#(mostly bc i went through a lot of experiences on here but still!!)

[his-grapejuice]

my writing blog has 100 followers i will announce officially later but hooo boy

#102 actual #ly #but for 3 fics 👀👀 #hey #irs a big deal for me #i rmb hitting 1.7k on chichikoi before and #my god was it nostalgic to look back on the 100 200s times #(mostly bc i went through a lot of experiences on here but still!!) #it was absolutely humbling #and it made me so grateful for each and every person who follows #bc 100!! #anywayssss #thank u guys 😅😅😅 #i am hella hella busy right now. and im probably not going to write much because of my amazingly painful schedule and writers block #but im going to create an art account soon!! #(by soon i mean in a month or two maybe) #so stay tuned i guess #ok byeeeeeeee

[be-good-to-bugs]

hmm

#the bin #ive felt like i havent posted much art which is the main reason i made an art only blog so i can actually see that ive posted quite a bit #i barely posted anything in 2021. only like 15 drawings but this year i posted way more. i actually went through and counted and theres #around 100 if i could each thing on a page with a bunch of drawings separately which i would consider them separate. not incliding wips #its mostly sketches and doodles but im still happy with that number. ive made far more that i havent posted but im happys i was able #to break out if my shell a but and post my art again. after i stopped using amino i just felt like my art isnt good enough to post here #amino was a much less public thing bc it was limited to that individual amino instead of the entire app. here felt was more intimidating #and idk. on amino i used to see so many other begginer artists aswell bc they had a feed of all the new posts made in that amino #but here i only ever saw more polished stuff made by more skilled artists. im quite happy with my art as it is now tbh #like. i know my art is very simple and stuff but i have gotten a handle on how i want it too look and its much better than my old stuff #im just happy that ive been able to. throughout my entire time using tumblr ive been making tons of art but i jist never posted it despite #wanting to. and it just feels nice now to call myself an artist on here bc its the most fundamental part of my person #i do intend to post most if the rest of my art from previous years aswell as the stuff from this year i didnt post bc i think its cute #anyway. ill stop talking now. its just been about a year since i really started posting my art here and im happy that i actually did it #my art doesnt really get much notes (except for that one reimu doodle for some reason) but it usually gets a few and it makes me happy #idk. its just nice. the only other experience ive had with posting my art here was a different blog and it ended horribly #got harrased a lot for drawing vent art and even just blood in art

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

making this in case i accidentally convince someone to play the spirit hunter/ death mark series bc i feel like i'll be drawing it a lot

here's a warning list (mostly from memory so i might miss something)

multiple ghosts were people who went through SA. in the first chapter of the first game it's specifically CSA. you're not explicitly shown what happened to them, in the majority cases it's only told to you through text. one of the bad endings in spirit hunter: ng is disturbing

there's fanservice with other characters... unfortunately... it's always w women/girls n it can really take you out of the scene. iirc spirit hunter: ng toned it down a bit but some of the cgs are still Bad there. some cgs can be avoided as long as you don't let the person die (in ng + 2)

lots of body horror

gore

suicide

bullying

animal death, child death

face distortions

jumpscares

insects, spiders (especially in death mark 1 + 2)

snakes

human experiments, torture

teacher-student affairs / student crushes (at least 2 circle back to the first point)

cults

death mark 2 is. rough. has good points but it's the roughest

too expensive (publishers fault)

if you're still interested but don't want to spend money there are no-commentary letsplays on youtube as well as manlybadasshero's playthrough. the main protagonist's va has also played the first game (jpn only; <here>)

the release order is death mark > ng > death mark II / shibito magire; but ng is a side story with a different protagonist

#text post #sa mention #suicide mention #also please know that you're always allowed to ask me for warnings if you're ever interested in a series i like #edit: added bullying it slipped my mind

[anxious-witch]

What a year, huh? We all know I have to be emotional on tumblr.com whenever the opportunity arises because that's one way I allow myself to have an emotional catharsis (for legal reasons this a joke)

In all seriousness though, this year has been a lot for me. Both in a good and bad sense, but Käärijä and Joker Out improved it significantly. And more importantly, their fandoms. (More inder the cut bc this is long af)

I have never really been someone who knows anything about the artists' whose music I listened to. Before this, I don't think I ever listened to a full album of someone, just random songs that I liked. Finding stuff from personal life of bands/musicians I liked usually made me depressed so I didn't bother.

Then, ESC 2023. happened. I frankly have no idea what flipped the switch in my head. Bojere interactions? The way people on tumblr were so welcoming even back when I was mostly posting about Let 3 and Käärijä only? I don't know, I only know that we are here now, regardless.

Another thing about me is that I used to be very pessimistic person. Likez genuinely. I have been "unofficially"(long story) diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I was 11, which is over a decade now. I always had a lot of bad experiences with people and really awful trust issues. I have been doing better for some time now, but it is very hard to let go of the feeling of pessimism and helplessness. In a world where awful things happen every second, what can I possibly do that would change anything?

Then ESC happened. Käärijä lost and I thought "another injustice that will never be corrected". Except, instead of feeling defeated, everyone just loved him more. In those weeks after and later on months, all I have seen had been unrelenting love and acceptance of Jere. Reminding him that despite not winning Eurovision, he is our winner and we'll forever think of him as such. Jere who has a wonderfully belly and strong thighs and is short and by no means is he conventional in any sense. And people loved him not despite all that but because all that. Because we all found ways to relate to him, or to what he went through.

His story of almost dying and still getting where he did only served to highlight that more. Because of he did it, why can't we get to what we want? Why can't I? It shifted my whole perspective.

Then, Joker Out. It is so, so funny to me how I barely paid any attention to them during ESC, except for bojere interactions and was dragged in it by the shared fandom, when now I post most about them.

But yes, JO. A band from Slovenia that while tehnically isn't Balkan, felt so close to me. Like they could understand all the things I kept to myself because of where I was. And then they showed me there is still hope.

I have never seen a band from around here take a pride flag on the stage. Never. I know it's a thing, especially abroad, but God I have never seen that happen here. And with how much love they always took it! That's...wow. It gave me hope that not only is it possible for injustices to be corrected, but that ot's possible to do it even in the environment I'm in.

And then...the Virtual Letters Project happened. Or well positive confessions that @spockowhales turned into Virtual Letters Project.

That's when I knew it's truly possible. I have seen tumblr posts, yes. But getting stuff so directly addressed about or to JO made me realize how much of a "wave" they all created. So many people said they helped them with their depression, with viewing their world differentky with meeting new peoplez with daring to do something new.

I have no words to describe how much that meant to me and I really hope that when they read those letters, they understood the impact they had.

But even that aside, I want to thank everyone in this fandom. People I have talked to, people I have interacted with it any way, through replies, reblogs, likes, anon asks. I appreciate every single one of you for helping create such a wonderful space. We had our ups and downs in the fandom, but we are all here because we love these fandoms, these people so much to keep talking about it even months after.

Thank you and I wish everyone here a wonderful New Year with even more laugh, love and positivity ❤️ have a good one

#rio rambles #käärijä #joker out #man this is so long but I couldn't stop myself #rio writes a love letter to jere JO and the fandom in general I guess lmao

[domtheforestgnome]

Moments my heart sequentially broke for Wilhelm in season 2 part 2

Hello! It's me again with another post about moments my heart sequentially broke for Wilhelm in season 2 of Young Royals. Here's part 1. And also there are Part 1 and Part 2 for Simon.

What's noticeable - based on these posts - till this moment Wilhelm has suffered mostly because of being rejected by Simon, whereas Simon is being hit from different directions (being in the destructive relationship with Marcus and hearing not nice stuff from him, being erased by Royal Court publicly, having hard time with his "long lost" sister, still being bullied by other students in Hillerska for his non-royal backgrounds)...

Yeah, that's my observation, feel free to make your conclusions based on it. Anyway my heart broke this season for Wilhelm when...

Simon agreed Wille's position actually IS problematic for him when it comes to their relationship. I mean, I really want to cry every time I see it.

I know the feeling, kiddo. I know the feeling sooo well. I wanted to hug him, and I really was disappointed he and Felice didn't go together to the ball, even though I got that she wasn't a fan of fueling the rumors with it.

On the other hand, watching Wilhelm like that is not entirely bad for him and feeling all those feelings. I imagine him trying to live the normal life, partying and all of that, and that could be also just to feel something, forcing and pushing things to extreme level - but the pain of being punch probably felt pretty real.

And here he wasn't in control and still felt something really strong and difficult. And in my opinion even though heartbreak is never easy, it was actually good for him to experience that as a... prince.

Do I even have to say anything? This scene is a masterpiece. Also it reminds me of the one in season 1. The one after Wilhelm learns that his mom knew about August's deeds and tried to excuse it with acknowledging Erik's legacy. Back then, I could really feel that he's so lonely and not gonna lie, I was really worried about his mental health in that moment - like "Please, Wilhelm, don't do anything bad to yourself, pleaseee". Though, this time he's not alone. At least he's got Felice, Boris, and even Nils to talk about it.

Yeah, I'd rather Wille and Felice went together for that ball. He was so lost. And Simon brought Marcus, not really making things easy for Wille.

Look how tired he was! Seeing him literally on the verge of exhaustion after putting all his energy to talk politely to Marcus and respectfully informing Simon, he surrenders. I'm so done!

Kissing Simon and still being very careful. Like, it all was still so fragile like glass in that moment.

When Wille made breakfast for Simon and the boy didn't want it, suddenly being very reserved towards Wille. The change in the mood after their kiss at the ball must be confusing.

Ugh... "all the things he said, all the things he said, running through my head" moment. Like Simon said lots of hurtful (still true) things to Wilhelm, and I am sorry for the kid bc it can hurt two times more when you really believe you doing things with a good will... I was watching that moment with sympathy for the kid. He believed he was doing the right thing and he really tried to administer justice towards August.

Him panicking and getting totally none of a response to it by Jan Olof and the other man. Like "you don't have to be sorry" would be nice to hear in this situation.

When he learnt August is his back-up.

I am proud of his reaction though - breathing and dealing with the news. Like before, kind of similar situation to that one in season 1 episode 6, but the reaction and also Kristina's emphasis on being in this together as a mother-son family, made it really different. They can do it. I believe it.

But later on I'm watching this scene and now as I am thinking about that...I might got manipulated just as Wilhelm. The way he said that his Mom is counting on him and therefore he should be doing all those things, the Royal Court want him to do, and yet it's so difficult for him. I mean I see a 16yo boy, but at the same time he talks and looks way more younger child. You can see that he loves his family so much too and cares for them, but the official role part is really messing ways of showing that.

When he was harsh for himself, being annoyed with the characters choices in the "Kris".

When everything started to collapse bc Simon didn't change his mind about going to police.

This whole sequence.

Oh, the longing. His thrive for the touch.

They shouldn't be scared!!! They're still children!!! I can't.

Yeah, I mean... Somehow my heart is even more broken for Wille here than for Simon, probably bc he's not stopping himself anymore from being that close to another boy. I know that Young Royals is not exactly about that (internal) struggle, but thinking about him in season 1 - all the pushing and pressure to have it in control, not let himself kiss Simon then kissing him, not wanting to be more than friends, then liking him too much for that, then all the video thing. He really wanted to be close to Simon, and here he finally was without stopping himself!!! And all their future was so unknown and scary. God!

...

Ok, I need a brake. That's all for now.

Take care!

Now with Part 3

#young royals #simon eriksson #wilmon #prince wilhelm #edvin ryding #omar rudberg #crown prince wilhelm #season 2 #analisys #more like observation #moments my heart broke #for wilhelm

[ukulelegodparent]

hey i just wanted to send an ask as someone who has been like really struggling with this for a while. it was your tag on post about white south africans that went something like people acting like having ancestors in europe gives them some magical tie to that place. i see a lot of posts telling people like me to reclaim their european roots rather than appropriate stuff that doesn't belong to me. is that really the answer? i just feel like i don't l have another option. seeing people with cultural ties that they can draw pride, inspiration, wisdom from and then looking at my own lack of any of that just kind of opened like a deep pit of dread in me as i thought about it more and more. idk even know if you have the answers necessarily its just been eating away at me and that tag kinda just kinda made me really wanna ask on the off chance you had any sort of answer.

Hey, I mean I'm no expert on the topic and can only really speak from my own experience which is mostly as a European interacting with Americans. This won't necessarily match your situation, but I just know more about the situation in the US bc of well. The everything of it.

I mean embrace your roots all you want and look at the culture of your ancestors and keep what you want and leave the rest. It's yours. But let's take someone who is German-American. Their ancestors came there in the mid 19th century and that is their latest direct cultural tie to Germany. Or German lands or whatever. It's the middle of the 19th century. It's complicated. Point is those ancestors left a society where their specific culture (whatever region they were living in) was the majority and went into a culture where it was the minority. So either they assimilate or they form a smaller community with other Germans. Either way at that point they are cut off from the main bulk of what they consider their culture. They themselves will have strong cultural influences from the culture that surrounds them and even without that the culture on it's own will slowly warp and change. So too will their language. Maybe they stop speaking German in the first generation, maybe during one of the world wars, maybe there are still parts of the adult population of that community that speak a form of German. What that German-American person would consider the traditions and culture that were passed down to them from the German side of the family might have very little to do with anything that was part of the culture of those initial immigrants to the US. Now while all that was happening German culture in Germany also changed a lot. Between Unification, a world war, the establishment of a democratic system, the absolute turmoil of the 20s, female emancipation, fascism, another world war, a refugee crisis, another dictatorship, a lot of immigration from Turkey and Italy, the establishment of the EU, reunification etc etc. German culture in Germany is also drastically different from what it was in the mid 19th century when those ancestors left.

So that is the one slightly odd thing that like. People talk about their what they consider their own culture and they call it eg "German" or "Polish" or whatever, but the culture they have has just been through a lot of washes. Which is fine, but it is a bit silly when people post pictures of two old women on a cemetery and they want to call them 'sweet ladies' but end up calling them 'old hags'. But also by calling it like a culture that has a whole country attached to it it's a bit like they're declaring themselves experts which. I mean it leads to miscommunication is all I'm saying. And also there's the point that ethnicity just doesn't work like that in Europe. It's just not carried down that far through the family. I might have had Polish or Dutch or Danish ancestors in the early 19th century but I literally would never know. So it's odd to us here for people to build their identity around something that lies so far in their past. Again. This is the part that is just a little odd, will get people made fun of etc. Maybe a little annoying at times but whatever. 'you have yours over there and we have ours over here' is the name of the game.

The frustrating thing is when people with this history act like they have any sort authority on these things. And especially the frequent (Especially American) 'Bull in a China shop' moments you get where people then base their entire personality around stereotypes and come here and act like they belong. And just. There is sometimes this deep unawareness with especially Americans that they are foreigners here. Of course with Americans the cultural imperialism plays into the frustration here but I see it even with my cousin who grew up in Aotearoa and who also just. I mean both of her parents are German, a lot of their friends are and they've visited almost every year she's been alive and yet, when she says she wants to study here all I can think is 'Girl you will have the biggest culture shock of your life' and her parents literally barely have Kiwi citizenship.

And it might also be from the European side an attempt to remove oneself from colonialism, though I don't think that's the case. There is a huge cultural divide, especially between continental Europe and the Anglosphere. But mostly I mean culture is a living breathing thing that people have to actively participate in to be a part of it. And wherever in Europe your roots may lie, by nature of living on the other side of the world you cannot participate in those traditions and you will be part of a different culture. Like my culture to me is Easter Fires just as much as getting a Döner after a long night out and getting fresh bread rolls from a bakery on a Sunday morning and not being able to go shopping on a Sunday and terrible terrible Apres-Ski music (that I must admit I indulge in sometimes) and the stellar parody dubs of 2010 German Youtube and hearing church bells, and the architecture and the language omg the language, the beautiful poems, having to suffer through Faust in school, the supermarkets, the way towns work here, the way winter smells, the way my grandfather talks and the way my great-grand aunt talks, the forests, the mountains, the fields, not going to the Oktoberfest, not because I don't have the means to but because growing up I was taught to despise it and all things Munich with it, good Brezen, amazing lentil stew (from the can of course), the list goes on and on and on. And some of these are really specific to me and some are more general. And like if you want to connect with your roots, I'm genuinely happy for you, have fun! But for our hypothetical German American, whatever sits at the heart of German and European culture (bread and a certain grumpiness seem to be a big component of both) it will probably never be truly hers. Even if she were to move here. And that's fine. I mean. Idk which post you saw bc there actually were two where I left comments like that in the tags, but one of them listed a lot of examples of what culture can be and of why the 'haha white people have no culture' thing is inaccurate. Maybe it's just that it's hard to see sometimes when your culture is so squarely the majority you never ever have to think about it. Idk. I look around me and even between the regions I've lived in there are such stark cultural differences. Culture can be the songs you sing for children to fall asleep, what the most prominent mode of transport is, where you go to eat, what you eat, what you cook, whether you cook at all, whether you go to church, whether there are crosses hanging everywhere despite rarely anyone ever going to church, what you wear, especially outside of traditional clothing. Maybe at the core of this discomfort I expressed in those tags is also the big question of 'why are you looking here for guidance? You are so different.'

#this is chaotic but I hope it was at least a little helpful? #it's also very long #feel free to add to it or whatever #I will go get groceries now #ask #anon

[iratusmus]

so bizarre to me when people give fiona a redemption arc like making her evil wasnt literally like the fundamental core of making her an actually interesting character. like . ok actually i was mostly planning on just leaving the post as this but im going to make a proper post whining about this because ive seen it far too often for my liking.

it appears to me that a lot of people do this because they dislike fiona/scourge which is like. sure i get it. but you could literally just... break them up . and have her continue being awful on her own. like scourge is not the reason she switched sides and i find the idea. 1) a bit misogynistic frankly but thats more of a personal gripe than anything else like god forbid a woman make bad choices of her own volition and not because a man forced her hand into doing it (YES i am aware that abuse makes this more complicated than that but also we .... already have a relationship in archie sonic that fits this exact bill. yes it wasnt written well but the wonder of fan works is that you can always make it better. so why are we repeating it again 1:1) and 2) demeaning to the point of her character.

like. ok. lets go over the facts real quick. as a kid fiona got put in robotnik's salt mines and got accidentally left behind bc sonic & co couldnt find her. she realized that nobody was going make the effort to go save her, so she dug herself out and started life on the run as a treasure hunter/thief. she didnt ever really accept the fact that sonic and mighty not saving her wasnt really their fault, and even after becoming a freedom fighter, nobody ever said anything or apologized or said "hey wow that kind of sucks you went through all that". she never really made any actual friends within the ff or formed any meaningful bonds. she starts dating sonic, but its pretty clear that the only reason they're dating is that she's his rebound post The Slap. the moment her history with bean & bark came up - after she used that knowledge to save everybody - sally immediately turns on her and sonic is the only person to try to stick up for her. as bark and bean leave, bean also insinuates that fiona isnt really a freedom fighter, and that she's still basically one of them.

fiona is a "bad" trauma survivor. when i say "bad" i mean in opposition to the ideal tumblr trauma survivor - the sad poor uwu bean whose trauma only inclines them hurt themselves and they become more sympathetic kind etc. as a result. fiona, on the other hand, blames sonic (whose fault this is, frankly, not) for her experiences, and becomes more jaded and mean. she has no real support system and people repeatedly tell her that she hasnt changed and that she wont change and she cant change. shes already got all this baggage by the time her relationship with scourge starts carrying actual weight - he's offering her a way out. if none of them are ever going to really accept her being "good", then she might as well just give into her worst impulses and join hands with scourge, who, notably, has no stake in this - he doesnt have any obligation to be her friend like the freedom fighters, and more than that he likes her specifically because of the part of her that everybody else hates. the important part here is that he encouraged her to switch sides, he didnt make her switch sides.

id say fiona's character in a writing sense is an exploration of the failings of the freedom fighters to support a trauma victim, and how those failings, while unintentional, lead that victim to specifically turn against them. she says "ok actually screw all of you guys" and gives up on trying to be good because nobody ever gave her any real encouragement and decides to put herself on a path of self-destructive revenge and inflicting her misery onto the general population. we can also recall at this point that this motivation is entirely removed from scourge and you can literally break them up and still keep her evil.

the other important point here is that she purposefully chose that path of turning evil as opposed to leaving the freedom fighters or going somewhere else or like literally doing anything else. she literally could have just left but she did not and thats what makes her Interesting. prompted by her unhealed trauma and personal baggage she made those bad choices for herself, and frankly i cannot for the life of me understand why people think that walking back that character development (and yes i mean character development. character development can also mean getting worse) for ..... what. snarky but with a heart of gold generic protagonist girl? come on guys

#besides what happened to not having enough female villains smh #archie sonic #fiona fox #iratusmus.txt

[kiisaes]

it's kinda funny seeing ppl instinctively react to my omori catholic school au with shock or confusion but i do get anxious that the au itself is being misinterpreted so here's a quick post to clear some stuff up

this is not a pro-catholicism au

this is also not an anti-catholicism au. i don't really dive into the catholicism part of it anyway. it's just an au of the faraway gang going to catholic school

i'm not catholic, ex-catholic, or went to catholic school, but i do have ample youth experience with christianity (the evangelical church to be precise) (i also consulted [ex-]catholic friends about their experiences, as i know catholicism and evangelicalism are different). i based faraway's comfortable but conservative/religious environment off of my own hometown, in which there are catholic schools everywhere. if i ever get anything wrong let me know!!! but again the catholicism part of catholic school isn't actually the focal point

the main reasons why this is a catholic school au in general is bc 1.) i'm pretty sure the one church in faraway is catholic (i could be wrong), so i'm assuming faraway is predominantly of catholic faith, 2.) school uniforms are fun to draw and are way easier than their normal clothes and 3.) catholic school is one of the most well-documented and understood religious education systems in the US

the main theme is identity suppression, a fairly common thing ex-catholics mention going through (as well as ex-religious people going through in general). this is mainly illustrated as internalized queerphobia in this au. i thought that framing internalized queerphobia through an outdated religious lens would make it easier to understand, a clear cause and effect

i went through some wacky and honestly kinda funny religious trauma growing up, so i don't want this au to be overly depressing and heavy. i know religious trauma can be really tough for a lot of people but this au is mostly silly!!! a slice of life log of four catholic school teens dealing with themselves the more they're approached with the concept of not being "pure". i felt like this was a vague presence in the game so i wanted to expand on it more myself. this was also my experience growing up and i'm still going through it now, so i thought making a lighthearted au out of it would help me heal too

i'm making this list more serious than it should be, it's really not that deep and it's mostly an excuse to dump my experiences with faith onto some goofy drawings :>

TL;DR: this is a silly au detailing what it can be like growing up religious/impacted by religion as u're increasingly introduced to ur inherent "sinfulness" and moral impurity aka being queer. grahhhh. that's it

i hope this helped clear some stuff up!!!!!!

#GRAHHHHHHH #i hoped i wouldn't need to clarify but as this au reached more ppl i got more ppl going 'AYO WHAT' so #i got nervous hfgjdhgdfj #ultimately it's more like a personal project that i'm projecting onto omori characters lol #o<-< #omori au #becki rambles about stuff #i might delete this post if i get overwhelmed by its existence

[the-owl-tree]

I know it’s unpopular and ig would be seen as chronically online but. a little annoyed at the “UGH 🙄 and here come THOSE people” @ comments those being horrified abt Frostpaw being spayed and connecting it to real life events like bipoc being sterilized against their will. I personally am not one of those people, nor do I think it’s anywhere near that serious or on that level bc I thought it was an interesting turn in the books, but as a black afab myself who would most definitely face forced sterilization if I were not a more privileged individual, (because you know the health system itself loves to play around with our bodies like science experiments as though we cannot physically feel pain) I’m gonna need the yt warrior cats fans to cut it out w the snide superiority complex on “lesser takes” and understand there’s people who are gonna reasonably draw comparisons to these events and see how incredibly horrifying it is what the anthropomorphic cat just went through. not to hit a fucking beehive but why is it acceptable to understand the harmful impacts of misogyny in the series affect people in the real world but misoginoir is taking a step too far?

discourse on bumble being a domestic abuse victim has people understanding and drawing comparisons between that and real life events but we draw the line when woc are brought up. okay. why?

this isn’t at you btw because you generally have nuanced takes and take the time to consider what people are actually saying but like. what’s going on here I’m genuinely blindsided by people rolling their eyes. it is an issue. it’s a huge issue and it’s still happening in places! can’t speak for other countries but it’s still legal on a federal level in the U.S where I live and in my state. my problem isn’t the people drawing comparisons with Frostpaw. my problem is the reaction to that. I don’t understand why one systematic issue can be discussed and the other not without scrutiny and handled as though it’s not as serious topic.

also to note: I am aware that Frostpaw being spayed was not based on any perceived race or ethnicity. I am aware that this was simply for shock value (as of the moment, anyway ((which is what makes it worse imo but that’s another convo))) and I am aware that I cannot speak on behalf of anyone facing this issue but myself and cannot reasonably say that anyone drawing these conclusions will always 100% take the matter as seriously as needed. however I can say that it is a bit difficult for me to accept that in a world where each character has human intelligence, thoughts wishes and feelings, that the concept of forced sterilization, abhorrent and frightening outside of normal cat understanding, frankly should be handled with the utmost care able to be expended. I know it will not be. I am aware. the authors have a history of using their personal bias to push racist narratives before. I understand that people are saying handle the subject with tact and maturity. I just do not believe it is the right or position of a mostly white fanbase to police the discussion of what happens to women of color because we are often spoken over as is. I hope that I have made my point clear? I’m not the best at explaining myself over subjects I’m passionate about, so I may have tripped over my words a bit. I do apologize if it came off as talking in circles

I'll admit, when I first read the spoilers and learned what happened, I drew some connections but I also agree that it's not nearly on that level. But I think it would be wildly inappropriate if I tried to talk on that as a white person.

I don't have much to add, but I think you've raised some pretty understandable concerns and you're very clear in your points, I didn't have any trouble following you! I genuinely have a lot of concerns about the plotline and I think you're right that it's important to be open about these discussions.

#ask to tag #i do apologize i don't have anything really substantial to add #but i don't know enough or am in a position to really be spearheading these conversations #i have my own concerns about the misogyny that i expect to follow #but i think it's very fair for people to see a plot like this and draw connections to other experiences

[yvtro]

Two questions that I'm genuinely interested in your answer for (bc I love your metas ngl) but I totally get it if you don't answer.

What's your biggest unpopular opinion on Jason, and your least favorite popular/fandom opinion on him?

disclaimer: i’m moving blogs. still here to go through my askbox, but you will find me at @boyfridged most of the time.

i'm very flattered, thank you!! and sorry this took me so long to answer. and it did take me so long 1. because it’s really hard to tell what is actually an unpopular opinion (i did thankfully find myself in a circle of mutuals who mostly share the same intuitions when it comes to his character) and 2. because I mentally put a label on it “asks to get me assassinated.” and I guess the take that i have requires quite careful wording. 

so, my unpopular take is that from in-universe point of view, jason shouldn’t be a vigilante, and it would be best for the storytelling around him to focus on this fact. and i’m not saying that in a mean, moralistic nor diminishing way. i just think that jay’s storyline is a story of everything that can go wrong with a sidekick, and of how vigilantism can traumatise people into oblivion, and completely annihilate their ability to function normally. part of it is a result of the fact that imo jason isn’t naturally suited for vigilantism (that is not to talk about his skills nor efficiency in it, i will get back to it shortly), and part of it is a result of the circumstances in which he was introduced into it, and of course the subsequent trauma.

you could say “uhm every superhero story is like that, he’s not special,” but typically, when you think about characters such as bruce wayne or dick grayson etc., the event that comes to mind when you think about their biggest trauma is something that… pushed them into vigilantism? and vigilantism supposedly helped them in some ways? (it can be argued against, but that’s an underlying assumption) (+even without a tragic backstory, characters usually have much more agency in their decision to become vigilantes). and in case of jay, his biggest trauma isn’t anything that came before robin, and his life was awfully fucking sad, so i think that it says something. his biggest trauma is associated with what he went through already as robin and then retraumatising events that followed his resurrection. 

it’s really puzzling to me that this distinction is never deliberately written about nor truly brought up in comics…? i think the closest we came to this was, ironically, starlin’s run (when alfred straight up suggests that maybe robin just isn’t good for jason) and countdown (where jay intends to leave the superhero community altogether). 

okay, so you can say: vigilantism is kinda shitty for you. breaking news, we’ve known this already.

except there's something, in my opinion, that makes jason’s case special and more nuanced. it seems, at first glance, that with all the love and compassion jason has, he should be great material for a vigilante still. but he clearly isn’t. why is that?

the crushing proportion of other characters have moral systems, coping mechanisms, and understanding of vigilantism that make this life at least possible for them. on the other hand, jason’s personality, his lived experience, and his moral stance makes vigilantism extremely unsustainable. i mentioned it before in my post about eoc, but most (especially 1st gen, but not only, i’d argue that most former teenage superheroes also came to this point as well) vigilantes, even if associated with love and compassion as the core of their actions, have understanding of vigilantism and moral codes that jason doesn’t possess. (for a long while i was on a “jason has a moral code but it’s casually bastardised by most writers” team but since then i have thought about it a lot and my current take is that he was good at following orders as robin, and has some provisional rules as the red hood, but they’re nowhere near an actual code. as i said in the linked post, i think morality is more of an on-going emotional practice for him). and it all makes sense! let's circle back to bruce for a moment. of course, the reason for which he doesn’t kill is grounded within his own beliefs, but he is also very painfully aware of the thin line that vigilantes walk on when it comes to the law and being trusted by the public. i'd argue he is very conscious of the fact that being a vigilante comes with responsibility of cultivating a certain ethos. he had a lot of time to think about it! in many ways, he invented it. and it’s practical. it's what makes this life possible.

jason doesn’t have it. jason’s idea of vigilantism isn’t carefully designed nor sophisticated, jason’s idea of vigilantism is that he is in the field and he has power to do things, so he has to do them. he has to trust his moral intuitions. and in many ways, he’s not wrong – it's not a flawed view to hold, especially not in the ordinary life. but that also means that there are no lines that he won’t cross if he thinks he can help or fix the situation. but in the world that batman introduces us to (a world in which, to quote le guin on an unrelated matter, there’s no ends, but only means), it’s self-destructive. to compare him again to bruce, bruce is self-sacrificial, but his conceptual understanding of vigilantism and his moral code protect him in some ways. jason’s moral judgements and actions are unrestrained and radical (not to say that they’re reckless or inefficient; he’s still a great strategist and can be even overly careful if it’s required). and that is set in a world where evil never stops. we already know that the joker will always come back, for example. what does it mean for jason? he will try to match the energy, of course, and he’s not stopping either. bruce is similar in that aspect, yet he has a whole insurance set that helps him deal with extreme situations. there's an offset. and jason doesn’t have any. he won’t ever hit the breaks. i think you know where i’m going with this metaphor. 

so i guess my take is that… bruce’s outlook on vigilantism is, against the popular opinion, very rational. but jason just brings his heart into it and nothing else. and that’s just catastrophic.

this is really me just pushing the “love is his fatal flaw” agenda again tbh, but with additional emphasis on why the same trait isn’t that tragic for other characters who share it. also this is why it’s so crucial to me that he should have a civilian arc… 

and as to my least favourite fandom opinion on him, i can't think of anything very specific right now, but my general pet peeve is anything that divorces his characterisation from his 80s personality. i think you can tell that i really dislike painting him as resentful towards dick, and all takes that indicate that he's always been cynical and distrustful toward the world. i think a lot of people want his storyline to be one of someone who has, from day one, been full of rightful anger, but the thing is that it has not been his story to begin with. he had to be pushed really far for this to happen. and this is what makes him so special compared with most anti-heroes – that his story starts from a genuine place of innocent and naive hope and love despite all he suffered.

#dc #this is a mess but it's been in my drafts for a while. and i don't think i have energy to say anything else #btw i think that my *actual* unpopular take is on batman!jason but i already talked about it lots

[sapphire-weapon]

I think the fact that so many people want to label Leon/Ashley as canonically "sibling- coded" is because they feel threatened in the way they view other of Leon's relationships, they can tell Leon and Ashley have chemistry and they try to convince themselves that they have a familial bond going on (like Ellie/Joel) so that they can justify not shipping them and making people who ship it feel bad/weird.

Because nowadays so many people can't just dislike something, they have to make up a reason why it's morally wrong and unacceptable so that way they can bully people that think differently and feel like their own personal opinions are objective and right while everyone else is wrong smh. This is mostly the case with younger fans (tho a lot of people older than me does this too lmao) so that's why I don't really find it frustrating bc it's most likely they have limited real life experience. Plus they might not be that good at interpreting canon from contextual clues yet.

In my case though I think a lot of these people are actually doing the opposite tbh because to me it just shows that they recognize that Ashley's relationship with Leon is real and they can't even concede that they're friends in the canon because they know it could lead to something else if followed through in the story, they admit there's potential there subconsciously with how hard they try to make it seem otherwise with nonsense claims. It's like when insecure guys feel uncomfortable but try to seem tough by buying big trucks and having guns on them all the time lmao.

So, I've talked about this before -- about how the "sibling coded" or "problematic age gap" discourse is just modern-day fandom's way of slutshaming and engaging in casual misogyny in a societally acceptable way.

I'm pretty confident in saying that anyone in my generation who slaps "siblings" on Leon and Ashley are probably people who have another ship and have had it for a while and don't want Ashley getting in the way of it, tbh LMAO

Like.... my generation has co-opted the current generation's vernacular, but make no mistake about the kind of bitches we are. We're ship war bitches. That's all we've ever been AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE OUR WAYS NOW fjdskfh

But if we're talking about the current generation...

Media illiteracy is a big factor in this. It's no secret to anyone that the US education system took a massive shit starting in the late aughts/early 2010s, and things like critical reading skills aren't being taught in schools anymore.

I graduated high school in 2007. Two years later, I went back to visit an old English teacher to get a letter of recommendation, and he was lamenting to me that he'd just given up. It wasn't worth trying to explain the deeper themes of Beowulf to kids who didn't care, because the only thing that mattered was getting them to pass standardized tests.

So, now, without an overt, explicit declaration of love or something visually concrete like a kiss, kids literally do not have the skills to parse through a text and pick out themes and tropes and use of symbolism and imagery. They were never taught how to do it.

But there's a more culture-based thing happening here, I think. It's this fucking mess of a cocktail of internalized misogyny paired with learned helplessness, social anxiety, intense sheltering possibly exacerbated by the pandemic shutdowns, peer pressure, and internet purity culture.

I think it's pretty safe to say that fandom is predominantly made up of women and teenage girls. That was true in the 60s in Star Trek fandom, it was true in my generation, and it's still true today. And what I've seen happening today is that young women are absolutely terrified of their own sexual agency -- because the internet keeps telling them that, if you're under 18, it is wrong and bad and unacceptable for you to engage with anything even remotely sexual and how dare you express your sexuality -- and you'd better not do it not just because it's wrong and bad, but also because you are GUARANTEED TO BE PREYED UPON IF YOU DO. SEX IS DANGEROUS ALL OF THE TIME AND YOU'RE LITERALLY TOO YOUNG AND TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING SO DON'T TRY TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Because if you're 17 and he's 18, he's a pedophile!!!!!!!!

I just.

So, we've now basically turned an entire generation of young women into the same type of young women who created the BL genre in Japan. These are women who were too afraid to explore their sexuality on their own, and it felt safer to do it with two male characters, because it was always more "okay" for men to be sexual. This is happening here in the West, now.

Slash ships have always been a thing in the West, but not to the degree that they are today. In today's fandom, if you have an M/F ship at all, you are outnumbered by at least 3:1 -- because M/M just "feels" safer for a lot of the current generation.

So, I think young women look at the Remake portrayal of Ashley Graham, and they identify with her. A lot. They're probably around her age, and her personality is very relatable to the kind of girls who play video games. Ashley's clearly introverted, but she's a fast learner who just wants to help, and she's got a good heart and a weird, kind of awkward sense of humor.

And, not only do these girls identify with Ashley, they're probably thirsty as fuck for Leon.

But that's terrifying to them.

Because they have been taught to fear their own sexual agency. The idea that an attractive, traditionally masculine, older man would be romantically or sexually interested in them is immediately categorized in their brains as wrong and bad -- and they don't want to think of Leon in that way.

So... for them, it can't be romantic. It can't be sexual. But there's clearly something there, but Leon would never abuse or prey on anyone so... that bond must be a perfectly innocent familial affection. That's what it is. That's what it has to be, because anything else forces them to face the uncomfortable reality even young women like them go on dates and have sex -- and sometimes, it's with men like Leon.

So, they thirst over Leon at a safe distance through Luis, primarily. Or they self-indulge on reader fic, because that's so much easier to write off as "just a fantasy" and not a statement on who Leon actually is as a character.

And it's just kind of sad, man. It sucks to see this happen to an entire generation of young women.

That's why I don't really get mad when I see the "siblings" shit out in the wild. I just feel sad for those people -- because they can't just say "I don't like the ship." They're so insecure and neurotic that they have to think of a reason why the ship is literally impossible to ever happen so that they don't have to be worried about it.

One day, they'll finally suck a dick for themselves and learn that it's not that serious. It's really fuckin not. Dicks are stupid, and the boys that are attached to them are even dumber.

#resident evil 4 #resident evil #leon kennedy #ashley graham

[genesisgijinka]

I have returned with another essay on worldbuilding.

Part one: Design.

Your world has more animalistic pokemon. Going for a more... Adapted to a real functioning world where physics and biology are mostly in accordance with how it would work here.

My favourite example of this is this post. In it is pictured a Gardevoir. I don't know if the design is still accurate, but said gardevoir is less a funny alien creature and instead an elongated owl.

Another amazing example of this is the Power Scale post. The beastly legendaries and especially Arcy look sick. With "unrealistic" features like Arcy's fence gate being adapted into much more believable features/body parts.

That being said, we get to

Part 1.5: The Point

With most pokemon being animal-ified, there are some where that just isn't realy feasible. Good contenders for this are the magnemite line, a ton of Grass types and otherwise plant pokemon, and a bunch of object pokemon

small list of examples: Chandelure, klefki, Sudowoodo, oddish, bellsprout, shroomish, grimer, gastly, voltorb, Porygon, Koffing, Cofagrigus, and Ditto. (to be honest, ditto needs its own section)

How would you handle pokemon like that?

I kind of like the idea of naturally occuring mechanical life. You open up a dead Magnezone and there's just a load of gears and electric components in there. (imagine steampunk but with electricity instead of steam)

similarly, How would Gijinka of robotic/ object mons work?

Part 2: Pokespeak

In the anime all Pokemon speak Pokespeak. With pokemon being more animalistic, How do you handle them communicating?

Same question with the sentient mons situation from the anime. Most if not all pokemon on the protagonist's team (COUGH Pikachu) are of similar intelligence as a human, they have complex logic, can read, experience the entire spectrum of emotion, can perfectly understand language, etc.

How does that work?

That'll be it for now.

Part 1-1.5

Yep, gardevoir design is still accurate. Most of my design process for figuring out how I'm going to interpret pokemon design is deviating from a lot of common things that I see. Continuing with the gardevoir example, it's one of those pokemon that you don't google bc everyone just turns it into a booby waifu. I looked at the face and kinda went, 'Hey, that looks like the facial disk of an owl,' and started there.

For things that aren't easily interpreted, I switch to scribbling around with shapes. The Arceus fence thing was more inspired by the biblically accurate angels thing from the book of Revelations bc i thought that was funny lol. Sometimes I just give up tho and things like sylveon still gets it's weird ribbon things bc it's a Fey and they are not beholden to normal rules.

Other ways I design pokemon is by trying to figure out what niche they would fill and how would they have evolved to fill it bc nature is bonkers like that and doesn't like empty spaces. The universe of Genesis is absolutely riddled with ambient energy, so you get things like sentient almost-rocks and minerals or florauna creatures that make up plant types since everything is essentially swimming in a sort of low-key primordial soup. Sometimes a loose spirit just really thinks that chandelier is cool looking and would make a good home. The Good Soup™ makes it easier for that spirit to move its new body and now you have a new pokemon! All that loose energy gives life to things that on our world, would not work. But hey, such is magic-science.

There are lots of different paths I can take, so I don't really have a set process of how I generally do it. And there are so many theories of how certain pokemon came to be - either through in-game lore talked about in the pokedex/from NPCs or someone with their red string on the wall making a spider's web of what's going on in the world of pokemon - that I can take some of those and just run with it. For example; you brought up ditto. Congratulations! You've discovered Prime's "siblings," since I'm using the theory that ditto were Rocket's failed attempts at cloning mew. Little blobs that use the energy of the world around them to craft bodies several times their mass and size, using moves that they don't normally learn.

Robotic/object gijinka would depend on which pokemon is the base form. There's a whole lot of human in a gijinka which keeps things to a mostly human base (this is how I ignore the egg types in gijinka when it comes to reproducing and y'know, keeping your culture alive), so it would mostly boil down to types. If someone was of the magnemite line, they'd have iron/steel deposits in places where the skin is thin, like how Heph does on his knuckles, a characteristic of a steel type gijinka. They'd also be more prone to generating static electricity. Or a doctor giving a vanilluxe gijinka a check up has to have a different base body temperature to test against since ice types have a body temp that runs a little bit cooler than most others (fire types have the opposite problem. Razor has torched off shirt sleeves before, which is why he's almost always in a tank-top of some sort)

Part 2

How do pokemon communicate with each other? Idk, the same way they do in Tarzan. They just, can. Smth smth, pokemon speaking with their hearts, not words. Pokéspeak isn't suuuper well understood, mostly due to not having enough cases to study, but it does very rarely crop up in people from time to time. N is canon to the Genesis timeline (not sure when just quite yet but anyway) and he can fully understand pokemon. Biggest theory is that it's stored away somewhere in the human DNA, a leftover from when pokemon and humans were once considered the same, ala Sinnohian lore. Kinda like how every now and then irl there's a human baby born with a tail. Tail genes are still in our DNA, but it gets switched off at some point during fetal development.

That being said tho, some pokemon have managed to learn human language, in a way. Unown being the starting point for many languages in the world used to communicate more with people back in the day, but now it's considered a mostly dead/slightly resurrected language like Mayan.

The abra line are particularly clever and good at figuring out human patterns. Champion Red from Kanto taught a lot of his pokemon sign language as part of their training and a few of them can sign back at him. He's rarely seen without his kadabra, Pythagoras, and she's the most fluent out of all his pokemon. It's still broken and incomplete tho, kinda like how an african grey parrot would string words together.

A lot of how pokemon speak to each other is mostly body language tho, which even in humans is calculated to make up a whopping 55% of how we communicate with one another (38% is vocal tone and a measly 7% is the actual words and their dictionary definition/context. So it's no wonder why so many people get into arguments on the interwebs with black text on a white background) Pokemon still pick up on all of this, and with their different way of communication, they can still usually pick out human meanings just fine.

#comic ask #thebulletbot #world building #worldbuilding #wb #long post

[teethkid67]

i havent said anything personally on the situation bc im not sure that its my place & not sure what my next move is .

first off shelby has been incredibly brave and as someone who doesn't watch her and hasnt ever, ive felt mostly that it was best for me to be supportive in a quiet way & that it wasnt my place to give my input . most of all i didnt want to reduce her solely to her abuse and "victimhood" as to me it feels extremely counterproductive to post only about that when she is obviously more than what she went through . it felt disingenuous to begin posting about it as if i was someone who's always cared about shubbles content when honestly im not . bc at the end of the day its not about me and its not about her abuser , its about shubble and ive never been a member of her community .

i dont want my silence to be interpreted as me not caring about the situation or not believing her because i do ; i don't want to speak where my voice isnt needed or could take away from others . from some of the responses ive been seeing though i feel its far more important to listen to and boost her voice than be quiet .

i dont want to talk about him because ultimately this is about platforming shelby and what shes gone through . that said i HAVE watched, posted about and supported her all-but-named abuser , so im involved at least on that level and i want to say i am horrified by the abuse shubble has described.

the general reaction to her coming forward i have seen on this site and others , from one end of the spectrum (she hasnt said his name so we cant know / its not that bad / blatant excuses and defense of him) to the other (leaktwt / posts about how hes always been a creep / jumping down the throats of anyone who words their thoughts in a way they deem wrong) has been horrifying to witness . some of the most unproductive commentary ive seen on an issue like this and i was here from cmc to drm .

im deeply upset and feel i should say somewhere that some of the shit ive seen is unacceptable and contradictory to shelbys initial point, which i understand to be 2 things: 1) highlighting how abuse is not always obvious, or 'normal', and ways to recognize these situations as a victim 2) to highlight her own personal experiences and to stop both her own abuser and others from being platformed .

mcytdom is NOTORIOUS for "drama" like this and similarly well-known for being unable to boost / listen to / BELIEVE victims or at least leave them the fuck alone . to anyone who's ever been groomed or abused, esp my mutuals who have received extremely insensitive messages and feedback in wake of this , my heart goes out to you and i hope you are doing alright & know how appreciated and strong you are . shelby, niki, and other victims of abuse should be listened to and celebrated for both their bravery and strength and for who they are as people .

on a more personal note heres ig what im going to do going forward

this is my blog & im not leaving it , wont be deleting any posts either , mutuals id love to stay in touch if youre moving out or moving on .

very likely ill still be here in the smp hell . just gonna have to see how i feel about it all . in the three and a half years ive been drawing reading and writing about these characters a lot has changed including my perspective . ultimately tho its not about me

general message i want to get across is that im glad shelby is healing and getting the help she needs, as well as doing well enough to help others recognize the signs . love you my mutuals and friends and followers . take care of yourselves

#personal #abuse

[iantimony]

twoweeker tuesday: redux

im really making a trend of two-weekin these huh. gonna try to Not do that bc it makes me way less likely to actually do it lol. speed-posting this before bed (and before the melatonin kicks my ass, i'm trying to reset my sleep sched a bit)

listening: hozier unreal unearth. sammy rae & the friends. leaving this pretty sparse because i don't want to dig back through my history for the past two weeks and that's definitely the bulk of it. some notes from the Release Radar(tm) that i like: good luck, babe! - chappell roan bell - rob blivion waiting. - pater ...all (feat jake clemons, live) - grouplove i had not my hat - tom rosenthal april 8, 2024: the great north american eclipse - sleeping at last (!!!) too sweet - hozier flea - st vincent lil' freak - bbno$

reading: finished the main bit of scum villain! i'm reading the extras now. officially read all three mxtx books

watching: FINISHED SERIAL EXPERIMENTS LAIN. i have so many thoughts. i was in delta-orionis' dms about it a bit but my ass has so many Notes. many thoughts. gnosticism mostly but also the obvious tech-as-extension-of-self throughline. idk it was a very weird show and i definitely need to re-watch it to let it sink in a little more.

playing: no games but a lot of horn! i have an audition tomorrow for the fall's campus ensembles, i am...not super confident about it tbh, unsurprisingly i am not back to where i was pre-pandemic so my upper range and endurance is still really crunchy.

making: i keep forgetting to charge my phone before pottery so it keeps. dying. so i made quite a few new things the past few weeks but no photos of those - i did Crack the Code a bit, so now i can more reliably get things shaped in a conscious way. basically i was sitting too far forward so when i was pulling the walls up i was actually doing it at an angle, if i sit with my nose over the center of the pot it's all *chef kiss* beautiful. anyways here's a few glaze related pics. a lot of disappointment unfortunately.

1. my fucked up teacups. god im so mad about these. they were supposed to be a cool grey-green with a white flower, and matte. it is None Of These Things. idk will get redone. big mad.

2. bowl and mug that both got bubbles because i misread the glaze labels - they're both mayco glazes that are optimized for cone 05, not cone 5, so the both the color is not as good as i thought and also the surface variation is. not great. the bowl is acceptable, it's mirror blue, it went through the kiln again and the bubbles evened out (pic is from before), and plus it's on the outside - i just put plain white on the inside - so it's fine. the mug is a little more problematic. it was green slip sgraffito with evergreen fir over top, and i really love the color effect, but there's some small bubbles along the rim...this glaze was marked as food safe in a way that the mirror blue is Not so i thought it would be fine but. well. i'm hoping nuking it in the kiln again will smooth those out.

3. One Good Thing: trying a new glaze technique! someone in my studio does this gorgeous thing where she paints on flowers with underglaze, then covers them with liquid latex to paint on the background, and finally peels off the latex. it always comes out sooo nice, so when i ordered some more underglaze i went ahead and added liquid latex to cart too :3 this is just the flowers, i will be adding the background tomorrow!

eating: uhhh good cauliflower vegetarian shawarma thing that i refused to make unless we added a can of chickpeas because where in the fuck is the protein. tonight was a miso-butter chicken with radishes that we added potatoes and onions to. both sheetpan recipes so im def a fan of those now.

misc: ouuuugh. augh. oughghghg. i need to be done with homework forever please god. i have like...7? 8? total hws left between my two classes. and then i am Done With Classes. mentally gearing up to do my preliminaries at the end of the summer. not to doxx myself but ouch. basketball yesterday. Pain. the eclipse yesterday WAS unreal. oh my god. i drove to [redacted] very small town about 40 minutes from me and it was perfect. so glad i avoided the Big City, although that's where my roommate and her mom went and apparently the traffic was fine, but i'm definitely glad to have been in a less crowded zone. i get it now. i want to take that feeling i had watching totality and eat it and keep it with me forever. i was with friends. the weather was perfect. it was beautiful.

#tuesdayposting

[bestworstcase]

I was exited for Vol 9 but i so afraid at how they would handle Ruby like will she actually get to vent without having her words used against ger for once???

And the answer was a big no and YET

They made it clear that whatever happens its something they cant gloss over anymore

She got to explode in such a messy way

Hurt the people she loves by going for the juggular

Throught that whole scene for me theres was just this feeling of vindication

FINALLY we're seeing the result of the oh so inspiring "if youre not performing at your absolute best then..." she got from Ozpin

The way she basically took a hammer to the pedestal herself is still just so chefs kiss

Ps i know Neo wants her absolutely fucking dead. But i feel with all the narrative destroying (affectionate) going kn the Ruby and Neo would get along so well now that Ruby isnt masking brainworks have activated

hgfsg YEAH!

i only got into rwby like… a bit less than a year and a half ago, went into it mostly blind (<- i knew the fandom was SUPER ship heavy, a very basic summary of who cinder was, and “this is salem, you would love her” lmao) and got as far as 1.4 before i was like

—except at that point i was being facetious bc rwby really does a fantastic job of initially masquerading as your bog standard ‘plucky kids save the world’ fantasy story at first (<- & stories like that are fun! i just tend to read them with tongue in cheek bc they do make me very conscious of my own suspension of disbelief). i remember hitting 1.10 for the first time and going 😬 and then feeling increasingly like, ‘…hold up.’ through V2-3 and by the time i reached V4 i was like. okay this is a deconstruction let’s GO! but figured the salem side of things would continue to be played straight (bc it always is) until lost fable cold-clocked me. and then i became Deranged.

so during the gap in between finishing V8 and V9 starting, there… honestly there wasn’t a single doubt in my mind that ruby would be having, not just an emotional breakdown but a wholesale crisis of identity and reckoning with the huntsman system itself. bc i think watching the whole show V1-8 in one go, while having very little in the way of preconceived notions about what the story would be, really made the incremental progression towards what’s going on in V9 a lot more visible. (<- i also rewatched it like four times in that time and kept noticing *more* of how well everything fits together. genuinely this is a really well-constructed story. so i have a lot of trust in the, like, intentionality of the narrative, that it’s going to follow through.)

but it’s been just. so so thrilling to SEE it actually, really happen. the narrative crescendo. ruby finally detonating her pedestal bc she can’t take it anymore and she’s a human fucking being. GOD. it’s so good.

also as far as neo goes, yeah i’d agree. for as different as they are they do have a lot of emotional similarity—ruby cornered on the huntress pedestal, neo both literally and figuratively silenced and abused bc she wasn’t the perfect daughter her parents wanted, there’s a very symmetrical experience here of cracking under the strain of a dehumanizing ideal. and i don’t think ruby cares about neo enough to have this bloody rampage of revenge against her that most of the fandom seems to be anticipating. the personal animosity isn’t reciprocal. as far as ruby is concerned neo is just a jerk whom her real enemies (cinder, salem) used as a pawn.

+ i think a bloody rampage at this point in the would be extremely tonally and thematically dissonant. when has this story ever reveled in violence? and ruby is at a point rn where she’s having severe trauma responses and shutting down every time there’s a fight. (she grabs for her weapon when the jabberwalker shows up, but then freezes—& in 9.7 it’s shown that she’s freezing bc she’s having panic attacks. like we see what was happening in her head in 9.1 & 9.5 while she watched wby engage the jabberwalker.)

like rwby has never been about stomping the bad guys into the curb. it’s a story about healing and compassion and escape from systems that enforce and necessitate violence. rip to all the bloodthirsty fans but that’s just not what the show is about.

#rwby v9 spoilers

[joleneghoul]

explaining references in my art pieces for fun part 1 (idk if i will do part 2 since this is just for fun.) under cut.

I want to start with a disclaimer that a lot of my art is based on the crazy shit in my own mind but a lot of that is grounded in stuff that has actually happened in canon because i actually do enjoy older canon at times lol. also this is just relation to canon stuff mostly I wont explain my whole flower language shit here.

I have a personal event document for canon events that only really diverges once it gets to Judgement Day etc etc.

Going to start with my piece that I call "Ripley and The 52" in my folder which is I guess the piece where I finally just said fuck it and went crazy.

There are a couple references to general comics but also booster and rip's arc in 52 ofc because that's what this piece is about. No Ted doesn't die, but their arc still happens (but a bit different).

First I'll address my constant use of nature in these works because the reason I do this (other than my own love for floral and insects) is mentioned within this arc. We have Mr mind who is this bug who is eating the multiverse essentially which is explained like a pest in a garden- only the garden is all of time and space and the flowers are everyone and everything whose ever existed and all their knowledge.

Since Ted is alive for this arc (I have other reasons to explain why Booster is acting the way he is) he plays his own part, this is mostly tech backup for Rip and Booster (as he is RECENTLY retired) and less physical stuff.

Basically threes a lot of Ted vs hating magic stuff as well. Time is a balance of both science and magic, and the magic side pisses him off a lot especially since this is one of his first experiences trying to handle that balance in awhile (especially not when dealing with Waverider). these bits are in reference to Ted. anyways while he's alive I did feel like paying homage to one of my favorite bits of that canon arc. They still use the scarab to fix Skeets and save time as I always loved the explanation that when things go randomly missing without explanation in the DC universe (as the scarab did) it's time travels fault.

I also thought "hey what if this is when we retrofit The Bug to do time travel" bc im silly like that.

Also since this arc has a lot of Mr mind you know I had to include the menace, this piece probably is what made me fall in love with him as a character. It is so funny to have cosmic beef with a worm.

The falling apart clock is actually a reference to Waveriders (diff Waverider- BUT i think it's funny he dies in issue 27 when that's how old my Waverider was when he BECAME Waverider.) death in 52 which while fucked up I always found so fun that it took place in a clock store. also check out that tiny bite taken out of the decoration of the Time Sphere lol.

We also have Hyperfly and the trail of planets he is eating that The Bug is flying through. sorry i made Hyperfly cute. There is also skeets in this piece who isn't actually Skeets but Mr Mind inside of Skeets. This is later the creation of Macromia.

Also What would this arc be without the iconic Booster faking his own public death and making himself pissed off as the Serious Super-Nova. (placed two stars next to them because they're both booster)

I also just threw in some other references to their adventures and antagonists in this piece with Starro, Waverider (though they have a minor part in this story itself), and in the paisley on the time sphere we have references to Chronos.

Which finally brings me to the hints at Rip's connections to Ted which start in this piece where he has a augmented clone of the BB-Gun Ted always uses. This is also shown in the "Jeff/Rip broken time" piece i did where Both the gun AND papers are strewn around labeled KORD industries. Unfortunately the writing on the papers in the final piece are impossible to see. Then the "back to the future" Parody piece with Ted and Rip is a reference to the name of the arc that introduces Rip to bg vol 1 lol.

I also want to note that my Rip wields both this gun and his Sword. I will get more into the sword later probably with future art but the Sword is magic and the gun is science based, another fun reference to the balance of time.

Anyways the whole point of this piece is that time gets broken and its in part Rip and Jeff's fault because you can't make a time machine without breaking a few timelines. Also a broken clock rip was gifted by his grandfather is a reoccurring visual metaphor in the actual Time Masters 1990 comic.

Also I will point out the clock is broken in this piece and rip has a wound on his head in the same spot the clocks broken. something something hinting at something.

Speaking of Jeff and Rip there are also a few comic easter eggs in the "Breakfast at the end of time" piece too. Not too many, just a mug that says 86 (when bg vol 1 and teds solo came out), and a tabloid that talks about Superman being missing and Mr Mind.

In the big Jeff/Rip peice i recently did that shows snapshots of their life together there is a reference to Time-1, which is Rip's Car in Time Masters 1990 as well as them in cowboy gear together because the issue that's Jeff centric in that series is based in the wild west (though that happens a lot different in my shit).

I also threw in a reference to Rip losing his eye when he's older because why not.

Finally my most recent piece "Cosmic Gardens" I'll explain the references because its yet another jumble piece lol. First we have all of the main time masters at least the ones that have roles in cosmic gardens (which is what i call the time masters story I'm working on for fun). Jeff, Jack, Tony, and Bonnie (Corky not included sorry Corky). Skeets is also there just because.

There is also a callback to the 52 piece with the wing of Mr Mind's hyperfly form which calls to the creation of Macromia during that event. 52 takes place in this Rip's future but his fathers pasts.

It's more difficult to explain this piece without mentioning non-canon stuff since most of these characters (including older Ted and Booster) are post divergence of the canon, even if these events actually take PLACE during that canon (time travel is a bitch).

I'm not sure yet how much I'd like to share regarding Macromia and the time gardens (all knowledge of time and space) or how her, waverider, and beetles are all connected in a way but i guess the easiest way to put it is that they're all essential to the ecosystem of this unthinkable place that exists in between the riverbanks of time.

Ted's part in the Vanishing Point VS Macromia's part in the gardens, Waverider's desires VS Macromia's oath, The existence of Rip as a paradox since birth, etc etc.

And while all these characters would think they're completely different they aren't and where does the next generation fall when all of this is happening and affecting them.

Circling back to Ted before I end this post I do want to also bring attention to these tiny details across my pieces like how in the "Back to the future" Ted and Rip piece, the stream of time connects to Vanishing Point which relates directly to Ted (and Rip, but Ted has a large part on how the Vanishing Point functions tech wise after Brainiacs help etc etc). You'll also notice the house on there looks a little familiar if you have a keen eye for unimportant details.

anyways this was fun to do lol!

#LONG POST.