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literaphobe · 4 years

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season 2 of she-ra rated by catradora content

the frozen forest: “aw, cute, you can turn your sword into stuff.” very interesting how adora has to literally train not by fighting any real soldiers in the horde just... catra. light hope scanned her brain and knew she wouldn’t bother to run after anyone else :/ which. is true. call her out!! she fights bots too but she has more or less no issues with them even though she’s no expert with turning her sword into stuff yet, but then catra comes out, and suddenly adora can’t even block a single punch because catra laughed at her :( AND suddenly her sword can’t turn into anything but a cup. why adora? are you thirsty? it’s even funnier because none of this is real, and adora KNOWS that none of this is real, but she’s still Affected when fake catra says her seductive “hey adora” and she decides oh i know! i’ll turn my sword into a d*ldo with holes! oh wait never mind, is that a flute? damn it now she wants to Serenade catra. that’s even gayer than wanting to have sex with her. “did you mean to do that? because if you did it’s a terrible weapon.” “is not! >:(“ adora’s comebacks are like. kindergarten quality shit. i would make fun of catra’s insult too but in her defense that’s not actually catra. so adora tries to hit fake catra with her musical instrument and it doesn’t really work so she tackles fake catra and pins her to the ground. and looks,,, low key aroused as she does it okay adora.... she’s not real please remember that.... ur already a furry please don’t also be a bot fucker “what are you waiting for? you gonna play me a song on that thing?” yes she WAS catra! that’s what i’ve been SAYING don’t be mean to your girlfriend when she’s trying to serenade you :( adora gets angry after this latest act of oppression so she raises her hand, about to hit fake catra, but she stops right before the weapon can make contact, and her face softens. “i knew you couldn’t do it.” fake catra fades and the audience finds out something adora already knew. none of this was real, and even if she had hit fake catra and killed her, real catra would be fine. And Yet,,,,, big fucking sigh bros. haha y’all ever so hung up on a chick that you can’t even kill a fake simulation of her? even though she’s your enemy? lmaoooooo anyway the training simulation ends and adora is so depressed she transforms out of her she-ra form and asks “did you have to make her so mean? :(“ even tho light hope is about to come out and yell gay slurs at her. light hope shows up and is very confused. is catra... not mean? was my catra ooc miss adora? :/ did this catra hit different? too hostile? not like what ur used to? :/ go to hell adora if you made catra into a sim and picked her defining trait it WOULD be MEAN god everyone’s a critic. and then adora is like ok ur right :( catra is mean.... but have you considered making your simulation’s fake catra one that will hold me gently in her arms? have you considered that maybe i don’t want to fight her and that i want to kiss her instead? god damn it light hope you bitch. you fucking homophobe.

light hope is like okay cool. this latest performance was ur worst one btw and adora is like why do you THINK and is like i wanna be the very best :( like no one ever was :( and protecc etheria :( “but catra, she’s just in my head” ;) oh yeah i bet she is adora JFJSJDJSJD “when you grow up with someone, they know how to push your buttons :(” that’s very true adora. but you also grew up with many people such as lonnie, rogelio, and kyle. and you don’t seem to give a shit about them :/ so i guess “grow up with someone” really means “be in love” huh. i love you but do NOT lie to me ever again. after this, we see the real catra :’) she’s back at the horde training kyle, lonnie, and rogelio. “she-ra is too strong to defeat with force alone. but she’s slow and easily manipulated.” yeah maybe for you! maybe she slows down when she fights you because ur pretty and ur voice is sexy! way to flex ur privilege :( not everyone can manipulate she-ra because she’s not in love with all of them ok :( just u :( later on, we’re back at the war meeting in bright moon. bow says “we’re defeating the bots, but more keep coming. while we’re using our resources to hold our borders, the horde hasn’t had to deploy a single soldier.” hey! that’s a perfectly normal statement right! one that does not mention any specific person. there should be no reason for anyone to respond to this by bringing up any individual. guess what adora says. guess what she fucking says. i’m so fucking done oh my god. “typical catra >:(“ did... did bow MENTION catfkakdjsjdjsjs????? i’m fucking WHEEZING. adora. baby. could u. like. chill out? :/ re catra? for like one second? no? okay guess i’ll have to live with it. adora is so hung up over the “hey adora ;)” she heard from fake catra during training that she has to repay the favor when she fights entrapta’s upgraded bots. adora looks into the camera of one of the bots and just. she just KNOWS catra is watching and she’s correct. and she’s like “hey catra ;)” before punching the camera and cutting the live stream. catra’s response isn’t to immediately ditch the horde and go kiss adora (booooooo) but to. try and explode she-ra using one of the other bots. okay. i guess we all cope with arousal in different ways :/ when the bot explodes and adora realizes her attempt at seduction did not work out the way she intended (press f to pay respects), she gets all “>:( catra” which is very cute and iconic of her. and it’s apparently her way of coping with the situation so i’ll just let her be! 9/10

ties that bind: fuck you swift wind. what the FUCK. i can’t believe adora had to go on some stupid quest with the horse all because she would be fiFTy sEVeN pERcenT mOrE eFFeCtivE with him. who gives a shit. catra getting kidnapped and tied up is clearly the superior plot here and adora wasn’t there for it?? which, i know is the whole point, but also, why did they have to put her with the horse. would’ve rather seen adora with literally any of the princesses instead. haha jk. but also, am i? it is important that adora gets over her hatred of swift wind and bonds with him. but also, is it? sigh, let’s get on with the show. bow and glimmer set out to go bring back entrapta. “let’s go get adora!” bow baby. u r so woke. i love that attitude. yes y’all should’ve absolutely brought adora along. no she was not doing anything important. “adora’s training!!!!” glimmer baby i love u but why :( why would u do this :( anyway, bow and glimmer get tricked into thinking the horde is torturing entrapta so they (accidentally) kidnap catra. bow is an absolute sweetheart who just. is sweet to everyone so he tries bonding w catra and is like “come on, i bet even the horde has friends. what about adora? :3 you two grew up together. what was she like as a kid? :3” because adora is bow’s best friend and he wants to know more about her <3 best boy <3 and catra just hisses at him because if she spoke she would probably say. adora was everything to me. adora made me laugh, she played with me, she took care of me, she protected me even when everyone else looked the other way. just seeing her would put a smile on my face. she held my hand. she hugged me. she was my shoulder to cry on. adora was the only good thing in my life at the horde. i have been in love with her my entire life. and now she’s she-ra. anyway. catra decides to annoy glimmer into letting her go, and glimmer gets so frustrated that she says “how did adora take years of this? she didn’t run away from the horde. she ran away from YOU” which. is about the most horrifying thing you could say to catra since she like. really believes that. and adora’s not even there to defend herself :( and say shit like. Well It Helped That I Was In Love With Catra And That Every Moment We Spent Together Was Filled With Laughter And Joy Because No One Else Has Ever Made Me This Happy Even When We Were Stuck Together In The Worst Place On Etheria—stuff like that u know? :/ anyway catra is like :’( —> >:’( “adora’s gonna dump u one day too glimmer!!” + “you and adora are perfect for each other, i’ll give you that. earnest, naive, ridiculously easy to manipulate. it’s adorable!” wow catra. u think…… adora…. is…. adorable? wow…. :’) djdjdjdjdjdj but yeah. she really said my gf is cute! my gf is earnest! and that’s pretty much it on the catradora front. notice how i didn’t say a word about the horse plot. yeah. :) i mean i physically couldn’t because this is a catradora based evaluation post. but ya. u get the point. 7/10

signals: huh! nothing! except when glimmer says “catra was right!” and adora’s face is like... u kno. u know how she gets when catra is suddenly brought up. 2/10 but the whole ghosts thing is cute. adora believing and wholeheartedly being scared of ghosts makes me think... catradora buzzfeed unsolved AU

roll with it: the absolute RIGHTS of this episode. adora planning obsessively because “you’re not taking the biggest variable into account :( catra </3 she’s been behind every horde plan, she led the attack on bright moon, she’s devious, she’s very cute—“ and everyone is like omg adora calm down,,,, okay fine we’ll fantasize about ur gf. so everyone is all: this is my catra headcanon <3 glimmer is like. catra is a sexy femme fatale. bow is like. catra and i would make so many sick fucking puns. and adora is like :( y’all are all headcanoning catra WRONG :( she’s sexy and funny and cute the Way She Is :( why mess with the original recipe? :( except she’s wrong because season 4 and 5 will exist one day. but she is not wrong because season 1-3 catra is also very good. adora u do u. have fun laughing at everyone’s interpretations of ur gf. go ahead and brag about how uve been in love w her ur entire life. adora is like. all ur plans suck. obviously catra would block or duck or jump up really high or look really cute or smile and dazzle u with her charms. how DARE you underestimate my enemy gf. and then everyone devolves into their cool plans again and adora is like CATRA CATRA CATRA >:( so everyone is like ok fine we are going 2 bully her. and we get this epic scene where they do impressions of catra, but it is visualized like: different versions of catra keep flanking adora, and she in that scene is clearly very seriously considering having a fourway with femme fatale catra, prom catra, and punny og catra. but in like uh.... a cool platonic way. anyway, everyone is like. hey adora. we know ur paranoid and obsessed with ur gf. but can we just attack the horde now? could you chill the fuck out? and adora is like. u wanna know the worst that could happen? fine. “i’m the heaviest hitter, so catra will separate me right away. trap me, take my sword, do Something so i’m helpless when she turns on you. she knows Everything about me, EXACTLY what i’ll do, EXACTLY how to take me out. they’ll overwhelm frosta and mermista with bots, they’ll fire on perfuma, and use her to draw bow out into the open, pinning him between the bots and the horde soldiers. glimmer will teleport in to save him, but she won’t have enough magic left to get out, trapping them both. catra will make me watch all of it before she Finishes Me Off.” which..... weirdly kinky, but okay, and also weirdly sweet if u think about it? like catra grew up thinking she was never as good as adora but adora even with her new she-ra powers now is convinced that catra is so good that she can predict and counter and overpower anything adora throws at her, even with her super-powered friends and allies <3 and she...... lets it paralyze her with fear and blames herself for anything that could possibly go wrong which is really sad and not good :( but stuff can be two things! and. we’re kind of trying to be gay here so let’s continue on the gay train <3 the princess alliance realizes that adora has major issues and give her love and support so adora is like oh nice!!! time to run in without a plan and stay true to my brute strength colors <3 and she’s so excited to see her gf..... only to find out, her gf isn’t there?????? the fuck???? she spent hours planning their fight date only to get stood the fuck up??????? she’s so distraught over it as she fights scorpia she goes through the five stages of grief. she’s like... catra’s really not here?? and she left you in charge???? and babe i get that ur jealous and upset that ur gf didn’t show up but hey :( don’t hate crime scorpia like that :( 8/10

white out: adora is upset that she hasn’t seen her enemy gf in a while so when the squad finds out that the horde is doing stuff in the north(?) adora decides that they must immediately go there in case the horde (catra) is doing stuff that she must stop the horde (catra) from doing immediately. and it works! they bump into the super pal trio! but before that, we see entrapta show catra the red disk that makes she-ra go RAGE and adora go floop. it’s basically a Make Adora Delirious/Drunk Crystal <3 catra gets an evil hate boner when she hears that the disk “takes away she-ra’s powers” and is like damn entrapta ;) why didn’t you tell me about that sooner ;) later on, the best friend squad bumps into the super pal trio! adora sees catra and is like. hey remember last episode? what the fuck was that babe. step the FUCK up. run away with me? <3 but here’s a more literal break down of what really happened: catra is threatening entrapta as she... tends to do when she’s interrupted by adora who says “catra! >:(“ completely ignoring that there are other people there who she should also greet. i mean it’s just manners u know? “it’s been a while.” is not an excuse. u haven’t seen entrapta either for an even longer time. and u had nothing to say to her? i get that ur gay and in love but have some respect okay :( catra is happy and decides it’s time to seduce her. we get yet another “heyyy adora ;)” for the books. adora starts to ignore everyone present again and banters pettily with catra about how catra lost the battle of bright moon, because you know :( she hasn’t seen her gf in a while :( and she didn’t get to rub things like that in her face :( and catra is like haha lmaooooo loserrrrr and it really pisses adora off so she’s like okay down to business then! go away >:( and catra’s like oh u want me to go away? make me ;) and so they literally. run away from everyone else. i’m not making this shit up they literally said those things and just ditched the group. and both groups, who have not said a fucking word to each other since this confrontation began because the lesbians are so fucking loud and clearly everything they discuss is personal and not an invitation for group convo, they’re all left there to be like..... i guess we should fight each other now? and scorpia is like UGHHH goddamn it. and u really feel for her u know? :/ u try and u try to ask a girl out and she’s so stupid she doesn’t know ur asking her out on a date, but her stupid ex walks in and all she has to do is run and catra runs in front of her ready to go on a date. what the fuck. anyway, catra and adora are also fighting. adora’s better at transforming her sword into stuff now so she summons a rope (ok kinkster) to grab catra’s leg and pull her towards her and she threatens catra with her sword, saying “don’t move.” catra’s response? “oh, please. you’d never have the guts.” and god damn it catra it’s not that she doesn’t have the guts! :( it’s that she loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you! and also she’s not into necrophilia! catra continues with “you know, as much as i love our fights, it’s way too cold for this.” i hate them so fucking much. they really do get off on this shit!!! i hate them but also mood!!!! stop flirting with each other ur both so goddamn annoying omg. “why don’t we try something new? ;)” yeah. something new like hmm what if y’all kissed? haha, just a suggestion! but no, catra decides to use the red crystal thingy :( haha SIKE i’m not :( at all i’m very much :) because we’ve been WAITING for drunk adora. i love that delirious baby. what a fucking cutie. but because she-ra’s sword is the one who gets poisoned, she-ra goes all angry and evil and catra is like that’s hot! but it’s not what i signed up for but also... oh lmao she’s fighting her friends? nice. this is hot again. complacently, catra goes “this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened!” causing evil!she-ra to realize she exists and trying to kill catra for real, and catra is like NEVER MIND I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS and she’s like “adora wait :(“ which is like. babe no :( babe u were supposed to turn evil in a sexy way :( we could be sexy and evil together baby :( babe :( thankfully for catra adora’s not the only one who has a crush on her so scorpia tackles she-ra, separating her from her sword, and she goes back to adora. catra gets the sword, laughs, and says “that went so much better than i could’ve ever hoped.” did it?????? ur so stupid ur gf was about to murder u and u were ready to simp for ur life. then she goes “looks like you’re mine now, adora. >;)” and like. lifts adora’s face up by the chin with the tail end of the sword. and. let me just take a deep breath here. uh. What The Fuck Is That. HELLO?????? why is that. okay. HHHHHH. why!!!! good god!!!!! i hate sexual tension. anyway, catra tells scorpia to carry adora inside bc adora’s not wearing enough layers and she doesn’t want her gf to get cold :( jk but uh, they get adora inside, and catra is once again obsessed with her. she sits right next to her and pines like “always so perfect.... look at you now.... (i HATE how sexual this sounds) you’re coming back to the horde under my command.....” like. COME ON. why is she like this. ur allowed to be evil but i draw the LINE at u flirting with adora she’s not even AWAKE. and scorpia is like. could u. could u not be obsessed w adora for one second? it’s kinda harshing my vibe :/ and catra is like hehe she ra go >:( haha funney. we can turn the rebellion’s own hero against them. That’s Good™ i wonder which of your friends i’ll have you annihilate first... and then she giggles to herself and it’s so cute but babe. once again. stop flirting with adora while she’s out cold she won’t be able to flirt back :( and then the most. upsetting part of the ep happens. catra LEAVES and makes scorpia watch over adora before adora even wakes up so we don’t get! to see! catra with drunk/delirious adora!!!!!! what the FUCK. what is the POINT. i am DISTRAUGHT. hello?????? why were we robbed. whatever. it’s still good but come on not even one scene? :( scorpia is annoyed as she should be and is like UGH just wanted to be alone with catra but nooooo im stuck babysitting her “”””””ex-best friend””””””” which we all know is code for just. ex. LMAO fkdkdkdk like this isn’t even reaching we BEEN knew. anyway adora is being. so cute. so goddamn cute i am in love. adora barely even remembers her name but when scorpia is like hm what’s the passcode to the lab? adora goes BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP and puts in catra’s super long fave number. that is so fucking cute that she knows and remembers that and thinks that catra would use it even tho she’s not even. in the right state of mind. and scorpia gets jealous obviously like ohhhh u know catra’s favorite number and i don’t! u grew up with catra and she’s been in love with you her whole life and i don’t have that! fuck u adora. even when u and catra are fighting each other tryna kill each other u can tell there’s a real bond there :( and like scorpia I’m so sorry baby I know :( they’re in love and it’s very annoying :( and i know adora is very annoying but have you also considered that she is very cute? that she is so lovely? and yeah that’s why catra is in love with her and shit :( seahawk and scorpia fight over adora and adora is like. hehe. catra mean <3 she’s so mean <3 and so hot and cute and sexy <3 omg im gonna marry her hehehehe <3 both sides reconvene to fight the bug, and adora finds glimmer vaguely familiar but doesn’t recognize who she is exactly. but she’ll remember catra’s long ass fave number. ok whore. catra, who’s also stupid, sees adora and is like guess I’ll drop all other priorities to get her! and tells scorpia to find the sword because she’s going after adora again. she’s so determined to keep adora that she.... catches a moving arrow. and throws it away. fjdjdjdjddj DAMN ok sheer gay determination is THAT strong huh. but it’s also sad because catra’s so busy fighting she doesn’t get to see adora being super cute :( it’s fucking wasted and not FAIR. catra thinks it’s funny that anyone would expect her to willingly give the disk up, because she’s got control of adora now, and control of adora means that adora won’t leave her.... which is not healthy :( but also HHHHHH but also it’s okay because their relationship gets healthy in the future and that’s very sexy of them <3 the disk is broken by scorpia in the end, and as adora regains.... conscious???ness????? idk??? her sense of reality??? sobers up???? anyway she and catra exchange this one last very heavy look, right before catra is grabbed by scorpia 9/10, except i want to take away so many points because of the wasted potential, but also i wanna add back so many points because of “looks like you’re mine now, adora ;)”

light spinner: ewwww shadow weaver ewwwww hordak i’m so sorry catra baby so sorry u had to interact with them instead of adora :( 0/10 </3

reunion: I AM SO SORRY. I AM SO FUCKING SORRY. THIS EP IS SO GOOD. BUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS. THIS IS ONLY BECAUSE THIS IS A CATRADORA EVALUATION OK. therefore the rating is.... is..... :( 0/10 :( i know i am distraught too. :( despite what a masterpiece it was... there was no catradora :(

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #yes hello welcome back to whatever the fuck this is <3 #yes i had to put the readmore in the middle. of the 2x01 evaluation #because. it was long. and i don't want the post to look so long on dashes #so please reblog it u guys <3 #i really loved all the replies on my s1 evaluation #i really hope y'all like this one too :(#if u think i am funny please tell me uwu #i love. to read tags #and asks and replies hehe #anyway have fun!

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mag7dumbies · 5 years

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Magnificent Seven (1960) warning heavy spoilers ahead

Okay, compadres you ready? I’m leaving a few things out cause some of it just doesn’t make sense but for the most part, I didn’t leave anything out so that means there is a lot of cursing so be prepared for that

(Okay I got cookies, plans to make popcorn later and the Seven stupidest men ever about to come on my screen yeehaw mfs)

(This theme song is a bop, Elmer Bernstein is a genius)

Huh wonder who’s the bad guy, can’t be the dude in red (haha jk he’s an ass)

“I’ll be back” (what is he the Terminator)

“Stupid” well yeah the guy running at you with a machete (?) wasn’t the smartest but you didn’t have to kill him

I actually love how everyone is wearing white (like yeah I know white doesn’t absorb sun well so that’s why) it just makes everything really picturesque and almost heavenly you know

All these guys have fantastic ideas about how to take care of the problem and the head honcho is like ‘really tricking the man who just shot one of our own is not going to work don’t be stupid’

“Let's go ask the old man” we about to get Godfather in this bitch

(It was a machete hell yeah I knew it)

“Buy guns?” “Go to the border guns are plentiful there” Dude that hurts but it’s very very true

(There are so many parallels to the pilot I love it)

We getting racist in this bitch and in rides, Chris like the suicidal idiot he is and Vin is just like I’ll help you go bury an Indian who deserves proper respects like the man we know and love (ugh love this)

Literally used his boot to light a match, Chris stop being extra

And the whole town is following them like it’s the best thing to happen since… I don’t know a herd of cows came through town… (Man aren’t we lucky for the internet)

Love how the second Vin hears a slur Chris is like hold your horses buckaroo it’s just the wind (cause apparently the wind is racist all of a sudden)

Who is this person following them like a puppy (Jd anyone, although I know that’s not his name in the movie but he sure is acting like it)

Well, the graveyard scene left two people bleeding and no other corpses than the one they started with. Larabee, Tanner, and Jackson should take notes

“We think you’re a man we can trust” Bitch I wouldn’t trust Chris as far as I can throw him (I love him but the boy doesn’t have a great track record)

What’s with the fuchsia bag did they even have fuchsia back then? (Apparently fuchsia came to America in 1892 so I don’t know)

“Every man wears a gun” “Sure, like wearing pants, its expected” good lord Chris

What kind of clapping game is this

I really don’t understand Craps

These guys are just mocking Vin about going to work at a grocery store and I’m living for it

And Chris you got three including yourself, Harry and Vin learn to count idiot

Those two just get off their horses with such grace I could watch that 100 times and still be entranced

“I heard you’re broke” “Nah I’m doing this because I’m an eccentric millionaire” (Good lord O’Reilly, he is now a new fave of mine)

What the fuck is up with Chris’s hips like why is he swaggering like some hotshot

And if O’Reilly is so expensive what the fuck did he do with the money to make him end up dirt poor and cutting wood

Britt has the longest, lankiest legs I have seen on a man in a very long time

What game were they playing bullets are expensive stop messing around

Oh no the kid’s drunk and mad wonder what the hell he’s gonna do (probably something stupid)

This bitch with his wacky accent I can’t take him seriously, he just needs to chill

Okay I didn’t mean for you to collapse

Chris just fucking left him on the floor good lord

Okay everyone needs to dial the sass from 150 to a nice steady 50 cause damn

The kid is so so stupid, and Harry is just as worried about him as Buck was it's sweet

“What a chucklehead” (good lord I feel that)

Wtf the kid just caught a fish with his bare hands (that might take him out of the running for being Jd who couldn’t catch a fish even if it was handed to him)

Okay the TV show is just full of idiots, the movie makes them out to be brilliant assholes and I don’t know which one I prefer

Okay who names their child Hilario like that just isn’t right (like it’s fine but it’s too close to hilarious for me to take it seriously)

The kid is such a fucking ass, can someone shoot him for me like fuck

(Guys just to keep you in the loop I’m not even an hour in)

Look its Lanky legs Mcgee (aka Britta filter aka Britt)

The kid needs a baby sitter

Surprise surprise the kid did something stupid, (no really I’m shocked, not)

Kid, don’t do it I know it’s a bull and bulls are cool but don’t be fucking stupid playing bullfighter

Kid, she did not try to take your eye out she just slapped you (well deserved I might add) and what do you mean you’ll bite back what are you doing

WTF KIDDO WILL YOU QUIT AND DRINK SOME RESPECTING WOMEN JUICE

She’s wearing pants- is that accurate

Vin is sipping that juice like a good boy

The boys are so sweet and it makes me emotional

The old guy is gonna die isn’t he

Here we go ya’ll it’s about to get serious

Seriously don’t throw a hissy fit cause Chris tells you to go away

Love that the guns seem authentic (makes me happy)

(Plus the horse actors are doing fantastic the trainers should be proud)

Kid what are you doing, that’s a good way to accidentally step on your hat

Oh fuck here we go again

Chico is literally going to get shot if he isn’t careful (Chico is the kid btw)

Oh God I love these kids “if you get killed we’ll avenge you and put fresh flowers on your grave” plus they drew straws (how is that not just the best thing you’ve ever heard)

Chico, the girl obviously likes you (don’t know why, you’re an idiot, but extremely cute just saying)

(I fucking HATE the new hat it fills me with rage)

Wait a diddly darn minute did Chico just infiltrate the gang with that stupid hat

Awww my poor boy nightmares are the worst

O’Reilly is such a Dad and I love him

Harry will you quit before Chris kills you or I do it myself

This better be the last time cause lord I just wanna see him dead

Chris looks like he’s gonna whack a bitch when Calvera says he’ll give him a pardon

Oh no Chico is gonna do something idiotic- thank god Chris is there

O’Reilly is adorable- and has some goddamn sense and is willing to use violence (spanking of minors which I don’t exactly approve of) to show that being a gunhand is coward’s work

“In Texas, only Texans can rob banks” wow did he just call our government and the whole state of Texas racist (yes I think he did)

Chico has some issues that he needs to see a therapist for (guess Chris will do though he needs about as much counseling)

By the way, Lee is the future Judge Travis if you guys didn’t know (Thank you Amazon- you might be all kinds of crap but hey at least you are informative)

Harry you dirty rotten coward

Here we go once more, my dudes

Vin get yourself taken care of and go home-

Harry that wasn’t helpful at all

Why is everyone getting hurt all of a sudden

Chris don’t lie to him it makes me feel bad

And stop breaking glass it’s hella expensive

Lee you stupid son of a bitch

This is a blood bath I don’t like it

Britta Filter NOOOOOOOOOOOO

I DON’T LIKE THIS GAME ANYMORE I DON’T LIKE THIS I DON’T LIKE THIS I DON’T LIKE THIS FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The old man lives wtf (I’m glad don’t get me wrong, but it still hurts my soul)

Three lived I don’t like this,

Chico, I swear to God you and her’s kids are gonna be adorable don’t fuck this up

Everything hurts

Well I’m in extreme emotional distress but you know I think I’ll be okay, now before we start with the show I gotta go water some plants- may be using my tears cause ow wasn’t expecting that ending

#magnificent seven (1960)#movie #i react #lee #harry #bernardo o'reilly #chris #vin #chico #britt #spoilers #so many spoilers #the magnificent seven 1960 #magnificent seven #m7 #mag7

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im-sexy-and-im-mystictrash · 7 years

Note

So I wanted to know how the rfa+v+saeran+ vanderwood would react to a young mc like 15-18 being pregnant like a teen mom *Plantonic relationship Sorry if you don't like this *Let's say they got pregnant by a boyfriend

Naw fam I love this, I love anything with babies or teen moms so Ight I’ll take a crack at it, lets see what we can do if it’s okay some of them are going to have the boyfriend not in the picture. Also it’s like 2 o’clock in the morning so any spelling mistakes are still propable my fault, I still have shitty spelling at any time

Yoosung

You weren’t that far along

only a tiny baby bump

So not being that far along you didn’t feel the need to tell them much

and then in the chat room you totally forgot you didn’t tell them

so you just

“Ughh the morning sickness is really getting to me again”

“Morning sickness? so you only get sick in the morning?”

“No that’s just a saying people use when the pregnant are sick”

…

“Pregnant?”

Oh yeah oops

“I totally forget that I didn’t say anything, Yeah i’m pregnant”

Yoosung has so many questions and then remembers

“Wait aren’t you in high school?”

“Yup”

…

“So you’re a teen mom?!”

“Yea”

He was so surprised

He’s never known anyone that’s been a mom so young

He had asked many questions and you answered all of them

but then he asked one that caught you off guard

“So are you and your boyfriend hoping for a boy or girl?”

“Well I’m not sure about him, he hasn’t talked to me for awhile…”

“WHAT?!”

He is furious

The dad doesn’t want to be there?!

“It’s okay MC I’ll be there for you!”

That just tugs at your heart

When you two met irl

ya’ll were stuck like glue

He stayed with you to help you

“MC would you like some more food?” Yes

He did

E V E R Y T H I N G F O R Y O U

“Don’t worry Uncle Yoosung is here”

Zen

You were trying to tell them that you couldn’t do the whole RFA thing because your due date was coming up soon

but they were so excited to do the party so you didn’t say anything

Seven obviously knew about it so you told him to say nothing

“Alright but I’m going to watch you like a hawk!”

So as the days went on you were pretty good and having fun

But it was when it came to the time that Zen broke his leg

You wanted to help so badly

but no one knew you were VERY pregnant

So while in the chatroom as the car was on it’s way to pick you up you just dropped it into the chatroom

“Can’t to see you”

“Me too! I’ll see you soon”

“Yup btw I’m 9 months pregnant bye!”

MC left the chatroom

Zen was freaking out

What if something happens on your way here?

And what would he do if your water broke while your were here?

your pregnant?!

*Ding dong*

OMG PREGNANT TEEN IS HERE WHAT DO I DOOOO

He opens the door for you and sees your very big belly

“MC get in here! what if the baby gets cold?!”

it was more like he was taking care of you then you taking care of him

He grew attached to you two

“Is this what it feels like to be a grandpa?”

“You’re not my dad Zen”

Also Zen refused to let you go back to the apartment

“You’re not going back while you’re going to pop any day now! I want nothing to happen to my grand child”

“Zen you’re not my…whatever yeah your grand kid”

Everyone agreed that you should stay with Zen for the remainder of the time

you were doing so good even getting many guests

until you were at the party

While stuffing your face at the food table your water broke

once he heard you screaming in pain he was running to you

“Don’t worry MC! Grandpa Zen will get you there safely!

He obviously didn’t go into the delivery room

But he was right beside you when your baby Boy/Girl was in your arms

“Zen would you like to hold your grandchild?”

He was in TEARS

Grandpa ain’t going anywhere

Jaehee

You actually didn’t know you were pregnant

You were only a few weeks

and you didn’t have a clue

Jaehee was the one that suggested it when you told her about you being sick and wanting really weird food, being really moody

“Jaehee I don’t know what’s going on”

“Aren’t you pregnant?”

…

“haha..”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes”

…

“OH MY GOD”

You get a pregnancy test and low and behold

Boom

Lil MC in progress

You were so scared

“Jaehee I can’t have a baby! I’m only in high school!”

She was a bit started about your age

but

“MC I may have known you for very few days but I know you’re a very strong woman, you can do this!”

Awww shedding a few tears

She helped you through the whole process

She ordered Seven around so you got all the things you needed

You could have left to get the things you needed

but nope

Momhee ain’t havin it

“You’re staying in the apartment we don’t want anything to happen to you”

“Seven get her medicine for her morning sickness”

“Yes ma’am

“Seven watch to make sure she’s eating those veggies”

“But those are gross”

“Seven you’re getting her the fucking vegetables”

“Spare me yes your highness”

Seven was forced to go back and forth to take care of you in place of Jaehee

He was too scared to find out what she would do if he didn’t do what said

and when you two met?

She was even more protective

Made sure you did your homework

more healthy food

but she did it because she cared about you like her own daughter

“Jaehee you’re the best mom ever”

“But I’m not-”

“shhh Just let it happen”

Jumin

You were about 5 months along

So you had a belly

but it only made you look chubby

Which effected you greatly

“Jumin am I fat?”

“I’ve never met you in person so I don’t know”

“Oh my god you think I’m fat!”

“what? no I didn’t-”

“Well you’re fat!”

“No I’m within healthy range for my age and height”

“Oh rub it in why don’t cha! well you’re not 5 months pregnant!”

…

“Mc you’re pregnant?”

“Yeah! so I’m not fat!”

“MC I never said you were fat”

He had you brought to his penthouse sooner so you could get the best care

“I refuse to let you be alone without proper care”

So while being there the whole time you had whatever you wanted

you might or might not have worked the maids to death

You were queen

“I want ice cream”

“Yes ma’am”

“Get me someone to rub my feet, they hurt”

“of course”

“Bow and kiss my feet!”

“…”

“Sorry I was kidding Maybe”

When it came to the party he kept you by his side

And even after the party he took care of you

“Jumin you would make a great godfather”

He was so touched

He was there for everything

But you refused to let him in the delivery room

When he first saw your child he practically claimed him/her

“Make arrangements that this child will take over the business once he/she is 18″

“Jumin!”

“Make it 20″

Saeyoung (Seven)

you were 707 months along

I might have done that on purpose

He didn’t really think everything through

“It’s okay for her to do this as long as I watch her every 1.33 seconds”

Vanderwood was PISSED

“Stop watching this pregnant teen and do your work!”

LE GASP

“Uncle Seven can’t not take care of Them! what is WRONG with YOU!”

work was basically thrown out the window

Speaking of windows

*enter unknown through the window*

He also didn’t think things through by making a pregnant teen as a victim

Eh whatevs

*now enter agent 707*

“MC is the baby okay?!”

“What about me you asshole!!?”

“oh yeah are you okay? hopefully the baby didn’t get hurt”

You damn near slapped the boy

but it was sweet he cared

Again he stayed at the apartment for you and did basically everything for you

He also read up everything about babies

“omg MC did you know babies swallow and breath at the same time!?”

“Saeyoung you better not try that”

Too late

But besides all the silly stuff

He truly cared about you and the baby

He called himself Uncle seven every chance he could

“Agent 707 get back here to work!”

“Excuse you, it’s UNCLE agent 707″

“I swear to god I will taser you”

He took care of you even when you two went to save Saeran

“Saeran you have to come back you’re an uncle now”

“I’m an uncle? cool lets go”

By the time the baby was born

Both Saeran and Saeyoung were there for you

But Saeyoung tried to name the baby while you were asleep

“Saeyoung is this a good idea? I don’t think MC would like this”

“Shh Saeran this is the Job of an uncle”

“I name thee…Little defender of justice”

Que you waking up just as he’s about to sign the birth certificate

“SAEYOUNG”

“Shh MC just let it happen”

Jihyun (V)

It was THE day of joining the RFA that your water broke

“Ah Seven?”

“Hmm what can god seven do for you”

“Do you think you can take a look at the CCTV?”

…

“OMG MC I’LL BE RIGHT THERE”

No one could no the location

but seven didn’t want to be alone

so he brought V

They both show up as your clutching your stomach in pain

“ABOUT FUCKING TIME YOU’RE HERE”

“MC don’t swear in front of the baby!”

“Um Seven I don’t think that’s helping MC”

V was holding your hand the whole way to the hospital

Seven had to get back to work

so V stayed with you

“You don’t have to help RFA we’ll understand”

“No I want to help! I just need a little bit of help…”

Done and done

V had given up all his time to be with you

you stayed with him

He was actually really good with babies

did you need sleep because you were up with the baby all night?

“Here I’m take care of the baby, You go get sleep”

Ran out of baby diapers?

“Stay here I’ll take care of it”

Dude He probably forgot about Rika

He was spending to much time helping you

and he really liked it

it might have been just to thing he needed to help him heal

“Jihyun would you like to be the godfather?”

He was so happy

He went and got the surgery so he was at his peak to help

“I would be honored”

Saeran

You had met after the whole mint eye thing

so Saeran was still very damaged

he was away from it all

but he felt like he was missing something

Then you walked into the picture

well you walked into him

you were a troubled teenager that had a pretty crappy home life

He was about to yell at you for running into him

but his eyes widen when he saw you holding your stomach in pain

“Help me?”

He took you to the hospital

and he thought it was his fault about what happened so he stayed to make sure you were okay

The doctor said the baby was okay

that this pain was normal and should go away

you knew nothing about babies and being pregnant

You broke down when Saeran asked of you were okay

“I don’t know anything about being a mom! I’m all alone!”

you didn’t have any family

and the dad bailed

He didn’t know what but his heart went out to you

“I can help”

He can’t believe he said that

“You will?”

“Well…I can try”

and sense then you two became friends

He would help you and you would help him

he looked up everything about babies

and he went strictly by the books

“MC it says here you shouldn’t be eating this much”

“Seriously saeran?”

…

“Yes?”

Saeran wanted to help you by his self

so he didn’t ask seven for anything

and he didn’t need seven

although he was scared himself

he did pretty well taking care of you

When the baby was born he was so scared that you wouldn’t need him anymore

“saeran where are you going? The baby is going to need his/her Uncle

He had never felt this way

or felt this needed

He was very happy to call himself an uncle

*saeyoung walks in*

“Get out don’t come near him/her you’ll corrupt him/her with your idiocy

*saeyoung walks out with tears

Sorry I forgot you Vanderwood

Vanderwood

You were a family member from his past

so he had no idea that you were 8 months pregnant

The due date was just around the corner

and you were trapped in a cult leader’s apartment

no big deal

Vanderwood didn’t like you because

1.You were distracting Seven from work

2.He had no idea it was you yet

So he would come to the bunker to collect Seven’s work

only to find that it’s not done

…

“Seven why the hell is your work not done?!”

“Hmm? babysitting”

Vanderwood is ready to roast his ass

“You can’t even take care of yourself and you’re babysitting?”

“I’m hurt Vanderwood…I’m hurt”

*takes out taser*

“Whoa whoa lets not get hasty here, I’ll get the work done if you help me watch over her”

…

“You want me to watch over some girl?”

Seven scoffs

“Oh my gawd Mary it’s not JUST a girl”

“It’s a teen girl”

That like set off read flags in Vanderwood’s head

“A teen girl?”

“Ya and pregnant

RED FLAGS RED FLAGS

“You need to be put in jail”

Seven busts out laughing

“Oh you naughty Mary you, I only father to all cats of the world, She just stumbled upon us.

Totally done with seven’s shit and just wants him to get his work done

He watches you

he looks into the CCTV

to see you with yo big ol’ baby bump

and then he sees your face

GEE

“what the hell is my Niece doing in there?!”

Seven drops his pop to the floor

“SHE’S YOUR NIECE?!”

“YES YOU MORON GET HER OUT OF THERE”

“But-”

“so help me god if you don’t get my niece out of that room I will taser you till you fry”

…

“One niece coming right up!”

He picked you up and took you to his bunker

“Seven why are you bringing me to your place?”

“So I live”

You both arrive and once you see Vanderwood

Total tear fest

you and him haven’t seen each other in years

“MC why were you trapped in the apartment?”

“Seven put a bomb in it”

…

“SEVEN!”

He’s probably already on his way to mexico

You stay at the bunker with him

He took care of you

even after you gave birth you too stuck together

He wasn’t going anywhere ever again

Master list of my headcanons

Ray’s headcanon

#mystic messenger #my headcanons #mystic messenger headcanon

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