#*edit: this was in my drafts for a long time and i've been fucking w this playlist so it doesnt start w just a girl anymore

[el-im]

#trek #captain's log #best parts: 1. starting off with 'take this pink ribbon off my eyes / i'm exposed and it's no big surprise' #and (nearly) ending with 'hand me a blindfold / i can't bear to watch anymore' in m'aidez #(moving from too nervous to go on away missions to being ashamed of the part she took in the xindi mission when the whole crew's moral #compasses were tossed out of the airlock after they entered the expanse) #*edit: this was in my drafts for a long time and i've been fucking w this playlist so it doesnt start w just a girl anymore #so that you have a pre-joining ent narrative #(dreaming/the tide is high is supposed to be about when she was working as a professor in rio/archer recruiting her) #but still.... just a girl is up early. lmao. #2. the fact that i put 'the oldest established (permanent floating crap game in new york)' on this. and then took it off. and then put it #back on. and then took it off. and then put it back on. and then #3. this must be the place. i really love this song in its own right but it's so popular that i have a hard time using it bc i think it's #generally overused but... i love the idea of hoshi coming around to space travel+enterprise becoming her home. i love her realizing that #she's become comfortable in a place she used to find confining and frightening #theres a lot of kate bush in this but i LOVE them heavy people as a hoshi song. reminds me of 'exile' which is one of my favorite ent eps #and one of very few where hoshi is in a central role. #it's just so absurd + it has the same overtures of 'alien presence entered my otherwise small and private life without warning' as the song #i just think it fits really well #its not perfect and ill probably still fuck around with it a lot even though im publishing it #but really i only do this bc i like to keep my playlists in my tags for them #which for hoshi is here #hoshi #also love the visitors on here. its just fun. groovy baby!!!!

[bettsfic]

Betts,

Would you be comfortable in showing us what your messy first drafts look like? Not for a whole story but maybe an excerpt and noting how it changed in revisions. I’ve been looking for first drafts by writers and either found they look almost identical to finish printed version or I can’t find them at all.

i can show you what a messy first draft looks like but i don't think it'll be very illuminating. for me, the down draft is mostly about developmental work. i'll write ten scenes and the final draft will be chunks from six of them. so on a small scale it looks like i don't do much editing, but big picture i write over twice as much as i end up keeping, and what i keep has usually been completely rewritten. so if i do a side by side comparison of a scene, what you're not seeing is the stuff that didn't make the cut, or all the ways i wrote in the wrong direction for a long time, or the hours of research i had to do for a single detail (an example of which you'll see below).

i wrote an issue of my newsletter about my drafting process, so that might be more helpful. i also answered an ask recently about ways to develop a scene if you're stuck.

unfortunately i don't have the brainwidth to do all the research here, but the new yorker published an early draft of raymond carver's "what we talk about when we talk about love" which as originally called "beginners," and somewhere there's a detailed comparison of the two and the changes his editor, gordon lish, made.

but! you asked to see a draft comparison. so here's a draft comparison.

so this got a little crazy and i ended up making a gdoc for scene 2 so you could see them together. see link at the bottom. conclusion: comparing drafts is very hard and i don't think this probably helps at all but i tried.

"final" draft

these are the first two scenes of a short story i wrote called The Group W Bench. we begin in 1970 and then move into present day-ish. i've bolded the small things that were actually big things, and i'll explain why they were big things at the end.

"final" is in quotes because there is a different final draft of this story that goes in a completely different book.

scene 1: past

They didn’t hand out 4-Fs in St. Louis. Supposedly it was the worst draft office in the country. I didn’t know anyone who’d gotten out of it, but in my hometown they didn’t seem to want to. Most everyone was proud and eager to get shipped off.

My number was 66 and it’d been pulled just after I turned nineteen. On the bus to the induction center, I tried to come up with a plan. My only options seemed to be mutilating myself or flat-out running. I was too much of a coward for the former and I couldn’t wrap my head around the latter. There were only a dozen of us on the bus and I had my whole seat to myself. Out the window, cornfields blurred past; it was August and the stalks were head-high. I tried to imagine myself out in the jungle holding an M16, but I couldn’t. I’d graduated high school with a C-average, only kissed one girl one time, was raised by parents who’d had no parents of their own. My mother grew up in an orphanage. My father rode the rails. They fucked up my brother Tommy, did a little better with Wyatt, but by the time I came along, they’d given up. Sometimes I felt feral, raised by wolves.

Across the aisle, a guy was playing the harmonica. He had shaggy black hair and stubble around his jaw, big nose bent at the bridge. He caught me staring at him and I looked away quickly. He crossed the aisle and sat beside me. 

“You look like you don’t want to be here,” he said.

He didn’t sound like he was from Missouri. He sounded like an actor on TV, all hard Rs and round vowels. I didn’t respond to him. For all I knew he was a plant, some kind of spy trained to sniff out potential defectors.

He ran his thumb over the shiny surface of the harmonica. The movement reflected the sun into my eyes. “Buddy of mine got his arm blown off.”

“My brother died,” I told him. I’d been the one to answer the door that day. I was only sixteen and the boy who delivered the telegram couldn’t have been much older. He handed it over, touched the brim of his hat, and said, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

There were no remains. Nothing to bury. Just a bit of yellow cardstock telling me Tommy was dead.

“Sorry to hear that, man.” He held out his hand. “Jack Ward.”

I shook it. “Birdie Mills.”

Jack smiled, a deep dimple carved into each cheek. “Hell of a name, Birdie Mills. Where you from?”

“Here. Couple hours north.”

“California. Riverside.”

“What’re you doing here?”

“Just got out of film school. Can’t get student deferment anymore. So I started bouncing around, you know, changing my address. They finally pinned me down.”

I hadn’t thought of that, transferring draft centers, delaying as long as possible hoping the war would finally end. It was a relief to meet someone as reluctant to go as I was. I felt crazy sometimes, surrounded by men who wanted nothing more than to die for their country. I couldn’t imagine loving anything so much I’d be willing to give my life for it.

“You have a plan?” I asked.

“Nope.” We turned into the induction center lot. “I’m gonna wing it.”

early draft

according to my document, i wrote this on november 8, 2022, so almost exactly a year ago. at that time, this was one chapter of a novel that had alternating POVs in third person. i had about 90k of this novel written. which turned into a short story. which turned into a different novel.

scene 1

Birdie’s number was 257 and it was pulled shortly after he turned nineteen. His draft office was in St. Louis, notoriously one of the worst in the country. There were no 4-Fs in St. Louis. He didn’t know a single man who’d gotten out of it, but then again, they didn’t want to. Most everyone in his town was eager and proud to get shipped off. 

On the bus to the induction center, he tried to come up with a plan, but nothing came to him. Out the window, cornfields blurred past; it was August and the stalks were head-high. He tried to imagine himself out in the jungle holding an M16, but he was just a coward from Missouri who graduated high school with a C-average, who had only kissed one girl one time, who was raised by parents who’d had no parents of their own. His mother grew up in an orphanage. His father rode the rails. They fucked up Tommy, did a little better with Wyatt, but by the time Birdie came along, they’d given up. Sometimes he felt feral, raised by wolves.

Across the aisle, a guy was playing the harmonica. Birdie couldn’t pull his eyes away from him. He had shaggy black hair and stubble around his jaw, big nose bent at the bridge. He caught Birdie staring at him and kept his gaze, some recognition in his eyes, and a moment later he was slotting the harmonica into his jacket pocket and coming to sit next to Birdie.

“You look like you don’t want to be here,” the guy said.

Birdie didn’t say anything. For all he knew, the man could be some kind of spy trying to sniff out defectors. 

“Buddy of mine got his arm shot off.”

“My brother died,” Birdie admitted.

“Sorry to hear that, man.” He held out his hand. “Jack Ward.”

Birdie shook it. “Birdie Mills.”

Jack smiled, a deep dimple carved into each cheek. “Quite a name, Birdie Mills. Where you from?”

“Here,” Birdie said. “Couple hours north.”

“California. Riverside,” Jack offered. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Just got out of film school. Can’t get student deferment anymore. So I started bouncing around, you know, changing my address. They finally pinned me down.”

Birdie hadn’t thought of that, transferring draft centers, delaying as long as possible hoping the war would finally end. It was a relief to meet someone as reluctant to go as he was. He felt crazy sometimes, surrounded by men who wanted nothing more than to die for their country. 

“You have a plan?” Birdie asked.

“Nope,” Jack said, pulling his harmonica back out. They were turning into the induction center lot. “I’m gonna wing it.”

changes and why i made them

lotto number 257 was pulled in 1970 but only numbers under 125 were drafted. it took an entire afternoon to figure out how the selective service lotto even worked.

turning this into a short story, the sentence "They didn’t hand out 4-Fs in St. Louis" was a stronger opening.

as a chapter in a book, at this point the reader is familiar with birdie and knows him only as a scoundrel-type character seen from the perspective of his son who despises him, and his daughter who reveres him. so in the old version, it was satisfying (or intended to be) to get to his POV and see him from his own perspective. as a short story, i tried to organize the opening in such a way that you get grounded pretty quickly and see birdie as a scared kid before you get to the scoundrel days (see below).

the brief "my brother died" flashback was the first part i wrote in his POV, and that was back when the structure of the narrative was a series of short, titled vignettes. so on one hand i was glad i got to keep it but sad i had to shoehorn it into a different scene instead of allowing it to open the piece.

the novel was written in third person but when i tackled it as a short story i decided to change it to first person because i like first person better, and birdie is a very fun narrator.

the "I couldn't imagine..." sentence was added in the short story version because in the present timeline, birdie's about to get shot to save his daughter while they're robbing a bank together. so in one sentence, i managed to condense an arc that before took a VERY long time to establish.

this got kind of out of hand. i tried to do the same thing with scene 2 but it was hard in the text window so i did it side by side in a google document. if you want, you can add comments asking why i did certain things and i'll answer you there. i'm sure i missed stuff.

sorry if this isn't helpful!

#writing advice #bk #rabbit's blood #revision

[bluewinnerangel]

right back at ya cowboy

Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft

[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]

Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.

Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.

I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D

But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.

ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?

ramble out.

[wlfpet]

wip list! longpost with a poll!

(divider - animatedglittergraphics-n-more)

currently have 20 reqs, trying to fill older ones first, but it mostly depends on which ones interest me the most at a certain time! Working on shorter ones tonight, but there are some longer ones I want to explore deeper! Here's a peek at some oneshots/requests that I plan on releasing, as well as some longer fics I have planned! And because I like to have fun here, you can choose which one you want released first!

not specially ordered or anything ;w;'

ONESHOTS/LONGFIC

(will be around the length of Morale Adjustment at minimum, or longer)

ABBY ANDERSON

THE Bespoke Abby Breeding Fic - TITLE: TOP DOG. Yes, the one I swore I would post like a week ago. It's super long and initially didn't have an intro so I've been working on it on and off. Partially in bulleted format, transitions to standard OS format after. 3k+ words. breeding, rough sex, blowjob/titjob, unprotected sex, creampies (lol), abby kinda babytraps reader. source universe, abby is slightly older than in canon (23-24ish), reader is younger (19-21?) and the wlf has actual ranks (translated: I looked up military rankings on google and started bullshitting) I wrote this on my period (translate: I'm a gross whore) abby is kind of mean but it's hot, get slutty about it. 90% completion. Has three (much shorter and more experimental) parts.

'You wanted to be wanted this way. To be desired and used completely, to be owned.'

The Bespoke Pornstar!Abby Fic - TITLE: XXX/RED LIGHT. The reader is a new rising star in the world of lesbian porn. One night, before your first anxiety-ridden scene, your costar arrives at your trailer to calm your nerves. Abby is the industry's top adult performer, practically the girl-on-girl bible famous for her rough, bad girl persona on stage, and her soft interior. You're given the persona of sex kitten; innocent, naive, and ready for the plucking, and in your first scene, her job is to break you in. Perhaps multiple parts, 3k+ words. Ellie is going to make an appearance as a 'rival' AV Performer, (but off camera her and Abs are good friends) who you'll have a later BD/SM scene with. Extremely rough draft, so no content tags yet.

"I'll do all of the work, baby. Just look straight in the camera and give your fans a pretty face to get off to."

The Bespoke Prisoner!Abby Fic - TITLE: DOIN' TIME (or something corny like that, we'll see.) When you're new in prison, they always tell you, go up to the biggest guy in the room and punch him in the face. Terrible advice, by the way. But when you're locked up on a misdemeanor and sent to a women's correctional facility, the rules are a bit different. So you find the biggest girl in the room, and you fuck her. Obviously. Extremely rough, no content tags. 3k+ words.

'Abby offered a deal; she gave you what you wanted, and you gave her what she wanted.'

The Bespoke and Formerly Scrapped College!Abby Fic - TITLE: PAPI BONES. Your roommate Dina drags you to a college frat party, and you hate it, all crowds and sweat and people. You wish you were home, but in a cruel twist of fate, a drunken game of spin the bottle turns into you, face to face in a dark closet with the captain of the rugby team and her head between your legs. studious!reader, jock/loverboy!abby, assplay, cunnilingus (r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving), primal!adjacent? i wrote in my editing notes, 'almost corruption, but pure?' so let that set the tone for you. potential part 2. Actually 90% complete, I just started beating myself up about it for no reason ;w;

"“s’okay baby, tell me how you want me. i’m yours.” and you thought that declaration would destroy you, ‘i’m yours.’  and it felt very, very real."

MINIFICS/DRABBLES (No poll for these because they'll all make it to the blog at some point)

ABBY

Bimbo!Reader x Abby Anderson (Mechanic!Abby? idk. She makes good money and reader is spoiled asl though.) dumbification, rough sex, there's a scene where reader sucks abby's strap while she's chewing bubblegum and licks the splattered gum off so there's that, spanking, face slapping, abby calls reader her fleshlight. partial HC/blurb format?

Semipublic sex with abby in her bedroom window

A/B/O WW Abby, breeding, half wolf!reader. she mounts and rawfucks you with her massive monster cock while you're in heat. primal, marking, too big cock/stretching pussy, mindbreak, impregnation. 2-2.5k.

ELLABS

Abby and Ellie are members of a rock band, you're a groupie and you'll do anything to get on the tour bus...

Abby and Ellie are both bad cops when it comes to training you, and they help the other keep you in line.

"Didn't she tell you to fucking behave?"

ELLIE

bully!ellie, dubcon/CNC esque? ellie steps on readers cunt with her boot. pussyslaps, knifeplay, degradation, she is not a nice young lady. 1.5-2k words.

dealer!ellie headcannons

ellie blasphemy kink oneshot

DINA/DINELLIE

Roommate dina corrupting innocent!reader. Somno, caring dom!dina, dina has a hairy pussy because I said so, dina takes reader's virginity with a dildo, sloppy makeouts, flashback of dina 💦 to the sounds of reader masturbating while thinking dina is asleep, Dina has big boobs and playfully does a cute boob comparison and plays w readers titties. this one might actually get pushed up because I'm thinking nasty ***** thoughts. you bump coochies with dina, that's the fic.

Your friend Dina takes you over to her sneaky link, and the campus dealer, Ellie's house. Unbeknownst to you, they invited you over to score in another way, too. dom!ellie, soft dom! dina, sub!ellie. drug use, strap on penetration, voyeurism, cunnilingus, cum swapping, mutual strap sucking, mutual masturbation.

yeah... that's all i got for you babies. enjoy.

#tikis wip list! #tiki writes #this is going on the masterlist i will make one day in my life.

[promisinininining]

hello :3c all questions with the number 3 ( :3c ) in them, my good friend mis! :3c

Admittedlty, I started this. I shall accept my punishment with grace (💖).

Disclaimer here that there will be references to nsfw under the cut because I peddle smut. There's also a brief mention of vomit in a snippet I share.

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic I write on my phone mainly, and I like to be curled up in a nest of some kind and comfy when I open up my Big Doc of Ideas and start typing. if it gets long enough (~1k words) I move it into its own doc. I reread constantly when I write, and often times I just sit and stare at a sentence until my brain clicks on. It also helps to bounce ideas off friends as I'm working, if I feel my steam running low. Otherwise I get into Da Zone and everything else disappear.

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow? Ah. Hm. I don't actually know many "common" tips. I find a lot of them not very useful, like "write every day" just leads to burnout. I suppose there's this: sometimes, when you write yourself into a corner and don't know how to continue, go back a little bit further and try a new direction. Still Stuck? When I don't want to write a scene I simply don't and move on. Sometimes you never have to go back. It's fine. It wasn't that important anyway.

23. Best writing advice for other writers? ARE THE TIPS NOT GOOD ENOUGH? Okay Fine. Write what you want. Write weird shit, write horny shit, write stuff that disgusts and uncomfortablises people. Write the stuff that interests you rather than what you think other people would like. I made a promise to myself when I stepped back into fandom, and that was that I wouldn't be ashamed of anything that I liked anymore, and it's been an absolute blast. (Coming back up here after a few questions) WAIT- When you don't know what to do, ask yourself, what would be sexiest? and go with that. Never fails.

30. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? I'm happy sharing rough drafts. I tend to edit as I go so the top of my docs always end up pretty polished as opposed to the endings... shhh. I don't tend to share much of rough drafts in public, though, some friends get basically the entire thing through screenshots, lol. I can't resist okay! I'm excited about what I'm writing! I can't keep it all inside!

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing? Characters, definitely. Most of my stories are character-driven, and plot tends to happen around them, even aus are usually 'well what if they were brought up in THIS environment?' and whatever happens to them grows around what the consequences of their actions. I'm not very good at longfic and a lot of my fics are oneshot character studies so :Va Not that I'm saying I'm bad at what I do, plot is just not my priority! I Find characters, their relationships, and their personalities more fun to explore! (<- was raised on the Tales Of games)

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers. Fuck, okay. Well it probably doesn't surprise you that I make friends thru fanfic so I have a lot of writer friends and I don't LIKE to pick favs, simply because I don't think of them that way. That would be weird. Additionally, I only really read stuff my friends write nowadays ;w; I'll name the people who I've reached out to over completely losing my shit over their fics instead, in order of meeting them: Elcie/BurningLio, Bee/println0/slothencholy, Mango/MalevolentMango (and here, an honourary mention of Ailem for appearing alongside Mango though I hadn't read any of its fics until after we had become friends).

33. Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer? Sure. I don't see myself stopping any time soon.

34. Do you want to be published some day? (yes I swapped 33 and 34 by accident so sue me) Eeehhhh, as someone who writes mostly erotica I don't reaaaally see any of my stuff being published by any mainstream publishing houses. I certainly WANTED to when I was younger, and it would certainly be cool, but it's not something I am persuing or even have an interest in persuing.

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?  They gotta be as hot as possible.

36. How do you write kissing scenes? Okay so disclaimer, I've been writing fanfic for a VERY long time. I was on the internet before I should have been. My parents didn't speak english very well, and stuff like google translate didn't even exist (rather, it did, but it wasn't very good). I was ten, and I asked Google sensei how to write kisses, and the first result took me to a yahoo questions page where the answer was something like, describe how they feel instead of the kiss itself. I then deleted my history because I was not a stupid child. I remember that advice to this day.

37. How do you choose where to end a chapter? I uh. Write oneshots. I end it where the story ends. Hope this helps :)

38. Would you ever write commissions? Yes but nothing too long. I've been meaning to open up writing commissions for literal years but I KEEP getting too sick to be able to dedicate the time it deserves to run commissions.

39. Share a snippet from a WIP Huff okay. This should be shiny and new for even you, Mango.

"Akechi-" "I'm fine," Akechi grits, spitting more acid onto the ground before he finally straightens and wipes a sleeve over his face. Akira doesn't even try to hide his expression when Akechi deigns to face them again. He states the fact plainly. "You're not fine." "Don't try to tell me what I am or not," Akechi sneers in return. He's clutching at his stomach despite his nonchalance, and a grimace clings to the edges of his pissed off expression. Akira rolls his eyes. There's no point arguing with Akechi on a good day, never mind when he's defensive and scared of being benched. They don't exactly have a choice to keep Akechi in combat as there are only three of them, and Kasumi is completely new to this kind of palace exploration. He may not be Futaba, but he has the most experience in the Metaverse by far; he's observant, meticulous, and his ability to memorise the attributes of new shadows is impressive. Akechi really had been holding back on them in Sae's Casino, and Akira isn't stupid enough to let that kind of usefulness go to waste.

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person? lmao. do i even need to answer this?

53. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both? I'm primarily a writer. I used to read a lot but I have a hard time reading anything nowadays. I need to be doing something or else I'll EXPLODE. KABOOM. No more mis. splat like watermelon.

63. Something you hate to see in smut. I hate it when the author takes their time to write 'btw this is pure good non fetishistic sex' through the characters. It's ridiculous. I'm here for a good time not to get lectured on what safe sex is. If the reader needs to be told what consent is, I'd argue that they aren't old enough to be reading it.

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? Brother I do not know. I kind of fly by the seat of my pants. Lich Rally Just Vibin.

#YAHOO DONE #malevolentmango #mis-types #also some #mis-takes #postmoogling #tumblr has a bug where the read more moves down a block of text upon clicking edit #cool

[natrome]

ok now that i for real know what my writing commitments are going to be for the next, like, year, at least the majority of them, here is the actual for real i s2g hold me to this writing schedule

Fic in a Box - due 10/15

1 assignment of 2k words remains, write it this saturday

Five Figure Fanworks Exchange - check in 11/11, due 1/20

i expect this will take about a week to finish, and ideally i'll have it done prior to check-in.

Yuletide - works due 12/18

UNLESS i get an assignment that i want to go hogwild on, which i should be prevented from doing, i should be able to finish this the week of 11/26 and not work on it outside of that.

galactic santas - est. due 12/25

my fave event of the year lol, the logh secret santa exchange. uh anyway this one is usually due around christmas and also is the easiest thing on this list by a mile and a half. i'm 0% worried about this one.

tomorrow ye will get your pay - aka the whale novel. - first draft due 3/1, physical product due for display 4/1

this is an extremely short timeline, and while it's not "drop everything else" level short, it is going to have to be my #1 writing priority for a long time.

my plan is as follows

spend the remainder of october getting situated w/ the research i'm going to have to do, figuring out who i need to talk to, etc. as well as put together a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline

nov/dec i'm assuming will be eaten by SMST and other commitments, but get research done and essentially braindump into document

jan/feb, just write as much as possible, take time off of work/quit job if i need to

if possible confine edits to the first 2 weeks of march, get books printed; deliver final product by last week of march.

god this schedule is miserable. well i signed up for it! i did this entirely to myself! lmfao.

anyway i'm going to bracket in that it's a 20 chapter novel, which seems like a reasonable number of chapters. i essentially have ~10 weeks to write this book. this is totally normal and fine, i have written longer books with less of a solid outline in shorter amounts of time. if i can just sit my ass in a chair and hammer out 2.5k words/day i will EASILY make this deadline and have time for editing. the issue will be making myself do that. but having a deadline and like professional accountability should majorly help. esp if i quit my stupid fucking job lol

serpent's mouth, serpent's teeth - due 12/31

i have four chapters left on SMST. i do not think they will be EASY to write but I do think that I'm CAPABLE of getting them done before the end of the year. at the very least i've sworn until i was blue in the face that i would finish this book by the end of the year. i need this book to stop haunting my waking nightmares lmfao. i estimate ~50-60k words remain, but we'll see what it actually ends up shaking out as. hopefully it's not more than that.

anyway this is another just "ass in chair" moment. though if i could have made myself do that months ago, this book would have been finished sometime this summer lol

every link was freedom's name - aka the fucking. arle heinessen play. no due date.

this is my yay you finished all the obligations you had now you get to do something deeply deeply stupid and entertaining only to a tiny number of people project. lyric play about arle heinessen. book of exodus pastiche. probably not that long. estimate it'll take me as long as POD did, so a month and a half? but i won't stress it. aim to finish it mid may?

new constellations - aka the logh rarepairs exchange i run

I'm planning to run signups in late march, with works due mid may. this is slightly earlier than last year but due to my own personal schedule i don't want it to overlap with...

heart attack exchange - works due 6/2

yeah you literally only get 2 weeks to work on this one so it kinda is what it is lol.

life out of balance rewrite. no particular due date.

i expect this will take me 3-4 months to complete. finish by september?

lighting out for the territories augmentation. no particular due date.

i'd like to think that i can get this done in 2 months but i don't actually have a plan for what i need to do to it. so who tf knows lol. assume it'll take me the rest of the year.

every hateful instrument - no firm date

this will likely take between 6-8 months to finish, but it's another thing that i really want to stop having hanging over me. i'll either work on it before the LOFTT stuff or after

WIAW phezzan novella - ultimate TBD

to be completed immediately before starting LL/SS, probably

other misc nonsense

there are other small exchanges that i like to do (space swap, unsent letters, we die like fen) so as those pop up i probably will sign up for them. i'm not going to look up/prognosticate when they will happen at this moment in time

god i owe so many people gifts for birthdays and holidays and stuff >.> you may or may not get them. lean towards may not b/c what the fuck is this writing schedule. i'm so sorry lmao

i've now gotten back around to "oh this goes up to the end of the year again, so the end of the year exchanges (yuletide, fffx, fiab, galactic santas) should be on this schedule" but down that road lies only pain and horror lol

this list has gotten incredibly vague as things have gone on. the last part of this year and the first part of next year are pretty set in stone though, and i just need to like, get myself to the starting block and then start running

literally so funny that i was like "i should relax and take a break from writing before starting LL/SS" lmfao. lmfao.

obviously some of these things could be deleted from the schedule. i don't have to do a bunch of exchanges (but i liiiiiike them) and i don't have to write a stupid play (but i wannnnnnt to), and i don't have to do any rewrites to the early parts of WIAW (but they're a mess). so it's like. idk. maybe none of this is real and i'm just making lists b/c i like making lists lol

#writing #a wheel inside a wheel #in the shadow of heaven #tomorrow ye will get your pay #weh probably there's other things i should tag this with but it's late i need to go to bed

[westanallthegays]

Writing 101 with your favorite queer (EDITED)

Writing is h a r d .

If you think writing is easy, then I'm going to ask you if you've ever WRITTEN A STORY BEFORE because clearly, you're oblivious af.

Writing isn't just w r i t i n g a s t o r y, it's late nights trying to figure out how the fuck to write this moment, it's sleep deprivation to puzzle this character over, it's scribbling ideas down, it's questioning whether your writing is GOOD or not and whether anyone would actually want to read it, it's staring at your google doc or word doc and thinking, "Is this worth it? Maybe I should just quit ahead of time."

It's so many things, but it's not fucking EASY.

Which is why I'm writing this post for y'all. Let's be clear, I don't know everything about writing. I'm in progress, still trying to figure shit out, but I thought I might share what I've learned with you through a very, very painful process.

So ✨here we go✨

One of the things about writing is that everyone has different methods. Here's mine. Use it or not. It's up to you.

I know a lot of people who don't plan their writing out are gonna be screaming at me, but I've found out that having at least a basic plan, if not the simplest plan EVER formed by just a few bullet points really helps.

I'll give you an example (which is miraculous themed because I'm pretty sure everyone at least KNOWS what miraculous is)

Marinette goes to school

Alya gushes to her about this "cool new girl" that has arrived

Marinette reaches school and discovers the new girl is Lila Rossi

shenanigans ensue. Adrien is the only one who isn't clueless. Lie la is a bitch, as usual (what is new?)

Okay, this example was pretty crappy, but you get the idea. It doesn't even have to be an exact copy of what's gonna happen in your story, just the general idea and a few more plot points. Doing this when I'm bored, whether in my sketchbook or on a google doc, really helps. For one, I can just write down a bunch of shitty ideas and later go through them and decide which ones are the least crappy to put in my fanfic.

I'm a planning person, but I don't go super crazy when planning out a chapter. I've heard of some people creating the most intricate plans EVER for their story, and well, sorry, but that just DOESN'T work for me. This method is a lot more simpler, and it's not totally crazy.

(hopefully)

Also, if you're writing a story based on a tv show or book series(*cough percy jackson *cough) Then I find it INCREDIBLY helpful to write down a list of all of the minor characters i want to include in my story, because let's be real, I'm pretty sure I'd forget after like a day.

And I've read too many stories with only the main characters and there being like one mention of a minor character. (*cough GROVER *cough)

So spare your innocent readers (not really) and use this method.

Welp, that's it! I'm sorry this ran on for so long guys, I had a lot to say and wanted to elaborate on it enough so that it made sense. If you actually read through this shit pile of a post, then TYSM IT REALLY MEANS A LOT.

Stay safe, don't fall into a deep, dark hole of depression that you can't get out of, and I'll see ya later~

EDIT:

Hi guys! It's been a few months since I stepped into the world of tumblr and wrote this post. After that i kinda forgot about tumblr with the existential crisis that is school and basic stress, so ....sorry bout that.

Thank you to the two people who liked this post, it means a lot <3

As usual, your girl is here to give some more tips that i learned over those few months i was incognito.

2. Brain dump, second draft, third draft, fourth draft...

I dont know if yall have heard of the brain dump in writing. I recently found about it when despertely researching ways to improve my crappy writing. Basically, a brain dump is when you take all of your ideas and write them down on paper or a google doc or whatever you use. I thought it was a pretty good idea, but i kind of already told you guys this with my previous tip above.

SO I REMODELED IT YOU'RE WELCOME

MY version is that you do a brain dump but in the form of a really messy, chaotic first draft. Write whatever you want using the ideas you have, and you dont even have to put proper dialouge. I find that i obsesse way too much over dialogue, so with my brain dump, i just leave blank spaces where the dialogue should be and put that in the second draft, which is a much more organized version of the brain dump.

THAT WAY, you can have all of your ideas down and begin to edit them into a slightly better piece of artistic creativity. I haven't tried this out myself, so im not sure how reliable it is. if you want to try this out, drop a comment telling me how it went.

Im pretty sure that's it. There isn't much esle to say, and im sure yall are familar with the "first draft, second draft" concept thingie so i dont have to explain that bit.

Again, sorry about my long absence. I would promise to do this more often, but im pretty sure i wont be able to keep that promise, so . . .

anyways, have a great day and ill see you soon (hopefully!)

:)

#creative writing #writing in general #writing is haaaaaaaaard #your resident queer is dropping facts here listen up #planning is okay sometimes #percy jackson #miraculous ladybug #writing 101 class #i should become a teacher yES IM THAT GOOD SHUT UP

[rreyie]

k. (eren j. x reader)

summary; you're well aware by now that your feelings of eren have blossomed into something more than a fuckbuddy. but you're not quite sure if he'll agree.

content warnings; smut (18+), fingering, oral (f. receiving), vaginal, unprotected sex, unestablished relationship, degrading, use of pet names, creampie, slight dumbification, hurt at the end i’m sorry.

word count; 2.2k

a/n; the fic that has been sitting in my drafts for 2 months has been completed! anyways i’m sorry i’m advance

you're well aware by now that eren jaeger isn't just a one night stand you had a week ago. you couldn't quite call it a friendship now, but perhaps fuckbuddies- or people who banged on the low with no strings attached.

well, you wouldn't say you didn't have feelings for him by now. you couldn't tell if it was his mischievous personality or his nine inch long dick, but there were certainly more than platonic feelings on your end.

you two had met when armin, mikasa and eren bought a house to rent out for college. you were a friend of mikasa's and had nowhere to go except to the house they rented, so you moved in. you and eren clicked almost instantaneously, as if you were best friends your whole life.

the sexual tension between you two was inexplicable. and you both knew it. and that's why one day, eren chose to make his move when you two were watching "finding nemo: blu-ray dvd edition" on the couch in the living room.

you two fucked during the scene when the little red-headed girl was terrorizing the other fish. but you two don't talk about it. all that mattered was that it was good sex- and by good, you meant really. fucking. good. you had no clue how he gained all this experience, but that didn't matter either.

now you were here, nearing the end of your sophomore year. this little rendezvous with eren had lasted five months now. you two definitely fucked often- sometimes sucking him off while he was studying for is psychology course, other times bending you over the bathroom counter with a death grip on your asscheeks.

this time he had walked into your room while you were clicking away at your laptop while you sat on your bed, doing your best to study for the exam you had next week. he didn't say a word, just laid down on the bed next to you and stared up at the ceiling.

you tried your hardest to ignore him, but your train of thought was lost when he cleared his throat unnecessarily loudly as if you couldn't already tell that he was right next to you.

you shut your laptop in defeat, and turned your head over to eren, a smile ever so slightly curling on his lips. you were unamused at his behavior.

"yes, eren?" you ask, eyes locking with his jade orbs. he clearly hasn't slept in a while, telling from the dark circles under his eyes, contrasting his somewhat tan skin. his brown hair was in its messy bun like normal, tied up sloppily with some baby hairs poking out here and there.

"dunno", he responded. "just seeing what you're up to."

"mhm? well, that sounds like bullshit to me, mister jaeger", you scoff. "you always come in here and make yourself at home when you're horny."

eren sighed, and sat up from his position. "fine, you caught me red handed. but i know you're as horny as i am."

"...you're right", you admit, before he flips over so he's on all fours and crawls over so he's in front of you. the several rings that adorned his fingers glistened in the ceiling light above, his grey sweatshirt hanging loosely around his body. though what he always wore was so simple, he never failed to look breathtaking in it.

tugging at the waist of your sweatpants, eren growled a "take it off" before you slid your hands down to your waist and did as he told you, leaving you in your panties. you didn't wear nice ones today assuming you weren't going to be fucking somebody, but here you were.

the rest was done by him as he pulled down your panties, breath hitching at the sight of your wet cunt. eren licked his lips hungrily.

"wet? already? what are you, some kind of whore?"

when you only looked at him with doe eyes, he rose his voice. "well? give me an answer, slut."

his very words made something awaken in your core, and you responded with a "y-your whore, eren."

eren nodded in satisfaction, content with your answer. "you're learning."

in past experiences, you had been quite a brat to him- as he would say. constantly going up against what he wanted, trying to dominate him. but every single time he ended up pushing you back down and pounding you into the nearest surface, making you state exactly who you belonged to. but since you were being good this time, he relented.

dipping a cold finger into your folds, he collected the juices that wetted the outer lips of your cunt, savoring the warmth it provided him in contrast to his hand. in response, you jolted at the cold temperature, only for eren to hold you down by the waist to prevent too much movement.

working his fingers inside your impossibly tight cunt, he pushed in one, swirling it around in an attempt to find your sweet spot- in which he succeeded. with a hum of approval, he pushed through another finger past the bit of muscle and into your walls, placing it in the same spot the other finger was. curling his digits around that spongy spot and placing the gentlest pressure upon it. letting a pathetic whimper escape your lips, eren is quick to stop what he's doing and reach for your panties.

"w-what are you doing?" you croak, voice weak from the recent stimulation.

"shutting you the fuck up", he snapped back in response. balling up your pair of soaked panties, he stuffed them in your mouth, making you gag a little. he only smirked at the fact you were struggling. "you're just too fuckin' loud. if armin and mikasa weren't downstairs i would let you have at it, but we've gotta keep this a secret baby."

resuming what he was doing a minute ago, he moves his mouth closer to your cunt, ever so gently wrapping his lips around your delicate little clit. your hips bucked upwards as he put his two fingers in their previous spot, pumping slowly in and out.

you're only able to mumble in approval as his pumping turns languid and rough, and before you know it you're already feeling that knot that's all too familiar in your stomach. you yelp into your balled up panties that occupied your little mouth, the sound coming out muffled. erens brow raises as he removes his fingers from your fluttering cunt.

you're about to mutter something in disapproval, but eren starts talking before you. "i told you to stay quitet, princess. what don't you get about that? are you that stupid whore i thought you were? yeah, i thought so."

"'m not a stupid whore", you say, making your statement clear even though there was a piece of fabric in your mouth.

"then show it", eren demands as he slides his fingers back in, his thrusting become too quick for you to resist an orgasm, but still staying quiet so he would let you cum.

you gush all over his fingers, creamy white liquid coating his fingers as he pulls out, and places his fingers in his mouth, licking off the substance. you're reduced to a panting mess on your bed.

"that tired, are ya?" eren mocks you. "too bad. i still've got a hard cock and you're gonna take care of it." he isn't wrong. his print is easily visible in his grey sweats, at its full length and glory.

"more", you pant out. "want your cock, can handle it, eren..."

"i know you can, princess", he coos as he practically rips down his pants and boxers at the same time, exposing his hardened and flushed cock. the tip was tinted red, a few veins protruding through the skin on the side. he had a pretty cock indeed.

"bend over", he commands. shakily, you comply and get on all fours so that your head is near a pillow in case your legs give out. "that's'a girl."

you can feel him come up from behind you, and rub his warm tip over your cunt, making a shiver run down your spine. his size never failed to make you at least just a little bit nervous, it always hurt a bit when it went in but he prepped you well enough that it would slide in easily.

with his right hand, he grabbed the sturdy frame of the headboard, and with his left, started to push his cockhead into your tight little hole. you squealed as you felt his flesh enter you slowly, but soon sheathed his whole self in with one thrust.

"fuck- you're tight", he grunted, and removed his left hand so it was now gripping your ass. you could feel his fingernails digging into the supple skin, likely leaving red crescent marks. after eren took a deep breath or two, he started his movements. and he didn't relent.

the pace he was moving at was almost dizzying, making you let out a few high-pitched wails. his balls slapped up against your behind, lewd noises of skin on skin filling the room. he held onto the headboard, making the bed shake and creak with every new thrust he took.

"eren, eren, eren", you mumbled, completely cockdrunk by him. "more, more please".

eren smirked, his hair starting to fall out of his bun. "liking that? i knew it, you're just a whore. begging for my cock like always, just like the slut i've always known."

his words were mean, but they made you clamp around his dick, making him release a stuttered moan. were you perhaps sick for liking the way he degraded you? you didn't know and didn't care.

"s' good, 'ren", you gasped, wanting him to keep calling you these names and degrading you down to the bone. you would never let any man talk to you like that- only eren could, he did it the right way.

"i know baby, i know", he purred. "m' gonna cum, you gonna cum with me?"

"y-yes!" you shriek, feeling your second orgasm creep up on you, making your stomach do a somersault. "please 'ren! make me cum! need you filling me up!"

eren gave a dark chuckle, and threw his head back into a moan. your orgasm hit you like a truck, the pleasure taking over your entire body and making you shake uncontrollably, squealing into your pillow as your legs gave out. eren knew this was coming, so he removed his right hand from his headboard and put both of his hands under your legs to hold you out as he rode out his high. he jackhammered into you, balls tightening as the knot in his stomach finally snapped, making his cum spurt out of his tip and into your cunt. you were left immobile and speechless, drooling into your pillow as he pulled himself out and let his semen leak out from your hole and all over your sheets.

after he finished panting, he looked over to you. "you good?"

"mmph", you mumble, eren barely hearing you. you meant for that to be an affirmation.

he flipped you over so you were on your back, your sweatshirt still on your body. he cursed himself for not removing it, but there was always a next time. he smiled at your state, knowing he fucked you that good.

“you did good, princess”, he grinned, and pulled up his boxers again, and searched for his phone which he left somewhere in the room.

“eren”, you ask. “where are you going?”

“there’s a party at jeans dorm tonight. you going?”

you sigh. “no, studying for the exam. i need to pass it, maybe i’ll go next time.”

eren nodded, and walked out the door. “thanks again.”

staring up at the ceiling, you wondered how eren could always treat the fact you two fucked on the regular so casually. he always went around and flirted with other girls at parties, but never took them home.

well, it was now or never that you were going to make your move.

you grabbed your phone from your nightstand and unlocked it, your home screen being a photo of you, eren, armin and mikasa all huddled around the couch for a movie night. you opened your messaging app, and clicked on erens contact. this is where you began drafting your message.

| You: um okay hi eren! so thanks for today, it felt really good as always. but i was wondering if maybe you would want to take things further? we can go out to dinner thursday night if you’re free :)

reading it over once before sending, you pressed the blue button that sent the message to him. it took two minutes for him to read if.

the three dots in a bubble popped up on his end of the conversation. you internally panicked, wondering if this was the right choice.

| erennn: i mean don’t we fuck? don’t get me wrong u cool but i mean idk man

your heart quite literally froze at the sight of his message. the dots popped up again, and you held your breath waiting for an answer.

| erennn: so like fuckbuddies basically, that’s all i want rn so uhhhh yeah 💀

this was the exact moment you felt your heart physically sink. fuck, now you’ve embarrassed yourself. would he think your weird?

wanting to act calm and unaffected by his answer, all you wrote was one letter.

| You: k.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #aot hcs #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #aot smut #snk smut #eren jeager #eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren yeager x reader #eren x reader #eren jeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x y/n #eren smut #aot eren #eren aot #snk eren #eren snk #eren x reader smut #choking on my water

[intearsaboutrobots]

3, 4, 7 & 22 for the meta ask thing?

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

oh gosh... this isn't exactly right bc i am actually very excited by the set-up i came up w i am just not good on a Long Writing Project, but i have a very good crossover WIP for Lymond Chronicles/Legally Blonde The Musical lmaoo

the thing is it is actually VERY INTERESTING how those two canons interact, and i would love to actually write the novel length fic that this would be but i am notttt an experienced Long Thing writer!!! but i will put some of my fav snippets i wrote for it at the end under the cut :33

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

She tugged Daisy gently into her, settling her against her side. Daisy tried her best to relax, ordering her muscles to loosen. This should have been the easiest thing in the world, she and Basira should have fit together like puzzle pieces. They'd both changed too much thought, Basira growing sharp and dangerous, her angles digging into the places Daisy had been hurt.

this is from good sleep is hard to find, and i forgot how much i liked writing this dynamic ! what's more fun than two ppl who used to be incredibly close and now things have changed and they just. don't fit anymore.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

hmm i'm not sure if this counts but i write a lot of people suppressing reactions? not someone crying, but someone holding back tears or biting their tongue until they taste blood, yk? i'm not really sure if that's the right answer for this question tho

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

no aha not really... this isn't always true but for the things i didn't write in basically one sitting and put right onto ao3 and particularly for anything written on a deadline, by the time im posting it i have spent so much time editing it that i feel terrible and (esp if it was on a deadline) have possibly cried over it. so i post it and then never read it again ghslkdfhsf

(i am trying to write in a way where i don't end up feeling terrible tho ghslkdf it's a work in progress)

((also rereading old stuff for this meme has been very fun actually, it turns out i like my writing sometimes??? literally who knew))

brief context: the AU is that Lymond=Elle, Pippa=Emmett, and Margaraet=Callahan. because of the ages tho, lymond went to harvard to follow margaraet before pippa did, so he didn't have someone to help him get out from under her thumb. when pippa meets him, he's still stuck in a like, fucked up relationship w her where she is also his boss and absolutely wields that over him. also this is copied right from my drafts pls disregard typoes etc...

---

It was past midnight when Phillippa spotted Lymond's fair hair coming out of the building. Hopping off the ledge she'd been sitting on, she dashed to catch up with him. He turned when he heard her coming. His hair was in disarray, his shirt still partially unbuttoned.

"Ah, Somerville comma Phillippa," he drawled. "I don't know why I'm surprised, you found a piece of personal business to stick your nose into so where else should you be? Well, I'm afraid you've missed the boat on this one. My relationship to Margaret has been the subject of campus gossip since longer than you've been out of diapers. I've heard some remarkable suggestions on what exactly is going on under the *bench at trials."

"Stop it!" she snapped. "You won't turn me off that easily."

"Turn you off, I wouldn't dare. Besides, that isn't exactly my field, is it." Every word was spat out like a dart, aiming to hurt. By his side, his hands were fisted, and his lips were tight and drawn. Phillippa stepped closer, standing up to her full height to glare at him.

"Francis Crawford. You are my friend," she emphasised the word, stuffing any feelings to the contrary into a box, "and I do not stand by and let my friends be hurt."

His face became a cold mask. She has misjudged.

"Consider the burden of my well-being lifted from you, then. Disregard any friendship you might have thought we had, Ms. Somerville. Don't you have a job to get to? Floors to mop?"

He hissed the last words, and turned on his heel to storm off. Phillippa didn't follow, frozen with rage and embarrassment.

---

"We can fix it. We can fight it-"

"Don't you think," Lymond hissed, "I've tried that?" He was angrier, Pippa realised, than she'd ever seen him. His fists were curled, white-knuckled at his sides, and all the muscles in his body were taut and pulled tight. "Do you think I'm some sorry slut, eager to roll over for my mistress? I have been trying for years, Philippa. For years, to get the evidence to bring Margaret down. But who exactly would believe me over her?

"I know exactly how people see me. I'm not in denial as to my reputation, I know what people whisper. Half the rumors are probably true. But I'm not, I'm *not* giving up. I won't let her win."

Philippa matched his gaze, trying to hide the quivering inside of her.

"Let me help you, then. You don't have to do this on your own."

"For the love of-" Lymond spun, throwing up his hands. "I don't want you to see me with her. I am not proud of what I have to do. I don't want you to see me like that."

"It won't change the way I htink of you." Her voice gained strength as she went on. "You'll always be the arrogant, cutting, rude, brilliant, charismatic man who kicked me out of class on my first day. And I want to help you."

---

Lymond sat on the edge of the curb, coatless.

It was a chilly night. They were still in midSeptember, but the weather was ready for the cold and wind of later in the year. She unzipped her coat and shrugged it off.

"You'lre going to get hypothermia."Lymond looked at the coat dangling from her hand, then back up at Philippa. She shook it slightly impatiently.

"Don't worry about me, I am from here. You're a California boy, I'm sure you have a very delicate constitution."

"Thank you for your concern," he said dryly. He still hadn't taken the coat. Philippa gave up on any idea of him being sensible and settled it around his shoulders herself. This close, she could detect the minute trembling of his muscles. He was not dressed to be outside in this weather, and she felt a little worried for him.

"Do you need a ride? I... well, I don't have a car. But I could call you one."

Lymond looked up at her, eyes crinkling. "Your chivalry is unmatched, Miss Somerville. But unnecessary. I do not have need of knights in shining armour, or any other kind for that matter."

"You should be so lucky to have a dragon. At least they'd warm you up before you start losing digits."

It had been the right response, apparently, as a smile crossed Lymond's face that was warmer and more genuine than anything she'd seen from him before.

"Is that what you are then? A guardian dragon, here to make sure no frostbitten layabouts turn into icicles?"

From behind him, she heard a voice calling. He looked up, then back to her.

"I'm afraid my little tantrum had better be at an end." He held her coat out to her, but she shook her head.

"Keep it for the next time you decide to go stand outside in the middle of the night. In case the next dragon is not so full of fellow-feeling."

#lymond chronicles #q answered #thank u!!!

[the-official-account]

Uhhhh 2020 top 5 thing?

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I got tagged by @crystalinastar and its too early for this but I hope! You gain some semblance of joy! From this!

Although I do do art, I actively try not to be proud of it—or care at all—so it won't stress me out. There is only writing on this list.

5. Caineve

Yes I'm counting my OC here but at the bottom cause idk if ze counts. But not just Caineve! The whole story I'm telling with him and my friends has been such a wild ride, with a surprising amount of deep and tender moments. I'll never get over it, I'll quite literally cherish this expirience, if not forever, for a very long time.

Here's a WILDLY out of context poem I wrote in character for him

6. Oh shit wait no

4. Lone Man And The Wolf

I'm not linking it because I don't want you to read it, but it was my first story on ao3 and published fanfic ever so it deserves a mention. I am fueled by the need to change as a writer so much you'll hardly be able to accredit this to me. It sucks. I'm very, very proud of myself for finishing it at all.

3. This chapter of the tma whumptober i didn't finish

I just think it's the best things I've written yet on several measures of "good". I like the technique I used. Comparing this to the previous as how I've improve since—WAIT SINCE JULY!?!? HOLY SHIT I KNEW I WAS A BABY WRITER BUT THIS HITS DIFFERENT—I do think that I could win a fistfight against Neil Gaiman. Not that I could write as good as him I just think he'd get very creative with his environment and I can keep up with that.

2. The sasha Georgie fic

This fic is the most personally cathartic thing I've ever published. I didn't get to tell the full scope of the story I wanted to tell in that universe, but I don't know if I was ready to do that. It was my second fic ever we don't talk about the 0th and I used it to express a very personal frustration. Fandom doesn't exist in a void, yk? As much as we can see good rep and bad rep, like...stories about who characters are or why they are that way are welcome. I'm just proud I could tell a story like some of my own without selling the expirience too short.

1. Oh god how do I choose

I genuinely don't think any of my work deserves this first spot. Not because I'm not proud of what I make, maybe because I'm scared next year I won't surpass what I put here, but truly because...I don't feel like I have some kind of magnum Opus.

If you care to hear my philosophy here it is: everything I am most excited about is a draft. You can read Molecules here, just like you can find a lot of stuff in my card. But that story isn't as strong as it can be. It needs to be melted down and repaired with a more central theme.

My poetry has improved IMMENSELY this year. I write better stuff significantly more often. I can write decent stuff almost on command, that's an accomplishment. But I have more study to do, and I want to find peers who hold the same values as me in poetry to grow alongside. People who are not tied to their current themes and styles but eager and willing to explore whatever they can. Maybe do some kind of...club? Ongoing workshop?

But regardless of the technical skill in my work (of which there's a notable amount but nothing grand) the subjects I write about are not who I want to be as a poet. I want to address the political and the human. I don't want to be a Keats or a Mary Oliver (though Ms.Mary thank you so fucking much for that book) I want to be angrier than them, because I live my life so, so angry. As much anger as there is joy. And I need to study both my forebearers in poetry and my forebearers in activism to reach my goal well.

My work as a supportive role in the writing of others has both affected me more, and resulted in more and better content than I could ever dream of making alone. I cannot rightfully claim that as my own accomplishment, but I do not want to say fufilling supportive roles is not an accomplishment or is a small one.

Many of my best stories sit semi-outlined in my notes because I am not ready to write them yet. I have more reading to do, I should learn the very first thing about script writing, and having a quiet space to write where I am not in pain after 30 minutes would help. A kid can dream.

I don't think that anyone can take pride in ideas. We all have ideas, and sure there are good and bad ones, but ideas take noether skill nor dedication. There's a reason damn good you can't copyright them. So although I think some of my concepts is gold in its ore, I have work to do because they can be mine.

I've drafted a few games and I simply do not think it gets cooler than that.

But if I did have to pick a few contenders it would be these:

The Highway Blond

Wrote this one for a school prompt in English class in an afternoon cause I forgot to do it. Then lots of edits later. I didn't follow the prompt at ALL but the teacher liked it so much I got a 100 and she made me read a different book than the class. Cheers to being a good two-shoes. Too bad she isn't my teacher anymore.

I like how this story has 3 "plots" doing on, in a loose sense of the word. Jess getting her gas, The mystery that is Angela, and the relationship the two have. Only one of those gets completely resolved, and for such a short story, leaving those questions somewhat open both help to portray Jesse's conviction to the goal she already set, and to give a sense of wonder at what the larger story world may be like. My intention sitting down to write that was to show a slice of life, a fantasy life im a fantasy world, sure, but just a small glimpse of something that is clearly just a beat in a bigger story, but that matters and is intresting despite that.

Also Jesse annoys me as a person.

I'm also quite proud if the unfinished guides I've written, this one on flash fiction, this on poetry, and this on general writing. I think they can grow inti a handbook one day, if I ever grow qualified to write one.

I would probably rather die than pick a favorite poem from this year. And I've written about 200 total and more than half is from 2020 alone. But here's one of the most important, both as a marker of skill and personal development

My Father Made Me An Antifascist

What if my secret is I will never be evil?

What if my father's serpent whispers

"Do not trust yourself to lead"

Might be ignored in trusting other people?

For all I have said to love me only if,

What if there is no other possibility for me?

I breathe and read history as pertains to revolution

What if I trusted my forefathers of belief?

I know there is poison in discipline of the self

under the shined leather boot another,

That the camaraderie between yourself and

The others holding up that foot of bigotry is false

But, and I whisper this where I should say it loud-

Let's say I don't know how to produce this, yes?-

What if I bit the foot that crushes me

And smile around with bloody teeth

What if I run wild through the common concepts of thought?

Escaped from oppression, I view the mountian and the void,

The sky and the ocean and love the freedom in contrast?

Then, father, could I trust myself to be loved unconditionally?

0. The conclusion

There you go. If for some fucking reason you're a maniac who read this long, like, wanna be friends? I don't know why u out up with this ramble but there's more of me if you want it!

This was mostly written as a reflection of myself for the future. Maybe I'll try and make this a yearly thing. Dunno. What I do know is that by the end of next year my writing will hav again dramatically improved. I'm looking forward to meeting who I am then. Hello future me! I doubt you have a podcast yet, but how's the recording stuff in general going? Haven't given up on that dream, I hope. Hope you're not dead and that nobody in the fam is dead either. That would suck. I hope you're read more fantasy novels cause lord knows I'm craving them. Also you ain't shit, Be humble. Unless you're in a bad place in which case you're the shit and I believe in you.

Bye now.

Oh also I tag @littlerobinsart @stygiomedusa @minamino @poppetseedbagel (if u don't wanna post it let's talk about it on discord for fun!)

(I also wanted to tag @radiosandrecordings because I think they're real neat and I would like to see this from them but it didn't show up in my og draft so here's an edit. Oopsie.)

[simmonsized]

if you're still doing these, #2 and #10 for metempsychosis? I've really enjoyed the symbolism you've managed to throw in to it uwu, and i'm also a sucker for any kind of mythos Au. especially one with giant statues and temples of the regional deities

I am ALSO a sucker for god aus and honestly could do this all day!

EDIT: SOMEHOW THIS POSTED INSTEAD OF ENDED IN MY DRAFTS!!!!!! SORRY!!!!!!!

2. Which scene was your favorite to write?

The temple scene in the first chapter! I have been sitting on this au since 2016 (I am very shy) and just recently have felt brave enough to post! A lot of it is completely rewritten but that scene has not changed as much! The iron red granite, the whole thing being really dark in contrast to Dave’s personality, more representative of his world than himself! Was all rly fun and important to me! Dave is of course, widely recognized as the God of Death, a concept that makes him incredibly uncomfortable! It is, of course, the number one thing he’s always struggled with - his mortality!

10. What are some facts readers may not know about [overly dramatically named fic]?

okay so sorry i tried to add this on mobile and it did not work @ anon i am so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!

i will try to come up with things that do not spoil everything!!!- jess (@ future-geometries) has made some concept collection shit for a few of the gods and they are different temple designs and like, motifs and shit!! and they are very cool and i wish i could explain but they are #future influencers- dirk is the god of war, as well as the perceived god of the afterlife, goes hand in hand with jane in a lot of mythos, the same w jane and dave, being time and life!- bro’s name is dietrich, long form, and all of the other guardians have “full names” as well!- also he was born in odessa! fake odessa, obviously!- he had ONE (1) friend during high school, and it was not mom! c:- the spooky lady everyone is so afraid of is literally just Grandma Jade, she is not actually a spoiler. Bro does not like her because she says cryptic shit to him all the time and he doesn’t want anything to do w skaianet!- in this universe, following suit of canon, Skaianet used to be run by Jake but as it gained traction and evolved, he eventually left (since gods live forever duh) and Gma grew and joined and became a CEO!! she is actually Rox/Mom’s boss!- jess asked specifically how human and troll religion interacted so!i will say currently (hypothetical bc i don’t have all the details ironed out) they are kinda sorted into the typical “i am human so i follow this, you’re a troll so you follow this” but of course there’s some overlap, and given dave and jade’s initial housing situation in the troll kingdom, we can assume time and space are very important facets of troll religion! no juggalos allowed, not in my fucking houseof course this is where we run into the problem with aradia versus dave, but that i like to think is more of where aspect comes into play! Aradia is considered a healer, “time heals all wounds”, “there’s always time for more”, a “maid” being a cleaner, as well as an exalted figure. whereas dave is seen a bit more intimidating, scary, carrying his sword, an ender of life, the slow march towards death, etc etc.- this whole au started bc i was drawing some cool statues of the kids and designing outfits and wanted to make it extra- while trolls and humans probably have a preference towards deities, the consorts and the carapacians see them all as equally important!- also while karkat, kanaya, and terezi (and also sollux in his own way hehe) are not seen as GODS, they are important figures in mythos, and there are subcultures that probably value them in their own way. kanaya bein a kind of saint-figure for the jade bloods and the others working in the brooding caverns, etc etc- dave generally speaking is at least 23, because it’s 2018/9 and i think exploring a slightly older dude is more interesting!

that is!!! just some background info i guess i could go all day lmao but that seems. excessive.

#metempsychosis bullshit #also the name is like #so extra #but it just means ''reincarnation'' haha!