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venusiangguk · 3 years

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ok. i finished 10 minutes ago and needed a break. prepare for a long message miss stella 🙂

firstly, THE BEGINNING. WHAT THE CUCKSNEKMFKD. THE WORKING OUT, THE WATCHING EACH OTHER IN THE MIRROR, THE SEXUAL TENSION I COULD FEEL THROUGH THE SCREEN. i-

ok but when oc was kinda sad she wasn’t invited i wanted to cry because i get so immersed into the story i forget nari isn’t hers. it’s just cause she’s so amazing to nari that i forget :/ and it’s hard for me to accept she’s not oc and jk’s baby. anyways.

the ASS EATING STELLA. u went in and i’m so happy for that. wait i need to appreciate this snippet:

“As your tongue works over him, he chants over and over again, tells you how hot you look, how good your mouth feels, how wants you to keep going. It’s when you point your tongue a little, just barely pressing into his rim that his hand goes to the back of your head.

He holds your face to his ass, pushes you into him as he melts into the chair, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths that lilt up at the end.

“Good girl,” Jeongguk moans, his eyes blinking open hazily as he looks down at you again.”

WHDKSIWNEJE THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE SMUT FOR ME.

hELP BUT WHEN SHE SAID DADDY AND HE WAS LIKE “no🤨” I SCREAMED … the sir kink i gotta go. let’s not forget how oc was CRYING from the jock. she was so overwhelmed, there was so much happening. like the way u were adding in the little thoughts where we could tell love was brewing 😞 oh and i need to mention him holding her up cause she was completely fucked out… yeah

wait before i get to the hard part, I WANNA SAY JK HAVING A LITTLE AREA FOR NARI WITH A DANCE BAR 😭 sobbing rn

…. ok

now onto the madness.

i just knew nari’s mom was gonna be at the door. like if she wasn’t u would’ve been like “you paid the delivery guy quickly and walked to the kitchen” but the way you were processing every second before oc opened the door.. i just KNEW.

the AWKWARDNESS. we all know oc is gorgeous but we’ve all been there where we meet someone important and we don’t look our best and we’re sCREAMING inside. now oc didn’t seem to care besides the fact she was in jk’s shirt and it was painfully obvious they just fucked (wait i wish oc was like “bitch i ate his ass bet u never did before” ok let me stop)

we all knew dasom was gonna be THAT mom. hardworking, intimidating, classy, beautiful, JUDGEMENTAL. and whilst reading i was angry…quite PISSED OFF i will admit, BUT the more u think about it.. yeah imagine taking your daughter to your ex’s house and seeing a beautiful young woman in a your ex husbands shirt and your daughter reaching for her… what would u do? i’d be petty. so yeah can i blame her? no.

but i still wanted to punch her in the fucking face. like i have a strong hate for her but i also don’t?? it bothers me that her and jk thought having a baby would fix everything. at least they’re both amazing parents. nari’s speech issues hurt me sm. i could feel gguk’s worry. and ngl i felt for dasom when she cried. but also GET OUT OF HERE CUNT!! (i’m bipolar when it comes to her sorry 😁)

but i am mad at gguk for not defending oc. i know he was kinda in shock from the questions about “are u committing to her” but it made me upset. maybe cause i’ve been in that situation. and having someone u care about NOT defend u fucking hurts. a guy did the same to me with his ex. i get it’s a different situation tho, my ex wasnt a hot sexy rich carrying dilf…

but this is stressful because i understand both sides. i don’t think i’d want to become a stepmom at 22. no matter how much i loved someone and their kid. this is hard for me to say but, i for once would be okay with them not ending up together. (i say this now but if they don’t i’ll be kicking n crying on the floor cussing u out)…. this is totally different than icrlr because here we have both sides communicating their feelings and concerns.

and they are both in COMPLETELY different parts of their life. it hurts.. so bad to say but maybe they aren’t meant to be together.

damn stella you’ve broken me. i’m actually wishing for them to part. look what you’ve done to me 🙂

now i’m not saying i’d be mad if they end up together, but i feel like if they don’t, it makes sense.

but iF THEY DONT POOR NARI WILL MISS HER. oh speaking of nari and oc… the part where she was holding her face while crying i- 😭 ur evil for that. babies r so precious. i’m done. and THE NARWHAL NOOOO 🙁

well i feel like i touched on everything i can remember. i’m sure more will come to mind after some re-reads. thank u my lovely stella, for the lengthy update. 💖💖

(but damn u cant put me thru the ringer like this … my feelings are so fucked up rn)

ahhhh yaz <33 ur reviews always make me sooo happy <333

i too forget that nari isn't oc's sometimes :( (or like i choose to forget about her mom lmao) she and nari have such a special bond </3

yes the ass eating 😤 and yeah okay, when he was pushing her into him i had to pause and like... think about my choices bc something activates me when jk gets so into it 🥴 im glad u liked it, love writing ass eating <3 jk really was like 'no daddy kink ever 🙅🏻' LMAO i feel like this smut was one of their more passionate times, they both were so into it n <33

ur exactly right about the kind of mom dasom is LOL and ur also right about how she reacted, like i feel like i would have definitely acted similarly, if not more petty 😭 but yeah she was kinda bitchy and didn't have to express herself that way. and when they were talking about nari, i really wanted to show dasom isn't a bad mom, and they she LOVES nari... like she's the antagonist but she's not a villain, i wanted her to be very human. (i kinda have a soft spot for her tbh)

it really is so hard because everyones emotions are valid. i know some people will pick sides, but i as the writer understand the motives of everyone a little better so i have a difficult time, although i can understand the flaws in each characters thinking process lol. they have a lot to think about and work through </33

thank u so much for reading and for taking the time to send me this like u have no idea how much i look forward to reading what u think about my stuff, ur opinion is valuable to me friend <33

#ask #anon #stellanswers <3 #tao jk #mutuals <3

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spnreactions · 3 years

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15x18: Despair

Ahhhhh.

Alright guys. I’m so pumped, but also so scared, because I couldn’t watch it live, and my mom and I are about to watch it on the app, but all of my friends sent me spoiler free reactions and I’m kind of freaking out now that I know how much they were dying.

BUT ANYWAYS.

Let’s do this.

WAIT WAIT WAIT!

That...that parallel...IS CAS GONNA FINALLY TELL THEM ABOUT HIS DEAL??!!

MY POOR BABY AHHHH!!!!

HE BETTER BE OKAY!!!!

ARE THEY GONNA SHOW THE SPEECH??!!

Oh boo. They didn’t show the speech.

STOOOOOP!

JUST RESOLVE IT ALREADY!!

“Now.”

Cas omg that’s not gonna help. I love you and I know you’re panicking, but no. That’s like when I’m having an anxiety attack and people are like “just calm down”. But anyways.

Dean is panicking again OMG!! It’s nice to see him openly caring about his son again! <3 <3 <3

I’m still a little upset with him, but that’s a good start.

Jack noooo baby! We’re not doing that!

Awww baby. :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

“Don’t let me hurt you.” I’M ALREADY ABOUT TO CRY OH MY GOD! :’( :’(

“We’re not giving up on you.” THERE’S THE DEAN I KNOW AND LOVE!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

BILLIE GO AWAY!!!

Okay actually save Jack.

But also SHUT UP!

Yeah? And?

HEY! NOT NICE!!

It was SAVED because of them! Shut up!

Cas is so desperate omg. :’( :’( :’( :’(

UMMMMMMM

WHERE DID HE GO??!!

They’re all so worried ahhhh.

IS THAT THE EMPTY??!!

Noooooo no no no no.

That’s bad.

No likey.

..........

...........!!!!

NO!!!

NO NO NO!!!

PLEASE TELL ME THAT WASN’T REAL!!!

PLEASE TELL ME THEY’RE GONNA FIX THAT!!

I WASN’T EXPECTING THAT SO SOON NO!!!

Their faces. :’( :’( :’(

...maybe? That’s a good thing, right? RIGHT?!

God, I hate her so much, but da** Lisa Berry is good at playing the villain.

Really? WONDER WHY!!

Haha me too Dean.

...they keep saying “not without being summoned” in regards to the Empty and it’s making me nervous.

...oh.

Frick.

Just give it back if it means getting Jack back.

TELL HER OFF SAM!!

Ugh. Her sass is so good and I hate it but I love it.

BILLIE SCREW YOU!!!

LEAVE THEM ALONE!! JUST LET OUR FAMILY BE HAPPY!!!

OH THANK GOD HE’S ALIVE!!

I WAS HOPING!!

And I kind of figured, but a part of me was nervous, okay?

BABY! <3 <3 <3

...oh no.

Big uh-oh.

BABY RUN!!!

I DON’T KNOW WHERE, BUT RUN!!!

RUN!!!

RUN RUN RUN!!!

HURRY UP BOYS!!!

JACK IS IN DANGER HURRY THE FRICK UP!!!

HA!!!

YAAAAS SAM!!!

We be petty in this house.

...okay AND??!!

YAAAASSSS DEAN!!! I LOVE MY PROTECTIVE DAD DEAN AGAIN YAAAAAY!!!!

NO NO NO NO NOOOO! LEAVE MY BABY ALONE!!!

STOP IT!!!

BILLIE HURRY UP!!!

“Interesting”??? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??!!

OH THANK GOD!

...that was close.

Ummm...no.

We’re not doing that.

YAAAAASSSSSSS DEAN!!!!

THAT’S MY BABY!!!!

THAT’S THE DEAN I KNOW AND LOVE!!! I’VE MISSED YOU!!!

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY FORGIVEN DEAN WINCHESTER!!!

YOU ARE BACK TO SECOND FAVORITE FOR THAT MOVE RIGHT THERE!!!

FREAKING YES!!!

I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Awww...Jack. :’(

Cas running right over to him.

Most of Cas’s lines so far have been “Jack” oof. XD :’( <3 <3 <3

Okay so...this is...kind of a good thing, right? Like, obviously, Billie is still an issue, and obviously, Chuck is still an issue, but the FAMILY is TOGETHER again!! This is GOOD!! Why are my friends so upset about this episode?? What could possibly happen? (Anything. Anything could happen. Why would I even ask that?)

Wow. That’s an awesome camera shot. <3

The smoothness of that omg I love them.

YES DEAN!!!

I FORGIVE YOU!! SAM FORGIVES YOU!!! <3 <3 <3

ALL BETTER!!! I FORGIVE EVERYONE!! THIS IS GOOD!! <3 <3 <3

(I mean, he still kind of owes Jack an apology, but, like, based on his character, everything he just did for Jack was his biggest way of saying sorry. <3 <3)

HE SNAPPED OUT OF IT BECAUSE OF YOU SAM!

Also it’s true.

OMG EVEN BETTER CAMERA SHOT NOW THAT THEY’RE BOTH IN IT!! <3 <3 <3 <3

It’s okay! Because YOU GUYS are the heavy hitters!

“To somehow.” <3 <3 <3 <3

THAT SHOT! I CAN’T GET OVER IT!! <3 <3 <3

...hoh boy.

Billie is MAAAD.

...no likey.

AHHHH.

HAVE I MENTIONED LISA BERRY IS REALLY GOOD AT PLAYING THE VILLAIN??!!

CAUSE SHE’S REALLY GOOD AT PLAYING THE VILLAIN!!

OMG MY GIIIIIRL!!! <3 <3 <3

AWWW!! SHE FOUND A GIRLFRIEND!!!

THIS IS SO CUTE OMG!!!

I know it’s AU!Charlie, but STILL!! <3 <3 <3

“Like a date.” A date only hunters could do lol.

I love it. <3 <3

They’re the cutest omg. <3 <3

“Rubbery trash eggs.” I LOVE HER!! XD XD <3 <3

...what the...

...did she just...vanish??

....????

NOOO POOR CHARLIE!! She finally had another relationship! GOD DA**IT!!

...poor Charlie. :’( :’( :’(

I remember Stevie from the second episode of this season. I didn’t remember her name though.

Awww...Charlie.

...they don’t seem that surprised. Uh-oh...

...poor Charlie. :’( :’( :’( :’(

SHE DESERVES A GOOD LIFE GOSH DARNAT!!

Awww... <3 <3

MY BABY LOOKS SO SAD!!!

OMG THAT BANTER WAS ADORABLE!! XD XD <3 <3 <3

PROMO PIC!! THESE ADORABLE LITTLE BOIS!! <3 <3 <3

Awww...baby. :’( :’( :’(

Baby it’s okay. We’d rather have you here, we promise.

He’s choking up oh my goodness Alex how dare you be such a good actor.

BABY YOU’RE HERE FOR US!! YOU’RE HERE FOR YOUR FAMILY!! <3 <3

YAAAASSS CAS!!!

“We care about you because you’re you.” OH MY GOD I’M GONNA CRY THAT’S SUCH A GOOD LINE!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Jack that should’ve made you smile so much more than it did please stop beating yourself up you deserve happiness and love and they’re giving it to you because they love you gosh darnat. :’( <3

...awww...

YOU CAN BE THERE!! THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS!!

AWWW!!! :’( :’( :’(

“Me too.” AND THEN WITH THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER AHHH!!! <3 <3 <3

They need to hug.

Hug please.

Dangat.

That’s okay. I’ll still take that. Good scene.

HA!

Well, okay, Sam. Don’t sugarcoat it.

Okay but, like, gotta be honest...I don’t think it’s Billie. Cause...these people are vanishing just like Becky did...like Chuck made her.

Charlie... :’( :’( :’( :’(

Charlie no! It’s not like that.

:’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

...no likey.

NO NO NO NO NOOOO!!!

She has to be fine.

GO GO GO!!!

My ending has Sam ending up with Eileen at the end. She better not be dead.

Oh thank goodness. That’s a text thread. Good.

But, like...if people are vanishing, what do they do? How do they protect her?

....it’s gonna stop isn’t it.

FRICK!!

NO NO NO NO NO!!!

NO!!!

DA**IT!!!

IS THIS GONNA KEEP HAPPENING??!!

IS THIS WHAT MY FRIENDS WERE TALKING ABOUT??!!

THE WAY DEAN JUST REVS IT AND SPEEDS UP OMG. <3 <3 <3 <3

Please Eileen...please let it be a fluke.

...she’s not standing there.

It’s not a fluke. :’( :’( :’( :’(

HER BACKGROUND IS SAM OH MY GOD!!

THEY WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!! :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3

GOD DA**IT SUPERNATURAL!! :’( :’( :’( :’(

...poor Sam. :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Dean’s little supportive “Sammy” oh my god.

Oh my god Sam. :’( :’( :’( :’(

I’m crying already ahhh. :’( :’( :’(

Sam you’re so strong omg you poor thing. :’( :’( :’(

HE DESERVES A GOOD LIFE TOO GOSH DARNAT!!

WAIT NO!! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY!! BAD THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN YOU SPLIT THE PARTY!!!

Okay that’s awesome though.

But also don’t split the party.

Well frick.

OOH!! DOES THIS MEAN WE’RE GONNA GET SOME GOOD OLD DEAN AND CAS CONTENT? CAUSE THAT’S BEEN LACKING RECENTLY!

Oh frick. Something is SOO gonna go wrong, with a hug like that.

But also DEAN GIVING HIS BRO A SUPPORTIVE HUG OMG I LOVE IT!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

And Sam just leaning into it because he totally needs it but he’s trying not to break down but also that’s such a beautiful, subtle thing and I love it. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

That little look and nod just made a tear slip down my cheek (as if I wasn’t already blurry-eyed and crying).

“Let’s go reap a reaper.” PROMO LINE!! <3 <3 <3 <3

DONNA!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Sam being a protective dad and being distracted by checking in on his son I love it. <3 <3

I love my three protective dads in this it’s adorable.

DUDE!!!

JACK DRIVE BABY!!!

OMG SAM I LOVE YOU FOR DOING THAT!!!

HE’S DOING WHAT HE KNOWS WILL DISTRACT HIM AND CHEER HIM UP BECAUSE IT’S WHAT HE DID WITH DEAN AND GIVES HIM SOMETHING TO DO OMG IT’S SO CUTE I LOVE IT!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Whoa. That music change. That was intense.

NICE SHOT OF DEAN!! <3 <3 <3 <3

GO DEAN AND CAS GO!

“Hiya kid.” “Hey.” So soft omg. <3 <3 <3 <3

Awww baby...

THAT HUG!!!

IT WAS IN THE PROMO!!!

AWWW DONNA!!! :’( :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THEY BETTER BE OKAY!!!

I’M GONNA BE REALLY MAD IF THEY’RE NOT OKAY!!!

“Anything you need.” I freaking love Donna. She’s such an under-appreciated character. <3 <3

MY GIRL! <3 <3

YAAAASSS CHARLIE!! <3 <3 <3

Poor thing...

But also I love you and I’m proud of you.

God all of my favorite characters are suffering and losing so much I hate it. :’( :’( :’( :’(

JUST LIKE BACK IN S14!!!

Ha! Bobby omg. XD XD

No.

It probably won’t given our luck.

Awww Sam.... :’(

...there are kids in there.

...which definitely means it isn’t gonna work.

But I’m gonna be optimistic and let myself get crushed anyways.

Awww Donna....

Awww Jack..... :’(

UMMMMMM

....what??

What just happened??

That is so not cool.

That is completely against everything Jack is what?

No.

Not okay.

Don’t tell me he destroys anything he touches now.

I don’t know how that would’ve happened.

But no.

....uh oh.

That’s too easy.

Run boys.

OH MY GOD DID SHE JUST--

OH MY GOD SHE JUST--

“Hello boys.” HOLY FRICK I’M WHEEZING HOW DARE SHE MAKE ME LAUGH!! XD XD

HA!

GET HER DEAN!

But also run because this is too easy.

EEEEEE!! I DIG A BADA** DEAN!!!

God she’s such a good villain, but also screw you Billie!!

PROMO SCENE!!!

DEAN HURRY!!!!

YES!!!!

GO DEAN!!!!

GET HER!!!

IT’S CHUCK!!!

I FREAKING KNEW IT!!!

...dangat.

We can’t do anything about that....

PROMO SCENE!!

SYMBOLS ARE GONNA LIGHT UP!

YEP! I WAS RIGHT!

I over-analyze those promos way too much lol.

Wait...for what?

It has to be!

NOOOO. No likey.

FRICK!

DANGAT!

I KNEW IT!

NO NO NOOOO!!!

OH MY GOD NO!

THIS WAS IN THE PROMO!

CHARLIE NOOOOO!!!! :’( :’( :’(

BOBBY. NO!!!!

WE’RE LOSING EVERYBODY NOOO!!!

Oh no.

No no no no no.

Not Donna.

Don’t you dare.

Tell me it’s not true.

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

HA!

WELL TAKE THAT BILLIE!!

ATTABOY DEAN!!!

Wait nooooooo.

That’s bad!

Nope nope nope.

Run you two.

OMG that little moment.

Cas stepped protectively in front of Dean, and then Dean immediately pulled him back and out of harms way. <3 <3 <3

PROMO!

BILLIE IS SCARY AHHH!!

RUN YOU GUYS!!!

Good call.

But also how do you run from a cosmic entity??

Oh my god...

Jack’s face...

Sam’s face...

:’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

DOES THIS MEAN JODY AND THE GIRLS ARE GONE TOO??!!

OH GOD I DON’T WANNA THINK ABOUT THAT.

Dean talking to himself. <3

HEY!!!

STOP THAT!!!

PROTECTIVE CAS! <3 <3 <3 <3

BILLIE GO AWAY!!! NO ONE LIKES YOU!!

SCREW YOU BILLIE!!!

YEAH IT DOES, AND IT BETTER F**ING STAY THAT WAY!!!

HA!

YES CAS! WAY TO GET HIM OUT OF THERE! <3 <3 <3

“I’ve got you.” <3 <3 <3 <3

PROMO!

No.

It’s never time.

Shut up Billie.

NO!

LEAVE THEM ALONE!

YES CAS!!

SO PROTECTIVE I LOVE IT!! <3 <3 <3 <3

YES CAS!!! WAY TO GO YOU AMAZING ANGEL YOU!!!

...uh oh.

PROMO!

....no likey.

Come on you two...you can do this.

YES CAS! <3

Dean...don’t do that to yourself. :’( :’( :’( :’(

Not now baby. We need you. You need to be strong. You can do this.

Awww Dean. :’( :’( :’( :’(

I feel a big emotional scene coming.

PROMO OMG NOOO!

Dean honey. :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Dean. :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Cas’s look...

Dean’s so sad. :’( :’( :’(

CAS HAS AN IDEA!!!

The Empty??

Oh wait...

Is he...

HE’S GONNA TELL HIM!!

WAIT!!

WAIT HOLD ON A SECOND!!

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING CAS??!!

Dean’s face...

..........!!!!!

WAIT A MINUTE!!

WAIT!

MINUTE!!

IS THIS DESTIEL??!!

IS! THIS?! DESTIEL?!

OH MY GOD I’M GONNA CRY!! THE WAY HIS VOICE IS CRACKING!!

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I’M CRYING!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

MISHA’S ACTING RIGHT NOW OMG!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

OH MY GOD CAS OH MY GOD MISHA OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!

“You raise your little brother for love.” :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

OH MY GOD CAS!!! :’( :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

....my reactions might wind up getting slim because I’m really starting to cry.... :’( :’( :’( :’(

“Because of you.” :’( :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3

“You changed me, Dean.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

WAIT NOOO!!! CAS NOOOO!!! DON’T DO IT!! :’( :’( :’( :’(

HOLY FRICK!!!

HOLY FRICK HOLY FRICK HOLY FRICK!!!

GUYS!!!!

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!!

DESTIEL JUST BECAME CANON!!!

“I love you.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“The one thing I want, it’s something I can’t have.” <3 <3 <3

THAT IS DESTIEL PEOPLE!!

IT IS CANON!!!

TWELVE YEARS!!!

AND DESTIEL IS CANON!!!!

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING!!

WAIT NO NO NO I TAKE THAT BACK I DON’T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING!!!

“Don’t do this, Cas.” :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

OH MY GOD NOOOOO!!!!

THE HANDPRINT!!!! :’( :’( :’( :’(

WTF!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!

....

I can’t...

I can’t type...

I’m hyperventilating.

There are tears just streaming.

WTF??!!

DID THEY SERIOUSLY JUST INFINITY WAR THIS SH**??!!

ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME??!!

YOU HIT ME WITH CAS??!!

AND THEN THIS??!!

I can’t type...

.....

HOLY.

FRICK.

Just so we’re clear.

I am writing this review portion.

A good two hours after watching that episode.

And I’m still crying.

Even thinking about everything that just happened.

What.

The.

F**k.

WTF WAS THAT??!!

DID THEY JUST--

DID THEY ACTUALLY--

*SCREAMS*

Okay, let me try this again, and I’m gonna try extra hard not to burst into tears this time.

That.

Was.

Epic.

Oh my god.

Between all of the s**t that’s going down in the world (and yes, I saw all the memes), THIS was the LAST thing I was expecting.

DESTIEL.

IS.

CANON.

CAS.

IS.

DEAD.

GUYS!!!

SERIOUSLY HELP!!!

I...I can’t even process.

Destiel is canon.

Supernatural is Avengers: Infinity War.

Jack destroys anything he touches.

And meanwhile, Nevada is still counting votes, and Putin stepped down.

Man. This is a day.

Everything hurts.

And I’m still crying.

Okay.

Despite all of the emotional trauma that this has caused, I’m going to try really hard to analyze this episode like I usually do.

Let me just start with: wow.

The cinematography in this was incredible, and Richard Speight’s acting was genius. Everything about this episode--visuals, music, set, everything--was just so brilliantly done and flowed so beautifully together. The scene changes, the transitions, the build-up of tension--it was beautiful.

They hit those emotions right from the start, in big ways and subtle ways. Between putting beloved characters in danger, to killing some of them off entirely, to little hugs and smiles and words spoken, I was just as shaky and teary-eyed as I was last week.

And all of it--all of it--culminated into one of the most beautiful scenes that this show has ever created. The amount of raw emotion that was in that Destiel scene was beautiful. The facial expressions of Cas and Dean were so clearly conveying how they felt--how deep Cas’s love truly was, and how scared and confused Dean was. The script. Those lines. The delivery. All of it put meticulously together, piece by piece, in a terrifying, emotional, tension-filled sequence that made something happen that the show has needed for years.

We finally got Destiel.

And then to have it ripped away, just like that, because Cas was finally happy. Cas was finally happy because he told Dean how he felt, and because he could go out doing the one thing he’d always wanted to do--love him so much that he had to save him.

Holy.

Freaking.

Cow.

Look.

I was not a Destiel shipper from Day 1, okay? I wasn’t. I always saw their relationship as a brotherhood, and a friendship, and a special bond.

But as the years went on, and I continued re-watching old episodes and comparing them to new ones, I started to see the Destiel relationship for what it was.

And let me tell you right now: this scene? This was the final icing on the cake.

If you didn’t already see the Destiel, then this...this should’ve done it.

Because wow.

And while we’re talking about “wow”...

Misha Collins.

Misha.

F***ing.

Collins.

Holy god almighty.

That was an INCREDIBLE acting moment.

That was an Oscar-winning, Emmy-winning, stardom performance from a true legend.

The way he conveyed all of that raw emotion, and the way the tears fell as he just let it all out. Every pronunciation fo every word was so deliberate and done in just the right way.

And to end it all with the most satisfied, happiest look as his character gave his life for the man he loved.

As he pushed his lover away and left a bloody handprint behind.

Misha F***ing Collins is a F***ing Rockstar.

Holy sh**.

That could not have a been a better ending for Castiel.

All of the parallels, and all of the callbacks, and everything that has happened between Cas and Dean came to a head in that very moment.

And as much as I cried, and as much as I will still be crying for a long, long time...

It was beautiful.

Then, after all of that, to just top it all off with everyone disappearing, Infinity War style, and to end on that scene of Dean crying, head in his hands, on the floor, weeping, his only remnant of his lost love staining his shoulder.

And Sam and Jack, just staring into the nothingness that is the rest of the world before staring at each other, lost, and confused, worried that the rest of their family is dead and gone and they’re the only ones left.

I have no words.

I cannot describe how incredibly horrifying, and hurtful, and emotional, and beautiful that entire episode was.

From start to finish, it was a true masterpiece. And I cannot say that enough.

With two episodes left, I have no idea where this is going to take us next.

I don’t know if Cas is going to come back.

I have a feeling he isn’t. Not with an ending like that. At least, not in a way we might expect.

But I do think we’ll get a resolution to the Destiel moment. I think Dean will have a moment where he wishes he could’ve had the courage to say it back, or a moment where all we see is him grieving, just as Sam grieves Eileen.

And I wonder if, when all is said and done, Cas will come back in some other way--in heaven, or in dreams, or in some form. Because that would be a good way to do it, in my opinion.

But beyond that, I don’t know what’s next for Sam and Dean and Jack.

I have a feeling that, like Infinity War (I’m sorry, but that’s totally what it reminded me of), not everyone will stay dead. My hope is that they’ll be brought back somehow. After all, that’s what our boys are all about, right?

But honestly, I don’t know anymore.

Any theories I had about the deaths of future characters or the survival of others was thrown out the window by Cas’s death in this episode, and honestly, I’m going to be crying about that for the foreseeable future. I’ll never get over it, but at the same time, I won’t even not love it, because it was perfect, and with it came Destiel.

That’s honestly all I can say. The tears are still falling, and my heart is still aching, but god da**it, that was a good episode.

My Rating: 25/10 (These numbers are just going to keep getting higher and higher, aren’t they? I probably should’ve started lower...)

P.S. I honest to god am still trying to process all this, so I’ll react to the promo tomorrow night. <3

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