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browniefox · 3 years

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The Spectral Turnabout 2/?

Chapter 2! Last chapter was about Phoenix when he got introduced to the spectral world, this one is about Miles :D

oOo

Miles passed out in the elevator with a scream ringing through the air, one that will haunt his dreams, haunt his footsteps, haunt his every moment for the next fifteen years.

When he woke up, his world had been turned on its head.

When he’s a little older, Miles goes through the events over and over and over until the story makes sense, until he knows the events forwards and backwards. It goes like this:

Miles got into the elevator with his dad and Yanni Yogi. There was an earthquake. The elevator became stuck. The oxygen ran low. Yanni Yogi started attacking his dad. Miles threw the gun. A shot rang through the elevator, and the scream chased Miles in darkness as he passed out. And Miles goes crazy.

The days after The Event are a blur, are foggy, and they tell him it’s from the trauma mixed with the lack of oxygen. What Miles does know is that when he’s capable of forming memories again, he sees things that aren’t really there. Creatures, monsters that lurk in the corners, brightly colored mist coming off of them. An energy that Miles could see coming off of himself in muted purple waves.

They said Yanni Yogi’s lawyer had him plead insanity. Brain damage due to the lack of oxygen. There was a precedent for it.

Miles was an orphan for six months before Manfred von Karma adopted him. Miles’ used those six months to perfect ignoring what he could see. He didn’t want to think about how he’d be treated, how people would look at him, if they knew something had snapped in his head from The Event. Even more so once he was under Von Karma’s roof. Imperfection was not tolerated. So Miles would be perfect. He was perfect.

He was a perfect child, who most certainly didn’t see things that weren’t there.

oOo

Pess was the first spirit to ever speak to Miles.

It’d been an entire year since the accident. It wasn’t always easy to act completely normal. When the figments of his imagination actually come into contact with him, he felt phantom pressure, and a time or two they’d run into him with enough force to bowl him completely over. No, that was wrong, they didn’t run him over. Miles tripped or something, and for some reason his brain had decided to place a make-believe monster as the reason.

Pess had slipped into Miles bedroom in the evening, straight through the walls. She had landed on the floor, curling up into a tight little ball in the corner. Miles hadn’t thought much of her at first, aside from allowing himself to openly track her movement. He was in the safety of his room, he’d allow himself to look.

This one imaginary monster was shaped like a very curly-furred greyhound, if greyhounds had tails longer than their bodies, three pairs of legs, and wings instead of ears. The back two pairs were bird feet instead of paws, and there was another set of wings tightly closed onto the monster’s back.The colored mist coming off of her matched Miles’ own to a ‘T’, but something looked off about it.

Miles shot a look to his door, making sure it was still closed, and then for extra good measure he locked it and pulled the curtains shut over the window. Then, he got a little closer to the creature that wasn’t real, staring. The mist usually came off of things like steam off of warm water, but for this creature it was also coming from spots that closely resembled would. She had gouges in her sides and bite marks on her legs, long scratches down her snout.

The hallucination opened one of her eyes and then flinched back at how close he was. Miles responded in kind, head whipping around to check the door once more. He felt like he’s standing at the precipice of something dangerous here, of showing so much acknowledgement to something that isn’t really there, but his curiosity still has a hold on him.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t realize a spectral lived here, I-I’ll, um, I’ll…” The thing got to her feet, all six of them, and shook her coat.

“Wait…!” Miles whispered, and then slapped a hand over his mouth, going bright red and shame filling him. This was too much, talking to her was a step too far. But then, she actually stopped, and turned her big and warm brown eyes on him. “Wh… what did you call me?”

“A spectral? You are one, right? In fact, we match.” She said. Miles couldn’t deny that.

“I don’t know what that is.” He admitted, sitting back. Why would a hallucination use a word he doesn’t know?

“It means you can see us.” She explained.

“‘Us’?”

“Spirits.”

Miles looked at the door again and raised a hand to bite one of his nails before yanking the hand down.

“Come on,” He said and crawled underneath his bed and the hallucination - the spirit? - followed after him, “Tell me more about spirits.”

The spirit introduced herself as Pess, and she explained how spirits weren’t ghosts, really, but more like the conglomerations of leftover energy from dead things. Spectrals were people who were still alive but could see them. There were very few of them, to the point that Miles was the first one Pess had ever met.

It seemed like far too convenient an explanation. Oh, yes, Miles wasn’t crazy, he was just special, like a character out of a book his teacher’s used to read out loud to the class before he switched schools.

“I don’t believe you.” Miles told her right to her face. “Ghosts don’t exist.”

“Oh.” Pess rested her head on her front paws, looking over at him sadly. “Well, why can’t they?”

“If they did, then…” Miles trailed off. He opened his mouth and closed it, unable to form the words. He didn’t like thinking about The Incident, and definitely not talking about it. But… but if spirits were real, if ghosts were real, then why did Yanni Yogi get proven innocent? Why would Misty Fey claim to have channeled his dad, and his dad to have said it was Yanni Yogi.

No, Miles needed to remember to focus on what was real, what was physical, what he had evidence for.

Pess seemed to understand anyway. The wings on her head closed up tight and her tail swept over to rest on Miles’ hand. It felt soft and warm. No, it was the heater kicking on somewhere, a gust of warm air, and the broken part of his mind had decided to make the hallucination align with it just so.

“I need to go to bed.” Miles said out loud. He did not say it to Pess, because Pess wasn’t real.

“Okay,” Pess asid, and while Miles crawled out from under the bed, she simply phased right through it to sit on his bed and then settled on top of the blanket. She didn’t so much as rumble the comforter, because of course she didn’t. “Uh, Spectral, I don’t want to bother you, but…?”

Miles knew he should set himself straight again. He’d been working on ignoring what wasn’t there for a year now, he should be better than this. And yet, Miles found himself sighing and looking at her.

“But?”

“Spirits can heal on their own, but they heal faster around a spectral with a color that matches their own. C-could…? Could I stay here? Until I’m better?” She begged. She had the puppy-dog eyes down pat.

Miles cast another look to the door, clenching his hands into fists until his fingernails were embedded into his palms.

“Okay. Yeah, okay. Just until you’re better.”

oOo

Pess didn’t leave after she was healed up.

Sometime between that night and the time wounds had closed up, Miles had become used to her presence. One would think that having a figment of his imagination that he did acknowledge at time would make things worse, and that was what Miles had feared at first, but he’d found he didn’t deny the comfort of cuddling close to her at night, and she never complained if he ever hugged her too tight when he had nightmares. She followed him everywhere, at first so she might heal up quicker, but Miles found himself enjoying her constant presence at his side.

It certainly made him feel a little less lonely at school. He hadn’t had much luck yet making friends. Manfred von Karma insisted that Miles didn’t need to think about things like that. Miles nodded to that in perfect agreement.

Pess was very soft, very nice, and very excitable. She always seemed able to pick up on when Miles was starting to get anxious and would come over and rub her face against his hand. He couldn’t say anything to her, or look at her, or purposefully try to touch her. At least, not out in public. He only allowed himself to indulge in that sort of thing when he was sure nobody else could see him, and even then he only ever talked to her in low and quiet whispers both he and pess could barely hear, let alone anybody who might try to listen in.

He asked her, once, if she’d ever wanted to leave. She must’ve done something before being here, being with him. She’d stopped chasing a smaller ‘spirit’ around his room and looked over him, cocking her head, a doggish grin on her face.

“Why would I leave? I have you now.”

He wondered if she’d been alone before she’d met him. He didn’t ask. He felt he knew the answer.

He tried to convince himself over the years that he was passed needing her there for him. She was nothing more than an imaginary friend. He got older, he shouldn’t need it her, he shouldn’t like having her there. A couple times he’d even managed to find somewhere far and secluded and yell at her to go away, to leave, to let him finally be closer to perfect.

Both times, Pess did leave, tail between her legs.

Both times, it hadn’t sat well with Miles and he’d gone out late at night searching the city and calling her name until he found her.

The older he got, the more he realized he didn’t ‘leak’ spectral energy constantly. It surged particularly when he had intense emotions. He seeked that out, stifling his emotions, burying them so he came off self-assured. He asked if there was a big reason for the energy, telling himself he was just curious of what his mind would come up with to explain it, and pess told him she wasn’t really sure. She knew spirits were made of it, and she’d heard rumors of spectrals being able to do something about that, but again, he was the first spectral she’d ever met.

The habit of her accompanying him to court came about naturally. Where he went, Pess went, and where did he need her more than during a case?

Miles found a balance of almost-nearly perfect that he told himself was Perfection.

It had to do.

#paranatural #pnat #ace attorney #miles edgeworth #pess #au #browniefox writes #the spectral turnabout

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ravens-rambling · 6 years

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Figured I should make a masterpost eventually so here you go~

FICS:

Small and Broken, but still Family (One-shot) - Platonic LAMP/CALM Winged! Virgil, Virgil gets sick but tries to push through it just like before. But this time’s different. This time he has a family to look after him. Though his fear of his new family finding out about his secret gets in their way, and his way, to recovery.

Loved (Multi-chapters-Complete) Platonic LAMP/CALM Touched Starved Virgil, Virgil is touch-starved and doesn’t know how to ask for help until it becomes too much. Part 2, Part 3

Why did you do it? (Multi-chapters- Complete) Platonic LAMP/CALM Winged! Virgil, Ever since Deceit had made his presence known to Thomas he has been getting stronger. Slowly he’s been tormenting Virgil until one night where Virgil wakes up covered in his own blood and without his wings. Thinking his family did it he is left betrayed and hurt… Part 2

Flexibility, Love, and Trust- (One-shot)- Platonic Moxiety, Virgil having a bad nightmare and goes to Patton to calm him down. And what happens when they recently had a Steven Universe marathon night? You guessed it, a sing-a-long.

I, we, love you Virge! - (One-shot)- Platonic LAMP, Based off of a comic featuring our favorite doctor! Virgil meets a stranger with the help of Logan and Patton.

Burnout - (Multi-chapters- Uncompleted) Prinxiety, What happens when Thomas goes through a ‘Creative Burnout’?

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming - (One-shot) - Prinxiety, It properly would help Virgil if, for once, he would be less secretive about himself and open up to the others now is that time going to be today? Properly not.

“You just don’t understand what it’s like.”- (One-shot)- Platonic LAMP/CALM, Sometimes when Roman comes up with a ridiculous idea it causes the sides to fight, and when Roman fights he says things he..doesn’t mean to.

Scared to Love- (One-shot)- Romantic Logicality, Logan doesn’t think he is touch starved despite everything in him itching for contact. He pushes these feelings and emotions aside. What happens when that breaks? A certain father figure will help him piece together himself once again and help him realize its okay to want contact.

“You are safe now.” - (One-shot)- Platonic Analogical, Centaur AU!, Even though Virgil has been at Thomas’s farm for quite some time now, along with some new folks, he still can’t seem to let his guard down around them. But when he desperately needs help, when his freedom is almost stripped from him yet again, a certain large centaur helps him and fights back.

You are Purrfect- (One-shot)- Platonic Moxieity, Before romantic Prinxiety, It’s been a few weeks since the light sides accepted the emo side into their family. The first time they included Virgil into their family movie night they discovered a secret about the very cat-like side that no one expected.

"Please don’t be mad at me.” - (One-Shot) Romantic Analogical, When Virgil doesn’t get much rest for a while it always leads to disastrous things..followed closely by disastrous thoughts. Luckily a certain calm logical side, that has been by his side through everything, will help calm the anxious side down and assure him that he will never get upset with him.

These New Feelings - (Multi chapters- Uncompleted) Romantic Logicality, Romantic Prinxiety, Platonic Moxiety, It didn’t take long for Patton to realize that he has romantic feelings towards a certain side, but fearing heartbreak he keeps it hidden. When the others find out they help him the best they can. Does Logan return these feelings or is it what Patton feared, is it one-sided?

My Special Star in the Sky - (One-shot) Romantic Logicality, Logan can comprehend almost everything the world has to offer. But the one thing he can’t understand? Emotions, romance, and a certain other side. Emotions will be the bane of his existence after all.

First Cuddle - (One-shot) Romantic Analogical, When Virgil woke up to knocks at his door at the dead of night he for sure was not expecting the logical side. And he definitely was not expecting Logan wanting comfort from him of all sides. But here he is…

Love like you- (One-shot) Romantic LAMP, romantic DLAMP, platonic Moceit, When Deceit isn’t sure if he could fit into this ‘family’ cause of how freakish he looks he takes matters into his own hands, luckily a certain dad side is there to calm those thoughts and to assure to the lying side that sure it might be rocky and tough at first. But Ohana means family right?

Warm- (One-Shot) Romantic LAMP, Virgil is feeling lonely and cold but when the others are busy he decides not to bother them even when it starts becoming too much. Luckily his boyfriends comfort him and give him all the comfort and warmth he needs.

Orange you pumped for Halloween?- (One-Shot) Romantic LAMP, It’s Virgils second year with his family, with his boyfriends, and he remembers something about last year that causes him to raise some eyebrows. The answers he gets are a bit…surprising, to say the least.

Conclusion: Jumping in Leaves is quite..satisfactory- (One-Shot) Romantic Logince-Monster Sides AU!, Roman finds a way to baffle and confuse his boyfriend from time to time and its those times where he often wonders why he fell in love with this wolf-like man in the first place. That is until he looks at those red eyes and his manufactured heart beats out of control once again.

Reasons not to let Roman and Patton shop for candy alone - (One-Shot) Romantic LAMP- Human AU!, Logan…may have made a mistake when he let two of his boyfriends to run amock when buying candy…

“Prove it” - (One- Shot) Romantic Logince, Platonic Logicality- Monster Sides AU! , All Logan wants to be is loved, for all his life he’s experienced hatred and fear for what he is. Luckily fate has changed for him as he met a certain vampire a few years back. But during one winters night, he met an unexpected and rather loud creature that sent certain feelings through him. Does this boy harbor same feelings towards him or does he run away like all previous humans before him? Only time will tell…

No caffeine for Virgil - (One-Shot) Romantic LAMP, Platonic Sleepxiety, Romantic October X Remy- Human AU!, When Remy wants Virgil to try out a seasonal drink he wasn’t expecting the consequences. Luckily his boyfriends are there to take care of him while his caffeine high goes down.

Jump out of your skin- (One-Shot) Romantic LAMP, When Thomas is dared to watch a horror movie by Joan Roman’s pride gets in the way and he couldn’t refuse.

Aren’t you scared? - (One-Shot) Romantic Prinxiety, All Virgil wanted to do was go for a little walk what he least expected was to step in the middle of a graveyard with no way out and voices whispering to him. He can’t just have one normal day to relax can’t he?

Falling asleep and looking younger- (One-Shot) Romantic Analogical, When Virgil comes to Logan’s room after a particularly bad nightmare Logan soothes him and manages to calm him down. But something keeps nagging at Logan, something romantic couples are supposed to do, kissing. So Logan decides to kiss Virgil as an ‘experiment’ and the results were...pleasant.

Speak with such a screech- (One-Shot) Romantic Analogical, Virgil is up late one night when he hears a sudden yell through the darkness. When he finds the source it isn’t something he expected.

This is Halloween- (One- Shot) Romantic LAMP, Roman agrees to a bet to enter a haunted/ abandoned carnival and his boyfriends are not letting him venture in there alone! Even if they encounter something unexpected.

Average height- (One-Shot) Romantic Analogical, “Hey–I’m perfectly average height for my age, thank you very much. You’re the one who’s freakishly tall!”

Snow Day - Part 1- Merman, Romantic Prinxiety- It was a cold winter’s day when Virgil stumbles upon something that he has only seen in nightmares, his love suffering and hurt, the only one who has cared about him his entire life. The only one that has shown him, love, was now hurting and he can’t do much about it. But his frantic mind thinks of something even though it may hurt the merman it’s the only thing he can think of. Art to go with it!

Full of love- (One-Shot) Romantic Logicality, Human AU! Two husbands, Patton and Logan, can never get tired of the love they have for each other. They settle into a quiet lazy dinner their love filling whatever room they are in.

Get your kisses here- (One-Shot) Romantic LAMP, Virgil awakes to a more then normal eagerly happy Roman which can only spell disaster. And he was right when he only saw what his boyfriends have done with the living room. But no matter to him, it only makes him kiss all his boyfriends even more now. Not that he’s complaining. His boyfriends on the other hand…? May have made a mistake and created a monster in the process.

Ice Ice Baby- (One-Shot) Romantic Logince, Logan has an argument with his boyfriend, Roman, which didn’t get to him. Despite the fact that he appears to be crying. But no it doesn’t get to him, he can’t let his emotions show right?

Secrecy - (One- Shot) Romantic Prinxiety, Even though the light sides don’t accept the particularly dark side, one of them has fallen in love with him. Now they have to keep it a secret from the others no matter what despite their aching hearts. The dark side has to spend the holidays alone without his partner there...

“I will always be there to protect you.” - (One-Shot) Romantic Prinxiety, Human AU!, When Roman gets a call at a late hour he wasn’t sure what to expect. He certainly wasn’t expecting his best friend and emo to be calling him in the middle of a panic attack. He rushes over to Virgil’s house and calms him down bringing him to his home. The next day he gets a special Christmas gift, one that he never thought would come.

Putting up the cheer - (One-Shot) Romantic DLAMP, It’s Christmas which means putting up Christmas lights! Though Roman being Roman he doesn’t quite listen to the others luckily Deceit is there to save the day, grumbling all the while.

Rain Day- (Multi-chapters- complete?) Romantic Analogical, It was a lazy day in the mindscape when Logan got approached by a nervous Virgil wanting cuddles. Now how can he say no to that? But while they were cuddling he found something rather…odd that the other side does… Hug

Simply Meant To Be- (One-Shot) Romantic Analogical, Logan and Virgil had been together for four years now and today is Virgil’s birthday. Even though Virgil seems to have a curse placed on him on every one of his birthdays Logan is instant on proving him wrong. Does he accomplish his goal or is Virgil simply cursed that not even his beloved can break him out of?

Snow Equals Pain- (One- Shot) Romantic Remile, What happens when you mix snow and a gay boi who’s very sensitive to bright lights? And even more so a very hyperactive gay boyfriend of this gay boi? Not a very good thing that’s what.

Sick - (One-Shot) Romantic LAMP, This was their once in a blue moon break and they were going to spend it by picking out their Christmas tree. Course, Virgil being Virgil, tries to hide the fact that he is sick. Luckily his boyfriends are there to reassure him that its okay he’s sick and to take care of him.

“I can’t do this, Roman.” - (One-Shot) Romantic Logince- Human AU!, Logan has a problem, he loves Roman Prince. The guy who is the most popular kid in school and...is his bully. But during one chilly rainy day his dream comes true, Roman confesses he loves him too. But Logan...can’t stay the same thing back not yet at least.

Bedrooms and Relief- (One-Shot) Romantic Prinxiety- Mario AU!, Roman is starting to get worried that his love is never going to wake up. Bowceit has kidnapped him and tortured him before they could save him. Its been days since then. That is until Roman is startled awake by a very familiar voice. Is his love really awake? Really with him once again or is he just dreaming again?

“Are you sure about this?”- (One-Shot) Romantic Prinxiety, It was supposed to be a date for the two sides. And of course, before the two sides knew it things just had to turn a very violent turn.

Calm Radiates In His Chest- (One-Shot) Romantic LAMP- Human AU!, Everyone has bad days and that includes a certain bubbly boi. Normally he hides it from everyone and hides away for the day. But his boyfriends are not having any of that.

Sweet Tooth - (One-Shot) Romantic Logicality, Romantic Prinxiety, Patton has a bad sweet tooth, unfortunately, there are no snacks in the mindscape until a certain Creativity side comes back. But Logan goes out of his way to assure that his love doesn’t go too long without any sweets. Even though Patton has the most sweetest love he can ever have right there.

~Send me a word and I’ll write three sentences based on it prompt~

Ticklish- Romantic Logicality

Love- Romantic Analogical

Nightmares- Platonic Moxiety

Afraid- Romantic Loceit

Villian - Platonic LAMP

Rain - Romantic Logicality

Candles- Romantic Logince

Solace- Sympathetic Deceit

Vague- Romantic Prinxiety

Cute- Romantic Logicality

Yeet- Platonic Analogince

Soup- Romantic Prinxiety

Cats- Platonic LAMP

Heartache- Romantic Logicality

Moth- Romantic Logince

Karaoke- Romantic Logicality

Growl- Romantic Analogical

Boop!- Romantic Logicality

Butterfly kisses- Romantic LAMP

Calm down- Romantic Anxceit

Pool- Romantic LAMP

Calm- Romantic Prinxiety, Romantic Logicality, Platonic LAMP

Manhandling- Romantic Prinxiety

Bled- Romantic Prinxiety

Oof - Romantic LAMP

Consciousness - Romantic Logince

Sleepy- Platonic Moxiety

Alone- Romantic Prinxiety

#masterpost

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rustandruin · 6 years

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we found ourselves some treasures

AO3

If anyone would have told him even a month ago that he’d be folding and sorting what appears to be hundreds of freshly laundered baby clothes, he’d have laughed in their faces.

But a lot’s changed since then.

Or, Aaron thinks about the events leading up to Seb's moving in.

If anyone would have told him even a month ago that he’d be folding and sorting what appears to be hundreds of freshly laundered baby clothes, he’d have laughed in their faces.

But a lot’s changed since then.

He’s got his husband back, for one. And he’s found that his heart is gripped by a new, different kind of worry, for another.

Because that’s what he’s begun to do now; worry about a little boy who isn’t always in his care, and could have burned to death the day before, if he hadn’t shown up just in time.

Only, as Robert keeps reminding him — almost as if he himself needs to remember — he had, and everything’s fine. Or at least as fine as it can be, considering the person who was meant to be Seb’s primary caregiver has a terrible brain injury that she’ll never recover from. And as much as Robert says he’s not worried about it, Aaron knows better. He’d felt him tossing and turning all night, barely even landing one of his usual sleep-induced kicks. (For that, Aaron actually is a little grateful. His shins could do with a break. He’d forgotten about this particular habit of the older man’s. Not that he minds it too much. It’s almost reassuring now to startle awake and realise that yes, that was Robert kicking him in his sleep.)

It’s what prompted him to come to the decision to ask Robert to have Seb move in with them in the first place. He hadn’t liked thinking about what could happen when he’s not around — and at least this way, he can be.

They both can be.

Because he’d meant what he’d said about loving that little boy as much as he loves Robert. And if the sheer terror he’d experienced before breaking down Vic’s door last night had been any indication, he’s already found his way there. (And if the recurring swell in his chest as he looks over at the sofa and sees both father and son fast asleep in the middle of “tummy time” is proof of anything, it’s that he’s been there a while.)

He’s not sure when it actually began.

But he’d first noticed it when Robert had been in the shower that first night they’d had Seb over at the Mill. He’d been lying on the bed with the baby beside him, letting him gnaw on his finger because he’d been particularly fussy and this seemed to be the only thing that had gotten him to calm down, when the teething baby had bitten down on it in a way that had actually hurt, seeing as there was the tiny hint of a tooth poking out of his gums now.

“Ow,” Aaron had exclaimed, pulling his finger away. Only when he’d looked down he’d seen Seb give him an almost cheeky smile that could only be described as “100% Robert Sugden” in that he seemed absolutely proud of his recent actions.

“Got anything to say for yourself?” Aaron had asked, shaking his finger to get rid of the pain. But Seb had simply fixed him with a stare and gurgled as if to say, “What? You try growing teeth.”

And just like that, something within him had shifted, because he couldn’t even bring himself to fake scowl at the little boy. All he could do, instead, was jokingly growl, “How would you like it if I did that, eh?” before bending down to blow raspberries on Seb’s small belly. As his ears had filled with the baby’s squeals, he’d thought, I could get used to this.

Their trip to the zoo a few days later had only solidified that desire. He’d been holding Seb and teasing Robert about not carrying a spare change of clothes for himself after being spat up on, when Seb had turned around and returned the favour onto him, as if levelling the playing field for both men. After Robert had taken Seb back — laughing heartily the entire time (“You should have seen the look on your face.”) while the younger man groused at the little boy (“Hey! I thought we had an agreement. You’re only ever supposed to spit up on ya dad.”) — Aaron had headed towards the nearby food stand, eager to get his hand on some fresh napkins so he could contain and treat any damage done.

“You’re a good father,” the older woman had told him approvingly as she’d handed him some napkins. “You both are.”

“Uh, I’m not- Thanks,” he’d responded, unsure what else to say.

He hadn’t really anticipated strangers commenting on his relationship with Seb. It’s not like he’d be able to give every person they’d meet a rundown of the specific circumstances that had landed him in this particular position. And while Robert and him have talked about custody arrangements for Seb, they’ve yet to discuss what title Aaron might want as part of that. (He suspects that it’s something Robert’s been wanting to broach, but hadn’t because he didn’t want to impose. And to be fair, he’s never brought it up because he hasn’t been sure what he even wants to ask for. Dad? Daddy? Papa? Or simply Aaron?)

But as he’d walked back to Robert and Seb, and seen the twin smiles they’d graced him with (Seb even waving his arms about), he couldn’t help but think, Dad doesn’t sound so bad.

This feeling he’d been grappling with, had finally come to a head last night, when somehow he’d managed to still his own rapidly beating heart to insist that Robert leave Seb in his care, while he and Vic took Rebecca to the hospital to get checked. (“He’ll be fine. He’ll be with me.”)

“You know, you’re lucky you only drink milk,” he’d told Seb, as he’d given him his bottle and slowly paced back and forth in the kitchen. “Because I’m an ‘orrible cook. But your dad? He’s amazin’. When you can eat, I’m sure he’ll cook ya whatever ya want. Even if he doesn’t want to… He actually made me a whole Valentine’s Day dinner even though he knew I’d be eating it with someone else.”

Seb had remained still in his arms, calmly drinking away, as if soothed by the sound of his voice, so Aaron had continued, “I’m not sure what I’ll be able to help with. So far it just seems like I’m good for naptime and cuddles. But I promise ya, if you ever need to talk. Or if you’re ever scared of anythin’, you come see me alright? I’ll get you sorted. Even if it’s just about ya dad over-dressin’ ya. Which he does, a lot.”

At that, Seb had released the bottle from his mouth, urgently vocalising, as if to say, “Yes. Tell me about it. What do I need suspenders for?”

Later, when Seb had fallen asleep in his arms, he’d just let him lie there, content to watch the breath gently move in and out of his little body, resulting in the tiniest of snores every once in a while. It’s in that moment he’d fleetingly thought of Gordon and wondered, How can anyone resent anything as little as this?

Because he’s barely known this child a few weeks and he’s already planning future trips to the zoo and to the beach, and worrying about whether he’s warm enough, and if he drank enough, and if babies can have nightmares about near-death experiences. (Google had given him a tentative no on that front, but he hadn’t want to really read about those few experiences that had been the exception to the rule, or be haunted by the thought of Seb remembering the events from that day, so he’d taken that answer for what it was.)

Honestly, if this is even a fraction of the worry he’s caused his mother in recent years then he knows he owes her a million thanks. Because he doesn’t think this feeling will be going away anytime soon, and neither does he want it to.

Eventually, he’d laid the sleeping baby in the crib they’d quickly bought and constructed for him just a few days ago, he and Robert both deciding that it was safer for Seb to sleep on his own in the corner of their bedroom, far away from Aaron’s roving hands and Robert’s kicking feet. As he’d watched the little boy’s eyelids flutter in his sleep, he’d found himself thinking, Maybe we ought to make this more permanent. Just for our piece of mind.

And that’s what had brought them to tonight. A combination of his approaching Robert and making it known that this is what he’d wanted (something the older man hadn’t wanted to ask of him), and luckily, Rebecca coming to that heartbreaking decision on her own, releasing the baby into his and Robert’s care. Because it’s like he’d told his mother earlier in the pub, it’s about doing what was best for Seb.

And looking over at the little boy as he drools onto Robert’s new shirt, he can’t help but feel, This is for the best. Because Robert’s actually getting some sleep, and his heart’s stopped pounding and Seb? Well, at least now his entire wardrobe is in one place, making it easier for the madman he calls a father to pick out the next day’s outfit. Aaron hadn’t known how much of an actual process this was until that first night, when he’d been stuck holding the little boy while Robert had gone through multiple onesies, trying to choose the best one for his big first sleepover at their the Mill. (“Maybe this is why you’re so stressed all the time, you take half a day to choose an outfit,” he’d grumbled between making silly faces to amuse Seb. “Bathtime was ages ago. He’ll catch a chill if you go on like this.”)

As if he senses that he’s being thought of, Seb wakes up, wiggling and babbling into Robert’s chest. (“Excuse me Daddy, but I’m quite over Tummy Time, and would like to do something else.”)

When the older man, who’s still zonked out, doesn’t respond, his soft sounds escalate into louder cries. Aaron immediately puts down the race car onesie he’d been folding, and swoops in to pick Seb up. (Not that Robert notices, he just releases a similar-sounding snore and shifts a little in his seat, his head remaining in its tipped back, neck exposed position.)

Almost immediately, Seb gives the younger man that same little pleased grin — like the infant had known this would work.

“Did you do that on purpose?” He murmurs. But all he gets in response is what seems like a happy little dance, as if to say, “Does it matter? It’s Cuddle Time.”

Aaron shakes his head, but cradles Seb in his arms anyway. He turns, so the baby can see the huge pile of clothes he’s almost done folding.

“You have more clothes than me. Did you know that?” Aaron asks softly, gently swaying from side to side. “We almost didn’t have enough closet space, but your dad moved some of his sweaters into the hallway closet so you’d have more space. You don’t know this yet, but that’s big. Because he has more clothes than both of us combined.”

Seb burbles to himself contently. When Aaron looks down at him, the look on the baby’s face seems to say, “It’s not my fault he keeps buying me clothes.”

Unable to resist the way the baby’s looking at him, Aaron dips his head down to blow a raspberry on his belly. The resulting squeal of delight is as great as he’d expected. So he does it again. And again. Getting the same response each time.

When he goes in for the fourth time, Seb’s giggles are accompanied by some wry chuckling. He turns to see that Robert’s woken up, a slowly sleepy smile on his face as he lays there and watches his husband and son playing together.

“Sorry,” Aaron apologises. “He just really likes it when I do that.”

He then turns his attention back to Seb, who’s now quietly studying him again, as if waiting for Aaron’s next move. “That and he’s been busy winding me up.”

He blows another raspberry, and the little boy explodes into a fit of excited giggles.

Robert doesn’t say anything. Just watches, as the sleepiness slowly fades from his eyes, leaving only affection and gratitude. “You really are amazing.”

“Keep sayin’ that, and we’ll have to make you get a tattoo,” Aaron replies, his cheeks growing warm from the praise. I’m just doing what any good person would do.

Sensing that he doesn’t want to be praised further, Robert changes the topic. “Has Liv come home yet?”

“Not yet, probably still with mum at the hospital,” the younger man informs him.

“Is Lisa feeling any better?” Robert asks as he slowly stretches himself out, his shirt riding up ever so lightly.

Aaron has to remind himself to stay focused as he replies, “Uh, yeah. Mum said she was sitting up and talking, last they saw her.”

“That’s good.” If Robert senses any of his husband’s sudden flash of attraction, he doesn’t say anything, working on rolling the kink out of his neck, instead.

Just then, the front door opens and in walks Liv.

If she’s surprised by the sudden mound of baby clothes, and the toys scattered around their living room, she doesn’t say anything. Though judging from the look on her face, she clearly has bigger things to worry about. Like Lisa.

Aaron clears his throat, preparing to broach the question, when he sees Robert take a step towards his baby sister instead.

“I know this is kind of last minute and that we should have asked you before, but is it okay if Seb moves in with us?” The older man sounds nervous, like he’d been when they’d first discussed telling her that they were back together. “Rebecca’s got a brain injury, and so this is the safest option for him. At least until she gets better.”

“Yeah. That’s fine,” Liv all but shrugs. “He’s here half the time anyways.”

And with that, she’s off, heading up the stairs towards her room.

Aaron and Robert exchange looks. He’s relieved to see that the other man doesn’t quite buy her response either.

“Should I go after her?” Robert asks, his brow furrowing as he tries to work out his next steps.

“Leave it for now,” Aaron tells him, after thinking it over for a few more seconds. “Probably just exhausted from today. Mum made her clean the pub toilets after Bernice caught her and Gabby bunkin’ off school today.”

“Wait. She and Gabby are friends again? When did that happen?” Robert asks, his annoyance showing in his voice. Seb seems to pick up on this, because he lets out a little noise of his own. (“I don’t know what we’re talking about. But I too am mad.”)

“Not quite sure. But I’ll probably have a talk with her tomorrow,” Aaron tells him, as he moves Seb to his other arm. “See what’s goin’ on with her and if she’s really fine with all this.”

Robert gives him an understanding smile. “Let me know when, and I’ll be there.”

Aaron feels his heart grow two extra sizes at the there’s no question about this tone in Robert’s voice. They share a smile and a look that says, I love you, in the way that they’ve gotten quite good at expressing wordlessly.

Seb chooses exactly that moment to let out one of his infamous trumps. Both men, immediately turn to look at the little baby, as he lets out a giggle that seems a little too knowing. (“What? Farts are funny.”)

“If I remember correctly, this one’s your turn,” Aaron declares, handing over the infant with the very warm (and very full) diaper back to his husband, who takes Seb with no complaints.

“Well, it is time for his bath anyway.” Robert says, holding the baby in a way that minimises the odor coming from his butt. “You alright ordering takeaway tonight?”

“I’ll ring for Chinese and join you upstairs, as soon as I’m done with this lot,” Aaron tells him, gesturing at the small pile of as-yet unfolded baby clothes sitting off to the side. “And yes. I’ll bring the Superman onesie.”

“Perfect,” Robert declares with a smile, before coming in for a kiss. “See you soon.”

Aaron watches with a smile of his own, as the blonde turns his attention to the infant in his arms and walks up the stairs. (“Everyone always thinks Batman is Daddy’s favourite, but it’s actually Superman. You know, he has two dads as well...”)

Once they’re out of sight, he fishes out his cell phone and dials their favourite Chinese restaurant, everyone’s preferred orders (including Gerry’s) stored in his memory for moments just like this. He eyes the remaining pile of Seb clothes as he listens to it ring.

If anyone would have told him even a month ago that he’d be folding and sorting what appears to be hundreds of freshly laundered baby clothes, he’d have laughed in their faces.

Now? It’s just another Tuesday.

NOTES:

I wrote this because I couldn't stop thinking about how few things Aaron and Robert wound up packing and taking with them to the Mill. Also because I wanted to explore Aaron's feelings for Seb following recent events. I tried to stay away from insta-love, because as great a guy as Aaron Dingle is, I still believe he needs to work out his own feelings and relationship to Seb (at least a tiny bit, as seen here). If I wasn't successful on that front, please let me know. The last thing I want is for Aaron to sound OOC in any way (I'm a bit nervous that this may have happened here). I also tried to give Seb as much personality as I could, considering he's basically a blank canvas right now.

Also, apologies for not fully exploring them telling Liv any further, but I wanted this to focus on Robert and Aaron and Seb. If you have any thoughts, comments, questions, or concerns, please let me know. Or else find me on Ao3 under her_dark_materials.

#robron #emmerdale #robron fanfiction #robron fanfic #robron fic #her dark materials #rust and ruin writes #seb white #sebastian white #rebecca white #liv flaherty #aaron x robert #aaron dingle #robert sugden #their dark materials

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smuttybronde · 7 years

Text

Disfigured Perfection

Genre- Smut, Angst, Fluff (at end I swear) (WARNING! RAPE, CHEATING)

Group- SF9

Member- Kim Inseong, Baek Juho/ Zuho

Admin- Aussi

You know those couples people look at and wish they could be? Something everyone wanted to experience. That was what Zuho and I were. It was a love that most people never got to experience, but everyone had dreamed of. We had moved in with each other shortly after high school. He was everything I knew and everything I needed.

When I was sad Zuho was the only one who noticed, the only one who held me when I cried. He was the only person to see all sides of me, all emotions I could possibly go through. No matter what the emotion was, he could calm me down within minutes. He was the one solution that worked every time, my own personal healer, a guardian angel.

I walked into the house, smiling slightly. I had a hard day at work but Zuho was here and would hold me till I forgot it completely… But Zuho’s arms were too occupied to hold me, mouth was too busy to speak words of comfort, eyes-instead of reassuring me that all was okay, were locked on someone else.

I stayed silent, face going blank as my emotions shut down. I spun on my heel and entered the kitchen, hands reached for a glass before pouring the bourbon. My hands shook horribly, some of the hard liquor spilling over the sides of the glass. I kept the bottle in one hand and glass in the other as I walked to the living room and sat on the couch, waiting silently. The liquor was his and stung my throat, burning it like poison. I chuckled. It resembled Zuho pretty well, seemingly innocent but it burns you in the end. I drank the glass as if it was water, unaffected by the pain. I poured another glass.

A sudden realization struck me; I was alone now, no one cared. Who would comfort me now when I could only confide in myself? I poured another glass. Someone who looks me in the eyes everyday and swears to love me forever makes love to another in our bed. I wasn't the most beautiful but I was always convinced by him that I was. He told me he fell for my flaws, but if he loved my flaws why did he find someone else? I poured another glass.

They didn't bother to be quiet and I wondered how many times this would need to happen for both to be comfortable being so loud. It wasn't like I came home early, I came home at the same time everyday. Maybe that was part of the problem. I didn't spice it up, we were too perfect… But I wasn't perfect, far from it and that was why he loved me. If I was perfect what would there be to love? I poured another glass. My throat was numb by now, not the the convenience fazed me. A particularly loud scream caused me to gulp down more of the drink. I poured another glass.

There was silence before footsteps echoed closer.

Zuho looked at me with sheer shock and horror but I couldn't find any guilt in his eyes no matter how hard I looked. “Jaeri..” he whispered.

The girl behind him gave me a bright smile as she strutted over to me. She took the glass out of my hand and chugged the bourbon with ease. After she finished, her tongue danced around the entire rim, teasing me. I clenched my fists, holding in my rage. She handed it back, grabbed the bourbon bottle, and poured more liquor in the glass, “Thanks.” She grinned, moving to blow me a kiss. She pulled Zuho in a one sided lip lock before leaving, the door marking a long silence.

Zuho stood in front of me as I sat, taking a step back as I moved to stand. I dumped the contents of my drink out, the bourbon splashing violently against his face, yet his eyes were still locked on mine. I let out a loud cry, throwing the glass across the room until it hit a wall, shattering upon contact. I threw a pillow at the taller male and he let it hit him square in the chest.

I walked into the kitchen, picking up a dish towel and chucking it at him. As a final touch to my onslaught I threw the salt and pepper shakers, the salt grazing stands of his hair. I took another horrified look at him before walking into the bedroom.

The stench of sex was thick in the air, my nose wrinkling as nausea built in my stomach. My hands ripped at the dirtied sheets, tearing them off the bed. I glided back into the kitchen, shoving the sheets into the garbage can and tying the garbage bag. I slung it in the garage, reminding myself to take it out later.

When I walked back into the house Zuho was waiting for me, speaking for the first time, “She slipped me something, Jaeri, I swear.” He said weakly. If she slipped you something why would it suddenly wear off after he saw me? What position was he in to have someone slip him something in the first place?

“I know you wouldn't do it on purpose.” I lied, gritting my teeth together to keep from yelling. I had dated him for so long that I didn't know what it was like not to. As soon as we graduated we were living together, I had never lived alone. Who would protect me when guys on the street couldn't take no for an answer? Who could I confide in if I broke up with him? So i’ll turn the other cheek, after all- no one is perfect.

A relieved grin spread over his face and he slipped his arms around me to pull me in a hug. The giant bent down to kiss me and I cringed away slightly, but he kept moving in.

When his lips touched mine the only thing running through my head was that her lips were here only mere moments before me. That this may not be the first time i've kissed the same lips as her..

Zuho pushed me on the bed and began to spread my legs. I moved to close them but his legs held mine open as he told me not to be shy. He takes off his clothes and I'm hit with the strong smell of sweat, cheap perfume, and sex. Hickeys are dotted across his skin but I force my eyes to ignore them. I don't look at them but I still see them. He’s grinding against me and moaning but I can't return the feeling of pleasure. I reach to hug him- to desperately grasp some comfort- but I only feel the scratches on his back.

He strips off my clothes while I lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling. Zuho lifts my body and turns it around so he can't see my face. I hear a condom package opening and a sense of panic rushes through me but before I could speak he’s pressing into me and im crying out..

He pushed into me with much effort, “Holy shit, you're tighter than usual.” Zuho commented breathlessly. I let out a cry of pain but he didn't notice, or perhaps he just didn't care. I didn't want this. It didn't feel good in the slightest and I felt tears gather in my eyes from the intense pain. I was tighter because I wasn't wet. How could I be aroused knowing he had slept with someone else less than an hour ago?

He continued thrusting into me, claiming he could loosen me up. I let out a scream of pain, “It's that good Baby? You're not usually this vocal.” He smirked, thinking they were pleased cries. I was sure he tore something. I was sobbing at this point. I didn't want this!

“Stop Zuho!” I whimpered loudly, nails ripping into the mattress.

“Why should I stop if you enjoy it as much as me Baby?” He panted.

“Seriously, Zuho, stop it! Please!” I try to thrash around to throw him off- away- anything to make it stop. He just muttered that he wouldn't do it again and stop being pissy. A few more rough thrusts against the tear and he came.

Zuho pulled out immediately, pulled off the condom, and tossed it in the trash can. He didn't even think of making me cum, not that I wanted him to touch me. It was the realization that he didn't care what I thought. I was a doll, “That was great.” He smiled before cuddling up to my stiff and trembling body, unaware of the tear stains on my cheeks.

As soon as I was sure he fell asleep I pushed his body away and hobbled to the bathroom, wincing on the way. I turned the handle of the shower and carefully stepped in, not even caring about the fact that the water was still cold. I scrubbed roughly at my skin with soap, feeling dirty and used. My nails scraping my skin made some blood appeared but I felt nothing even as scalding water burned into the cuts. I didn't want to smell like her.

I washed between my legs and my thighs. I would have to see a doctor about the intense pain, even though I was sure he tore something. I avoided touching near it and ignored it. Ignored that he could do that to me.

I wasn't ever satisfied with how clean I was, only stopping when I ran out of soap and the cold water became unbearable. I roughly dried myself off, changed into new clothes, and went to sleep on the couch. I just didn't want to touch him or visa versa. I refuse to falsely believe he loved me- cared about me when he didn't. This was the first time in years I fell asleep crying alone, knowing there was no one to turn to.

That I was just another speck of dust in the busy city of Seoul.

I woke up at 5:47 am. I normally took multiple phone alarms to wake me up but now I couldn't sleep. The new- found nightmares haunting me had no one to chase them away, not even the person that caused them.

I sat on the couch for a while before deciding to make breakfast. It would take my mind off things and god did I need something to distract me. I cracked open the eggs with expertise, the sound of them cooking filling my ears. Once they were done I moved on to bacon. The grease bubbled a bit before popping, a drop hitting my hands and I hissed, recoiling. I continued to cook despite the burn, attempting to focus on the wondrous smell of the meat.

The stench hit me before I felt him touch me. Even though her perfume shouldn't have been still there after sleep and sex- if you could call what we did sex- it remained strong.

His arms snaked around my waist and even through my clothes I felt the strong urge to itch at my skin. He never showered. I was pressed against his bare chest, gritting my teeth not to shove him away. He betrayed me but he’s all I have, “I slept better last night then I have in years.” Zuho commented, head resting on my shoulder. I felt a pang in my chest. He slept better when I wasn't there.

“That's great!” I choked out, faking a smile. He didn't notice and I felt another pang. After all these years he couldn't tell when I faked a smile.

“You must have slept well too! You even woke up early to make me breakfast,” he kissed my cheek and I flinched slightly before faking a smile.

I thought time would ebb away the pain, or make the memories dissolve as if they were never there...but they didn't. In fact after two months it hurt just as much to pretend we were still a perfect couple without any issues.

Zuho’s arms were slung across my shoulders, the weight of his arm giving me a restless feeling in my gut. I pretended I didn't feel as antsy as I did, we were with a few friends after all. At least I didn't feel the itching sensation that made me want to claw at my skin anymore.

“So you're telling me that you tried to seduce the police officer?” Chani wheezed, face bright red from laughing so hard.

“What else was I supposed to do, i'm piss poor!” Dawon said, exasperated as he threw his hands in the air.

“It was a guy, you really thought it would work?” My boyfriend laughed, smiling brightly.

“I didn't have much of a choice,” He whined, “Besides I could've sworn he was checking me out!” Everyone was practically crying with laughter, well everyone except me, who was forcing a chuckle.

“He was making sure you didn't have any weapons, Dumbass.” Inseong chuckled. Zuho pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist, making me tense up more than possible at the skinship. Inseong’s laughter quieted down as he looked at me.

“I didn't know that! I'm an idiot!” Dawon cried defensively. I ignored the small change in mood Inseong had. If I acted normal there was nothing to be suspicious of.

“We know.” Youngbin commented. Zuho placed a kiss on my lips, causing me flinch instinctively. I let him kiss me back didn't kiss back, not that he minded. Inseong narrowed his eyes, noticing my reaction and noting it wearily.

“Chill out with the kissing you two,” Dawon scolded, “speaking of kissing, I didn't think he would panic over a small kiss, I didn't even use tongue.”

“Didn't think he would panic? He just wanted to give you ticket not get Herpes.”

“I do NOT have Herpes!”

“Ah so Chlamydia then?”

“Hey!” Laughter erupted once again and I stood up. Everyone looked at me and I smiled weakly.

“Bathroom.” I said. In the bathroom I quickly splashed my face with cold water and began to wipe my lips. After I was satisfied with it I walked out of the bathroom to join the group again.

Before I had taken three steps, someone grabbed my wrist. I turned, fist raised to hit someone when I saw a familiar face. I let out a deep breath and chuckled slightly in relief, “Inseong, you scared the hell out of me.”

He just looked blankly at me, I held my breath nervously. “Are you okay, Jaeri?” he said simply. I looked at the protectiveness and concern in his eyes, melting a bit.

“I'm okay.” I replied, hands ruffling his hair gently. And through the lie I gave the most genuine smile I had given anyone in two months. Because I found someone who cared, even for a second.

The doorknob fell from my hand gently as I lost my grip. My feet moved slowly, my body weighing as much as an anchor. Tears built steadily in my eyes. He said he wouldn't do it again, he said he wouldn't do her again. I collapsed on the couch, crying loudly as every moan sent an arrow through me.

I heard the front door close and had the sudden realization that the door was still open. I bolted off the couch to look at who was in the house, surprised that it was Inseong. A grocery bag was in his hand, holding beer and chicken. He looked me in the eyes, shocked that I was crying. He dropped the bags and rushed over to me, embracing me in his arms, hands wiping at my tears as he looked at me. “Jaeri why are you crying?” He asked, “Where is-” a loud moan cut him off.

His face went blank as be looked at me, slowly changing to immeasurable fury, “Who the fuck is that.” He said lowly. My bottom lip quivered, a loud groan coming from the bedroom, “That sound like Zuho.” He growled, voice shaking with rage. He moved to storm into the bedroom but I grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. He sharply looked back at me, eyes softening significantly when he looked at me, “You're letting him do this?” Inseong sounded broken-hearted.

“Just don't,” I whimpered, gazing at his torn face, “please.” His jaw clenched as he stepped closer to me, pulling me into his arms. That's when I lost it. I was still defending Zuho, even while he was fucking some other girl in our bed.

My hands clenched his shirt and his hands rubbed soothing circles on my back. My tears soaked through his shirt and I felt the most vulnerable i've ever felt in front of someone. I hated it but what was there to love about this situation?

We stood like that for a while, rocking from side to side, and attempting to ignore what was going on a few feet from us. We heard the shuffling sounds of feet, I dug my face further in Inseong’s chest so I didn't have to see their faces again. “-eally need to leave before Jaeri comes ho-” Zuho ushered in his deep voice before stopping abruptly.

I pulled away from my Inseongs chest only to see the same girl from two months ago. Be strong, be the bigger person. I looked up and at Zuho, who looked pale. His hair was a mess, lips red and puffy, with bites covering his bare chest. Fuck being strong- that's being weak. She looked at me and smiles in satisfaction, I smiled back at her, making her face sank into slight confusion, “Was it nice?” I asked sweetly and her smirk returned, still slightly weary.

“It was really good. He enjoyed it more than I did though.” She shrugged simply.

“So what's your name?” I asked, sitting on my couch, relaxed. I held a blank facial expression.

“Dasung.”

“Is that your real name or alias?” I asked nonchalantly and her face becoming pinched and perplexed.

“What?” She said, voice slightly higher.

“Don't hookers have fake names?” Her teeth clenched together and anger began to fill her eyes.

“I'm not a hooker.” Dasung hissed

“Ahh I see. So you're a call girl then.”

“I'm not.” She growled. I burst into full on knee slapping laughter, Zuho looked concerned, adding to my laughter. Be confused for all I care. We ignored both of the boys.

“What's so funny?”

“So you're actually such a whore that you will sleep multiple times with a man who is dating someone? Woah, you're really pathetic. Do you sleep with the first person who shows interest because you can't get someone on your own? Men can smell your desperation even if you douse yourself in cheap perfume, sweetheart.”

“People hit on me all the time. I just thought that I would try out your boyfriend because an ugly bitch didn't seem to satisfy him.” And there it was, another attempt at a remark meant to make me crumple into a heap of tears but hell if I was going to give her what she wanted again.

“Sorry I don't give out enough to meet a your standards. Now that we got that out, please get out of my house.” I said this as politely as possible.

“I think he’s going to need me a few more times. Maybe I should stay here.” She said, voice strained. She kept pushing and pushing to hurt me, but the numbness had already set in. With every remark she made I felt the urge to hurt her threefold.

“If you want him, you can have him.” This made her proud facade crack further.

“I'm not into relationships.”

“Prostitute, I forgot. Now please get out.”

“I'm not a prostitute and I'm not leaving!” Her face was red with anger as she shrieked at me.

“I'm sorry, I forgot.” I pulled out my wallet, handing a few twenties to her, Is this enough?” She slapped the money out of my hands and I picked it up.

“Shut the fuck up!” She screamed. I held the money out for her again and she slapped it out of my hands for the second time. I picked it up and threw them at her.

“I said, please get out!” I yelled. She moved to slap me but I caught her hand and pinned it to her side. I slapped Dasung hard enough for her to stumble slightly. Tears ran down her cheeks as she walked out of the house, stilettos clacking loudly. I now turned to look at Zuho, “Why.”

“I was drunk.” He whispers.

Inseong clenched his jaw, stepping in, “And you suddenly aren't drunk?” He hissed.

“I sobered up and stopped once I realized. I can't control myself when i'm drunk, Jaeri you know this!” He plead, begging me to believe him.

“Then stop fucking drinking Zuho!” The other man roared, stepping closer to him. Zuho opened his mouth to say something but before he could Inseong threw a solid punch to his cheekbone. A startled gasp flew from my lips as a blood began to drip from my boyfriends face. The ring Inseong wore had cut his cheek.

The brown haired male moved to pull me out of the apartment but Zuho took a hold of his forearm. Tears fell down from his cheeks and he gazed deeply into my eyes “ Jaeri, please stay. Im sorry, im so sorry!” He gasped.

“If you were sorry then you wouldn't do it again!” I yelled.

“I had to!”

“No you didn't!” I wanted to forget that it ever happened not relive the experience. Once was enough, I didn't need more!

“I JUST WANTED SOMEONE WHO COULD TOUCH ME WITHOUT DISGUST!” He cried.

“I WAS TRYING!” I screamed. I could have left but I tried to pretend it didn't happen, I just...couldn't.

“That doesn't explain why he did it the first time!” Inseong growled, glaring at him.

“I didn't think.”

“You can't just not think about that after so many years with Jaeri!” They each took a step forward when they spoke.

“I just didn't!”

“Why!”

“BECAUSE I WAS BORED OKAY!” Zuho bellowed.

“YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU CAN'T JUST DECIDE YOU’RE BORED ZUHO, WHAT THE FUCK!”

“WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER TO YOU, YOU’RE MY FRIEND!”

“BECAUSE I LOVED HER FIRST!” Inseong howled, “I loved her first...I watched her from afar when she was upset. When you were screwing girls I looked at her and tried to bring myself to talk to her! And the day I went to comfort her you got there first. You met her first and comforted her first but I was the one who loved her first! I didn't fight for her because I thought you would treat her like a princess! If I knew from the beginning you would do this I would never have let you come near her.” And with that I was dragged out of the apartment and into a car. The engine of the car roared as he sped down the road. His fingers were white from how hard he held the steering wheel and his jaw was clenched angrily as he stared at the road ahead.

Inseong didn't calm down till we were in his house and even then he attempted to pamper me as much as possible, all his anger turned into concern for me. He wrapped me in puffy blankets and set a hot chocolate in from of me, marshmallows and all, “How can I help you? How can I make you forget about that ass?” He asked, looking sincerely into my eyes.

“Revenge. I want you to make me forget that he ever touched me and made me happy.” He looked into my eyes, checking to see if I meant it. I did. His hands slowly moved to my face, cupping my cheeks. He slowly leaned in to press his lips against mine. I had never looked at Inseong closely and didn't expect his lips to be as soft as they were. I was embarrassed for a moment about how chapped and cracked my lips were but he didn't seem to notice and nor did he care. He was gentle; something Zuho hadn't been in a while- or now that I thought about it, he hadn't been gentle for years.

I shoved the blankets off the couch and walked over to the chair he sat in. I sat on his lap, my legs on both sides of him. I placed his hands on my hips, slowly dragging them up my sides. He got what I was hinting at, moving his hands freely. They moved over my hip bones, over my stomach, under the back of my shirt. His fingers slowly worked to unclip my bra, throwing it aside after he finished. He helped me pull my shirt over my head yet never glanced at my exposed skin.

His eyes were focused on my own, staring at me adoringly with a passionate undertone. He kept the eye contact as he pressed a chaste kiss on each of my boobs.

He pressed his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. His gentle hands began to roam, making sure to touch every centimeter of hot flesh. They traced around my breast, squeezing slightly. His palms were now over my nipples, kneading gently as I moaned. His hands moved to my back, sliding down on each side of my spine till they reached the dip of my back. He was almost hugging me, our bodies pressed together hotly. They moved back to the front, tracing over my hip bones. His hands moved down slightly, thumbs moving into the waistband of my skirt then into my panties. He slowly pulled both of the garments down. My legs stepped out of them, kicking them aside. His hands went back onto my flesh, moving from my calves up and sliding under my butt.

He reached over to the side table, pulling out a condom. The man opened it and tugged it down onto his dick, “Are you sure you want to do this?” Inseong’s pupils were blown as he asked.

“Yes, im sure.” I confirmed, eyes hooded slightly with lust.

I slowly sank down on Inseong’s cock, the slow stretch something I enjoyed for once. I didn't let Zuho touch me for so long, my frustration was turning into dripping lust. Inseong seemed like just the person to give me what I craved.

I didn't wait, starting to bounce on him despite the pain of the stretch and mental trauma from the tear Zuho gave me. It had healed but a mental scar remained. Sensing this, Inseong grabbed my hips and held then down. I looked at him, confused “What are you doing?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, peppering gentle kisses to the space between my breasts.

“You're in pain. Both people need to be happy to make love and if you're in pain you're not happy. Don't push yourself.” He murmured softly against my flesh. My heart warmed and I smiled.

He pressed his lips to mine, tongue pushing through my lips and electricity surged through me. His tongue stroked mine, exploring the inside of my mouth fully. He tilted his head to deepen it slightly.

Inseong only pulled away after our bodies were crying for air. He moved to my neck, nothing at the skin and littering my skin with hickeys. I felt him rock his hips slightly, suddenly remembering that I was sitting on his cock. That he had distracted me until he was sure the pain vanished and even then he was rocking into me gently.

Soft moans and pants left my lips as I felt a sensation I hadn't experienced before. It wasn't pleasure alone, it was love. For once I felt loved while having sex.

He began to rock harder, hips pushing up slightly to reach deeper. I began to move my hips at the rate of his thrusts, making the feelings rock though our bodies. Inseong and I moaned simultaneously.

His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling our bodies flush together as he speared into me. My heart fluttered slightly. He picked up his phone, opening up the camera. He clicked the record button.

His hips moved in a flash, bouncing me up and down. I moaned loudly as he roughly hit my G spot. He stopped thrusting and I whimpered in protest, “You're going to have to take control, Baby.” Inseong groaned.

I planted my feet on the floor and began to bounce on his cock, grinding on him every time I got to the base of it. I angled myself so that when I sunk down I hit my G spot. I cried out louder, back arching. “Inseong im so close!” I cried, nails pressing into his back. Inseong stopped recording.

He held one of my hips down and began to thrust very slowly, “You can't come quite yet, Baby. Now are you fine with me sending that video of me fucking you to Zuho?” He asked while I moaned. I nodded my head quickly. Inseong clicked his tongue, “That's not going to work baby girl, I need verbal consent.” He chided.

“Yes, yes you can send it to him! Hurry!” I cried, trying to bounce down on him and failing. He sent it and looked at me with satisfaction.

“You can't cum until he see’s it. He has to see how pretty you look riding me.” Inseong tutted, thrusting gently. I rocked against him, desperate for more. It seemed to go on for hours, working myself to get close before being denied the right. Inseong suddenly grinned before he thrusted up roughly. I cried out in joy as I was filled perfectly to the brim. A happy smile rested on my lips as I was bounced from the thrusts, my boobs jiggling slightly from the force.

I tried to hold in the orgasm that bubbled in me, pulling Inseong into a messy kiss. He pulled away, a trail of saliva connecting our lips, “Cum.” He groaned, thrusting into me at a fast rate. He pressed against my G spot, abusing it over and over again. His hands rubbed my back soothingly. My eyes closed in pleasure as I screamed out. Inseong silenced me with a kiss as we came together.

We panted for a moment before he lifted me up and placed me back on the couch, wrapping me in blankets once again. He kissed my hair, stroking it gently. He was quiet for a while before he spoke up, but even then he was quiet, “ Jaeri, do you-” he paused, “regret what we just did?” I thought about it for a moment.

There was finally another person who cared about me and wanted me to feel safe. Maybe he was the only one who cared all along. And now that I noticed him how could I forget him? “No, I don't think I do. If anything I think this is the first thing in a while I haven't regretted.”

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