#And that would majorly derail the post

[a-fools-errand]

New fic idea? With no title yet? And I don’t really have a summary just yet, but basically it’s a voltron The Forest au (bc ive been playing way too much of that game). Think a bit like the tv show Lost? Or The Wilds? But with more comedy and it’s also pretty close to crack treated seriously, featuring Keith having to be the leader of a ragtag group of survivors as everyone slowly becomes more crazy than even he is. And Lance being a badass, and everyone being a badass really. Anyway, let me know if you think it’s interesting enough to post on ao3??

Also! I should note, Keith and Lance are strangers in this fic and I, for one, firmly believe that Lance would flirt with anything with legs if it wasn't for the fact that Keith and him were rivals in canon.

CW: A plane crash, minor injuries including bruising and a bit of blood, and a dead body

----

Keith’s head was ringing something fierce as he came back to a slow consciousness. God, maybe this was why he never slept on planes if this was the apparent outcome. He blinked out the stubborn weariness from his eyes. The sound -the real sound- slowly welled back up, birds chirping distantly. 

…Wait, birds? Why would he be hearing birds on a plane-?

And that’s when he saw it. Over the tops of the shitty main cabin seats in front of him, between the useless dangling oxygen masks, there was a forest. 

Not like out the window or like some fake painted on trees to make it not seem like they weren’t in a metal tube flying high in the sky. There was an actual forest filled with actual trees a good few rows in front of him, all framed by the broken-in-half plane. 

Ok, no, maybe he did sleep on planes because that absolutely wasn’t real. Not a chance in hell. Keith sat up to try and find more evidence that this was clearly just a stress dream, only to cry out in abrupt stabbing pain from his midsection. He looked down, wincing as he pulled out his shirt slightly. He was met with his own skin painted with a mirage of angry purples and blues around the edges of where the thick seatbelt still held him in place. 

A bruise. He had a bruise all along his lower stomach. Which would make sense to have if the seatbelt stopped him from going forward extremely abruptly. Like, let’s say, in the event of a plane going from some super fast speed that Shiro would know to an absolute and utter zero. And that only happened when… 

In a second of what he would later convince himself was momentary hysteria, all he could think was, damn, looks like we aren’t making it to the connecting terminal on time.

He then much more rationally jolted forward in his seat again (and was greeted with the same sparking pain) at the fact that the plane had fucking crashed. What the fuck? What the FUCK?!

As quick as lightning, Keith undid the stupid seatbelt and turned to Shiro beside him. The man was still out like a light, but breathing, thank fuck. He checked diligently for anything seriously wrong (shrapnel, lacerations, currently bleeding anything- oh god, oh fuck? What was happening?). 

Somewhere near Shiro’s hair and all across his nose area was covered in dried blood, a bruise forming around the former. That definitely meant a concussion, right? Keith wasn’t a doctor, he had no idea how to check that. The blood seemed to be slowing to a crawl, which was probably good.

There wasn’t anything majorly wrong on his body so it seemed. Or at least, there wasn’t anything wrong that wasn’t already wrong. His arm was missing, which sounded terrible until it was taken into account that it was his already amputated arm… From a plane crash… A different plane crash… Oh, Shiro was going to be so pissed when he woke up. Who gets into two plane crashes??

A groan coming from directly behind him derailed that train of thought. Keith whipped around to look at the source of the noise (much to his strongly protesting body). A tanned, narrow-faced guy somewhere around Keith’s own age was slowly blinking his way into consciousness just like Keith had. His face was full of freckles and what looked like only a few slight bruises from where Keith could see. Overall, the other… survivor looked to be in about as good a shape as Keith was. 

Jesus, just the thought of saying ‘survivor’ was not really sinking in. They had survived a fucking plane crash. That wasn’t a thing that just happened, much less twice in Shiro’s case. He even joked that he was flying with Shiro because lightning never struck the same spot twice. Evidently, it fucking did. Maybe he shouldn’t have tempted the universe like that… 

“Mullet?”

Keith refocused on the guy now staring at him, scoffing at the incredibly slurred and equally confused ‘nickname’.

“Are you… dying or whatever?” Keith asked.

The guy tilted his head, his face scrunching up at the question until he refocused on the mask sitting securely on his nose. He yanked it off as careful as a band-aid, watching it strangely as it bounced back up toward the ceiling.

The guy turned back to Keith, a silent question in his eyes. It seemed to answer itself though, as the stranger’s widening eyes filled with the soft sunlight trickling in over Keith’s shoulder.

“Ho-ly crow,” The other survivor shook himself like that’d get him to wake up. Keith understood the feeling.

“I… I think the plane went down,” Keith winced at his own statement. Obviously the fucking plane went down. No plane landed fine with only half of it left, especially not just the back half.

“Looks like it,” The guy replied hollowly before his face filled with alarm, “Oh my god! Hunk! Pidge!”

Blue Shirt (he really needed to learn this guy's name, but that would have to do for now) turned to his oddly named friends. Which was Hunk and which one was Pidge, Keith had no idea. They seemed to be like Shiro, alive but not quite up yet, if the sigh of relief Blue Shirt let out said anything.

The guy turned back to Keith with a lot more awareness, “What happened??”

“Like I said, the plane-”

“No, no, I don’t need the obvious! Clearly!” The guy frantically gestured over the seats, “I meant like, how are we even, you know?”

“Alive?” Keith finished, “I don’t have a damn clue.”

“And what about everyone else?” Blue Shirt asked.

Keith tilted his head.

“Like, the other people. There was a- a cute, little elderly couple right over there,” Blue Shirt pointed across the aisle, “Where did they go? Where did everyone else go?”

Probably thrown from the plane, Keith’s mind darkly supplied. He didn’t, however, want to come off as a complete freak to the only other survivor awake right now.

“Maybe they already got out?” Keith tried (and failed) to sound optimistic.

The guy frowned, seemingly trying to process that, “...Right. Okay. And they probably just left us because… because… Because! They didn’t know how injured we were, and that’s, like, a rule! Totally! You don’t move the injured people because their spines could be damaged and everything! Trust me, I’ve watched all of Grey’s Anatomy, even the truly bad seasons.”

Very trust-inducing, Keith didn’t voice. He nodded tentatively despite that thought. 

Blue shirt stood- oh goddamnit, this was getting annoying, “Hey, what’s your name?”

“Hm?” The guy stretched out in the aisleway, pain evident in his face, “Oh, um, right. The name’s Lance, but you can call me the man of your dreams.”

“W- what?” Keith definitely didn’t squeak that out. Also his face definitely didn’t go tomato red. Also his heart didn’t feel like it just had a palpitation. Also- You know what, shut the fuck up. How was he supposed to react to that?? Who realized they were in a plane crash and immediately f- flirts with the only other awake survivor??? 

Lance (the man of Keith’s apparent dreams, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the-) grimaced in what looked like sincere apology, “Sorry, sorry, not the place. I think my head’s a bit, uh, scrambled, you know? From all this? Anyway, what’s your name, Mullet Man?”

“...Keith,” He dragged out of his mouth (stop fucking staring at the pretty guy who just trauma-flirted with you), “And it’s not a mullet.”

Lance put a hand on his hips, or tried to. He winced at the touch and let it drop, “Puh-lease. I spotted that thing the moment you walked on the plane. Shorter in the front?”

“I guess,” Keith answered tersely.

“And longer in the back?” Lance raised an eyebrow.

“Yes?”

“Ha! See, that’s literally the definition of a mullet: business in the front party in the-” Lance abruptly choked on the air, hand going to cover his mouth as his eyes went wide as saucers. He stumbled backwards, grabbing on to the flimsy blue seats to stop himself from falling completely, “O- oh my god.”

Keith stood ready to catch Lance, expecting to see him losing blood or something, “What’s wrong?”

With a face three shades paler, Lance pointed over Keith’s shoulder. Was… was he just now processing their wrecked plane? Even after they talked about it? Nevermind. Trauma was weird sometimes. That was what his old therapist used to say at least. Maybe it was still settling and that’s why Lance kept going on weird, unnecessarily long tangents?

“The plane crashed,” Keith repeated slowly like he was talking to a spooked deer, “Are you hurt or-?”

“N- no, Keith, look,” Lance demanded, voice shaking.

Keith turned in confusion to follow Lance’s eyes only to be meet with-

Oh.

Oh.

A woman -one of the stewardesses, Keith assumed by the neatly pressed uniform- laid dead-eyed in front of them. Her limbs were sprawled out, her head haloed by the bent edges of where the broken plane met the open air. Grimly, Keith thought that that made sense. Of course not everyone would survive a goddamn plane crash. 

But then he noticed what killed her. It wasn't being tossed by the aggressive turbulence, nor was it the excess metal shrapnel from around the edge of their halved plane, no. 

Glimmering there in all the glory of the midday sun was a bloodied axe buried squarely in the middle of her chest.

#voltron fic #the forest au #klance fanfiction #fanfic #keith voltron #lance voltron #shiro voltron #hunk voltron #pidge voltron #allura voltron #coran voltron #those two will eventually be in it #leader Keith #and everyone else is a little bit crazy #where are all the other survivors? #whats going on? #read and find out ooooo! #klance

[weed-cat]

how abortion bans will/do disproportionately impact indigenous people, by a Menominee person with a uterus.

Abortion bans are oppressive and dehumanizing and dangerous to anyone who can become pregnant. And the people who are the most highly impacted by these laws are certain minorities. This post is focused on how reproductive rights violations impact Indigenous First Nations communities in particular, please do not derail this post or make post additions unless you are Indigenous American. 

(note: many of my sources use gendered language that excludes non-women who can become pregnant. i am aware of this and am unhappy about it, but i will still be using reliable data and quotes from these sources.)

Based off of United States statistics, Native American people are the most likely to be sexually assaulted out of any racial demographic in the US by a large margin. 

- On average, American Indians ages 12 and older experience 5,900 sexual assaults per year. - American Indians are twice as likely to experience a rape/sexual assault compared to all races. - 41% of sexual assaults against American Indians are committed by a stranger; 34% by an acquaintance; and 25% by an intimate or family member.

(source [x])

A nationally representative survey indicates that while almost 18% of white women and 7% of Asian/Pacific Islander women will be raped in their lifetimes, almost 19% of black women, 24% of mixed race women, and 34% of American Indian and Alaska Native women will be raped during their lifetimes.

(source [x])

Sexual assault and rape are indescribably traumatic experiences in and of themselves, even without the layer of potential for unwanted pregnancy. But pregnancy after being raped does occur. Almost 3 million people in the U.S. have experienced rape-related pregnancy. (source [x])

94% of rape victims experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following their assault. (source [x]) People who suffer from PTSD are caused extreme psychological distress by things and experiences and people that remind them of the traumatic event(s) that they suffered through. Finding out that you are carrying your rapist’s fetus can and does majorly inhibit and set back the ability to heal and recover from PTSD. 

And even without this factor, many people who experience rape-related pregnancy are children, disabled in ways that would make it dangerous or even fatal to carry out a pregnancy/childbirth, unable to access the resources required during pregnancy/childbirth, or otherwise unfit or unwilling to go through a full pregnancy and childbirth. 

Native Americans have the highest teen pregnancy rates in the U.S.

According to a 2018/2019 study, Indigenous populations in the U.S. have the highest percentage of teen births out of any racial demographic.

(source: [x])

Teen pregnancy and birth is often incredibly damaging to the victim’s psyche. Teen birthing parents are twice as likely to experience post-partum depression than birthing parents of an appropriate age, have higher rates of other depressive disorders, have higher rates of suicidal ideation, and have higher rates of PTSD. (source [x])

Not only are there often grievous mental health consequences to teen pregnancy, more than 50% of teen birthing parents will receive a high school diploma, and only 2% will receive a degree before the age of 30. (source [x])

Teen birth rates will only go up if abortion is outlawed. This will disproportionately impact Indigenous communities, who already suffer from low graduation rates and high mental illness rates. 

Native Americans have higher pregnancy and abortion rates in general.

-Urban AI/AN [American Indian/Alaska Native] were more likely to have had three or more pregnancies and births than NH-whites [Non-Hispanic Whites]. High fertility rates were also seen among young urban AI/AN women age 15-24 years. - Urban AI/AN reports of 2 or more abortions was twice that of NH-whites (10% vs. 5%).

(source [x])

This one is fairly self-explanatory. If a certain demographic is receiving more reproductive care, they will be more impacted by legislation making it difficult/impossible to access that reproductive care. 

Native Americans have the highest poverty rate out of any racial demographic in the U.S.

(source [x])

Carrying out a pregnancy, going through childbirth, and raising a child are all things that are made much more difficult by economic disprivilege, especially in the US, where healthcare is very expensive, especially without insurance. 

The estimated cost of a pregnancy and birth in the United States is $30,000 for a vaginal birth and $50,000 for a c-section. (source [x]) Many impoverished people just simply do not have that kind of money, and are forced to take on pregnancy and childbirth without appropriate healthcare, or go into medical debt. 

Additionally, pregnant people require more food, which they might not be able to afford. Pregnant people often experience side effects that would make it impossible or simply unsafe to work, especially in late stage pregnancy, and people living in poverty cannot afford to lose their jobs or even to miss shifts. 

Native Americans have the highest rates of death due to pregnancy/childbirth complications, second only to Black people. 

Black and AIAN women have pregnancy-related mortality rates that are over three and two times higher, respectively, compared to the rate for White women (40.8 and 29.7 vs. 12.7 per 100,000 live births)

(source [x])

With a pregnancy mortality rate more than double that of white people, if more Indigenous people are forced to endure a pregnancy, more Indigenous people will die at disproportionate rates. 

Racial disparity in pregnancy mortality rates is due in part to inability to access healthcare, as well as systematic racism within healthcare resources themselves.

Native Americans have the highest incarceration rates in the U.S. out of any racial demographic in many states, and the second highest incarceration rates overall. 

Native Americans are incarcerated at a rate 38% higher than the national average, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics.

(source [x])

My final point that I’m going to be discussing is about how American Indigenous people will be treated under abortion bans. 

Native Americans face much higher incarceration rates out of almost any ethnic demographic, and very often face more severe punishments than non-native (particularly white) people who were charged with the same crime. If abortion is criminalized and can be punished with incarceration, Native Americans will be disproportionately impacted. 

Additionally, people who miscarry can be legally punished under anti-abortion laws, because there is simply no way to prove that miscarriages weren’t intentionally induced in many cases. We are living under a justice system that is biased against Indigenous people, and with the way things are right now, the only logical conclusion that one can draw based on evidence is that Native people who are falsely accused of abortion will be more likely to face criminal charges. Because it’s already happening. 

Prosecutors argued methamphetamine use caused Poolaw’s miscarriage between 15 and 17 weeks gestation. But a state medical examiner who testified for the prosecution during the one-day trial in October said there was a complication with the placenta and the fetus had a congenital abnormality. He couldn’t say for certain whether drug use caused the pregnancy loss.

(source [x])

Brittney Poolaw, a 19 year old woman from the Comanche Nation, was sentenced to four years in prison after a miscarriage. The prosecution insisted that she was guilty of self-induced abortion by using meth, as she was an addict, even though medical evidence proved that there were other factors that could very well have caused miscarriage. 

Abortion bans are aggressions against anyone who can become pregnant, but AI/AN communities will be impacted disproportionately. Our voices are incredibly important in matters like these, but are often talked over. Allow us to have a platform. Consider how your activism may exclude us. Thank you. 

#this took me hours and also its incredibly fucking important #please reblog #reproductive rights #reproductive justice #reproductive care #indigenous rights #indigenous issues #native american #native justice #native rights #first peoples #pro-choice #advocacy

[once-upon-a-drama]

The thing about both guardian and untamed is they have a similar partner dynamic.

Cold hearted stoic person of few words partnered with the talkative animated person.

We know this dynamic. We've seen it a hundred times before. There's a reason it's such a favourite. It helps expose each others flaws, bring out each others greatness and generally form a very interesting fascinating pairing.

But what I particularly liked about each of these two pieces of media is that

Kept under read more cuz it turned out longer than I expected.

How they never actually go and say one or the other is wrong. In fact each person in the partnership often works to cover up the others shortcomings and strengthen it together. There's no lecture on how keeping quiet is better for the mind or talking is better because its better to communicate. In fact in both, their personality is shown to be the product in part because of their upbringing, environment and their nature in general.

Which I personally found something really nice to watch.

When they come to save each other from whatever trouble the other one has caused there's no judgement.

When shen wei or lan wangji has to save their significant others from trouble there's no judgement. No I told you so. Or don't do this or that.

There's acceptance and doing stuff.

Shen wei and lan wangji are. Both people who think before they act mean while Zhao yunlan wwx react and often react explosively first thing causing them to get into unwanted trouble more often than not.

And flipping this the other way. When shen wei or lan wangji are quiet or don't quite participate in extravagant displays of affection or approval it's not looked down upon. It's more of a

Come on. I know you can do better then grimace at me. I know you're secretly happy inside.

What's I'm getting at is. Acceptance of people for who they are and not placing undue expectations for them to change.

There's nothing wrong with changing because completely shutting of your emotions is definitely not good. But there's a difference in what these two men(shen wei and lan wangji do at the end. Shen wei smiling more and trusting Zhao yunlan with his emotions and problems.

Lan wangji learning to accept his feelings, talk about his problems and hold on to wwx and loosen up.) but notice neither of them become completely different people overnight.

#Guardian #The untamed #Cdrama #shen wei #Zhao yunlan #Lan wangji #Wei wuxian #Ahhh. I've been thinking this for a while. #Hope this made sense. #Had a different thread about how #When woman are characterised and quiet stoic emotionally shut #Characters #They are almost always characterised as mean spirited and assholes #Case in point ko moon young and the fl in angels last mission #And that would majorly derail the post #Maybe for another post if a I find a female character in kdrama/cdrama with a similar #Personality as lan wangji or shen wei #I've only started watching kdramas recently #So in another year or so 😂that's post should be ready. #I've yet to see a show where the emotional labour is carried by a man atleast in the beginning without #Making the quiet woman an asshole and uninteresting

[froody]

I hate it when people make those posts that are like “imagine if we treated people with physical illnesses like we treated people with mental illnesses, like what if we told people with diabetes to do yoga about it, that would be crazy right 🤪” acting like things like that do not happen. Acting like people with chronic physical illnesses and disabilities are not actively ignored and gaslit by both the medical community and society at large.

I’m both mentally and physically ill and I’ve had several of my posts about navigating the world as someone who is physically ill totally derailed by people who want to speak about mental illness. I guess it’s the ‘grass is greener on the other side’ mentality but so many people who only have mental illnesses seem to think that having a physical illness is less stigmatized and inherently easier for the sufferer when that’s not the case at all, especially if you’re AFAB or a POC or poor or from a rural area. Our experiences are extremely similar but they diverge majorly and it would be nice if took the time to listen to other people when it came to topics related to disability advocacy.

[charlie-pippin-faraday]

Which HOA character should you trust to do the grocery shopping at beach week?

I’m at the beach, so I came up with a hypothetical scenario - if the Anubis kids were renting a beach house together, who should do the grocery shopping and how would that shopping trip end up? So, presenting: should you trust each of the HOA characters to do the grocery shopping?

(a continuation featuring some of the ideas/tags presented in this post)

Fabian - Yes. But don’t expect literally anything fun. He knows what he needs to get, and he’ll get all the right stuff and proper necessities. But hardly any snacks, nothing fun, and it takes forever because he’s very indecisive.

Nina - Yes, mostly. She’s responsible, and she’s got a good idea of what needs to get done, but this depends majorly on who she’s with. She can be easily persuaded, meaning a trip with a member of the chaos pack (i.e. Alfie) can get derailed quickly. Fabian and Amber individually with her would be fine, but all three of them together would get sidetracked in an instant.

Amber - Maybe. Deep down, she KNOWS what she needs to do, but she doesn’t WANT to, it’s boring. She’s better at being an assistant than a leader in this regard. She doesn’t want to be responsible for the essentials, but she’s really enthusiastic about snacks and goodies and fun stuff and she definitely wants to help pick that stuff out.

Patricia - No. While she’s got a good grasp on food, she absolutely should not be tabbed for this. She is not right for this task. She’d get really annoyed and pissy about it and purposely do it wrong out of spite.

Mara - Yes, but also I’m scared. Will you get all of the proper food groups and toilet paper that you need? Yes. She’s got a list and she’s VERY particular, no wiggle room. Absolutely nothing fun here. Grocery shopping with her would probably not be a fun experience and the thought of it kind of scares me.

Mick - No. He has no clue what he’s doing. He’d be very confused in the store. No one has any idea what he’s gonna come back to the house with. Also he eats half of the grocery cart while in the checkout line.

Jerome - No. He goes to the grocery store with malicious intent. He’s gonna get everything that’s everyone’s allergic to and everything that will test your heat and pain tolerance. He’s here specifically go pick out the items that will cause the maximum amount of suffering and personal amusement to him.

Alfie - No. He is the element of pure chaos. He is unable to stick to a list or listen to even the most simple instructions. You want paper towels or sunscreen or stuff to make one (1) meal? You get some pool noodles and an ice cream cake. All decisions are unpredictable and made on a whim, and you will get absolutely nothing that you need.

Joy - Yes, mostly. If there’s one thing this girl can do it’s make decisions. She’ll make mostly good decisions and get MOST of the things they need, but she is very confident about what she wants, to a fault. She gets real pissy if anyone with her questions her decision-making. She’s gonna forgoe some vegetables in exchange for some chips or ice cream sandwiches but she’ll mostly get the job done.

Eddie - No. This boy is full of bad ideas and impulsive decision-making. He goes in with good intentions but there is absolutely zero chance that you will get anything you need. There’s a better chance of him knocking over an entire display and getting kicked out of the store than there is of him getting an item off the shopping list. Big heart no brain cells buys a box of frozen taquitos but no bread or milk.

KT - It’s a coin toss, and it really depends on who she’s with. If she’s with the responsible ones like Fabian or Mara, she’ll give suggestions and help them get some stuff that’s actually fun. If she’s with Eddie or Alfie, she’s a BIT of a voice of reason, but she’s much too agreeable, and she’d definitely say yes to too many bad ideas, so a shopping trip with the chaos crew can easily get out of control.

Willow - No. Straightup no. She has plenty of ideas and enthusiasm, but she NEEDS someone to go with her if you want there to be any chance of her completing the task. Alone, no chance. And even with someone else that’s a tall order. At some point, she definitely gets distracted and abandons the cart and wanders off through the aisles. She spends at least 20 minutes staring at the lobster tank in the seafood section. She actually forgets about the food and leaves without buying anything at all.

#house of anubis #fabian rutter #nina martin #amber millington #patricia williamson #mara jaffray #mick campbell #jerome clarke #alfie lewis #joy mercer #eddie miller #kt rush #willow jenks

[hope-faith-love-abide]

I haven’t been keeping up with Heartland season 14 updates the past few months, but I decided to catch up on some of it since the premiere date is coming up and the teaser trailer was released recently. And I noticed some interesting speculation about what might happen in the new season, and I have...a lot of thoughts about it, haha. I think I need to write it out in order to really sort out my thoughts and feelings on it, but I think it might get kinda long since it’s pretty major, so I’m going to put it under a cut. 

[NOTE: This post was written approximately a week or so ago, and I’ve been just sitting on it trying to decide if I wanna post or not. But having watched the full trailer for Season 14 now...I’m like 95% certain that this seems to be the route that the season is going. Still have about 5% doubt because trailers can be misleading and I could just be reading into it. We won’t really know for sure until we see the first episode, and I’m so torn between being somewhat excited just because I want to know for certain and nervous because I know I will still be sad if it’s true.

Either way, I wanted to get my thoughts down before the season premieres so here it is I guess lol]

So...it’s actually possible that Ty might die/be dead when this season begins? Which is utterly bizarre to think about because I never would have considered this to be an actual possible situation for the show. Even when there was that summary that leaked earlier this year, I still didn’t think it was a real possibility. I thought for certain that was fake, because this is Heartland. It’s one thing for a side character to disappear from the show or to be killed off, but a main character? A main character can be hurt, injured, and on the verge of death, but they won’t actually die. Especially not a character who is in one of the two major ships on the show.

Until now?

Of course, if this does happen, I don’t think it’s something anyone on the show wanted, not even the writers. In an ideal world where every actor wanted to be in every episode of the show, I imagine they’d be perfectly happy continuing to write that story.

But in cases where an actor no longer wants to be a main character on the show -- well, obviously I can’t say definitively that this is the case, because as far as I know he has never specifically said this in an interview, but from an outsider’s/fan’s perspective, it feels like that is a possibility. I don’t know the reasons behind it though, and I’m not going to go that far into speculation.

But let’s go with this scenario hypothetically. Because it does sometimes happen with television shows, where an actor for one reason or another no longer will be part of a show. 

What do you do with that character?

The character could be recast, I suppose, but I don’t think that would work in a show like Heartland. How would we explain in-universe why Ty suddenly looks different when everyone else is still the same? Even if you can find an actor that looks similar enough, we know what Ty looks like after 13 seasons, and I don’t think anyone would be fooled into thinking it’s the same guy. I guess it could be explained with the trope that he got into such a bad accident that they had to reconstruct his face, but that feels cheap and too much like a soap opera. 

So that’s a no.

The character could be written out in other ways. Ty could just be off screen somewhere...all the time. He’s at the clinic, he’s spending the day with Lyndy, he’s at a vet conference, he’s gone back to save wolves from poachers again, he’s gone back to Mongolia for the third/fourth/fifth/ten billionth time. 

That, honestly, would be frustrating. It’s maybe the least painful short term option, but long term, it’s not very enjoyable. It’s like when important side characters suddenly disappear from the show, occasionally mentioned but never seen on screen again, only 10 times worse.

Or he could be written off by...y’know, breaking up him and Amy. Which, frankly, is the absolute worst option in my opinion. It would immediately, retroactively, destroy the entire show, past, present, and future. Ty and Amy aren’t the only important part of the show, but they are a major part of it. The show has spent 13 seasons building up this relationship (with obvious ups and downs throughout, but I’m not focused on analyzing their whole relationship in this post), so to suddenly turn around and have them divorce would be an absolute trainwreck. 

What would even be the reason? Even with some of my disagreements in the writing of certain decisions the characters have made (*coughtheMongoliaplotcough*), I don’t think those are reasons enough for these two characters to break up over it. So something new would have to be invented, and it would likely be something completely ridiculous and out-of-character for them both and also likely ruin their character development from past seasons. 

Which leads us to yet another option: Ty dying. A year ago this was something I never would have considered for the actual show (or any of those other options, frankly). It could be interesting to explore in a fanfic, but on the show? No way.

But...things change. Reality sometimes gets in the way of a television show’s ideal storyline, which is one of the difficulties of the medium, especially a live action one. And just because one actor hypothetically doesn’t want to be on the show anymore doesn’t mean it should be derailed for all the other actors and crew who are on board.

So you get rid of the character. It isn’t hard to do. Probably the hardest part will be the very first episode when it’s revealed to the audience. How did it happen? Did it happen before the season begins, or does it happen in the first episode? Or if it happened before, do we get any flashbacks? 

Is it due to complications from the gunshot at the end of season 13? A freak car/motorcycle accident? An accident during a vet call? Depending on what it is and the context of it, it can be a strong final note on the kind of person Ty has become. If during a vet call/because of an animal, it happens while he’s doing what he loves, taking care of animals. If from the end of S13, it’s from him protecting his wife. If a car accident, maybe he was going to pick up Lyndy to spend time with her after leaving a vet call, because he’s a loving father. All of those are inline with Ty’s character and still support the growth that he’s had from the first episode to now. 

And then there’s all the story potential and character growth that it opens up for all the other characters. Because this is something that majorly impacts the entire family. And the description of season 14 that was put out does talk about a “life-changing challenge,” particularly for Amy for obvious reasons.

How does she deal with losing her husband? They’ve been together for so long, not just as romantic interests but as best friends. What does her life look like without him in it? How does this affect her work? Is her work with horses a comfort for her, or does it remind her too much of him? How does she guide Lyndy through this? 

And then the rest of the family. How does Jack deal with his loss? Considering Ty became like a son to him and “officially” joins the family when he marries Amy, how does it affect Jack to lose him? Especially if it was in something like a car accident, similar to Marion. How does it affect Jack and Lisa’s relationship? 

Not to mention Lily, and Lou, and Georgie, and Tim, and Caleb, and Scott, and Cass. Ty was a huge part of all their lives, so this will affect them in major ways too. 

Again, it’s not ideal. But I do feel like this option provides the best story opportunities without ruining the characters in the process the way certain other choices would. 

And, of course, this is all purely speculation. We won’t really know what’s going to happen until the season actually airs, and it’s entirely possible that the “life-changing challenge” will be something completely different, and Ty will be fine. And if so, that’s okay with me. 

But if Ty is gone...I think I could learn to be okay with it. Though it does still depend on how they handle it. Like if everyone’s sad about it for one or two episodes, but then everyone immediately moves on and everything’s fine, then I wouldn’t be happy with that. We don’t need a whole season of everyone crying all the time, but we also don’t need this to be something that’s swept under the rug. We, the audience, will need time to grieve along with the characters. Because this is a main character that we could be losing here, not just a minor side character like Mr. Hanley for example. So I hope we get to see all of the characters going through the stages of grief and processing their loss in their own ways throughout the season.

Anyway, it was nice to write through my thoughts on this. It’s kinda funny thinking about how not that long ago, I would’ve been completely 100% against this idea ever happening in the show, but now I’m like almost on-board with it. Maybe it’s the effect of 2020 or something lol

#brigette's rambles #heartland

[magicplanetanime]

Let’s Watch HeartCatch Pretty Cure, Episode 3

Alright folks, nothin big to say here, let’s dive right in!

Episode 3 starts with another dream sequence. I get the feeling this is going to be a recurring element in the series. Namely we’ve got Tsubomi (as Cure Blossom) swooning in a moonlit garden. I am starting to think that our girl perhaps is nursing a bit of a crush.

Episode 3 - "The 2nd Precure is raring to go!”

She wakes up (accidentally smacking around the fairies in the process) and has a bit of windowside banter with Erika. She promptly does an “oh no, I’m late!” while Erika makes this absolutely incredible face.

After the OP, they meet up at school and talk a bit about how Tsubomi is trying to change her personality by starting with her looks. A reasonably solid strategy I guess, though I hope at some point the show addresses that how you act is more important than how you look--as that’s a message that little girls always need to hear.

Erika, being a possible baby gay, frames Tsubomi’s face and does this cute thing.

Imagine I posted that meme of Snoop Dogg with the “this is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen” caption.

Now, I wonder what this episode will be about.

Yeah they really do not waste any time getting to this plot point. There’s a cut to the girls eating lunch on the roof, Erika mentions she’s having weird dreams, and then

I suppose I’m glad we’re not beating around the bush? Erika takes much of the ensuing exposition remarkably in stride, being a-ok with the existence of fairies, but a little shocked that her friend Tsubomi is Cure Blossom.

The blue fairy (look, you try keeping their names straight) tries to persuade Erika to become a Precure, but is interrupted by the sudden appearance of this androgynous boy.

Who we in short order learn is the student council president. He mentions that Erika’s Fashion Club needs a member list by week’s end so the student council can draw up the club budget, and promptly departs, having successfully derailed the plot. This also happens.

Tsubomi has now blushed at 3 different people in the span of 6 minutes. Truly a maiden’s heart is an incredible thing.

There’s a small aside in here where we’re shown Sasorina back at her lord’s Evil Lair (which is by the way a gloriously ridiculous thing that looks like something out of a Tim Burton work) where she gives the usual “I only lost because I was taken by surprise” villain spiel, and then we cut back to the *truly* important plot.

Erika and Tsubomi attempt to recruit members for the fashion club around school, largely to no avail. The translators also decide to have some, erm, fun, with the subtitling.

I feel like “pansy” is kind of strong language for a middle schooler? Maybe it doesn’t have the same connotations everywhere. We promptly get some context for this girl’s refusal just a few minutes later, and

Well that’s quite sexist.

The somewhat wonky art in this shot aside, I do feel for the girl. This makes me wonder if sex-exclusive sports clubs are the norm in Japanese middle schools. *My* school had separate boys’ and girls’ sports teams but I also went to a Catholic middle school, I didn’t think it was the norm. As she sulks, a familiar face makes itself known.

The only ones who play soccer are saints....and true villains. Yes, Sasorina is back, and ready to capitalize on more girls having bad days. Charming lady, she is.

I love the fact that Soccer Girl’s (her name is actually Sayaka but let’s save calling her that for if she ever shows up after this episode) heart flower is a different species than Erika’s. It makes total sense, but it shows an attention to detail that I don’t think you’re necessarily guaranteed in a show like this. It’s just a nice way of showing that whoever was in charge of such things actually cared about putting some thematic coherence in here.

Now, that may be slightly undercut by the fact that the Desertrian this time around is what I am going to go ahead and call a Soccer Golem, because look at it, that’s a Soccer Golem.

The fact that there are not significantly more shows that feature Soccer Golems in minor antagonistic roles is frankly an indictment of the imagination and storytelling ability of our species in general.

Anywho, Tsubomi transforms, and Erika kind of majorly fangirls out in what might be my single favorite frame I’ve captured of this series so far.

There’s a bit of the general back-and-forth, a type you’re well acquainted with if you’ve ever seen a kids’ action series ever. I want to make special mention of Sayaka’s voice actress **really** hamming it up as the Soccer Golem, she really reaches into what sounds like the upper register of her range to make the thing sound truly griefstricken and half-mad.

Which is a bit of a lot to put in when you’re playing, again, a Soccer Golem, but serious props for commitment.

Sadly Cure Blossom doesn’t quite seem to be able to quite cut it on her own this time. Which Erika, watching nearby, just cannot stand.

When your friend is being beat on by a Soccer Golem.

So with minimal convincing, Erika takes the plunge.

God I love this franchise.

I will of course embed Erika’s transformation into Cure Marine right here, but there’s a specific part I want to talk about. During her transformation sequence, she briefly cradles her own head and smiles. I’m not sure if it’s intentional, but it’s A) really friggin’ cute and B) a visual sign of self-love from a girl who we well know feels inadequate compared to her beautiful older sister. So the idea that Cure Marine’s transformation helps her accept herself is really actually quite sweet.

And it’s good to get that sweetness in before Marine promptly kicks a ridiculous amount of ass in a very short amount of time. Seriously, the fight scene is maybe half the length of the prior episode’s just because Marine stomps out the Soccer Golem so efficiently.

Have been roundly defeated yet again, Sasorina falls back, thus ending the main part of the episode. Also, this happens again, so I suppose this is going to be a recurring image on this blog.

Will I take a screencap every time it happens? Time will tell.

Blossom I love you but you didn’t do shit this time around.

The two console Sayaka as she awakes from her magically-induced post-transformation coma. Though the adult part of me does wonder how long this particular genre of excuse is going to hold up.

Sayaka’s solution to her earlier woes is to found a girls’ soccer club. Which, well, it doesn’t really solve the fundamental problem, but it’s something, and probably about all a student in her position could reasonably be expected to do. Anything more realistic (a parent raising a fuss or something like that) would be well outside the scope of this show, and it does fit in with the apparent theme of self-empowerment we’ve got running here.

There’s also a little coda tying up a minor plot point at the very end of the episode. Where Erika presents the repaired doll that Sasorina used to turn her into a Desertrian to Tsubomi. By the power of miraculous plot coincidence, the little girl who lost the doll in the first place happens to be walking by with her mom. This would be objectionable only if it didn’t lead to this irresponsibly cute frame.

It’s been a brisk three episodes--less so for me than a regular viewer given that I’m pausing and rewinding to take screencaps, but still--and I wonder where the show will head from here on out. I’ve yet to reach an episode that I felt comfortable covering in a post that wasn’t dedicated solely to it--a new Cure being introduced is of course a major event--perhaps we’ll get to episodes that aren’t quite so relevant to the main narrative through-line soon.

——-

If you enjoyed this post, you might enjoy my other anime-related writing. I have a weekly anime column at The Geek Girl Authority, and write occasional full-series reviews for Anilist.

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#Precure #Pretty Cure #HeartCatch PreCure #Mahou Shoujo #Magical Girl

[youre-obsessed-with-me-still]

I’m tempted to just say every single one for Hundoe and Pernat but i’ll just say every one you wanna do for them bc I wanna knowwww (for the derailed questions meme)

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Pernat and Hundoe Mancuu. I dont even remember where those came from,,,

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Pernats title would be The Guardian. Hundoes would be The Virulent

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

They both had fairly good and easy childhoods. Pernat spent the first half learning about Subjuggulation however Dogdad decided that it was unfair on Pernat. Hundoe spent most of his younger years with a certain matesprit ( GUESS WHO ;DD) He was rather heart broken when said matesprit disappeared and decided that he was against the world and the rest is history.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

Pernat adores DogDad and would die for him legit. Hundoe used to have a good relationship with Dogdad however.... they now have an extremely strained relationship.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

Pernat knew many many clowns when he was younger due to his local circus, however has not seen any of them in a very long time (thank god. that boy picks up bad habits way to easily). Hundoe was popular. He was charismatic and good hearted. He doesn't have many friends anymore.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

Pernat loves animals. Animals love Pernat. Hundoe does not like animals and tends to ignore them, it doesn't help that animals generally dont like him either.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

Pernat LOVES kids. ADORES kids. He hopes that He, Tardar and Morris can take on more children in the future.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

Nope! Pernat loves all kinds of food and especially stuff with chocolate. Hundoe eats mostly meat and carbs.

12. What is their favourite food? 

Pernats favourite food is cake thanks too morris. Hundoes favourite food is a good bloody steak.

13. What is their least favourite food?

Pernat dislikes bland foods, he finds nothing to enjoy in it. Hundoe hates anything thats too sweet.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Pernat is TERRIBLE at cooking. He burns stuff, gets stuff stuck to pans, sets things on fire. More than once he's made morris come too his hive because he just cant cook. Morris is happy too. Hundoe on the other hand is a BBQ extraordinaire as much as he would never admit it. His barbecue is to die for.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

 Pernat has a very very large collection of collars. Im talking like over a hundred at this point,,, people keep buying him them!! Hundoe has way more guns than any troll should possess. He likes them.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

Pernat takes selfies! He enjoys sending his friends pictures of him making silly faces. Hundoes phone is so broken that it won't even take pictures nor does he want too.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Pernat LOVES adventure novels and romance novels, he has a lot of books and is an avid reader. He loves animal movies and he enjoys documentaries. Hundoe doesn't read. And he doesn't own a TV.

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

Pernat HATES love triangles. Considering his Matespritship

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

Pernat digs a musical and he enjoys theatre! Hundoe is an avid music listener, he likes rock music and country music and a mix of the two.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Pernat is patient unless he's being blatantly ignored, That takes him from one too ten REAL quick. Hundoe doesn't often lose his temper. He knows he can win most fights with brute force.

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

Pernat mostly just mumbles and bitches about them later to Tardar. Hundoe skips the insulting and goes straight to a pen knife in the gut as a way of saying “fuck off”

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Pernat has pretty bad memory. He writes down a lot of notes but is still prone to air heading on things pretty often. Hundoe doesn't bother trying to remember things. He has a very shut off mind.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Pernat sleeps well but occasionally will struggle to sleep for a few days. He doesn't snore but has been known to occasionally bark in his sleep. Hundoe doesn't sleep well. Living in a zombie infested desert where they are constantly trying to get into his trailer during the day makes for shit sleep.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

Pernat isn't quite sure if he's funny or not. But he does feel good about it if he makes someone laugh... even if they're laughing AT him.Hundoe think he is HILARIOUS. He's not.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

Pernat is happy 85% of the time. But when he's extremely happy he is flightly, excitable, unable to sit still and generally a bit nutty. Hundoe is at his happiest when he has found someone gullible or easy to control. He feels very proud during those times.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

Pernat is saddened when he thinks about Tardars short life span. He hates to think about his privilege as a highblood and how he is judged for that. Hundoe an asshole. Nothing can make him ‘sad’ and he doesn't think about his Ex

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Pernat is afraid of being hurt and not being able to help people. Fear makes pernat quiet and stressed. Hundoe claims he is afraid of nothing and he certainly  acts it but it isn't quite true ;)

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

Pernat doesn't think about it much but will help the person avoid it. what do you think Hundoe would do? (hint: exploit them majorly)

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Pernats only exercise comes from Avalanche Rescue. However he is very naturally muscled anyway and his muscle is mostly working muscle due to his job. Hundoe is a gym rat, Most of his spare time is spent working out or ‘visiting’ pernat.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Pernat rarely drinks but has been invited a few times to meet Morris’ subjuggulator ‘friends’ and has managed to get severely drunk. Apparently pernat is pretty good at Keg-Stands. Hundoe drinks regularly and a fair bit. He has a high tolerance and doesn't often get out of it.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Pernat likes comfortable clothes that are bright and warm, He still wears makeup in bad habit. He struggles to break his habits and that is one of the ones he hates the most. Hundoe wears very what you may describe as redneck clothes. as you can tell. He wears fairly skinny jeans and likes to wear vest tops and likes topping it off with a denim jacket.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

Pernat wears a good mix but mostly boxers. although he will admit to owning a few ‘’’fancy’’’ pairs. Hundoe wears boxer Y-fronts only. 

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Pernat is built fairly square. He has broad shoulders and a wide chest. Hundoe is very much dorito shaped. Wide shoulder very skinny legs (Pretty great ass though)

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

Pernats guilty pleasure is hanging out with other purple bloods. He doesn't agree with subjugators but he enjoys hanging out with them and enjoys how crazy they can be but promptly takes a step back when they get into violence. Hundoes guilty pleasure is super fancy food places even though he will claim its pointless spending loads of money on food.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Pernat is good at hauling weight and recovering people, He has very good smell but poor eyesight. He enjoys reading and skiing. He CANT sing. Hundoe has a sharp aim and a high (but wasted) charisma. He enjoys shooting things and manipulating people. He can actually sing pretty well. 

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Pernat LOVES reading as mentioned. He is a VERY fast reader. He really loves fiction. Hundoe doesn't read. He thinks reading is stupid and unworthwhile. Tell that to his younger self though.... Somebody used to like writing his own stories (but you didn't hear that from me.)

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Pernat admires courage and persistence and hopes to be known as a hero one day. He wishes that he could be more assertive and be able too say no. Hundoe doesn't admire others. He wishes he was a god.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

Pernat prefers to message and enjoys chatting on Trollian. Hundoe can write in calligraphy pretty well but doesn't.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Pernat has been shown the joys of coffee by Morris recently. He very much enjoys it but still sticks to a classic hot chocolate. Hundoe drinks too much Coffee and Energy drinks.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Pernat is gay and poly however in pale he is Bi. He finds men who are very gentlemanly attractive, he likes men to be polite but sweet. Hundoe is also gay however I personally will not allow him too be in a relationship because he would kill them.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Pernat loves the idea of being known as a hero. He goes home at the end of the night hoping that he will be remembered. Hundoes goal is to be on top. On top of everybody. Alternia. The Fleet. The Heiress. Her Imperious Condescension. The Empire. Everything. He wants to be on top of it all.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

Pernat is no longer religious despite still wearing the identifying markers. He doesn't believe in The Circus or the Messiah. Hundoe is religious. He believes he will one day be whats known as the Messiah.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

Pernat loves spring. He loves flowers and bird and light showers. He does horribly in anything above 10c he cant function he thinks its way too warm. Hundoe lives in a desert. Autumn is the best for him, its not long below freezing but its not almost literally boiling. 

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

People see pernat as a mean big muscular subjuggulator. Even if he walks with a kind look lowbloods will go out of there way to not walk near or around him in fear. He hates this and sometimes he almost convinces himself that its true. Its the only think he really really hopes hundoe never finds out about it because hundoe would destroy his life with it (by trying to make him act like that (which is fairly likely to work in because of how hundoes powers work on him)) Hundoe Is seen as terrifying. Looks mean. walks mean. is mean. Hundoe knows this. He likes it and demands respect.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

Pernat tries to make the best possible impression because he knows how most trolls think of him before they speak to him. Pernat introduces himself kindly and if he thinks the person needs any sort of assistance he will offer it. Hundoe is rude. uncaring and thinks first impressions dont matter. His first impression is accurate.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

Pernat loves dressing fancy! He's not such a fan of black tie events because he likes to be colourful but he still likes to get all dressy. Pernat is a social butterfly and would mingle with everyone. Hundoe on the other hand hates anything formal and would only go to a fancy party to crash it.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

Pernat enjoys most parties, he's never organised a party but if he did it would be bomb. Pernat wouldn't have an issue being dragged along he enjoys peoples company. Hundoe only likes the most trashy hive parties with cheap beer. He hates socialising and would be grouchy

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Pernats collar means a lot to him. Its a comfort object in its own right but it also reminds him of morris. Hundoes sawn off shotguns have a strong value to hundoe. He believes they are lucky and he's had them 90% of his life.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Pernat would bring a change of clothes, survival food and as much water as he could take. Hundoe would take his guns, plenty munitions and snacks.

#pernat #hundoe #LONG POST #god you better love this it took me so long what the fuck #reminder hundoe is a horrible person #ref #breath-of-the-twilight

[unluckyadept]

thegrapetyphlosionranger replied to your post:

Let them set it on fire lmao

// -Snorts-

Normally I would— and I still intend to, if possible.

It’s just that Karst starting a fight in the middle of Madra would majorly derail things.

And Jenna doesn’t have the stats to stand up to her, either.

-Presses fingertips together-

Karst and her dialogue pose rather interesting challenges in the adaptation.

A lot of the things she says really just don’t make sense when you consider Felix was in Prox for years. They should know each other, and Felix should know where Mars Lighthouse is, etc.

It’s not too hard to change little bits here and there so that she’s addressing his companions, but that doesn’t fix all the challenges.

Felix would want to speak to Karst in private; he has some very bad news to give to her, and feels she deserves some dignity and privacy to grieve. Problem: other people have dialogue in that scene—and they wouldn’t just stand back once Karst starts lashing out more than just verbally.

-w- -Shrug pose- I’ll figure something out.

#OOC

[wholemilk-emptymind-blog]

The Pied Piper

Most of the time when I’m street performing I feel like I’ve perfectly accessed my bloodline: my Great Grandfather Franco and his Pied Piper lifestyle. The family story is that he’d play in the streets and people would follow him all around until they reached his house, where he’d play for them on the porch. My mother makes fun of him often, saying he was never as good as his own son who was technically trained and had an endless knowledge about the workings of “the business”. She claims his songs sounded funny to her because he was a self trained writer and didn’t play any songs she knew.

I think my Great Grandfather had an understanding of what street music can do for the spirit. He was a healer, and he was providing more than sound that people wanted to hear. I feel him in my blood as soon as I find a parking lot for my car and walk around looking for a spot to post, carrying my instrument without a case so that it can be free and alive with me. These days I have no fears at all; it’s almost as though I have scheduled shows, and I just show up to my post as if expected. This surprises people, and they’re always wondering what I’m doing there. “Is she homeless? Should I give her money or food? Is she going to spend my money on drugs and not fix her life?”

I feel like it’s partially my mission on Earth to try to change this perspective people have of artists who want to make a living with the love of their life. My Great Grandfather Franco was not homeless or poor. He never worked a “real” job in his life, but he had two homes to call his own and also a successful little business on the side selling lemon ice. He also fathered a few more generations of talented musicians. This was many years ago, I’m aware; I apologize for trying to make the example somehow seem current.

My point is that people think the “clean” money is the money that comes from institutions. “Real” work comes from filing into those institutions every single day and asking for permission to take time off in order to live a day in your own life. To me it’s ludicrous to think about how short the time on the Earth is for a human being, and then to realize the surrender that happens every day within this small increment of time. The surrender is that of individual aspiration and personal fulfillment, with the reward being steel-cut affirmation and handsome numbers. Isn’t there something on this Earth that you love more than that? I understand the people with families who must sacrifice and do what it takes, and I believe it’s their mission to get it done because the family is their passion in life. But there are so many who are just waiting for an opportune time to take a leap and do what they actually want, and they wait for that time in a place that entirely clouds and pales their spirit. I was once one with this objective.

I derailed from my story, but I feel as though the message was mildly important. I want to talk about the streets themselves on the hard days of my work. As I said by prefacing this essay: most days are emotionally effortless and much like a romantic film. People come up and want to talk to me, they tip very generously and restore all of my faith in humans. Then there are days where the magic isn’t there on the outside.  I become a noise box that spouts inconvenience, and no one looks my way. In fact, many times, the city people make an obvious effort to avoid me by crossing the street before they come my direction.

“The hard days” are some of the loneliest of my life, and there are times when I think of giving up because of them. The question I face, now that I think about it, is: “Does this mean you’re just doing this for the money?” That’s something to really force myself to consider, and I’m ready to do that now. I think what happens is that I force myself to treat music as though it’s my job. I secretly tell myself that it’s my profession, so I have this stupid expectation that it should bring me money every time I’m out there busking. It’s true that the busking normally makes me just as much money as my old job working at Starbucks did, but that’s entirely not the point.

I sometimes get stuck within the brainwashing of society that determines “clean money” and “messy money”. As I mentioned before, “clean money” seems to come from being hired by an institution and working certain set hours with a guarantee for financial supply, while “messy money” comes from the odd jobs. Busking is a very, very odd job, but it’s entirely my own. I have to keep in mind that this independence makes it much more valuable to me than just money itself. No matter how unpredictable the material aspect of it can be at times, I’d still rather be out singing and playing my heart and soul for others, than sacrificing both for some financial padding in my life.

I suppose this means that, on the days I earn around three dollars, I still get paid. What’s the reward waiting for me on these days? I get to play with the knowledge that I’m talented enough to earn quite a bit of money on most other days, and I get to be out in the elements sharing all of my hard work with people who wouldn’t otherwise hear it. I’m going to start thinking of it as volunteer work from now on when business is slow, and I’m going to take it as a sign that these are days when I need to love people harder. These will be my days off, and I’ll be free entirely of “work”.

It’s so normal for people now to be swept up into money worries, and I’m no exception. I truly don’t believe I’m meant to have very much money in my life; just enough. So I have to be careful to retrain myself that it’s okay to get little recognition, and that it’s extremely okay to earn barely any money for my efforts. I guess the money has simply been a form of evidence that I’m making this work. There are people who haven’t believed in the cause of my music like I believe, and so when I started to earn money from it I noticed their perspective start to change.

It’s sad that money is what it took for them to see me for what I am, but at the same time I grew mildly addicted to this reaction from them. Admitting it is hard, but I suppose it almost feels as though I’m not a “real” musician on the days I don’t earn much money at all. This is ridiculous, simply because the question exists: “What is a real musician?” I don’t have an answer to that question currently, but I do know that it doesn’t just mean earning money playing music. I wanted to be a musician so badly that I majorly narrowed down the qualifications to merely being able to play, and earning a good amount of money from playing.

So now I’m on a mission to retrain my perspective. I’m going to look the slow and lonely days in the face from now on, and then I’m going to write about their effect on me and try to find only the positives.

#music #life #blogging #writing #art #love #passion

[rebeccaheyman]

reading/listening 1.6.20

I got so majorly derailed in my weekly posting that it would be almost absurd to catalogue everything I’ve read since late November. Trouble is, I read some truly spectacular books at the end 2019/beginning of 2020, and need you to know about them. Here, then, is the speed-round version of my usual posts:

Fleishman is in Trouble (Brodesser-Akner). Spectacular. Make sure to read the author’s Nov 2019 profile of Tom Hanks, too.

Blood Water Paint (McCullough). A stunning novel-in-verse that I’m still thinking about weeks after finishing it. 

Well Met (DeLuca). The ren-faire setting was fun, but I like a little more emotional meat on the bones of my favorite rom-coms. 

Persuasion (Austen). Not my favorite JA, but I was craving a new-to-me classic.

The Seven or Eight Deaths of Stella Fortuna (Grames). This was what I had hoped My Brilliant Friend would be: atmospheric, strong setting, intimate portrait of one woman’s life from start to finish. Audio was A-1, too.

Bringing Down the Duke (Dunmore). On the chaster side of Regency Romance, this was nonetheless a delightful listen. Weeks later, I only have a vague sense-memory of the plot and characters, so take that for what it is.

Scythe, Thunderhead (Shusterman). I’d been meaning to read this series for awhile, but am now hesitant to read the third and final (The Toll) because of some compelling reader criticism. I’ll have to see for myself eventually, but for now, I’m letting the fantastic world-building and concept linger unfinished.

The Bookish Life of Nina Hill (Waxman). A fun listen, and I’d likely autobuy from Waxman again because of the pithy prose and dynamic interiority from the MC... but I’m not convinced there was enough spark to light the fire between H1 & H2. 

Get a Life, Chloe Brown (Hibbert). Invisible illness representation FTW! I cared so much about Chloe and Red by the end of this. Audio narration was perfection, pacing was excellent. A sweet, sexy, smart romance with more than token depth for our hero. 

An American Marriage (Jones). Easy to see that this is a modern classic. Nuanced portrait of three complex people navigating love, adulthood, injustice, desire, and personal growth. Unexpected: huge reliance on epistolary structure, which I loved!

*CURRENT READS*

Okay, PHEW, we’re caught up! There were some much-anticipated releases this week that I can’t wait to dive into, but my plate is full right now with:

Lovely War (Berry). This complex narrative of four young people coming of age during WWI is narrated by a cast of Greek gods. Hot take: This is not YA, and the pub-house decision to market it as such was a huge mistake. 

The Bear and the Nightingale (Arden). I’ve been meaning to get to this for AGES, but every time I have it from the library, the loan expires before I can dive in. I’m off to a slow start (no fault of the writing, just my lack of time), but I’m intrigued so far.

Mr Fox (Oyeyemi). I started but didn’t finish Oyeyemi’s Gingerbread last year (again, no fault of the writing -- just didn’t have the bandwidth at that time), and loved the writing enough that I put this author at the top of my list for 2020. Mr Fox is metafiction at its finest: woven narratives, reflective characterization, and a strong thru-line of whimsy. 

#amreading #long post #sorry not sorry

[vishak69-blog]

If you need a reason to try harder

Story of Mr. Vishak

There are two kinds of people.One who thinks and another who doesn't.

One who thinks and another who doesn't.

Could that be a blessing or / and a curse?

One who thinks and another who doesn't.

Could that be a blessing or / and a curse?

A fire can cook a man’s dinner and it can cook a man. I’ve always tried redirecting my thoughts and actions towards something that I’m passionate about.

Music obviously topped the hunger list which I’ve taken it to this special place called nowhere. Wrote a ton of bars (Rap is what’s we’re discussing here) on government, poverty, politics, drugs, violence pretty much the directions that people suffer from the world accepted regularities. Taking the path traveled by my heroes, guys like Em, Pac, RAKIM, Shawn Carter and more. They were my single source of inspiration and outlet. Even my very few friends didn’t know about my writing and rapping. Playin’ low key produced my own beats and rapped to it with not a single visit to the studio cause of my pre-conceived perception of getting nowhere with this for one reason. India and Gangster Rap is like pretty girl doing dishes. The “Won’t happen” presumption sometimes kills lives you see. And this was way back when I was pursuing my masters. Hated every single day of school and hi-school. They never interested me nor what they teach nor what they do. Like EM said “I’m too cool to go back, show me where the f studio at”.

Which eventuated me to take a slight deviation from Rap scene into the discotheque atmosphere and I have not come across a term DJ. Didn’t have any idea about the clubs, night life, EDM, no nothing. Having said that, I produced my own beats and have mixed a ton of tracks majorly focusing on Progressive and Deep house (Ignore the technical terms) regardless. Then I got introduced to the club scene by a stranger then friend who gave me the opportunity to get my hands on the turntables and crowd control (not religion) which is in the club as I was sound with the technicalities. He was impressed by my live mixes. Post MBA, I landed in a job with a bank after 2 months of anxiety struggles. Now the elephant is trying to climb the tree.

Spent a decade of stint with this company and obviously no direction nor goal as I was just getting by with my career. Perhaps with my life I’d say. Couple of years has flown by with the corporate and everything was in its own pace. Met a stranger at a party, and partnered up with an event management company that he owned. Started gigging for a few years with an extreme lifestyle of sleepless nights accompanied by heavy drinking. Managing 2 boats at the time that is parties and the Bank job was challenging. But loved one side of the journey that kept me persisting. Wasn’t making anything out of gigs and I was all too blind to see the business side of it. But there was passion and lot more of passion. And took that opportunity as a learning experience. Simultaneously illusional promotions at work kind of kept me on the ring and DJ was a Titanic. It was all going down. Incidentally ran into the gym which was at work to have my weight checked. Never realized that this day would change it all. Even to the point of contemplation to take my DJ hat off few months later as the lifestyles for both sides were not going hand in hand. Thought came into reality.

Connected with the trainer at the gym and things started taking shape. Perhaps I was taking shape as it was just happening with no serious efforts or consciousness. When people at work started noticing and recognizing, I’ve realized maybe I’m doing something right. I was learning and experimenting on my body. Trial and error and more trial and error and lot more of it. Weighing almost 93, I was beefing up quick and I got big within months. But am I on the right track by packing just them muscles? I’m sure I don’t know. But more people started to talk about me, slowly but very steadily I started realizing what discipline was and I have kept it up to this day as you read this. 7 good quality years of longevity.

Me and my bud at the gym share food and conversation post training. On that particular night though as we were fueling after a training session, we spoke and decided on ripped physique. Getting jacked was the discussion. I was instantly hooked and juices started flowing in my head. I trained. And I trained like a mad dog regardless of my circumstances or time. Trained to a point where I almost forgot the meaning for the word “Excuse”. Most people started asking for help and wanted advice on training, food, lifestyle etc. Felt like I was the Austrian Oak. I was jacked from 93 to 64 kgs with 5% bodyfat within few months. No personal trainer no nutritionist no drugs no bragging and all natty. I was literally shi**ing only meat and veggies at that time because of force feeding tasteless food for months together. And it was worth every bit of it. More people started coming to me. And that fired me up to go hard every single day. Helped a few with setting goals and to visualize it and how to stay disciplined throughout without derailing.

Spent few years like this as the health aspect was on track which I was led to believe by the way I looked and felt. And that’s when I took a hit. A major hit on my lower back with the deadlift that helped me to get bed ridden for months together. Mental pain was more than physical you see. Losers started pitying me and asking me why I train so much and laughing in my absence. Only they realized later the value of my ABS sense. Criticism is a very noble factor. Taking trips across states to hospitals and contemplating suicide on the other hand as few docs advised me that I won’t be able to hit the gym ever in my life cause the damage is already done and it’s for life and so is the pain. So, I better be careful and never step into the iron game ever. That particular thought plunged into my brain like an arrow and left a permanent damage in my heart. Well, permanent at that time. My soul was shattered and there I hit the rock bottom instantaneously topped with depression. Icing on that particular cake was too fu*kin sweetened. My stubborn career held a meeting with me and told me that we’re gonna take another deep dive into the darkness. I asked what is this now??? Life replied “a dessert is good after a main course”. Everything started changing around me and the same people who looked up to me started repelling. There wasn’t one day that I turned up at work without a hoodie on and doing nightshift, so that I don’t have to face any of them mofos. Fear, anxiety and everything else associated with it kicked me and kicked me hard.

This was probably the transitional period of my life as I was begging god to please give me the fortitude to get my crap together. Then he replied “Sorry Son, I can’t help you with this because it’s a diarrhea. Apparently, sh*t was more scattered than it seemed. Because I was alone battling and didn’t want any of my close ones to know about my elite life. Not even my family. Fighting my darkness all by myself gave me an extra edge of independency though. It was more than “crap hit the fan” as my life was taking another vacation down to the rock bottom and so was my career. Colors of life.

Being broke isn’t a new story to me neither my starvation. Ironically a bank officer with a Double Masters in Finance and Marketing going broke to the point of having no food for days and days wishing only if someone could buy me a meal, that would be a heavenly experience. Never really crossed my mind that only I can fix my sh*t. Was too damn embarrassed to ask anyone for a meal because I was with a multinational Corporation. Was literally living with free crackers, free cookies and free coffee for weeks and weeks until the next paycheck. The taste of any real food was so delicious that my eyes leaked when it touched my tongue. Constantly having heavy threats about getting fired if I be Mr. Vishak because they took my confidence for arrogance. Back injury was in the process of recovery. But scared to death and anxious about my future and the jobless situation tomorrow if I may have to face and starvation topping the situation. It was a Perfect Marriage.

The grass was greener but something was just not right about it as it’s on the other side. I can’t go cheap for a passing cloud. Change in departments at my corporate world gave me a little breather. Warm team, excellent environment with best people to work and transparent management. Hard to find teams like that in corporate segments I was led to believe. I was 2 months away from losing my job cause few people didn’t like me on one team. And then there’s this man from another team who breath a whole new life into me regardless of people telling not to hire me. He believed in me and gave a me a chance. But still the elephant can’t climb a tree. Or can it?

Fast forward couple of years later, my next vehicle was film while still at the 9 to 5. Actually it was 5 AM to 2 PM. But a new inspiration to be a Film director. Focused on movies and joined a crew only to realize this was all going to be another titanic 2oo soon within a year. Months flown by and got nowhere and still proudly averaging at the bank job.

At the career meeting on a particular day I happened to be silent. Very silent that I wasn’t scared anymore about my future. Perhaps it was a calling. My boss was rapping jazz and I broke the silence retorting with these exact same words.

“Save the rap. Temporary failure doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a permanent defeat. You need a tank to take me down”. He gone blank and didn’t know what in the actual f was I talkin’ about.

Maybe I wasn’t meant for any of these. Maybe I would have done something if I had a guardian angel. May be a mentor. May be if I had someone to teach me things, I’d have done things right. May be someone to show the light. The question is why is an Elephant trying to climb a tree in the first place. That wasn’t the place for me and what I was doing was never what I wanted to do and everything else was just excuse and distraction. I can blame the whole world and situations and wonder if I had…. As a wise man rightly said, if you think they’re the problem, nothing will change. If you think you’re the problem, then everything will. Or may be its all my fault. Well, it is my fault of course. Because I’m sitting here looking at the world from a cubicle. That’s a mistake and I won’t be able to do what I came here to do if I continue the same and would get nowhere.

At that point, one thing was for sure. That silence was a deep breath before the storm. The thought that crossed my mind was “I want to be the person whom I never had”. Today the world we live in, 95% of the people live in conformity. Constantly looking for approval and trying to fit in and to get by. Now the question on the line is courage. Courage to convince myself to do it. I needed to have the courage to quit my job without searching for another one, as it was my first job. Courage to convince my family about it. Courage to get into the market that I don’t know. Learning sure helps. But COURAGE. It puts a very different face in people’s face. Sure, I did a lot of things and got nowhere and it was all invaluable learning experience. But the missing factor was a pair of testicles.

Hence the result of the equation is Black Major - The Human Development Company.

www.blackmajor.in

On a mission to propel people to take BOLD approach and transform their life.