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batsarebetterthanpeople · 2 years

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omg i felt weird abt sending that ask but i was hoping it would inspire some dumping of thoughts, hell yeah i relate a lot actually being autistic/adhd and a trans guy. which is honestly why i’m caught off guard by my recent izzy fascination. i think i’d be less fascinated if i was involved in the fandom and had been bogged down by discourse lol. like i fully HATED him on my first watch when the show came out a few months ago and prayed on his downfall but then i set the show aside for a while and rewatched it last month and since then i can’t stop thinking abt him. i think it’s bc i’m at a place rn where i find it rlly hard to connect to ppl, have to shove down my feelings to get by on the daily, i’ve have a bunch of very emotional ppl around me my whole life who i’ve had to manage things for, and bc of my autistic interest with character tropes starting from a super young age i sometimes have to work to see other ppl as archetypes of themselves rather than fully fledged nuanced ppl. so i’m interested in psychoanalysing him but not excusing his stuff bc he’s fr the most unhealthily coping person in the show which is saying something. but tbh i think if i let my walls down i’d relate to ed more? but the walls existing makes me relate a lot to izzy rn i think. but not that much bc like hey sucks and i’m gay. i will say i never got the repressed sexuality stuff from him but that’s just me. i read it more as him being completely repulsed by romance and emotion bc it stirs something in him he rlly doesn’t want to confront. idk i’m in my izzy hands blorbo era rn and trying to avoid talking to the wrong ppl abt it dbsnbd sorry if it’s annoying

Dude you're so valid. I hope you get better at letting people in and keep working on your empathy. I usually see Izzy kinning as a red flag but it sounds like you're relating to the fact that he's the only character on the boat who isn't in the found family and to the fact that he projects things onto people which you seem to be self aware of so ill let it slide. Onto Blorbo from my shows.

I suppose one doesn't have to read him as repressed. Although I don't think that him being a repressed gay guy and him being completely repulsed by romance and emotion because it stirs in him something he doesn't want to confront are necessarily so different. Either way the vibe is that he's scared or resentful of his own feelings for Ed. I've never thought that he was necessarily pretending to be straight or anything. This is all head canon at this point but to me I think he's probably willing to admit his sexual attraction to some men. (He knows he's attracted to Ed and would probably admit it if the right person asked him in the right way but he'd never even let himself form the thought "I want to fuck Lucius" much less say it out loud despite it being objectively true) But I that being said I think a repulsion to gay love, which we know he has because of the whole "He's done something to my boss's brain" bit (and all of the baggage that implying queer love is a corrupting influence carries), is still repression. I suppose if he's aromantic (I have seen that head canon floating since Con said that he isn't interested in a romantic relationship at the C2E2 panel) maybe not but Aro people don't choose not to love, they just don't experience romantic attraction. Izzy Hands seems to actively choose not to love, romantic or otherwise, because he thinks love makes you weak (if the way he treats a love sick Edward is any indication anyway). So IDK how comfortable I am with putting him in the aromantic category, just because there are so few aro characters and one of them being a man who despises love and is the villain in a rom-com trying to keep the alloromantic main couple apart isn't a great look, but that's a whole other thing.

But yeah avoiding certain people is a good plan because you really have to avoid certain takes. Because it's not like Izzy is Kylo Ren, right, he's not utterly deplorable in that sort of way (I know Kylo got a redemption arc but it was a shitty one that failed to actually redeem him and he was still a space fascist don't at me). He's just a fucked up guy on a pirate ship, if there was ever a place to be a fucked up guy it would be on a pirate ship. But if we're gonna sympathize with him we have to avoid certain takes and certain people. Like we just can't be pretending that he's not motivated by homophobia, we can't be pretending that Ed's abusing him somehow, we can't pretend that there's nothing to the reading of him doing some racist things, we can't pretend that he's some hypercompetent babysitter who is the only one getting things done on the ship (even if that's how he sees himself it's not true, it's proven wrong by the events of the show).

All that to say I guess he's a fun blorbo as long as you're not vilifying Ed or missing the point of the character. Probably keep avoiding Izzy stans tbh.

#izzy critical #ofmd #our flag means death

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chordata-on-alterhumanity · 6 months

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Aight, I'm back to blab more about Devilman-related thoughts, adding onto my last post. I tried watching Crybaby a few years back but only got about halfway through, but now I rewatched it to the end, so that's why I'm talking more.

Alright, first for something else.

I can't remember whether or not I've mentioned my identity as Beelzemon on this blog before. Earlier this year I came to terms with it being best described as me being an "IRL". It's a long story, but trying to keep it short, it's an identity that only encompasses phantom shifts and taking the shape during dreams. No memories, hence why I label it purely as an IRL identity. It's me now, no past, no parallel life, just me now in real life, so IRL. I'm aware many people who DO have exomemories use the label. The reason why I use it is that it's legit the only term that feels comfortable to me for it. I could call myself kin, but it feels off somehow. Idk. Doesn't really matter! I'm only talking about it to say that I've had this realization earlier this year, and it's enabled me to engage with this side of myself more healthily. It had always felt inferior to my other identites because of the lack of connection I'd felt to its source world. I like the Digimon world, but as a fan, not an alterhuman. Nowadays I feel good knowing and having accepted that it's about the character's appearance and no plot, places, people, etc.

I say I'm Beelzemon (Blast Mode) IRL, but really I'm not sure if I want to call myself a digimon. Beelzemon looks like me, close to it anyway, so that's why. Scratch the guns, the digivolving. The beak/bird head like "helmet", wings, tail... the demonic aspects, the tie to the sin of gluttony. It's stuff that falls in line so much. Beelzemon is a bird demon to me, close to a harpy even. My alterhumanity has been weird about birds, in a positive way. I've had a bad relationship with food for most my life, struggled with eating disorders since late teenage years, so the gluttony part is so hilariously fitting. I've grown up with being made to feel as if I'm inherently wrong, and in coming to terms with that being untrue and finding empowerment in seeing myself as a devil, the demonic stuff alligns too in hindsight. All is hindsight. These are all things I've been noticing this year lol

So then there's Devilman Akira and he's this human guy who's actually a demon. And I'm standing there, a human guy who's actually a demon, seeing him transform in Crybaby and oogling the claws on his feet like "Ugh man those are like mine.". He's animated really well in so many scenes. Just the physicality of movement that's pictured. It looks so relatable. Akira's a jackass imo though. Idk he triggers my rivalry sensors. The whole plot of the story is unrelatable to me and SIRENE IS THE ONLY ONE I REALLY CARE ABOUT I WILL SIMP I SIMP KAIM AND HER ARE SO TOUCHING ARGH really none of it except the way Devilman's drawn and animated makes me feel anything alterhuman. It's nice seeing a demon character similar to me in such a nicely done show. S cool.

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elia-de-silentio · 3 years

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Recap on the Order of the Clocktower, suppositions on the real plan, and predictions on the future of the arc

Well! After months of fights that led to very little and an almost nonstop series of cliffhangers, it seems like finally we're entering the final stage of this arc. And in the last two numbers I noticed ... something doesn't quite add up.

Let's make a brief recap on the Decay of Angels and the newly revealed last part of their plan. So, unlike what initially thought, the last part of their plan wasn't 'mostly terrorist activity', it was a goddamn vampire apocalypse that brought several nations to their knees in a handful of days.

This led the world leaders to decide that Fukuchi's speech of several chapters ago was right on the money, the only thing that can face such a catastrophe is an international army of which he will be given complete control. Moreover, to drive the point home ...

They deem fit to give him this. Another extra powerful weapon in the hands of exactly one person? Who can multiply the strenght of every weapon he's given? With no countermeasure if he gets out of control? What is these people's problem?!

By the way, take a moment to appreciate how Fukuchi got something that allows him to destroy the individual soldier's free will and control all of their actions, something he felt already happened to him and the trauma of which gives him motivation. He doesn't spare a thought on the fact that they will suffer just as much as he did, he can only think of his own pain.

So, Ranpo makes an observation that really shouldn't need a superior intelligence to be made: that with this trick, the Decay of Angels will have its goal served on a silver platter. World domination. Again, take a moment to appreciate how Fukuchi, who expressed anarchist beliefs and just the chapter before gave a neat speech on how politicians who order others around without any risk to themselves suck, coughed up a solution that was even more authocratic. Maybe all the 'you're the hero everyone depends on' talk got a little to his head.

But ... for what I've understood ... this is not the Decay of Angels's plan, this is Fukuchi's plan. If the inconsistences for him can be attributed to hypocrisy, for all the other four people in his group it makes even less sense.

Let's take a look at his four comrades, from the one less likely to subscribe to such a plan to the most likely:

• Bram Stoker: he's literally being threatened with death if he doesn't comply. One of the first things he says is protesting that he swore not to add any more people to his kin, but Fukuchi forces him. Once he complies, he express little interest for whatever is going on around him, everything he wants is a radio to pass the time in his coffin. World domination? Seems like an hard pass for him.

• Sigma. While fanon commonly portrays him as the 'good and cute not-really-a-villain', because he has a sympathetic backstory and shows kindness to the clients and staff of the casino, I'd like to point out that he's actually fairly amoral. He's in there because the Decay offered him a home; it makes sense that he's like that after being abused and aware of his being different from the rest of the world for all of his short life, but he still took part in a terrorist plan. Moreover, he was the one to send the casino's clients against the Hunting Dogs to hinder them - regular civilians against the very best of the army. It was actually Teruko who took upon herself and Tachihara not to harm civilians no matter what; what guarantee did Sigma have that she would have done that? What if she had listened to Tachi instead, who wanted to retaliate? Caring to clients and staff, but only up to a certain point. Even when he gave Atsushi that information, it was because of the latter's kindness towards him, not for some moral reason. Sigma is ultimately out only for himself. But this also means that he isn't really involved in the Decay's grand plan: he wants a home and that's it, tutto il resto fottesega.

• Gogol. Now we're getting a little closer. But not without incurring in another contradiction: Gogol hates restraints and orders, anything that gives a boundary to a human's actions. He detests even internal restraints, given by morality and his own sense of guilt. Why would someone like that partecipate in a plan that strips human beings of their own free will, and traps the world under the control of a lone person? Well, it's just speculation because we haven't seen him in ages, but I think it's part of his tendency to destroy himself in the name of freedom. He kills people to defy his own sense of guilt; he wants to kill Fyodor to destroy his desire to be understood and accepted; he collaborates in Fukuchi's plan to destroy his own beliefs in freedom, the thing that more than anything keeps him chained to a certain course of action. In his debut, he described the Decay of Angels's plan as pure evil and thus worth supporting; it's possible that he wasn't saying that under the common definition of evil, but in his own book, the anathema to Gogol's beliefs.

• Fyodor. Who has already stated a personal, very different goal: to acquire the reality-altering Book and make a world devoid of Ability users. All he needs for thar is wiping out the Ability-based organizations in Yokohama so he'll have a free pass, which is not exactly a small thing, but he doesn't need world domination for what he wants. So, why was he involved in such a plan? Well, this is a point I'll expand more on below.

I've already made another post on how the Decay of Angels are an extremely unlikely group and it's almost surprising they managed to work along enough to make this much damage. It's becoming even more evident now: Fukuchi is the only one really interested in the organization's goal.

The other one who gets closest is Fyodor, who, as we have seen, doesn't really care for that; but he gained what he wanted as an accessory. He wanted to get rid of Ability-users organizations in the city, and now the ADA members can't show themselves without getting attacked by the police, the Port Mafia has most of his top members turned into mindless vampires, and the Special Ability Department is about to be overruled by Fukuchi. Moreover, a Fukuchi with absolute power would be able to hand him the Book. Mission accomplished!

But there is this little detail: the Order of the Clocktower, those with the authority to hand Fukuchi the 'One Order'. There is very little known about them (I'm going from the wikia here): appearently, their purpose is to protect the British royal family, their members are Ability users of a terrific level, and they were responsible for chasing Mimic out of Europe after they gave the order for the attack who labelled them as war criminals in the first place.

Come se questo non li rendesse già infinitamente più cani di quelli che danno il titolo all'opera, in Dead Apple they contact Ango to inform him that, to prevent the spread of Shibusawa's fog, they sent an incineration-Ability user to destroy Yokohama (quickly, native readers of British/European literature! Any suggestion for who this person could be! I could come up with Cecco Angiolieri, Aldo Palazzeschi and Gabriele D'Annunzio, but I really doubt it could be any of them, nobody ever cares about Italian literature besides Dante. Your loss).

So, this can mean two things: either they are in contact with the Japanese government and acted with their agreement, or they have enough power to overrule it. Personally, I think the former is more probable.

Anyways, they aren't irrationally genocidal. Once Atsushi &Co. fix the situation, the attack is called off, even if their leader, Agatha Christie, complains about not having the scent of a burning nation to go with her tea. So, their leader: it's not the first time she shows up in the story.

She appeared all the way back in chapter 12, the same that also introduced Fitzgerald and Fyodor, in a meeting to discuss the failure of the bounty on Atsushi. Which tells us two very important things: first, as the other two were out for the Book, it's highly probable that she's after it as well; secondly, that she works with Fyodor, the very same person who orchestrated the plan that should get the One Order, a weapon under the control of Agatha's organization, in the hands of Fukuchi.

Now, Fukuchi is an interesting one under this point of view, because he wasn't even implied in the Chapter 12 Conference. We have seen that Fyodor likes to keep his fingers in multiple pies when it comes to razing the poor Yokohama to the ground: first he hacked the Moby Dick to make sure it fell; then he helped Shibusawa with the aforementioned fog incident; then he acted with his own organization with the Cannibalism plot; lastly for now, the Decay of Angels. As long as he gets to eliminate the Ability users, he doesn't care who he's working with.

Insomma, è 'na zoccola di nome e di fatto.

But we have also seen that Fyodor isn't above backstabbing his 'colleagues': he ignored the fate of Fitzgerald after he fell and took the opportunity to take the Guild's assets for himself, and he directly killed Shibusawa to turn him in the Singularity and send him to get killed by Atsushi. Note how Shibu got off even worse than Fitz: he wasn't in the Chapter 12 Conference, and it's likely he didn't know about the plan to incinerate Yokohama while Fyodor did, being acquainted with Agatha. It's even possible that was the whole point of his involvement in the operation: give her an excuse to attack, while he got an opportunity to cause the deaths of Ability users on the side.

My point is: you know how Fukuchi was not in the Chapter 12 Conference? And he just put himself in a position where if he is found out, things will have consequences on an international level, now that the Order got involved? And do you also remember how Fyodor mused to himself that he didn't make the perfect plan required by the Decay of Angels, because that would have been boring?

Le mie previsioni per quest'arco sono: Fukuchi è una tigre di cartapesta, e si ritroverà la sua super spada ficcata di prepotenza su per il culo.

A very faithful translation of the above: it is very possible that Fukuchi was set up to fail from the very beginning; or at the very least, Fyodor was keeping his plans with Agatha as backup in the case the Decay of Angels didn't work out .

When the ADA will defeat Fukuchi (because no one of his colleagues will lift a finger to help), they will once again play straight into their enemies's hands. Maybe they will 'officially' remain as dangerous terrorists, and then the Order of the Clocktower will have to intervene against them. Or they will actually rehabilitate themselves, and they will be once again celebrated as heroes while the Hunting Dogs will fall in disgrace - what with their leader being secretly a terrorist leaders, suddenly these very powerful people will become unreliable - and the goverment will make an horrible figure, what with persecuting innocent people while being played like fiddles by the real criminals; surely, this situation will call for someone more reliable to establish order in Japan, such as, perhaps, an intervention from an highly esteemed European Ability organization.

How things will proceed from then on, it's anyone's guess. It is possible that Agatha will use her power to have Dazai and Fedka the Convict released from jail, though why would she do that is up in air. Maybe it would be more convenient for her to leave such an unreliable ally where she can see him, and she has never met Dazai as far as we know, so she probably isn't much interested in him. This is as far as my prediction abilities come.

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd analysis #bsd meta #bsd theories #bsd doa #bsd fukuchi #bsd fyodor #bsd agatha #bsd gogol #bsd stoker #bsd sigma #elia's recaps

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lightrises · 3 years

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"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

#hollow knight #hornet (hollow knight)#hornet hollow knight #hk hornet #the radiance #hk radiance #herrah #hk herrah #hollow knight meta #sup folks it's been a minute since i dropped a whole dang essay but Here We Go!!!!!!

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musashi · 2 years

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(hi im gonna just live in this inbox for a hot minute) Anyway, question — do you recall what it was that spurred you into writing fanfiction in general (assuming that there’d been something to ignite that particular flame)? And uh…assuming that writer’s block is something you really deal with, what’re some things you do to combat it? (kinda hoping these q’s make sense; east coast’s finally starting to feel the cold and my brain hasn’t adjusted yet 😭)

thanks for waiting on this reply! i have had a weirdly busy life as of late xD hope you're keeping warm!

what spurred me into writing fic was not one single event, but historically it has always been either kin stuff or a want to tell stories about my friends. i am fictionkin, but before i had the language for that, my friends and i were just... attuning ourselves to fictional characters, if that makes sense? every year i'd be in a kinshift, and using limited vocabulary to describe that, and my friends would want to do it too so they'd pick the characters they felt the most and we'd all just melt into those roles. improv bits as the characters. notes passed in class written like little chatlogs between them. we'd just set these scenes, and so my friends and their characters blurred lines, and i'd write those lines because they were fun!

on the ACTUAL kin side of things, i get homesick. i miss people. i want to write love letters. DtE was a love letter to james, really--i feel overflowing with how proud i am of him, how much i adore him, how alight he makes my beating heart feel. and at the time of writing it, he wasn't there, i had no outlet--i could yell about him on my blog, or to my friends, but it never satiated me. so instead i wrote a whole epic story about the way i see him and love him, what i remember from our time together. and i took the opportunity to write about everyone else i loved, too, and the world i loved back when i lived in it. if you read my fanfic as letters of devotion from whoever i'm kin with, it becomes very obvious that love and gratitude is where i write from.

emergency situations is the same thing with Fi. it's hard to reconcile with how much she means to me and how much reverence and love i feel toward her, it's especially hard with how the fandom treats her. so instead i wrote poetry about her (with a sickfic, because it's really the only way i know how fghfhdg) i constantly call her my muse because writing about her makes me write better. a chapter of Down can read like shit but the second i start describing Fi--not even physically there, just her presence--my narrative waxes poetic, my grasp on language blooms with flowers, when i write from love i write well. it's the root of everything. it's all i can write about.

i miss people, i miss homes, i miss experiences--they live in my head, so i write them. i feel restless if i don't. i don't think i'll ever be 100% happy with my writing but i have TOO MUCH inside of me to not write. i HAVE to get it out.

i don't believe in writer's block. no disrespect to anyone who does! but i believe what people refer to as 'writers block' is just perfectionism most of the time. my mantra to myself is 'just fucking WRITE' like i get it. i get you want the story to be how it is in your head. i get you want to pick apart the language until you find the right words to justify the pictures you see. i feel it! it drives me insane. but i will not get anything done if i try to write a perfect story and so instead i just write a story. i don't care how shitty my sentences are or how dissatisfied i am with them. i just WRITE, and if i really hate it that much i can fix it later. but i can't make SHIT good unless i have a first draft.

often i find that writing it, stepping away from it, and coming back in even just a day's time, i am actually fine with the story i've written. it just feels better, to me, to have a hundred published stories i find kinda mediocre than it is to have a hypothetically perfect none.

i quite literally scream 'JUST FUCKING WRITE' at myself when i find myself succumbing to writer's block. that is hardly advice but it is, to be blunt, exactly what i do.

#wendy rambles #wendy answers #sereniatta

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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

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Hello!! Can I have a match up?

I really like your theme BTW :)))

Name: I have quite a few, but most call me Galaxia or Nacho

Gender/Pronouns: Female, she/they. I don't really care if people misgender me so calling me a he is fine tbh

S/O's gender: I'm still figuring things out but for now male :D

Personality: it's really just a mix of denki (mha) and sugawara. I kin suga. I'm the older sister of the group but the one who can't take care of herself. Likes to call people kid or child for jokes, and also platonically flirting. I'm only active when with my friends, else I'm pretty chill and quiet when in public. I may look confident, but when I get anxious my voice will literally start shaking. I also take insults pretty well other than the fact I will be salty to that person for the whole day.

Hobbies/Interests: Astrology (and a tiny bit of astronomy), drawing, writing, voice-act/singing, cooking, fashion design, skating (rollerskates) and sewing.

Things I look for in a partner: humor, whether it's hella dry or very random, as long as they get my jokes it'll be fine. They also need to be patient because I am the opposite. One of the most important is loyalty, I probably won't like it when I hear them fawn over someone else (unless it's an anime character)

Dealbreakers: emotions. I can't cope with it well enough by myself. So trying to figure out someone else's might be even worse. I don't like it when people are possessive or controlling, it makes me feel like I've lost freedom. I'd prefer if someone doesn't over react over something really small. If it's for jokes and giggles, it's completely fine. But no screaming match over something as small as an apple falling in a dirty box.

Aesthetic: my mood aesthetic is spacecore and witchcore. Clothing aesthetic would be skater

Colors to describe myself: purple (which is also my favorite color) and grey. Purple because I am indecisive as heck, and grey because it's energetic but calming at the same time.

Fav music: don't really have one, I listen to a lot of nightcore tho

Zodiac big three: Gemini sun, Aries moon, Aquarius rising

Personality type: entp

Facts about me:

I like management work

All of my negative 'vulnerable' feelings will immediately turn into anger/annoyance

I have a lot of moodswings

If you're living with me expect me to steal your whole closet as long as it fits me

I'm insecure about my chest and thighs cause I find them to big :(

I think that's it, thank you!!

again, apologizing that these are SO LATE because therye seriously. horribly late. but im getting it done and thats what's important

anyway this is half proofread i did a once over but im trusting spell check on this one 😅😅

I match you with...

Ushijima Wakatoshi!

How You Met ( & Got Together)

Childhood friends

Don't tell me no it was my first thought thinking about this

I think wakatoshi is harder to get to know as time goes on so meeting him really early on in life is leads to a closer relationship

While i also think this, i also think childhood friends to lovers is >>>>>>

top tier quality content here guys

Anyway i think you sat next to each other one day in like first grade (so sorry if ur not american thats like...age 7-8? If i did my math right)

And extroverted you decided to befriend the relatively quiet kid

There was no escape

At the beginning you might have worried he didnt like you but as time went on you learned he did genuinely enjoy your company

Im just gonna go off about the leading up to the relationship here because its

Its years of pining

You probably thought you had a crush on himwhen you were like 12 but then were like ahahaha no were just friends

Meanwhile he had the same thought but he also liked what you hd and didnt want to ruin that

He appreciated that you played volleyball with him when he wanted to practice however

I think his main love languages are acts of service and quality time we’ll get into that later but basically he likes to spend time with you. A lot of it. Because that’s his way of saying “i love you” no matter if he means it romantically or platonically

Fast forward to high school

Feelings are everywhere

I can't assume you're a jealous person but i’d like to assume you’d get a little jealous when you hear a bunch of people talking about how hot he is bc lets face it he is

But you dont know why bc like? You're not dating? So why jealous?

Here comes tendou to save the day

He’s the one that finally smacks you across the face like YOU. LIKE. HIM. DUMBASS. Bc if you're friends with toshi you're friends with satori

You two have the best chaotic vibes too and its amazing. Best little trio of buddies here

Satori is also trying his damnedest to make toshi realize that he likes you too which is taking forever

But bottom line they come up with a plan once toshi realizes it

Toshi shows up at your house one day like “youre not busty right” and basically drags out out of the house because you guys are going somewhere and he doesnt care where

After 15 minutes of idle chatter while walking you ask where you're doing and he says “i don't know, i was following you”

Which youre shocked at because hes the one that dragged you out but he has no clue where youre going?

He finally explains he just wanted to have a day out with you but doesnt care where you end up

So you just take him all around all day and its actually really sweet

You buy some food from a cafe and have a little picnic in a park and he finally just

“I would like to kiss you”

Which you’re like “…what?”

He just

“I was told to be direct in matters like these, so I wanted to take you out on a pleasant day and confess my feelings”

I don’t know how to talk about the rest of this scene but bottom line you two kiss and agree to be his girlfriend/significant other (depending on what title you prefer--she/they and he/they solidarity w you and me here lol)

General Headcanons

Okay this is where i really go off because T H IS

You said you want someone with patience and someone who isnt going to freak out over little things?? Perfect

He may come off a little stand-off ish and apathetic, but its just because he doesn’t exactly express emotion well. We know that much. That’s just wakatoshi

The only thing i’d say is that he doesn’t exactly have the best sense of humor. But I think he’s demi tbh and it takes him a long time and a strong emotional bond to fall for someone. Luckily, that’s you :)

He’s very likely to let you do your own thing. In a relationship he’s not very demanding and let’s you do whatever you want to do--i really think he’s just happy to be along for the ride

Which gets me back into love languages! I don't know what yours are but his are acts of service and quality time

He’s not one to say “i love you” very often, but he has other ways to express his love

He’ll always have a hair tie in his pocket if your hair is long enough to use it

Or he offers to help you with things like homework when you need it

Smart boy

Always has an hoodie/jacket with him because he’ll know you either will get cold or you just want it

If he ever forgets an extra, he’ll give you his

Does things like texts you to make sure you got home safe or just walks you home

Honestly the more time he can spend with you the better

I think he knows he’s not good at using words or physical affection to say he loves you but he tries in other ways

When he finds out he doesn’t have practice one day after school, he’ll go on a run and stop by your house when he’d all washed up and ask if you want to go out for dinner

If you don't want to go out? Expect him to cook for you

He can’t make crazy elaborate meals but he can make basic things that’s still nutritious

He finds every moment to spend time with you but sticks to a strict schedule so its not as common as youd like

But he is making an effort

Expect good morning and good night texts

Especially good morning kisses he wakes up at like 5am he’s probably up before you

He goes to bed by 9:30 but still remembers to text you good night every night

I think his apathy would be a point of argument eventually. Like its something that’s hard to deal with because he’s blunt and doesn’t always understand why you feel a certain way

He’s a very strong believer in “never end a fight on an angry note”

So if you guys end up in a fight expect a text later that day (or within 10 minutes) that just says “I know you may still be upset, so please do not feel obligated to respond, but just know i love you. When you are ready, I would like to talk more rather than argue.”

Such a gentleman

Anyway if he knows he was in the wrong he will apologize when you're ready to talk

Sometimes it might take a little more talking to him to get him to see your point of view, but eventually, you both will come to an understanding and either agree to disagree or work out a solution

He’s not the most physically affectionate person but he is cuddly

Like a big teddy bear

However he doesn’t know how to initiate it

Whenever you initiate cuddles, he’s more than happy to oblige because he does like it

Does a lot of waiting for you to initiate things like kisses and hand holding and cuddles and stuff but he really loves it

Melts right into you

Really loves you <3 dunno what else i can tell you my dude

A Date with Ushijima

I can't stop thinking about him cooking

So like

Night in with ushijima

He cooks ofc but imagine

Cooking together

He’ll turn on whatever playlist the both of you share

Like everything he does, if you want to take the lead, he’ll let you. If you don’t, he has no problem doing so

But if he’d more leading with cooking, he’ll let you sit on the counter and talk about your day

Steal kisses when he walks past you or ruffle his hair, he’ll get this little smile that’s the cutest thing ever

But you do a lot of talking and he’ll cook and listen and actually engage in listening

And you two get to eat together and probably watch a movie and its all sorts of comfy (did i mention the whole teddy bear thing because he really is)

He always gets excited when he sees random pictures or videos of him on snapchat/instagram (whatever you use) later that day because captions always make him smile

Zodiac & MBTI

See ENTP and ISTJ aren’t the most compatible, but based off of what you said specifically, I was thinking about it some more and I think Ushijima and you would work well together. Gemini and Leos are very compatible, though, so there’s that going for you! MBTIs and Zodiac signs arent always accurate, it just matters if you love each other (& I know he would love you).

Aesthetic

I got strong flower & butterfly vibes from this I don't know why. but the vibes are there.

Playlist

I don’t know a lot of nightcore, but i googled to see if any of these songs had nightcore covers and they do! You guys give e a lot of top 40 vibes but like...2010-2017 top 40 if you remember the vibes. No particular reason, just because I can.

Say You Won’t Let Go - James Arthur Counting Stars - OneRepublic Everybody Talks - Neon Trees Shut Up and Dance - Walk the Moon Sugar - Maroon 5

Runners Up

Kozume Kenma, Ukai Keishin

#//ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘꜱ #//ɪɴʙᴏx #again im so sorry this is so late #i hope you like it though #thank you for your patience!

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sortavibing · 3 years

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hiii (◕ᴗ◕✿) can i request for a match-up for the haikyuu boys? i'm a 4"10 girl with wavy black-brown hair that reaches my waist! my eyes are black brown too, & my skin tone ranges from tan to fair! i am also asian! ｡◕‿◕｡ i am quite thicc (yes thicc) but i am toned! i'm an enfp but despite my extraversion, i can be quite shy around new people and i can be a bit distant, too! i have a sharp sense of wit & humor, i can be talkative but i'm not boisterous i guess (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ i do have a talent for reading people & the situation tho! when i do feel comfortable, that's when i can get talkative! i can snap back sarcastically if the situation calls for it or if i feel like it but other times, i'm pretty chill. i do not have a concrete aesthetic (◕દ◕) i'm fine with sporty, athletic aesthetics & street fashion, i'm cool with cottagecore & looking dainty, sometimes i dress in a 90s style, whatever goes according to my mood! i'm not very athletic bc i never took up sports although i've been told to do so before. i've been told i'm very smart & talented, gifted even, but ig i'm burnt out HAHAHA point is, i'm not a very bookish person but i'm definitely not dumb either 😌 my hobbies include watching anime, listening to music, playing games, and napping! in a relationship, i can get confident but tbh i am screaming internally HAHHA usually, in my relationships, i'm the louder one! i am very tolerant and am usually the one to adjust to my S/O! i am very sensitive but i usually won't say anything to my S/O if they did something wrong. i'm a huge sucker for soft, pure relationships but also SPICY ones (人 •͈ᴗ•͈) if it helps, my type of guy is usually the strong silent one, the socially selective one, or the really cocky, sarcastic one! i'm also lowkey a sucker for height differences teehee

(ps i kin oikawa! yes we both have issues about inferiority & superiority & we can become narcissistic to hide our insecurities,, bonus: i'm a burnt out A+ student)

pt.2 of request: hii (◕ᴗ◕✿) same girl here! the 4"10 asian enfp! i'd like to add i have strong facial features too! i have long eyelashes but they're not noticeable so i look like i don't have them ಠ︵ಠ i have thick eyebrows, thick lips, & deep set hazel eyes! i wear glasses! when i wear them, i look very scholarly & soft but i've been told that without them, i look kinda bitchy & intimidating HAHAHA

hello! thank you for requesting! please the gifted kid burnout is real for me😐ahaha i should be studying for a social studies test and writing a la essay but whatever i’d rather do this. anyways, here’s your matchup!

i match you up with atsumu!

this man is the cocky sarcastic person you are looking for :) he will never give up an opportunity to make a shady comment that is really obviously shady, and he KNOWS he’s really good at volleyball, and he will not hesitate to offhandedly mention it in a conversation. just the vibes atsumu gives off radiate that “i know i’m better than you” energy, but it doesn’t mean he’s disrespectful or anything, he just knows he’s hot shit and he isn’t afraid to say it.

he loves to show you off to his friends, because he wants the whole world to know that he was able to get such a beautiful girlfriend, and he also wants osamu to never forget that he got a s/o before him. atsumu will always compliment you whenever you guys are out in public, because he just wants you to know how amazing you are.

atsumu is really clingy, and he is a big fan of pda, so if you are comfortable, he will always be around you, with his arm wrapped around you shoulder, waist, or holding your hand, because he loves being around you, and if he’s able to do it whenever he wants, that’s an added plus. he will always ask before he does anything more touchy, like kissing, because we stan a man who asks for consent😌

every couple of weeks you guys binge an anime together, and the entire time atsumu will make comments about what he would’ve done, or how much he hates a character. you guys have gotten into many playful arguments over anime plots and fight scenes, and they almost always end in you hitting him with a pillow, and then atsumu playfully tackling you until you have to surrender.

you guys also really like to play video games with each other, and atsumu’s favorite game to play with is super smash bros, because you guys get really competitive, and sometimes even bet things on who you guys think will win. atsumu may or may not lose on purpose just to see you smile when you beat him :)

when you and atsumu nap together, atsumu likes to be the big spoon, and he always likes to play soft music while you guys just talk about whatever until you guys fall asleep. atsumu also likes when he is laying on his back, and you lay on your stomach on top of him, and he runs his fingers through your hair while humming along to the music.

he will make dirty jokes in public to see how you will react, and if you do react, he will keep on doing it until you get mad at him. if you fire back with a dirty joke, he will just stop midsentence in surprise, and then quickly rethink his life and stop talking. for the rest of the convo, he will be in a slight state of shock, because he thought he was the dirtier of you guys, but then you proved him wrong.

before he met you, atsumu had bad music taste- like he only listened to trap remixes and the wii menu theme, but once you introduced him to your favorite songs, he quickly became hooked and started sharing the same taste as you. he still likes the wii music though, so if you guys are listening to his playlist, it will randomly pop up, and he will quckly skip it, and pretend that he doesn’t like the song. (ok but it’s a bop tho🤠)

he really likes when you come to his volleyball games, so for a few days leading up to a game, he will offhandedly mention it, until you offer to come, and then he’ll pretend that it was your idea, while poorly masking his excitement. once he sees you at the game, he will immediately point you out to his teammates, and whenever he performs a good serve or set, he will look at you and wink.

overall, you guys are a couple that can really act like themselves around each other, and you guys aren’t afraid of what the other will think of them. people envy you guys for your chaotic energy and care for each other, and atsumu thinks you are so pretty and smart, so he is sure to remind you about this every chance he gets.

i hope you enjoyed!

#haikyuu #haikyuu matchups #haikyu #atsumu #atsumu miya #atsumu headcanons #atsumu imagines #atsumu x you #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyu headcanons #haikyu imagines

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taeyamayang · 2 years

Note

now that you've mentioned it, i do sound like someone from the 1800s writing to their old friend 🥲😭 i'll try my best not to sound like one 😖 akaashi? that is a big compliment ○.○ just tried a haikyuu kin test and got akaashi twice so i guess that's something 😭

ahah well im barely more than halfway through and i took a lot of breaks in between 😌 but it is a good show the more you watch it. as for kotaro, i just finished it today and it's more so found family based. without spoiling anything, the kid's backstory does get a little sad. it's a decent show overall though and there were many cute moments to make up for it. uwah i've been meaning to watch given as well but i gotta finish the 10 other animes i put on hold 😋👍 do you also have 20 other animes in your watchlist? 😭

also, just thought i'd post a simple qns. i've read most of your works from tr and jjk and i wonder, how do you get the inspiration to write your works? based on my tr request prompt, you managed to wrote up a oneshot just by a few words, and it was pretty well done as well! what's your thought process when writing?

as always, i hope you have a great rest of the week! don't forget to stay hydrated and safe. be grateful for the little things and i'm soso proud of you. keep up the good work!

ps. i saw ur loves tag and i'm crying?? you didn't have too oml thank you <33

(i always seem to write too long and im so sorry about that 😭)

🌻

no! it's totally fine i like how we have this 1800s dynamics lmao btw i'm sorry it took awhile to write back because i've been busy and i always forget to check my ask box lol and yes you really do give me akaashi keiji vibes hm 🤔

you know what? funny thing i skipped kotaro lives alone cos i heard people say that the kid has a sad background/history and i personally have to mentally prepare myself for emotionally elevating scenes/series bc i feel uncomfortable handling heightened emotions (i'm a bit constipated in showing feelings) SO i moved on to watch given. i finished the series and the movie as well AND SHIT YOU NOT it was a freaking emotional show. i was caught unprepared for it and now i'm all over the place, broken beyond repair BUT I LOVE IT it was well pulled off but still i... sigh, i'm a clown for skipping kotaro lives alone bc of the kid's sad history when given is a whole lot more depressing/angsty.

yes, i do have a long list of animes to watch and i wish i have an extra pair of eyes (aside from my glasses lmao) and brain to consume all the media i want.

that's a cute question, i didn't expect you to ask something about my writing. it makes me feel giddy knowing that someone is interested in knowing how i write gsnsbsns :')

anyway, so i get my inspiration from requests. reqs are like prompts to me, they give me an image or scene to start off with then from there i choose which character (if not given) fits it based on their personality. so, i fit the scene to the personality of the character i will write for then i try to come up with a situation that is likely to happen behind the scenes of the show so it will be relatable for the viewers and readers (e.g: from your request i thought, in the anime only scenes of the actual gang meetings are shown but what happens before the meeting when the captains are waiting for the rest of the members? since they usually start late afternoon to evening maybe they eat first before holding a meeting? then, what transpires in that scene? what could possibly happen within that period of time? do they hang out like ordinary teens their age? how do they converse?) so basically i look for loopholes in the series (if the writing is canon based) then i write for it, i create scenes from what if's.

ㅡholy fuck i suck at explaining.

but i do hope you understand what i meant.

how about you? any updates going on in your life? how's breathing? kidding. but don't hesitate to share anything random about you or your life. i would love to get to know you more.

you never forget to leave me a sweet message, sunflower anon. your words warm my heart :) i hope you eat well today, don't forget to hydrated yourself and look out for your mental health. no one is more important to you than yourself.

i hope to hear from you soon! 'till then, lovely 🌻

#anon.🌻#pea.asks

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