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pulisicsgirl · 1 year

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flustered assessments - christian pulisic

summary: Y/N is a nursing student struggling to study for an assignment and Christian offers to help out by letting her do an assessment on him; super fluffy, established relationship

pairing: Christian Pulisic x nursing student!reader

word count: 2.4k

notes: this is the first fic that I'm posting on here!!! :) this fic is entirely self-indulgent and I wrote it during finals week last semester, so it might be super niche, but I still thought it was cute so and figured I would share it. please tell me what you think!

You held your head in your hands as you hunched over the desk, all your work laid out before you. Your mind seemed to spin as you tried to take in and retain all of the information written in your notebook and printed on the sheets of paper before you. You were preparing to head into final exam week as a junior-year nursing student, and you were due to perform a graded head-to-toe assessment the following morning. Nerves wracked your body as you tried to go through the checklist you had to complete (from memory). You wiggled your fingers as you read through your notes, trying to dispel some of the anxiety you were feeling.

You felt a light pressure on your back and a kiss was placed on your neck, just below your ear, as Christian leaned his body over you and wrapped his arms around your torso.

He had come over earlier that night so the two of you could try to spend some of his very limited time off together, but when he realized how much work you had piling up before exams and how stressed you were about studying, he immediately shifted gears, encouraging you to do whatever work you needed to and doing his best not to distract you. It meant a lot to you that he recognized how important your studies were to you, and that he didn’t try to convince you to spend time with him instead. You had wanted nothing more than to spend the evening wrapped in his arms under a blanket on the couch, watching a movie until you drifted into a peaceful sleep—honestly. But with so many tests looming in your near future, you knew you wouldn’t be able to relax and focus on spending time with him—and he realized that too. So for the last few hours, he has wandered in periodically, ensuring that you had snacks and took breaks every so often. He talked you down from your anxious thoughts, reassuring you that you were capable of the things that you had set out to do.

“Hey, baby. Just checking in,” he said, almost at a whisper. “How are things going?”

You sighed softly, subtly leaning back into his chest and groaning in frustration. “I feel so overwhelmed,” you whined, rubbing the palms of your hands in your eyes. “I feel like I’m just reading the same information over and over again and not retaining anything.” Christian stood up straight, using his fingers to gently massage your shoulders as you tilted your head back to look at him. His faced held a sympathetic look as he stared back down at you.

He thought for a moment. “What are you working on right now?”

“I’m trying to prepare for the head-to-toe assessment I have to do in the morning,” you gestured to the equipment you had laid out on the desk. Your stethoscope, blood pressure cuff, and pen light, among other tools, lay unused on the surface.

“Would it help if you actually went through the assessment instead of just reading about it?” he asked softly.

You pondered his words for a brief moment. “Yeah, actually,” you looked back up at him. “It might.”

A grin broke out on his face, accentuating the soft dimples in his cheeks. “You could do it on me!” he replied with excitement. He had always loved seeing you practice any of your nursing skills. He often made remarks about how you were his “smartie pants” that was going to save lives one day, and it warmed your heart each time. Any time he would feel an ache or pain, he would come to you to ask what was wrong, and whether you had the answer or not, you knew that he secretly just loved when you would dote on him and try to take care of him.

“Really? Are you sure?” you asked. He just nodded, bouncing lightly on his toes in excitement.

“Where do you want me?” he asked with a grin. You told him to go sit on the bed while you grabbed your tools and a couple sheets of paper. You placed them on the bedside table and tried to mentally prepare yourself to do the assessment.

“Okay, so…” you looked up at Christian’s face which only held a small, eager, and supportive smile. He was sitting up at the top of the bed with his back against the headboard. In an instant, you felt a wave of anxiety as you thought about how unprepared you felt for this assignment. You pulled on the fingers of your right hand, a habit that you often did when you were nervous.

Christian picked up on this, leaning forward to grab your hands with his own. “Hey, baby. Relax,” he spoke softly, as though you were a small, scared woodland animal that he was doing his best not to spook. He gently pulled you forward, uttering a soft, “c’mere” as he pulled you to sit on his lap, with your legs on the outside of his so you were straddling him. He placed both of his hands on your cheeks, looking intently into your eyes. “It’s just me and you here. You can do this. And you can run through it as many times as you need to tonight. I’ll be right here.” His thumb stroked your cheek gently. “Okay?” You felt butterflies in your stomach at his words as you nodded and glanced down. Even after as long as you had been together, he never failed to get you flustered.

You took a deep breath, trying to center yourself and focus on his encouragement, and he moved his hands from your face, settling them on your hips. You decided to just stay where you were to do the assessment—it wasn’t the most conventional way to assess a patient by any means, but you felt better when you were close to him. You leaned over to the bedside table, grabbing your notebook and a pen so you could jot down notes as you went.

“Okay,” you paused, collecting yourself. “Hi, my name is Y/N, and I’m going to be your nurse today.” You glanced up to Christian’s face, feeling almost giddy at the amused look on it. “I need to do a head-to-toe assessment on you, is that okay?” You mentally went through the elements of the introduction that you needed to fulfill, checking each one off in your head as you went.

Christian replied with a “yes, ma’am,” and a short nod.

“Okay, can I get your name and date of birth?”

“Christian Pulisic. September 18, 1998.” You had already begun writing down the answer before he started speaking, already sure of his answer.

“Do you know what day of the week it is?”

“It’s a beautiful Thursday evening.”

You giggled at his response, feeling a little more anxiety flutter away. “Do you know where you are?”

“Your apartment?” he questioned, not exactly sure how he was supposed to answer. You just nodded to show that he was fine.

“Alright, and do you know why you’re here?”

“To help my beautiful, genius girlfriend study for her exams so that she can ace this tomorrow and go on to become the most brilliant and talented nurse this world has ever seen.” You felt the heat rush into your cheeks at his response. You looked up to his face and found an earnest honesty in his eyes as he grinned at you. You shook your head with a laugh, turning back to your notes.

“Are you in any pain?”

“No.”

You began taking his vital signs, pretending to take his temperature and oxygen saturation since you didn’t have the equipment to do those. You took his blood pressure and counted his pulse and respirations, noting them on your paper.

“Everything normal?” he asks.

“For the most part,” you smiled. “Your heart rate is kind of fast, but I usually don’t take my patient’s pulse while I’m sitting in their lap, so that could have something to do with it.” He smiled sheepishly, dropping his chin to his chest as he laughed at himself. “And your blood pressure is just a hair high, but with as active as you are and how well you eat, I wouldn’t worry about it. It probably just has to do with the heart rate thing, too.”

You continued assessing him to the best of your ability, asking him questions about how he had been feeling and checking his eye movement with your pen light. Christian continued trying to make you laugh as he followed all of your directions. When you asked him to puff out his cheeks to test one of the cranial nerves, he crossed his eyes, acting as goofy as he could.

You began asking him questions related to his heart, asking if he had experienced any chest pains or dizziness. You put your stethoscope in your ears and, as you did so, Christian leaned forward off of the headboard, pulling his shirt over his head quickly, and discarding it on the floor. You felt the heat flooding your face once again as you studied his bare abdomen.

“Like what you see, Nurse Y/N?” he wiggled his eyebrows as he spoke.

You rolled your eyes, laughing anyway. “Just shut up and lean back,” you giggled, pushing his chest. You placed the stethoscope to his skin, listening to the soft lub-dub, lub-dub of his heartbeat, a soft smile passing over your face. It was one of your favorite sounds—his heartbeat. It was a comforting sound, knowing he was alive and well. You had fallen asleep many times, head pressed to his chest as the steady rhythm lulled you to sleep.

You jotted down some more notes as you took the stethoscope out of your ears, turning back to look at him. “Do you have any history of smoking?” you asked with a smile, as you already knew the answer.

“No,” he smiled.

“Alright, have you experienced any coughing recently? Any difficulty or pain with breathing? Any shortness of breath?”

“Well… a little bit,” he pondered, tapping his finger to his chin. You quirked your head to the side, raising an eyebrow at him in question. Why hadn’t he mentioned to you that he was having trouble breathing recently? A thousand possibilities ran through your head in an instant.

“Well, you know… because you took my breath away,” he raised his eyebrows as if to say, ‘that one was pretty good, huh?’.

You just grabbed your notebook, writing in it once more. “Patient… thinks… he’s smooth,” you spoke slowly as if you were writing the words in your notes.

“Heyyyy,” he groaned and both of you laughed.

You continued working through the list of what you needed to do, checking off each item, one by one. As you were working through the neuro section, Christian moved his hands from your hips, down to settle on your thighs, where he rubbed the pads of his thumbs over the exposed skin just below the hem of your shorts.

“Have you, um… h-have,” your breath caught in your throat, suddenly feeling flustered at the soft touch of his fingers. You swallowed hard, attempting to pull yourself together and promptly failing. You dropped your hands into your lap in defeat, letting out a heavy sigh. “You have to stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” He wore a sly grin on his face.

“You know what you’re doing,” you groaned.

He laughed at your desperation. “Come on, if you can do it in these circumstances, you can do it in any setting,” he retorted, raising his eyebrows at you. As much as you may not like it, he was probably right.

You sighed again, stretching out your back and shaking your head to try to refocus yourself.

Soon enough, you had finished your checklist, looking through your notes to ensure you hadn’t forgotten anything.

“Alright, I think that’s everything,” you smiled at him. “I diagnose you as… alive.”

“Oh, good. I was worried,” he said in an amused tone, squeezing your thigh. “Alright,” he took the checklist from your hands. “Run me through everything you would do for an assessment, and I’ll check you.”

You took a deep breath, pulling at your fingers again. One of his hand resumed it’s position on your thigh. “Okay I start by introducing myself, I get two patient identifiers and assess for alertness and orientation. Then I’ll take temperature, pulses, respirations…”

You continued listing everything you could remember, running through the assessment in order in your head.

When you reached the end, Christian beamed at you, setting the sheet of paper on the bed beside you. “You aced it. Every last thing on that list—you got it.”

“Really?”

“Every. Last. One.” He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’m so proud of you.” Your heart fluttered in your chest as you closed your eyes, leaning your head onto his shoulder. He ran his fingers gently over your back, tracing patterns into your spine. “You’ve been studying for hours now, and you’ve got this material down. Do you feel comfortable calling it a night? We can run through it again a couple times in the morning before you actually head in to do it.”

You smiled to yourself at his supportive and caring words. You nodded, head still on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around your torso, scooting down the bed so that he could lay down, pulling you to lay on his chest. You instantly melted into him, feeling the ache in your shoulders and back as you finally relaxed.

In a matter of minutes, you felt your eyelids begin to droop as Christian continued rubbing your back slowly.

“Thank you for helping me study,” you spoke slowly, sleep already threatening to take you. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend much time together tonight.”

“It’s okay, baby. Next week, after you crush your finals, I’ll take you out and we can spend all the time in the world together then.”

That simple statement made you smile, giving you something to look forward to after a long week of exams.

And sure enough, Christian was right. After a night of peaceful rest in his arms, the two of you ran through the material a couple more times the next morning, and then, after you had donned your scrubs (earning several cheeky remarks from Christian about how hot you looked in them) you headed into the lab to do the assessment with your instructor and passed it with flying colors.

#christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic imagine #christian pulisic imagines #christian pulisic fics #footballer fics #footballer fic #footballer imagine #footballer imagines #football imagine #football fics #christian pulisic fluff #christian pulisic #christian pulisic fanfic #christian pulisic one shot #christian pulisic blurb

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zerobaselove · 1 year

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more than words | park gunwook

pairing: gunwook x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 794

warnings: none! lowercase intended, not proofread

prompts: 29. "what's going on in that little head of yours?"

notes: it's late and i'm in my gunwook feels as a distraction rn (act surprised) so here we are :D

it wasn't abnormal for you to get stressed easily, it was in your nature. gunwook said it was one of your charms, how much you cared about things, subsequently letting them stress you out beyond belief; but you considered it more of a flaw than anything as you sat here with your boyfriend, head in your hands with a million what if's swirling in your head instead of appreciating the boy in front of you.

"what's going on in that little head of yours?" he chuckled, his hand coming up to ruffle your hair, a curious smile plastered across his face. "just a little stressed, don't worry about me wookie." you tried to give your most convincing smile, failing miserably as your lips pressed together unwillingly.

you knew he'd worry, that was in his nature, but you really didn't mean to worry him. everything had just been building up and there were just one too many looming deadlines that you didn't know how to tackle. he nodded, understanding at least a bit of what was going on in your head. he was good at that, knowing what you were thinking without saying anything.

he knew there was no use in telling you not to stress, that'd be like telling a baby not to cry or the sun not to shine. it was bound to happen, and that was okay. so he went for the best thing he could think of, "how can i help you?"

your heart skipped a beat at his offer; you weren't sure how he always knew just what to say, but here he was, trying to take the burden off of your shoulders, and you couldn't be more thankful.

there was no use denying him graciously, he was too stubborn and keen on helping you for that, so you simply pondered for a moment, running a mental checklist of things you needed to get done, starting with the most urgent. "is there a chance you could read over this essay," you breathed out, grabbing your laptop as you searched for the document, "i've been staring at it so much the last week i'm not even sure there are words there anymore." you and gunwook both let a laugh out at your confession.

"of course i can," he smiled, flashing his gummy smile at you, his hand coming up to ruffle your hair once again, "anything for my baby."

it wasn't long before gunwook had read through the whole essay, turning the laptop back to you to point at the screen so you could both see. "i don't know much about the subject honestly, but i still understood what it was about, so that's a plus for you," he started, genuinely invested in the document in front of him, "but this section feels a little cluttery, if that makes sense?" he asked, judging your expression for a moment before continuing, "maybe if you moved this sentence to the beginning so it'd introduce the theory more explicitly."

"that's actually a really good idea," you quickly rearranged the paragraph, reading it aloud after, immediately more pleased with the flow and clarity of your ideas. "i don't know why i didn't think of that." you sighed, shaking your head.

gunwook only laughed, placing his hand on your leg, rubbing circles on your knee, "it's why you keep me around."

if only he knew, you thought to yourself. you weren't sure what you'd do without the boy if you were honest; without his random texts throughout the day about every passing thought, without the tiny dances he'd do every time he got excited, or the bright gummy smile that lit up every room he went in to. not to mention his kind words and actions that made your heart speed up with every passing second.

"oh gunwook, the list of reasons is endless, this is only one of many." you placed your hand on top of his, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. a blush had made it's way to his face, the light pink dusting his cheeks only making him just that more endearing as he closed his eyes and moved his free hand to cover his face.

a whine left his mouth, unable to form words, before you pulled his hand away from his face, moving a few stray hairs from his eyes, "i'm serious gunwook, i love you and appreciate you more than words can say, and i won't let you forget that," your hand moved to cup his face, feeling the heat radiating off of his skin, "not with how much you are here to remind me."

he shut his eyes again for a moment, this time melting into your touch. "i couldn't have said it better myself."

#zerobaseone #zerobaseonefics #boys planet #boys planet fics #boys planet imagines #boys planet reactions #kpop #boys planet drabbles #zb1 #zb1 x reader #zb1 imagines #park gunwook imagines

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aspd-culture · 2 months

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aspd and adhd(/possible autism) culture is realizing only once you're out of high school "ohhhhhhh wait, so i thought i wasn't abused growing up, but actually i was and it only stopped due to covid, and that resulted in my osdd system and aspd?"

buckle up, this is Long and definitely classifies as a Vent. honestly, you can ignore the middle section and jump to the next blank line of space if you want.

jesus christ. i was punished more harshly than my peers, i struggled to make friends, i was put into a little school program where board games were used to reinforce good behavior in problem kids which i only realized two months ago, my memory issues (which were always there, but only noticed in fifth grade) got me into so much shit with every authority figure ever, i broke a window using one of those mechanical hamster things that were popular at the time by accident but i didn't care at all, that's just scratching the surface

memories of things have been coming back to me lately. according to my mom i was such a nice little kid, always shared and was polite and highly empathetic, all the goods.

school came along, flipped everything on its head. i remember harassing and hurting animals, and people, and sometimes telling those people not to tell—not because i felt bad but because i didn't want to get into trouble again, it was an inconvenience. my home life was pretty good but other kids left me out of things a lot and sometimes called me names, even the neighbors' kids i liked to hang out with would make me the monster of their games and that does something to a kid (one of them is also the reason i'm a victim of cocsa). when i did something wrong or bad there was only punishment because i "should know not to do that" and so i had to teach myself how to be a functioning and good member of society. i got good at lying towards the end of third grade, the skill got better from there with every punishment i faced

when a former friend told me "hey, you have aspd traits/might have aspd" i went and found the checklist, because thorough research is how i work, went through it. at the time i didn't think it fit very well because "yes, i experience that but that's pretty normal for people, i learned how to manage it under several layers of creating a socially acceptable person just like everyone else"

i've gone back to it a couple times since and wow, surprise surprise, everything applies! the "this doesn't apply to me because i have a system to help with this thing" mindset means the thing still applies! there's some stuff, namely the destruction and truancy, that i didn't do but that's solely because i knew i couldn't get away with it and therefore didn't bother trying. so thanks to aaaaaaall that stuff and more, i definitely grew up with both conduct disorder and odd, and now it's aspd

i can't say i'm mad about having aspd? it causes problems in my life, yes, but i've spent so long wrangling myself into a form small enough to fit into society's box that it's not the worst thing anymore. i think i'm more mad at society, my peers, for not helping me with this and being kind where they should've, especially my mom as of recently

that said: it is fucking hard-wired into me that there's only good people and bad people in the world. harmful behavior towards me (or someone else doing something i can't forgive) is automatically met with hammurabi's eye for an eye. the coping mechanisms i use work very well, are generally healthy, and people who don't do anything to calm themselves down and think rationally tend to piss me off. i have been fighting those things for a while but they're the ones that simply won't go away. hamburger help me.

aspd-culture-is

There's a lot of good information in this ask. Too many people see ASPD as a direct result of physical abuse or CSA/SA, when a lot of ASPD symptoms really develop around things that are seen as smaller issues, where a child's problems get diminished by the people who are supposed to help that child to the point where they feel the only person that will help them is themself.

More than anything else, I personally think a very quick and simple way to decrease the number of people who end up with ASPD would be to get parents and other caregiving adults, and honestly society as a whole, to understand that regardless of how simple, silly, or insignificant it may seem to someone older, these "silly" things are often the worst thing the child has experienced up until that point. Someone always having to be the monster sounds like nothing to an adult, leading to no response to help besides maybe "they're just teasing you, ignore them". But "just teasing" is the most social rejection a child has experienced to that point, and so it is extremely distressing and emotionally painful. It feels like the most isolated they could possibly be, because they haven't been around long enough to experience worse. Then, the child is told to ignore it, which not only fails to make them feel better, but often causes it to get even worse as the other kids try and push harder to get the reaction they're looking for. Do they eventually give up? Sometimes. But the lengths and extremes many bullies will go to when "just teasing" doesn't elicit a response is disturbing and that fact is either unknown to or ignored by adults.

Part of why always being made the monster does something to a kid is that it is treated as a non-issue. When that is what a developing brain learns is the reaction to their pain, they will no longer seek outside help when things become extreme.

TW: descriptions of SA/r threats. Skip the following paragraph and move to the next one to avoid. Also a bit of a vent.

When I was in school, I was teased. I was made the dog who was not allowed to talk or a person with their vocal chords removed any time we played pretend. Sometimes they made me a rock or stick on the ground, even. It sounds like nothing, and when I was told it would go away if I ignored them, I listened. It didn't stop them. It led to an entire set of multiple schools that were combined into one building seeing me as a verbal and sometimes physical plaything; a place to take out your angst and distress. I lost my personhood in their eyes, so my understanding of social interactions were tainted and colored by the way my peers treated me. I told anyone who tried to befriend me not to be seen talking to me, to bully me publicly so they wouldn't get the treatment I got, so even the few people who tried to be kind got a skewed, unnatural social interaction with me. Many listened, and I don't hold that against them at all. That's simply what they had to do to make it. It got to the point of receiving verbal and *detailed, written-out, and signed* r word threats, and boys who were 11 years old talking about kidnapping tying me up in their parents attic and using me whenever they wanted (theirs was more detailed). Some even attempted to touch me, and adults nearby ignored it because "X likes to handle it themselves, they don't like when adults get involved", because I learned that they would only vaguely say stop, and it would get worse. That's what happens when you just ignore it.

And what do we call a person who learns that only they can protect themselves, and who doesn't understand any positive interaction with anyone that isn't transactional? Antisocial. I hate the idea what a positive relationship with family is incompatible with ASPD, sorry about the rant. Because of how ASPD develops, I refuse to dislike or resent myself or my symptoms when it comes to ASPD. If people didn't want me like this, they shouldn't have treated me like this.

Plain text below the cut:

TW: descriptions of SA/r threats. Skip the following paragraph and move to the next one to avoid. Also a bit of a vent.

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome #tw sa mention #tw abuse mention

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dawnrider · 4 months

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For #WIP Wednesday I bring you a snippet of what I'm working on for @inuparentsday 2024! A modern AU with the lovely Izayoi discovering that the house she got for a steal in a great neighborhood was a steal for a reason...

Inspired by art by the delightful @heavenin--hell (Yes, that one.)

Snippet below the cut!

It was a good deal. In this housing market, one couldn’t turn their nose up at a great deal like this. So what if people said the furnace made odd noises. And the water heater growled when it was heating up. And the plumbing tended to clang and bump when the water went through it… Those were nothing when you took the price into account! She would have plenty to do the renovations she wanted to do. Fixing up the garden, painting the walls, eventually replacing the appliances… The neighborhood wasn’t even a “bad” one! Signing the paperwork, she had repeatedly felt like she was getting away with something very sneaky and that – at any point – someone was going to show up and tell her it was a mistake, that they had missed several zeros on the price and could she please come up with the remaining amount. Yet here she was, standing in front of her new front door to her new house in her new neighborhood in a new city. She let out a sigh of happiness as the lock turned with the key and the old door swung open with a creak. “Nothing a little WD-40 can’t fix,” she chirped. As she went through the house to look at it more closely, she started a mental checklist of the things that “just needed a coat of paint” or “a new set of hinges” and “maybe a new sink…” Her cheeriness faded some, but seeing the view from the upstairs sitting room and the balcony beyond it made it all worth it. Perched on one of the elevated neighborhoods that overlooked the main part of the city, she could see the ocean just beyond that. The sun set just beyond the horizon with the water often sparkling in the foreground. It was amazing. It was by far the most beautiful place she had ever lived in her entire life. One of the first things Izayoi did was set up her office in the sitting room. If she was going to continue to afford the mortgage on this house, no matter how small the payments were in comparison with her old house, she would need to make sure she could work. Part of that meant getting someone out to install her internet. Apparently there had never been anything all this time and there would need to be a fresh installation. Izayoi had that in her budget, but finding someone to actually do the work was proving a much greater challenge than she would have expected. “Yes, that’s the address,” she repeated. The operator hung up on her. “That was rude,” she muttered, staring at the receiver in her hand. She dialed the next number and was met with much the same treatment. Six more calls and she was running out of numbers in the yellow pages. Finally, someone at least told her why no one would listen past the address. “Lady, I don’t care if you’re willing to pay extra. That place is haunted and I’m not sending any of my guys in there.” “Wait… Seriously?” “Yea. No one here is gonna take that job. That’s why it’s never had a hookup. The only reason you got phone service is because the lines are on poles for that and it comes in through the roof.” “Please! If the phone lines are in that way, can’t you…” “No. Cable’s gotta go in through the ground and into the basement. City ordinance. So you either deal with dialup, or you get satellite.”

#dawnrider fanfiction #inuyasha fanfiction #inuparents day 2024 #Touga #Izayoi #TogIza #how to make a hanyou

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jovalencia · 3 months

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okay the conversation before I forget it.

we talked for two and a half hours and we walked three full laps around campus and for the first 3/4 of a lap we were just talking about our classes and what we've been up to and whatever the fuck. I mentioned something about my stomach hurting and not feeling super great and he was like "well it's probably your poor diet" then went on about how I shouldn't just eat the same three things and how I need a balanced diet and how I should "just eat more" and that I was malnourished and told me what I should have at each meal like. FUCK you like actually go to hell. when you Know I've had a lot of stomach problems and eating problems? go fuck yourself.

but that was a graceful lead in to me being like "yeah well my stomach also hurts because I was super nervous to talk to you" and he was like "oh?" and I was like "yeah did you really think we were gonna be able to just move on like none of this happened?" and he was like "no I guess not...." so I busted out my checklist of points to cover (yes I physically had the checklist pulled up for this conversation. sue me I had things to say) and each individual grievance are things I've posted about before so I don't need to rehash them all to you. but I will tell you his responses. because it was like 95% me talking I will admit. I led with the big thing I wanted to ask him, which was if he wanted to actually be friends with Me or if he wanted to stay my friend because he was holding onto some hope that I would become a better person that was easier for him to like and get along with. and naturally he didn't actually have an answer to this question. and when I asked if he didn't want to be my friend bc I was mean and it made him uncomfortable or because he wanted to change the way our friend group spent time together, he said that me being mean led to him wanting to change how we spent time together and the group dynamic which like. doesn't make much sense but whatever I didn't push.

I explained that I had resigned myself to no longer being his friend after he never replied to my apology text and that I was okay with that. he seemed like he was hurt by that but who's the one who didn't reply to my text. and that if we never talked again I would have been more upset I never got closure than upset that we weren't friends anymore. so I asked him if he even wanted to continue being my friend and he was like "I don't know..." so I did have to be the one to be like "we're both trying our best to be the best versions of ourselves and this friendship isn't working out, so i don’t really see how this could continue" and he asked me straight up if I wanted to be his friend still and I said no. I was Really proud of myself for getting up the nerve and just saying I didn't want to be his friend anymore. because my biggest fear coming into this is that I would pussy out of doing that. and I didn't!!!!

I brought up that he (and the others) said he cared about me a lot more than he actually showed it and he just didn't have a response to this boooooo👎

he talked about how he wishes we could go back to the good ol days of riverdale nights in the lounge and how that's just not possible with the newfound distance between us (I made a joke after he said distance where i said "yeah x miles haha" and he said "well yeah but i meant more emotional distance" like yeah buddy😐 I know.). and I had to break it to him for the third time so that he could hopefully get it through his thick skull that I was in fact not actually having a good time back in may! I was miserable! I wasn't sleeping or eating and it sucked! and I get those were his good ol days but I hope I got him to realize there never even Were any good ol days for me.

one of my Big Things I brought up that I really liked is I said that whenever I explained this story to people (my best friend my mom and clara (rip) namely), what was going on with him that they always said something to the tune of "when you find your people, it won't be like this" (a lot of people also said they hoped he died but I opted not to tell him that). and that's so true! when I find my people (I have already found some of them) it literally isn't like this! radio friend and my bestie and my mom and sister and all of you and those lifelong friends I mention when we see each other twice a year would never treat me like this!!!!

the things he Did apologize for when I brought them up to him: being dismissive of my sexuality (it was not that thorough of an apology he was like "wow yeah that sucks im sorry" without actually really owning up to it but whatever ig), being condescending (he really can't help it so he just said he was sorry he made me feel condescended to and that was enough for me), accidentally making me feel alienated (I explained to him why I felt that way (bi guy jason not telling me things, them obviously being closer with each other than they were with me, that time they took off in my car for two hours without me) and it deemed like he genuinely felt bad about how alone that made me feel), and he said he was sorry after I explained that I always felt like shit about myself and like such an awful person after we hang out and how I didn't know what I was doing wrong to make them all not like me because I was really trying etc. but he did seem surprised that I picked up on the fact that they didn't like me which leads back to the whole condescension and him thinking I'm stupid thing. like you guys were not fucking subtle.

the things he did Not apologize for when I brought them up: saying he felt like he didn't know much about me but never actually asking about me (I explained how he never asked about me and when I talked about myself he seemed disinterested and he said "I'm not the type of person who makes bullet points when I talk to somebody" like okay fuck you. he also said some bs about how he just prefers to let the conversation flow naturally and how he doesn't like to ask questions. like okay then how are people supposed to know you actually want to talk to them?), being upset with me for never hanging out outside of bachelorette nights when He never asked Me to hang out outside of bachelorette nights (he was just like "yeah I should have reached out and not put that all on you" but he didn't actually say the words "im sorry" or seem to see what was wrong with that so im not counting it👎)

I didn't bring up sarah suitemate that much bc whatever the fuck her and I have going on is simply not his business also it's too complicated for any man let alone one with the brain the size of a pea to understand so I figured why bother. but I did bring up bi guy jason (who bi guy 2 insists never had a crush on me btw. which. if that's true all that worrying myself literally sick was for NOTHING!!!) and I asked if it would be worth it for me to reach out to him to try and get some closure there and he was like "ummm no I don't think that's a good idea. I think he's pretty much already done with you and wants to quietly lay this friendship to rest" like okay. well I'll go fuck myself then. because for the record bi guy jason was always Way worse to me than bi guy 2. so honestly he can kill himself.

it's worth it to note I did a lot of clarifying and apologizing in this conversation to make sure he didn't think I like. hated him or something. and like no matter what I say I really Don't hate him I just think he's a dick and a shitty friend.

I wish I had asked why he was doing so bad he couldn't respond to my text but I forgot and that's all over now.

but yes! the conclusion! as previously stated we kind of agreed to just like. not be friends but be cool with each other. which is the idea end outcome. I just didn't want to have to do any of that awkward pretending I didn't see him while walking on campus bullshit. and I think we're at a point where we can just say hi and appreciate the lols we had while this lasted.

#I did all of this in my little boys camo t shirt with bugs on it and a ten pound tote bag I'm braver than the troops fr #carmen.txt

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auradons-trash-heap · 1 year

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What are your most unpopular opinions on Descendants as a whole?

Idk how popular/unpopular a lot of my opinions are, but here are a few that I think are unpopular haha:

1) I like Mal. Yes even when she’s making bad choices, which she certainly does. I like that she’s a messy protagonist & even tho I prefer a lot of things about her book characterization I also lowkey still like the movie version of her. I know people say Dove was phoning it in especially in D3 but I think she did a really good job in D1 & D2; at the beginning of D2 she did a believable enough portrayal of a stress-based mental breakdown that I’m convinced Dove was drawing from personal experience. When you can see her zoning out every time no one’s talking to her directly bc she’s mentally working through a checklist of everything she needs to do—I’ve been there. Mal was sleep deprived & living on sheer willpower & fear of failure and Dove crushed it in terms of portraying that experience.

I’ll admit that I’m biased bc I am not immune to Dove Cameron in purple hair & studded jackets, I relate to Ben bc I too would abuse my position of power just to make Mal happy oop

2) I like beast!Ben okay I did not like the makeup job but I did like the character design & I think if they were gonna have him do stupid shit like roaring in D2 when overwhelmed/stressed about the fight with Uma or physically shake water off of himself like a dog then we could’ve gotten more than him being beasted by a spell for 2 minutes (even tho the FX makeup did Not hold up well on camera). Also they were cowards for using the magic lake super soaker to mostly break the spell, every single version of Beauty and the Beast that refuses to show a human/beast kiss on screen is made by cowards. This was the only spell in D3 that was broken in this way & they did that specifically bc they were cowards. Mal should’ve broken the spell by kissing him in the first place I don’t care if it’s weird

Given the slightest inclination I would’ve made a beast!Ben au anyway but I only initially started writing down any of it out of spite

3) I don’t love that Mal spelled Ben but I still ship Bal. I support & enjoy other ships with both of the characters (Malvie, Bevie, core four all together, etc) but I am a Bal shipper at heart. And I think Ben proposing with a callback to Did I Mention was really cute okay, yes that’s salt in the wound for Audrey but just on its own it was a really cute & romantic way to propose & I love it

4) Ig the really unpopular thing, going off of the prev one, is this: I don’t think Audrey & Ben were ever actually in love. I think they were friends & them dating was something that Audrey was encouraged to do & Ben went along with, & I think as much as Audrey absolutely was unfairly humiliated in front of her peers she was more upset at losing the crown than Ben. Ben still owed her an apology & an explanation once he broke Mal’s spell; it wasn’t his fault that he embarrassed Audrey while under the influence of a spell but it was pretty cowardly & lame of him not to own up to it right away & instead just use the spell as an easy out from the relationship. But I still don’t think Audrey & Ben were ever in love. As a Bal shipper, I am definitely biased about this.

Also, I’m not opposed to anyone shipping Audrey with Ben! I think it’s cool that all of us can see this same franchise & come away with so many different ideas & opinions

So those are my hot takes lol. Overall I just enjoy Descendants as the beautiful garbage fire it is & I don’t have super strong opinions about ships or anything, I just like playing in the sandbox :)

#i have literally made up so many post-canon batb aus where the MCs have a genetically half beast son #(i do this bc there is something wrong with my brain)#and then descendants just went ahead & gave me the pieces of that for free #so if I seem primarily obsessed with beast!ben bal #that is bc I am #that is…why I am here #ahahaha #descendants #disney descendants #unpopular opinions #thanks for the ask!

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blorbologist · 1 year

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Cat’s Cradle - Chapter 4

Ch 1 … Ch 3

“If I am reading this right, they need to eat every two hours?”

“Just about,” Vex says with no small amount of forced cheer. She throws an arm over the back of Percy’s seat as she puts her Jeep in reverse. “It’s going to be just like a sleepover! We can have snacks between bottle feeding the little babies. Play truth or dare with them.”

Percy hums in acknowledgement, careful not to jostle the basket in his lap.

It had been a no-brainer for them to spend the night at Vex’s apartment - a seven minute drive from the workshop certainly beat a forty minute one to Percy’s in this weather. This would be the last time anyone called him paranoid for keeping spares of everything handy… though usually they were for late nights spent on a project, or when his clothes inevitably got ruined by oil or a small fire.

The Jeep is too old for BlueTooth and its radio gave up the ghost years ago. It’s just them, the kittens, and the sparse Sunday traffic outside. Respite as it may be after the earlier chaos, it leaves Percy with nothing to distract him.

It’s only seven minutes.

He tries not to think.

He’s not particularly good at that.

Vex isn’t, either - though she is a fair deal better at hiding it when it suits her, fixing her gaze on the road. Not perfect, though, perhaps only because he is looking a little more closely than he should. Every bump sends Percy’s heart into his throat. Eventually it stays there.

“Are you sure,” Percy says, “that I am not imposing by staying over?”

She makes an effort not to look at him. “Oh, I really appreciate it, actually,” says Vex. “Zahra’s expecting me for eight tomorrow, and I don’t think I can function on that little sleep. You’re a lifesaver darling - thank you.”

That’s not what he meant and they both know it.

“Of course,” he replies. “Careful about the blind turn, dear.”

Seven minutes is a torturous crawl. It’s also not nearly enough.

Trinket is disgustingly happy to greet them, his nub of a tail drawing his backside into great wiggles.

Percy is quick to raise the basket as high as can be done safely - Trinket is a very big dog, with thick brown fur and a huge, drooly muzzle. The cropped ears are a stark contrast to the soft look of the rest of him, and rarely fail to send a pang through Percy.

Vex laughs when Trinket, sniffing at Percy’s legs, suddenly redoubles his enthusiastic greeting, now barking. Bless her training - any other dog would be jumping, which would be quite the disaster. “Yes, darling, we’ve got friends! You can’t play with them, though, they’re too little. Quiet down, Trinket.”

The jowls close with a pop, big dark eyes imploring Percy to please let him play with the babies.

“No,” Percy says gently.

Trinket whines as he whisks them off to the bathroom.

With the flurry of activity, it’s easy to set aside how Friday night went.

Vex had put off most of her errands to Sunday, given it was her first day off in a week and a half. Once the kittens are settled, Percy offers to watch them and cover the next feeding or two so she can hack at her checklist. He feels guilty that his ordeal ate up her whole morning, and it’s the least he can do.

The alternative, that he does the shopping for her, is off the table: Vex has the whole thing planned to a T to hit the best specials and save the most gas. Percy is, frankly, not sure he could meet her standards.

So most of Percival’s day is kittens.

Bottlefeeding, helping them go to the bathroom, weighing them. Making sure their heatpad is still warm, preparing more formula. And research - as much as he can manage. Everything from things to watch out for to normal growth rates. How to reintroduce kittens to their mother. How to catch a stray cat.

Percy fires off an email to the local SPCA, enquiring first when they can bring the litter in. Second, if they can borrow a trap for Curio.

It’s satisfying to put together a plan of action.

With an old cult classic Scanlan had recommended and takeout, it is almost like a sleepover. Bar the absence of Vax - usually omnipresent at the apartment - or any of their other friends. Without them, ignoring the occasional awkward lapses of silence where before the quiet between them had been smooth is harder. The movie is a poor distraction, once the food is all gone and the kittens are long until their next feed.

There’s a beat, when a dramatic reveal falls flat to this audience of two, where Percy almost brings it up. Or Vex almost does - her eyes are dark things, iced with the light from the television.

Almost is not quite enough when Percy’s phone buzzes decisively.

He thumbs through his passcode to find the new email. Hums.

“Percy?” Vex says, leaning closer.

“We can drop by with the litter at our earliest convenience,” he explains, tilting the screen her way. “But they note that there might not be a foster available for them - that all those experienced with neonates already have their hands full.”

Vex sighs, head dropping onto her knee. “Of course.”

“Should we expect the worst?” He taps out the beginnings of a reply - they also agree to let them make use of a humane trap or two.

“I can’t foster kittens right now, Percy.” She sounds so weary - he nudges his shoulder into her’s without thought. Almost as easily she nudges back. Doesn’t pull back. “The end of the next quarter is in two weeks - it’s been late nights for the last three, too. I’ll be lucky to have time for lunch.”

“And the nonprofit,” Percy offers gently, “will also crash and burn without your championship.”

Vex snorts. “Mm-hm. That rich asshole - richer than you, darling - keeps hounding for proof the area needs to be protected. So we’re still canvassing for the endangered species they found a few years back, because apparently it needs to reflect the ‘actual status of the woodland’.” She helpfully provides the airquotes.

Her hands falter somewhat. “And - well. Vax isn’t here. Or he could help.”

Percy nods, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. The movie goes viciously dark - good gods has the cinematography been terrible - and she does too, shrinking in on herself.

“Don’t worry, dear. We can figure it out later,” Percy murmurs. The yawn that takes him makes his jaw creak. “Tomorrow.”

“Later,” Vex echoes. She mirrors his yawn, too, though she stands with it. “I’ll - I’m heading to bed. Goodnight, Percy.”

Ah. ”Night, Vex.” He does not protest - he’s due to start warming a bottle soon, anyways.

(They’re not very good at talking about things later.)

#critical role #cat's cradle au #critical role fic #critical role fanfiction #percahlia #perc'ahlia #percival de rolo #cr percy #percy de rolo #cr vex #vex'ahlia #my writing

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sapphire-weapon · 3 months

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Okay, so apologies! I am a new fan in a way, I have been playing all the games of Resident Evil or trying at least. I have played through Resident Evil 1 Remake, and currently, I'm in Resident Evil 5. I don't understand why people are so forced to believe the things are the same. Like Ada in the original obviously sells plagas despite Ada Remake obviously has a bit of guilt. And I understand the frustration of Resident Evil 6, especially when the movies are suppose to clarify their story. (Like Damnation is suppose to explain they have met around and why Resident Evil 6 is its sequel for Aeon)

This timeline is stupidly messy. Especially with its useless moments. This world needed a remake, but people are just blinded, still believing everything is the same. Like, people don't care about these characters or their stories. They do realize their characters look like dicks if they continued their old ways. And I don't get why Resident Evil 4 was Leon's, I'm guessing because he was the pretty boy.

It's just pathetic that we don't see Wesker until 5 and we have to play Veronica and revelations to see Wesker. And he fucking dies in 5.

Anyways, I love Chris and Sheva. I'm excited to play 6 to see that mess and see why fans either love or hate this game.

so i'm not sure what you mean by this:

They do realize their characters look like dicks if they continued their old ways. And I don't get why Resident Evil 4 was Leon's, I'm guessing because he was the pretty boy.

and wesker was in 4, so i'm also not sure what you mean by saying "we don't see Wesker until 5."

but as far as the first part is concerned...

me and @godtier had a really long conversation about this a few days ago. on top of the checklist mentality that old fans went into the remakes with, RE2 remake in particular was written how fans remembered the game, and not how the game actually was.

what i mean is.

in OG RE2, leon is kind of a fucking dick. he's an asshole cop with an ego who tries to throw his weight around and then whines when no one follows his authority. but that's not how the fandom remembers him in that game. fandom remembers him as being a naive optimistic Good Boy uwu who gets screwed over big time and doesn't deserve it. so that's how the remake was written.

in OG RE2, ada's actually kind of soft and well-mannered, and the affection that she shows for leon is genuine. but that's not how fandom remembers her in that game. fandom remembers her as being That Spy Bitch Who Manipulated Leon. so that's how the remake was written.

in OG RE2, claire is a nice girl with an exceptional amount of patience who tries to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. but that's not how fandom remembers her in that game. fandom remembers her as A Redfield(TM) with a short temper who doesn't take any shit. so that's how the remake was written.

so when you have the game being written in a way that matches up with people's (false) memories in addition to the checklist mentality that fans went into the game with, yeah, you get people going "this is exactly how it was in OG."

what blows my mind is that new fans buy into this, too, when they're the ones who should be listening to the bullshit old fans are saying and going "but that's not true."

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takerfoxx · 6 months

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Even though exactly nobody follows me for my opinions about Gridman, this is still a fan blog, and I've technically been a Gridman fan since I was a little kid, even if only through Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad basically being my Power Rangers, because I wasn't allowed to watch Power Rangers (growing up in a conservative Christian household in the 90's was fucking weird, man). Still have the toys, in fact.

So anyway, given my nostalgic fondness for Gridman, of course I was all about the anime reboot. I loved SSSS Gridman, thought it was great. And while Dynazenon wasn't quite as good (felt the climax fell a little flat), it was still really good, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.

And now I finally got around to watching the crossover movie that serves as the franchise's grand finale, and...huh.

Well, let me put it this way. My reactions went about as such.

Man, it's been a while since I've watched this. Gotta recall everyone's names and what happened at the end.

Okay, this multiverse shit is admittedly kind of lame, and there's a lot of really out there coincidences, but it's still fun to see the two casts of characters hanging out and interacting. Feel sorry for both team's b-tier members, though. They get like maybe one or two lines apiece. Also, dafuq is up with Gauma's princess just showing up the hell out of nowhere! You'd think that'd be a bigger deal!

This play script is totally a meta-commentary on the writers' own frustrations in making this movie, isn't it?

Kaiju fights are still hype, though!

Wait, hold on. They're not actually...

They boomed me! They actually boomed me! They pulled a Rebellion Story and got me! Oh, this is good! Hell yeah, turn up the weird, I wanna see how this-

Well. This may be the stupidest climax that I've ever seen.

Eh, things ended on a nice note, I guess.

So, basically this movie's biggest problem is its villain. Like, we find out the reason for the different digital worlds colliding is because Gridman himself became corrupted and all the worlds that he created are merging. Okay, that's cool! I like that!

Except we find out that Gridman was actually corrupted by an outside force, who turns out to be this super-kaiju...whom we literally never heard anything about until the final fight starts and he just shows up and starts ranting in cliched super-villain monologues! Like, serious! Who even was this guy? Why is this franchise's final, final battle where all the characters team up and we have like a gazillion different new combinations and super-weapons against this fucking Dragonzord-looking motherfucker that we've never even heard of until the punching started and we get no exposition about until literally the climax of the movie? Why would we even care about this guy?

Seriously, if you needed a final boss, Alexis is literally right there! Just have this be part of his master plan! Or, hell, if you wanted to go meta with it, make it be Khan Digifer, the OG villain from the original show! Or commit and make it Gridman himself! Make the final fight be a "I know you're in there!" fight to redeem a hero corrupted by his own guilt and self-loathing!

And while it was fun seeing Akane again, the way they brought her back was pretty sloppy. I know it's Trigger and Trigger is ridiculous, but it usually feels like there's a method to the madness.

I mean, I still enjoyed a lot of it. The two teams interacting was fun, even if Yomogi did get relegated to sidekick. Sorry buddy, protagonist no longer. And poor Yume and Koyomi were...there, I guess? I mean, even Chise felt like she had more to do. Same with the NG high-schoolers. I guess they had lines. And it did feel like they were running down a checklist of everything they needed to cram in, like Yomogi and Gauma's reunion, the two protags having a heart to heart, etc. But I still liked it.

So, not upset that I watched it, but the final act left a lot to be desired.

#ssss gridman #ssss.dynazenon #gridman universe #gridman spoilers

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qqueenofhades · 2 years

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Do you have tips for picking out a college for an undergraduate? I know a lot of it comes down to personal preference, but what are some red flags for schools?

Welp. My Oh God I Am So Old, Do I Even Remember Looking At Undergrad Colleges, That Was Half My Life Ago list of recommendations/advice would go like this:

Cost and location (obviously). Do you want to go to school close to home, or somewhere far away? Are there issues as to how you would get back and forth between home and campus (i.e. is it out in the country and how the hell would you get there from the nearest airport, assuming you didn't have access to a car?) How much is annual tuition, how much financial aid does the school offer to a typical incoming student, and how much is grant-based (which you don't have to pay back) vs. loan-based (which you do?) How much financial debt/obligation do you want to take on just for one degree? Fancy schools are all well and good (and I myself went to like, the most expensive one in the entire country, so good thing I got a lot of aid?) but they come with equally fancy price tags. Are you planning to/will you need to work in order to make ends meet? Are your parents pitching in to help with costs? Where else can you find income to cover your day-to-day needs?

Strength in your chosen field (again, obviously). Is there a reason you want to go to this college, and not another one? Is there a faculty member you admire or a department/institute that you would like to join? It's okay if you don't know what you want to major in yet, as a lot of kids don't and/or change their minds, but if you can explain what exactly draws you to a certain school, it will help with clearly articulating yourself in admissions essays, interviews, and any other hoops you need to jump through.

Academic expectations/workload. Is it the kind of school where everyone is expected to get A's all the time, or more easy-going? Do you have a preference about what kind of results will be expected from you? Also, worth checking out the expected courseload/assessment style/exam requirements/etc, so you know what your academic commitment will look like once you're there. Are support services or skills centers available for students, if you need a little extra help in adjusting? Do they actually do their job?

Campus culture and student life. Is there some kind of lurking scandal or other issue in the school's past, is it still ongoing, etc etc? A college's Wikipedia page is usually pretty good at listing past controversies, lawsuits, and anything else that might impact on your experience and/or what you should expect if you went there. Likewise, what are you planning for social/extracurricular activities? Do you want to join a frat/sorority, play on a sports team, join an art club, so on and so forth? Most universities will have listings of all their various associations and organizations, so think about what kind of social life you would like to have/join.

Study abroad (optional). If you're thinking about spending a junior or senior year overseas, or on an exchange with a partner institution, is that available at your prospective school?

Health care/political environment/abortion access. If, God forbid, you or a friend found themselves in an emergency situation, how easy would it be to get care? Would you have to leave the state or otherwise go somewhere far away? (I absolutely hate that I have to type these words in the year 2022, but fuck you, SCOTUS!) So if your absolute dream school is located in a state that is about to or already has totally banned access to abortion, would that be an issue for you? Do you want to go to school in a liberal area, and what would the town/surrounding area be like?

And finally, do you just like it? Obviously, there are plenty of sensible considerations/checklists to look at, such as the above. But if you just really like the vibe, the campus, the people, and see yourself at home there, it's all right to listen to that instinct, as long as you can make the other stuff work. It can be as simple as "I really like this school and I want to go here," so yeah.

Good luck!

#blackholes-are-fun #ask #school stuff

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thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild · 1 year

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Surviving College: The First Semester

Now that I'm finally back home for the rest of the month and my very first semester of college is over, I thought I'd share some valuable advice on how I survived being away from home for an extended period of time, managing all my school, events, and appointments myself, and in general how I made it through my first semester with pretty okay grades (All A's for now, and unless my profs hate me I think those are final) an actual sleep schedule, and a thriving social life (not really, but I definitely have more friends than last year who I adore).

If you have the option to meet each other beforehand or pick your roommate, do it. Some colleges (including mine) had a roommate matching service. It may seem stupid but do it. It makes things so much easier if you know who you're dealing with before you even move in.

Going off of number one, try and make friends with them. College is scary, and you're gonna want to start to meet people from the day you move in. Your roommates are perfect places to start. Yes, some people do have terrible or just neutral experiences with roommates, but try your very best to befriend whoever you're rooming with. I know that my roommates definitely helped me to feel more like I was living with a family rather than just by myself in a different state. They were the first people that supported me and listened to me. I celebrated victories and went through hard times with them. We were all there to support each other throughout the semester and it helped a lot.

Keep the dorm (or your side of the dorm) clean. It's so hard to get anything done in a messy space, especially when it's small. You're going to get busy during the semester, but if you don't set aside time every week to clean up at least a little bit, things are going to get messy real fast. Here's a checklist of things I kept that helped me feel like my space wasn't as filthy:

Make your bed EVERY DAY. (Even if you're bed is lofted, it makes a huge difference and takes probably five minutes max)

Have a laundry bag to keep dirty clothes in and just throw your outfit from the day in there. Keeps dirty clothes off the gross floor and out of sight

Laundry needs to be done every week. Check to see what day is the least busy wherever you do your laundry and dedicate an afternoon to sit up there and study while it's going. Often times the best times to do this is on a weekday morning. If you don't have a class one day of the week in the mornings or early afternoon, do it then. It's not fun, but having clean clothes is a must and if you do it then, laundry doesn't eat up your weekend.

Fridge (if you have one) is cleaned out every week.

Bathroom (if you have a private or shared bathroom that you're responsible for) is cleaned weekly. Even if you just spray stuff down with some bathroom cleaner and wipe it down. Germs spread in dorms and the bathrooms are breeding grounds for the frat flu.

Clean your sheets every other week at least. Please. Just do it.

Vacuum the goddamn floor every once in a while. The carpets already crusty enough.

If you have dishes, clean them. If you don't there's a risk of mice coming to clean them for you.

Wipe down your desk and tech items if they look gross.

Make sure you're clean as possible. Take showers, wash your face, and keep up with personal hygiene. It's good manners.

Attend class. Don't skip unless you're sick or really can't make it. Attendance is a major part of your grade for most intro classes, and even though most of the time, yes you could catch up on your own, most of having good grades your first semester is showing up. Just do it.

Going off of that, if you're not feeling well, even a little bit, stay home. Please don't be that person that's coughing up a storm in a 100 person lecture hall. Especially after a global pandemic, be courteous of others and allow yourself to rest. You need it. The more you rest and take care of yourself, the faster you're gonna get better.

If you don't want to get sick, don't go to huge parties. Yes, this does suck. Yes, there is gonna be some FOMO. It's not worth it though when people are all partying and passing around sickness like candy. Small get togethers are usually ok, but stay away from larger frat parties if you can.

Also, it's ok to drink, but don't get so drunk you get hungover. Seriously, it's gonna mess with you later.

If number one and number two sound prude and boring, remember that unless you're getting your tuition payed out of daddy's pockets, you're the one paying for a degree. In college, time is money. The longer you're out sick with the frat flu or hung over, the more fun things and school time you miss.

While C's do get degrees, graduation comes up fast. It's gonna feel way better if when it does come you can graduate cum laude or summa cum laude. What you put into academics and mostly taking care of yourself so that you can take care of your academics is what you'll get out of it.

Join three different clubs: One for social development, one that keeps you active, and one that can supplement either a personal interest or academic interest. (Ex I joined fencing club (harder and more intense than it looks) a sorority for social and professional growth, and am currently serving as a board member for undergraduate anthropology association)

This may seem so backwards to some of the advice I'm giving, but join greek life. Depending on where you go there's options to join an academic frat or sorority or a social one. While yes there are parties, most of the stuff I've experienced with my sorority are social events, community service, and professional development. I've also made a ton of close friends, and met upperclassmen I know I can trust.

Going off of that make friends with a trustworthy upperclassmen. These are gonna be your teammates in your intramural sports club, older board members for your clubs, your big brother/sister in your greek org, your CA/RA and in general an upperclassmen who's your friend who you know is trustworthy and responsible. People make college seem like you have to do everything on your own and you're completely in charge of yourself, but you need to have an older friend who's still close enough in age for you to be able to have someone older to talk to and give you advice. You're not always going to want to call your parents and explain to them you're in a sticky situation or you're lonely or you feel sick of school. These people are gonna be your first responders when things pop up, especially if you're on the other side of the country and you can't get home or your parents can't get to you.

Have an ADULT (like a home-owning, job-having REAL adult) you can trust that you know is in the area or can reasonably pick you up if something happens. Before I moved me and my mom set up arrangements with one of her friends that lives an hour away from my school just in case. While I don't mean to scare anyone, sometimes things do happen on a college campus. If something were to happen, I have a contact and a place I could stay if things were to get bad.

Back to less scary tips dining hall food sucks. It just does. Even though it sucks, it's way better on you and your wallet than eating out all the time.

If you're going to spend money anywhere, have it be at your local coffee shop. Shitty coffee from the dining hall isn't going to cut it when you have four classes, an advising appointment, an essay to write, and fencing practice all in the same day.

While on the subject of caffeine, try not to down energy drinks. If you really need more caffeine, do coffee or a black tea instead.

Get a water boiler kettle. Mine has saved me and my roomies many a time.

If your campus is an open campus, there's gonna be weird people that show up. The most important thing is to not engage or you could get roped into having your cheek swabbed to see if you're compatible for organ donation for cancer research. Point in question, do not approach or engage unless you personally know the organization/person.

If you're bored with the dining hall food near you and you have the option, go to a different dining hall. They usually have different stuff.

It's ok to cry. You're going to cry at one point. College is hard. Let it out.

It's also ok to come home for a bit. If you have the chance, go home.

Fall break and Midwinter break are for breaks. Do not plan anything and try to get stuff done before then.

This is getting too long. Part two soon maybe?

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sweaterkittensahoy · 1 year

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Even more former friend shit

I found a lovely perfume while out and about on Sunday, and I've been wearing it every day since. The former friend has severe scent issues, and so I just...stopped wearing perfume entirely. It wasn't even that I wore it a LOT. But I stopped wearing it except very occasionally to go out to dinner with Sean when I was certain we would not see the former friend at all because I was so wrapped up in taking care of THEM that I couldn't fathom just, you know, WASHING IT OFF IF THEY SHOWED UP.

See also: I did not make a hilariously creepy pillow with a plastic baby doll face in the center because the former friend said, "No, I veto that in your house," and my manipulated brain went, "Well, okay, then!" Rather than going, "Well, I'll put it in another room when you visit."

I remember explaining to them at one point that I get peopled out. Like, it's been a long week of people, so I can no longer people, and so I need to cancel our plans because you are a people.

And at some point they came back and basically said, "But I'm not a people; I'm [name]," and what I should have said was, "I love you, but no. I get to decide who counts as a 'people.'" And what happened instead was that I felt guilty I made my friend feel unimportant, and so I routinely pushed beyond boundaries I needed because I didn't want them to feel bad. Just like I was forced to do over and over by a lot of people in my life before the former friend. Just like the former friend knew because I told them everything.

Did I feel good after spending time with them? Most of the time, yeah. They can be very charming and engaging and fun; we were friends for a reason. But did it really recharge me? I don't know. I don't think so. I look back over the last few years and how routinely mentally exhausted I have been, and I think, no, I was not actually recharged. I was manipulated into caretaking disguised as a friendship, and I was fucking exhausted.

And speaking of absolutely obliterated boundaries, three more things have happened in all this mess:

Former friend texted Sean saying, "I don't want to interfere, but I found this cookbook for MCAS." Sean, who is not the angry person in this relationship, was LIVID. Not just because the text violated our very clearly stated boundaries of contact but because it was so clearly an effort to get Sean to talk to them and get some sort of hook in so that I might talk to them. Which. Fuck you into the sun.

This text came after they texted Sean thanking them for "keeping the storage unit open so long." Fuck you into the sun again. It wasn't for your benefit. It was our circumstances of cleaning up your fucking mess while trying to get through a series of personal shit on our end. To then send the text about the cookbook is especially insulting in all of this because it's so clearly a "I did everything on the checklist, so now we're cool right?" sort of thing. Like, no, I said don't make contact. Going through Sean is still making contact.

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I got a new library card. I logged into Hoopla for the first time in a very long time and discovered that the former friend had used my account to-reread all of Sandman. After I'd cut ties. AFTER. I'D. CUT. TIES. And I know this because I can see the return date, and it's all 21-day check outs, and the math put the books checked out in August. And they weren't checked out all in one day, either. The former friend made SEVERAL decisions to continue to use my library account against my express wishes because it was more important to them to have access to re-read something than it was to show me even the smallest amount of respect.

#former friend #abuse #manipulation #abuse recovery #emotional abuse #the use of my library card is sticking hard in my craw #because that's one of the earliest moments i can say this all started #ugh

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the-hoarse-bard · 2 years

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The northern passage was, well, north of my home. There was a small grave outside the entrance to the tunnel. The marker didn't give a name, but I tipped my hat to whoever was buried there as I went into the mouth of the tunnel.

A small group of six were in the cave, four guards checking over their gear, a cheery-looking man in overalls whose voice I recognized from the advert on the radio, and a very shifty looking guy in a vault suit with a pip-boy on his wrist leaning against one of the tunnel supports. Jed would probably be the best place to start.

Jed's voice had a lot more timbre not being heard through the tinny pip-boy speaker. He greeted me warmly, and took my hand, "Howdy, friend. Heard my broadcast, did you?" He glanced down at my pip-boy, "Yeah, you look the type," He released my hand, and I tipped my hat to him, "Yep. I'm a courier by trade, but business has been slow lately, so I figured I'd sign on for this expedition." Jed stuck his hands in his pockets, "Well, I'd hate to disappoint you, but as long as Ricky over there is around," he pointed to the high-strung young man in the vault suit, "I don't think we'll need you. Tell ya what though, if you can get Ricky to chicken out, we'll have you on board. I'll be honest, I like the look of him a lot less than you."

Jed went back to walking over his checklist with the guards, and I turned my attention to Ricky. He was tapping his foot on the stone tunnel floor, and drumming a tense tune on his arm, looking almost like he was ready to snap right in half at the drop of a pin. I walked up to him calmly, "So, I hear your name's Ricky?" He looked up at me, his bloodshot eyes darting toward me from behind the cop shades on his face, "Hm? Yeah, yeah that's me. You looking for trouble, bud? Cuz I got plenty to spare." He gave me a smile, I could see he was missing a canine on the left side of his mouth.

I shrugged, "Well, this trip only needs one pip-boy, so it looks like we're competing for the spot," Ricky's smile fell from his face, "Yeah? Well, I'm one of a kind, see? I've been places and done things, lot's of 'em!" I stayed quiet, I could tell he was readying some bullshit story as we spoke, "Anything makes the mistake of pissing off Ricky, I'll deadeye him, her or it. In fact, that's my nickname, yeah! 'Deadeye' Ricky." I crossed my arms, "Uhuh, yeah, sure," He continued, "Why, uh, once, I got jumped by three.... Deathjaws! Except, actually, it was four of them! Imagine that!" I raised an eyebrow, "'Deathjaws' huh? You sure you don't mean deathclaws?" His eye twitched a little, but he doubled down, "Nope, you heard me right, deathjaws! They're like deathclaws, but with bigger teeth!"

Ricky didn't even pause for a breath, "Or, there was the time one of them Steel Brotherhood assholes made the mistake of messing with me! Last mistake he ever made!" I shoved my hands into my pockets, "'Steel Brotherhood'.... Do you mean Brotherhood of Steel?" His eyes avoided mine as he thought of a retort, "Uh, well... What's it sound like I'm saying? If I was saying what you said I was saying, then yeah, I said it!" He was cracking, "I was walking right along, and up pops one of them Brotherhoods. He yells, 'hand over that laser rifle, asshole!' and I do, just to make him think I'm scared. But I'm not, because I never am. I draw my 11mm machinegun and BAM! BAM! Right through his eyeslit! D.O.A," I leaned forward, "Too bad there's no such thing as an 11mm machinegun." Ricky gulped and stammered, "Uh, there is so! Or was it 9 or a 10, I don't know! I don't care! Said I was good at killin' shit, not good with numbers!"

I stood back up straight to get away from Ricky's breath. I could see that he had a bad case of cottonmouth, too, "So where ya from, Ricky?" He relaxed a little at me backing off, "Well, I grew up near Dayglow out west, so yeah, I grew a third nut that glows in the dark!" I looked him up and down, "Then where'd you get the pip-boy and the vault suit? There's no vault in Dayglow," The sweat returned to his face, "N-Nice job, eagle eye! Yeah, I got a pit-boy," I corrected him, "Pip-boy," He swallowed, "Yeah, that, pip-boy! And a vault suit, too! What of it?"

I looked Ricky dead in the eye, "So where'd you get them?" He scoffed, "Vault two-two, where you think? It's where I grew up!" I raised an eyebrow again, "So where's that?" He shifted his eyes left and right, "I-I can't tell you that, I am sworn to secrecy, or something like that... To the people I left behind!" He smiled, sure he was safe. I called his bluff, "You're lying. You have no idea where it is." He stopped smiling and he tried to say something before sighing and giving up, "Y-yeah, you caught me. I may have been exaggerating a little. Truth is, I got this here pit-boy and vault suit off a dead prospector who came out of Zion. Guy was dead when I found him, okay? Had a ton of shit on him, that's how I know there's good loot in Zion!"

I looked down at Ricky's pip-boy, and noticed something, "Hey Ricky... You know how that thing works right?" I pointed to the pip-boy, and he said, "Y-yeah, it makes me more badass! Jed says it has maps and shit, that's why I'm here!" I looked him in the eye, "Well, then you should know it's not working. The screen's locked up and the reboot button is missing," He got angry at that and yelled, "Bullshit! Ain't nothing wrong with my pit-boy, I mean pip-boy!" Jed looked over at us concerned, Ricky pulled me into a huddle, looking nervous, "Look, this gig is sweet for me! Don't go blowing it for me. What do you want anyway?" I smirked, "What I want is for you to scram, Ricky. This expedition doesn't need you." He stood up, and yelled again, "Fine! You win, asshole! Have fun leading the expedition into an ambush! I hope you all die!" Ricky scampered out of the cave, everyone staring at him.

Jed walked over to me, laughing, "Haha, good work son, the job's all yours now! It was fun getting to watch Ricky squirm, too. So, the pay is 25 caps per day, half up front, half on return. It's gonna be dangerous, Utah's full of regional warlords and gangs like the 80's. Not a lot of safe places to stop and rest, and we're imposing a weight limit. We'll be going through some box canyons, and we don't want anyone getting stuck." I nodded, "Don't worry about me, Jed. I've hauled myself across the whole Mojave. I can handle it." He smiled, "Well, your gear all looks in order, let's get going then. I'll fill you in on the situation in New Canaan along the way." The guards finished up their equipment checks, and we all headed out the east end of the tunnel. Toward Zion.

#story post #Will #New Vegas #Honest Hearts #northern passage

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coachnephew08 · 2 years

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Not known Details About Non

There’s nothing like an surge of blockchain updates to leave behind you assuming, “Um… what’s going on listed below?” That’s the feeling I’ve experienced while reading concerning Grimes getting millions of dollars for NFTs or about Nyan Cat being marketed as one.‮ No we perform not! Also Found Here of evidence that doesn't exist in the sector, but we have it.‮ This was an chance when the world went crazy. In the year since NFTs burst in level of popularity, the situation has merely acquired even more complicated. In the previous week, the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that a California regulation disallowing the usage of drones is unconstitutional and voiding an earlier lawful obstacle to the exact same. But there's still one more legislation that seems to be most likely, a policy that could transform simply how usually things receive complex. That regulation, contacted the No Fly Checklist, has already been hit down by the courts in five conditions. Pictures of apes have sold for tens of millions of dollars, there’s been an countless source of headings about million-dollar hacks of NFT ventures, and business money grabs have only received worse. When speaking regarding how to protect our youngsters, a new law was presented through Governor Greg Abbott on February 26, and it appears that the condition has actually a good package of job to perform in order to make certain their kids possess get access to to modern-day medicine. All this news might have left behind you pondering: what is an NFT, in any case? Well, it's kind of an appealing question, and one that has drawn an interesting feedback on the Net. You may even happen across it somewhere in your time writing about it -- inspect it out at your updates web site. In this post, I've put all together a listing of the five very most well-known means to make an NCFT and how they operate.

youtube

After a great number of hours of investigation and dialogues (the majority of of which were against my will), I think I understand. But now that I obtain to what is taken into consideration the "brand-new" science, I have my personal analysis on how these lookings for are intended to function. I think a lot of of us at science information sites know that the results of our experiments might have profound effects for mankind. It isn't merely the experts that get pissed. It's experts all over the area all over the area. I also presume I’m going to burst into tears. I understand that I get to sob along with her as properly. I'm probably going to shriek even more and wail additional at them all.". The former Spurs onward and current Spurs colleague stated he did not know she would shed tears but she was so ecstatic regarding Saturday's video game versus the San Antonio Spurs. "I wish she would sob also, also," Simmons claimed after scoring a game-high 24 points in the Spurs' loss. Okay, permit’s start with the fundamentals. When chatting about how to participate in a single-player survival shooter, you should offer some circumstance on how these characters all behave. In the scenario of my characters, I'm going to suppose they're trying to survive through themselves and that I'll take care of the goal through doing merely that. When talking about how to participate in a single-player survival shooting, you should provide some situation on how these personalities all act. That doesn’t make it any clearer. It's like folks desire to understand how significant their palms are.". In case you didn't maintain keep track of, the large number of American pupils lug their palms outside the classroom to take the initial steps of college, but trainees here are no complete stranger to the practice. Pupils coming from around the nation who are presently in the method of going to class mention they're a major component of the university's brand-new management. “Non-fungible” more or much less suggests that it’s distinct and can’t be substituted with something else. It's like how lots of manuals you may switch out a certain label along with or give your partner a certificate to maintain? Or how numerous bookstores can you find and how lots of restaurants can you locate along with the enhancement of a brand new label? ?““Non-fungible” has all the attribute in the label. For example, a bitcoin is fungible — trade one for one more bitcoin, and you’ll have precisely the exact same trait. This has actually to be a solid, sturdy proof-of-concept plan, because if this method had been implemented at a singular opportunity there would be incredibly little threat of fraud or reduction of social funds. I presume anyone presuming of carrying out this could possibly possess no self-confidence in any sort of Bitcoin programmer or any kind of various other exclusive bitcoin developer; that has actually to be established by the area. A one-of-a-kind exchanging memory card, nonetheless, is non-fungible . It will take area in different components of the game's world along with the goal of supplying what it aims to provide, as properly as in the type of reward cards. What do I understand about it? Well, you just need to have a bit of practice. While the card are going to deliver one additional action relying on what is required per game, it additionally has actually the capacity to be your favored trading memory card. If you traded it for a different card, you’d have something totally different. It's like losing loan because you were a negative gamer (although you might have played really good). It's a lot much easier to deal with you if you participate in negative players. This suggests you have to spend the best rate you can have before you lose amount of money. Of course, you can easily only fail to remember all that and relocate the memory card. It's likewise worth advising that the expense of this memory card is 100 gold. You gave up a Squirtle, and obtained a 1909 T206 Honus Wagner, which StadiumTalk gets in touch with “the Mona Lisa of baseball memory cards.” (I’ll take their term for it.). “The activity ended up being the very most famous of the summer months, along with the whole group functioning for the ball in almost one-half of it. “After our video game, I said to my wife, 'I received your cash. '‵ “And that was the end of it.

#nft #best nft projects #nft crytpo #quantum ape club

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jaderimehardt · 2 months

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So, Cali is in the middle of another storm, yay me~ 🙃. Tomorrow I get to go out in it because I have appts and errands. We're in the middle of a flood watch with wind advisory and potential power outages atm. Nothing new, I guess? 😅

Yesterday I had my bedroom window open listening to the deluge of rain, because I actually love the rain. For the longest time, Cali was in a draught and I wished for nothing more than rain. I can't help but feel that phrase "be careful what you wish for" is coming back to haunt me.

I'm sure it'll be okay. It's global warming, surely. Everything's out of whack. Just gotta hang in there until the next season's crazy weather, and then the next, and the next.

I've also been watching lots more vids on Youtube (to no one's surprise), but from all the things I like; ranging from culinary, to Myer Briggs, to art, to science, to resin... man I miss working on resin.

I keep checking the weather forecast and I need 70+ degree weather to come back (to work on resin) but I also really don't want warm weather back, lol 🫠. So conflicted.

And then I remember I still have a ton of things I can work on with graphics- on the computer and on mediums. I just seem to mentally skip over that. It's like I need a huge checklist or sign right in front of my face. Even if I'm watching vids most of the day, when I get free time to actually sit and do something- I give that time to something else- I prioritize something else. I don't know what it is. Or why that is.

When I work on resin, I'll literally wake up in the morning, go out into the garage first thing, won't come back inside until it's like 1am or 2am. I'm out there all. day. long.

It's like an escape.

I think there's a disconnect with other things when I compare it to that. Because when I find an attachment to projects, I don't pry away. It's almost impossible to pry me away.

🤔

Another thing I've been doing lately is watching movies in the evening. Some new, some old. But I'll put them on with a sketch book in front of me, and doodle.

For the record, doodling is different from working on an actual project (for me at least).

Y'know, two weeks ago, I had never seen any of the DC-verse movies made by Zack Snyder. Today I can say I've seen them all, lol. I've grown especially fond of his Batman, Superman, and Aquaman ��. (I like the Green Lantern too but I can't tell if he's part of his DC-verse or not? Like... he should be but... ??? 🤷🏻‍♀️. And I like Doctor Fate but... 🤐)

I've always grown up a big Batman fangirl so it was interesting to see another new take on Batman. I like this version a lot- my favorite tbh. But to each their own. I know people cling to their nostalgia, faves and biases.

I replay a lot of the marvel movies too because I also love the marvel-verse. But I'm also the type that replays a lot of Disney movies and anime 🙃

The next Aquaman should be available to watch on Amazon Prime and Max next month. I've yet to see that and I want to~

I'm also still trying to figure out what graphic to make for that puzzle. Thinking some kind of scenery with focus on ~something~. I might actually pull some places from a book I once was writing back in college (that I never finished). It might be time to revisit that.

My skills in drawing scenery though... 🫠. Yeah, this will be a fun challenge /sarcasm. Let's just reference all the trees and foliage necessary to get this task done 😶

Because, I mean, it's still all here in my head. I just never followed through with writing the whole thing.

I was like 170 pages in at 8pt font or some nonsense, and not even halfway done with the book. That's why I stopped, lol. It would have had to be chopped up into multiple books with multiple "climatic" endings 🤷🏻‍♀️. It put me in a position of "I dunno what the heck to do" and we see how well that went 🙃

That turned into "I'll come back to it later" and "later" turned into months, months into years, and years into indefinitely, and indefinitely to..... I think about it occasionally. It's in a folder in my bookcase where the last time I looked at it was years ago.

I still use my OCs in a lot of things though.

And if anyone is curious why my blog posts tend to lean more on the ramble-y side:

youtube

This is one of the handful of vids I watched today. When watching it, it was kind of like a lightbulb 💡; I was like "Oh! This explains a lot."

He has good Myer Briggs vids /nods (I'm an INFJ -t)

Edit: Oh, my god. Let me edit in this tweet I just found on Twitter.

It's a visual chart for pencils and this is awesome.

Marcel aka Draw Like a Sir, on Youtube, has a video that I'm pretty sure I've linked in a previous post- about how the B pencils are not easy to erase, but they're great if you're "coloring" or "filling" with them. Use the others for sketching, as they erase better. Always remember to sketch lightly, so your eraser will have an easier time to erase.

I think the vid was called "5 worst mistakes" or something 🤔

#jade.blog #Youtube

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