#BUT LIKE WHATEVER I DONT NEED THAT ON THE MIND RN

[pup-pee]

queues this & runs

((i totally stole some of the piercings from madi hi madi ty))

:3

#i rlly gotta draw backgrounds not every character can b floating in link sauce #im still terrified of other kon fans tbh #BUT LIKE WHATEVER I DONT NEED THAT ON THE MIND RN #anywho im queueing this #i have no idea when its gonna post im just going 2 push some buttons n pray #no1 reads my tags but the keychains r coming >:3 #oktime 2 get my 3rd cup of mac n cheese ramen #kon el #superboy #kon el kent #conner kent #dc #puppee art #trying 2 b confident in my kon design b4 i start making fanart fanart yk? #kshfjkshkg #IM WORKING ON IT ITS JUST UH yeah

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

got three asks asking for laughingstock in a row, im putting the doodles i have On A Shelf <3

#the spite in me has Activated. so yall can Wait! #we get there when we get there and not a second before #i will say that i dont enjoy being Pressured or Pushed #im a person <3 not a content machine <3 #and anyway im in a motivation slump rn! let me rest! #absolutely unprompted #its come to my attention that i need to be a little firmer with boundaries and such #so. im drawing a line in the sand of this Beach! (blog). (bog) #(do bogs have sand?) #im drawing a line in the Moss! #if i havent posted or drawn a certain thing in a while <3 #Please don't come into my inbox like 'where's this / why havent you posted / draw more' etc etc <3 #like mmmm thats one way to make me actively want to Not! #i draw what i want when i like. art is my hobby #& i have a very active spite drive! Unfortunately! #so Yes. the laughingstock machine is broken rn. i took a hammer to it #ill fix it when i feel like it #like ofc if youre genuinely like. concerned or whatever cause its been quiet. I Don't Mind! #but when its put in a way where its like. yk clearly Pushing for a certain thing i draw or whatever #its like yeah ok. Hush. #us artists are People please keep that in mind #if you miss a certain thing make your own or continue to enjoy what's already there! Slow Down!

[sonknuxadow]

ignore razor and blade in the background this isnt about them . anyway . Looks around all scared. thoughts on him ^

#if anyone is actually wondering why they are there though they were just serving as references for what a sonic style shark might look like #and i was too lazy to get rid of them #ive been wanting to make a shark sonic oc for forever . well i finally made an attempt at it #just in the 'messing around and throwing shit on the canvas to see what works'' stage rn though . dont know how much he will change #i feel like he looks a bit plain. needs more markings or accessories or something #but im also trying to stay somewhat close to what actual shark sonic characters/underwater mobians in general look like #but then again the only sharks we see are a pair of siblings who only show up in archie sonic #so they might not be the best examples. idk. #i mean im already breaking the rules by giving him shoes #but he has shoes because im thinking he might spend a lot of time on land . where its not as comfortable/safe to go barefoot #whatever man idk #my art #oh and also ive been calling him riptide the shark in my mind as a placeholder name idk if itll stick or not

[silenthillbunni]

🤧🐀🌧️🌊

#need to clear my head; #im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn #trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come #nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired #i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out. #like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u #also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my #eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm #bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna #be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk #idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not #sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow #nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just #dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to :// #i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool. #then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway.. #im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀 #im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks. #but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol #im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired #i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do #anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can

[fridayiminlcve]

if i dont move to nyc or london or paris by age 27 what is the point of anything

#i looooove my city so much you guys like if i wasnt who i am (queer) rn i would be so fucking glad that i am in my current city but #i loooove art and history and fashion and stuff and this citymight be about second best for all that but its still soo crowded #people WILL judge no matter what you wear something cutesy and people dont shut up especially when ur 16 and tagging along with your mom to #the mall or something and everyone just stares and even among your classmates ive been complimented so many times #for my unique style or whatever (aka i have beaded shoelaces and wear lots of jewelery and absurd ass eyeliner) and theyre like oh #n******** is so fancy itni stylish bandi hai woh and its so attention grabbing but i dont want it to be a big deal !!! #i want to like 20 badges and wear insane makeup and dye my hair without calling much attention to myself!!! #of course i know that will change slowly as you go in to uni and meet ppl of your type instead of a bazaar market and youll pick ur own #friends who r like minded but considering this is india how many people can you truly find. #also my next two years are going to be spent in a college for jee and neet kids #you can wear what you want theres no dress code but you have to appear serious studious and simple if you want to be taken seriously #elle woods at harvard law type #i asked my mom to get an industrial & second lobe piercing and actual dyed hair and shes like turn twenty get into a good college then do #not bc she minds she allowed me to get my hair dyed at age 13 but to go in th college im going to there is SO SO much rigour #and if you dont show yourself as professional and shit they will keep you in lower effort self study classes instead of best of the best #i KNOW how difficult moving abroad is bc my family does not have that money i need to do it myself its so so expensive bc the money #itself has such a high value compared to here (you see americans cribbing abt 30$ hourly wage but here that is 2500inr) #2500 inr is as much as an expensive pair of jeans here. expensive clothes here r 30$ and in usa its 300$ . see the diffence #im changing topics so much but sometimes i do feel this place is suffocating #its a priviledge i have that i can even think about going abroad comapred to other indians but still #dp you get what i mean #and ik movies and all are very romanticised so it might not even be this way in western cities and just an idealisation but still #if things change around here then the entire question of going anywhere is out the window anyway #smalltown boy will byers moment #dni if you read all this and plan on replying unless ur a close mutual (close mutuals u know who u are) #also if someone says why would you want to go to usa uk paris when they colonised your country shut up <3 shut up very much <3

[ssomepersonn]

u know what time it is...

#object oc #osc oc #and then i talk a little #so i dont clog regular people tags with my silly gay people #in my month of thinking about my object ocs month baby #they are all so silly #i think lychee and fish case are both the type of mfs to get ridiculously stuck on ideas and neither are mature enough to admit they are #wrong so they just #end up arguing a lot lol #sketchbook likes someone who can keep the silly and the serious separate and. sharkie bud just doesnt like making everything so serious #(they CAN be more serious when needed but tbh. it is rarely ever with whatever sb has to tell them specifically( #i dont really have much in set mind for multitool aside from pubby guy rn dkjsd #lamp is insp by that ikea lamp u know the one #and uhhh yea! gay people #nuff said on that one i think #if the third guy is confusing to look at thats mirror!! it doesnt have a face so he emotes using other objects reflections :] #(it has its own voice tho lol) #expect more doodles of my guys #hopefully ^_^; #raspberry lemonade #mirror #shark plushie #lychee #sketchbook #my art #enjoy the essay in the tags i have more thoughts but it is almost 1am lmfao

[ban-joey]

sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful #did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w #possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting #plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there #my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh! #not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO #i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig #need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn #but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :) #like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends. #even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP #idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus #yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted) #a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay! #im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid. #he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party #and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate #and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :) #and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING #good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#i need to stop doomscrolling its four in the morning im so exhausted i technically have school shit i needed to finish and i have to get up #to go to class in a few hours too #it helps nothing either. its horrible to look and its horrible to look away and they both do absolutely nothing past a point just like w th #other endless amount of absolutely horrible things going on in the world rn #theres no new information now either. just the fallout and seeing what comes next #this and no other horrible thing going on in the world is abt us and how it affects us emotionally obviously like that's just specs of dust #on the thing itself #but. yeah. i. i dont think the human mind copes well w going from locally based ape empathy to exposure to every horrible thing everywhere #....... russia has bombed more apartments and civilian buildings too :( ppl caught under the rubble and dead #just. dear god.. i just keep thinking that. i just keep saying that to myself. dear god #dear god oh lord of duamne ya allah yarabbi whatever variation its most of what goes through my mind on loop #while my mind runs through so much of it. palestina and all the videos of dead and murdered and the children the videos from last week of #that tourist girl in israel the war in ukraina whats happening in kosovo armenia the uyghurs and china all the conflict in india and #pakistan the state of afghanistan yamen civilians being tortured by gangs in south america torture in general and the prisons around the #world and the slavery and the torture and the killing and the starvation and the pain and the million other things going on i don't even #know about and the fucking climate jesus christ the climate change??? #and my mind just doesnt stop. it goes through so much shit it maps out this horrible web of pain and pain and pain throughout the entire #world ;;_;; #i uh. i desperately need to take more time in my life and for years on end ive needed to tske more time in my life to think #of the good things happening in ths world too. small things big things anything just anything good anything getting better anything thats #working any proof of humanity in this species #i just. . #. #i go through the full range of human emotion from rage to numbness and dissociation to bitterness to shock to nothing shocks me to endless #sorrow to disgust and i end up at the end #feeling like the same kid who wants to cry and ask why can't we just be nicer to each other please. as if its that simple. j wish it was. #god. i wish

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#me @ birth control: u were supposed to bring balance to my moods not leave me in darkness! #whats worse? rocketing around with volatile moods feeling insane nearly all the time but sometimes in a fun way? or feeling level headed but #depressed enough at u dont give a fuck abt anything? #i say the latter so i should probably stop taking it. i cant handle the bloating or the depression. assuming i wasnt already on track to #feel like this bc it started before i was on the pill but it hasnt let up. but if u have a predisposition to mood issues or adhd u r more #likely to have depressive side effects. hod dammit. i need something that causes side effects in either ppl with bipolar or adhd so i can #disentangle myself from this mess. ugh. not that it even matter. im just treating this like an experiment with a sample size of 1 #the disadvantage of having an obsessive analytical mind: treating yourself like a test Subject #ugh. whatever ill see my counselor Monday and she'll tell me to chill the fuck out abt this. bc im being insane abt it #unrelated #genuinely tho im procrastinating rn for a class i have in an hour. that is very very very unlike me. im usually a: ill have it donr 2 days #ahead sort of person. bc im an anxious freak but now im just tired.

[ouchhq]

first morning since my sister came back from her vacation and i already want to off myself

#i was taking a shower and she woke up and started banging on the bathroom door screaming for me to get the fuck out and i refused and she #started screaming like crazy about how im a lazy piece of shit and i dont do anything all day and im 25 and i havent done anything with my #life and i need to get slapped in the face by life #as if i didnt struggle every day. every single day with my mental health and feeling like i have a purpose in life because tbh rn it sounds #so so appealing to just k*ll myself. as if i didnt think about it every single day #but i keep trying even if my body and my mind are doing everything they can to convince me to just let go i keep trying and of course my #sister wouldnt know shit about how i feel because all she sees is a lazy ass who sits in her bedroom all day but doesnt know what i do #with my time #but whatever #she just has such a special power in triggering me

[1980ssunflower]

I miss them both so much,,,,

#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙 #tape entry circa 1980 #i keep thinking and thinking of them #they feel so close to me #almost as if i could run into their arms and have them hold me close rn if i wanted #my world feels like its making less and less sense and tbh i feel really lost and sad #and i just keep thinking about how badly i want to be home w them both #i want to run up to my min-gi and squeeze him tight and squish his face in my hands and pepper his face in kisses #and of course plant a kiss on his nose 💙 #and i want to crash into ryan and for us to fall on the ground laughing as he snuggles into me and starts to kiss me and tickles me #and im screaming for him to stop but he doesnt fucking care and keeps going hgfdjks #i want us to go out for dinner together at a nice diner and walk around late at night down the empty streets #singing together and chatting abt whatever #i just need moments like that w them #i want this personal intimacy w them both were the world is quiet and we're all that exists to eachother #all that exists is us. right now. us and our love. and theres nothing to interrupt that #i want to breathe them in i want to take in their everything i want to be a part of them as if we were one person almost i just need them #i want to study their faces and take in how perfect they are... and feel my love for them overwhelm my heart and body and mind #as i sweetly plant kisses over every inch of their bodies to worship them to show them how loved they are #i dont want them to ever doubt it. id scream it to the world. id trade my own life for theirs in a heartbeat #theyre my world. and id do anything to protect and forever cherish my world

[n0ct0urn1quet]

@raiden-metal-gear-rising sorry this is a gaypos for u but it mite be more of just a rant because i am fuming (not rly i am just frustrated bc . u know why <3)

#im sur u read my previous posts abt uhhh my mom goign to visit my brother bc shes on vacation rn right . shes off til next sunday i think #but uh. yeah thats not happening bc guess what!! she cant afford it!!! because wow who wuldve thought that having to pay twice as much #money for bills + groceries would make u poorer than u already are!!!!! we are struggling!!!!!!! #and what has robynne done? nothing but PARTIALLY pay for grocieries. emphasis on *partially* #idk man its just insane. even if mom wasnt rly thinking about coming to see u we still cant bc we cannot afford it at all....... #i even said if i need to get a job i will and then added 'bceause im more willing to get one than she is' n she just looked at me #and idk man its just frustrraing . pls moeve out of ur place soon so i can leave and move in with u KAJSKLBKKLJG #i dont mean to say that to like rush u or anything u can do whatever u awant at Whatever pace u want i donot minde . it is oke #i just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! h #i have a very strong feeling im gonna be moving out before she does............................ #just saying #sorey i kno this is supposed 2 be positive bc is gaypos but . i am not in a good mood i want 2 scream and throw things i think #i just want my house back!!!! im tired!!!!!! im so fucking tired man!!!!!! i m going insane!!!!!!!! #and now i just feel horrible bc rob knows i talk shit about her in vc and i just feel like i cannot talk out loud at all rn bc what if shes #fuckin eavesdropping!!! thats another thing did she just overhear me or like completely listen in on our conversation #bc if she listened in on us then thats fucked and i hope she fucks off #but if she just overheard us then idk man guess ill just have to close my door and keep it closed all the time which is something i donot #want to do !! #i dont like having my door closewd bc 1. it gets humid and 2. kitty does not like it and also 3. i just like having it open #but i feel like i cant have it open anymore bceause what if shes listening to just everything i say now!!!!!! i feel unsafe!!!!!! #get me out of here bestie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #sory im just . H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im going insane ill rb this with happier thoughts in a second i just #oh i am so mad . so mad

[littlecrabbs]

#was listening to this earlier and idek felt the need to add it to my blog #dumbass me gets emotional over this song #and for whatever reason thinks of that scene in tsp #where John almost dies getting stabbed in the heart #and I think of a version where he does actually get stabbed #and dies #and Jamie is like #devastated #im rrly on my nerd shit rn #hdskjlafhakjlfhsdakjlfsd #dont mind me #Spotify

[riggedbones]

i think trans stories where characters end up learning to love their body as it is hits more For Me Personally than other stories. which i think is why im not a huge fan of the frankenstein inspired creature who is trans and uses frankenstein powers to transition quick n easy thing. like it's a perfectly valid way to go about it it is just not the transgender vibes i get from frankenstein monster. yknow? creature from the books does not have much say in what he looks like.

#lucky.pdf #wording might not be that good my mind is soup rn #idk. like medical transition is something that happens and is good and should be encouraged and celebrated etc. #it is just not something i really see myself wanting to do mostly just bc i already have so many things going on medically. dont need more #so i gravitate towards stories about characters who don't like how they look for whatever reason and then figuring out how to love themself

[angeltannis]

last time i went to my GYN nobody could give me a straight answer for how I as a lesbian was supposed to answer their questions about sexual activity (me: well what qualifies as “sexually active” in this context? bitchy RN who has apparently never had a gay patient before: umm idk *leaves the room and never comes back*), and now since then I’ve ticked off the “nonbinary, genderfluid or genderqueer” option on the gender box for my medical record, so who tf knows how that’s gonna go lol

#im seeing her this week #she's nice but the RNs that work with her are #well #Nurses(TM) #like the ones when people say that male bullies grow up to be cops and female bullies grow up to be nurses #that kind. #and like. the thing is that now theyve got me pegged as No HPV or pregnancy risk or whatever #bc they dont stop and think about me dating trans women bc their minds are small and their world views are narrow #so im gonna have to try to badger them into getting an HPV vaccine since they told me last time i didnt need one #and now im too old for my insurance to cover it #love being gay aka having to completely self-advocate bc no medical staff knows how the fuck to handle me