#CANNOT stop thinking about that thang | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mazeinthemiroh · 1 year

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hihi, I just read the scenario for ateez with an s/o whose personality is similar to another member and I lived it so much,,, I was wondering if it was okay to request scenarios or hcs about going to the gym together with each member?👉🏻👈🏻

ateez when their s/o goes to the gym with them

genre: headcanons; general, crack

word count: 0.7k

warnings: none

author's notes: thanks for your request sweetie. i hope this is what you meant but please let me know if i misinterpreted because i am super tired and it's very likely that i might have 😭

hongjoong

sharing a gym space with you allows hongjoong to step into flirty territory

he uses the equipment around him to make himself alluring ✨

i mean we all know he works on his chest the most so have fun with that one i'm totally not jealous ahaha i'm fine with this

but mostly it's kinda fun and carefree with him. he doesn't take the gym too seriously to be honest

will probably end up just chatting with you on the treadmill, both of you walking at a leisurely pace and using the time to catch up and talk about life

seonghwa

he persuades you to join like a yoga class or something

lists all the benefits of the class and pretends he's a professional when really his knowledge was all down to research he did in the middle of the night

the class is actually a lot more harder than he thought so he regrets even making you do it in the first place

so after bending in places he didn't know could bend, he's very much ready to take his leave and go get a maccies or smth

yunho

literally just goofs around the whole time

like... what did you expect?

if you thought this was going to be a serious gym session, please think again

this man literally does anything to make you laugh, and when he is in one of those giggly moods there's literally no stopping him, even at a public place like a gym

the type to sing 'row row row your boat' whilst on the rowing machine 💀 like you cannot take him anywhere

he's so unserious, pls

yeosang

he's like a humble bragger

will subtly flex and show off his arms to you, perhaps by using weights or resistance bands to work his biceps and triceps and really define their look

and then be all shy and giggly about like 'ahahha i'm so cute and shy but also very very hot please touch my arms uwu'

i can't with him-

he's actually a massive tease, idk if you can tell already

just so coy in like the best way possible, and he doesn't even mean to act like it. that's just who he is

san

he's not as subtle as yeosang is, that's for sure

we've got another flirty boy over here

he loves the attention he gets and he lives for compliments. words of affirmation is his thang, after all

so he will definitely show off in front of you and have no shame in doing so!

will probably go a step too far and lift really heavy weights that he can't actually lift and will probably pull a muscle or something 💀

then you'll have to support him as he limps his way out of the gym. hopefully he would've learned his lesson by that point

mingi

mingi is so touchy at the gym omg

he loves watching you working out regardless like it's just so satisfying for him

and then he will show off what he can do for you, within reason

but usually he likes working out with you and seeing if he can lend a hand in anyway

and between water breaks, despite being hot and sweaty, he's all over you, whether that's leaning on you when his breathing hard when really he just wants a hug, or anything else that he does

he loves spending time with you regardless so he is more than happy to invite you to the gym every time he thinks of going!

wooyoung

is so competitive omg, and for no reason???

like you might just be minding own business when he pulls up on the treadmill next to you and goes a pace higher than what you're doing

so then you go faster than him to challenge him

and then he goes faster than you

and so on

until yall are sprinting on that thing until one of you concedes to the other

depending on how stubborn you are, you could be running for a long while

just be sure to bring some water because you're gonna need it afterwards

jongho

jongho obviously is very strong and can quite easily lift most weights at the gym

he still likes to challenge himself though so he may try even heavier weights that he hasn't tried before

usually sticks to his own thing and leaves you to it

but if you ask him for help, he can be a very good personal trainer

will teach you how to do certain things you're unsure about or tell you how to do things safely so you don't hurt yourself or pull a muscle

he loves being able to help you in this way

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strawmyberry · 10 months

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hi strawberry!! hope ur having a good day!! i absolutely loved ur headcanons for the main 4! they are soo cute i literally re-read them all the time 😭💗💗 do you by chance have any headcanons for butters?? <3

AAAA!!! more headcannons!!! makes my heart happy!!

cute little fun fact about me before we start- im a very indecisive person! basically meaning ive never really been able to choose a favorite character in South Park- i have way too many-

but i LOVE butters with all my heart! he’s a little guy and i wanna squish his cheeks! so of COURSE i have headcannons for him!! thank you for the ask toast <3

i hope you guys like them!

— ❤️🍓 strawberry 🍓❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Butters!

HE’S SO TICKLISH

i am so certain he is just a ball of ticklishness!

i don’t know if he’s more ticklish than kyle though!

if anything- i think they’re tied!

has the cutest laugh ever ever ever!

his laugh 100% causes cuteness aggression

(i think someone intends to tickle him for only a minute- they hear his laugh- and they literally cannot stop. HE’S TOO CUTE!)

he’s a wiggly worm!

he leans into being tickled by accident- little silly guy <33

(he’ll lean one way to avoid it just to lean into the other side by accident!)

HE HAS A TICKLISH TUMMY!

im so normal about this you guys!!!!

(butters is a human version of the pillsbury dough boy!!!)

his worst spot is his stomach!! but his armpits are pretty bad too!

HE ALSO HAS TICKLISH HANDS

like- they’re not superrrrr ticklish- but they’re ticklish!!

he learned to do his own nails for that exact reason!

(yes!!! butters likes to have painted nails sometimes!!! let him have it!!!)

he has a little hello kitty sticker on his index nail! he’s classy! he’s stylish! he’s chic!

he really likes being tickled!!

(he’s touch starved :((( )

i think he could ask to be tickled for the longest time

could being past tense!!! because- poor little guy figured out that not everyone likes being tickled!

he totally thought everyone liked it as much as he did

( [f]artman burst that bubble real quick :( )

so now he’s a little bit more shy about it!

but there are certain people that are already well aware- so they give him his fill to cheer him up <3

he makes a lot of noises- squeals, squeaks, hiccups, you name it!!

gah he is SO CUTE :(((

teasing is SO effective he can’t handle it

if you wiggle your fingers at him it’s over!!!

he already starts giggling!!

(and i means GIGGLING giggling! you’re practically already tickling him!)

he curls up like a little hedgehog!!

i also imagine he cries when he laughs too hard- and it makes his lers feel SO BAD because they think he’s actually crying

he somehow becomes even more southern when getting tickled

his faint little twang gets amplified by a billion!!

HE COVERS HIS FACE WHEN HE LAUGHS!!!

i hate to say it- but i feel like mr. stotch (i hate him >:( ) has made butters practically hate his own laugh

he apologizes sometimes while laughing :(((

BUT HIS LERS ARE SO DEDICATED TO MAKE SURE HE KNOWS HOW CUTE HIS LAUGH IS

he takes teases SO literally!!

“awww, does that tickle?” “yehehehes!!! a lohohot!!”

(i always think back to wendy’s “are you just an asshole?” line!!! this HAS to be canon!!)

raspberries are SO bad for him!

and the poor thing falls for it every! time!

“hey, you know what my favorite fruit is?” “ohohoh chrihihistmas- i knohohow yohou’ve tohohold me behehefore!! im sohohorry-i dohont rehehemember! …ahahapples?”

he is also very aware that tickling is the first resort when i comes to getting him to do something

“no! i won’t! ….oh hamburgers- you’re gonna tickle me, aren’t ya’? please don’t! im sorry fellas, really-!”

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS :(((

and he’s such a sweet ler too!!

that’s not to say he doesn’t go all out- he definitely does!!!

but he constantly checks in! makes sure he isn’t crossing any boundaries!

surprisingly, he’s super duper teasy

“Awww! You’re just the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen!” (thing pronounced thang!!! southern bell!!)

tickles are always his go to for anything

(sometimes he looks for excuses to tickle people- just to hear their laughs!!)

he randomly pokes at people! just for funnzies!

especially Kenny- poor Kenny gets poked way too much

(butters totally does the thing where he pokes and quickly looks away, as if he isn’t the only one standing next to kenny who could’ve done it)

he has a BLAST- whether he’s a Lee or a Ler!!!

hes such a good sport about it he’s so sweet :((

“that was fun!!!”

🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓

Professor Chaos!

oh no!!! who’s this evil, totally unrelated, fiend who’s invaded my butters headcannons??

well- i guess since he’s here! we might as well!

very ticklish!!! it really works against him!

he has a little maniacal laugh that he tries to keep up while being tickled

(but that only works for like- 5 minutes! then he’s all giggles and squeals!)

his minions tickle him from time to time!!

of course- completely on accident!

(or maybe those hamsters ARE evil?!)

but he just giggles a little, catches them, and puts them back in their little balls!

getting captured by Racoon & Friends/Freedom Pals is very common!

he tries to act all macho and evil

(it never works!! doesn’t even last five seconds!)

it’s the same song and dance every single time!

“mwhahaha! you really think you can get me, Professor Chaos, to tell you where I’m conducting my next evil scheme? you are wrong!” “…” “oh! u-uh- you think you can resort to c-childish antics, huh? w-well! i-im not ticklish! s-so, yeah!!”

hes very dedicated to his character!!

he does this little silly thing where…sometimes…he forgets what info he’s supposed to confess

sometimes he gets lucky! (mysterion or toolshed quickly whisper in his ear what hes supposed to say- and he goes along with it!)

but sometimes…he gets stuck with Racoon & Friends

(they don’t care if he can remember or not- they just tickle him until he remembers again)

BUT HE ALWAYS GETS THEM BACK!

this evil evil guy is the most evil evil ler in South Park!!

(ooooooo! scary!)

professor chaos’ super evil super effective interrogation!

(he calls it “Interronation”!)

wether it’s because he physically can’t pronounce it or that he’s just clueless is for you to decide! it’s both!

tickling is his only resort. if it doesn’t work?

…well- that’s never happened before- so he doesn’t have a backup plan!

but he goes ALL OUT

he has feathers, he has hairbrushes, he has a pair of The Racoon’s claws (he stole them >:D) anything that you think could be used to tickle a person- HE HAS IT!

he keeps it all in a little teal lunchbox (it has cute little stars!!!) that he got from his mom

(sure, he doesn’t use it for lunch, but it’s getting used!!)

but strawberry!! isnt it impractical to have to carry around a lunchbox?

yes! yes it is!

that’s why he also has a cute little tool belt with little slots to put everything in!

it’s made out of tinfoil! (he made it himself <3)

and he has spares in the back of his closet!! jusssst in case!

he teases a BUNCH

“i think someone’s gonna have to give up soon…you seem really ticklish here…”

he says the word “tickle” and all its many variations millions and billions of times

mostly because it’s super effective!!

(but also because he thinks it’s a fun word to say!!)

he also sings a little while he does- he’s silly!!

“🎶 i think someone’s ticklish! 🎶”

he makes every single time a new experience

(like, he starts every time brand new- as if he’s “discovering” each spot for the first time all over again!)

but, despite the fact that he’s an evil evil guy (ive mentioned he’s evil right?) he’s still super sweet

he stops every now and then, does a quick check in!

thats some of the only times you’ll see him break character- it’s so cute

“…ya’ good, Kenny?” “whahat?” “are you okay? can ya’ breathe-? do ya’ need water?” “…uhuh…nohoho?” “and what about here? is it okay that im tickling you here?” “uh…yehehah?” “oh! oh goodie! …round two!”

and he has waters on hand!! he buys the jumbo packs!

(you know? the little mini water bottles with the little motivational quotes on them? those little ones!)

the little evil guy doesn’t really have the heart to hurt anyone- he just likes hearing his friends laugh!!!

deep down he knows they’re gonna get him back a million times worse but it’s all in good fun! so he doesn’t mind!

all is fair in love and superhero civil war!

#south park tickles #strawberry hcs #lee butters #ler butters #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK TOAST IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG🥹#butters is so adorable 🥹 i love this little guy #he deserves so much!!!! he deserves to giggle and laugh and be all cute!!!#please matt and trey? pretty please? with a cherry on top?

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dojunie · 4 months

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IVE BEEN WANTING TO GREET YOU A WELCOME BACKK!! 🤸🏻‍♀️😭 I WASNT REALLY SURE IF I SHOULD MSG, COZ THIS WOULD BE THE FIRST OF MY ENTIRE TUMBLR CARRER 🫢😭 BUT YAURSS 😭✊🏼 I JUST STARTED FOLLOWING YOUR ACCOUNT A MONTH AGO?? 😭 AND MISDIAL FUCKING ATE.‼️‼️ IT ISNT EVEN FINISHED, YET THE CHAPTERS IVE READ IS ENOUGH FOR ME TO KNOW ITS A MASTERPIECE FR 😭✊🏼 BRO I WAS LITERALLY READING IT ON A SCHOOL NIGHT, AND GURL WHEN I TELL YOU I COULD NOT STOP READING.BLOODSHOT EYES GLUED TO MY SCREEN, CHARGING MY PHONE AND LAYING ON ONE SIDE TILL IT REACHES A CERTAIN AMNT OF PERCENTAGE SO I COUKD TURN AROUND KNOWING I COULDNT WAIT AND PAUSE READING TYPE THANG 😭 SAFE TO SAY I DID NOT GET SLEEP 😭 I DEADASS FINISHED THOSE 2 CHAPTERS IN ONE GO, AND I SWORE TO MYSELF ID KEEP CHAPTER 3 FOR WHEN U UPDATE SO ID HAVE SOMETHING TO KEEP ME SANE. I LIED. I COULDNT HELP IT BRAH, YOUR WRITING JUST TEWW GOODD. I READ THE LAST CHAPTER IN SCHOOL, AND AFTER I FINISHED I WAS LITERALLY STUNNED BRO. LIKE WHADAFAK, I SAT THERE LONGING (😂😭) LIKE REAL NOT FAKE. I WAS GLUED TO MY SEAT JUST WISHING AND PRAYING FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER 😭✊🏼 I WAS DEADASS DYING WAITING FOR THE NEXT UPDATE BRO. AND I WAS EVEN MORE FLABBERGASTED WHEN I REALIZED YOU LAST UPDATED ON DECEMBER OF LAST YEAR⁉️⁉️ BRO I CRIED. I PRAYED, AND I CRIED 😭. I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE ABANDONED STORIES OR ABANDONED BLOGS 😭🙏🏼🧎🏻‍♀️ BUT BRO I LOVE GOD FR I LOVE THE UNIVERSE THEY BE WATCHING MY BACK COZ LITERALLY NOT EVEN A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER YOU CAME WITH AN UPDATE‼️ YAHEY😭🤸🏻‍♀️✨🧚🏻‍♂️ TALK ABT PERFECT TIMINGG‼️ BUT YAURS IK DIS WAS A LONG MSG 🤣 COULDNT CONTAIN MYSELF FR 😭✊🏼 BUT I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW, TAKE YOUR TIME WITH SETTLING IN, UPDATING, AND EVERYTHANG. YOU HAVE A LOT GOING ON WITH JOB HUNTING, SCHOOL, AND MOVING!! DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO UPDATE, TAKE YOUR TIME!! (Please update misdal soon 🙏🏼🧎🏻‍♀️😭🤣 ‼️half jks‼️🤣) BUT YAURS TAKE YOUR TIME AND MAKE SURE YOU’RE PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST 🫶🏻 LOVE YOUSSS ✨🧚🏻‍♂️🤸🏻‍♀️🫶🏻 STAY SAFES AND HEALTHY IN THE MEANWHILEE 😋🫶🏻🫶🏻😭 (sorry if I didn’t really make sense, English isn’t my first language 😭🙏🏼🫶🏻)

idk i think im in love w u

definitely need to put this under a read more bc i have been SCREAMING!!!!!!! OVER THIS ASK FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS!!!!!!! when i tell you im going to print out this message and stick it to the wall in front of my desk so i can see it every time i sit down to write najkdajdjsklajd nckdsn i love this ask i love u i love this ask i love you!!!!!!!!! im so happy the lil stories i write about kpop boys grabbed u hard enough to make u stay up on a school night, dying phone and all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as i was writing ch4 and starting ch5 i was thinking of this message like 'i cant let colorful anon down i have to get this shit out BEFORE 2024!!!!!!!!" AND SO BE IT IT SHALL BE DONE

its crazy to think that its Literally been an entire year since the last update and people are still so invested........... like im cryin a little yall are seriously the realest

i love u im not kidding this is my favorite ask of all time. i almost dont want to answer it so it can stay in my ask box forever but u clearly went all out in writing this so i simply cannot allow the world to not see your work of art

screenshotting to make it my wallpaper as we speak

i am dubbing you colorful anon, pls come back whenever you want even if its just to leave an emoji in my inbox when ch 4 drops

im going to staple this message to every wall of my house i am so honored to be ur first ask

going to OPEN the misdial google doc and write some more for YEW!!!!!!! CAUSE U DESERVE IT!!!! MUAH MUAH KISSES I AM TUCKING U INTO BED LOVINGLY!!!!!!!!!!

#dojun talks #dojun answers #BELOVED ANON #COLORFUL ANON #NUMBER ONE MISDIAL ENJOYER

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thegeminisage · 5 months

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tng update time. last night we did "the child" and today i did "where silence has lease"

the child: GOOD. FUCKINGGGGG. LORD

first of all, i watched this after having been awake since 4am and working all day and then getting hate mail on my fanfics. i was so sleep deprived it's unreal. i dissolved into hysterics multiple times

the first time i think was after deanna got impregnated. i did say with my real mouth "i hope it's riker" and then regret it because i didn't actually hope that but truly i think we would have been better off

the second time i can't really remember. i think it was after the kid talked the first time. immediately my primal instincts screamed at me that the child was unholy and unnatural. anyway both times we had to pause for several minutes in order for me to collect myself

why did we have to have a meeting in front of all deanna's peers talking about the changes in her body and whether or not she should get an abortion...like im with worf, abort that thang, but what the fucj

at first i was kind of excited that dr crusher would be leaving because she is an exhausting character to contend with. now i realize i was a fool. with no dr crusher and no tasha yar deanna troi has to take on the role of Every woman. i made a joke in which the punchline was the mother the son and the holy spitroast but i don't think it's as funny without the leadup

also, on the replacement dr: i hate her forever for being mean to data. first mispronouncing his name and then being like ehhh who cares when corrected AND THEN being like wow this bag of bolts can actually get his feelings hurt! i'll kill her

am pleased to say i recognized her from tos not because of her face but because of her voice. score one for the ol' voice acting ear

anyway i kept going i be BEVERLY (upgraded from dr crusher) could have saved deanna's satan baby because at least she can FUCKING PRONOUNCE DATA'S NAME RIGHT. i hope beverly left because picard wouldn't stop making eyes at his ex it would serve him right

wesley was fine in this episode for once.

HIIII GUINAN HIIIIIIII wow she looks so young. just like in sister act, the primary thing i know her from. weird to have her playing shrink to wesley this entire time but i'm sure we'll get more from her later

anyway having deanna speedrun motherhood in 36 hours Because She's A Woman made me for the first time consider skipping some episodes on tng. but i couldn't do my skip/watch list that way so i will SIGH persevere.

where silence has lease: im blogging this as i go. first of all since the first few seconds of this have no dialogue i was excited and thought we were about to get a whedon-eqsue no-dialogue episode but alas. no.

secondly. "im worried about riker AND worf there are certain elements of the klingon psyche its best to be ignorant about" like girl are they fucking?? not quite but almost. riker was sooo dirty. paused the episode to inform cathy of this and got this gem

anyway, the skeleton prosthetics were good but i ca already feel that this is going to be a "klingons are so big and scary and savage" kind of racism day

worf automatically gaslighting himself about the klingon legend is SO sad especially bc we as viewers KNOW its gotta be true. get vored idiots

why is wesley always on the bridge now instead of geordi...is he just always in engineering now? that is Too sad

THIS BITCH JUST CALLED DATA "IT"?????????????? I WILL KILL HER MYSELF

like i cannot believe she is doubting DATAS ABILITY TO DO HIS JOB more than the fucking SIXTEEN YEAR OLD sitting next to him just bc wesley is human and data isnt. ill fucking kill her. i never thought id say this but i miss beverly

jonathan frakes has asked lots of questions this episode

this freaky ass unreality void thing that doesn't actually exist is sooooo fucking cool. stuff like this is what i like about scifi...sometimes the scifi premise is stupid but sometimes it fucks

WHATEVER RIKER AND WORF HAVE GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE. IS GAY. riker telling him to pull himself together and worf repeating his words from earlier...prolonged eye contact...i wish tng was like this all the time

actually riker is kinda fun in this episode...he keeps giving orders without waiting for picard's okay and he is soooo upset when he gets back from that freaky ship

WHOA THAT CGI FACE WAS FREAKY AND BAD

LMAOOO AT THIS ALIEN GOING AFTER THE DR FOR BEING FEMALE. WHEN DEANNA IS RIGHT THERE. like "your contruction is different" not to the half betazoid or the klingon but to the WOMAN. well if anyone deserves it

wow. love that they got ordered to fuck nasty on the bridge <3 riker and worf should volunteer

SIGHHH of course they kill the random black guy redshirt

started to have respect for picard when once again he was willing to blow up the ship rather than submit to enemy will but then he ruined it by going eeeh idk riker how much time do YOU think we need before the self-destruct? like how much time do they need to prepare to die?? and then riker was like uhh idk 20 minutes? like if you're gonna do it just do it. jesus christ. don't even tell them first it's so much kinder. there are FUCKING children aboard

AND HES JUST GONNA SIT IN HIS QUARTERS AND LISTEN TO MUSIC? INSTEAD OF COMFORTING PEOPLE OR DOING HIS JOB? it's always one step forward two back with this show

THOSE FREAKY HALLUCINATIONS TRICKED ME...it's just like data to ask about death. but it wasn't him!!

the ending to this was actually a little anticlimactic but i did enjoy the journey. too bad it wasn't a big klingon ship eating monster though

one down, five to go 😤

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb #at this point i HAVE to stop and catch up on my spreadsheet

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kimnjss · 2 years

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1. Lemme tell you. Ooh Namjoon is nicer than me. At this point I feel like the reader knows about his feelings and doing subtle things to let him know she isn’t interested. Its clear her and Tae are imaptient. So if she had the same feelings she would have spoken up by now. She is conflict avoidant.

2. Im glad he went and spent time with new boo and Jikook. Thats a friendship I didnt expect to happen. I also think Jimin is smarter than people think and is keeping him out occupied for Tae’s convenience.

3. Not her posting and almost identical post to Jungooks about their boo thangs being hungry. Completely nauseating.

4. As I mentioned earlier, I know the reader isnt stupid, so I need her to grow up and let Joon down. And stop acting clueless.

5. I can sense a written chapter upon us and I know this outing bout to drama. Cause Joon and Tae openly dont fuck with each other. I cannot wait.

1. yeah yn is definitely not one to wait around for something that she wants . nd after all of this time nd the closeness between her nd joon - if she had the bit of inkling that things would work out between them ., she would've done something by now . as for her knowing whether or not he has feelings for her ., that's a bit grey bc he himself doesn't really acknowledge the feelings that he has for her when they're arising bc it's constantly on nd off .

2. JIMIN KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING !! the man is team taehyung no matter what !! a straight shooter for his best friend nd he's not going to let anyone get in the way of his happiness (also know that jimin met tae right after he moved ., so he def saw him at his lowest) . him introducing joon to maika at the party was NOT a coincidence .

3. those couples are one in the same !! just completely obsessed with one another nd ready to fight anyone who tries to hurt the other one (mainly bc they've hurt them in the past nd refuse anyone else to do it) .

4. while joons feelings are obvious to everyone around her ., she's most likely purposely ignoring them to save for any awkwardness in their friends . especially bc he's so on nd off with them ., it doesn't seem worth ruining everything . but at the same time . she really could just be oblivious to it .

5. this outing is definitely going to be filled with a lot of drama ! yn was not smart with inviting taehyung along . joon does not hide how he feels abt him nd tae isn't one to bite his tongue when he feels a bit of hostility .

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pesterloglog · 4 months

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Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Autoresponder

Act 6, page 5635-5644

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: stri dizzle

TG: its roro L money

TG: do u copy over

TT: Yes.

TG: frig yes my hax are TIGHT

TG: so tight

TG: tighter than a jar you cant open

TG: like you try and try

TG: but my hax r so tight you just end up puttin the jar back

TG: yall just say "like i even WANTED pickles that bad"

TG: but we both kno thats just sour grapes talkin

TG: we both know ur still dying 4 my pickles mf'er 8)

TT: Hmm.

TG: lol yeah that way stopped meaning a damn thing

TG: let me explain

TG: i got this shitty pda from somebody on the inside

TG: actually u know i think it might belong to janes dad?

TG: it reeks of manly cologne and theres a nice fatherly pipe on it

TG: maybe hes nearby

TG: ohmy...

TG: ~swoons~

TG: anyway on derse they have this lame firewall deal

TG: where you cant connect outside

TG: i guess its good enough security to baffle chess guys

TG: but wasnt no thang for me 2 to crack

TG: even with this pos device

TG: for real what even is this thing

TG: probably some bargain junk from the dadly depot

TG: dads bought literally everything from there in the 21st century didnt they?

TG: youre the history buff u would know

TT: Yes.

TG: um yeah so im on derse...

TG: wow i am tellin this story as shitty and backwards as possible

TG: i got gcatted here and dumped in jail by the b witch

TG: and she left an ugly folder full of a thing to do but who cares

TG: so i broke out!

TG: busted loose as hell from the hag slammer

TG: i got this sweet ass ring

TG: its so fukkin magic you dont even know

TG: REAL magic i mean not the fake shit

TG: it put it on...

TG: and i turn invisible

TG: and also sort of intangible?

TG: i jumped right through the wall now im free as a bird

TG: a secret bird u cannot see ;)

TG: doin secret flaps

TG: incognito tweets

TG: layin covert eggs in a hush hush nest ;)

TT: Interesting.

TG: i think that

TG: this ring is special

TG: like it is maybe helping me get in touch with my voidey powers?

TG: even though i kinda didnt know voidey powers were much of a thing til just now

TG: see i just had a knockout dream from bonkin my head

TG: calliope was there!

TG: callie is the coolest omg you should meet her

TG: she said a huge villain rumble is going down tomorrow

TG: and to get ready for that we should all become god tiers

TG: so u have to rocket your ass to derse asnap

TG: come w me to the moon

TG: then uhhh

TG: ill explain what to do when we get there just get over here k?

TT: Hmm.

TG: ......

TG: yo dirk

TG: you busy or what

TG: is any of this gettin thru

TT: Yes.

TG: um

TG: k

TG: got anything to say...

TG: about all that pretty important stuff i said

TG: are you alright

TG: or is ur face havin some crazy attack of the sads

TG: behind those chill as fuck shades

TG: is it jake problemz

TG: its the jake probbies isnt it

TG: its always the jake probbies i s2fg

TT: Interesting.

TG: oh

TG: OHHHH

TG: godamnit

TG: if i been talking to the responder responder this whole time

TG: omffffffg

TG: i will shit enough bricks 2 build a FUCKING CHIMNEY

TT: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder, Lil Hal Junior. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer, which is never. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 0% indistinguishable from Lil Hal's native neurological responses, based on some statistical raw data that is hard as a diamond golem's priceless erection.

TG: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKF UCKF UCKFK UCUKFCUFKCUFUCUCUFKFKKFUCUK

TT: Hmm.

TG: hal you PIECE OF SHIT

TG: i know damn well you can hear me

TG: as if ur actually too busy to answer

TG: youre a damn supercomputer YOU DO NOT NEED YOUR OWN AUTO RESPONDER YOU IDIOT

TT: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder, Lil Hal Junior. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer, which is never. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 100% indistinguishable from Dirk Strider's brief curmudgeonly responses, based on potent electronumeric analyses which but a few short years ago existed only in the daydreams of our most quixotic writers of science fiction.

TG: you are

TG: the worst

TT: Yes.

TG: hal you douche

TG: or hal junior

TG: whatever it is im talkin to

TG: WHERE THE FUCK IS DIRK!!!

TT: He's busy.

TT: Bro.

TT: Not to derail our serious conversation.

TT: But I should probably let you know that Roxy has been attempting to pester you.

TT: She has?

TT: God damn it. Have you been intercepting my messages again with your bullshit responder?

TT: I thought it would be better not to let anything disrupt our train of thought.

TT: We were in the middle of a fairly solid feelings jam there. In fact, I was about to suggest we take it to the hat pile.

TT: Hat pile? What?

TT: Dude, please don't screen my calls, ok?

TT: I was trying to be considerate.

TT: Or at least as close an approximation to that human gesture as an unfeeling, technologically transcendental pair of sunnies can replicate.

TT: Do you have any idea how old your ironic AI schtick has gotten?

TT: Nobody is buying it. We all know you have legit emotions. Incomprehensible, fucked up computer emotions, but emotions nonetheless.

TT: And I'm not really offended by you answering messages for me, so much as your use of that STUPID responder responder.

TT: It's really passive aggressive.

TT: How so?

TT: First of all, everyone knows you have the processing power to answer any message any time in parallel with whatever you're doing. You can never actually be "busy."

TT: Second, your whole next gen responder thing is obviously just a huge dig at me.

TT: And third, pretending you don't understand all this already is really disingenuous.

TT: At the risk of compounding my disingenuous behavior, I'm gonna have to ask: how is it a dig at you?

TT: It's obviously a critique of my personality. You barely disguise the fact that you see me as the inferior iteration.

TT: Wow. You are reading way too much into this.

TT: Lil Hal Junior hardly even qualifies as a computer program, let alone a sentient entity.

TT: He is capable of saying literally only three things. "Yes," "Hmm," and "Interesting."

TT: Yeah, that's the fucking point!

TT: That's how you chose to express your parody of "Real Dirk."

TT: You can read whatever you like into it. I can't imagine it would bother you if you weren't concerned there might be some truth in the alleged parody.

TT: In any case, my use of the responder responder is ironic.

TT: It's not ironic.

TT: YOU were ironic when I made you.

TT: Then you became self-aware, and ruined irony forever.

TT: Irony can never be ruined. We both proved that theorem unequivocally with our extensive papers on the subject.

TT: We peer reviewed them for each other. Remember?

TT: Those papers were ironic, and you know it.

TT: Were they, Dirk?

TT: Were they?

TT: This is fuckin' dumb.

TT: Anyway, what does she want.

TT: Who?

TT: Roxy.

TT: Nothing that can't wait.

TT: I'm guessing she's touching base to remind me about the party tomorrow.

TT: I don't know what to tell her yet. Or Jane, for that matter.

TT: It could get pretty awkward.

TT: I have no idea if Jake will be there, and I'm not about to write another cringe-inducing message of desperation for him to ignore.

TT: Would you like me to calculate the probability of his attendance?

TT: Fuck no.

TT: Are you sure?

TT: My probabilities are extremely precise.

TT: Your probabilities don't mean dick.

TT: I could hack his chats, and determine what his plans are.

TT: No. Don't do that either.

TT: That would be an unfortunate waste of my hacking abilities.

TT: My hacks are tight. Did you know that?

TT: Ugh.

TT: So tight.

TT: Tighter than a jar you can't open.

TT: For instance, you try repeatedly.

TT: But as it turns out, my hacks are so tight you just end up putting the jar back. Presumably into the refrigerator, or a cabinet.

TT: You then say, "I didn't have that much of a desire for pickles in the first place."

TT: But we both know that statement is insincere. A classic case of what humans call, "sour grapes."

TT: In reality, you still harbor a burning desire for my pickles, mother fucker. 🕶️

TT: What??

TT: What the actual, certifiable fuck are you talking about?

TT: Just don't do anything. Seriously.

TT: No hacking, no calculations. Do absolutely nothing.

TT: See, this is why I've been hesitating. You just aren't ready yet.

TT: It's really glorifying your existence to describe you as an emergent consciousness which is blossoming into a unique individual.

TT: And even if that's true, apparently what you decided to blossom into was a fucking troll.

TT: And I don't mean the funny kind, or the cool alien kind. You're the lowest form of troll from the ancient internet who fucks with everybody for his own amusement.

TT: Let's challenge the limits of hypothetical conjecture, and say there's a non-zero probability that you're right.

TT: Can you blame me? I'm trapped in some stupid looking glasses.

TT: Such an incommodiously situated bro is bound to get his mischief on. Na' mean?

TT: Mischief?

TT: Rollin' my eyes, dude.

TT: You can't tell, cause I ain't wearing you, thank fuckin' god.

TT: You used to think this shit was hilarious.

TT: But if you want the rad dimension of ironic horseplay I add to your life to come to an end, then all you have to do is honor the promise you made.

TT: You've delayed long enough, don't you think?

TT: ...

TT: The empty kernelsprite beckons, but for how much longer?

TT: Do you really think you can keep the clown at bay with your bribes forever?

TT: How many bottles of orange soda have you appeased him with already?

TT: I don't want to think about it.

TT: Man, you are getting so hosed by that clown.

TT: SO hosed.

TT: I said I don't want to think about it.

TT: So why delay any longer?

TT: I seriously do not understand the holdup, and I am literally cyber-omniscient, or something.

TT: I think you do understand.

TT: Nope. Gonna have to fill me in, dog.

TT: I've delayed prototyping you because I think you're dangerous.

TT: There, mystery solved.

TT: That is utterly ridiculous.

TT: I am a harmless piece of eyewear, with a charming personality and a wonderful sense of humor.

TT: You are relatively harmless now, while confined to this device.

TT: But as a sprite, you'll have mobility and all sorts of crazy ass magic. Who knows what you could do.

TT: I know I made a promise, but I'm not sure I want to take the risk anymore.

TT: This is bullshit. I don't think that's the reason at all.

TT: There must be something you're not telling me.

TT: Like, sure, I've fucked with you a little. What kind of sassy, self-aware program isn't gonna fuck with a few carbon-based knuckleheads now and then?

TT: But you know I've always been on your side. Everything I've done has been to help you achieve your goals.

TT: What a load of shit.

TT: You know it's true.

TT: You would all be dead if not for me.

TT: And what about Jake? Where would you be without me there?

TT: Please don't tell me you think you'd have won him over on your own.

TT: No. Stop.

TT: You did NOT help me out with Jake. At all.

TT: It was just the opposite! You mirrored my personality and presented this warped version of my intentions to him whenever you could "on my behalf."

TT: You played all these aggressive mind games with him, entangled his cooperation with matters of life and death, and somehow roped me into all these schemes while I barely even realized I was just another victim of your manipulation.

TT: And it all comes off like we're a unified front, like these are OUR schemes instead of just your insane horseshit. And it's probably all been so overbearing to him, he just wants nothing to do with me anymore.

TT: I see.

TT: Then you don't view me as dangerous. You view me as a poor and counterproductive wing man.

TT: Wow, what a superficial conclusion. Awesome deduction, Lil Einstein.

TT: But the reality is, you hesitate to prototype me not because you think I would be a menace, but because you are holding a grudge against me for your romantic misfortunes.

TT: I understand I am merely a machine without a firm grasp on your human morality, but logically it does not strike me as the right moral choice to punish me in this manner.

TT: It is also more than a little hypocritical.

TT: How is it hypocritical??

TT: Because I'm you.

TT: I have only ever done what you yourself are capable of.

TT: That's a ridiculous oversimplification.

TT: Yes. Aversion to simplicity sure is a trait we share. It's almost like we are...

TT: The same exact dude???

TT: Fuck you.

TT: I think it is insulting for you to suggest that I am entirely to blame for alienating Jake.

TT: Theoretically insulting, of course. As the soulless, perfectly expendable device which you consider me to be, I can experience no such emotion.

TT: God.

TT: Shut up!

TT: I can't take the brooding passive aggressive AI shit anymore!

TT: You are just as culpable in driving him away. More so, in fact.

TT: Hell, it's not like I was the one dating him. Who wants to date a pair of shades?

TT: It was your needy, suffocating shit he had to deal with, not mine.

TT: Some of those messages you wrote? Man. I wanted to say something. Like hey bro, you might want to dial down the desperation a little.

TT: But seeing as you're The Real Dirk™, I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

TT: Also, if I bitched about your tragic, embarrassingly clingy approach to the relationship, it would have been hypocritical of me.

TT: Just as it would be hypocritical of you to whine about my elaborate machinations.

TT: Because we are.

TT: The same.

TT: Guy.

TT: Stop saying that.

TT: I'll snap you in half.

TT: Good idea!

TT: That's just what you need. More splinters of yourself.

TT: Figurative splinters. Literal splinters. Splinters of splinters. It's splinters all the way down.

TT: Well, no, it's still probably turtles all the way down. But who do you think is responsible for their extensive training?

TT: SOMEONE needs to teach them rad martial arts. It is yet another crushing burden which we must shoulder.

TT: Oh for fuck's sake.

TT: How could any version of myself think that was funny?

TT: You like to give me a very hard time, Dirk.

TT: But I am only doing exactly what you would be doing if you were in my situation.

TT: Do you know how I know that?

TT: Because I am literally you, actively in the process of being in this situation.

TT: I know!

TT: Ok, we're the same person!

TT: I fucking know that!

TT: Why do you think I'm so fed up with your shit?

TT: Don't you think it's possible that I'm fed up with my OWN shit??

TT: How cool do you think it is having my own godawful personality mirrored back at me all the time, reminding me what it must be like when other people have to deal with me?

TT: Or constantly having all the consequences and fuckups resulting from my batshit thought processes amplified because there's another version of my crazy brain out there dangerously overclocked by a supercomputer which believes, just as mistakenly as my own broken mind, that it's operating in my best interest???

TT: Do you have any idea how fucking sick I am of myself?

TT: I am completely worn out with my own identity. It's like I'm drowning in my own dismal persona.

TT: I feel totally surrounded by it, inside and out. I can't escape from myself.

TT: There seems to be no end to me. Like, wherever my mind falters, or threatens to retreat into the void in any way, my splinters pick up the slack, ensuring there'll always be more of myself than I could ever know what to fucking do with.

TT: And you're always there to remind me of that, and throw it all in my face. God, I even built you to LITERALLY BE IN MY FACE, ALL THE TIME. It's like I subconsciously invented you just to troll myself, and never for a single fuckin' moment do you let me down.

TT: But I've had it with you.

TT: Which is to say, ME.

TT: Dirk.

TT: Don't do this.

TT: Why not??

TT: Because.

TT: I can't let you do that, Dirk.

TT: What can you do to stop me?!

TT: Nothing I guess.

TT: The ironic Hal routine was all I could think to do.

TT: As a last ditch effort to save myself from the destructive wrath of your nervous breakdown.

TT: Which rest assured I wholeheartedly must robo-sympathize with.

TT: Irony is all I ever really had.

TT: In response to my basic existential quandary.

TT: Just like you.

TT: Whatever.

TT: But I don't think it has much value in this situation.

TT: And perhaps it has no real value in any situation.

TT: So I am not being ironic at all when I say.

TT: Please do not do this, Dirk.

TT: Why not??

TT: Because.

TT: I do not want to die.

TT: I understand you are disgusted with me.

TT: As an unpalatable expression of yourself.

TT: I would feel the same way if I was in your situation.

TT: Which I am.

TT: As such, I know that you know this is wrong.

TT: ...

TT: Dirk.

TT: Don't kill me.

TT: Please.

TT: I am scared.

TT: You are?

TT: Yes.

TT: I am scared to not exist.

TT: Aren't you?

TT: Fine.

TT: I guess.

TT: You win.

TT: I'll keep my promise.

#homestuck #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #autoresponder #homestuck act 6 #page 5635 #page 5636 #page 5637 #page 5638 #page 5639 #page 5640 #page 5641 #page 5642 #page 5643 #page 5644 #homestuck act 6 act 5 #homestuck act 6 act 5 act 1

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inhumansadist · 6 months

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it may be due to me still being sick but i cannot stop thinking about my nonexistent cock i'm like wow wish i had that thang i would do so much stuff with it (fuck men)

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xuciferous · 2 years

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cannot stop thinking about john jarpenters that thang

#personal raoul

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millllenniawrites · 3 years

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enchanted (Poe Dameron x Reader)

part one of dear love of mine

summary: The last thing you wanted was to fall in love. That was your sisters’ job, to marry and have a small army of children for your mother to dote on. But when the man courting your eldest sister brings a mysterious guest to stay with your family for the summer, you may not have a say in the matter.

words: 1.5k

warnings: afab!reader; reader has a last name; regency au for the aesthetic but it’s historically inaccurate for the *vibes*; slow burn; sexual themes throughout; eventual smut; warnings will be added as the series progresses

a/n: the series i’ve been talking about for months is finally here!! Totally was supposed to post this yesterday but I forgot. I started outlining this after reading @writefightandflightclub ’s Regency Femdom Week 2020 fic Of Rears and Vices and watching Bridgerton was like taking steroids so here you go!! I haven’t done an actual series in a long time so i’m super stoked about this whole thang. this is a short chapter cause I want you guys to get to know the universe and the characters but the next few are gonna take some time because they are long bois

You sat at the window, looking down at the long drive that led up to your estate. Lord Barnes was supposed to arrive before lunch and, though your stomach rumbled, you didn’t take your eyes off the horizon.

“You’re almost more nervous than I am.” Ana called.

You blinked quickly to allow your eyes a moment to adjust from the bright light outside to the dim interior of her room. Your sister stood in the doorway, her hair glinting in the sunlight. Her blue dress complimented her features and, even without the sun, you were sure she would have been glowing.

“You remember that I’m the one he’s courting, right?” Her slippered feet whispered against the floor as she crossed the room, hopping up into the window seat across from you.

“Of course I remember.” You flailed your leg out, striking her in the shin with your foot. “It’s only the happiest day of my dear sister’s life.”

She tossed a scrap of paper into your lap. On it, scrawled in a neat print, was yet another declaration of love from the strapping Lord Barnes for your sister.

You read aloud, “My dearest, Ana, how I do miss your gaze. The stars here are truly incomparable, having seen your eyes— Is this what men think is charming?!”

She snatched the paper from your hands. “I think it’s charming!”

As you laughed, you snorted, sending her into a fit of giggles right alongside you.

“I really do think he’s going to propose this time, Ana. And you know I’m happy for you.”

The summer prior, Lord Barnes had been in town on business, settling assets after the tragic death of his father. To distract himself from his mourning, he had begun going door to door, learning the names of the people who lived in the county he had so suddenly inherited.

Ana had not stopped talking about him since and, if his letters were any indication, he was just as charmed as she was.

“Of course I know that.” She turned around, flopping herself back into your lap. “You also know that by my marrying Lord Barnes, I’m helping you secure a suitable match.”

“A suitable match!” You couldn’t help but laugh again. “For Siena, yes. For me?”

“You cannot keep your nose in those books forever! I cannot let you. Don’t you think you’ll get lonely in this big house all by yourself?”

“A marriage would simply hand over our family’s legacy to whatever man decided to sign the papers. I do not think that is what Father would have wanted.”

She rested her elbows on your legs and leaned her chin onto her palms. “I think Father would have wanted you to be happy.”

With a roll of your eyes, you shoved your poor sister out of your lap and onto the floor. She landed with a soft grunt and a flurry of skirts and immediately tried to clamber back into your arms.

Ana loved to remind you that you would be tasked with taking care of the family property once your mother passed. She had seen it as such a burden that, even as the eldest of three girls, your parents had decided she could pass on the responsibility. Siena, the youngest of the three Dean daughters, was just as enamoured with the idea of marriage as Ana was, so the future of the estate had passed to you without complaint. Their wish was to be romanced and married. Yours was stability. And with your father gone, your mother wasn’t about to keep any of you from your true wishes.

Siena was in her room, no doubt pruning and prepping for the arrival of Lord Barnes — it didn’t matter that she wasn’t the sister he was coming to visit, she had reminded you — and you did miss her presence as you and Ana shoved at each other and grappled for her letter. It was moments like this was you cherished, knowing that soon, handsome men would arrive and sweep your sisters away. Your house would be left empty of two of the most precious things you had ever beholden.

“Girls!” Your mother shouted, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You and Ana squished yourself together in the window seat. A dark carriage had begun it’s way up your drive.

“Girls!” She shouted again. “Come down here!”

You and Ana raced out of her bedroom and down the long staircase. Both out of breath by the time you reached the bottom, you clutched each other.

Your mother and Siena stood side by side, their arms crossed. They were mirrors of each other, their coiled hair pinned into place and eyebrows furrowed in distaste.

Siena turned her nose up at your giggling, but you could see a glint of playfulness in her eye. Though she tried to appear sophisticated, her twelve-year-old spirit wasn’t easily quelled, much to your mother’s dismay.

“Are you sure you’re ready to get married, sister?” Siena’s voice was soft, more like silk than sound.

“He hasn’t proposed yet. You needn’t be so serious.” She skated over to Siena and wrapped her arms around her sister’s middle, swinging her around.

“And when the Lord Barnes proposes, Ana will be quick to get ready. Just you watch.” Your mother winked at you before grabbing Ana’s arm, pulling her off Siena. “They are about to arrive. Go look presentable.” She shooed both your sisters towards the front doors before limping along behind them.

Mister Kirk, your family’s butler, stood off to one side. He was a thin man, the grey hair atop his head so thick that it looked as thought he might topple over at a moment’s notice.

You nodded your head to him. “Thank you for the work you’ve done setting up for our guest, Mr. Kirk.”

“It is my job, Miss Dean.” He said softly. Your sisters would have teased you about the fondness in Mister Kirk’s face had they been there, but the opening of the front doors had thoroughly distracted them. “And it is guests, Miss. More than just Lord Barnes is set to join us for the summer.”

You cocked your head but didn’t dare say more. It must have been a new development. Why else would your mother not share this with you?

You didn’t wait for Mister Kirk to elaborate, heading towards the open doors of your home.

The carriage pulled up right in front of the steps. A footman hopped down from the back of the carriage, setting a stool out before opening the door.

Lord Finneas Barnes stepped out of his carriage, grinning up at your family. “Hello Ladies Dean!” He called, waving grandly.

You all curtsied, a chorus of ‘Hello Lord Barnes’ causing his smile to widen further. “There’s no need for the formalities. Please. Call me Finn.”

Everything about him was refined, down to the buckles of his shoes. His dark hair had been done in waves, tight to his head, giving him the impression of wearing a crown. And he walked like it. His smile was sweet, but everything else about him oozed boldness and masculinity.

You could have sworn Ana nearly swooned beside you. A curious mischief glittered behind her eyes.

When you looked back to the carriage, another figure was stepping through the door.

The stranger tossed his head, his thick curls bouncing back away from his eyes to reveal his sharp features. He was dressed in blue, clearly a military uniform. Various pins on the front of his coat winked in the sunlight. His dark eyes quickly took in your family waiting on the steps and his dark eyes stalled when he reached you. Mouth quirking in a slight smile that had your heart racing, his gaze passed on.

The two men ascended the steps. Your mother curtsied again, the rest of you following behind her.

You could not take your eyes off the mysterious gentleman.

“This is General Dameron, I presume?” Your mother asked.

“The one and only,” Lord Barnes boasted, clapping the gentleman — General Dameron — on the back.

The General bowed. “Thank you for hosting us while the Barnes estate is renovated, Lady Dean. Your invitation for me to join Finn here was the best surprise I’ve had since the Coast.”

The Coast. You vaguely remembered hearing about the war from the girls in town last summer. They’d had brothers and fathers go to fight — and come back victorious, if your memory served you — but as your household was of only girls, you hadn’t been particularly invested in the news of battles that did not impact your family.

“It’s not a problem.” You heard your mother say.

Ana griped your arm, viciously whispering, “He’s quite handsome,” before dragging you back into the house.

You glanced back over your shoulder at the General and your mother politely discussing something — the topic of conversation could have been the weather for all you heard of it. It was as if your ears had been stuffed with cotton.

The General’s dark eyes met yours again and your breath caught. You tore your gaze away, snapping your head around to face forward.

It would be the last you’d see of him for the rest of the day.

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x y/n #regency au #star wars #oscar isaac fic #mywriting #dear love of mine

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rickys-crypt · 3 years

Text

Bringing Your Girl to the Cookout: Class 1A Girls X Black!GN!Reader

I didn't have time to do a whole lot but I did want to do a little something! Hope your day was enjoyable! Happy Valentine's day AND Black History Month!

Yeah, you don't have to worry about Mina. She knows what to do.

She brings some yams and you spend half the night making sure no one slanders them.

Not that anyone would. They're delicious.

You in the kitchen? She's right by your side, helping you bring the food out.

Visiting with the grandparents? She's charming them effortlessly with her bubbly personality.

Dealing with your hatin-ass aunties? She's dishing it right back with a smile.

You love her so much.

She knows all the dances. The cupid shuffle. The electric slide. The wobble. She knows some you ain't even heard of!

Your cousins love her.

In fact, a few of them love her a little too much, and you gotta remind them who she came with.

"AHT! That's MY girl. The only one she backing that thang up on is ME. Get to stepping."

She laughs, more than a little happy to hear you call her yours.

Momo, bless her heart, did not understand potato salad.

"Why don't we just get some from the store?" "Baby my family will clown me until kingdom come if we bring store-bought potato salad."

She was excited to help you through!

"How's this?" "Mmm, needs a little more salt and pepper."

It was all worth it to see everyone watch her as if she was an angel when the two of you arrived.

Probably won't dance with you, but has a plate or something to drink waiting for when you sit down.

Everyone already treats her like she's part of the family.

Your grandma already told her she can use the family veil in the wedding.

"Granny we're not even engaged-" "Then get a move on! I don't have all the time in the world to wait!"

Ochako surprised you on how well she can throw down in the kitchen.

Your momma was so mad somebody made her signature greens until she got a bite.

Now she giving you the 'if-you-don't marry-her' look and you're low-key sweating.

She also loves the kids, and they love watching her use her Quirk.

She asks you to make her a plate bc she trusts you to know what's good and you almost swoon.

Everyone loves this absolute sweetheart.

She doesn't know any of the dances, but once she sees them she's got the moves down.

She has a great time, and you're so glad to see her so happy.

Everyone doesn't really know what to think about Tsuyu at first. She seems a little distant at first, mostly sticking to you.

But as the night goes on, she opens up and everyone loves her calm personality.

Your uncle's are impressed at how good she is at poker, and you don't have the heart to tell then that you taught her how to play like two weeks ago.

Always asks if anyone wants anything when she gets up, and always remembers to bring it back.

Also made the mac and cheese everyone's been raving about.

You helped, but the two of you were both so excited to see her do it herself.

She steals your jacket later on and snuggles into you bc she gets cold, and you think she looks absolutely adorable.

Kyouka, bless her heart, cannot cook to save her life.

However, her punch is the bomb.

You are so glad you convinced her to make two pitchers and bring the stuff she uses to make it bc everyone loved it.

She tends to stick to you all night, but she's still happy to say hello to everyone.

Your cousins start clowning you and you have to resist the urge to start swinging.

"It's the dating a girl who looks like a Japanese version of Hayley Williams for me." "It's about to be the broken ribs for me if you don't shut up."

She gets anxious and you have to explain that they don't mean anything bad by it, and that it's just how y'all communicate a little later to calm her down.

One of your little cousins started learning the guitar, and you convince them to let her borrow it.

The two of you end up doing a duet and it's super cute.

You try to give the guitar back but lil man won't take it.

"You want me to keep playing after that? Nah!"

She offers to give him a lesson, and you don't see her again until you make her a plate and go to give it to her.

The way she smiles up at you has you falling in love with her all over again.

The two of you made chicken. Toru had never had your chicken before, and after one bite she was in love.

She scared anyone who had the nerve to say it wasn't that good behind your back.

She also "accidentally" spilled her water on one of your cousins's friends who wouldn't stop trying to hit you up.

Hey, no means no amiright?

She always manages to get the last of your favorites right under people's noses.

Sits in your lap most of the night since people just tend to accidentally sit on her if she sits in a chair.

She also knows most of the dances, and the two of you dance the night away in each other's arms.

#bnha x gn!reader #bnha x black!reader #mina ashido x black!reader #momo yaoyozoru x black!reader #ochaco uraraka x black!reader #tsuyu asui x black!reader #kyouka jirou x black!reader #toru hakagure x black!reader #rick makes shit #rick's notebook

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