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winter-spark · 22 days

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Citron's Love and Limited Self Value Disguised as Coldness & Selfishness!

Okay! So, I said I had thoughts back in December about Citron's coldness & 'selfishness' so let me actually share them now. (I was starting to doubt doing this but one of my mutuals said I should share my thoughts on a3! things and that they'd like to hear them, and this is one I really wanted to share so here I go!)

Intro/Too long; didn't read:

There are three things that I feel are true about Citron:

He loves and values everyone so much.

For the longest time, he saw himself as a title

These things combined into him making decisions that on the surface come off as cold and or selfish but underneath are dripping in love and care.

Table of contents

Paragraphs 1 -3: Fleeing Zafra Paragraphs 4 -6: Joining & Leaving Mankai Paragraphs 7-9: Leaving Guy & Lies Paragraphs 10-14: Citron vs Tangerine and their Dad Paragraphs 15-16: Good now right? Paragraphs 17-22: Tangerine in Citron's Past Role {additional thoughts on this: here.} Paragraphs 23-24: Conclusion

Let's begin with the reason he even fled Zafra in the first place. Citron was being targetted, by those who thought his brothers were better fit to rule than he. And he was aware of this being the reason strange things were happening. At least, seeing as Guy had the suspicion/knew, I don't see why Citron wouldn't have.

Instead of voicing what was going on or raising any suspicions, he just left. He couldn't let them win win because his only value is his role, he's the Crown Prince. It's all he is. But he loves his people and he loves his brothers. He's not going to cause them any problems. They want him gone. Alright, he'll leave, silently without a word to anyone. Is it selfish to leave those who care deeply about you with a word? Well, some people might say, "obviously" but Citron loves so much and refuses to stop existing in the only way he knows, so he couldn't say a word.

What was he supposed to do? Say goodbye to Tangerine and cause him to worry and rouse suspicion on others? Tangerine is very headstrong, he would've wanted to get to the bottom of it(pin on that). Similar thing with Guy, if Citron told him he wanted to leave, Guy likely would have suggested that he say something, if Guy didn't just follow him. He can't really go undercover with Guy around, and maybe he wanted Guy to have a break from being at his beck and call(more on that later). If he announced anything of this to his father, his father would have gotten to the bottom of it. Citron selfishly chose to leave, without a word. But when you think about his motives he wasn't just being selfish, he was trying to protect people because he cares so much.

Then he gets to Japan and ends up finding a struggling theater that just needs a few more hands. He's not gonna stay for long. He can't stay forever. But what's the harm in lending a hand? Afterall, he's always loved the arts.

But then something strange happens. He acts completely different than who he is, completely different than whats expected of him. And they value him anyway. It's beyond just needing another person for the play. They care about him as a person. It's not yet addressed not fully, not really but it's there. And he cares about them. So he pours his heart into them but keeps a distance as best he can, he can't stay he knows this. They can't learn more, they can't care more, they can't be sad about his departure.

Of course, they were gonna be, and of course, Guy was gonna find him. He knew his time was coming to a close when Tsuzuru brought that souvenir. So when Guy arrived, it wasn't the time to dwell on it. On his desires, on his wants. He wasn't allowed to have those. He's the Crown Prince. He must go ascend to the throne lest Orange do. As is his role. As is who he is. As is what he's good for. It's what he's meant to do. He didn't want to leave but he has to and it's going to be sad and hurt. And he loves Mankai, Spring Troupe so much, he doesn't want them to be too sad about his departure. So he creates a list of tasks--a distraction--one for each of them, he can't pretend he's not leaving but he can make it fun and silly for them. Itaru pays for a buffet, Tsuzuru joins him in Manzai, Masumi lets him have some time with Izumi. They're small things to prepare for the goodbye but they can't have an actual goodbye, it'd be too sad. So he gives Sakuya the task of performing with Mankai, something he never plans to do but is something nice for Sakuya to look forward to he doesn't realize the hope he's planting, the hint he's leaving of his own desires, but he does. I believe it's called a Freudian Slip. And that's what he does by putting Sakuya last, with Chikage's Vanishing Citron act before it.

But! Before we move on we can't leave out his love for Guy. Leaving Mankai, Spring Troupe without a real goodbye is harsh, it's selfish, it's unfair, they weren't ready, he left too fast. It was sudden, no one really got any sort of closure. But leaving Guy behind(again) and telling the people of Zafra that Guy held him hostage against his will in Japan, that's cold, that's vicious, that's confusing. That's Citron's love.

When Citron was a little tiny child, he looked at that messed up soldier in training and decided that was his person. And overtime found out just how messed up he was, and Citron wanted to help. He wanted to prove to Guy he wasn't an android, wanted to get him in touch with his emotions to some extent, wanted to get him to be able to do things for himself. Here's where we continue on the "more on that later" point, Citron understands how much Guy has devoted himself to Citron and Citron specifically, and he wanted Guy to be able to be his own person, to have a freedom Citron couldn't have. I like to believe part of the reason he didn't take Guy along with him in the first place was to sort of start that divide, to let him exist on his own, as his own person. We know that goes into him leaving him in Japan with 0 way to return to Zafra. Citron wanted so much for Guy to find his own personhood, and connect with himself, his roots, and he knew Mankai was a great source of support for Guy, because Citron vetted them. Citron loved Guy so much he'd rather be without him than let Guy continue without his own sense of self, his own purpose. His freedom was ending but he wanted to gift Guy with it.

Was it one of the ugliest ways to do it? Oh absolutely, but Citron's quick and analytical. He knew if he just said he intended on leaving without Guy, Guy would have probably followed anyway. So he asked himself how can he ensure Guy's not going to follow him and has a way to remember his past, so he leaves Guy's charm with Izumi and he returns home lying that Guy was at fault for his absence. Guy can't come in, and even though Guy's been cast out of Zafra, Citron can see this as reassurance, he knows Guy is somewhere nice and he knows, in theory, Guy's not coming back to Zafra. Did Citron really never want to see Guy again? Of course not! Like Mankai, Citron loves Guy a lot, but Citron doesn't want to doom people to sorrowful fates.

Take his brothers for example. If Tangerine hadn't been apart of the rescue plot whatsoever, Citron would have done his best to still not rat out Orange and Navel. Citron been knew they wanted him out of the picture. He knew. But he doesn't want them to have to suffer. Even if they were never close like he'd have liked, even if they hated him, even if they were trying to steal the one thing he was allowed to exist as, even if they were trying to kill him. Citron loved his brothers and valued their well-being. He didn't want them to be in trouble surely not behind him and he would've kept that secret to his grave because of that.

But things can't always go how you want them or to your plan. Tangerine (unpinning that earlier point), is very headstrong and he sees things a little more equally. His brothers are all people, and two of them were apart of a plot to kidnap and murder his other brother. He was supposed to keep quiet about that? Lots of people were nearly injured in the event. Of course, he was going to tell his father what happened. Brothers or not that wasn't okay.

And the King, very much like Tangerine, sees things more equally. The King like Citron has a role he must fulfill but he doesn't seem to have the same problem as Citron where it's all he sees in himself(I think, he's seemed to spend very little time with his kids as they grew up so that up for debate), he loves but he can put that aside and think about what's fair for all parties.

It's not fair, for Orange and Navel to simply just be scolded because they are his sons, this was a serious offense, he must treat it as such. It's not fair, for Citron to lie to the people, to lie on his retainer who has done nothing wrong. There are many things to consider. Is him allowing Citron to be an ambassador(was that the word? Idr) of the arts being a little soft on him? Honestly, I don't know, maybe, but he loves his son and he understands that he must have been struggling and in fear of running away because he was being plotted against, not saying anything because he has a big heart. And he just nearly died. He can't let someone so willing to lie over being upfront and stopping issues early on because of feelings be the next in charge, but he knows Citron is very capable and he sees the warmth of Spring Troupe, Mankai with Citron. He understands that where the Palace lacked for Citron, Mankai picked up for it. Citron had a home away from home but also wanted to serve his country. The King, his father, didn't really want to take either away from him. So he gave him a new role, a way he can have both. [How did this become a meta about his dad? lol] This scene, Citron goes through likely a lot of emotions.

Being stripped of his role, the one thing he's lived for, his one purpose in life, the thing he's fought for jeopardizing his relationship with his brothers, his sense of value. That mess is heartwrenching, it's scary. He just failed to protect his brothers from punishment and he lost the one thing he refused to ever actually give up. Now what?

Now, his father gives him a gift. A gift truly of freedom, decorated in a nice bow of still being valuable to his country but also showing him that his value wasn't just his title. He didn't have to be Crown Prince to be worth something. Could he have left the title sooner? Who can say? But right now, his father is basically saying "I love you and I value your happiness" and what more could Citron really ask for? Things are starting to look up for Citron, Guy was able to start healing from his past, Citron gets to return to Mankai and exist and have value and above all be loved. Everything is great.

Except then there's Tangerine.

Many of Citron's problems growing up were tied to him being the Crown Prince, it's restricting, it expects a lot of you, and it's a sad existence. That's how Citron views the title of Crown Prince, even if subconsciously, it's a bad thing to be thrown upon someone. It's something that destroys your sense of worth. How could Citron do that to someone he loves so dearly? He ran off, to be happy, to have a sense of worth outside of the title of Crown Prince, he left his precious little brother for dead, and what kind of person is he to do that? His suspicions "confirmed", when Tangerine shows up unannounced after running away from home.

Citron is so used to seeing himself as "the Crown Prince" he doesn't even consider that Tangerine just missed his brother, or wanted to ask for some sort of comfort or advice or anything like that. Because Citron was the former Crown Prince and Tangerine is the current one. That's where is mind is at. Citron is reliving all those years mentally and worrying that Tangerine is living like he was. Why else would Tangerine run away and come see Citron, who was once in his position? So his love for Tangerine and his pain from only seeing himself as a title combine into guilt, and that guilt turns him cold.

He can't rub salt in Tangerine's wounds by showing how happy he is without the burdens of the crown staring him down. He can't flaunt his freedom. He can't bare seeing Tangerine suffer the way he did. So he frowns and he gets serious. There are expectations of the Crown Prince, too. And Citron has those embedded into his very being. And he tries to somewhat of what you'd expect someone to be after having prepared for a role for years to someone now in their role. And he tries to get Tangerine to go back as quickly as possible. And it's selfish to send someone away because of your own feelings and not what they've done but it's also so complicated for Citron.

He's not mad at Tangerine, he's sad for him and mad at himself and every second Tangerine's there is a reminder of all of that and a show of Citron being a bad influence probably. Citron's used to falling in line and fulfilling duties so as he becomes somewhat of what you'd expect of a serious mentor, it makes sense that he's falling back into that mentally, the proving oneself to the right/expected thing to do. A good older brother/mentor wouldn't let his brother who needs to be preparing for a big event miss practice and possibly the event. A good older brother doesn't brag about how good he has it now that the younger one has it worse.

Of course, thanks to Masumi's patience with Tangerine and Spring Troupe's patience with Citron, he was able to turn his love warm again. But it was a bit rough getting there. Like the other events before.

Honestly, there's so much more that can be focused on about Citron and a part of me wants to go on a tangent about the little slips he has like the wish he'd given Sakuya and how his emotions slip through in other ways like how he got kidnapped and stuff like that. But I should probably reread things again before/if I do that. The important part here is just that I'm so fascinated by how Citron is just so full of love but for so long lack a full sense of self outside of the Crown, (not to say he didn't have interests and desires but more in the sense that nothing he had interest in or desired fully mattered in the long run because it was insignificant to the role he was meant to play, in case I haven't made that clear) and how those things combine into actions that are cold and or selfish but also so layered and so full of care.

Citron is so !!! my heart! Idk how to put it quite into words but I haven't really seen people like full-on analyze him really (outside of some analyzing in fanfictions really funnily enough) and I wanted to just give him a bit of focus. Honestly, it was long over due with how much I talk about his brothers. I didn't even say everything I thought but that's okay. Just means more opportunity for me to talk about him again later.

#a3!#act addict actors #Citron a3 #<- me using real tags. whoa!#long post #Citron & his brothers #The Zafran Princes #I want this to appear when people are looking at my posts about the others even though I brush over Orange and Navel in this post #(See I told you Citron was my favorite)#also I hope this doesn't get less strong as it goes on #and that none of the points fall flat #I often like to pull direct examples and evidence but I didn't for this one #but it's got me thinking I should totally try again to write that ship essay

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meenatranslates · 5 months

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[SSR] Citron | Affection and Respect

Everyone from the shopping district is a truly wonderful friend of mine! One must eat the taiyaki that you get as you bump into someone!♪ If I ever missed Juliano from my homeland, I’ll hug this cushion rea~lly tightly♪ quote taken from yaycupcake

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Citron's Channel~ (Tentative) - Part 1

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*Director's default name as Izumi

―Courtyard (Night)―

Tsuzuru: Excuse me-.

Citron: State the password!

Tsuzuru: Huh!?

Citron: “Man”...?

Tsuzuru: ...”kai”?

Citron: Wrong, try again!

Tsuzuru: Wha- You’re the one who called me over!

Citron: I thought for sure you’d know the answer. Ueehh, I’m so disappointed...

Tsuzuru: Ngh... Fine, let me redo this one more time.

Citron: “Man”?

Tsuzuru: “Zai”!

Citron: Okay, you can come in~!

―Room 101―

Sakuya: Welcome, Tsuzuru-kun!

Tsuzuru: Can’t believe I had to go through that to enter here...

Izumi: Citron-kun must’ve really liked passwords, huh.

Itaru: That reminds me, he made us say them when we had a strategy meeting before.

Masumi: I couldn’t get in the room right away that it was a hassle at that time...

Chikage: In a way, you could say it’s the strongest security.

Sakuya: Anyway, what are we gathered here for tonight, Citron-san?

Itaru: Eh, even you don’t know?

Sakuya: Yes, he said that he’ll tell us only when everyone is here...

Masumi: What's the big deal.

Chikage: Maybe it’s about a classified information or something.

Citron: Exactly! It’s a serious matter that could shake the whole nation...!

Sakuya: EH!?

Tsuzuru: W-what do you mean by that?

Izumi: Uh, you see...

*flashback*

―Hallway (Night)―

Izumi: (Huh, there’s someone talking in the practice room... I wonder if he’s having self-training?)

Citron: Oh, Director!

Izumi: Citron-kun! Oh, you were in the middle of video call. Sorry about that!

Citron: It’s ok, it’s just Tangerine~.

Tangerine: “Good evening! Long time no see, Director-san.”

Izumi: Good evening, Tangerine-kun. Seems like your Japanese has improved again.

Citron: Director, you’re such a “light fowl” for staying up this late at night~.

Izumi: “Light fowl”? You mean “night owl”, right?

Citron: Yes, that!

Izumi: Well, why did you bother to take the video call here? You could’ve done it in your room or the lounge.

Citron: As for that... It’s because this transmission is a consultation of a crucial classified information...

Izumi: Classified information!?

Tangerine: “We were talking about ‘Citron’s Channel~ (Tentative)!’”

Izumi: ...It sounds so laid-back that it’s not like classified at all.

Citron: Geez, you have no sense of comedy, Tangerine.

Tangerine: “?”

Izumi: Um... Sorry if it’s really a classified information, but what’s “Citron’s Channel~ (Tentative)”?

Citron: It seems that the number of Zahran citizens who are interested in Japan has been increasing ever since that Kabuki performance.

Tangerine: “Many of them, especially the young ones have great interest in it, so we were discussing about opening a video channel.”

“If Onii-sama introduces the culture and lifestyle of Japan using the channel, all the Zahrans will love Japan even more!”

Izumi: Wow, it’s definitely a great idea!

Citron: There's a problem though. We’ve agreed to make one video as a trial, but still can’t decide on the main content...

Izumi: In that case, why not try asking everyone else about it? They might have some good input.

Citron: I see, they do say “thousand heads are better than one”, after all!

Izumi: Haha, that’s a bit too much. You’re supposed to say “two heads” there.

Citron: Alright, I will call everyone in Spring troupe along with Director and have 7 of us brainstorm ideas together!

Tangerine: “I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of video you’ll make with your friends, Onii-sama~!”

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Citron's Channel (Tentative) - Part 2

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Citron: ...And that’s about it!

Tsuzuru: Geez, don’t surprise us like that. That wasn’t even a classified information at all.

Itaru: Well, he’s not wrong about it being a national project.

Masumi: “Citron’s Channel~ (Tentative)” sounds too laid-back as the name for the official channel.

Sakuya: It’s memorable and very Citron-like, so I think it’s good though!

Chikage: For starters, I guess we should do our best to make some content for the video.

Citron: Me and Tangerine have tried to think of several ideas. Here’s one of them.

Sakuya: “Grand Plan: The One who Lies is the Golf”...? ( 1 )

Tsuzuru: You’re supposed to write “the Wolf” instead of “the Golf”...

Citron: Oh~, that’s our Tsuzuru! Never miss a beat to retort!

Masumi: To begin with, that plan itself doesn’t make any sense.

Chikage: Like I thought, for stuff like this, isn’t Chigasaki the expert?

Itaru: Hmm, let’s see. First off-.

―Kitchen (Day)―

Izumi: Okay, the camera’s ready~.

Citron: Today, I will introduce you to okonomiyaki! A fun and delicious Japanese dish that the whole family can make and eat together~.

Itaru: Well, we can try going for the classic, which is a cooking video.

Sakuya: The attraction to delicious food is universal after all!

Citron: The main ingredient is the cabbage! We will now chop it into bite-sized slices...

Masumi: He said that, but he’s cutting them big though?

Itaru: Bite-sized has lost its meaning.

Citron: Next, we add the flour and the eggs! Bam! Into the frying pan they go!

Tsuzuru: He’s putting everything in one motion...!

Chikage: You can’t really call that an okonomiyaki.

Izumi: At this rate, false information about Japan will spread around the world...!

Itaru: Hmm, so cooking’s a no-go. In that case-.

―Dining Room―

Citron: Now then, let’s eat Citron’s handmade okonomiyaki! Itadakimasu~!

Itaru: We’ll try doing an eating video. It’s another popular genre.

Citron: Oh-! This is...!

The crunchy cabbage and the mushy batter create a completely new texture!

Masumi: So you’re saying it’s undercooked.

Tsuzuru: Of course it is! From the way you cooked just a while ago...

Chikage: If this makes people think that Japanese food is not delicious, our image will get damaged for sure.

Izumi: Hngg, I guess this video is a flop, even though we recorded all that...

Omi: I’m home. ...What an amazing sight I’m seeing here.

Sakuya: Ah, Omi-san! Welcome home!

Tsuzuru: My bad for making a mess here. We were shooting a cooking video just now...

Izumi: Sorry, we’ll clean it up soon.

Omi: No, I don’t mind that you used the kitchen. Just that, what were you making?

Citron: Okonomiyaki!

Omi: Okonomiyaki, you say... Did you use up all the cabbages?

Citron: Not all, there are still some of them here.

Omi: Ah... They’ve all been cut already. What to do...

Izumi: What’s wrong?

Omi: I was thinking of making stuffed cabbage rolls for tonight’s dinner.

Izumi: EHH-!

Chikage: That’d be impossible to make with all these shredded cabbages.

Citron: Sorry, Omi~.

Omi: It’s alright. I’ll think of a different menu using the ingredients that we have now-.

Itaru: No, my mind and tongue are dying to eat cabbage rolls already.

Tsuzuru: Your rolls are really good after all.

Omi: But we’re out of cabbages...

Citron: I just remembered! The greengrocer old man said he got some good cabbages yesterday!

Sakuya: Then we might be able to make very tasty rolls if we use those!

Citron: Alright, let’s go to the grocery store and buy those cabbages~!

=====NOTES=====

[1] I ransacked my brain to do this one. I really like the original joke here but alas, it’s hard to keep it. Hopefully you can understand what I’m trying to explain here.

Citron originally wrote “ダジャレを言うのはダジャレ大作戦” or “dajare wo iu no wa dajare dai sakusen”, which translates to “Grand plan: Pun’s the one saying a pun”. What it should’ve been written is “ダジャレを言うのは誰じゃ大作戦” or “dajare wo iu no wa dare ja dai sakusen” which translates to “Grand plan: Who’s the one saying a pun?”.

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Citron's Channel (Tentative) - Part 3

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―Shopping District―

Itaru: ...It’s not like we need EVERYONE to go, do we?

Chikage: Walking around the shopping district should help you get some exercise.

Masumi: I’ll be the one to carry all your luggage.

Izumi: A lot of cabbages will be too heavy for one person to carry.

Elementary school kid A: Hey, it’s Citron!

Citron: Oh~, are you all back from school? Welcome back~!

Elementary school kid B: We’re back~!

Elementary school kid C: Let’s play games, Citron!

Citron: Sorry, we’ll do it next time because I’m going to the grocery store right now~.

Japanese sweets shop granny: Oh my, Citron-chan!

Citron: Hello~.

Japanese sweets shop granny: Good thing you came, I have some freshly made dangos here. Please take them with you.

Citron: Thank you!

Izumi: As always, you’re very popular.

🌸CHOICE 1: What’s the secret?

Izumi: You must have some kind of secret to being popular. Citron: I don’t have that! I just chat with everyone like normal. Madam A: Citron-chan always compliments me so I feel happy whenever we talked~. Citron: I’m just being honest~. Madam B: Of course we’ll be happy if a gentleman like you compliments us~. Citron: If I’m a gentleman, then both madams here are gentlewomen! Oh, was that the right word? Madams: Ahaha, you’re the best~! Izumi: (I think I saw a glimpse of the secret behind how he naturally attracts people...)

🌸CHOICE 2: You like everyone

Izumi: You really like everyone here, don’t you? Citron: I do! Everyone is very kind, so every day is fun~. Izumi: That’s great! It’s nice to have many people you like. Citron: Yeah! I like the madams, and the people from the neighbourhood association-. And especially everyone in the MANKAI Company. Izumi: Fufu, I see. Citron: ...And of course, I like you very much as well. Izumi: Thanks, I really like you too.

Fishmonger madam: Citron-chan, why don’t you come by our place today? I saved the best sweet shrimp for you.

Citron: As always, you’re so good at inviting people, madam~!

Itaru: He’s constantly being greeted by a lot of people as soon as we entered this place.

Sakuya: As expected from the prince of the shopping district!

Izumi: ...That’s it!

Sakuya: Eh?

Izumi: We should just take a video of him interacting with the people in town!

Chikage: I see. It’s a familiar sight to us, but it might look fresh to the people of Zahra.

Tsuzuru: A Japanese shopping district itself are rare, but it’s also rarer to see the sight of their prince blending in with the common people.

Sakuya: On top of that, they might be very happy to see him being loved even in another country as well!

Taiyaki shop owner: How about some taiyaki, Citron-kun?

Citron: I was craving something sweet earlier! Nice timing~!

Granny: I made a cushion of a pet that I saw from your photos before, Citron-chan. Do you like it?

Citron: Oh, Juliano...! It’s a spitting image!

Granny: I’m glad to hear that! I’ll give this one for you then!

Citron: Thank you~!

Izumi: (We finally arrived at the grocery store...!)

(But seems like we got enough footage to be used for the video.)

Citron: Old man~! I’ve come here to buy some cabbages!

Greengrocer old man: Welcome, Citron! Ya remembered that I got a lot of good ones, didn’t ya?

Citron: Of course!

Greengrocer old man: That makes me happy. A’ight, I’ll give ya the best one for free!

Citron: Thank you! As thanks, I’ll do a belly dance for you!

Izumi: W-wait a second, Citron-kun! I’m still recording, you know?!

Citron: I don’t mind! I want everyone in Zahra to see my belly dance too~!

Sakuya: Ah, Citron-san! Your shirt...!

Masumi: Is that good as thanks?

Greengrocer old man: Yer such a funny guy, Citron. Ah-ha-ha!

Itaru: ...He really likes it.

Chikage: Even so, a half-naked prince doing the belly dance would be an international issue.

Izumi: You’re right... We’ll cut this part out.

Citron: Oisa, oisa~!

Story Clear!

#a3!#a3! translation #meenatranslates #citron a3

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