#How I floundered through the mdzs fandom at first

[reileinaxiu]

How I became Anti Jiang Cheng/Wanyin and Anti Jiang in General

Fair warning/s:

Dramatic story sharing. MDZS meta that blur with some fanon pet peeves. Jiang family bashing (yup includes YZY, JWY, JFM, and even JYL). Lengthy story/experience sharing. Some cursing/foul language, okay a lot of cursing that I censored might have missed just in case. Some ranting I guess. And maybe some leaps in logic. Chaotic writing.

.

So long story short:

I've read a fic with the JC bashing tag, enjoyed it and browsed and read more content about it and I was thoroughly anti JC by the end of it all.

An example is

"All will be well when the day is done" by abCEE. If you haven't read it I recommend it if the Lan clan still hasn't been ruined in your eyes.

.

Long story not so short:

Okay as you all might know or not know, I was introduced to the MXTX fandom through a fanfic crossover and entered through the donghua.

When I watched the donghua I was sort of indifferent to the Jiang family as a whole. I thought YZY was just this super stern drill sergeant type of woman. Maybe unfair to WWX because of her own bias towards his heritage. JFM was this timid person in front of his wife who doesn't want to get into conflicts. JWY was this broken grieving person after the Lotus Pier Massacre. And JYL was this mother/sister role model that had an unfortunate end.

I did not like them(probably never will at this point), I did not hate them (I should have hated them more), thought they were developmental to WWX as a character (still true but for a completely different reasons). But that was it, they were characters that had fulfilled a role.

Oh what a foolish uninformed lamb 🐑 I was back then.🥲 The donghua did not even begin to skim the surface of it all. Or maybe it did in an artistic license type of view and it was the kind people on the internet who analyzed the story and the original work that just pointed out to me what was obvious now. 🤔

.

Thank yous especially to: @flautistsandpeonies ,

@jiaoji2 , @withthewindinherfootsteps , @ladypfenix, @ninjakk and many more that I might have missed or yet to discover. Your mxtx content are entertaining and enlightening.

And thank yous to your works on AO3: Hauntcats, Karmiya, FlautistsandPeonies, Vrischika, miixz, glitteringmoonlight, justdoityoufucker and many many more great writers out there.

I definitely 😁 recommend their works.

Their works and posts have opened my eyes. 👀 And many others who I might have missed.

.

This was how knowing more both ruined and saved my love for MDZS.

.

It started when I began delving for fanfic on ao3, after finishing the donghua. Naturally, I began with the fics with the most Kudos, so I set my filters with the most words or the most Kudos along with the WangXian tags (Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian).

.

Lo and behold one of the top fics at that time was a Jiang Wanyin centric time travel fic that I shall not name but bury deep within my reading history/bookmarks. I do not want to horrify you guys too much who are anti JC like me but the short synopsis was JWY travels back in time and fully supported WWX 🤢 throughout the Sunshot Campaign doing all the the things JGY pointed out in the Guanyin Temple incident getting a happy ever after of everyone lives(even JGY 😰) and noone dies(except mostly the Wen Sect not the Dafans) and JWY marries WQ 🤮.

Yes. I can't believe myself to have thought that was actually good. I got ulcers just thinking about it 🤢. What's worse 😱 is that I've read through several similar fics with JWY as a good brother, anger misunderstood trope and thought nothing of it at the time.

One of the worse of the worst were my ignorance when reading fics with side JWY/LXC tag.☣️🤮 If I knew I would have never touched any of these fics. But I absorbed the MDZS content through various media sources so my understanding was obscured at best and completely reconceptualized at worst. I hope my realization wasn't too late that I ended up reading about a homophobe in a same-sex relationship.

.

My poor ignorant self,😔 I forgive you for ever thinking any of those were acceptable homage to the masterpiece that is MDZS. Alas those fics in my read history will be part of a dark past that I might visit some day again only to treat it as the radioactive ☢️ toxic waste it truly should be handled as.

.

Don't get me wrong. It doesn't make any of those God awful plot devices better but at least those fics were still very entertaining and I appreciate all the work and effort the author had put in to writing them despite their uh...😦 misconstrued outlook on the actual canon personalities of the characters. Some of those fics were really long and well-written at least. So I find it a shame their great writing skills have gone in this direction.

.

Maybe 🤔 if I read those as extremely, extremely OOC then I guess they could be slightly acceptable. But till today there are plenty similar fic being written out there, and published everyday. I must sometimes cope by completely erasing JWY or any OOC Jiang from my mind whilst reading these types of mistagged fics. OOC JC tag should really be common so I can filter them out of my searches. I will always be grateful for ao3's sort and filter system.

.

Another, when exploring the fandom at first was that I was intrigued, amused and even confused 🤔 by all the controversy. On youtube, there were content creators fawning over JWY. So hey, I thought he seemed like a decently popular character.

.

Then someone pointed some things out to me and I was like " OMG 😱 What sort of deranged sick scum is this person and why the f*** out of all the villains that got their karma he still lives with a position of power".

.

Then I realized again after reading more mdzs meta, "Almost everyone in the Cultivation World except WangXian, the juniors(of every sect), WN, WQ, LQY and maybe NHS at some point are all corrupt assholes that deserve some sort of karma still lives with positions of power" 😱😱😱

.

So yeah. One of my problems when identifying good not OOC fanfics was because tags like the good sibling jc, yunmengbros reconciliation, etc.😖 was normalized by a lot of writers that other writers started referencing OOC fanfics as the true personality of those characters. That's why a newbie like me entering the fandom just binge read anything that was popular at the time and thought that it actually somehow corresponds to the original work. I am sometimes tempted to unsubscribe from certain MXTX content creators because they are JC stans. But I am conflicted cause they make really good WangXian content as well 😰.

.

For example:

Like when writers completely disregarding WWX's most important character traits to fit him into an OOC template @withthewindinherfootsteps discusses this very soundly and points out WWX's core philosophy. Writers have gone to create completely new characters and stamped them with the same name. They have lots of reblogs and discussion with this particular post

.

Maybe it's because I haven't read the entirety of the original work yet (I've only watched the donghua, the cql, followed the manhua, and skipping to favorite scene in thenovel translations) but further evidence pointed out by readers of the original work had thoroughly converted me. I do not commend any of the Jiang Family's treatment of WWX.

.

Feel free to skip to the rabbits if you prefer not to read some of these heavy criticisms about the Jiang Family and some cursing. Oh and maybe a bit of conspiracy theory meta.

.

.

.

Let's begin with this literal raging b*tch, YZY.

.

YZY was a child abuser, a hypocrite, and liar.

.

"What do you mean what do we do?! Can't you see yet? They came here prepared. Today's fight couldn't have been avoided. Soon afterward there'll be herds of those Wen-dog arriving. Leave first!"

"Shut your mouth! It's all because of you little...!"

-Exiled Rebel Scans Chapter Poisons (3)

.

These lines had been itching at me from the very beginning so... This was the Lotus Pier Massacre. A lot of others (particularly those who stan her) might think it was a sad heroic sacrificing moment as a mother that made a lot of people misconstrue YZY's true nature. She was neither self-sacrificing nor a mother.

.

She knew. She logically knew that the Wens were prepared and the fight couldn't have been avoided yet she still had the absolute gall to blame WWX of all the people present just because she can and just because she saw him beneath her. After punishing WWX herself as an act of 🤬 subservience to the Wen Clan she couldn't admit it that she herself was the one that escalated the entire situation to the Wen's advantage when WLJ taunted her about the supervisory office. She made everyone including the children to fight in that bloodbath just so her pride as a lady of a great sect remain unquestioned only saving her child and asking the disciple she abused mentally, emotionally and physically to give his life for JWY's sake. And look where it got her. If you ask me now, I'd say she totally deserved that humiliating death and WN should have left her and JFM's body to rot compared to my tragic first impressions.

.

JFM is as much as an abuser as YZY was. He was an abuser through neglect, and some form of exploitation. A lot of context clues lead to YZY regularly punishing WWX excessively. It's never really mentioned that JFM stopped any of these especially since it is most likely those punishments were handed indiscriminately without just cause other than YZY's hate for WWX.

Shown in the Lotus Pod Extra where it's only WWX who gets punished despite every other disciple doing the same thing. Punished with a whip a that!😨 And that was just an Everyday probably casual occurence in the summer.

.

The exploitation I have less evidence on that but from what I can understand (or don't) is that a disciple of a sect is more or less an employee and that they at least have some sort of regular stipend besides the facilities, housing and education given to them, otherwise why bother to become a cultivator of a sect when your financially challenged. I'm sure there's at least a few disciples who would send money back to their families because a cultivator's job has some monetary benefits that attracted them to Cultivation sects.

.

(Ps. Someone argue the flaws in my logic or support it with further evidence that you can find, I'd be grateful)

.

This isn't the case for WWX though. From the novel it was said that WWX explored the markets in Yunmeng and took whatever he pleased because the locals knew to send the bill to Lotus Pier and maybe he got an allowance that only equates to pocket money. It could be seen that he was well taken care of at least financially.

.

But from my point view its an indirect form of exploitation. This could be seen as WWX not having his own money to spend for himself making him monetarily dependant on the Jiangs generosity (which was barely existent). It made WWX all the more differentiated from the other disciples who were compensated for their rendered services. Especially since he was made the head disciple at such a young age he should have gotten a comparatively larger paycheck(ancient china payrolls) maybe even equal to the senior disciples because he takes on a teaching job.

When WWX was in the Burial Mounds with the Wens I don't think he had his own assets to claim and fall back on when JWY removed him from the sect. He was one of the key figures to victory in the Sunshot Campaign don't tell me he wasn't properly compensated for his contributions? If someone out there thinks that he gave his spoils of war to the Sect, then f*** the Jiang Clan, I call fraud and exploitation.

.

That's right folks! Lotus Pier was equivalent to a Japanese Black Company! Modern laws, on child labor and treatment addendums aside, at least in regards to WWX that is. Not only was WWX put to work in abhor conditions (abused; verbally and physically) he was also barely compensated, if not at all, for his services. YZY didn't make it any better siting unreasonable excuses of immeasurable debt that WWX took to heart. JWY also follows her mother's footsteps even when she died he also imposed this debt on WWX even when WWX already went above and beyond what stipulates on what a head disciple or even regular disciples owe to their sect. I could really care less how JFM didn't want to upset his wife or some other excuse, he is Sect Leader! He couldn't have not known what was going on. This has got to be some form of exploitation. 😡

.

I should write a separate post for all the things messed up about JWY. But to sum it up he expected WWX to abandon his moral code to pander to his sect leader position and Sect's reputation and leave to the Cultivation World's bloodlusts what was essentially a village full of civilians, children or weakened cultivators. He blamed WWX for JYL's death when he clearly witnessed what actually happened, it wasn't WWX who landed the killing blow(WWX even killed that stupid attacker the moment that happened, JWY saw that as well). He went on torturing to death anyone who slightly resembled WWX or was suspected of practicing unorthodox cultivation (keywords on slightly resembled and suspected never proven or justified) for years! Also hellbent on torturing and killing WWX in his second life by using his fears and guilt and that d*mn whip he inherited from his b**** of a mother. And he is an overall bitter and unpleasant character to be in the presence of. I could keep going on and on because there's a whole lot more and there is not enough words to describe how much of a terrible person he was by the end of the book.

.

Lastly, there is JYL. 🤨She wasn't very significant as the person WWX made her out to be. She wasn't a bad person but she also didn't make any strides to be better or do good. She always tried to make compromises but it was usually for the sake of others especially JWY and at the cost of WWX because she viewed him as being capable of carrying any burdens with a smile and not as a person that struggles or gets hurt by superficial or personal remarks. A peacemaker, timid like her father, avoiding conflicts instead of actually solving them. She claimed WWX a brother during the Phoenix Mountain Hunt and demanded an apology in the name of her sect but that all crumbled like a sandcastle on the beach and forgotten as dust in the wind when JZX confessed publicly and she secluded herself in her happy little married domestic life.😤 Either she was just an oblivious fool just like her husband and would have caused WWX's death by asking him to stand down when he was clearly being attacked or she really believed everything would go well if everyone calmed down or something. Or she was just incredibly gullible to the point of trusting her marital sect that repeatedly put down WWX. She is like LXC in this regard, and I have a lot of negatives and barely-there positives about him as well.

.

What frustrates me in fanfics with her in it is that she acts like both her marital sect or natal sect could never be in the wrong and that it should be WWX who should adjust is behavior when they were literally trying to kill him.

Is it appropriate to rant about other fics that pissed me off on tumblr? I won't cause it feels rude on some level.

Also I hate the line she said about WWX being born with a smiling face. That's like putting unrealistic expectations on WWX's head. Just because he can bare a lot of things with a smile doesn't mean he cannot get hurt? Newsflash putting up a smiling front is just one way WWX protected himself emotionally from all the rumors and vitriol from YZY. I know I'm being overly harsh but I can't help but feel infuriated. WWX is a strong person for putting up with the Jiang's bull****, horse****, dog**** whatever **** I can think of under the sun and still manages to be an inherently good person but that doesn't really justify everything that was done to him.

.

🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇

.

@righteousinadversity sums it up pretty well WWX's sufferings in life and a good chunk of that list is because of the Jiangs or could be traced back to the Jiangs.

If these realizations weren't enough to get me to go anti Jiang Family, I'd be wondering where my common sense went. I became extra wary of those fics tags with something like Good parent YZY & JFM🤬, Good sibling JC 🤮, Yunmengbros feels🙄, and a surprisingly eye watering amount of word vomit. 🤢

.

This doesn't mean I condemn all the fics out there that don't adhere to canon personalities even the ones I've already read. If the ficwriter was reasonable enough in writing a life altering event or tagging that the characters are going to act OOC. Then sure I might read a modern AU where JC is a reasonably less asshole of an adopted brother. Or an AU where the JWY and JYL try to makeup for their parents wrongs etc. I could probably stomach it with minimum nausea. Still doesn't mean I have to like it, I am just a poor deprived soul that seeks to consume as much mdzs media in my free time.😔

Although Post-canon fics where WWX or LWJ get along with JWY, 😑 yeah I'm drawing the lines where lines need to be drawn. I might make the time to delete a lot of bookmarks from my archives.

.

The only thing that saved my love for MDZS was WangXian and that speaks for itself because there's a lots of scummy characters (scummy as irl people, they were perfectly fine characters that drove the plot) and WangXian happens to overturn all those flaws because they are the exact opposite to such toxic relationships and toxic people. Plus just because I bash the Jiang Family so much doesn't mean I should stan WWX for the novelty of getting behind the hero or protecting a victim.

.

It's because WWX is genuinely a good person that I will stan him with all my squishy beating heart🫀!

.

He sees injustice and seeks to correct it. He had literal life costing wrongs done to him and he does not seek further resentment . He knows not to forgive and not to forget but also knows when to let go. And LWJ learned a lot from WWX and he became his moral compass. God 🤩 they are just so good together, good for each other, and good for everyone.🥲

May they forever ♾️❤️ be a happy couple.🥰

.

The rest of the trashy cultivators of the Cultivation World can get eaten by the Xuanwu for all I care. 🙄#turtlefood

I might get started about how I came to dislike the Lans in general or wished fiery deaths for most of Cultivation World. But that's for another time.

.

Is it hypocritic of me to continue reading these awful OOC Jiang fics? Maybe a little. 😐

Does it take me away from potentially great reads?

On my sane days I'd avoid them like WWX avoids dogs. If I'm feeling curious or just really hoping to find something fresh to read, I'd suck it up and pretend the poorly characterized Jiangs are florid mouthpieces used by the author that I can probably forget and ignore.😖

.

I think I have the same problem with Postcanon fics where WWX gets along with his in-laws. I read them ignorant of how the original work actually ended. Now I despair at how awful my reading history looks and I became very critical of the type of fanfics I presently enjoy.

.

Taking a page out of @FlautistandPeonies

Jiang family stans don't shit my post. I have literally tagged this anti-everything I can think of the first few lines were literally in big font titled "How I became anti JC"

Fellow mdzs meta readers come at me with gentle criticisms or discussions or comments (emphasis on gentle please 🥺, I'm a sensitive soul that easily loses confidence)

I got the courage to post this after reading a fic with YZY being her petty bitchy self. It was gloriously infuriating that I console myself with the WangXian ending. I might recommend that fic after it's gotten more chapters out (I don't want anyone getting conniptions from the cliffhanger) along with other anti Jiang Family fics.

#How I became anti jc #How I became anti jiang family #How I became anti cultivation world #mdzs #modaozushi #anti jc #anti yzy #anti jfm #anti jyl #anti jiang family #some lan sect bashing #How I floundered through the mdzs fandom at first #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Wei Wuxian's struggles #WangXian #I love wangxian so much 😭 #Dramatic story sharing #Long rant #mdzs meta #Mdzs fanon pet peeves #Some author and Tumblr user recommendations #am I hypocritic? Sometimes #Was some of the content hypocritic? probably #Point out my flaws in the conspiracy theories or add evidence #I'd be grateful either way #Fellow mdzs meta readers come at me with gentle criticisms or discussions or comments #Emojis are great and people should use them more often to highlight their words 🐱 #I got the courage to post this after reading a fic with YZY being her petty bitchy self #lots of cursing

[unequippedwit]

An Informal and Incomplete Essay on One Fangirl’s Feelings and Descent into Mo Dao Zu Shi

So, if you’ve even glanced at my blog of late you’ve noticed a lot of dolphin screeching in regards to a series called The Untamed/Chén Qíng Lìng/陈情令.  Or, something else called  Mó Dào Zǔ Shī/魔道祖师.  (Hint, they’re mostly sort of the same thing as The Untamed is MDZS’s live action drama with a whole ass stable of attractive).

Someone on my dash had done a recommendation list of things that they had watched and enjoyed and I made the glorious mistake of looking at the summary given, shrugged my shoulders, and said “Why not?”.  I proceeded to change my entire life simply by turning on my PS4, tap-tapping my way to YouTube, and settling my behind in my easy chair where the cat and my knitting proceeded to fight for space.

I’m not going to say how many hours total that I’ve spent to watching/listening to the various adaptations (the 50 episode drama, the 23 episodes released of the donghua, and the first season of the audio drama), or reading the manhua, or reading the OG novel, but, I am going to say it’s a lot.  Yes, I’ve calculated it and no I’m not telling.  Oh, hecking heck it is a lot.  And, considering that I’ve only really been into it since the beginning of August, well, even I’m impressed and I know how I can get in regards to hyper-fixation.  I’m so glad that I have also dragged my BFF along for the ride.

I can say with some confidence that a part of the reason why I have done a full sprint down into this magnificent madness, as I cackled with glee and mass binge postings of gorgeous fanart, memes, and Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan’s faces, is that I was semi-floundering in the MCU fandom and post-release of Endgame, even more so.  There had been a lingering sense of fatigue and this was needed.  The fandom, for all that it is a fandom with its own faults and no fandom ever escapes them, is refreshing and new and a joy in a way that the MCU has been missing for me for quite some time.

Now, as to what actually kept me engaged I’m going to cut, because there’s A LOT and it’s going to get long folks.  And a smidgen spoilery.

On the surface, the plot itself is simple.  A supernatural who-dunit and where-is-it, a large and eclectic cast of characters, with two main leads who fit the one goes by-the-book and other is a renegade trope to perfection.

Then the series actually starts with the MC’s horrorific violence filled death, a bunch of vicious gossip, and someone waking up in a body that sure the heck ain’t theirs.  Simple?  Not so much and that’s just the first chapter.

And, oh, god, the characters in this series are just everything little ol’ me could want.  Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have catapulted themselves to I STAN levels in my hierarchy of Favorite Fictional Characters and even secondary characters make me cry/scream/laugh/*insert every other emotion* on a level I haven’t experienced in a very long time.  I would die for Wen Ning, any version.

In this cast we get several sets of foils and a whole host of morally grey characters.  No one, with the possible exception of the Juniors in the present timeline, are not guilty of at least something.  Our protaganist, Sunshine Idiot Genius Hero Wei Wuxian has caused the death of 3000-5000 fellow cultivators, dug up countless graves, and risen the dead at a level that’s, well, not been seen by me in any sort of fictional setting that has necromancers.  Look, I like stories with necromancers.  He is also someone who doesn’t hesitate to do what is right, loves his family and his friends, and a lot of the above actions were in direct relation to him wanting to protect those that are precious to him.

With such a set of complicated characters I get a whole murderboard worthy set of complicated relationships and often complicated motiviations that make me want to cry tears of emotion.  Wait, no, backtrack that as there is no want, I have cried tears of various emotions as something else is discovered or thought about or I see someone giving me some good, good meta to chew on.  Yunmeng Twin Heroes being one potent source of me wailing, “MAH BABIES” while clutching at my face is a good example.  Jiang Cheng is such a misunderstood character.

Know what relationship is both complicated and not at the same time?  WangXian.  As in the relationship between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.  As in the romantic relationship between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.  As in these two Idiots wandered off and got married at the end of the novel and fucked by the side of the road for their first time and we learn that our strong and stoic Hanguang-Jun is one kinky motherfucker and Wei Wuxian is really that guy and doesn’t shut up during sexy times.  Considering that he doesn’t shut up during the rest of the time, it shouldn’t be that surprising, but, really, the man is missing a filter.  Look at the exasperated Xiao Zhan videos of The Untamed BTS where he’s complaining about the number of pages he has per scene.

But, it took time for them to get there.  It took years of hardship and anger and miscommunication and death, including Wei Wuxian’s in the beginning, to get them to the point that they are.  I won’t wax poetic about Lan Wangji, other’s who word better than I have already said so many good things about how he is fundamentally a Good Person and I won’t hear a bad word said about him and the fact that there a number of people who thought he was the villain in The Untamed for a good part of it make me cry for humanity.  Okay, I’ll wax a little poetically about him.  But, the man has his faults.  He’s not very verbal and that can and does cause problems, like leading to Wei Wuxian to believing that he hates him through most of their past, especially as they start hurtling towards the end of his first life.

I know I’m missing a lot, like how there is no true villain of the story other than people being at their worst and allowing that to lead so many of their actions.  But, really, I’m just going to go back to screaming about WangXian and sharing memes.  Oh, and a few recs because the writers in this fandom?  Fucking Aces all around.

<u>Fic Recs</u>

Five Times Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng Had a Civil Conversation, and One Time They Didn't by tabulaxrasa      Summary:  *Does what it says on the tin*Wei Wuxian's life is almost perfect now. There's just that one, angry, purple hole in it. If only there was some way to fix it.(There is. It's using their words.)     Reason I love it:  The relationship between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian is almost as important to me as the the one between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji and this gives me hope that there is a future for the two of them at the end of the novel.  That things can get better, never back to the way that it was because too much has happened, but they can reach a Good Place and that’s everything really.

Monotone by Seredemia

    Summary: Wei Wuxian died. Wei Wuxian died and he never came back, not after thirteen years, or a hundred, or a thousand. The year is 2019 and Lan Wangji is still here, having reached the highest point of cultivation that has gifted him with immortality. It's supposed to be a gift, an honour, yet to him it's nothing but a curse.

Wei Wuxian is dead, and life is colourless. Lan Wangji ghosts through time, simply living each day in monotone.

That is, until he meets a man who has the same face, same name, same smile as Wei Wuxian. Suddenly, there's colour and hope back in his life—but it's not long until he realises Wei Wuxian in this timeline has not escaped the sorrow that plagued his past self.

Maybe history really does repeat itself after all.

     Reason I love it:  It’s epic.  Not only in length, but in how everything is put together.  The past parallels the future in all the right ways with certain things coming together to make me cry happy tears as I clutch my cat in my arms.  And, let’s not forget Lan Wangji and his haircut.

Perfectly Arranged by Mondengel

     Summary:  Three nights before his wedding to an omega from Yunmeng, Lan Wangji meets Wei Yuandao.

     Reason I love it:  I have a fondness for ABO.  I’ve long stopped being ashamed of my enjoyment of it and I love even more when I find an ABO that gives me arranged marriages that stay so true to the characters.  Even just this little slice of life, gives us something close to the actual meeting of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian and it makes me so happy that their happiness is well and truly implied at the end of this.

Now, there about a thousand other things to be read that one should when it comes to this fandom, I’ve only thrown a few grains of rice to show what has been feeding my appetite, but, no seriously.  The fic is so good guys.  I think I’m actually going to start throwing up recs on the regular because gaaaaahhhhh and I’m going to go read some now that I’m done word vomiting.

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #fic recs #jess watches things #fandom #this is the longest thing I have written in a long time #of course it's going to be on this fandom #because it hits all my english major buttons so dang hard #my professors would weep at my lack of proper essay format #suck it professors