#I don’t think I’m a concert person

[eatyourdamnpears]

I’ve been in such a funk since the concert. I’m not even sure I enjoyed myself that much. maybe I did. I don’t know

#I don’t think I’m a concert person #parts of it were fun but parts of it were like …I’d rather be in bed right now and watching clips of this off tiktok #isn’t post-concert blues a thing? right? it’s a thing? #all I know is I feel really shitty and all I want to do is cry about it

[trvbblemaker]

ALEC BENJAMIN IS TOURING AGAIN AND HES COMING TO MY TOWN AGAIN 🎉🎉🎉🎉

#i just rlly hope my friends parents let her go bc she thinks they won’t bc she’s seeing a concert in may already #but i don’t wanna go alone bc she’s the only person i know who likes him #but i’ll be fine if i do have to go alone #i’m just so excited he’s coming back!!! he was my first concert and it was so fantastic #alec benjamin #music #toby talks

[bandzboy]

i will say this tho… the reason why most kpop groups don’t come to europe is because in comparison to maybe the usa, the market for kpop music there is better than in europe and also since companies nowadays are obsessed with making groups international (promoting them in the us basically) they know it’s easy money over there honestly that’s what i think

#not saying that in europe there aren’t kpop fans #which there are #i would say there are a lot in france and spain and perhaps italy?? #but like when they quote on quote tour europe they only go to those countries #and in hindsight the tour ends up being small and there’s not that much profit #compared to what the us brings tbh #i hate to admit it but it’s true lol #the music industry like the western one mainly happens in america #and when groups tour there’s no doubt they will go there #there’s also that guarantee #but also what i don’t get is how they don’t go to south america #when especially brazil has a lot of kpop fans??? #i feel like south america has a lot of kpop stans especially in recent years #but all of this to say that yes it’s a good decision #i don’t think it is lmao #i never went to a concert bc of travel costs #when tours happen in europe is never in portugal so #the closest thing i have is spain or france #but that’s too much money for an average person like me #so i am not abt to make that awful financial decision #as much i want to see my fave groups #but it’s true that kpop is international #and is getting more and more international #and companies don’t do tours outside of the us #and i’m not talk about asia bc of they tour in asia that is a given #i mean outside of asia they only go to america #and MAYBE … very rarely… five european countries #anyways this is getting long but you get what i mean #it’s sad that a lot of people don’t get opportunities for many reasons #tris.txt

[mikesbasementbeets]

bought tickets to see live music for first time in about two years life is ok again maybe

#it’s an artist i really love too and it’s right in my town at 3pm on a saturday which if you know my sleep schedule is. ideal #i’m not even that much of a live music/concerts/events type of person but i think it’s going to be very good and i’m looking forward to it #i always miss out when artists come to me town bc i’m out of the loop and/or forget to buy tickets in time #my town* #but i did it and it’s in two weeks. and im happy #i still don’t want to do the work today but we’re getting through it #beets posts

[bisexualseraphim]

Me, struggling to maintain my principles that hating on straight people is more harmful to our community than helpful, when I see videos of young straight girls screaming MOTHER IS MOTHERING at Mitski shows:

#‘But how do you know they’re straight’ good point. However #From my own personal experience it’s straight girls who think they’re allies because they watch RPDR who act this way #Most often anyway #Either way whether you’re queer or straight #Let’s save that shit for drag shows yeah? #People kept doing it at Ethel Cain too and it irritated the shit out of me #No wonder she’s off most social media now and hates touring lmao #Time and fucking place people #Drag shows: have at it. Quiet intimate concert: shut the fuck up #The entitlement. The lack of concert etiquette. What the fuck happened??? #Every day I feel myself turning more into a bitter old gay because the young uns don’t make life easy for me #And they’re not even that much younger than me lmao #People don’t act this way at Iron Maiden I’m just saying #Anyway. Must. Stick. To principles… #might delete later #personal #rant #vent #mitski #ethel cain

[ishipmutualrespect]

-

#anon I don’t feel like I’m wasting any time #I’m sorry if you feel that way but I’m not #not a bit #I’m not here waiting for them to come out #I’m here to support them #BOTH #for their musics and for their personalities and for them as a couple #if they ever feel like coming out I hope they can do it when they want and the way they want and I will be happy for them #if that is in 6 months (which honestly I don’t believe at all #not in 6 months #not in 1 year #not in 2 years #maybe in 10 years? #who knows #I’ll be here like I am now and I will be happy #I don’t have any rush and I don’t think they have either #I’m here since 5 years and I’m happy whe new music comes #or to just ser new pictures of them #or to enjoy watching concerts #make funny posts #read interesting posts #learning new things #having fun as well #the most important thing in my opinion is to be here for what makes you happy and not listen to others telling how you have to be here or to #live your own experience #just curate your dash with the people you love and makes you the happiest #no one forces anyone to keep doing anything #if it makes you happy do it #if it doesn’t maybe take a break and come back whenever it suits you the best #I hope I answered your question

[bo0zey]

saw mcr in chicago last night and it was literally so traumatizing that i couldn’t even enjoy the show or be happy i deadass hate you psycho animalistic band wagon ass idiot mfs so much thanks for ruining my one chance at seeing and hearing and experiencing my saviors of 10+ years. the band that kept me alive by providing me the emotional stability childhood me needed when everyone else around her was dying and made her feel like giving up too. the one chance i expected to feel the most alive i ever have ended up with me feeling so fucking dead and numb inside. the band whose songs literally filled my lungs with the air i needed to stay alive. and an hour before i was supposed to see mcr you selfish stupid idiots crushed my ribcage and stole all the oxygen i’d been saving for 7 hours standing in that crowd. you crushed my ribcage to the point it couldn’t fully expand and i physically could not inhale or exhale. you crushed me until my descending colon pressed against my equally taut and ungiving abdominal aorta and occluded it until i was physiologically unable to get fresh oxygen to my brain. i was a mere 12 inches and 1 hour away from seeing my band when you stupid senseless fucks ruined everything for me. i was ripped from the barrier and left in an oxygen-deprived mental fog for their entire set. i couldn’t even mouth the words to their songs from 50000000 feet away because the action hurt my ribs and diaphragm too much. god forbid i try to sing along without becoming lightheaded and nauseous because my body was so physiologically traumatized that even breathing without anyone pressed up against me had become painful. i was left in a dissociated state from being pulled out of the crowd until i got home. i couldn’t even drink water because my diaphragm and abdominal organs and aorta were still so traumatized and inflamed it hurt to have anything else inside to add to the excess pressure. i stood like a statue almost their entire set. i felt zero happiness, only immense sadness. i was so numb and dissociated while standing there in the middle of the concert watching the screen and listening to each song that the only thing i could feel were the nonstop flow of tears running down my face at the realization of the horror of it all. at some points i couldn’t even hear the actual music. the only thing i could hear was gerard’s words, as if he were speaking directly to me and it was the only thing keeping me present and grounded and somewhat connected to my body. and do you know????how it feels????? to feel fucking dead inside even though your body’s physically there alive in the same moment as the band that had given you so much life as a kid when you felt like you were dying???? and to just stand there surrounded by a crowd of 50000 people and feel deader than ever??? their music couldn’t even bring me out of this physically traumatized state and just made the emotional trauma exponentiate. i am so heartbroken and feel so defeated and let down and purposeless all over again. i will never have an opportunity like that again and it’s such a fucking hard thing to swallow knowing i couldn’t give my inner child her one chance to be that child again, to feel saved and alive and in love with this beautiful thing life has to offer. i hate all 50000 of you and most of all i hate myself for not being physically strong enough to withstand the physical abuse of that crowd. in conclusion thank u for ruining mcr for me and btw if u have a chance pls go get fucked.

#also don’t bother bitching at me in my ask box abt this Nothing abt crushing someone to death is okay #like that person at travis scott’s concert who get crushed against the barrier and died???? fucking ridiculous #gerard had to stop between every fucking song and tell people to step back from each other #between every song dozens of people were being pulled out of the crowd onto stretchers to the medical tent #even the fucking production guy had to come on stage n tell the crowd they needed to step back or else he ‘can’t let the band back out here’ #like they probably had to cut like 2-3 songs cuz so much time was wasted telling everyone to stop fuckjng killing each other #i won’t even bother going into how horrible this was on my emotional state bc no one would care to understand #mcr was the one thing that gave my life consistency and stability and a chance to feel safe being alive #they saved what little i had left of my childhood. and now i feel like i lost everything #at one point in my life their music even their solo projects every lyric was the only happiness i had #and seeing them live i couldn’t even feel happy. do u know how shitty that feels??? #i’m scared to listen to their music now bc i’m scared i’m just gonna breakdown crying all over again bc i was so close to exerpiencing them #i was so close to being alive and in the flesh with my 4 saving graces and then i was left alone #idc if u think i’m being dramatic u don’t understand how much this moment meant to me #there’s nothing stopping me from reaching club 27 now lol. cuz they’ll never come back again. i have nothing to wait around n stay alive for #also i was supposed to take the pics to remake the mcr returns from the war post but i couldn’t cuz i fainted n got pulled out of the crowd #lollllll life is so silly n funny #ramblings

[spacemancharisma]

was completely burnt out from work but hauled my ass to the ajj concert anyway and I’m so fucking glad I did oh my god I’m so excited

#anyway reminder that if you’re disabled and you think a mobility aid would help you even Sometimes- you should do it #having a wheelchair is the only reason I can physically be present at this concert but also the only way i’m not having a complete meltdown #because I’m not adding to my fatigue by standing for hours- especially in the heat #so yeah- even if you don’t need it all the time #if you think it would benefit you to have crutches/cane/wheelchair- do it!! #personal

[milo-is-rambling]

Me when I want to be wanted more than anything else

#I think I’d be more normal if I had more friends but every friend I lose makes me isolate more and more and now it’s like I can only trust #people I’ve interacted with for years already #and then every time I try to make friends I either don’t respond (anxiety. not feeling a vibe. whatever) or they stop responding when I #actually like them (someone who talked to me for like four days in an row and then randomly blocked me no explanation) #I think if I made more friends or even talked to more people I’d understand how to do it successfully but I don’t have enough experience and #no one wants to be friends with me (and it’s scary when they do!!!) wahhhhhhhhhh #I need to move somewhere new and talk to strangers I’m good at that #I made more friends a a concert age 14 than I have from me the ages of 16-19 and i think that’s ridiculous #how do I explain to everyone ever that nothing bad happened to me I’m just mentally ill bc my hormones are fucked and it’s let me to spiral #and ruin my own life and then slowly painfully build my life back up and then crush it all again over and over again for years and years #to the point where I’m afraid I’ll never amount to anything so the idea of ever truly having people who find any value for me in their lives #feels like it’s fake and then when I do finally trust people I end up loving too hard and fucking it up and then I isolate for even longer #it’s takes me twice as long to find a new friend and trust them again and then it happens all over again #it feels like I’m destined to be alone bc I can’t tell the difference between platonic shit and flirting so I have a wall between me and #everyone else bc I’m afraid to like someone too much and confuse my brain bc I don’t ever want to like someone who doesn’t like me even if #it’s as friends bc I’ve put more effort in than other ppl always but it’s bc I put too much effort in and expect too much and no one else #is as weirdly obsessive and clingy and dedicated as I am bc I’m not normal and that’s why no one likes me bc I try too hard or not at all #and it makes everyone in my life family friends crushes whatever hate me bc I’m all or nothing forever I can’t just be normal #I think a lifetime of living with my mother has permanently damaged the way I see myself #who are all these normal ideal people in my brain why did my mother put them there and why will I always be worse than a hypothetical person #designed to shame me for struggling which gets louder the more I struggle #spirals cycles etc etc etc #ugh. I want my brain to turn off I’m gonna go take a dab and maybe delete this later

[cloneboywonder]

im so CWCcoded

#anyway my apologies for gaslighting you all about not personal diary posting bc my dad just texted me goodnight and it made me sad #him and my mom both tried to call me all day I feel bad when I ignore them #bc I know they’ll be dead someday and they won’t be able to call me and I won’t be able to answer #and my brothers both tried to call me I know my mom narced that I was weird yesterday and now everyones scrambling to keep track of me #it’s very nice of them but I really do hate being reminded that I’m the family member that like #they’ve all quietly agreed is always going to have to be monitored and taken care of #I wouldn’t be surprised if Andy and Alex haven’t talked about who I’m going to going to live by when our parents are both gone #it was kind of funny Andy invited me to like go install a security camera with him today #I said no but I do think it could’ve been a fun experince #I was gonna see my mom but she didn’t want to go out again so I waited around until my dad tried to call me again #so then be brought me with him to a hardware store where he tried (and failed) to return paint or something #we love a schemer #and then we picked up Andy and got milkshakes but I was ill so he got me real food on the way home #but I’m going to have to find a way to throw it out tomorrow bc I didn’t eat that much of it and I don’t want him to be sad about it #and I have to clean my room bc Lydia will be here soon #I was weepy in the car and my dad kept saying it’s nice you’ll get a few days with her before the concert #I know :-( #to some extent I love that he’s so incapable of handling emotional moods bc he just puts on songs and complains about them #bc he knows I like to complain and I think he gets scared when I don’t talk and that’s his attempt at getting me to #I need to finish my costume and make bracelets and clean my room these seem doable #okay bye please don’t unfollow me #also I love the name doxing bc these are for me and me only and maybe burke when he logs on I love you #my posts

[caramiaaddio]

I sobbed at work today. Gave a courtesy call to a parent and they just screamed and screamed and told me all these horrible things and just…god. I get triggered when people even just raise their voice so that full on screaming and berating was fucking rough. I just wanted to work with kids I didn’t sign up for revisiting childhood trauma as some random stranger yells at me

#it just hurts man #I’m not answering parent calls anymore #or calling them at all #and now I’m so scared about the concert #what if people yell at me in person? how am I supposed to handle that? #shits just hard #talked to a coworker about it and she said that somewhere along the line teachers became the enemy #that it’s not me parents just…don’t trust education #every day I think about finland. why can’t we follow their example #how did I get into a profession that’s somehow universally hated now?? teacher appreciation day isn’t enough to handle this #they tell you it’s about helping kids grow but you’re really just signing up to be an overworked punching bag #no wonder so many teachers throw in the towel #we’re not customer service reps none of us signed up to handle this shut #at least other jobs when you cry at work you can put your head down #idk I love teaching but god I just. it fucking hurts and it’s so scary

[brutal-out-here]

Not me saying just yesterday that no artists come to New Orleans and then me finding out boygenius will be here on June 10th

Edit: not Waterparks too💀

#raineyrambles #boygenius #see the thing is that there’s absolutely no way I could go for multiple reasons #1. that I don’t want to be the person who goes to someone’s concert when they barely know them #2. I’d have to go with one of my parents and that is in no way ever going to happen lol #the day I can go somewhere with only like a friend will be the day I have reached full potential #this makes me sound like I’m 14- please do not think I’m 14 #the way that once I get to college I will be making an effort into getting someone there to come with me to shows #I already have one friend who likes driving so I’m one step ahead lol #edit: I genuinely haven’t listened to waterparks in over a year but I did have a small phase of listening to them

[waugh-bao]

*

#I’m such a bad person #so most days I use the gym at my university #rather than the one in my apartment building #because it’s bigger and better equipped #depending upon the time of day you go #the clientele can skew pretty elderly #(which is great. people of all ages should totally feel comfortable working out) #I think it’s mostly retired professors and that sort of thing #picture a lot of older/old men strolling on a treadmill in chinos and a sweater and you’ve got the picture #anyway #the way the treadmills are positioned #you can see pretty easily what the person next to you is watching #if they have their phone on the holder #well today when I was running the guy walking on the treadmill next to me (probably in his 70s) kept staring at me #I couldn’t figure out why #and then I realized he was glancing between my phone and me #(I’m in my early 20s and look like a first year undergrad) #because I was watching an old Dave Brubeck performance #I don’t think he was trying to be judgmental or anything he was just confused #but I’m used to getting confused looks at jazz clubs and baroque concerts and stuff #(I once had a man tell me at a Gilad Atmoz show in London. ‘I would have invited you to sit with me b/c you were all alone. but I thought #you were probably waiting for your dad or your boyfriend.’) #so I decided to mess with him a little #and started going backwards in time/obscurity with what I was watching/listening to #until I had 3 miles and was ready to get off and I was watching Baby Dodds drumming in the 1920s #the guy looked like his eyes were going to fall out of his head #gonna say the life lesson here is that I shouldn’t be allowed around the public in any capacity #not the stones #me stuff

[roseliatea26]

Taking social cluelessness to a new level. Currently googling how to text people and how to act natural at concerts

I’m not good with people

#one of the downsides of autism #I don’t understand social situations #I know most people don’t use tone indicators when texting but I basically require them but I’ve know this person since I was 10 weeks old #and they don’t know about my diagnosis so it feels awkward to tell them that I need the #to start texting in a different way #also trying to make it sound like I’m enthusiastic but not too enthusiastic that it’s creepy and not too little to the point where it’s dry #if we talk irl and you think I’m a dry texter now you know why! #also concerts #how do you act at one #I’m going with a friend but they’re also on the spectrum so it’s not like I can copy of them #and basically everyone who likes this band is also autistic so basically I have no neurotypical people to copy #aahagaggaagagaggafagagagafaahaggaha #WHY DO PEOPLE EXIST AND WHY ISBT THERE ALSO I LITTLE ‘HOW TO’ GUIDE FOR LITTERALLY EVERY SOCISL AIRUATION #AND DONT SAU GOOGLE BECUASE IT ISNT HELPFUL #OKAY #rant over #sorry anyone who ends up reading all of this

[kareenvorbarra]

there has got to be SOMEONE in this town who wants to sing early music with me and isn’t completely out of my league

#i want to join a choir that does mostly early music but there isn’t one in my city #and i don’t really have the training or the contacts to start one #the problem is I have a lot more formal musical training than the average person but a lot less than the average working classical musician #i have some very tenuous connections in the local scene but i’m garbage at networking and have not been keeping my hand in #didn’t help that all the choirs stopped rehearsing for a few years!!! but I also have not made any effort to get back into it #i just don’t want to sing contemporary choral music all the time…I want more than crumbs #sighs. every time I go to see a concert I get all nostalgic for the times I was performing #it’s so easy to regret not studying music more seriously in college but my initial attempts didn’t pan out #and I didn’t have my shit together enough to pursue it once I had started down a different path #sometimes I think maybe if I had wanted it more I would have tried harder? idk. i know I have the benefit of hindsight now #going back to school for something that impractical is not really an option at this point even if I wanted to go back to school #real life adventures

[faeparrish]

i always feel like i’m still mentally 16-18 but then i’ll see teenagers interacting with each other and it’s suddenly clear that I’ve grown a lot since then

#me and my gf went to see mitski last night (it was an insane performance) and it felt like we were the oldest people in the crowd lmao #there was a group of girls and most of them were 15-17 but one of them was 18 and she kept talking about how she’s an adult #but she and the rest of them were screaming crying and yelling like teenagers the whole concert #which is like yeah that’s what teenagers do lmao go scream and be a little bit annoying at your favourite artists show #it was just funny to witness because i’m not around teenagers anymore like all my siblings are in their 20s now #i forgot how far away i actually am from that now and i’m so glad of it #mitski is one of my favourite artists ever and we had to plan around everything to get to that concert #and when she was performing these girls were losing their minds and me and my gf were just 👩🏻‍❤️‍👩🏻 and :-) #not that we don’t like her any less i think if i was a teenager again i would also be outwardly losing my mind too #but at this point i’m like this is a really intelligent performer who is also just a regular person and i really enjoy her art #idk it’s just a funny observation literally no shade to teenagers losing their minds at concerts bc we’ve all been there #i just remembered that i’m not that age anymore! i’ve gone from idolising her as a teen to really just appreciating her art as an adult #anyway! it was a very good concert and i am still in shock that i finally managed to get to see her perform