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v-a-l · 8 months

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My favourite detail in OOTP is when Harry finds Sirius at the dining hall Crookshanks is curled up in his lap. Like he’s surrounded by people screaming at him about “Dumbledore’s instructions”, not allowed to go outside cause the ministry and Death Eaters are gunning for him, he’s being called irresponsible and reckless and he’s brushing it all aside cause boy does he know how to deal with people screaming at him in this house, any regardless: he’s still got Crookshanks. He’s got Buckbeak and they remain Sirius’ first and last line of defence

Harry felt something brush against his knees and started, but it was only Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped onto Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absentmindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry.

Harry did not mention his vague suspicions to Sirius, whose cheerfulness was evaporating fast now that Christmas was over. As the date of their departure back to Hogwarts drew nearer, he became more and more prone to what Mrs. Weasley called “fits of the sullens,” in which he would become taciturn and grumpy, often withdrawing to Buckbeak’s room for hours at a time. His gloom seeped through the house, oozing under doorways like some noxious gas, so that all of them became infected by it.

#Sirius Black #one day I’ll write a thesis about the constant ableist language used to address Sirius in OOTP #one day we’ll talk about JKR passing judgement on trauma and coping with it through fifteen year old Hermione #one day I’ll talk about how OOTP is so severely unempathetic to Sirius #It’ll forever remain ridiculous to me that Sirius of all people is the story’s biggest example of tell don’t show. he’s not irresponsible #he’s not selfish #yet we’re told so #again and again #by Molly and Hermione #and it’s consistently in a patronising arrogant way from people who could not even hope to understand what he’s been through #I think it’s particularly telling that no one offers to HELP Sirius. to do anything. in OOTP #JKR’s ableism in her language and connotations with the way people speak of Sirius says So Much #her tell don’t show works consistently against her in that the narrative validates Sirius.#in the end he is right. but it doesn’t matter anymore cause he’s dead

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ofmd-renewed-yet · 2 years

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haha why is…. why is it wrecked david??

#i don’t understand anything anymore #im so in love w the two mermaids tho #ofmd #our flag means death #hbo max #ofmd s2 #david jenkins #ofmd season 2 #ofmd season 2 flag #twitter #ofmd renewed yet

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poppyseed799 · 6 months

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btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.

#warning: don’t open up these tags I went on a very heated and rather unrelated rant cuz I’ve been mad #trafficblr #life series #secret life spoilers #secret life smp #jimmy solidarity #also I’m sick of seeing ppl celebrate Jimmy surviving because they hate the canary curse fans like SHUT UP!!! LET US HAVE FUN GOD!!!#LIKE LITERALLY EVEN IF NOBODY CAME UP WITH THE CANARY METAPHOR WE WOULD STILL BE TALKING ABOUT HOW HES ALWAYS DYING OK WE DIDNT MAKE UP THAT #HE DIES FIRST HE JUST DOES. GOD. so what if some people make shakespeare sounding posts about the curse that I don’t understand. we are JUST #having fun and making connections where we don’t need to BECAUSE ITS FUN. NOT CUZ WE DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. sorry for the past few #days I’ve been genuinely mad at this fandom’s growing hatred towards its own community.#LIKE IM FINE IF ITS NOT YOUR THING BUT GOD. WE ARENT EVEN DOING ANYTHING 😭😭😭 THE LORE LITERALLY WRITES ITSELF OR IS WRITTEN BY MARTYN LOL #I’ve just been getting SO TILTED man. like ohhh yeah okay ur right i said too much guess I won’t say anything anymore #does anyone else genuinely not know wtf ppl are talking about when they say a certain hc takes over everything about the character #cuz I literally see so much varied Jimmy content yet I’ve seen several ppl complain that ppl ignore aspects of his character in favor of #WHATEVER when I literally don’t see that happening to him. step out of ur circle or something I don’t even HAVE a circle man

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tabithatwo · 1 year

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Saying that someone not liking elements of something means they want a happy ending or are anti tragedy or anti twisted shit is mmmm a big old logical leap!! I guess some people watch yellowjackets and don’t want tragedy but uhhh idk I have yet to see them have yellowjackets obsessions (not saying it isn’t possible just! seems very much less common!)

I (and many other people who didn’t like elements of this season or it’s approach to shit) gobbled the tragedy the fuck up s1! I was actually sitting at the proverbial table banging my proverbial knife and fork with a proverbial empty plate for the first half of s2 chanting fuck it up, fuck it up, fuck it up!

People having narrative critiques of HOW they did dark shit are not automatically ANTI dark shit lmao like I actually think that the reason much of it doesn’t hit for me personally is the lack of agency/the accidental nature of the tragedies. Like. I want more fucked up shit ACTUALLY. I want tragedy that doesn’t feel corny as fuck in execution. You can very much hate the way nats death and the hunts etc etc were done BECAUSE you don’t feel like they executed the level of psychological horror s1 promised! Also you can love it! Or you can be in between! Or you can not care! But like consolidating any criticism of unhappy story lines with doesn’t like dark shit is a wild oversimplification.

I know people feel reactive and defensive of things they love!! But it’s okay to not agree with someone’s take and ignore it. It’s also okay to engage with it! But like, dismissing any criticism with a weird idk you people don’t like/understand horror/sad shit party line is the worst kind of engaging, because you’re not actually engaging you’re just going out of your way to dismiss without taking what they’re really saying into account!

#I am so tired! I have barely even discussed it yet and people are in the asks like <3 you don’t UNDERSTAND you want a happy ending! <3 #I actually! do not! want a happy ending lol like at all! my favorite story was adult shauna grieving jackie I promise I like tragedy!#I want them to do WORSE things INTENTIONALLY!#and idk where in anything I’ve ever said you get that I want things to be nice and sweet and not horror lmao #so that tells me MAYBE you’re engaging without actually engaging!#not everyone has to agree with you and you don’t have to do some weird logical fallacy jumping jacks to make them Obsolete somehow lol #yellowjackets

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autistic-katara · 2 months

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there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse #yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like #seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under #the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u #less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it #for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism #like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci #sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be #voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her #and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten #hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting #bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right #oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags-#it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it #this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so #cw self harm in tags #idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭#fanfic #ao3 #ryan shut the fuck up

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shadowedvales · 1 month

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so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.

eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.

i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.

when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.

when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.

i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.

also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.

#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#THINKING THOUGHTS. i have had this concept in mind for a while but i THINK i’ve fleshed it out properly now.#will write this up properly one day (never).#although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon #he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge.#AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me.#saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family.#brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was #and there’s absolutely no sympathy there.#and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her #regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and #mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not.#and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives.#also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following #the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have #killed some innocent people.#just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna.#in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and #was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry.#BUT YES.#this be the new canon. <3 #idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 1 year

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sometimes you read something for a fandom you were crazy over years ago and you encounter one of the ships you loved back then and you just think “yeahhhh…. this is still great :) way to go younger me you were so based about this actually :)”

#anyway I still care a lot about Obitine apparently #their respective commitment to their respective ideals and moral codes… the way they love each other more than life #(literally. they’re so willing to die for each other.)#and yet that never leads them to violate who they /are/ or who the other person is #Satine is willing to never see him again rather than ask him to leave the Order. he is willing to leave the Order all she has to do is ask #they are able to rest in their love for one another bc they know the other loves them in such a way that they would never ask #for their compromise #idk this makes very little sense it’s 2 a.m. I’m delirious I have church in the morning but I wanna rewatch some Clone Wars now #hfhfhfhhdhdhdhehdhdhdhfbbdsjsjfhfj #gurt says stuff #edit: wait actually this is so funny—bc I just realized that Din Djarin and Obi-Wan are quite similar in a lot of ways #so the parallels here are incredibly funny to me for some reason. the Kryze women just have a Thing for reserved men who are #completely devoted to their religious values and would do practically anything for their adopted family huh #(ftr I don’t know if I ship DinBo or not but I do understand the appeal and I am open to the possibility of the writers play it right #still bitter about losing Cara tho. bc I was SO curious to see how Misters Filoni and Favreau were going to develop that #n I had a vague suspicion based on my knowledge of how Filonis brain and stories work that ~something~ may have been meant to happen there)

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flameandignite · 7 months

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#struggling a lot lately with not knowing where i stand in my social circles #there’s an irl friend group i’m part of but they’re more like friends of friends and i have very little in common with them #can’t hold a conversation with normal people bc my experiences are not normal experiences #so i usually just lurk quietly while everyone talks and live vicariously through their fun i guess #i’m a lot more comfortable in online fandom but even here it’s like #i’m not smart enough for meta/analysis i’m not a fanfic writer and my art is like…fine but nothing special i think #and yet my friends tell me they love me and i believe it but i don’t understand it #i’m too empty to offer anything greater than words of support and encouragement #which i suppose are important too. but it never feels like it’s Enough #like i’m enough. and i know that nobody else thinks that except myself but nobody knows me as well as myself

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shadowedvales-a · 10 months

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so… in the extra canon of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead. because,

brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” aka eleven. eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

i just think the whole rainbow room, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth.

i genuinely thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable.

although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting. maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this instance, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.

when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, he had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

i still do wanna keep the henry canon, and he could easily still be 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.

although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon, he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge. AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me. jane telling him that brenner hurt him, made him what he was etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family. in this one instance, brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he was. so jane always saw him for exactly who he was, and there’s absolutely no sympathy there.

#⅋. [ ✦ ] ﹕ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal ‚ study .#long post /#and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her #regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and #mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not.#and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives.#also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following #the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have #killed some innocent people.#just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna.#in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and #was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry.#BUT YES.#this be the new canon. <3 #idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.

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tutuandscoot · 1 year

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youtube

This has got to be some of the most raw, emotionally beautiful practice footage there is of them. Is it even a practice? or is it a performance? or is it the most human, physical visualisation of two intrinsically connected souls communicating with each other??? I honestly don’t know, but I love it.

I’m the first to justify literally everything they do that seems unconventional for a supposed platonic relationship with the basic facts of the work and care they put into building trust and respect. But the amazing thing about what they do is you can not know all that, or know it all and just ignore it and watch them dance. Believe whatever you want to believe-whatever story they themselves are seemingly entranced in.. so let’s do that this time.

The way she falls on that 4th piano key. A legitimate trust fall- she falls so far off before he makes contact with her. The actual reaction in both of them, feeling the heavy weight of struggles they are navigating. How once she falls and he takes her weight, that causes his blades to slide open and back, his head inclined to look at her as if there’s nothing he can do but carry her through her pain.

The dynamics of the first lift. I’ll confidently say their lifts are so stunning because T is doing so much more work than any other girl does in lifts, she literally initiates the whole thing with her momentum, then the almost, stormy ocean current-like shifts in dynamics between the spin to her throwing and almost falling again back in his arms to again thrown up over his shoulders.. but it happens so seamlessly because they are both so strong.

The freaking dancing in their circle step sequence.. I don’t give two fucks about the skating they are doing- I know it’s amazing and I have all the respect in the world for them as technically brilliant skaters, but the skating is the blade in contact with the ice, above that, and the way they skate.. they are dancing. They are Ice. Dancing. Even when they don’t have their eyes on each other their eyes are still somehow on each other.. when thy look away they are still connected.. it’s so god damn intimate. What audience? If there was ever a program that proved they shut all the 7billion or so people on this earth out when they dance it’s this one. The suspension following Scott’s twizzle at the centre back of the rink and he reaches out to the front, only momentarily entertaining the idea that anyone else is actually there to save them. The way they play with the music as if making certain notes freeze in time, then race to catch others like their lives depend on it.

Even when they break.. the way they take a good 5 seconds to stay in that bubble, the way he gently fondles with her.. like with their hug just settling their heart beats back down, coming back to each other to refocus while still connected to the yearning violin drawing them back to start again.

Then just as they dipped briefly out of character, letting the story overtake them and they phase back into it in that beautifully soft little cradley hug, spinning in their shared energy as the lyrics start to emphasise what their bodies are yearning for each other, the movement signifying them stumbling over their own two feet as the other is their save them.

The exquisite, time standing still pause as the whole arena breathes with them, realising the euphoria flooding them as finally their stunning smiles emerge.

I don’t know if anyone has noticed at this point, but this pause, only along with twizzles are the only times they have been out of contact with each other. They stretch and intertwine like elastic silks, their limbs only an extension of each others.

That minuscule throw where Tessa becomes airborne, only for her feet barely to touch the ice as she’s intentionally dropped back, not at the mercy of his control, but their own energies saving each other’s whether in the air or on the cold ice.

Then taking off, he like an eagle with her flying on his back. Landing again and her being tossed around because euphoric happiness isn’t all light and gentle- the essence of their love is that physical expression of which part of the fun is seeing how far they can push the boundaries of movement together.

Joining in an expansive waltz hold which should look so out of place in a contemporary routine but instead represents how their closeness and bond remains as they navigate through life taking them all directions- holding each other close just to almost completely release, only their fingertips left in contact, to pull each other in again as they grasp for their person.

That brief moment where he has to chase after her in the middle of a required technical step sequence, they are now just dancing. What audience? what coaches? what other skaters? are they- TS even here? As if dna under a microscope- they are just two lost souls who found each other in this big wide world.. communicating the best way they know how, doing the thing that brings them the most passionate joy in this life.

Tessa arching up to the heavens in their straight lift, thanking whatever powers brought them together.. embedded in music the slightest sound of angelic choir voices during that lift as she exhales.

The music then settling as they too quieten down. That last spiralling lift, expansive to nestled.. them both almost folding around each other in a foetal-like position as she hangs on closing off the world around them. Wanting to be as close as they can he reaches down to give her the most gentle little kiss on the first spot he reaches.

It truly brings tears to my eyes.. how special they must feel in a moment like that. Her unable to do anything but hang on and he confirms the magic of that moment with a gesture far too intimate to be considered platonic. But in these moments that label means nothing to them.. what is any label you can put on a feeling this special?. In the middle of a rehearsal for a competitive program, at a competition with a result so important in their plan for 2018.. let alone completing their gold collection. In this moment none of that matters, nothing else in existence matters except them in their little world. I can only imagine, for her in that moment spinning in her lil tucked position, being met with a kiss she has no control over receiving. Receiving it from someone she trusts with her life, she knows exactly what that kiss means in the context of who it’s coming from, but also in that moment it has no meaning, it is just an expression of overwhelming love.. how freaking loved must she feel in that moment??

As they come to a stop, not reaching the end of their journey, but just another step in realising their essential role in each other’s existence, these two.. sometimes emotionally disturbed (borrowing that from their description of Stay), maybe even by their own emotions together, have made it though another chapter alive, safe, still in each other’s arms.

Laying her back she takes one last exhale, him resting on her beating chest, hopefully in time with his own.

Yes, this was just a practice.. just another run of their FD. These two great athletes, this terrifying, formidable team… so good their practice just becomes a conversation.. just them communicating, synchronising, feeling anything and everything they want to feel.

#Youtube #me getting carried away by them in real time #I’m sorry I didn’t mean for this to become a novel #they make me feel so much I was left having a moment watching this for the thousandth time #like… how are they even real? how is in the same world as everything else #how can this be compared.. JUDGED?? against anything else??#I understand it and yet I don’t understand it #I want so desperately to feel what they are feeling #and sometimes I think I do #but then think no that isn’t possible because they are the ones in each others arms #ughhhh #deeeppp sigh #fd: latch #practice #GPF 2016

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