#I don't think I retained anything

[crabsnpersimmons]

It has come to my attention that I haven't drawn sun and moon as chibis yet

I have rectified the situation:

all is right with the world

#fnaf sun #fnaf moon #dca fandom #fnaf dca #drew these during a break from my course modules #they gave me life as I reread the same page about the rivetting history of Canadian land description over and over again #I don't think I retained anything #but their bright colours and childish glee over puddles of water have healed me #crab art #traditional art #I'mma go sleep now #tomorrow's module is an estimated 8 hrs ha HA #five nights at freddys daycare attendant... save me... #five nights at freddys daycare attendant #save me five nights at freddys daycare attendant

[spaciebabie]

i love my advisor. he's really nice and is always like "i believe in you!" when things get hard. unfortunately sir, you are my professor for advanced calculus and you. see my grades. im fucked. im going ta fail this class lmao

#spacie spoinks #still don't know howta study for reasoning/proof courses. trying. #there aren't problems I can do and check my work. b/c the problems don't have. answers #like they have answers they're just not. written down anywhere #anyway I'm fucked #started atstudying a week ago and I'm still fucked #I am the only person in that class that is struggling I think b/c he makes eye contact w/me a lot 😭 #''do we all understand this?'' looks at me #sigh #the answer is yes in the moment but talk ta me later and I will not have retained anything #messed up dude

[aniseandspearmint]

*makes a small batch of turkey*

*makes sides*

*remembers exactly how much i DON'T LIKE roasted turkey as i take the first bite*

*sigh*

why do i NEVER remember this? I like turkey as a lunch meat, but otherwise? meh

i will have forgotten this again by next year probably

#also i tried a new stuffing i found at aldi and it's very salty #at least the green bean casserole turned out okay #and the sparkling grape juice was nice #don't think i'll do this next year #i mostly did it this year for nostalgia i guess #i did it for mom every year bc she loved turkey #but now that it's just me i think i'll pass #providing my sieve of a brain retains the decision #next year i'll get myself some nice shellfish maybe or a small ham #anything but turkey #i am sad i can't seem to make myself like it anymore bc it's SO CHEAP around now #i hate not being able to take advantage of that #but bleagh #me #my life

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

.

#Honestly I kinda feel like reclaiming slurs is pointless #Like if it can still hurt you when said by the wrong person #Then what have you reclaimed? #It quite literally retains all the qualities of a slur #It's offensive and hurtful when said so what are we doing exactly? #Maybe I just don't get it #But I've been thinking about it lately and I dunno #I'm not saying that people who are affected by a certain slur can't say it amongst themselves #But does it really accomplish anything to say it with your friends when your enemies can still hurt you with it? #The whole concept of reclaiming is taking power away from the word #But that has literally never happened lmao #Slurs retain their offense #The power is still there

[the-composer]

since a lot of ppl left the rpc that were in joshua’s circle and his existing circle is now much smaller and things are slower/fandom lull etc i’m considering the prospect of wiping his memory. he’d still be in his usual thing with sanae and his main verse with him and @dandybarista remains unchanged, but i think a clean slate could make for fresh and more enjoyable interactions. that said, if you don’t want anything to change with joshua and your muse can you please like or reply?

#not guaranteed i'll do this but i think it would simplify things immensely #and absolutely nothing needs to change with our muses! #shibuya has the ability to tweak adjust and wipe memories in my verse #she did it once a few years back so it's a thing that can happen #anyway do let me know if you want to retain anything #like relationships don't have to change #ex. his closeness with hope #and his involvement with alex's joshua in their story #but yeah lemme know and if you don't care either way that's coolio too #tbd

[cheekblush]

i’ve been sitting in front of my chemistry notes for 3 hours crying because i just can’t retain any information

#i'm absolutetly mortified about tomorrow's final #my head hurts so much i can't concentrate at all #and no matter what i look at or read through i just can't remember or understand anything #this might sound silly but please pray for me that i'll pass the exam tomorrow otherwise i'll have to repeat the school year #unfortunately they don't give any second chances if you fail a final you automatically have to repeat a year it's absolutely horrible #i think i never felt so unprepared for an exam in my life even though i'm sitting here trying to study nothing works #i'm gonna try to summarize the most important things & hopefully i can retain some of that information #it's just SO MUCH to remember & i think our teacher didn't properly prepare us for this final #please please please please please please let me pass this exam i am on my knees crying i really am #i'm so anxious i just can't seem to calm down #☁️

[boltlightning]

s2 of smash is such a mess BUT derek wills has achieved his full form of sprawling over every set like a misbehaved house cat making snide little comments and viciously mauling any enemy who comes near. nothing more. he is a man who only has emotions in weird puppy-eyed daydream sequences and that's how it should be. the show has finally realized i'm a simple woman and im only here to see jack davenport be hot and evil and inevitably ruin everything

#i haven't retained anything from the plot #but i do remember there's a scene where derek is in an argument with tom #lying fully on his back on a riser #head lolling off the side #glaring at nothing upside down while another human being is shouting at him #show bad but actor good #he can and does play derek with nuance but i don't think they should add any to the season #i think he should lounge on furniture with malicious intent #bolt watches things

[icewindandboringhorror]

Current temperature inside of my room right now in the middle of the night whilst about to go to sleep... villain origin story...

#You just get SOOOOO tired of being hot all the time for multiple days straight.. with very little relief ever... hhHHHH #I forget that I literally lose my mind and become evil every summer like clockwork #I don't evenknow what I mean by that because I'm just as calm/monotone as ever lol.. but I just feel more evil.. low level pent up rage #or something. nothing changes on the outside but on the inside it's like hmm.. I'm like 5% more hostile than I usually am #not outwardly expressed still of course. but just.. my bones are made of a little more violence recently.. #percentages moving around. My character stats get a temporary modifier all summer where I feel chronically just a LIIIITLE more noticably #unhinged. like I will never do it of course. but I will think about. maybe I'll just throw all the plates at the wall and break every wind #ow with a baseball bat. No. I shant. I would never.. but .. I could. 5% more than I usually could. But I shan't. but let it be known.. I #c o u l d ...i COULD.. if I had to. but I don't.. but still.. keep the notion in the back of the mind.. hmm.. lol #And this is not even during a heat wave at the moment it's just like.. normal summer.. >:') #I think it's also largely the shitty apartment which was not built for coolness. Like older houses will have tall cielings and those window #above the doors and ceiling fans and be built high up from the ground and all these other ways to manage warm weather #naturally. but cheaply constructed dinky city apartments with no ventilation and windows only on one side and blah blah #It retains heat insanely like being trapped in a green house or something #even with all the windows open & fans in the house and stuff it just doesn't really move air well because the space is not made to do that. #Also really testing my anticapitalism/leftism/etc... sitting and thinking 'damn maybe I should play the stock market.. I should sell #some sculptures and overprice them.. howmuch could I charge for these clothes..' < *is desperate to afford a living situation with central #heating and air conditioning* #Haha! Guillotines?? who said anything about those? I LOVE rich people.. haha.. now what's a guy gotta do to instantly get about $50.000 ar #ound here? haha! kidnap someone and sell their organs? okay haha! I love the free market! going to home depot right #now to buy an axe! Don't you just hate taxes? so glad I live in the best country in the world under the best economic system on the planet #USA! USA!! USA!!! *visibly shaking. nose starts bleeding. you notice i am also levitating off the ground slightly* #ANYWAY gfgfgh.... winter......... my sweet child....i miss you so so much.... SUMMER you are my ENEMY #ah well now it's gone down to 80.4 Farenheight. cancel post. thats such an improvemtn surely I'll be able to sleep soundly now /s #what was I ever worried about? it's all good! haha!! *still levitating a little * #In better news - I have finished the Victorian Pharmacy documentary series and am now watching them build a medieval castle! and one of my #goofy joke song snippets suddenly got 6.000 views on youtube which was cool?? though very random? I made kale chips again. and had asparag #us. And saw a duck. carved a lot of things out of avocado pits. Little tidbits to keep me sane.. #See a funny little duck outside and go 'hmm... life is okay actually :) I no longer want to break windows :3' #then it gets like 85F inside again and you're liek NEVERMINDaaaaaaahhh!!!!! then you see a duck next morning and calm down :)

[occultdaddy]

Out of the Evo folks when Grian dissappeared in the End who:

Turned around for a second or two and when they turned back he was gone. Not unusual for Grian, but he didn't show up again.

Saw him dissappear in the corner of their eye. Thinking their eyes fooled them, that he just ended up in a blind spot of their vision... But when they looked around he was just gone.

Looked directly at him (maybe even talked with him) as he dissappeared. Their brain taking a second to register he's not there anymore. One sec he was there and the next he's not. It being completely incomprehensible.

Related to this post where it wasn't the Watchers that took Grian. (although some rumours spread that it was.)

#Grian #The little I know about evo is from fanworks and wiki so we playin loose with it #I can't devide which would be funnier or more impactful #I'm thinking maybe Pearl on the second #I can't decide if it's funnier on first or third for jimmy... first is kinda likr on brand for him #Martyn and Bigb would be best for second or third but idk which #I'm thinking first for Taurtis #Sorry I know of the other folks but I don't think I've seen them in videos or retain much memory of them in fics #I have a funny clip of me logging out while Oscar is speaking to me and I kinda imagine it somewhat like that #Ofc it said in chat that I logged out and it wouldn't be anything like that for Grian #He just dissappear without a sound or motion or anything indicating where he went #Cosmic horror style bby #He's cool about it

[s00nyoungie]

im so sick of roommate A slandering my cat

#we're isolating my cat and roomie R's new cat #new cat is unbelievably cuddly and sweet and wants pets literally 24/7. R couldnt sleep bc she kept asking for cuddles #A hates my cat bc she's strictly a dog person and doesnt understand how most cats have boundaries. will NOT respect boundaries. #at the shelter A kinda embarrassed us bc she sayinf shit like Oh is this cat gonna bite or scratch me? our cat at home isnt great w animals #which is a lie ... #and just now my cat hissed at the door separating her from the new cat who's a sweetheart #and A just said 'jiji why are u being so mean' #i told her 'its a natural reaction for cats when being introduced' (also its literally day 2 of new cat being home) #and she says 'i knowwww but the new cat is so unproblematic.. jiji doesnt have to do that' #first of all. whatever. i know she thinks my cat is problematic bc she bites when her boundaries are crossed. like a normal cat. #secondly. she continually demonstrates that she actually doesnt know. she doesnt retain anything we tell her abt cat behavior or body lang #her own dog doesnt even like her. shes just terrible w animals and the new cat is the first one that doesnt run away from her. #our old roomie E told me she hates when A compares my cat to E's cats who don't bite or swat as much #personal

[imp-furiosa]

glass onion tidbit (spoilers)

before I do this, know that this is a down and dirty quick splash of an idea that’s been knocking around my head since watching it. particular wording I know needs work and if I were writing up a paper this would be much more thought out and particular words would be very considered. in short, there are a few phrases I use here which could be picked at to undermine the entire argument and that’s not the sort of feedback I want to engage with. consider the vibe rather than the exact phrasing

thesis: Blanc’s character can point out what’s wrong but will not take the necessary corrective actions. a perfect allegory of liberal American politics that just wants to be correct, not do the correct thing

antithesis: it wasn’t Blanc’s action to take. he’s not some sort of white savior. he helped create the situation by exposing the truth but then left the shot at justice in the hands of the one person who deserved it, Brand

synthesis: Netflix workshopped and focus grouped a fun film targeted at a specific audience one might describe as “woke maskers” -- no offense intended to fellow politically motivated mask wearers. the film works very hard to create a situation where you can feel good that the Mona Lisa gets destroyed while of course the Mona Lisa doesn’t get destroyed irl. one of the first things it does is make up a fantasy mouth spray so that you don’t have to hand wring about Blanc and the others not wearing masks during their Covid party. our antagonist/villain is a guy just as insufferable as everyone else you want to punch on the screen, with the exception that we’re given some good reasons you’d actually punch him, whereas the social norms (the status quo we wouldn’t dare disrupt) say we can’t do that to the others

it’s a film about feeling good when the stars align and some rich asshole gets justice but not actually rocking the boat enough to do it for real. it’s about ignoring systemic issues to focus instead on intensely personal ones. the system is unimpeachable. you can only lash out at individual actors within the system when they commit some personal crime. like the “disruptors” in the film, the work’s final act of disruption and the good feelings it brings the audience are ultimately the false catharsis of a bourgeois placebo intended to placate its target audience. you know you’re good because you consumed a good film. there’s no need to do more (and you’re good: good people wouldn’t burn the Mona Lisa)

#glass onion #critical reading #I don't have the energy right now to get into this more but #if I wanted to write like a 15 page paper #it'd be about the history of the american labor movement and how glass onion informs us about the ways it has failed #culminating in this sort of usurpation to be used by a tech/media giant to just give us an hour and a half of entertainment #we'd much rather watch the rich get the guillotine on the big screen and feel good because we think that's just #than to do the work of making a more just world ourselves #even that's a bit more cut and dry than the topic deserves #anyway if someone feels like expanding on it please do #i saw a joke about how the perfect ending woulda been for blanc to test positive after the weekend #and yes absolutely that woulda worked a bit at shall we say disrupting this fantasy #we still have to worry about covid #but structurally the narrative isn't set up to do anything else #like it'd take huge rewrites to retain the mystery and general plot #while pointing the finger at the system #rather than at one rich asshole

[cruelsister-moved2]

I think people have confused the fact that it's definitely possible to go "look this magical guy told me these are the rules so now you all have to obey" with believing that religion is intrinsically just that. and it's like they just discount the possibility that anyone has ever earnestly believed in a higher authority or genuinely had a mystical experience or whatever. the thing is if you actually observe how religious people behave, especially if you look outside of like evangelical megachurch pastors who are clearly just grifting, it immediately becomes pretty hard to ignore that.

for every example of religion maintaining inequality u have muslim charities successfully preventing FGM by informing muslim communities who perpetrate it that it's haram, sikhs opposing casteism, early christians fighting gender inequality etc etc etc + on an individual level literally countless people who have fought against poverty and oppression on the basis of religious belief. like... IS it really something specific about religion or is it the fact that hegemony will naturally pick up and spread whatever supports it and suppress whatever doesn't?because the same can also be said of like... music... so are u going to say music is just a tool of the elite or whatever? bc it definitely can be. but it's equally a tool for resisting oppression and also just a significant part of the human experience.

aren't we meant to be postmodernists now like i think maybe things sometimes do just happen sometimes. what Society does with it after the fact is another question, but if you look at the history of religion I'm surprised if you don't come away with some awareness that genuine belief in some sort of authority or mechanism which is outside of human control can be something very transformative. like the fundamental innovation of the torah was to say that every human life is equal to every other human life in opposition to the code of hammurabi which said that some people's life = other people's pocket change. only a power which comes from somewhere outside human society would be able to ensure that law was applied fairly and equally to all rather than manipulated on the whim of the human with the most power to enforce it. if the "abrahamic" religions can be said to have anything in common at all, it's probably a call to humbleness and the value of every human being. much to think about!!!!

#religion kind of just makes u more like whatever ur already like ngl #if anything can be said universally of religion it's probably just that #which is why I said what I said abt gay catholics #sorry everyone I needed to say this because I was trying to work out what was bothering me abt #the book I just read teehee #watched a documentary abt another gnostic gospel and it is just so like #yeah religion is transformative at the margins of society and oppressive at the centre #like so is everything in the world. what else is new #if you don't want to read this whole post then just go watch yentl. you'll understand #like it's easier to think about w music bc something I noticed w like victorian era popular music was literally like #the average guy just starts liking something because. it's exciting and interesting to him #and then there is some kind of move to retain control #like minstrel shows in the uk were partly a reaction to genuine enthusiasm for african american music because like. it's good and it's also #super different to anything people had heard before #so then there was this like. move to take control from black performers by having it be white performers doing caricatures at their expense #music hall was something people just started doing and then was ultimately turned into a whole panopticon of control #see also: every radical music genre that gets watered down and commercialised #anywayyyy hiii

[maschotch]

I've gone a little deeper about Emily's past in my fic 'Unrequited' and 'As It Was'. I'm just obsessed with her character and the backstory both she and Hotch have. And I just finish reading the little backstory you did about Emily and I loved it!!

i’m really not much of a jemily fan (partly because i think fanon characterizations of jj are completely delusional, partly because i think fanon characterizations of emily are beyond insulting, and mostly because i cannot fucking fathom what anyone could possibly like about jj), but i went ahead and read those two pieces because i figured you came into my inbox already knowing that. it’s just… not how i see either of those characters. not even necessarily the shipping aspect, even ignoring my reservations about jj, but because of the way i think emily approaches relationships

this sounds hypocritical after writing about emily + family, but i feel like emily doesn’t really care about her biological family anymore. at least i’d like to. i’d like to think she’s accepted that she’ll never be what her mother wants and that she’ll never get what she wants from her mother. she’s 36 when she joins the bau—surely that’s enough time to realize she can’t hold onto those childish fantasies anymore. not that i disagree with what i wrote, i just think it's given her a complex ab family rather than it actually being something she truly craves. it was a setup for her life: she wasn't meant to be with others, which is something she eventually tries to change about herself

i’m a big fan of low-empathy emily, so i feel like she has to put active effort into caring about relationships. as a child raised by an extremely distant parent, she probably chalked it up to never having connections growing up, so she never learned how to make connections in the future. it’s easier to assume she’s broken, and it’s easier to blame her mom for it

but really, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with her, she’s just different. at some point i think she had to wrestle with that: it’s hard to think she fell into the job best suited for her personality just by coincidence. being a spy requires that cold, calculating observation and analysis of relationship dynamics. she can view things objectively because she isn’t naturally inclined to get emotionally attached. she can witness unfathomable horrors without a flinch—things that would rock jj to her core, things that would perturb the unflappable hotch. she knows she’s better equipped to handle those types of experiences because having empathy was never really a priority. (it's part of why i think she was the only one who could've walked through hotch's apartment that day: she wouldn't get distracted)  

that being said, i don’t think connections are impossible for her. the bau proves that, declan proves that. but i think that was a conscious choice on her part: she had seen enough—caused enough—pain and grief to realize that she should feel guilty for it. so i think she wakes up every day and decides to care. she decides to be a good person. eventually she confronts that she's tired of living a life she doesn't feel like she could be proud of

she’s not heartless, by any means. she just doesn’t become emotionally involved until she comes to the logical conclusion to do so. she has a soft spot for kids because they haven’t had a chance to truly know themselves and the world they live in. she loves the team because of how deeply connected they are to each other. so, when push comes to shove, she’s always willing to leave if it means keeping them together. it’s easy to make that choice because she loves them: in season 3 when the choice is between her and hotch and she knows hotch’s loss will devastate them; in season 6 when she’s making them potential targets for doyle’s vendetta; in season 7 when she feels the tension that never quite settled upon her return. i don’t know if any of the others would’ve made those decisions as easily, even if it was the best choice for them as a whole. not even hotch, who is terrified that his proximity is enough to hurt people he cares about. she’s detached in a way that can separate her from others, but she’s able to turn that into her strength: whether that means manipulating her way into terrorist organizations or walking away from the only chance at a family she's ever had just to keep them safe

i have my bits and pieces of evidence for it that i can scrounge into a semi-believable character analysis, but ultimately i think it’s so i can enjoy more of her character without getting irked by aspects of the archetypes she could fit that would typically annoy me. i’d like to think she’s above some of that: she’s too cool to have mommy issues, too badass to spend years pining over relationships, too self assured to be insecure about her decisions, too smart to let anyone see through her. 

i say all this as a hotch fan, who has traits very similar to these. but it suits him. it makes him more interesting, to know that there’s a vulnerability behind his stoic appearance. but with emily i think it’s far more admirable for her to choose to suffer because she wants to care. minimal loss is the perfect example of that: she makes the logical choice to put herself at risk because she wants to protect reid. she’s not running away from who she is anymore, and she’s not really fighting it either. she chooses to be a good person, not out of guilt or even love, but because it’s something she values. 

for me, emily is the cool brooding hero who could be a villain so easily. maybe, in an earlier time in her life, she was. but she’s done being selfish. she’s willing to make sacrifices for others because she decided that living by a code is better than living for nothing at all, even if it causes her pain. guilt and love—two burning sensations that were so opposite yet so intrinsically linked—were burdens she chose to bear so she wouldn’t feel so hollow anymore. and it does cause her pain. so, so much pain. to me, it makes her endlessly more fascinating. i’d rather her be a knife that dulls its edges than something soft chiseled to a jagged point. 

#aljkhsfgjk was halfway through breakfast when i saw this in my notifs then got so worked up reading the fics that i just HAD to say smth #now--thirty minutes later--my toast is cold and forgotten #and im trying to decide if i feel mean enough to actually post this #asks #emily prentiss #i really just. don't like emily in most ships #i think ppl who ship her w tsia or derek are slightly more forgivable--they retain her fun energy #but with jj and hotch? #they just.. its just... its not her #she doesnt pine like that #even if i actaully liked jj i just dont think emily would waste her time with someone who's too scared to accept herself #idk im just so TIRED of queer ships where the main source of angst is rejecting their own sexuality #especially with the bau... htey know themselves better than that #not all of them! i think jj and spencer struggle to come to terms with it (jj moreso) #but derek? hotch? emily? penelope? they have deeper darker secrets that far outweigh whatever shame they may feel from being gay #if anything i think their homosexuality (bisexuality imo) is a relief for them... a breath of fresh air.. smth they can love ab themselves #an outlet... physically and emotionally... suckin n fuckin to forget how much they hate themselves #bc they DO hate themselves #but they're not plagued by the.. by the SHAME jj and reid have #theres a difference i think #and people can project if they want--thats totally fine #i just dont think it suits their characters

[roaringroa]

oficially diagnosed with adhd babeyyyyyyy

#this is so funny to me cause if you asked me a year ago if i thought i had adhd i would confidently have said no #but then in the middle of a therapy session i could almost see the imaginary lamp over my therapist's head turn on #and she said you know what? i think you should investigate if you have adhd #and i was a little skeptical about it but i mentioned it to my parents and they were like hold on... she's right #and then on the same week i was hanging out with a newly made friend and outta nowhere she stopped me and asked if i had adhd #so i was like welp... maybe i do #and then i made a psychiatrist appointment who sent me to a neuropsychologist to take multiple tests involving logical thinking memory #attention span etc etc #i did very high on logical thinking but the attention part was low and the memory part was average #which means i can't pay attention well but the moments that i do i retain and can understand well #it explains a lot cause i had literally no trouble with school like i was top5 students in my school up until 9th grade cause we didn't have #to do any long term studying or projects or whatever #but then in high school when things got more complicated and i HAD to pay attention to understand concepts things got much harder #i couldn't just logic my way out of exams anymore and also i had way more classes #like when i had afternoon classes (two times a week) i literally just gave up cause i knew i couldn't pay attention #but i mean i still passed every class with no final exams or anything but i went from a 90% student to a 65% one #(except in humanities i love you humanities) #and then i got into college and the pandemic hit and online classes were absolutely awful like it was truly bad for me #i was a portuguese major for a year and a half and i honest to god don't remember 5% of what i was supposed to know #again i did well on my tests and stuff i had a 88% average but like #that was solely from panicking pre due dates and crying and doing the little reading i absolutely had to do 10 hours before the exam was due #and then immediately forgetting everything the second i hit send #i think there were maybe 5 ocasions during the whole year and a half where i was able to actually pay attention during an online class #most of the time i tried for like 3 minutes and gave up #and it really made me sad cause i thought i was just a lazy ass throwing my college experience away #which made me extra upset cause i was studying in like basically the best college in the country #and it's a public one so the people were paying for my studies only for me to throw it all away?? #anyway it was a tough time for me mentally and this diagnosis makes me feel so relieved #like when i can't pay attention it's because of the way my brian opperates and not my character #my post

[mishkakagehishka]

With the language speaking poll, it varies from country (and state/county in the US)

In my area you're required 2 years of a language course

Most kids take it but do the bare minimum or just don't remember it. Usually you grow up knowing that language/being taught it young. Sometimes we learn jt in school and remember enough to keep taking to learn and remember. We usually offer use it or lose it languages, which most kids don't use it and then they lose it and then no one speaks other languages

Huh! That makes sense, actually, i feel like 2 years is not nearly enough to retain enough knowledge, and not even enough to learn a lot. I think when i started studying italian in 4th grade, we didn't even get to subjunctives by the time i was 8th grade, and subjunctives are a surprisingly common form. At least to the way I speak. And even among those who took the elective third language, i know a lot of folks who don't remember a thing about it, i'm assuming because even four years of a once-per-week class isn't enough for retention.

Well, it's sad, at least to me who is linguistically inclined. Quot linguas calles tot homines vales is something i take personally lololol but right! I guess it's the sort of inertion that happens to speakers of a lingua franca, there's no "need" to learn a foreign language, so even those who are talented for languages might never find out :/

Well, I hope thanks to globalisation, at least those who like foreign languages can find ways to learn even outside of formal schooling :>

#i think you'll notice easily that i'm a bit in love with foreign languages and really defend languages as a subject in school with my life #i once saw (a native eng speaker) call foreign language subjects joke classes and useless and i felt like maiming lmao #but i feel like i totally understand what you mean #it's one thing with english - it's a mandatory 2nd language from 1st to 12th grade in my country #which means that it's standardised and you're always learning more and more and more and thanks to media #you're bound to retain it. i even had it in preschool ! #and a related digression but it also depends on the age you give students a foreign language - the older we get the harder it is to learn #a language. not impossible but just more difficult. i think a huge part of the reason why i'm fluent is because of the fact that i started #learning when i was 4 years old. the third language is an elective in most 4th-8th grade classes and kids get to choose #between italian and german usually (a friend of mine took french tho) and despite the fact that they're languages we do get exposed to #but i tell you most kids i know don't remember anything. depending on the high school you either get a mandatory 3rd language or a #mandatory 3rd and 4th. again italian and/or german. but those tortured souls in classic gymnasiums had latin and ancient greek </3 #even from my hs class i don't know many folks who remember much italian. it's dependant on the kid's will to learn when there's not as much #time or focus on the class bc yknow. we took the same classes yet i'm quite comfortable majoring in a language my friends can barely #introduce themselves in. such is life. i'd love languages to be more focused on especially in these times of globalisation but well #i guess it'll just always be harder to implement a focus on anything non-english #bc it's considered one of the only useful language there's the inertion in anglo countries #and the unwillingness to bother in non-anglo countries #at least in mine where kids have like 17 other subjects i can see why they'd to the bare minimum for 3rd language #even i - linguistically inclined as i am - passed on the opportunity to take french in hs because i just had enough on my plate #asks

[dubiouslexism]

time and time again i find i am just simply not strong enough. but somehow i survived until my twenty first, against all odds. so that's got to be something.

some of my favourite pictures i took of myself this year :]

#personal #ive been dreading my birthday basically for the whole past month #now that its here. idk #i was hoping id dream of my mom last night but i didn't #despite that i'm still totally mentally ill #ignoring my friend again #funny though since i realised that it's attention seeking behaviour and i believe the root cause of it is just that i want to be with her #in person #and retain comfort from that #not over the phone not from text messages i want to see her #but thats not gonna happen so #i don't know what i expected from my birthday #nothing really #and i think thats what is hurting the most #i never expect anything and yet i'm disappointed all the same #if you read these tags gotbless your heart lmao #have a good day <3