#I have a LOT of emotions right now fuck

[bittersweetresilience]

so do you think he succeeded?

#i woke up out of nowhere at seven in the morning with his speech playing in my head over and over again #a better world. a free world. turn me into shredded paper #and i was thinking about how i would be really annoyed if the wish never had any consequences because if that was the case félix deserved #to make his own. in this new world there's still obfuscation. people are still pulling the strings. there's still fucking nepotism LMAO #i also almost put the ring scene as who gets powers and who doesn't because i think a lot about whether ladybug would have granted all #sentimonsters autonomy or only the ones she perceives to be human #i didn't because i couldn't find anything else that fit what's right or wrong but know i have many thoughts on this subject #miraculous ladybug #🌃 #ml gifs #ml emotion #ml recreation #ough... félix #sunny from the future here i kept this in my drafts for a bit but it shall now be dispensed to you because i am a magnanimous ruler

[andromeda3116]

people actually went on about how game of thrones made it socially acceptable to be a fantasy nerd, as though the lord of the rings movies hadn't been released less than a decade earlier and left far greater cultural ripples and i am just

got may have made the adults feel better about liking fantasy, but lotr got into the kids' heads when they (we) were just young and impressionable enough to be absolutely transported and emotionally rewritten by don't you leave him, samwise gamgee and my brother, my captain, my king and and rohan will answer

lotr was rewriting entire generations' brain chemistry long before asoiaf and so obviously it's not fair to compare any post-lotr fantasy novel to it, and each book series was trying to do different things within their own spheres and so that also is not a fair comparison, but in terms of the cultural impact of the adaptations that came out within a decade of each other, saying that it was game of thrones that made fantasy mainstream is baffling

game of thrones could only run because the lord of the rings movies laid the path, and i will die on this hill

#lotr #lord of the rings #lord of the rings movies #i started this post because ''may it be'' came up on my playlist but now i think i'm going to start my nth rewatch of the trilogy #there is a lot to discuss about it re: comparison to the books but it's like... #for all the changes they made - good and bad and neutral - everyone involved in making the films *loved* the source material #they all *wanted* to do justice to it and believed in it and it shows #i think of some posts i've seen about how frustrating this modern push towards tongue-in-cheek irony over sincerity #so afraid to be corny or cheesy that you have to tack a joke onto every real emotional moment #like no fuck that #give me sam hauling frodo onto his shoulders saying ''i can't carry it for you but i can carry you'' #give me aragorn gently kissing boromir's forehead as he dies #give me merry and pippin throwing themselves at the uruk hai to distract them from frodo #give me theoden's grand speeches and gandalf's pained expression when frodo says he'll carry the ring #tbh i think that sincerity is a large part of *why* it has such staying power even now #because it is a story you are meant to get deeply emotionally invested in and not hold yourself a little ironically apart from #it isn't meant to sell merch it's meant to bring you to middle-earth and capture your heart and make you believe that the war can be won #with love and loyalty and hope and fellowship and fidelity and integrity and just... just refusing to give in to despair #it is earnest. it is unafraid to be melodramatic or corny because it believes in the story it's telling. #and so it imprinted onto a whole generation growing up right at the cusp of a barrage of apocalypses #anyway. i have Feelings about these movies and their impact and how that mirrors and enhances the books' own impact

[rollforjackass]

i could KILL him for this. motherfucker's every interaction with children has him being, if not nice, then at minimum kind and forgiving and genuinely invested in their wellbeing.

he asks crying kids what's the matter, he's afraid to hold a baby because he's worried he'll drop it, he goes after people who are mean to kids without a second thought. his whole mentorship with timothy hunter is him trying to do right by that kid no matter how he feels about it at the time. man would be the most loving dad in the world but because of his own awful goddamn father and the ways he thinks he takes after thomas, he doesn't think that's true. i hate.

#this panel made me SPITTING mad for real he breaks my heart #the way his father fucked up his whole mindset and self-image is something that makes me so violent #me rattling the bars of my cage yelling about how the family man arc was a vessel for conveying constantine's fears about his father #how it made him feel responsible for his father's murder after his dad had called him the killer of his mother his whole life #then made him a literal killer which turned that childhood nickname into a self-fulfilling prophecy & his dad into an unintended oracle #how constantine has always been afraid of becoming his father and yet that's exactly who he had to emulate to survive the world of magic #and then vertigo gave him the fucking rosacarnis arc which made him unwillingly a dad and his kids killers. i'm unwell #i NEED john constantine to know how good a person he really is and how loved any kid of his would be #the one thing new 52 did right for him was making him genuinely loving and caring towards rose #instead of making him pawn her off on everyone around him. which i fear a lot of writers would make him do these days #i NEED him to know he's better than who raised him #they say mary anne constantine would have been a good mother if she'd lived and i think there's a lot of her left in her son #not that he'd ever believe it #hellblazer #john constantine #i'm very emotional about him right now #oxly hollers

[henrybelly]

honestly when i tried to figure out why some fans are so mad at ivypool these days i was looking through avos and. the scene where ivypool apologises to twigpaw for not supporting sending a patrol for skyclan is genuinely very sweet??

i actually saw someone characterize this as "ivypool forcing twigpaw to forgive her". is it crack you smoke. is that what you smoke. you smoke crack?

#she apologises THREE SEPARATE TIMES #she acknowledges that dovewing and tigerheart's situation made her ignore twigpaw's feelings #she reassures twigpaw that this is the right thing for the clans. she tells her she's proud of her & tc is lucky to have her #you guys do understand that to apologise you have to Do Something Wrong?? or is that the part that's so unforgivable? #i am fASCINATED by the treatment of dove and ivy by the fans in recent years #i'm still pondering it but i think there are a few root causes #1) I think a lot of people read oots as kids and hated dove & identified with ivy because of the underdog storyline #maybe this fandom worship of dovewing is kinda part of that? wanting to feel like you've grown out of fandom misogyny? #but i also feel like 2) tigerdove has really increased dovewing's popularity #and i think because ivypool is so staunchly opposed to their relationship people then have to villainise ivypool #3) is maybe too spicy of a take but to be honest #i think people are subconsciously way more comfortable with a woman whose story ends in heterosexual marriage and childrearing #dovewing's mom role in TBC to shadowsight probably helped her popularity #so ivypool whose relationship w Fernsong & her kits is much less of a focus. and is mUCH less maternal #and who still exhibits Ugly Female Emotions like anger and hurt #and who God Forbid now holds a position of authority... #is too complicated to fit into :) she's such a good mom :) she's such a good mate #dovewing is easier to like because she tends to be a victim of circumstances (🤫 and often lacks agency in her storylines) #since ivypool regularly uses her agency to Fuck Up #fans revert to idealising dovewing because not only is she too good to do bad things. she also doesn't do Things in general #never mind that ivypool is the one who sacrifices and apologises #anyway <3 i think if i made a full analysis of ivy and dove post OOTS i would get too many spicy anons so i will cower in the tags

[birdricks]

ok heres this. how i interpreted his fears at least

#rnm spoilers #most of them r said pretty plainly but whatever LOL i love lists #interesting how u can see mortys Main fear of relying on rick right from the start #not sure abt the ‘rick putting them in danger one’ #its in tbat little loop of Rick Fears #which im not quite sure what to make of. so thats the closest i can get #its definitely smth hes doen a lot. so theres that #SCARY IMPLICATIONS of morty having overcome his reliance on rick. or at least his fear of it #like in conquering the hole alone hes realised he doesnt really Need rick. #like maybe one day therell be a time he gets in trouble and rick Wont bail him out. or cant. but hes ok w that now? #hmmmm. intersting. very curious to see where that goes #themost painful one for me is being responsible for ricks sadness #liek thsts so fucking rough. #GETTING PERSONAL…. like i know how it feels to be a kid and feel responsible for the emotions of adults. it sucks balls #itd be interesting to see if All of these fesrs have been conquered or just the reliance one

[liquidstar]

This is such a tangent btw but on the topic of guilt tripping and reblogs... I remember a few years back there were some terrible fires in Greece (and again this year, entire island villages are gone now) and at that time I had family who were caught in them. I can't describe the desperation I felt with these horrible things happening to my family and loved ones in my country. And I remember being frustrated and desperate with how no one around me in America really seemed to give a shit. I remember blogging asking people to PLEASE care please share something please reblog this link for mutual aid please think about the stories and fires etc etc etc. And the thing is I was very much in a state of grief myself, maybe not every word or action was perfectly reasonable, because I don't realistically expect everyone everywhere to care about every tragedy in the world. You can't. Emotionally it's just not possible, especially with all the stuff going on in the states rn too. Yeah it's a lot. It's not like I blog about every tragedy that ever happens either. I understand.

HOWEVER what I also remember was at this time there were a couple mutuals very clearly making vagueposts along the lines of "remember not everyone has the energy to care about everything in the world uwu" while I was posting about family who died and family who were drifting in the ocean for hours as their homes and loved ones burned. Listen. You have to understand sometimes that when a person in grief and frustration with things going on in their countries and communities impacts them very personally beg you to care... It's coming from a place of needing to see that care in the world in general. They're not holding a gun to your head Specifically saying you have to reblog the posts, if you don't have the energy just ignore it.

You don't have to go out of your way saying "um actually I can't care about the horrible stuff you and your family and your country are experiencing rn. I'm too busy focusing on my own stuff so can you be quiet or more reasonable with your grief thanks." Like. Just keep it to yourself then??? Have some fucking sympathy for other people and understand that maybe it's not always logical. The same way you don't have the emotional energy to think about every tragedy in the world, people who've been impacted by them often don't have the emotional energy to handle that alone and may seek somekinda community or solidarity. Idk. It's not about forcing shit on you sometimes it's not about you

#part of me thinks the 'we don't have time to care about everything all the time' has set us back a bit because it gets used as an excuse #bc most of the time no one is like asking you to become a hardcore advocate for every cause ever they're just saying like #hey reblog this donation post. and like I'm going to be real how much possible emotional energy is that really taking from you #compared to the actual activism the statement was meant for and such. like come on #surely less than complaining about people having the gull to ask you to give a shit right? #you can still have sympathy for multiple things without necessarily devoting a lot of your energy to said things you know? #doesn't mean you have to surround yourself with them to become the perfect most progressive activist or whatever #but you can like. idk. express sympathy or condolences in passing every now and then. like people normally do. idk #instead of being like 'how dare you ask me to care! there's issues in my own country i have to blog about!' are you for fucking real #but yeah enough time has passed that i can think more rationally about this and now know that that was a careless response #exactly the type of people you were afraid of being the representatives of the worlds apathy in your greif etc #but there are also people who do care is the thing #and obviously for the record I'm not mutuals w the former anymore bc like Christ

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

#especically in the first two weeks of a new release everyone is feelings lots of intense emotions ranging from ecstatic to angry #everything in between is a part of it and i know i'm also feeling very strongly about it right now #i always try to stay levelheaded and rational and see things from an objective pov and be diplomatic about discourse #i don't want any of what i say drift off too much into meaningless hate instead of the constructive criticism it's supposed to be #but when you feel so strongly about something and sometimes you really just wanna say yeah i fucking hate it lol #but i always try to explain why and give understandable arguments and not just blindly hate on something #for example - I'm aware there are fans who have some problems with s2 and don't love the season whereas i do and it's my fave #and there is a difference between expressing some criticism and justified concerns which you can understand where it comes from #and those who are just like 'oh it's a horrible season. it was so shitty and we should get rid of it' which is dumb hate and just not true #and i can't support people like that and take them seriously #i can have my own issues with s3 from a subjective pov which can also include some justified criticism as well #but also still acknowledge it as a truly good piece of tv media and the quality is top notch #and that's why you have such high expectations and have critique because it is so good and sets such a high standard #yrtalk #with that being said i understand ppl not wanting to see any critic about it if they are riding the high of happy wilmon endgame #but that doesn't mean that i can't express my own opinions on my own blog and i will continue to do so #and maybe one day i will feel differently and accept or even like the ending who knows #but it doesn't have to happen. it's fine if it does but it's also fine if it doesn't

[slutdge]

Not to get deep here or anything but i really think i dont want to have a relationship with my sister anymore and ive been reflecting on that a lot. like sure she didnt abuse me or really do anything to directly traumatize me, but she voted against me having human rights because im queer, as well as voting for a party that wants to harm first nations people despite both of us being first nations i just.... i dont think i can forgive her for that. weve had laughs and good times together but i find myself unable to forgive her for her politics. i wouldn't tolerate bigotry from anyone else, i shouldnt tolerate it from someone just cause theyre family.

#can anyone provide me guidance on this? ill bring it up with my therapist but i dont see her for another week #anyways im making myself cry late at night whats new lol ive been processing a lot this week #ok eta: and theyll always make you feel bad for this!!!!! #theyll be like ''ok so everyone has to bend to your commie regime to have a relationship with you 🙄'' #like yeah actually you do #if you really loved me like you claim to you wouldnt be FUCKING VOTING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY #yes you do have to respect my rights if you want to have a relationship with me that is completely reasonable #whats ACTUALLY unreasonable is you asking me to ''just get over'' the fact that yall support people who think i shouldnt have human rights #right wingers will try to gaslight you into believing basic human decency is an unattainable and torturous request #then when you get upset theyll be like ''god the left is so emotional 🙄'' #like yeah. i am. and you should be emotional too about human rights violations. the fact that youre not is pure evil. #anyways ill go cry myself to sleep like a faggot now #it just breaks my heart that i dont have any immediate family members who dont blatantly hate me for being queer/first nations

[pandora15]

life is cruel.

it's tragic, horrific, and unfair. it gives us the worst of things, causes us to feel and experience things that are so unspeakably painful that sometimes I can't even. I can't even.

and it seems even more cruel in those moments of pain and grief and loss when you see something beautiful, like fall colors, or the color of the sky at sunset, or how the holidays typically are meant to bring joy to people but all you can think about now is that every year when this time of year comes, you'll just think about how tragic it is.

and cruel.

and horrific.

and unfair.

and beautiful.

#grief #grief tw #so i'm dealing with grief intimately for the first time like. ever. and i'm having a lot of emotions #and i can't help but observe that the way i write it in fic feels. kinda like how i feel right now? in some ways? #but also like. everyone goes through it differently and there's no like correct way to process #for me i'm. okay most of the time when i have a lot of stuff to do #which is like 90% of the time #but i'm also just feeling a lot of things and trying to figure out how to move forward #especially with the knowledge that life is short and cruel and you just never know what might happen #and i can't just not do the things i truly want to do with my life because i'm SCARED #because. you never know what might happen #you never know when the end is gonna come #anyways i drove back to my apartment today and i saw beautiful fall colors on the way #and all i can think is ''how can the world be so beautiful and so horrible at the same time'' #''so beautiful and so fucking CRUEL at the same time'' #''and to the people who least deserve its cruelty'' #anyways that's where i'm at ig #still got two classes moving and a full time job to do while all of this is happening 🙃 #all things considered. i'm okay. not great but i'm doing my best #really in my post tpm obi-wan era except to a lesser degree #but i certainly have a LOT of responsibilities to deal with along with my grief so. yeah.

[ghostofasecretary]

it's been a while since i've cried hard enough to have a headache but. sure got there today, babes!

#ghost speaks #personal #ripped my favorite tights i've had for 5+ years and can't replace #can't return my glasses #got ptsd triggered by going past my old church because i took a wrong turn because i was. crying about not being able to return my glasses #have been crying for a solid 40 minutes straight #am still incredibly aware of how isolated and lonely i am #my parents are on vacation so i won't see a friendly face or get a hug till sunday night at the earliest #just. doing BAD #(well. there is the faint hope that the office manager will take pity on me since her office literally cannot manufacture lenses #that will meet my needs) #(but considering i spent a lot of the last hour yelling and begging out loud trying to work out a maximally sympathetic pitch) #(and also dreading 1-2 years of not having transition lenses because theirs fuck with my color vision) #(i'm not sure the hope makes things. better?) #i am gonna. make hot chocolate because it sounds like a marginal improvement over crying without that #the last time i couldn't stand up or i'd start crying harder was yesterday but boy did i not miss it #i thought i might feel better in the morning. ha. ha ha. ha #(like i know this is temporary i'm just. i just. i am so tired and SO stupidly ridiculously incredibly upset) #(like my emotional equilibrium right now is. not)

[coquelicoq]

Natsume: You didn't sleep a wink last night. Why not go and grab a few now? Natori [sparkling]: I'm just fine. It takes more than sleep deprivation to dull my dazzling self, so don't you worry your fussy little head. Natsume [concerned]: Nonsense like that is exactly what someone suffering from sleep deprivation would say! Sensei: Oh really? Has he been sleep-deprived every day of his life?

so i've been watching the natsume dub -

#sensei referring to matoba as the 'pirate-princess-tightrope-walker'????? PLSSSS #sensei to natsume about matoba: your wussy little punches won't do jack #also yes sensei he probably has been sleep-deprived every day of his life. this man is a dumpster fire #thanks to qserasera (thank you qserasera!!!) i've been revisiting the natori and matoba episodes #i had started a rewatch earlier this year but got sidetracked early in season 2 so i'm picking up from there #so to refresh my memory i read through the episode summaries i had written for season 1/early season 2 #and got SO EMOTIONAL??? just from reading the summaries? what the fuck??? #me earlier today: i can't reread le petit prince right now because my heart can't take it #also me: tra la la let's see what natsume is going to do to pulverize my soul into powder today #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #natori shuuichi #my posts #anyway i probably would never have tried the dub except that someone put some clips of english dub matoba on here #and i was OBSESSED with the voice acting??? #i'm so glad i decided to try it because so many of the line readings are just delightful #natsume and sensei's bickering especially #i don't love madara's youkai voice. and i like the japanese voice playing touko a lot better than the english voice #but it's nice to be able to listen and like do the dishes at the same time! i love subs but you can't really multitask #i guess since this is the dub i should be calling him master not sensei but i'm too used to sensei #i must say though that i'm really enjoying natsume calling him 'master kitty cat' in full earnestness #i don't speak japanese so i wasn't getting the full effect from 'nyanko-sensei' #i get now why tanuma was so embarrassed

[balkanballad]

had a day that made me think oh that was a bit heavy on the symbolism, wasn't it

#j. talks #went to visit my brother in his uni city and also connected it with an event there #I know this event because I went there once with a uni course that of course was with my fave former prof #so I know she's usually there but it's a bigger city and Friday and there are a lot of things at different locations #chances are not zero but I thought come on if anything it will be casual running into her #well as I was waiting with my brother and a whole crowd of people to be let in who do I hea #and see :))) yeah it's my fave prof. and I told my brother and he told me to go and say hi but there were so many people already talking to #her and also going there and saying hi so I simply couldn't. I literally froze our shoulders were nearly touching but she wasn't even facin #me and taking and I just followed my brother and he was like??? #what was that?? and I didn't know. and he asked my why I looked so shameful out of all the emotions I chose shame #and I don't know. I don't know why shame I consuming me no matter where I go. but she was busy and imagine I go up and she has no idea who #am anymore. they had to burry me right there and then. so that was that :) now #the name of that street of the location burned into my memory as I was facing the wall well it's the name of [redacted] who I never really #get over and it's been 10 years now soon. and we had a similar experience in December :) where I would have loved nothing more really than #to talk (in Decembar definitely also other things that I miss on some days very much) but I barely got a wave #so yeah :) I actually had a great day but I am more than overwhelmed. I feel like crying and hiding #taurus season is apparently not here to save me? idk #is this all about wasted potential and shame stopping me? maybe. but how the fuck do I get it out of me

[dinitride-art]

You’ve heard of: this fanfiction is written better than I could ever even attempt to write.

Now get ready for: this fanfiction is above my reading level.

#I am crying about how overwhelming it is to read good literature #holy fucking shit #sometimes people need to write books #because I need to read them six times #and annotate them #and desperately search for meanings that were always there #but may not have been intended #sorry I’m feeling a lot of emotions right now

[songofwizardry]

hey there's a lot of shit out in the world but like. there's also 300k fanfics written as labours of love and exuberant comment threads on art that point out and gush over little details and there's people who spend hours sewing tiny details on their cosplays and there's fragments of poetry that get shared over and over and bring emotions over and over and there's entire communities of people built around 'we loved a story together' or 'we made a story together' and there's people poring over every line in a work and building theories together and there's getting together with your friends to have ridiculous fantasy adventures every week and yeah. there's some good stories here too yknow.

#text post #my post #yes this post was made immediately after d&d when i am emotional about the absolute fucking luck and joy of getting to do this regularly #but like #yknow not to quote the 11th doctor on you but it's TRUE we are all stories in the end #anyway i've been listening to lilli furfaro's stories a lot can you tell #just like. art and people and shared story and yeah #i got like three ao3 comments from the same person last week cause i'd left a comment on their work #and like. we don't know each other we've never met but now we've gone through each other pages and realised we feel the same way about this #and we have made each other smile with comments multiple times over the last week. that's fucking wild #like you know you watch a cosplay video and you see how many people and how much love and how much togetherness has gone into it #you recommend a book to a friend with your favourite passages underlined #you take part in a fic exchange and you make each other cry with words #you watch your friends roll dice and have emotions and fight and succeed and fail and you build a world together #idk idk i'd say i'm too emotional about this but i think i am the right amount of emotional actually #as lilli furfaro said. stories stitched together are how families are born

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

sacha dhawan appreciation hour i wouldnt have enjoyed that episode nearly as much if it was anyone else playing the master

#like 1) hes Really fucking good #but also 2) he makes a Really good master #hes just like i will hold 100 emotions inside my body at the same time #34 of which dont have names yet and 17 of which are actually radioactive #no but for real the master had such a big part?? like a Lot to carry #and like a lot of different..... things #too #like hes really versatile right? #like i love him in the great too hes really good there too but this episode woo #this episode was a lot #and a lot of it was the master #like the master yaz and the doctor right? #anyway he did a good job hes a really good master #he really carried like whole chunks of it #which now that im thinking abt it he also carries like half of the timeless children sjdjdjf #anyway hes great im glad he was the master

[iguessitsjustme]

I need you all to know just how much I love Tinn's parents, but especially his mother. I could write a whole essay about her and why she's amazing

#my school president #my school president the series #my school president bl #i have many thoughts and feelings and emotions #but i also have tendonitis and a bad back and sitting and typing is not great for me right now #but i also had a lot of caffeine today so i may not sleep tonight #so if i can't fall asleep i will might just say fuck the pain and write out my thoughts #using my one currently functional hand #i'm currently a mess in more ways than one