#I have my men so we're okay

[roaldseth]

You see, I have two hands. One is for hunting. One is for fishing. I am taking them both to a Cabela's.

#my hunting hand holds Z'aanta #my fishing hand holds Kenneth #we are outdoorsmen #Octopath Traveler #Champions of the Continent #Octopath CotC #Kenneth #Serenoa! Fry up a Wolffort char back home style for this man ASAP! #reporting that I am enjoying CotC #I have my men so we're okay #his max boost laugh gives me joy #like yaaahs f ck it up Kenneth!

[fiendishartist2]

the fact that martin is like "teehee im so nice and i want everyone to be happy and safe :)" until anyone even LOOKS in jon's direction is so funny to me

(image 1): "let's gouge our eyes out and run away together"

(image 2): "it was the most romantic thing i've ever heard" "martin i think smth's wrong with us"

(image 3): "i think the boss has something going on w/ that police woman~" (gripped w/ jealousy)

#top ten jealous bitch moments #its everything to me #i screamed when jon told him that oliver brought him back to LIFE and martin was like 😒 wow other men are reanimating you? okay... 🙄 #like girlie he was DEAD!!!!! #nothing stops the will of a petty bastard and i respect it <3 me too martin #my art #doodle #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #timothy stoker #jonmartin #i bought a tablet earlier!! so no drawings yet bc i still need a laptop but we're inching closer #*a drawing tablet #v excited tho i cant wait to have my own tablet with a screen :D

[fictionadventurer]

*

#okay i promise i'm going to get off tumblr and actually get something decent done #but i just have to mention that i started reading 'thief liar lady' #the cinderella retelling where she's pulling a con #which i did not have high expectations for because that concept screams 'we're going to prove how dumb the original cinderella story is' #so i have to give it credit that so far it's pleasantly surprising me by pulling back every time it's about to do something stupid #within the first page or two we have 'they say the slippers were glass and the carriage was made of a pumpkin which is so dumb' #which seems like standard cinderella bashing but it's also framed as an explanation of the magic system #as in 'this is a waste of magic based on the rules' not 'this story is stupid and my 'real' one is better' so i can live with it #we have the enemy prince she's trying to con but he's not a dumb strawman royal #he's actually a sweet guy and a shrewd diplomat #all the royals are actually getting credit for talents as well as flaws #no strawmen in sight (i still shudder to remember 'just ella') #it feels like real politics #and there is *so much* politics and i am eating it up #(which makes me realize that one of the reasons i love cinderella retellings is that there's a lot of potential for politics) #we did have a scene where she goes into the throne room and meets a strange disheveled nobleman lounging on the throne #which made me roll my eyes because you could not have had a more obvious 'meeting the ya love interest' scene #but then there's a scene where she's like 'i don't care about embroidery' #and i internally groaned #but then she's like 'but i do like the embroidery circle because it's relaxing to be away from the men for a while' #so to my delight i could cancel the 'not like other girls' alert #the queen is feminine and her social skills are presented as a vital political skill #the swearing is really stupid and out of place and brings the book down #and i know that there'll most likely be something that makes me stop reading it before the 25% mark #but i do want to give the book credit for pleasantly surprising me #i'm liking it more than i otherwise would because of all the ways i was expecting it to disappoint me

[skitskatdacat63]

I don't think I'll ever reach the peak gender again of wearing a 3 piece suit to prom

#CATIE MOMENT OF ALL TIME ACTUALLY #god i want my own suit so badly #it had suspenders and everything....god.... #catie post covid gender is great actually. suit for prom. mens type grad pics #it was all very scary to be like uhhhh yes suit please! and have the workers be like oh okay! np :) #most slayful actually was me picking a tie to match my bestie's dress and we're both like hmmmm idk if its exact #and then the pics its literally exactly the same shade 😎 #and gah the other prom w all my male friends and all of our suits is just very :) #i look at those pics prob every month and im like wow :) they're my fav pics ever i think #and then the gender of my friend being tired of wearing her heels so she made us swap shoes 😭 #there's no reason now to wear a suit so :/ next grad i guess! #catie.rambling.txt

[bumblingbabooshka]

The truth comes out

#was doing studies from reference and saw this tweet and went yep perfect #I've been slowly watching ds9 (listening while I draw) and I like it~!! #Odo was nice to a little girl in one and Kira was adorable&pretty&amazing in all of them #Sisko is iconic I love his voice he and Janeway should talk in their theatre-ass tones #When Winn[?] came into his office like hmm some people are under the impression that we're.... #and Sisko went 'Eeenemies~??' I was like DAMN... #I love Winn[?] she's such a good villain she talks so SNEAKY!!!!!! #Odo is cute...'women don't react to me in that manner' OKAY. DO MEN?? #the guy Kira's dating is SO boring I can't even hate him he's just SO bland he's OATMEAL he's YOUTH PASTOR #Anyway....Odo's gender is fluid and Tuvok's gender is always the same but too nuanced for human understanding #I know most ppl don't know Tuvok enough to have this opinion but on my blog I have tested this theory and it's proven true #ds9 #ds9 art #st voyager #st voyager art #star trek trans #Odo's 'women don't react to me in that manner' ass VS Tuvok having to fight beautiful women off with a stick #the two genders #bea art tag

[annalyticall]

To be honest I think I'm starting to become so apathetic to gender that I could possibly be non-binary but at the same time I am also just apathetic enough to not care about changing my pronouns or doing anything differently about how i present to people

#long gender rant incoming but i've never not identified as a woman and I'll probably always be one #but also i don't think i identify so much as a woman that i find it to be so drastically different to being a man? #like i never identified as a man either and never will but also like. idk we're all just people man #it's the roles we impose on ourselves that makes it seem like there's such a chasm there but there's not #like sure i'm sure on some level being a woman predisposes me to behave certain ways #but i was also fortunate enough to be raised in a household where my gender didn't bar me from playing with or liking things deemed for boy #so when i gravitated towards engineering and action movies and video games i mingled a lot more with boys than i did girls #not to be a 'not like other girls' girl but just because i naturally wanted to surround myself with people of common interests #and that just kind of normalized for me sharing space and thoughts with men as an equal #and sure sometimes men in particular piss me off but mostly just the men who subscribe to the bs role they were given as a 'man' #like the ones who don't think they could possibly relate to me because I'm a woman #like fuck that. obviously. but i also find it hard to identify with movies like barbie that draw such a clear divide between genders #like i remember my biggest problem with the movie is that very rarely did it feel like the kens and barbies ever genuinely liked each other #i know that wasn't the point of the movie. it is a critique of gender roles and the patriarchy so relationships were not the focus #but i also couldn't really see myself in the barbies and i found it kinda hard to fully immerse myself in the message of it #idk. all this to say i am a woman but sometimes i wish i didn't have to make a big deal about it #oh yeah okay no wonder i'm bisexual

[aeide-thea]

what if this year i gave up on even gesturing at ""passing"" and instead embraced the world of weird unisex natural-fiber garments available on etsy 🤔

#like. they have unisex wool so-called harem pants!! #(i want to do more reading abt different cultures' versions of men's/unisex drop-crotch pants but a ten-second google was weirdly unhelpful #(actual info drowned out by listicles basically. will have to find some real books or something) #(specifically i like when they're almost a triangle‚ as opposed to like‚ just really full-cut trousers that look more western) #i have gotten so much flack from my family over the years for liking that style of pant #(which like. okay. you think it's ugly. i get that but like. WHY do you think it's ugly.) #(is it perhaps possible yr taste has been shaped by western standards.) #and i stopped wearing the summer-weight pair i used to have when i started vaguely trying to pass #but like. lately my gender feelings are mostly 'i'm an agender gremlin creature and i'm gonna wear some androgynous clothes about it' #which mostly is like. men's joggers with a hoodie if we're being honest #also some baggy cargo pants with a hoodie. every once in a blue moon the hoodie gets swapped out for a baggy wool sweater. #but i gotta say i kind of love the idea of baggy dropcrotch pants (also with hoodie) #and now you tell me i can even get my winter wool freak on about it?? amazing. #anyway we'll see but i'm having fun looking at all the unusual-by-normative-western-standards woolens etsy wants to show me #feels good feels organic etc (but like. in many cases literally lmao) #sartorial #journaling

[sprinedankle]

damn nobody gonna steal your girl fucking damn You and your delulu ass can gtfo

#“i dont like her.. hmm intuition or am i very delulu” Shut up literally shut up #shes my best friend we literally do not do anything weird like those REALLY crazy “friendships” #i've known her for 5 years Who are youuuuuu #listen if i were in a relationship i would be a bit delulu too but i don't talk shit about my partners friends behind her back ? #and you said you dont even have a reason to hate me aand you dont know why you do Ok then shut up #we're not going to stop being friends just because you're a little craycray #dont forget you play with your gf's insecurities talking about real/fictional men all the time #like oh hes so hot i wish he was my bf i wanna do this and this to him #knowing she feels bad about that uhhh okay whos the weird one here #okay sorry about the rant bye

[neverendingford]

.

#contemplating the existence of loving yet uncommitted relationships. relationships of mutual convenience not romantic but still not platonic #tag talk #like. I want intimacy. I want to love and be loved. but the usual understanding of that is that you are committed. you are locked in. #taking a break from a relationship is code for “we're breaking up”. there's is no getting out without destroying the bond #I wonder if the classic Tom Cruise c love a woman but next movie she's dead“ trope could be seen as a version of that. #a socially acceptable way to love someone until you're done and then move on to the next thing. #a lot of my hookups have been a one time deal even though I would have liked to see them again. because they got too attached. #people see love and presume romance. people see openness and presume emotional connection and commitment. #if your friend is having a rough time and needs to disappear for a week. that's okay. but a partner suddenly can't. #there's less permissable distance in a romantic relationship. #why can't I do the classic spaghetti western thing? ride into town. help out and be appreciated for it. and then leave when I feel it's time #cue that magnificent seven quote that's like “cowboys are like the wind and farmers are like the land”. there are different ways to live #and social interaction is a numbers game. meeting people until you finally find someone you're compatible with. #and the more particular or non-standard you are. the more your success pool narrows. or at least that's how it feels #I know the reality is that there's more relationship diversity out there than it seems. because divergence is suppressed and hidden. #but that contributes to it being harder to find. more difficult to seek. more culturally shameful to pursue. #I don't think I've ever seen a fwb relationship in media that's not either played for laughs or turned into a romance eventually #the classic “men want fwbs and women want a committed relationship” ☠️ it's not a concept that gets taken seriously. #I just.. ugh. I feel like I'm pushing against the entire weight of my upbringing because what I innately desire is so far from acceptable #and I've unlearned so much self criticism and policing. but there's so much more to go and I just. ugh. it's so exhausting

[snekdood]

sometimes it feels like ppl on here think ppl who are stern and assertive are shitty and its like... im sorry but ive been walked on all my life, if im not stern and assertive ppl treat me like shit. 

#being bubbly and smiley and welcoming has only welcomed people who want to use and abuse me into my life #id love to be if i didn't feel like people were going to manipulate my kindness #and its not lost on me that im treated like an asshole for this probably bc some ppl just see me as a grumpy hysterical half-woman #even trans ppl who would tell me they dont but show me they do still feel that way about me lmao #ppl rly aren't prepared to discuss how trans men are effected by misogyny in and outside of our communities #we're seen as essentially ugly unsavory women #the woman 'its okay to hate bc they're problematic in x way even iof they aren't we need to find a way all trans mascs r problematic' #'so we have an excuse to keep ostracizing them' #bc once you dismiss someone as a woman you hate whos problematic its a free for all. for some reason yall will let your masks down #entirely on allegedly problematic people who are percieved as women. #like yall are trying to get it all out as quick as you can on trans men on how misogynistic you can be so then you can go 'well ur a man so #u dont experience misogyny lololol gotem anyways lets keep treating them like how society treats women they hate' #and then once it becomes mainstream that its not cool to hate all dudes including transmascs whom you've decided are somehow worse than cis #men- yall will slide into the shadows pretending you didn't do shit or contribute to shit going on here #but if brought up- you'll panic and scramble to find reasons to justify ur behavior. recycling problematic things those transmascs #supposedly did that are either dated and have been addressed and the person has changed or changed their mind since then or #shit thats been disproven and was never real to begin with #and yall dont want to sit in the silence acknowledging what u did at all so you'll keep deflecting and ignoring it forever #bc facing the reality that you've hurt someone for some reason is really hard for ppl on here

[transxfiles]

every day i'm so so tempted to just shake my dad by the shoulders and say "please just realize you're bisexual already it will make things so much easier for everyone"

#he's a very firm believer of ''but EVERYONE is interested in women AND men right? like that's just standard'' and i'm beating my head #against a wall in the corner. dad please i mean this from the bottom of my heart take it from your dyke child #that is NOT the case. PS this is my dad who's also famous among my friends for reacting to my outing like... #''we're all attracted to people of the same gender at a young age and its normal i'm just sad bc this is going to make your life even #harder i wish you were able to repress that part of you and find someone of the opposite gender like i did.'' #rough approximation of what he said (like VERY ROUGH approx) but yeah lmao. we have a complex relationship #fr he's actually a very good dad imo he just. man this guy needs to learn that not everyone has bisexual thoughts and that #maybe he should reexamine that part of himself. he also flirts randomly with male coworkers sometimes and im like 😭 #i was in the car with him the other day and he got a call from one of his male coworkers and i put it on speakerphone for him #and was quiet - we do this all the time we're he has Important Work Chats on speaker and family members are completely present while #they're happening but we just don't say something - so the coworker didn't know i was there and it was like 24ish minutes of Important Work #Chat and then my dad said ''okay bye matt'' and the coworker said ''bye babe'' LIKE??? and my dad just was like #''haha he's one of my best friends :D'' dad please what is happening. what is going on right now what is happening. #this has gotten SO derailed from the original topic but uhm yeah. #bi wife energy but it's bi dad energy and it's just me desperately trying to explain to my dad what bisexuality is. #cricket.chatterbox

[the-ace-lesbians]

People liking my posts dealing with trans positivity or misogyny is always so difficult because a lot of Unideal People have left annoying ass comments on it, so I always have to go through every blog that interacts with whatever the post in question is to make sure the first thing on their blog isn’t ‘FEMALES ARE PUSSYBOSS BABE XX QUEENS’ with the labrys flag and 50 posts in a row about how proud they are to be t3rfs or epic owns of posts asking t3rfs not to interact where they interact and make fun of the person for asking them not to interact.

#sometimes it is goddamn exhausting but i'm really good with just. #letting my eyes glaze over :relieved: #i tried looking into the points once #back when i was new to trans rights and everything #and i thought uhhh hey this is. mean. they sound like theyre being mean. #and though i didnt know it yet maybe my frustration might have uhhh #been because i didnt WANT to be a pussyboss queen who was pRoUd of my uterus #i wanted to be a gnc butch who grew facial hair and had a hysterectomy because i didn't want kids #so having these other women go #'but you HAVE to be acceptably gnc you have to be ACCEPTABLY butch if you look TOO masculine you're just like the MEN!!!' #or at least the spaces that i saw back then that became 'the worst' for me #made me go 'why the fuck would i side with you then???' #anyway that's my rant of the day. i think the worst of a community should be taken into consideration. #and the worst of i see of that community is (checks notes) bullying children struggling with their identity and siding with jkr #and the worst i see of this community is (checks notes) someone takes E and realizes theyre not a woman and now they have breast tissue. #which...im sorry but thats Nothing that's just Nothing at all we should love and appreciate all forms we can take dont be a pussy. #there's nothign sacred and unqiue about our nAtUrAl fOrMs we're weird ass animals who learned we could modify our bodies and we should. i #it's a BODY. it's a VESSEL. if taking hormones is bad then so is dying your hair or piercing your nose or getting your appendix out #in short shut the fuck up please god jesus christ #okay seriously now that's it #deerly loved #transphobia #transmisogny

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I wish I could forget Alice Isn't Dead so that I could experience it for the first time again, cuz that podcast was fucking life changing for me.

#if you haven't listened to it. please listen to it. spoilers ahead #okay first its starring Jassika Nicole and she's an amazing amazing actress. she does so many of the voices herself #like. mimicking voices of the thistle men and other characters. where its obviously her but her being other characters #if that makes sense #shes so talented #it also has roberta collindrez (mightve spelled that wrong) and i am infinitely gay for her and her character #oh and jassika's character (keisha) is a whole ass lesbian who's searching the country for her wife who's gone missing #its got monsters. gays. a young southern child that i want to adopt. breaking into a police station #one of the last scenes in the whole podcast. sylvia (southern teen that i love so much) becomes an oracle #i wont explain it because it is much too much for these tags but when she says 'i want you to know i chose this' i cried #i legitimately cried #and the last last scene where alice and keisha are living out their lives as a happy couple. when they have a daughter and name her sylvia #i cried then too #and the scene about making pizza together... god. life changing #idk if scene is the right word for a podcast but you get the idea #i told my gf that if we have a daughter we're going to name her sylvia after this character #god i love that podcast. i desperately want to listen to it again with fresh ears

[inkskinned]

it's because the bear wouldn't kill me just for being a woman. the bear doesn't kill me for fun. the bear can be shouted at, and will leave me alone. the bear won't make a tiktok complaining about how i crossed to the other side of the path when i saw him coming. if a bear kills me, it's just being a bear: it cannot understand logic. it is not acting out of malice - just fear or hunger.

bell hooks once wrote about how porches might be the only outside space left for women - it is still the domain of the house while it is also outside-but-safe. when i am in the woods, i am in the bear's home, and he has a right to defend his property. outside spaces - anywhere at night, certain parks in the day - those are often implicitly "owned" by men. i cannot explain the feeling of knowing when you have entered a man's "territory." you walk into a place and just know you are in their space. you get a sick sense - you're in danger.

the other day a group of about 8 men were fooling around in the woods while i walked my dog. i had to go around, take the extra 3 miles just to avoid them. it's okay, i like walking. this wasn't even a #feminism moment. it was just a tuesday.

what a plain and easy question. only one of the situations is seen as a tragic accident. i would rather die and have a park bench erected in my honor rather than have my family questioned about why they let me, an adult, walk in the woods in the first place when i should really be at home in the kitchen.

i worked in retail and food service. i have had women say and do absolutely heinous and abusive things to me - not because i was a woman, but because i was there, and they were angry. the way men treated me when angry was different - it was because i was a woman. you can always feel the difference, how there's an undertone of i'd hurt you worse if i could get away with it. i keep seeing people try to cite stupid statistics. why is there always a strange rage whenever women agree on things? like men can argue their way out of our lived experiences? it isn't a buzzfeed quiz - which of these traumas are you? 10 super cute ways not to fear strange men.

i have actually (thrice!) seen a bear in the wild, by the way. i died each time, obviously, and am a ghost writing to you. (it was scary but completely and utterly fine). the second encounter was a black bear with her cub. she looked at me like - do we have to do this or are we good? my dog was busy sniffing a bush, completely nonreactive. i felt like i was in a sitcom: feminist poet reacts - does she actually mean she'd choose the bear? my only thought was - she's so beautiful. her paws are massive.

and there's a part of me that feels the rage spinning out in a corner. why do we have to come up with quippy little comments in order to teach men empathy. would you rather die in a car accident or due to a mugging? and would you rather your house burn down due to an electrical fire or due to arson? gee willikers - it's almost like we're human people, and want to risk the accident versus the intention.

i would rather my last thought be oh shit, a bear rather than i'm a person too. why doesn't that matter? why don't you care?

#writeblr #warm up

[teaboot]

One of the best parts about working at a sex shop is the employee discount, and yeah that means excellent deals on sex supplies but that's not the big brain part.

You come to my house. Something is cooking in the kitchen- it smells wonderful. What is it? It's novelty dick-shaped pasta. I've set up a sensual sexy Italian dinner. There are candles set up on the table. They're melting too fast, dripping everywhere- they're low temp waxplay pillar candles. For dessert, I serve you a delicious ice cream topped in penis-shaped rainbow confetti sprinkles and strawberry body paint drizzle, and afterwards, serve coffee with roasted hazelnut warming lube.

We play a board game while we drink. It's sexy monopoly. It's your turn. You roll the dice. They come up as 'whisper into' and 'butt'. I lost the original dice. We're using the sexy dice. You move four spaces.

After dinner, I run you a bath. A bubble bath. The bubble gel? Sensual ocean breeze. There are candles lined up around the tub. The scent is overpowering. Why? They're three-in-one fruit flavored massage oil candles. I'm using so much. It's so wasteful. Do you want to shave? I have conditioning shave cream that smells like limes. And an electric body razor, but you can't use that in the tub.

How about a bath bomb? You toss one in. It's cherry blossom scented. As it dissolves, three sexy bath sex suggestion cards fall out. They're all variations on doggy style, probably because fucking in a bathtub is probably the easiest way to break your hip.

The water cools. You get out an dry off with a novelty towel. If you wrap it around your chest, it looks like you have gigantic tatas bursting through the fabric like the Hulk.

You walk into the bedroom. I'm there, reading an instructional book titled "The Housewife's Guide To Every Day Stripping". I'm wearing a neck pillow designed to look like a massive curved weiner. Also a pair of fake leather bondage leggings and an oversized men's christmas T-shirt that says "Jingle My Bells" across the front.

I see you come in. I put down the book, take off the pillow. Offer you a massage. You accept. I already burned up all the massage candles so I pop a new bottle of CBD massage oil that says something wrong about Chakras on it. It's very gritty. That's because there's little chunks of amethyst in it for some fucking reason. It's fine, though. You say you don't mind.

I don't do massages very often. It's bad. You end up more tense than before. One of your muscles starts to cramp- it's okay. I whip out a bottle of Lidocane topical masculine performance numbing spray. You immediately feel like your shoulder went to the dentist. It's not ideal, but it's better than cramping.

You're not in the mood to bone after that. Which is good, cause I'm actually pretty asexual, but it hasn't come up yet so I'm relieved to avoid the conversation. Instead we get ready for bed. (The weather is terrible, and I insist you stay over.) I set up the futon, then realize it smells like cigarettes from the previous owner and shyly ask if you wanna cuddle in my room. You're down.

I crawl under the covers, placing my penis-shaped pink glitter pride bottle on the side table in case one of us wakes up thirsty. Once you're settled in, I turn off the glowing bare ass night light and the room goes black.

It takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust, but when they do, you look up at the ceiling. It's dotted all over with little green flourescent lights. Are they plastic stars? No. I've pinned up a thousand glow in the dark condoms. God bless

[a-b-riddle]

Part Four

Can't stop thinking about reader losing her cool.

"So we're closed, John." You said, trying to be cordial.

"Is that all you have to fucking say?" He practically growled before huffing. A humorless chuckle rumbling out of his chest. "I suppose not since you won't respond to any of us."

"Don't do that." You said taking a step back. Trying to create some distance between you and him. John would never physically hurt you. That much you knew.

"What?" He asked. His voice rising as he stepped closer to you. "Be angry that you pulled that shit and then left? Stopped talking to us. Changed your fucking locks. Last thing we even knew about you was that you got on a fucking plane and left. Even your friends wouldn't tell us anything besides that you were okay." "Which considering this came out of bloody nowhere, I find it highly unlikely that you are in any way 'okay'."

You took a deep breath. You wouldn't be intimidated. You wouldn't clam up. You wouldn't cry. You won't go back on your decision. You will be cordial and polite and not unleash everything you want to.

"I understand you might be upset, but it's for the best. It wasn't working out and I wanted to end on somewhat good terms. I would appreciate it if you lowered your voice and stopped speaking to me in that way." You could barely recognize your voice. It sounded so scripted. So robotic. But it was something you had been telling yourself. Excuses you had been telling yourself.

Because if you told yourself the truth. The picture you would paint would tell a different story. It wouldn't highlight the fact that John spoke to you like he was one of your men or that Johnny had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. It wouldn't show what a flake Kyle was or that Simon was well and truly a mean-spirited person.

It would show how you weren't worth it. Four possible men. Four possibilities of happily ever after and none of them chose you. That no one ever did and no one ever would. You weren't worth it. You weren't loveable.

It wasn't right, but it was what the voices had been telling you late in the night. When you would crawl into your cold bed. The silence of the room not filled with John's steady breathing or the sound of Kyle's heartbeat as you laid you head on his chest. The absence of Johnny's occasional snoring or whatever Simon was watching playing in the background of your dreams.

In the void, all your dark thoughts came back at you.

"Upset?" He asked, his voice still louder than you would have liked. "An understatement considering the stunt you pulled."

"You think it was a stunt?"

"So Johnny thought with his dick and didn't plan things out. You should have told him instead of crying to Simon and then pulling this shit." "Christ, I knew you were still young, but I didn't take you for that immature."

"You know what?" "I'm done." "I am so fucking sick of making excuses for you all." "You want to act like I'm the immature one, John?" "You are 35-year-old man who cannot separate his work from his work like. You have continuously talked to and down to me like I am one of your men, only to turn around and always blame your shitty fucking attitude on work. I get that your job is stressful, but I did not sign up to be your verbal fucking punching bag."

"And this come and fucking go incident with Johnny. It has been a consistent issue with him coming over just to fuck. I've asked him for that last six months that 'hey, we've been seeing each other for a year and a half, I would love to meet your family' and suddenly the dates stop. He doesn't ask to see me until after 7 PM. He brings food occasionally, fucks me and leaves. Sometimes before I even wake up."

"And the only reason Kyle is the person I am the least pissed off with is because I haven't even seen him." You took a step closer, not noticing how the anger in John's eyes had softened. "I have not seen Kyle in weeks, to no fault of my own. I stopped reaching out to make dinner plans after the third time he canceled on a date night when I was either on my way or already at the restaurant."

"And Simon?" You scoffed. "Well, it doesn't really matter. After all, as he said I get mine. You all make me cum which is supposed to magically erase how shitty you've all been as partners. It's supposed to erase the nights I've cried myself to sleep debating on whether or not there was something wrong with me. How I'm not good enough to meet anyone else in your lives like some dirty fucking secret. How none of you can even bother to pencil me for a group dinner so I can tell you a publishing house picked up my book. How at some point you all stopped caring or maybe never did."

You took a breath. Blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay.

You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't cry.

"As Simon said it best, I should have known that spreading my legs wouldn’t end with one of you putting a ring on your finger.”

For once, John was silent. Unsure of what to say. An apology starting to form at the tip of his tongue before realizing 'sorry' wouldn't cut it. Not this time.

Had he really been that sharp with you? He knew that there were times he had gotten short, but he almost always apologized immediately after. If not at the very moment he took in your crest-fallen face, then definitely later. But he almost always told you he was sorry. Didn't he?

"So as I said," you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "I'm closed. We're done. Now get out." Your face held no sadness. Even though your eyes were nearly full to the brim with unshed tears, you weren't sad.

You were finally angry.

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