#I just realised this and it makes me very happy

[starlightshadowsworld]

Jason Grace who wonders why Percy gets his memories back but he doesn't. Why Percy was allowed to grow up with his mother.

But Jason was stolen from his.

Percy gets to grow up surrounded by those who genuinely love him. People who love him enough to search for him when no one looked for Jason.

Percy gets to joke around with his father while Jason has never met Jupiter. The closest he's gotten to him is Zeus who very openly doesn't like Jason.

Percy even gets a sister and Jason loves Thalia but they're basically strangers.

Everything Jason's been told was all a lie. Everyone who's ever loved him was from afar, the only relationship he's ever had was all fake.

But he doesn't say it because he cares about Percy, because he deserves the best. He wants to be happy for him. Jason is at his side, helping him through his trauma of Tartarus.

And feeling horrible for any feelings of jealously and bitterness.

Because Percy's suffering, his life is far from perfect. He's getting the life he deserves. Percy's going to New Rome University. He's got the girl and love of his life.

He's going to live a more peaceful life. And it's everything Jason wants but never will have.

He knows that, he knows that even after leaving Camp Jupiter.

Jason has nothing to lose. His friends will move on and it's not like Camp Jupiter will ever mourn him. No achievements he gets will ever matter.

He realises the true differences between them is that Percy Jackson is human. He's completly and utterly and painfully human.

In all the ways that Jason Grace is not. He's nothing but a tool and a pawn. He will never know peace, he will never know love and care.

Everything about him from his memories to his personality was all manufactured. Jason was made for a purpose, designed to fall at the right moment just like a domino.

And it's time Jason accepts that. It was nice to pretend, just for a year that he was a person who deserved better.

But Jason knows the truth. So he writes his letters, cleans his dorm and leaves without a second word.

"Hey, Percy? Don't ever stop being you. I hope you have fun at New Rome, the welcome party should be a blast."

"I will but you're er starting to freak me out a bit man... You make it sound like you won't be there with me even though I invited you."

"I'm glad, that we got to meet. Maybe we'll meet again some day."

#jason grace #heroes of olympus #percy jackson #trials of apollo

[king-krisu]

Super deep and way too much reading into -analysis of kot kot incoming

Okay but I'm convinced that kot kot is literally it's crazy it's part 2 in that Jere feels like his life is an endless party 365 days a year and he can't escape, and he feels like he's doomed to dance (mut on tuomittu juhlimaan).

I think the first teaser we got will maybe be like the last beat drop where, after he's talked about how draining it is to constantly be in demand and how he can't give himself a break, he goes back to the old "silly family friendly" Käärijä we all know. Bcs that's what the first teaser sounded like, kinda silly and simple lyrics with a sound even kids might like, just like how CCC became popular amongst kids here. And he feels tired and trapped by this persona the chickens, we the audience, have created for him that he feels like he has to live up to. Other artists, 'the smart ones who went to bed', realised earlier than him to rest and to prioritise their own health, while he pushed on and almost burned himself out. Just like ICIP, with the verses being about endless parties and no escape, and the chorus being a bit silly and a mindless party song you wouldn't think twice about.

Also I feel like them using stripping was a way to really hammer home how he's just another entertainer for the chickens to enjoy without having any regard to his personal wellbeing. (I'm not saying that strippers = exploited people, it's just the most blatant way to express that in a visual way). The chickens laugh and drink in the video while Jere provides them something to look at, even though they don't even seem to really pay much attention to his performance anyway. Kinda like how at shows with a lot of 'normies' people only really care to see the silly ccc guy, and don't gaf about his other songs. It also reminds me a little of NYE when families demanded he go and perform CCC for the kids bcs "well why couldn't he just stop by real quick to make them happy", and he did even though it meant 3 performances in 24h for him. Not to mention he had to fly back from sweden and 2 of the performances were outside in -19 degrees.

Idk, to me it just reads a little bit like Jere not being sure how to navigate being extremely popular while having most people in this country not really understand his music, bcs it is a very unique genre. I might be so completely wrong and he could read this while laughing but that's my interpretation of it so haista vittu Jere if you're reading this 🫶🏻

#käärijä #jere pöyhönen #i have a job whah the fuck am i doing writing all this #ITS KOT KOT IT DOES NOT NEED ALL THIS lmao anyway enjoy my dumb analysis of 40sec of a song

[cerise-on-top]

hi! how would Valeria and Kate react if their wife’s got hurt because of their work, both of them working highly jobs and it ended up catching up to their s/o. hoe you are doing well and drink plenty of water! thank you!

-🍒

Hello! Both of them would be absolutely distraught, but would go about it in different ways!

Valeria’s and Laswell’s Wife Gets Hurt Because of their Job

Valeria: Whoever hurt you will wind up tortured and eventually, once she thinks they’ve had enough of their miserable life, will wind up dead. Naturally, the first thing she does is check up on you, see if you’re alright and well, that’s her priority. You’re the love of her life, there’s no one else in this world she wants to see do well. You’ll be admitted to the best hospital nearby and will only get the finest treatment. Once you’re stabilized, that’s when the hunt begins. Whoever hurt you won’t get too far since that bastard’s life will be on the line. Regardless of where they might be hiding, Valeria will find them and show them that death is actually a kind of mercy. She has pretty much everything at her disposal, everything money can buy, this sucker won’t know what hit them. If it’s revenge they want, then revenge they’ll get. Valeria promises you that their head will be on a silver plate. She’s not very good with words when it comes to comforting someone, but she will have that person killed in the most cruel ways she can imagine. In fact, she’ll take the pleasure of torturing them upon herself. Once she’s done, she’ll take some days off, which is surprising since she usually can’t afford that at all. You’ll be under her direct care for those days. Anything you want you’ll get. Afterwards there will be a slight shift in her demeanor, Valeria becomes more protective over you. Sometimes she might even assign some trusted people of hers to watch over you since she can’t afford something like that happening again. While she can’t always take some days off, she’ll try to be closer to you anyway. Always texting you, finding excuses to come home for a day maybe. She just really needs to make sure you’re okay, she wouldn’t know what to do with herself if you died.

Laswell: Laswell will try to be a bit more diplomatic about it at first, trying to coax whoever hurt you out of hiding. This person will be held accountable for their crimes against her world. Naturally, she rescues you first, gets you to the nearest hospital and won’t leave your side until you’re stable again. If it takes you a while to wake up again, she’ll leave to find the fucker and make sure they swim with the fishes. She has a pretty large, efficient network and will find out who it was fairly easily. Once she knows who they are, she won’t hesitate to find out all their past crimes as well, if they hurt you then they must have done some other awful things as well. Once that phase is over, she’ll go to their home herself and have them arrested, put in the worst prison imaginable where the inmates are treated especially badly. She won’t kill them, but she wouldn’t be surprised if they wind up dead anyway. Laswell usually isn’t an evil person, but she does hope that person dies during their time. Their sentence will be as long as possible so there’s no chance of them ever seeing the sunlight again either. Once all of this is over, she, too, would take some days off to spend with you. You’re a priority above all else, so Laswell will want to be there for you, no matter the cost. While she usually isn’t, depending on how severely you got hurt she might become a bit overbearing, a bit overprotective. That overprotectiveness will last for a few months, afterwards she’ll try to give you some space again. However, she’ll always be keeping a closer eye on you, always texting or calling you every once in a while to make sure you’re okay. If she needs to, she’ll put you under her protection officially, but the situation needs to be dire for that to happen. Either way, she’ll be keeping you safe.

#cod #cod x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #fem!reader #I hit over 100k words in my document last night which is so so much #I've written so much for Call of Duty in such a short time it's unbelievable. granted there's one fic I never posted but still #I don't intend to stop now either though it's fun. I'll probably be into cod for a while still anyway so there's that too #besides Valeria and Laswell have me in a chokehold. Farah does too I love them #every time someone requests them I'm very happy. I didn't expect the girls to be this popular though in all honesty #not complaining! it's nice to get to imagine kissing girls. it makes my gay little heart sing #I actually had some art of Valeria and an OC of mine commissioned not too long ago #every time I look at it I giggle and kick my legs a bit #I want her to fluster the everloving hell out of me until I can't speak anymore and am complete mush for her #I know I've mentioned it before but I love women who could absolutely just kill me. and who absolutely would do it as well #cod has some good women. made me realise that older women are also pretty epic #I think I'd melt into a puddle if Laswell ever called me her girl or her wife

[shadowfloofster]

Watching Bad's vod where q!Foolish, q!Cellbit and q!Baghera are trying to set up q!Bad with q!Forever, now with CC!Bad's comment about his character being oblivious in an aromatic way is great

The others talking about who to ship q!Bad with while he sits in his chair, the aromantic and skephalo flag slowly fading into the background because this man will not be with ANYONE unless it's Skeppy

And I love that about him. They're currently talking in metaphors and q!Bad is just "????? I don't understand" and I love him for it.

Foolish: we're talking about the emotions in your heart right now!

Bad: Diamonds are forever!

Either he did that on purpose or that's the best coincidence to ever happen

#I heard the word aromantic and ran with it #Q!Bad is Aromantic now sorry I don't make the rules <3 #Love him for this #Honestly I'm asexual and shipping makes me uncomfortable a lot of the time it's hard to watch some of the streams sometimes #I don't mean like Foolish and Vegetta or platonic Philza and Missa #I mean more like Bad with Forever and Fit and Foolish and Roier #So... non-canon I guess? it makes sense in my head I just can't put it into words #But anyway seeing q!Bad shipped with practically everyone in existence gets really uncomfortable for me #so CC!Bad making his character oblivious in an aromantic way makes me very happy #because it feels like a “he doesn't feel that way at all + doesn't realise others can so he doesn't think of it as even a possibility” thing #I would watch Jaiden but I struggle to watch other's streams anyway as the eggs are currently my main hook #+ my fixation is Dapper mainly #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #just to clarify I do ship Skephalo (I might not like shipping much but I'm not blind!! /lh) #but in a platonic/queerplatonic way #can't describe why though other than it feels more like what me and my queerplatonic partner have than romantic to me

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! You said that you need another vacation after this vacation, so I am not sure, how puppy situation, even if it partual custudy, affecting you ( may be you in panic when he is there and then recovering when he is not, and then round and round? ), but really, If you need another vacation, I hope you know we will be here to support you for it!

It's been nearly 4 weeks now since we got Toby so I feel like I can talk about this with a bit of a clear head.

(Talk of like an actual PTSD meltdown beneath the read-more, including self-harm mention - nothing graphic. There's zero obligation for anyone to read this, especially for folks who don't think authors should ever be honest about being people with issues):

So, I've been kind of quiet about aspects of this, but I have like severe treatment-resistant PTSD and C-PTSD, and puppies specifically are one of my triggers (especially if I'm responsible for them). The reason for that is kind of awful, and I don't really want to talk about some of the things I've experienced/been through that led to that, so let's just move onto the next part. You're kind of right anon, there has been panic while he is here lol.

As a result, I had a severe meltdown the first time I tried to adopt a dog many years ago now. Could not last 24 hours, needed weeks/months to recover.

But I've always wanted to share my life with a dog and I've been in a somewhat better space over the past year or so, and I thought I could maybe handle it better. I told myself 'if I can just get through that 24 hours I'll realise it's okay and it will all work out.' Anon I cannot tell you where this thinking came from, but it was wrong. Idk why past me was kind of naive enough to think this way but here we are.

No, after that 24 hours, it got temporarily better, and then I slammed into consecutive meltdowns, each one worse than the next, until the people around me were afraid for my life. I am still recovering from some of the harm I inflicted on myself during the last three weeks and likely will be for some time to come. The combination of a really intense PTSD relapse, as well as not being able to handle (as an AuDHD person) intense changes to my schedule basically compounded and I broke.

I made the decision to rehome Toby, and first contacted the people around me. Glen's mum said she wanted a dog, and had been specifically looking into dogs like Toby anyway, and so we decided this would be best because then I could still be involved (I love Toby to pieces).

After getting some space, I finally started to adjust, and have gone back to having Toby about 4~ days a week, with a view to going to about 6 days, with one day spent with my mum, or Glen's mum.

Today is the first day I was able to handle having him on my own for around 9.5 hours. And I'm here and able to write about it, so that's progress. He'll be here all day Sunday, and then Tues-Weds-Thurs-Friday. And from there a decision will be made as to where I'm at with my mental health etc.

I'm a bit more hopeful now that I might be able to keep him, but my PTSD is still very very bad. I'm having some nights where I'm simply not sleeping until 7.30am (even if he's not here), and my hypervigilance is crazy. Like, I am having so many auditory flashbacks it's stupid. So this is why I've been saying this break hasn't been very restful or productive. Because my mental health tanked like I detonated a landmine inside myself.

I didn't actually plan the two week break for Toby! That was just a coincidence honestly.

Unfortunately I have a lot of health conditions that respond very poorly to stress, so I'm dealing with those now too. And then additionally, in all of this, I had a breast scan / mammogram / ultrasound that has confirmed a suspicious lump I found a couple of months ago (breast cancer runs in the family), and I suspect I'm going to need a biopsy. I'll find out on Monday if that's the case. That's been in the background and hasn't been helping.

There's some other stuff going on that's not really worth talking about because these are the main things, but that's a good picture I think. It turns out 'just getting through the first 24 hours' doesn't magically make a severe PTSD trigger go away. And that forced exposure is not 'exposure therapy' - that's just reinforcing a trigger.

Anyway! I feel like I'm through the worst of it, and I am seeing glimpses of how my life could be richer if I keep getting through this. But...that's why I think another break. *smiles tiredly.* I have to wait a bit now for the PTSD / C-PTSD symptoms to settle down, and I also need to see what's kind of worsened after this. Realistically, with a relapse to this degree, it could take between 3-6 months to really start recovering, or to at least get back to where I was before December.

I hope with all my heart I can get there with Toby by my side. I love him so much.

(I want to add that Toby has never ever been in a position of harm at any point, and in fact I probably put myself in harm's way for his sake, because I wanted to provide solid continuity of care - in case anyone was worried about that).

Er so yeah! But I've picked up my writing again this week and have been able to do some like...things I'd been neglecting, and I feel more human again, I just hope I get some sleep tonight

#asks and answers #personal #tobermory the cavoodle #that's also why i haven't always consistently been sharing photos #realistically he's spent about 4 days away from us? #and that alone has been enough to kind of help me sort my head out #when i realised it was PTSD that helped too #because i've been able to spot the severe hypervigilance for what it is #and sometimes just being able to name a thing helps #and finally intensive training with toby #has adjusted some of his behaviours very quickly #and he is now a very calm and well-behaved dog already #we just need to do more separation training and then i think i will finally start #settling a bit more #our vet's super happy with where he's at #but...um...you know it's never nice to make your mum cry #because she's scared for you :( #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue

[princeconsortroad]

Whatever you do, don't think about how, in Alex, Henry has a safe person, an interested person, an amused person and a person he loves and who loves him back to rant about Byron's poetry to 🥺

#i have such bad brainrot about them tbh :( #like. #you can see how henry probably ranted to Arthur and Catherine about the poetry he fell in love with #and both genuinely listened bc they were fans too #but when Arthur died. . . Henry lost both people to do that with #bea tries. she listens she does! but she isn't that interested and she isn't as good as faking interest as she thinks #philip and his grandfather are no goes #and pez tries too. . . but it's just not his thing and henry hates to be humoured #so pez doesn't - in agreement with what henry wants #but then as henry gets closer to alex? he realises alex doesn't humour him. . . alex is genuinely interested #and lets him talk as long as he wants and as much as he wants #bc it makes henry happy #and alex loves making henry happy #and when henry is finished ranting? its alex's turn! #just. i love them okay? #and as someone who has no one to rant to about their hyperfixations #henry and alex - but mostly henry - having that person is very important to me #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz #red white and royal blue #rwrb #red white and royal blue movie #rwrb movie #firstprince #mine.

[rosenfey]

I wish I was normal abt being excited over things but bg3 is literally occupying all my thoughts

#ambie.txt #suicide mention #not rly just in case?? I promise I'm OK #I'm so silly for this but this game is so important to me. it keeps me going etc etc #esp gale. I just feel so silly being so in love with a fictional character fhdhdh? #I know it's not silly idk. I'm just v depressed fam #I get so excited and so emotional over this game. it literally surpassed dos2 for me. which has never happened before #it's my absolute fave game now and I just. love it so much. it makes me so happy #idk where I'm going with this I'm kinda tipsy and sad and realising that I can't give up cuz I won't be able to kiss pixelated wizard #ya feel?? idk idk #I just know it's not cringe when adults are very passionate over fictional characters obvi. but I feel like I am?? #lmao I dunno #I should go to sleep lmao

[dallonwrites]

my autistic ass when i would try to explain to my non-autistic writer friends how my ocs don’t just feel like characters/plot devices/narrative tools, they feel like fully fledged people that just live inside my brain who i just have access to for some reason and the stories i write are merely a snapshot into their fully fledged personhood/lives. and that that these feelings don’t mean i’m unaware of my role/agency/responsibility as the writer who has the final say in these characters and how they are written it just means that my writing process feels very intuitive and i can only describe it as “listening” and “getting to know” these people that just live inside my brain in a way that i don’t feel like i can completely elaborate on. and because of this i would actually consider these characters “real” in their own way because the impact and influence they have had on me as a person beyond just my writing is so real and not having them would feel like i’m missing a part of myself 

#DISCLAIMER! when i say autistic i do not mean this is an exclusively autistic experience or that every autistic person will experience this #i mean that its my autism that makes me not just have my characters be my special interest but also feel so intensely about them #and why i have sometimes felt weird talking about my characters with people because i am just experiencing ocs in a different way #to them #also i think one time when i tried to explain this to someone they thought i literally meant that i felt my characters were real #and when i look back on moments like that i am like beloved you need to get yourself some autistic friends #also its 10pm and ive been up since 6am and this was a very emotionally heavy day so im about to post this and log out and we'll see how #tomorrow me feels about that #but anyways the point of this post is i did not realise this was not universal and felt kinda weird about it for a while until i realised #that it is just the autism and i was like wow this is actually very cool of me i think actually #yesterday my bf sent me song links and was like i feel like felix would listen to these #and ive been thinking about this ever since hence the post because that made me so happy bc i was like i feel like you're seeing him as a #real part of me the way i see him as a real part of me

[kkoct-ik]

i think i might be loved

#big milestone here boys #hard to formulate words. but im realising people like me #there are lots of people who know me and they think im cool and worth their time #boyfriend especially is obsessed w me and does so much to make me happy and also just generally exists in my space because he likes it #im awarreee that i often still dont like myself. i get frustrated and defensive and i start seeing anything associated with me as bad #but i am loved i think #kostik speaks #people still feel very distant but in a different way now #the distance feels less harrowing and alienating and now its more like theyre distant because theyre different people #but we still have points of contact and thats very special #nobody is crawling into my lungs to envelop me but theyre inside my space and theyre comfortable #it helps that theyre not looking at me. theyre closer but its not confrontational. no sudden movements. just existing #i want boyfriends bed again this is so unfair

[cerise-on-top]

Hi! Hope you're having a lovely day ✨️

Valeria and Gaz with a fashion designer s/o! Dressing them up and using them as a practice model to test new designs... this has nothing to do with my need to put Valeria in a suit, ofc not

Anon, you're so galaxy brained for wanting to put Valeria in a suit in all honesty! She'd look so good in one because women always look good in suits!

Gaz and Valeria with a Fashion-Designer!S/O

Gaz: He’d honestly be so flattered you wanna use him as a practice model. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a very pretty man and he’s well aware of that fact, but he didn’t think he’d ever get that sort of privilege. The first time you measure him he’s a bit confused, but complies, asking you with a chuckle about what you’re doing. However, as soon as you present him with a jaw dropping suit that leaves every other one in the dust, he’s a big fan. While he may have supported you from the very beginning as soon as he heard that you’re a designer, his support skyrockets as soon as you present him with the first piece of clothing for him to wear. He feels so very fancy wearing it. He may be used to wearing fancy clothing from time to time when invited to certain occasions, such as weddings, but he never really paid much mind to that sort of thing. Once you’ve put the first article of clothing on him, he’ll ask you if you wanna use him as a practice model again at some point. Only if you feel like it, of course. He hopes you’ll say yes, he loves how creative you are and the things you create. You’re a lovely designer who puts their heart and soul into it all, and it shows. Although unprompted and despite it being a bit silly, he’ll also pose and do that one walk models do where they sway their hips. He feels pretty in your clothing. If he can afford it, which he likely can, then he’ll even buy some of the things you’ve made. And yes, he will 100% wear them as well, doesn’t matter if it’s a fish tail or if it’s a shirt with a dragon on it. He unironically loves it and will wear it whenever he can.

Valeria: She chuckles a bit when you ask her to put on some clothing you made. Valeria is a very attractive woman, and she knows it, so she’s not at all surprised when you ask her to put on a suit. She’s worn those before, and every time she has she was turning heads left and right. If you blush while seeing her in a suit then she’ll chuckle and trap you against the wall before letting you continue whatever it was you were doing. Like Gaz she wholeheartedly supports you, and she’ll own every single article of clothing you’ve ever created. While she may not have the time to wear them all every time, you will catch her wearing your creations from time to time, if there’s no danger of them tearing. Valeria’s glad that you trust her enough to want her to try on all your prototypes and will gladly pose like a professional model for you and you only. The first time you measure her she, too, would be a bit confused and would ask you regarding what you’re doing, but afterwards she’s more than happy to model for you whenever she can. She doesn’t have a whole lot of time for that, but the things you do for love. If you ever want a real, professional model, she can arrange one, though, it’s no problem for someone like her. Besides, she has a pretty good eye for fashion as well, so she can give you some hints regarding what could look good and what might be a complete no go. You don’t have to do as she says, but she will point it out if you do. If she ever does find herself having the time and there’s a fashion show that shows some of your clothing, then she’ll watch it and jokingly tell you that she looked better in your clothes than all those models did. If you ever need some creative inspiration then I’m sure Valeria can help you as well, she’s seen plenty of things and is always more than happy to help you. Besides, she can get just about anything as well, so you really don’t need to fret if you wanna feel the fabric of something yourself.

#cod #cod x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #y'all would never guess who got sick again -.- but hey! at the very least I'm doing home office this time instead of resting up! #this request made me realise just how gay I would be for Valeria Garza. the one and only. to wear a suit #I need her to wear a really fancy suit and show herself off because she'd look so so good in it #sometimes I do go on pinterest and look up women in suits just because my heart can barely take it #women in suits are my ambrosia and I am so glad they exist. more women should wear suits in all honesty #maybe next month when I've gotten paid again I will commission someone to draw Valeria in a suit #naturally I will share it here because everyone deserves to see that sort of thing #the thought alone makes my heart sing with joy I think I will do that #Valeria is among best girls and I would force the world to stop spinning just to make her happy

[steakout-05]

not really sure how to start this post but basically, i think i've discovered that i might have a rare plush? ever since i was born i've had this green floppy legs lion plush, and every time i go to search him up online to see what type of plush he is, i can find little to nothing about him except for a couple of old images. here's a picture of the one i have for reference:

and here are some images taken from other websites and listings:

(images from this site, this listing and this listing respectively)

what is known about him is that he was made by the plush brand Bestever in conjunction with John Doze Studios, he's a part of the Liontoons line and that he was in production since at least 2001. other than that though, little information exists on this guy. the only colours i've seen him be produced in are green and orange, and it's unknown what other colours he exists in. there's a couple of websites that show a few of Bestever's plushies, one of which including a high quality image of their logo:

quite a few people do own him and i'm sure plenty of Liontoons plushies do still exist, but it's just the information about him that is very scarce and it'd be awesome if we knew more about him.

there's another vey similar line of plush toys called 'Orangutoons', which are these furry cartoony orangutans that come in many colours. there's a lot more images that show these plushies, including the fact that they were produced in orange, green, blue, purple, mint, red and white, lavender, pink and rainbow. a few special seasonal ones exist as well.

i do find it interesting how we have wayyy more images of this silly guy than we do the Liontoons plushies. i'm hoping more information is found about them soon!! i'd personally like to see an image of a blue Liontoons plush one day :D

#plush #plushblr #stuffed animals #lion plush #does this count as lost media? not sure... maybe obscure media would be better #obscure media #obscure plush #bestever #bestever plush #he kinda looks like garfield honestly #i should draw him in the garfield style #i'll make my first ever fanart for this silly guy #i just realised my liontoons plush has a shorter snout that the other ones! extra rare!! haha #rare plush #rare #forgot to tag those lol #i'm very proud of my liontoons plush i'm happy to have him :) #i'm not exactly sure how old mine is but he's at least as old as me #if not older since he doesn't have a date on his tag #anyway very cool plush

[topaztimes]

Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that

#Giving time... #Still more time... #Wouldn't want to plague any previews #Maybe another filler. Just for some fun #Is this enough? #It certainly is now #Alright start: #I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight #'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state / #/of constant self-loathing #I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea #What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not / #/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed #I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore #I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done #I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though #I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I / #/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward #I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme #Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way #God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs #It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my / #/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days #Literally what am I doing this for #And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with / #/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life #Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me #Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus #I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore #It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until

[technicalthinker]

Since I see a lot of reactions on articles/quotes from the Loki crew and cast, here are some general reminders when it comes to stuff like this;

There are so many people working on a show/movie and everyone make decisions creating the final product we watch. Of course they do a lot of work to unite their visions and make it cohesive, but "contradictions" may still happen. We often talk about the obvious people behind a show, the actors, writers and directors, but there are also costume designers, composers and editors, etc. All of these people can have different perspectives and pull things in different directions, that just sort of comes with the nature of making such a big show.

And then it comes to producing a show itself. Productions are messy. Things get reworked on the spot because what might've worked on the page didn't work in practice, props break and need to be changed, actors can't be in for the day, etc. All of these affect the final products in chaotic ways. Sometimes unpredictable things like this may get in the way of or improve the story.

And finally articles/interviews purpose is to provide this one specific person's perspective and promote the show, or engage fans.

So take these things with a grain of salt. You don't need to base your entire view on the show on statements from cast/crew. Is the line less meaningful because it was improvised? Should we consider an episode to be less canon because it was apparently rewritten a lot from its original state?

Your fan experience will likely be healthier and more fun if you try to mainly engage with the art you have in front of you. If you read quotes from creators and feel frustrated that they are inconsistent with the art - first of all, art is subjective, it just comes with the territory. But my main point of the post is that even if a person is working on the show, it doesn't mean that their view is 100% represented within the text. You don't need to go full Death of the Author here, but you gotta remember there isn't just one author and that author's intent at work here, there is a production, with all that comes with it. And honestly? That's what makes it interesting. All of these visions coming together to create art that we get to take part in, and whatever vision we're getting as a viewer might be something completely unique.

#marvel blogging #loki #loki spoilers #KINDA #marvel #this is a long way to say: you dont need to go death of the author but it is more fun that way #IDK I CARE A LOT ABOUT THIS TOPIC SO I NEEDED TO PUT IT ALL DOWN #ive struggled with this before. getting bummed out by weird comments made by cast or crew but like. it aint HEALTHY. it aint fun. #i wanna be clear this is NOT a 'lokius truthing' post #this is NOT a 'dont worry it is canon dont listen to them!' post #im also feeling a lot for the sylki fans who are being told it was abt their romance when s2 very much downplayed that aspect of the writin #this is just like. #literally a reminder of how productions work #I AM A DESTIEL AND THE HOBBIT TRILOGY ENJOYER. I KNOW WHAT I AM SPEAKING OF. #hearing bts stuff from both spn and the hobbit (AND LOTR) has made me realise how much of the good that is happy mistakes basically #if you get something FUN from cast and crew? ENJOY IT. enjoy that laugh at it and feel seen #but if it makes you feel shitty it might be better to just leave it at the door #like it isnt just more fun and healthy that way i think it leads to more interesting conversations about art #thinking abt how the destiel 15x18 handprint was an accident of them realising they had to change the location of the confession #bc they had earlier fucked up a door and the script had missed it. #and tHEN it lead to the bloody handprint

[lunarharp]

wip thing...

of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)

they mean the world to me

#bg3 spoilers #?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say..... #it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me. #i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee #i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable. #bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen #makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there. #dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it #augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH???? #my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way. #Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3 #I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE #AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY #grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear #truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol #if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life #being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer. #Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this? #For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online #someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this. #why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness? #What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...? #hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!! #i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful. #but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting. #I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself #I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing. #I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come. #Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......

[misspoetree]

You know what I've been thinking about? How we never see Vegas sleep during the entire show, not even in the hospital scene at the end.

We see him wear various outfits themed around ✨sleep✨ - from the obligatory sexy silky Theerapanyakul robe*TM over comfy shirt and pajama pants combinations to the good old birthday suit. We see him sitting on beds, fu...kneeling on beds, lying in beds, we see him knocked out cold on the floor, bleeding out next to the swimming pool. But never actually just...sleep.

And I keep coming back to this observation because it seems to me that that's another brilliant detail of the show, another brilliant show-don't-tell-way to characterise Vegas.

I mean look at Kinn: he feels like he's carrying his father's expectations, the family business, the whole world on his shoulders. He is paranoid and has massive trust issues and yet...he's still able to sleep. Okay, he's sleeping with a gun at first and with his literal bodyguard later (double meaning intended) - but that's beside the point.

We even see Kim sleep. Hell, if we didn't have the scene of him and Porchay dozing on the couch, I would have wholeheartedly believed that he's running on spite, barely contained violence and aesthetics alone. Plotting and sleuthing 24/7, writing music in between. And yet, and yet.

They show us Kinn and Kim and so many of the other characters (Porsche...mostly Porsche 😂) sleep. But not Vegas. Never Vegas.

And I feel like this is a perfectly subtle way to underline how restless Vegas actually is. How he's always trying to catch up with his father's expectations, with Kinn. Always scheming, conniving, conspiring, always trying to proof his worth, to make his father proud. Running desperately after things that remain unreachable. Feeling stuck in his position, failing again and again, feeling useless. Trying even harder. Restless, restless, restless.

A bit like a tiger in a safe house cage, a bit like a dog racing after a fake lure.

So...how could Vegas ever just sleep like a normal person?

#long story short: I have a Vegas is an insomniac headcanon - at least before Pete chooses to stay by his side #oh man looking at my posts from this weekend made me realise: Bible's Wan(der) Day made me think A LOT about Vegas 😂 #I just miss everyone's favourite pathetic meow meow 🥺 #anyways: I feel like there's still so much to explore within the visual language and storytelling of KinnPorsche #and that makes me very happy #kinnporche the series #kinnporsche meta #random kinnporsche thoughts #vegas theerapanyakul #because the kinnporsche brain rot is still real #I SHOULD BE ALREADY SLEEPING BY THE WAY