#I really struggled today for some reason

[indilaras]

Completing my hachapre collection with Fortune!

Happiness Charge set: Lovely | Princess | Honey | Fortune (here!)

ID: a drawing of Cure Fortune from Happiness Charge Precure. She is standing on a pink surface and looking sternly to the side while holding her Fortune Tambourine. Three violet hearts are to her sides, and she is also surrounded by violet lights in mostly smoky, crescent shapes. The background is a dark magenta sky with stars and three blue planets, and the image is framed with a white border. End ID.

#my art #precure #happiness charge precure #cure fortune #pretty cure #precure fanart #hikawa iona #iona hikawa #artists on tumblr #digital art #magical girls #image description #i might post everything together like i did w healpre ones if i feel like it.. not today tho #i really struggled with this one for some reason. kept trying to redo it and nothing's clicking. ended up with a simpler pose

[mossypidder]

I just realized I never posted this and I’m so mad because I love how her design came out and I just love her in general. There are many things I’d like to divulge about her, but on the off chance I ever actually write this story, I’d rather keep them to myself for now. What I will say tho, is that she’s a detective/hunter for the UCR (Unseelie Court Regulations) which, as the name suggests, are responsible for policing peoples and creatures who fall under the definition of Unseelie Court (and both trolls/troll changelings and kelpies do). There’s a completely different justice system that deals with the Seelie Court and non magic folk.

But anyway. Yeah. This is Mable. She’s- she’s a funky little bean, but I love her very much. Also, she needs sleep so bad, bless her-

#Mable art #idk why #but I’m so happy with how her face came out and I keep stopping to just stare at it #i am still trying to figure out how to draw the hair texture I’m going for digitally and make it look good #i drew her traditionally twice today (waiting for natural light in the morning to take pictures and post) #and it came out looking like the texture I was going for #But for some reason I really struggle with it digitally #Anyway #Happy with it overall #character design #monster hunter #monster hunter character design #artists on tumblr #small artist #vintage character design #detective character design #regular style #digital art #young artist #the grey in between #TGB #tgb art

[shower-racoon]

mazes were so much easier today. back in the game

#mazeposting #daily maze #for some reason I just struggled extra hard with yesterday's mazes but I cleared today's mazes at record speeds #yesterday was terrible for mazes but today was really good. not sure why though

[enchantedlandcoffee]

.

#i was just going to leave this but i won't be able to calm down until i post this #hence me saying this in the tags #going into someone's anons and telling them to rethink their priorities regarding something that has nothing to do with you is not okay #going into someone's anons and telling them that they're 'chronically online' and not focusing on the right things is not okay #you have no clue what someone else is going through and what messages like that could trigger #thankfully for me it was just a mental breakdown and tears #the reason i am online so much is that tumblr is currently my safe space. i've got my friends on here and can just be me. and i've tried to #as for my studies #i do them. i try my hardest on them and my hardest to do them. but i struggle with focusing on them and motivating myself to do them which #and for my exams today #i couldn't physically leave my flat i was that anxious. #personal #to delete #i'm not going to turn anon off as i do have some really nice anons that i appreciate #but please think before you send someone something

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT. #anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure. #and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone. #i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:(( #honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug. #im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

[makkie-is-screaming]

.

#Okay so tw cuz im gonna rant about suicide #so back in July I planned on killing myself today #I told myself I needed to try n get better n if I couldn’t that was it #and I’ve tried I really have #and I’m obviously still struggling but not to the extent I was #like I’m depressed n my ed is getting worse #but I’m finally hanging out with D n she’s just so much fun to be around #im calling my bestie more and she sounds genuinely happy to hear from me #im doing a bit better with my parents to n im seeing my cousin more who I’ve missed so much #I have plans for break for the first time in years #im finally getting piercings #it’s crazy cuz even just 2 weeks ago I didn’t think Id be ok today #but I am like today isn’t gonna be another attempt I’m gonna make it #and that’s wild to me bc I was so bad over the summer I was constantly debating it that’s why I set the date #And I don’t think I’m fixed and there’s a big chance I’ll attempt at some point in the future knowing me #but right now I feel like I have a reason to try and I haven’t felt like that in a long time #okay I’m done now just wanted to say that #screaming #tw suicide #tw suicide mention #kinda

[disposal-blueeee]

guess what ! doodles . again

edgar , nny and devi belong to johnen vasquez (even if i only drew nny and devi at the bottom)

scriabin by zarla-s

#vargas #vargas zarla #edgar vargas #scriabin vargas #zarla s #doodles #scriabin #okee dokee ! time to ramble about my life . you can skip the rest of this if you don't want to read . #started these one day before my first day of school and i just finished them today WOAH #i haven't had time to draw for one reason or another #i've had only two weeks of school and i'm already sick of it #my teachers are okay . #i've been interacting with my friends a lot more lately and i realized that that makes me feel really happy ! #overall . everything's been fine these days. #i pretty much gave up on trying to find people with my interests #los fans irl de jthm son puro invento de los papás #what else hmm #i struggled so much with some of these #my art style is still inconsistent af #trying to fix that ... #also halfway through this i realized that everything i was drawing was SO BORINg #i keep drawing the same stuff over and over again #whatever i want to draw some crossovers next #i have some things on mind :3 i'm exciteeeed #hopefully i'm able to draw them tomorrow . #DAMN it's already 3am good night

[froggierboy]

how does my chronic fatigue continue to get worse as i'm treating my sleep apnea? i'm more or less pretty able bodied working a 40 hour week should not put me in a position where i can barely get out of bed when i'm off

#it's really dragging on my mental health bc i literally do not have the energy to do things i want to do #yesterday i vacuumed the hallway and it was like a major accomplishment #all i've done today is try desperately not to fall asleep #i tried telling my new boss i'd like to shorten my workweek a bit once we have the new assistant in #bc i was 32 hours a week until we lost some staff and i was supposed to return to 32hr eventually #and he said i need to be full-time to do tech training #which might be reasonable if he wasnt also putting mr only gets scheduled 32 hours and rarely works more than 20 into tech training as well #literally struggling not to fall asleep while i write this post lol #rye.txt

[cheekblush]

just woke up from a horrible dream about my chemistry final tomorrow 😭

#it felt so REAL i woke up with my heart racing bc i was so scared 😭 #immediately checked my phone bc i thought the exam is TODAY but no today is sunday the exam is tomorrow i need to calm down 😩 #i took a break from studying yesterday & just relaxed the whole day & clearly my subconciousnes is now making me feel guilty for it 😞 #i hate when my worst fears creep into my dreams like please let me sleep in peace i'm already anxious enough 😭 #i genuinely was so scared the exam was today & i'm completely unprepared bc there's still so much i need to study 😭😭😭 #in the dream i showed up to the exam & there was a delay bc they didn't print out enough copies but some students already got theirs #so i asked someone if i could look through their exam paper & i was absolutely mortified when i didn't know a single answer #so then i started to feel nauseous & talked to my teacher outside the classroom saying i was feeling unwell & he got PISSED #we always have to sign a paper right before the exam if we feel healthy/fit enough to participate #so i guess dream me thought if i told my teacher about it he would be understanding & let me leave but he got so angry 😭 #he said he saw me flipping through the exam paper (which obviously isn't allowed) & that's the only reason i'm feeling unwell now #then i confessed that i didn't have much time to prepare for chemistry bc of all the other exams which made him even angrier #then he basically humiliated me in front of the entire class telling them i'm retracting my exam participation in a joking manner #he kept saying i have to repeat another year & making fun of me... i was crying so much in front of the entire class 😭 #he wouldn't answer my questions anymore & then another teacher came & told me to leave & that's when i woke up in panic 😫 #usually i never remember my dreams & i'd rather it stays that way instead of having such horrible dreams 😭😭😭 #i hope this isn't a bad sign & that i'll manage the exam tomorrow.. i'm honestly so scared i just want to pass 😔 #the dream was honestly so scary.. i could see my teacher's face SO CLEARLY & all the little mannerisms he always does... #like he always has to turn everything into a joke.... ugh this is so unsettling please please please let me pass this exam 😞 #just a few weeks ago he gave us these really difficult questions for exam preparation & even our chemistry aces were struggling with them #when i asked if the exam will also be so difficult he just laughed 😭😭😭 #he later clarified that the exam won't include such difficult questions but like why use them for exam preparation then???? #everyone was so frustrated & discouraged after those questions #all the other teachers just revised all the study material with us & gave us questions that really prepared us for the exams #i'm seriously terrified of tomorrow now... i'm so scared i'll just be staring at the exam paper & not being able to answer anything 😭 #okay let me calm down.... i wrote a whole essay in the tags 😭😭😭 #☁️

[cutearose]

okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for

#im really struggling to function rn and i finally accepted that i wont make it to my appt without help #so i posted on my snap story asking if anyone could come over for a few hours to help me get back on track #n. two people replied saying they cant but hope i find someone but no one else has replied at all #i knew the answer would probably be no bc no one has time to come all the way here to help me to do tasks i should be able to do alone #but idk i thought i might get some comfort or encouragement or something. just some acknowledgement #i wish i had a group chat or something where i could reach out to people. bc things like snap stories people are just flicking past #i NEED to change the kitty litter today i have no choice its unusable and needs changing but i just. how. i am so tired #i have a ridiculous amount of glasses n crockery specifically for when i struggle like this n yet im still almost completely out of them #bc i just. cant do the dishes. i dont even have to wash them they just need to go in the dishwasher n i Cant #my brain just completely shut down once i got back from the trip #especially bc i got a cold n i dont cope well being sick at all #but of course thats another reason i feel bad asking for help. bc my house is full of germs. n i dont want people to get sick bc of me #but i am running out of food and clean dishes and bench space and i just. cant do it alone rn #but i used up my asking capabilities posting on snap #posting on insta would prob get more people to see it but insta feels. much more public #i dont use my insta stories like ever so it feels like a Lot to post on it for this #n when i asked for support after my parents divorce i only got a couple responses anyway #n this is. not worth support. like its a problem of my own making? i went on the trip knowing it would be a Lot for me #i wasnt planning on getting sick And getting an infection which are both exhausting me a lot but thats not the point #idk im just beating myself up over here. idk how to ask for help esp bc i expect the answer to be no anyway #like who is gonna travel an hour+ to help their friend clean their kitchen and fill out paperwork. im 28 i should be able to do that stuff #these tags are getting very maudlin and mean to myself. sigh. i wish i didnt feel so guilty when i need help #i wish i felt like i was allowed to ask for and accept help #love that childhood and autistic trauma haha lmao #anyway. brains are annoying. and im struggling a lot.

[spid3r-trans]

ok no more lies i’m 100% serious this time i have about a paragraph to finish tomorrow but then chapter 5 is going UP. thank u for being patient with me!!

#fens fables #really struggled with this one for some reason but i think it’s coming out ok! #it’s still gonna be a few hours but it’s going up today if it kills me fr fr

[stinkbeck]

literally why am i crying. wtf happened. girl just finish the dishes + go to sleep. literally i wasn’t thinking about anything why is this happening.

#wait i repressed some things today lol. #my dad is planning to give something to my cousin that he was going to give to me and i know i wouldn’t be able to take care of it so i cant #really say that i want it. it’s cruel to want it if someone else wants it and i can’t even take care of it. #and it’s material. there’s no reason for me to be this upset. i guess i’d been told he’d kept it for me. i guess that’s why i’m so sad. #oh LOL it wasn’t that at all. something p much harmless triggered a moral struggle i’ve been dealing with for about two years. #i bet it’s not uncommon but it’s deeply personal so i hadn’t expected anything to accidentally mimic the situation i’ve found myself in. #now that i see it for what it is i feel a lot better lol. #anyways gnight!

[transboykirito]

pride week fics will be posted in the next day or so, i ended up decided to entirely rewrite two of them and the others aren't right and i can't figure out how. sorry, i promise i'll get them done eventually

#not sao #i really really haven't been doing okay and for some reason a few days ago it just broke me and now i'm here #before anyone says anything i'm fine. i promise. just trying to struggle through a lot #i'll post the fics in a couple of days i will literally shut myself in my room and not leave until at least 3 of them tomorrow #technically today since it's way past midnight now i just can't sleep lmfao #i'll post some tomorrow and the rest the next day i'm sorry they're late please don't be mad

[adore-gregor]

i like christmas time and the beginning of winter

But it's also challenging

#the snow is also lovely #and i do enjoy december as a winter month #even as i'm a summer person #but yeah summer really is better #i'm just so much happier in summer #you know seasonal depression i'm not depressed but i have much more days or time periods where i'm struggling #when it's just dark outside and you have no motivation you just feel lazy #it sucks it gets dark so early so little sunlight #it's even worse on days i don't get outside which isn't often but today was one of these days #like some days i'm happy and all good but then i'm feeling sad for no reason on another day #this is less frequent during the rest of the year i have a much more stable mental health #and i'm much more my happy self usually #it gets better by the beginning of february usually #it's not that serious don't worry #just summer is better and life is easier for me #not just summer but also spring and autumn until late november but especially summer ^^

[songofwizardry]

r/ukvisa is a treasure trove of useful info and experience and has saved me so many times by digging up home office policies buried on the website that could get a visa rejected but boy does it not take a lot for several people on that sub to throw disabled people/"illegal" immigrants/asylum seekers/the entire concept of taxation and socialised healthcare/etc under the bus

#yes it fucking sucks that we have to pay the ihs #it sucks double that you have to pay the ihs even when you are paying national insurance #i do not like being taxed twice when the tory besties with millions barely get taxed either! #the solution to that is not 'get rid of the nhs it barely works and move to private healthcare entirely' can you actually hear yourself #or to say 'well i shouldn't have to contribute to the nhs as i never get sick ever and i pay for private healthcare when i do get sick' #or 'the government is so busy bleeding money from us the Good Legal High-Earning Immigrants Who Deserve To Be Here and ignoring the people. #... crossing in small boats who don't deserve to be here' #i am not even paraphrasing much lol 'this government hates people who want to be here legally' is a running comment on the sub #my good pal they hate ALL immigrants #they hate some of us less than others but they're not after us bc they have some sympathy (???) for asylum seekers they're doing it bc they #see a cash cow that isn't their besties and are trying to make it ridiculously difficult to get in the country. bc they don't like immigran #this coupled with labour's announcement today that THEY would actually be good and harsher with small boat crossings and i guess kill more #asylum seekers as though that's a matter of fucking pride #has pissed me off ok #rhetoric in this country towards 'less desirable' immigrants and asylum seekers and refugees has always been vile but god #have suella braverman and priti patel really done a number on it bc it's so so unabashedly violent in the last few years #i'd also like to point out that people struggling to be in the uk 'legally' (quote marks for a reason) & resorting to other means is a #direct consequence of the hostile environment and how hard it is to get a visa logistically financially etc #anyway i don't understand the 'it is hard for me therefore let me make it fucking harder for everyone else instead of attacking the people #in charge who made it this way and benefit from us being screwed over' #the model minority thing got in our heads and infected us you gotta cut it out and stop trying to be the good immigrant and ffs don't do th #tories job for them #i am. mad. ok i'm done now #ukpol #immigration #abolish borders today pls #2023 is an experience #my post