#I rlly don’t have anything to say

[autistic-katara]

me: dude im not even feeling that tired rn and haven’t for ages oh no oh fuck im probably accidentally faking my disability-

my chronic fatigue, loading ammunition into a massive fucking cannon: damn really bro?

#been so tired these past like 2 days #like not regular gotta lie down tired nah #like i don’t have the energy to do basically anything tired #and again i don’t mean like idk i can’t wash the dishes cause idk i’m sleepy or whatever #i mean like i physically can’t do or say like double the amount i normally can’t #like i’ll know how to do smthn or what to say clearly in my head but i just don’t have the energy to get it out if that makes sense #and that’s not like all of it but it’s one of the worst parts (at least rn) #like i feel like i’m actually going insane cause of this it’s just rlly weird #idek i am also like i gotta lie down most of the day tired #but it’s not that strong idk #this is turning into kinda a vent idk #but it’s fine to rb the actual post is fine #chronically ill #chronic fatigue #disabled

[michaelnotholden]

Sorry if this is a bit personal, you don’t have to answer !

But how did you tell your mum you’re aroace? Or have you not told her?

Because I wanna tell my parents soon I think and I don’t really know how to…lol. I could really use some advice.

:)

Well I came out to her as pan over text and she was supportive and rlly didn’t care so 😭 after that she found out I was aroace as I was telling my psychiatrist about it. (She was in the room with us) ive kinda explained it to her since then but i don’t think she rlly grasps the meaning of it and i rlly don’t know what’s her opinion on it.

I honestly don’t know how to help you.. but in my opinion coming out is so overrated and useless to me. Especially if ur aroace bc plenty of ppl are single for a long time and im assuming ur a teen like me so.. its rlly not that big of a deal🤷‍♀️

#i don’t rlly care what she thinks #and she doesn’t care what I am so #ofc i understand the want to tell her bc it’s a big part of urself but #if it’s gonna end up wrong I wouldn’t say anything until ur older #plus ur identity can change like mine did so you’ll have to come out more than once #aroace #coming out #lgbtq #aromantic #asexual

[deityofhearts]

I honestly just don’t get how people default to thinking southern accents are like unserious and unintelligent, I know I live in a bubble and I’ve never been outside of the south so like my world view is skewed but like idk I can’t like conceptualize hearing someone’s accent and going “your accent is too stupid and silly for you to have a brain” like ???

#deity dialogue #sorry I’m rlly half asleep #obvs my worldview is different cause I’m southern I’m surrounded by southern ppl I hear the accent all the time #so it’s like normal obvs but idk it still baffles me #idk if I ever go north are y’all gonna be mean to me cause I talk in a way that y’all perceive as stupid and lesser than how you do?? #I’ve already mentioned that even here we aren’t safe from the ‘haha youre a dumbass southern hick’ statements #which is rich cause like bitch who are you to be talking you live here too I don’t wanna hear you call me a red neck cause you’ve been here #for a long ass time to and I’m sure if you went up north they’d be on your ass the same way they’d be on mine #like what gives you the right? #like I will say also that I do make fun of the accent but in the way that lexi and I will be heatedly talking and get more southern with #each word and that amuses and delights us like idk it’s fun to look at someone who just said one word in a more extreme southern accent on #accident and repeat it back to them #but like at the end of the day we like being southern we don’t think there’s anything wrong with it or like inherently worth mocking #plus there’s a difference between two friends being silly and strangers telling you you’re a stupid redneck hick :) #this is also coming from someone who compared to other southern ppl doesn’t have the most strong southern accent (it’s there onvs but ya #know) and I still have to deal with this shit :/ #sorry I need to go to bed and shut up no one caressss

[sherbetlemonss]

Here’s this Gandra I did as a warm up :]

#my art #ducktales #dt17 #ducktales 2017 #gandra dee #I don’t rlly have anything to say #just a doodle so I can get ready to start smth bigger ig #I love her sm 🫶🫶

[charmac]

Chapter 8, if you were wondering.

#sugar daddy au #“this is my magnum opus’’ he says about random chapter 8 of his fanfiction #i have an issue. #now you see why it’s taken me weeks longer than expected? #guys. this was supposed to be the back half of chapter 7 LOL #i just. #Dennis 😵‍💫🤒 #Dennis observing Mac 🧍‍♂️💀🙇‍♂️😕💔 #these emojis don’t rlly mean anything #basically like. there’s my typical 8k words of smut obviously ofc #and then. there’s baseball… #and like. other things… #i have NO IDEA how it’s 22k words oo #it feels like 10k to me #mac just doesn’t stfu that’s not my fault

[soshinee]

i really have loved being in japan in general so far but most of my students are so fucking mean to me 😭😭 like they’re just so so sooo mean they parrot and mock me when i call someone’s name and laugh when i talk in general and it’s like how am i supposed to curry their favor or gain their respect when they are openly making fun of me from the second i walk into their classroom for the first time💀

#i think part of it is that 90% of the students are boys and they’re all super jocks so they don’t care abt english at all #also a lot of them are second semester seniors. and i was in their shoes not that long ago #which i understand. but like i wish they would at least be somewhat decent to me😭 #like i wld fully be willing to say okay fuck the worksheet fuck the grammar let’s just shoot the shit. but none of them want to speak to me #also the ones who know i know japanese just speak japanese to me so i just stare at them blankly #at least in the us there were limits to the shit we cld say abt teachers in class because everyone was speaking english #to be fair i really struggle w conversational jpn & slang so most of the time i rlly don’t get the nuances #of what they’re saying to each other. and i can’t respond well at all. but i get the gist #its hard bc i’m new and also paired with new teachers for some classes so they don’t respect any ‘authority figure’ in the room #but like come on. don’t bully me. #i think part of the problem is there’s actually literally no consequences for anything. no detention or suspension or calls to parents #or getting benched for sports matches. which i think would actually get them to care #cuz there are things that technically i could try to do but there’s no way to actually enforce anything #idk. thinking out loud. the classes that have been decent & engaged have been super fun for me and energizing #but the others are rlly tough like so tough. #okay sorry i know no one cares

[mattodore]

tagged by @rottengurlz <3 idk who has or hasn’t been tagged so… no one unless you wanna do it!! actually @wldestluv-rs i am always tagging you on everything by default 🫵

#that quote……. um. anyway. #river dipping #i’m going through my mentions atm……………… #i did catch up on my inbox like she’s clean!! finally!!! #but. #i’m behind by like three weeks on my mentions……. #i missed simblr gratitude day entirely… 😭 i’m so sorry #blanket statement that i seriously don’t check my activity feed like. ever. #bc i have avpd and i am rlly weird abt notes and i know they don’t directly correlate to how much ppl like me or anything #but. my avpd… she’s so evil what can i say 😭 so i try not to look at my notes (hence why if u go to my blog on desktop the code on my theme #is edited specifically NOT to show me notes) #and i generally avoid my activity most of the time 🧎 #it’s the same for my followers list i don’t look at it ever so 🧍 #seriously sorry abt that… 🧎 #but anyway……. i will definitely reply soon !

[lanternlightss]

i am. thinking about should the winds be kinder au again…..

especially how desperate venti is to not let anyone know about the switch. because the world, let alone the universe itself, doesn’t need a venti. they need only ever need cecil.

#i am having. thoughts #lantern says stuff #should the winds be kinder au #should you have favorite of au’s. bc i feel like sometimes it’s rlly obvious which ones got more love 😭 #this thing just comes back with a bat sometimes #like #ven is pushing through 30 layers of identity issues every day all the time #they don’t stop smiling even for a moment even when the look in their eyes /shatters/ #bc cecils last moments were happy. they were finally. finally being freed from the job that cost them so much #their friends. their very being. their sanity and morals #would it not be disrespectful to put up anything else but cheer? to honor what was a genuine joy in millennia? (to keep the— #—icky. slimy feeling in his chest away whenever he sees his friend’s face drop.) #i ammmmmmmmmmmm #a

[palms-upturned]

.

#meg talks #i forgot how much group projects make me want to become the joker #joined a strategic research group and 1) my research partner has done nothing and basically never says anything to me #2) the check in meetings w the other group members are always when i have work and nobody shares notes/takeaways #or like offers more than one check in time to accommodate scheduling #3) nobody has fucking LOOKED AT MY RESEARCHHHHH #horse staring out at the ocean.jpeg #someday i will actually get involved w organizers who know what they’re doing. someday. #ok that’s mean i think it’s important to do SOMETHING even if u don’t rlly know what ur doing or else how would you learn #i mean that’s exactly what im doing! i don’t know shit abt fuck and i joined this group to learn new practical skills #so it’s not their fault and im no better #but also jdsgsjdncj when it comes to the basics of like. actually organizing the resources we are currently gathering. #i feel like ‘’make sure you actually are communicating with everyone and looking at the research’’ is basic enough #that im allowed to be frustrated abt it #TALK TO MEEEEEEEE FUCKING HOLD A MEETING I CAN PARTICIPATE INNNNNNNN #ok im done. fkxhgzjxnc

[the-casbah-way]

i feel like everyone is going to eventually get annoyed at me for still being sad about simba or still talking about it but posting abt it is easier than telling someone because i don’t know how to do that and i’d rather be annoying here where people can scroll past and ignore it and not feel obligated to reply

#i don’t even have anything to say i’m just sad #i keep being fine for a while because it doesn’t feel real #and then i remember i never get to take another picture of him or play with him again #i wish i’d gotten a video of him meowing he had such a funny meow i wish you could hear it #i get so sad thinking about him when he was a baby and how he didn’t know it would end up like this #and then thinking that’s dumb because cats do not understand their own mortality anyway #i hope he wasn’t in pain when he died i hope he didn’t feel alone or scared #i wish more than anything that someone had been with him when he died. he was all alone #he should’ve been inside he should’ve been safe he should’ve been looked after properly #there’s no point getting angry at the people who neglected him. they can’t hurt him anymore anyway #but i just wish he got what he deserved he deserved so much better. i hope he knows how much everyone loves him #and that i won’t stop loving him just because he’s not here #he was only a baby he was only two. he should’ve lived for so much longer #again i am sorry for being annoying but i am not coping with this and i feel rlly fucking stupid for being this sad #simba

[outofthehaze]

looking “normal” but having uncontrollable “strange” behaviors as a part of mental illness is annoying bc many adults act uncomfortable/gossip about me in front of me when i do things like flap my arms/talk to myself/ignore others around me but rarely say anything directly to me.

however, if im with my parents people will sometimes ask them about me as though that’s more polite than just being like “wtf is wrong with you”. like today, i went to the aquarium and someone asked my mom if i was “safe”. it’s just odd and annoying bc im 22 and like. if you’re worried about me- ask ME!! or even better- mind your own business!! but do not ask my mom that puts her in a weird position and she is not my caretaker!!!

also i was literally completely fine, in fact i was just really excited by the spiny lumpsucker and grunt sculpin exhibit

anyway aquarium pictures!!

#also maybe they don’t say anything to me bc many people assume i have mid/lower functioning autism. no one rlly expects a schizo to present #like that i guess. bc all people know about is hallucinations but i always have symptoms like stimming/being unresponsive/in my own world #anyway this is your reminder that schizophrenia and schizoaffective have negative and positive symptoms. negative ones are things that are #taken from you like catatonia/ability to communicate fluidly and positive ones are additive like hallucinations/delusions #diary entry

[x-itzzzzzz-x]

i think i should go back to therapy

#i need someone to talk to #like so bad lol it’s embarrassing #anyways #my parents are incompetent #i can’t talk to my friends #half of them i don’t talk to anyways never mind about how i feel #i’m just shit to them #i’m just shit idk #i can never trust therapists tho #tbf they r always shitty imo #j experiences have been so bad #but also i can’t take this lol #meds n therapy r what’s supposed to help #n i need it #i keep fucking up all my opportunities and handouts #ik i realistically wont go back on meds or back to therapy #but it would be nice to think id get better enough to commit to that #commit to anything rlly #i don’t commit to people to school to my family to my hobbies to the gym to meds to anything #i always say i wanna get better until i actually have to do anything #idk why i can’t jusg be normal #why does it have to be so much work to just even appear normal n functioning #i miss the old me #they had some fucking will #anyways i’m fine #i’m not i’m so miserable n lonely it’s embarrassing i’m humiliated at my existence #my existence feels like a cry for help that everyone’s sick of hearing i just want to be understood and supported #why can’t i be normal i hate this so bad i wish i was dead #me when i’m sober long enough to reflect on my life choices #tw vent

[boyghcst]

I rlly wanna be able to not smoke weed but I just dunno if I can honestly. Like I’ve been sober maybe for a week or two before last year and I felt happy w myself I went that long but I also was in England visiting my family so I didn’t have any left to smoke anyway

#but I just struggle to stop #I end up smoking again and bc all my friends smoke i can’t say no bc i like getting high and doing it w my friends #but i lit smoke everyday even when I’m out i end up hanging w friends and smoking #it’s prob been like 3/4 years now I’ve been smoking #ik its not good for my body or mind #I do kinda wish there was somewhere I could go like a local MA bc I do rlly struggle #but it’s like part of me is just too scared to be sober and have to deal w thoughts and anxiety and depression etc #I am visiting my mum and stepdad again soon so I’m planning to only bring a little and then try detox #but I just know it’ll end up smoking again when I get back and hang w friends #and it’s not their fault or anything I haven’t communicated it and I don’t think I will bc ik deep down tht would cut it off completely #like I technically could delete my dealers numbers but then ik ill end up asking for them again bc I just do tht #I’m so bad at saying no and being impulsive and making bad decisions it’s like my brain just dgaf #idk how ppl do it fr #I don’t believe when ppl say weed isn’t addictive tbh bc it defo has been for me #journal

[holyluvr]

Getting a good hit of indica that’s a little stronger than vapes I had last time after I ran out of my indica is Hallelujah Praise The LORD and that kid with ADHD

#… #I need indica or antipsychotics both to function. an upper and a downer of some sorts. stimulate then depress. over and over again. daily. #TBH one of the dreams/goals that I still haven’t let myself let go of despite knowing the stats and likelihoods of the outcomes…. #well anyway one of those dreams is to somehow fix this. to meet a doctor who has a treatment plan or life change idea that works on the drug #dependency / the ‘maybe’ acquired brain injury issues. #the ‘is this idiopathic narcolepsy or is this ABI from drs or would you consider this probable narcolepsy from ABI from drs or?’ issues. #the ‘it’s harder to put together a clear understanding of your health overall’ comments followed by silence bc they don’t need to say it lol #it’s hard because no one has known what my health ‘should’ be like. know one has any labs without me on psychotropic medication combos. #they have partial proof from brain scans for the conclusion that my brain was just .fried to deal with me/make me easy and good. didn’t work #and they don’t even need proof to know that medication combos in their own profession shouldn’t be used together or are only used together #in extreme cases with no options left that they immediately fucking jumped into and were lucky I didn’t DIE so many times but fuck yeah #now my brain hurts and I’m not how I was beforehand but don’t rlly know why or how to express it #and I feel alone there and then I have bitch ass doctors telling me to Just Stop The Meds For A Fee Weeks :-)! …..Dr u have no idea huh do u #a few weeks? give me 3 days before I’m having a psychotic episode that’s severe enough to warrant police arrest or 911 called for me. #that’s thousands of dollars in a legal psychiatric hold. and that’s if someone catches the signs on time before I potentially harm myself or #like yeah no I’m sorry doc but i can’t just Simply Stop or Substitute anti-anxiety drugs when I’ve had them holding me together b4 puberty. #anyway I’m still. hoping I’ll find some info somewhere or stories and people like me who figured something out or anything idk #because my medical testing is interfered by medications that I cannot stop taking (mainly benzodiazepines) without losing my mind now. bad.

[kimetsu-chan]

Fun fact about me:

I am a very jealous person 🥲

and I feel absolutely horrible every time I get jealous

because, I have no reason to feel that way

no one did anything wrong, so why am I upset

it really sucks

#🌾 #I always keep my jealousy to myself though #I don’t want to be one of those people who are like “no you can’t do that” or “you can’t have that” as a result of their jealousy #It’s kinda shameful #I feel ashamed when I get jealous #Bc I’m unreasonable #And I don’t want people to call me unreasonable so I just don’t say anything 😕 #Was rlly debating whether to post this or not #Bc yall don’t have to know this #You shouldn’t have to worry about my stupid problems #That’s a me issue ✌️😗

[sunnibits]

unstoppable force (my growing need to stop looking into the tags bc I am so fucking tired of being in this toxic wasteland of a fandom space) vs immovable object (my constant, overwhelming desire to see every single new scrap of content posted about my hyperfixation ever the instant it appears)

#ughhgghhh #thank god for my good izzy mutuals honestly. jesus. #I would say more but it would be too negative and nasty and that’s not what I’m about!!! so!!!!!! #let’s just say that while I rlly want to keep making content for this fandom and I rlly love the character #I’m starting to kind of wish I was hyperfixated on something else just so I didn’t have to deal with this whole mess!!! 😊😊😊 #anyways can y’all pleaseeee tag discourse if ur gonna put anything even remotely related to the izzycourse on my dash #I rlly don’t want to see it :/