#I wish I could live alone again

[firelordhotman]

ive made this post before but Shoutout to Cripples who listen to punk and embrace the subculture but cant attend gigs, either due to our own disabilities or general inaccessibility. we can still engage in the subculture from our homes! and anyone who calls you a poser for that probably is an ACTUAL poser wearing shein clothes standing in the back of the room shaking in their poshmark boots cuz theyre scared of messing up their tiktok eyeliner in the mosh pit lmfao. REAL punks are anti-ableism and will share music with you and bring you back merch from the gigs you couldnt attend

#i get imposter syndrome when im alone for too long But then i talk to some of my punk friends again and remember who the real posers are #i rarely get to attend a couple concerts a year if im lucky i WISH i could be constantly going to gigs #i love the energy and the vibes and the people and the music and the cheap beer sm. In my dream ablebodied life i live like that #but alas i rarely leave the house #stay-at-home scene kid fr #cripplepunk #in a literal sense #cripple punk

[sysig]

Let me chew you out a little, since we have a couple minutes (Patreon)

[Panel 1] Prismo: *mumble* *mumble*

[Panel 2] Prismo: *mumble*

[Panel 3] Simon: Hmph. “Just because it’s in your head-”

[Panel 4] Simon: “-Doesn’t mean it’s yours,” huh?

[Panel 5] Simon: Give me all the responsibility with none of the privileges?

[Panel 6] Simon: And then you get mad at me for trying to pick up your slack? Prismo: Hey...

[Panel 7] Simon: Clearly you already expect that much from me!

[Panel 8] Prismo: Hey, hey! I did the best with what I had! I didn’t expect any of this!

[Panel 9] Simon: And yet you didn’t even consider telling me, so we could’ve avoided this?

[Panel 10] Prismo: It’s not like I could’ve just- taken it out! I was locked out!

[Panel 11] Simon: You could’ve done something!

[Panel 12] Simon: Instead you let my life spiral around this thing, kept me tethered to Ice King’s Madness-

[Panel 13] Prismo: Fionna and Cake are real thou- Simon: NOW you tell me! After I find out for myself!

#Doodles #Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake #Simon Petrikov #Prismo #They have like two minutes where they're alone together that aren't directly shown onscreen: Allow me to insert some ideas lol #As long as Simon isn't so faded that he can't work the nerve up I Absolutely think he'd get mad at Prismo for all this #Not like he didn't just come back from a terrible experience trying to work around his terrible dregs! He's very miserable! #Honestly I think the anger would be good for him lol #He's had to live like this for years! Under Ice King's shadow for something that wasn't his doing! #And he knows Prismo - he met him - they talked - but not about this #And I mean I honestly don't blame Prismo - with everything going on and his own depression spiral he had a few things on his mind #It's in a bad way for everyone #That said he is a Wish Master he really could've told Simon at any point even if he couldn't take his little pet project out of him lol #Then again again what Was he supposed to do lol #As much as I would trust Simon to keep a secret I don't think either of them could've expected Simon trying to summon Golb to do this #Obviously it /did/ happen that way but could either of them have guessed?? I don't think so #''Don't go summoning your ex-'' ''She's not my ex >:('' '''Cause there's an illicit universe in your head and you might summon that instead' #Like what no I don't think Prismo could've just - guessed that! Lol #He did leave Simon out to dry vis a vis Ice King and Fionna and Cake tho which was Not cool and he Could've done something about that #Although I can also see Simon snapping and telling someone that it wasn't his own stories - there's no winning! #But that's what makes the argument fun haha #Man they're both fun to draw ♪ Simon in that dress and Prismo's tiiiiired tired eyes haha ♫ #It was shortlived but they have a fun dynamic :D Simon speaks so deadpan and sarcastic with Prismo haha <3 It's quite cute honestly

[the-casbah-way]

i feel like everyone is going to eventually get annoyed at me for still being sad about simba or still talking about it but posting abt it is easier than telling someone because i don’t know how to do that and i’d rather be annoying here where people can scroll past and ignore it and not feel obligated to reply

#i don’t even have anything to say i’m just sad #i keep being fine for a while because it doesn’t feel real #and then i remember i never get to take another picture of him or play with him again #i wish i’d gotten a video of him meowing he had such a funny meow i wish you could hear it #i get so sad thinking about him when he was a baby and how he didn’t know it would end up like this #and then thinking that’s dumb because cats do not understand their own mortality anyway #i hope he wasn’t in pain when he died i hope he didn’t feel alone or scared #i wish more than anything that someone had been with him when he died. he was all alone #he should’ve been inside he should’ve been safe he should’ve been looked after properly #there’s no point getting angry at the people who neglected him. they can’t hurt him anymore anyway #but i just wish he got what he deserved he deserved so much better. i hope he knows how much everyone loves him #and that i won’t stop loving him just because he’s not here #he was only a baby he was only two. he should’ve lived for so much longer #again i am sorry for being annoying but i am not coping with this and i feel rlly fucking stupid for being this sad #simba

[cuteniaarts]

Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way. #so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

[sixcalibur]

LORD OF THE LOST - The Curtain Falls

#*mine: gifs #lord of the lost #🖤 #🤍 #lotl #I wish I could go see them live again #but my anxiety makes it impossible for me to go anywhere alone #and my job too because getting specific days off or vacation there is never working in my favor either

[bulle-blackhole]

bastard

#my head hurts #the cat came inside and yelled at me until i gave him food and then kept yelling at me because #well that's just what he does to be honest #managed to get me out of my spiral. somewhat #i'll draw on my arms so the need lessens. no alcohol. #i'll. try seeing what i can eat #chips is better than nothing #and i reminded taco it's date night #so. date night #i'm trying #i'm a fraction away from bursting into tears again #i wish my system wasn't so fucking weirdly made and that i could get away from front. or actually feel everyone's hugs #i wish i could feel my partners and friends and families in my system the way my other system friends do #it hurts. #wish i had someone where i live too #i may have had only wander last year when i tried moving out but at least i had them #now im back here. 3h away from them. 8h away from fox. #and everyone else isn't in france. #i wish i could at least be able to feel my system the way others do #im so alone man. it sucks #cant even meet people. too far away from towns. cant get there on my own. and i have no money to go places if i get to town. #i wish someone would become rich and come visit me. #or as my bpd wishes : i wish someone became obsessed with me. bpd is lovely. isnt it. /sarcasm #ill. ask my friend to wake me up early tomorrow so i finally take my meds. #i guess me being off meds has. uh. been a problem. huh #vent #vent post #tw vent post

[sibelin]

i'll pretend i didn't just have breakdown like i do five times a week ✌️

#i'm sorry guys #this week has been really tough #i don't feel comfortable anywhere. not at work not at home and not here either #and it's been affecting me a lot. i'm so lonely here. i wish i was with my family rn. or with anyone who could tell me i'm worth something #i feel like i'm not even human anymore. i am a fake person at work. here i know people will avoid interacting with me when sad. #but i'm stuck bc i struggle living alone and i struggle making connections so ofc i'm sad #idk i'm so tired. i need shoulder to cry on but all i got is this blog and people liking my posts #all that bc i moved far away from everyone and then realized i was nothing to my friends #i want to exist again #please let me be someone i'm so scared #anyway anyway back to posting memes so people like me

[olli-online]

dont want to keep bothering everyone but i need to vent or iwill do something drastic

#somuch has happened this week that ifeel like i canf even talk abt becausewtf r ppl supposd to say to me in response to it god i just want #a normal fucking life a normalfamily that isnt so fucked rhat any type of event doesnt end in someone in tears or covered. in blood #itstriggered my ed again andim getting bad i feel like. i want to disappear aga in and just cut everyone off so icant bother them anymore #i hate living lklethis it hurts so fucking bad like i feel it thru my entire body #im grasping for any sense ofcontrol and autonomy ans all mybrain can thinn of is throwing eveeyone away #iwish it wasnt tempting i wish i could just sleep andbe fine but no i woke up stillfeeling like this #yesterdaywas so fucking hard #ifeel alone but its my own fault #my brai n telling me not a single oerson wants me around and thatim better off alone again 🚶 #anyways s bye again ijust havw to scream to the void so i dont explde

[pepprs]

anyways. i hit tag limit and now im going to go to bed late bc i have to clean the whole kitchen. but the last 48 hours have just been so emotionally intense and exhausting and painful. i relived july 5-29 2022 in 48 hours. and it was better than that ofc bc i wasn’t uhmmmm shut down and unable to express my feelings 😍😍😍😍😍😍 but it was still horrible and the worst is over but im still in so much emotional / mental pain rn and it’s gonna take a while to recover from that and i don’t have the emotional resources i need to do so obviously. yayyyyy 🥳

#purrs #delete later #the MMMMMORTIFYING. MORTIFYING. ordeal. of romy leaving the way she did. and never being able to recover from that so the wound has festered #only for someone else i love and cherish and depend on to leave. LIKE IFS INSANE TO ME. it is so crazymaking. i can’t withstand the pain of #it. but OF COURSE i can like they’re not d*ad or anything god forbid a million times they’re just moving on. but im just taking it so hard. #in ways that are so… unhealthy and abnormal and hard to carry and hard to live through. and again living in fear that it will happen one #more time and i’ll be truly alone then. but then it’s like silly tess pepprs you already WERE alone! because nobody can meet the four needs #except for you… or like a significant other if you could get around your psychic block 🥰 but yeah. i am not functioning well and i #don’t know how to get the relief and healing i need because it’s a process etc etc. i just wish this wasn’t happening. i feel so wounded and #bruised and horrible rn. like my heart physically hurts… ermmmmm 😳‼️ #also im namedropping at this point idec. i feel bad about it and i shouldn’t but imgonna give myself and my future self this one today LOL

[vitiateoriginator]

I'm finally taking a fucking vacation from my job next week

#I've never gotten the chance to use my vacation time at work before quitting #but Im not currently able to leave where I work and I'll lose my PTO on my anniversary date (sept 13th) #so I decided to say fuck it an use ut the first week of September #wish I could have saved it for the second week since my birthday is September 15th but again my PTO gets reset the 13th #so this will have to do #I'm not going on an actual vacation this year. just planning various enjoyable activities and day trips throughout the week #Im hoping on the first day to attend a local flea market #and the next day or two to go swimming before the pool in my apartment complex closes for the year #I also plan to visit a historical town thats about a half hour away from where I live #and I'm definitely going to sleep in a lot of these days cause I need to catch up on some sleep finally #I'll probably draw on my less busy days #and maybe I can knock out a chapter or 2 of the story I've been writing #tbh luck is never with me so the chances of me actually getting to do half of this stuff is slim #but at least I can say I have plans #I'm gonna try n do this stuff even if I have to go alone #I hate waiting around for others so I can go out and have a good time #like yeah some of these activities are better with other people #but people often find excuses to get out of hanging out or going places. or they're busy with work #and I don't want to waste the 7 days Im gonna have off so Im gonna try n do something meaningful during them #the weather also will effect how my plans turn out. I bet it'll rain the entire week lol. that'd be my luck #but Im still gonna try and have a decent time off #at the absolute least I am going to relax and unwind. thats the bare minimum I can doo #sam's rants about life

[lordiavolo22]

its been really hard lately

#i miss my ex best friend. i dont ever cry and i cried again tonight #i wishb i knew what to do to fix everything because now i know how to act. this all changed me for the better ibe stopped doing so many #bad thinfs since than. but the pain is still here :( #negative / #delete later #im so lonely because i have friends bur i dont feel like i have any connections or anyone who either has the time to talk to me #enough or that i really want to talk to anymore. i just feel like everyones living rheir adult lives and are too busy and im still stuck in #no one i know doesnt work or doesnt go to school but me i just feel like im alone in the universe again snd wasting my life #when i had him i didnt feel like yhay i felt like i wasnr just a nothing loser. but i chose to give it up because of my selfish #impulsive choices. i wish i could shake past me and scream at her to tell her to cherish the friendships shes had at so manynpoints in our #life and nor destroy them because theyre not ''perfect'' #theres nothing to gain by being so self pitying. it doesnt get you anythung

[dent-de-leon]

Kinda just want there to be a post or teaser saying who Tal’s gonna play in the reunion cause the anxiety is killing me ;;

#I know I shouldn’t be that attached and that’s on me but like #I wish I could be more excited and happy #it’s just #real demoralizing even trying to look up tags and stuff #and makes me feel stupid for still having hope but I’m also nervous about finding out any more #I don’t know #maybe if I didn’t watch early c2 live the character wouldn’t have affected me this much especially if I know they were always gonna break #my heart but like #I just wish I could be as happy as I should be but I know itll be crushing if king is alone again #I’ll delete this later probably sorry

[zarovich]

even tho i am covered in so much scar tissue, it never feels like it's enough

#personal #gonna talk about self harm in tags. not in graphic detail obv but heed the warning #i often wish i lived alone so i could self destruct fully but i cant do that. cant afford it plus i wouldnt be allowed to #i know in the eyes of others my scars are already bad.ppl often tell me so. but im not satisfied with them they need to be worse imo #idk. i dont hate myself for being like this or anything but i know its not normal to want to completely destroy yourself. im not normal #and it sucks cuz no one gets it. i cant talk about it or i will get punished. i will get locked away and become a project to fix again #there have been times recently ive needed stitches but i dont get them cuz i know what will happen if i do #i get why ppl get concerned sure but that doesnt change that i enjoy it. i enjoy having control destroying myself #idk how many ppl understand this cuz most ppl i know sh for various other reasons but at times i feel as if im alone in this #right anyways. sorry about that i prefer to just yell shit out into nothing cuz ill feel like an ass venting directly to someone #always feel like im being manipulative or trauma dumping etc. im being melodramatic i know

[explvrer]

one of the things I've been taking time to do to bring joy into my life is to purposefully make time for stillness. choosing to savor moments like rolling honey on my tongue, tucking the most mundane moments to the most vivid ones deep into the corners of my brain as if they are tiny, bright and shining gems. i think it's beautiful how much more ive come to enjoy life and the things n people around me.

#it is regrettable that i did not savour life and its presence as much earlier #but holy shit its so nice to live presently #even when im sobbing enraged just wildly spun out #the knowingness that i have the ability to experience this #that it is something gifted to me #changes it all doesnt it? #loving dora hours #rambling #theres a hawk that visits my trees sometimes #and they often travel alone #but i once saw a pair of them #n thats just it isnt it #life is placing meaning and imoortance behind the mundane #finding divine in the turbulence and the ordinary #i.... wish i could share it with you #but m not quite sure you'd get it #maybe youd understand when i comoared it to your laugh. or the way your face rises when you smile. #maybe youd hear it in the rise n fall of your chest. or maybe youd see it when you see me again. #one can only hope that you experience life like this eventually #i miss you. i wish i could share this as well. #dora rambles

[knic28]

ARENT YOU TIRED OF BEING NICE DONT YOU JUST WANNA GO APESHIT?????????

#i am #grabbing you (personified life) by the shoulders and shaking you vigorously #and also i am rediscovering why i was so fucking angry for so long #im getting tired again #dont u ever just get tired of trying #dont u ever just want to break shit and scream at the world and cry #all that shouting because nobodys listening or whatever the fuck the doctor says to donna #im so tired #and im getting up again and trying even harder tomorrow because i dont have a choice #but sometimes i wish i could be secure in knowledge that i dont detract from others lives #let alone add something #post

[quietblissxx]

I'm three doubles deep and I'm just grateful I had enough self restraint, self respect, self fucking love to not ask you to stay.

#i didn't beg you to change your mind. i didn't tell you i need you. i said i love you and goodbye. #The man i love told me our lives were better off without each other. #my one good friend at work just quit leaving me unsteady and wondering if i need to get other employment too #bc this place will be nearly unbearable without her #my other man is leaving to work across the country #i feel so very alone and abandoned #you haven't called me baby in a while. all you could offer were apologies #i loved you i longed for you. i got over you once I'll do it again #but god i wish i didn't have to #personal #🍑