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ademainalors · 5 years

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Let’s rant about cis people for a moment

Dear cis people (and certain traitorous trans people, but I’m going to pretend it’s all cis people while I passive-aggressively side-eye you) who are straight or gay, or certain trash bis, I am sorry to give you the bad news, but gender is fake, and whatever solid line you doth hold dear to your heart for the purposes of fucking or marriage, or fucking marriage, my non-binary ass is going to destroy. I am unilaterally hot. I am the sexiest person on this planet. I have the sexy traits of all genders. It’s really sexy. I am so cute that I am banned from Saudi Arabia, not directly on the basis of my gender, but because I, due to my gender, am so hot, that my hotness would reflect off of their semi-phallic fountain, and burn Riyadh to the fucking ground. I am so hot that Russia bans me, not directly due to my gender, but because I am so hot that there would be a war to stand in my presence, and thus, if I so chose to, I would join the Mongols with the accolade of invading during the Russian winter and winning, winning the hearts of every Russian. I am so hot that I am the subject of every Italian love song, yes, every single one. And yet, none of you has the guts to take my heart. It’s right there, yohoo, sexiest person on the planet, you’d think I’d be hitched by now, and You’re so attached to your genders and your orientations, that the HOTTEST person on the PLANET, you would pass up on the opportunity to go to coffee with? See, when trans people say y’all are transphobic for not thinking we’re cute, this is what we mean, you do very much think we’re cute, as the hottest person on the planet, do you think I don’t get a sexy smile, a sexy wink, all those flirtatious gestures, and yet, you COWARDS, don’t aCT on your GoDdAMeD FEELINGS. It’s like all that GROSS cis ROMEO and JULIET shit about the power of love and shit just evaporates, and oh, suddenly I’m going to evaluate this rationally, even though five seconds ago I was a nerd asking a cheerleader to the prom even though we don’t have any common hobbies *sips tea.* Listen, you don’t have to give up your sexual orientation if it gives you comfort, you don’t have convert to the cult of pansexuality, and actually, if I’m being real honest, it’s a real pain in my ass when you’re one of those folks who I’ve got to do emotional labor for, I’m a person, I’m not a Panera, my job is not to churn out pans, if you’re fucking questioning, let me assure you, that I am neither more of an expert on your sexuality than you, nor is it a prerequisite to pan-ness fuck the first enby you lock eyes with, this isn’t a Pokemon Porno, you pans, certain trash bis, and future pans you have the opposite problem, stop asking me out, you don’t actually think I’m cute and we have nothing in common. But I was talking about the other end of the spectrum, cis people (side eyes certain trans) that are not pans etc. al, which I will now refer to NPEA, not pans etc. al. NPEA, it would be unhealthy for you to ask me out right now, even though you think I’m hot, because the reason you are flirting with me senselessly despite having no interest of ever dating me is a whole lot of binarism in the deepest recesses of your brain that you’re just going to have to yeet, if you misgender me, if you do that NPEA thing where you passive-aggressively treat me like a binary gender in the hopes that I’ll become one, if you scream, WHAT A WO/MAN YOU ARE during sex and it’s not a humiliation BDSM kink thing, I’m sorry, it’s not going to work. The fact that you are an NPEA is, to a certain extent, a shorthand for I’ve never considered that enbies actually existed in my life and that they could be hot. In the same way that an interracial relationship would be work, or that a straight relationship ought to be work *sips tea*, you’re going to have to do that relationship thing that you OUGHT TO BE DOING ANYWAYS *sips tea* of communicating your needs to your partner and meeting your partners needs. I understand that a lot of you are very bad lovers, and you’re bad at communication, but by flirting with enbies with no intention of ever dating them whatsoever, none at all, you are not only reinforcing your bad communication habits, but you are being an ass, and yes, I recognize that mistakes are made, that feelings are misinterpreted, that the actions of a cute waitress are not out of love, but out of capitalism, I’m not writing an edict here, assholes, you know who you are and you ought to be ashamed of yourselves, as much as I want to hunt you shitty NPEA for sport, I have no intent to do so, mostly because I think you’re hot too, and I hold hope in my heart that someday you will all cast aside your transphobia and become the enby loving gay, straight, and bis you were always meant to be, but right now you’re being assholes, and I’m going to give you the step by step process to go from asshole to not asshole. First, when that enby that you’re senselessly flirting with asks you out, be honest as to why you are rejecting them. You do think they’re cute! Don’t do that gaslighty shit where you pretend that they were never cute, acknowledge that they’re cute, acknowledge that you have fears about being in a relationship with them, both about how their existence smashes your worldview, and how they might not fit into your transphobic XYZ social structure, say that you don’t want to put them through the emotional labor of detransphobifying your existence. Step two, is to detransphobify your existence, fun fact, if your shitty family and your shitty friends aren’t transphobes, that makes it easier to date the sexiest person in the world, talk to your family about trans rights. Make it clear to them that you stan trans rights and you don’t stan them not stanning trans rights. Change the culture in the spaces that you operate in to be more accepting of non-binary folks. Hold your friends and family members accountable for misgendering people. We can’t do all this shit, we’re too busy wasting our time with the futile task of flirting with you! Clean your own damn house! Finally, once you’ve done that, don’t force it. you’ve recognized the universal sexiness that is found in enbies, but you ought not to fetishize it, don’t emulate the trash pans, you still need the other shit that makes a good relationship, just be open to the idea that your love doesn’t have to be binary. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

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deliadexaerisofficialuniver-blog · 5 years

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What trans people are actually saying to transphobes if you’d be so kind as to stop twisting it/shoving words in our mouths/literally contradicting what we’ve already actually said

Basically it’s this: When transphobes on Tumblr talk about justifying misgendering trans people on the basis of not wanting to date someone with a certain set of genitals, and try to invalidate other non-transphobic straight and gay people’s orientations on the basis of the fact that many would date, have even sought out, have dated, or are dating trans people, I always see it coming down to them acting like trans people are saying that the only way to not misgender a trans person is to fuck them... Like they act as though some trans person has actually come up to them and said “fuck me, or you’re a transphobe,” and okay, you can make up whatever bullshit you want, but I just don’t see it happening. I see trans people saying “just because you don’t want to fuck someone doesn’t mean that their gender is invalid.” Y’all act like we are trying to say you can’t say “no,” when, IDK about other trans people, but I feel like being able to say “no” for *ANY* reason, and have it respected is fucking important. If how I should have been able to say “no” to my ex wife when I wasn’t in the mood without guilting is a fucking issue, you should absolutely be able to say “no” to someone you’re not even in a relationship with without it being dissed. The problem is y’all act like some trans person actually came up to you, and was like “you like *insert gender*, and I’m *insert gender,* so you have to fuck me, which would be a ludicrous expectation regardless of whether a person was trans or cis no matter what their gender was (even if entitled cis dudes often do seem to act like it should be that way with straight women, but yay, the joys of misogyny...) all you said was “no,” and they flew off the handle and got all pressuring and rapey at you, and acting like you have to fuck them, otherwise you’re being a violent transphobe, when we all know that’s not what happened. I can’t even imagine such a scene, it’s such a stretch of the imagination. We all know you’re just pissed that someone you aren’t into has the audacity to identify as the gender they are without having the bits that the binary says define whether or not a person is “allowed” to be that gender. I’m not gonna act like no trans person has ever expressed interest in a transphobe and been rejected, but here’s the thing: When you reject a trans person, and choose to go further and intentionally misgender them, like legit say to a trans woman “No, I don’t date men,” (Read “ No, You’re a man.”), or to a trans man “No, I don’t date women,” (”No, You’re a woman,”) which *is* something that actually happens, first off, that trans person is immediately going to lose interest, so taking literally anything they say after that point as though there were any interest remaining at all is a *huge* misinterpretation. Literally nothing a trans person says after you misgender them is coming from a place of interest or attraction. If they naturally respond by correcting your misgendering, you shouldn’t read a trans woman’s “Excuse me, but I’m a chick,” or a trans man’s “I’m not a woman, you ass,” as “But you should date me,” because that is not the intended meaning at ALL, you should take it as “Wow, you’re an ass and you literally did not have to misgender me to say ‘no thanks, I’m not interested,’ ‘no thanks, you’re not my type,’ or literally any other version of ‘No’ which would not be violent.”

The act of saying “no” isn’t what’s transphobic, not being interested is not what’s transphobic, and none of us are trying to imply that it is. The act of misgendering is what we are saying is transphobic.

Even when you choose to misconstrue a statement as simple as “It’s normal for straight men and lesbians to be attracted to trans women,” you’re entirely missing the meaning and tacking what you *want* it to mean on so you can *act* like trans people are saying you’re not allowed to have a preference as to which men or women you do or don’t want to date, when that’s not being said at all. It’s not even remotely intended to mean “You are a lesbian or a straight man, so you should be attracted to every trans woman on the planet, or else you’re a transphobe,” it is intended to mean: “Hey, sometimes when cis people are attracted to a trans person, they freak out when they find out we’re trans, because society told them that it’s not normal, or even for example, makes them gay if they’re a man attracted to a transgender woman, and choose to respond to us for their attraction with violence that sometimes even ends up in trans people getting murdered because society taught them that it’s not normal, so we’re affirming that it is normal, so that less instances of a cis person being attracted to a trans person of the gender they are attracted to will end up in someone being subject to an act of violence like being misgendered, outed, beaten, or even murdered for a normal attraction that’s not our fault, or a ‘lie’ or a ‘trick,’ or a ‘trap,’ and would kindly appreciate if you would stop reinforcing the idea that a cis person *should* feel ‘tricked’ or ‘lied to’ for finding a trans person attractive, by saying that our gender *is* a lie, so that trans panic murders and beatings, and other violent responses to instances of a cis person being attracted to a trans person could, you know, stop happening.”

Is misgendering a trans person the same as murdering a trans person? No, but it’s still an act of violence. You’re attacking that person’s identity and personhood. You are outing them to other people around who may commit physical violence as well, but even in the absence of physical violence, social violence is still violence as well. It’s literally an intentional addition to the exisiting societal pressure to try to convert trans people out of our authentic genders and into the gender you want us to be in order to make the world fit your cut and dry false binary of penis = man and vagina = woman.

You want to talk about conversion therapy? Cool. Creating an environment of constant misgendering is literally one of the primary aspects of attempts at transphobic conversion therapy. My parents pulled that shit on me. Literally any time you misgender a trans person, you are attempting to convert them out of being trans, you’re literally just another brick in the transphobic wall that tries to keep us from transitioning, or even simply living in our identities authentically without finding them under constant assault. Trying to convince a trans woman that she is a man, or a trans man that he is a woman is a direct act of violence, and a denial of the fact that their gender is valid. It’s a psychological assault on someone who’s already spent an entire life being told that their body makes them a different person than who they are inside, and had to work past year upon year of transphobic indoctrination to finally be able to accept themselves, and not fear being themselves. It’s an attempt to shove them back into the closet and dictate who they are “supposed” to be for your transphobic “comfort.” Trans lives are more important than whether or not a cis person feels discomfort at realizing they are attracted to us.

Meanwhile, I can’t think of any example of homophobic conversion therapy trying to use “Okay, you like women? Date this trans woman.” in order to “get the gay out,” which would be *incredibly* illogical considering that the goal of conversion therapy is to get gay people to date cis men if they’re women, or cis women if they’re men, or that a trans person tried to say that lesbians should try out cis men, or gay people should try out cis women. Come to think of it, I can’t think of a time that a trans person has tried to say that people who like women have to date trans women, or that people who like men have to date trans men regardless of whether they are gay or straight, just that it’s normal to be attracted to us, and we’d appreciate it if y’all could learn how to say “no,” without having to add a misgendering on top of it to justify it. You don’t have to justify it. You literally can just say “no.” “But, I said no and I got pushback! (They asked ‘why’ or were like ‘but come on...’ or any other example of pressuring.) ” Okay... That makes the *individual* you’re rejecting an asshole, regardless of gender, and has nothing to do with them being trans. Some women are assholes. Some men are assholes. Doesn’t matter if they’re trans or cis. You still don’t have to misgender them. You can say “I’m just not interested.” You can say “No means No.” You can even just say “What the fuck’s you’re problem, I’m not interested, and I don’t owe you a reason, now fuck off!” If they keep pushing it, they’re, again, being an ass, and you have every right to act like they’re being an ass, but this doesn’t include misgendering them, or otherwise being violent. If someone won’t go away or leave you alone, you have a right to be left alone, get help. If someone invades your space, that’s fucking violent, and you have every right to defend yourself. None of that requires misgendering. The problem isn’t that trans people are trying to force anyone to date/fuck us, we aren’t saying that anyone at all has to, not to mention that plenty of people are already dating/fucking us regardless of your disinterest. The problem isn’t that you’re not allowed to say “no,” you fucking *SHOULD* say no to anyone you’re not attracted to, even if it’s just because you don’t like something about their face, or the way they laugh, and wouldn’t be able to stand dealing with it every day. The problem is that transphobes just aren’t interested in any change in behavior which requires them to stop misgendering us in order to stop being a part of the problem. Y’all act like saying “no” to trans people requires being able to misgender us. It doesn’t. You’re just a transphobic prick who wants to be able to misgender trans people in the hopes that we will convert to being cis. Ain’t gonna happen. Not sorry. Trans women will continue to identify as women. Trans men will continue to identify as men. Plenty of people who like women will continue dating trans women. Plenty of people who like men will continue dating trans men. Be as pissed about it as you want, it’s not your life. Reject as many trans people as you want, you’re a transphobe, you’re literally saving us from making a mistake. Just quit acting like you have to misgender us in order to say “no,” and yeah, expect us to get indignant at being misgendered when you make the choice to misgender us, but if you think that indignance is coming from a place of trying to pushback at your rejection once you’ve made it clear that you’re a transphobic asshole, you’re delusional. No trans person wants to date a transphobe, we just want you to quit misgendering us. You can make a choice not to misgender a trans person without having to date or fuck them. It’s really not that hard.

#trans #transgender #transphobia #terfs #tehms #Haven't personally been rejected and misgendered lately #just sick of seeing people harassing us and acting like we're asking for anything more than to stop misgendering us

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gaiatheorist · 6 years

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Watering weeds.

Archimedes moment in the garden, I am literally and metaphorically watering weeds. I’m literally watering weeds because the omnishambles that is the UK social security system has me jumping through hoops when I’m sometimes barely able to stand. I’ve been pouring all of my energy into preparing for the ‘work capability assessment’ that should have taken place yesterday. It was cancelled with less than 24 hours before the scheduled appointment, but I’d already thrown myself so hard into the research and prep that I’d completely neglected the garden. On a practical level, the preparation is done, ready for the rescheduled appointment. The cynic in me thinks that the cancellation might be a psychological tactic, to make me give up, and abandon the pointless process. (It is pointless, I’ve read the ‘guidance for assessors’, with all the notes on ‘enabling’ paraplegics to use their more-functional limbs, and the ‘acceptable’ levels of involuntary bowel or bladder evacuations that don’t count incontinence as a functional impairment. That’s right, the UK government has an ‘acceptable’ level of soiling oneself.) I can mostly walk and talk for part of the day, I will be assessed as ‘fully fit’ on the basis of that, and have to start the draining and demeaning appeal process.

I’m metaphorically watering weeds in respect of the ex-in-laws. I was already having a very shaky day, due to the build-up for the cancelled assessment, I really should have absented myself to avoid them, but I didn’t have a viable escape strategy. If I’d gone to bed, unwell, which I was, they would have clucked, and coo-ed, and imposed themselves, offering ‘help’ with the housework, or shopping. I don’t want them anywhere near me, and I certainly don’t want the mother-in-law ironing my underpants. (Yes, she irons underwear.) If I’d ‘hidden’ in the kitchen or garden, they would have followed me, they’re space-invaders, the kid is starting to realise that he needs to have his bags packed BEFORE they arrive, because they both hover-and-bother, Grandma invariably tries to ‘help’ him pick up his things, with her stench of dental-rot and perfume clinging to everything. She gets closer to us than we’re comfortable with, and we really don’t want her touching our things. Granddad touches things that don’t belong to him, too, he’ll pick up letters, bills, anything in his eye-line, I’ve started leaving ‘decoy’ objects on top of a cupboard, because he quite simply will not leave things alone. ‘Going out’ wasn’t an option, on bad days, I know I’m not safe to leave the house.

They blither in here, and touch stuff, and ask stupid questions, and make stupid observations, it always infuriated me, but, on bad days, I genuinely cannot deal with them. When the ex and I were ‘married’, there was more contact, it tapered off when I stopped going ‘out’ with him, and stopped going to their house for Sunday lunch. “They want to know why you don’t go any more, they think they’ve done something to upset you.” They had, it was ‘be them.’ I knew it was ‘just their way’, I knew that was how they cared for, and about people, but I’d pretended to be a ‘fit’ in their world for too long, the emotional energy of fitting my very square peg into their very round hole was too much. I wasn’t like them, and I didn’t like them, the ‘being nice’ and false-front, for the sake of appearances was more than I could bear, the ‘marriage’ had been dead for years, I needed the energy I was expending on ‘acting normal’ in front of them just to survive.

Yesterday, one word that she uttered tipped my already-messy head into a spin. I could, quite literally, have punched a 4ft 11in pensioner-woman in the face. I didn’t, but I wanted to.

I’d sat in my alcove-’office’ when their car pulled up, it’s a physical distancing strategy, my grab-rails of furniture are also barriers, there’s only one path in to the office alcove, and the way the kid spreads out his various belongings and cables when he’s here makes it even more inaccessible. They can’t get in, and I don’t come out.

She knocked-then-came-in-anyway, had an obvious nosey at where I hadn’t dusted, or vacuumed, and noted that there’s still a pile of the kid’s folded laundry that he hasn’t taken upstairs. “Are you alright, duck? Where’s your MOTHER?” It was the way she said the word ‘mother’, their in-joke of pronouncing it ‘mither’ has never really been funny, and their concept of ‘mother’ has always been at odds with mine. I watered weeds for 20 years, trying to mother my son as I felt appropriate, whilst mothering theirs ‘to the standard to which he was accustomed.’ It damned near broke me.

They are old fashioned. They are traditional, in the patriarchal sense. Men are to be ‘looked after’, and women ‘taken care of.’ I’m an in-between, non-binary creature, but my birth certificate says ‘female’, so I was expected to devote all of my energy to cooking, housework, and generally worshipping their blue-eyed-boy. I played at it for years, but it wasn’t me, I can’t ‘belong’ to anyone or anything, I’m a human being (ish), not a housemaid with holes in.

I realised this morning that I’m still watering weeds, I’m still placing myself below other people on my imaginary list of priorities. I was hanging my son’s bedding on the line to dry, he’d put his clothes-laundry in the machine himself, but, without grandma-chiding to ‘get those sheets off’, he hadn’t classed bedding as laundry. He’s in a routine when he’s at uni, he sends his laundry to grandma at the weekends, because she does his Dad’s, too. The ex has to be chased and chided to change his bedding, he has a 70-odd year old Ironing Gremlin ask for his used bedding every week, he needs reminding to do it every week, according to the kid. Their style of parenting has made the ex very lax, he has learned that, if you leave anything for long enough, someone else will do it. Their expectations and traditions meant that, for two decades, to keep the peace, I was the ‘someone.’

Hanging the kid’s bedding, because Grandma hadn’t taken it in, I ‘caught’ myself thinking “Hang it so the dog can’t piss on it.” I’m watering weeds, because the ex didn’t seem to care that his dog piddled on everything. Why would he care, eventually the smell-he-couldn’t-smell would drive me into action, on my hands and knees, scrubbing until my hands bled.

I’m still watering weeds in respect of the ex. I’m paying way over the odds for my phone and broadband because he only has one email address, with that provider, and I didn’t want to cause him inconvenience by asking him to set up a new one. I’ve asked now, and reminded, and asked him to confirm when he’s done it. I’m reliant on him to send me a contribution towards groceries now the kid is back for the summer, and I’ve run out of my own money. I’m still paying the insurance for one of his motorcycles, because I became bored of asking him to take the direct debit over to his own bank account. Sometimes he remembers to send me the money, sometimes he doesn’t, and he’s still sending me the amount for last year’s premiums, despite me telling him more than once that there’s been an increase. He doesn’t have to send me anything, there’s no formal agreement, and the kid is technically an adult now. Ironically, I’m now even more dependent on him than I was when we were ‘married’, and I hate it.

I hate pandering to him, so I’m not. I’m not ‘chasing’ him for the insurance money, or the grocery money, or the confirmation that I can switch phone-providers. I do not have the resources to water weeds, and ‘asking’ him for money grates against me more than sitting in the waiting room at the food bank. (He would HATE to know that I did that, he’d feel it was diminishing his status as man-provider, but then he’d just tell me again that he’s selling some of his motorbikes, and ask if it would be ‘easier for me’ if he paid the grocery-money into my bank account, rather than PayPal. It would be easier if he let me know a reliable schedule for when he’s going to pay it, it doesn’t matter where he pays it. He has the upper hand, yet again, and I hate it.)

I’m watering weeds by not confronting the ex, by ‘being nice’ to the in-laws, by allowing the kid to leave used crockery all over the kitchen. I need to take control of the weeds before they strangle my produce. The produce in this instance is whatever is left of ‘me.’

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raesportfolio · 5 years

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WNM Blog #8: Sara reminded me I’m gay

I love women.

I like Sara much more than Cass. I’m probably being too familiar, but they’ll never read this, and thus, who cares? What matters here is my point: Sara Wachter-Boettcher is significantly more pleasing than Cass Sunstein – particularly when it comes to making holistic arguments. I say this because although both are white and – seemingly undeniably – upperclass, Sara manages to really capture the idea of inclusivity in tech, and the democracy that comes with it. A point that Cass Sunstein managed to miss throughout practically the entire book. This isn’t to say I didn’t agree with Sunstein just as much as I agree with Wachter-Boettcher, it’s to say that Sara’s arguments appeal to me even more because her points don’t forget I exist.

In a way, that also has a lot to do with Sunstein’s work: his viewpoint wasn’t aimed towards me and wasn’t something I would have normally sought out because of it, after all, but Sara’s is. I’m rambling and missing the point: Technically Wrong is good, it’s great. It’s easy to read and encompasses some of my main concerns not only within the tech industry but within most of the corporate world I am destined to enter within the next few months. She summarizes and emphasizes all of her main arguments in a way that is practically impossible to misconstrue, and that’s exactly how I like it. Shout out to her.

Now, about what I came here to discuss other than how much I like this book so far. The world of tech is so racist, sexist, and homo-, trans-, and queerphobic, I literally wanted to scream with every example Wachter-Boettcher proposed. Let’s get into two that rankled in particular:

“Take the story of product designer Amélie Lamont, whose manager once claimed she hadn’t seen her in a meeting. ‘You’re so black, you blend into the chair,’ she told her. Or Erica Joy, a black software engineer who wrote that past coworkers had constantly assumed she was a single mom” (17).

and

“... Eve might offer the features Delano wants – it can track her periods and her moods – but it still makes a ton of assumptions about its users, referring them as ‘girls,’ using slang like ‘hookups,’ and describing sex in a way that’s centered entirely on male genitalia: a banana with a condom, a banana without a condom or no banana. If you’re an adult woman in a relationship with anyone who’s not a man [or better put, anyone without a penis], you��re probably still going to feel left out” (31).

First of all, who the HELL thinks it’s appropriate to tell someone they’re so black they blend into the chairs!? I know damn well Amélie had some color on that wasn’t black, therefore making her f*cking visible! That comment wasn’t just racist, but colorist and UNNECESSARY! Just tell her to speak up more at meetings, thanks! Secondly, y’all still assuming all black women are mothers? And to add onto that, single mothers? For the love of ***, please drop that racist stereotype. I can bring out a list of statistics that will prove you wrong, try me. Lastly, associating fruit with genitalia is so corny, even teenage me would have deleted that app. That’s not my real critique though – all people who menstruate are not women, nor are they all sexually active with people who have penises – it is all those -phobics I listed earlier to assume so.

Tech does this all the time, as Wachter-Boettcher makes clear. It’s the default for most apps, the default effect that follows isn’t just people like me (non-binary and queer as hell) not kicking up a fuss about our pronouns, gender identity, and sexual identities not being available and signing up anyway. It’s cishets also not thinking about it, and when presented with us, revolting. It’s cishets feeling like they are the only normal and proceeding to oppress us. Finally, it is cishets feeling like it is their space and their space only, and we’re invading.

It is the reinforcing of “something most of us already have stuck in the deep bits of our brains… [and it’s] strengthening that association rather than weakening it” (38).We’re not invading any space because we belong there too – because we are normal humans and we use tech the same way as anyone else. Tech has all this ability to make change, and refuses because the people who run it are too busy being secular and looking for “culture fits” instead of new ventures and hires that will help them grow and bring their dreams of “making the world a better place” to fruition.

This was long but I have feelings and they must be shared. Anyway, Sara Wachter-Boettcher and her writing reminded me exactly why I listen to women and their outlook – and why I love and am attracted to them so much. Imposter syndrome got defeated today.

#technically wrong #sara wachter-boettcher #technology #social media #digital media #humans in tech #inclusivity #rae speaks #rae has opinions #oppression

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thependragonqueen · 6 years

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trust me if it were still as dangerous to be lgbt as it used to be you wouldnt be begging to be lgbt you would be staying the hell away just like every other cishet fuck who let us die and the hands of homophobes and transphobes. i dont care how hard you think it is to be ace, you will never experience the horrible shit actual lgbt people deal with, and youre fucking lucky. just be a supportive ally instead of invading our spaces and throwing a fit when we get upset

Lmfao I ever said that Asexuals had it worse than gays. I understand all the shit and oppression trans and gays have been through and are still going through!! I’m always trying to include them and I always call out homophobia. All I said was that Asexuals receive some hate and bullying. And that that’s wrong. And guess what? People can focus on two problems at a time !!! Wow !!! Also, ive said it over and over again but I guess I gotta say it again since fuckin cowards like you wanna keep sending me hate on anon. ITS. NOT. JUST. LGBT. If it’s just LGBT then what about the pansexuals? They’re apart of it too. I’m sorry you think Asexuals are “invading” the community. They’re apart of the community. I know Asexuals are new to the community. And so are pansexual. But so are non-binaries. Even though it started as just LGBT things change and adapt to a new society. Words are added. In fact asexual and pansexual are relatively new words because no one ever bothered trying to see that there were multiple people who lived without sexual attraction. And since the idea of not identifying with the gender given to you at birth is so new, pansexual is a relatively new term as well. Anyways, get off anon, show people you’re an asshole who wastes their time to send hate and try to ruin someone else’s day. I’m an asexual and also an ally. I don’t call myself gay because I’m not. I call myself asexual. When it comes to people being gay I call myself an ally. But you wouldn’t know that. Because you jumped to conclusions without knowing who I am and made gross assumptions. So fuck you! Fuck you for being a coward! And fuck you for sending hate!!! Go do something fucking important ! Do something worth your fucking time !!!! Stop being a dick asshole who’s a fucking coward hiding behind anon. Let the world know you’re a fucking asshat !!!-sincerely, an inclusionist who loves all and stands up for everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community.

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