As I've previously mentioned, my grandmother grew up on a farm in Småland.
Her father had hired a farmhand to help with the cattle and the farm work. The farmhand had a disabled brother named Gunnar.
This was back in the 1930s, so Gunnar didn't have any diagnosis or anything. But his body simply didn't allow him to do heavy lifting and physically demanding jobs. He also seems to have had a poor immune system. And so he struggled to make a living. Working as a farmhand was one of very few career opportunities for a man with no (formal) education back then. (At least in that area.)
So the able-bodied brother asked if Gunnar could come and work on the farm, despite not being able to do hard manual labor. And my great-grandfather agreed to this.
Gunnar started helping my great-grandmother around the house. He was physically unable to do "a man's job", but he turned out to be incredibly good at "women's" work. My great-grandmother had been feeling lonely, working alone in a big farmhouse all day. Gunnar didn't just help lessen the burden of running a household. Him and my great-grandmother became close friends. They talked and sang and drank coffee in the comfortable silence between people who truly know, trust and love eachother.
My grandmother was an only child for most of her childhood, and Gunnar was her best friend. He always had time to tell her a story, or to play with her, or to just let her sit in his lap while he drank his coffee. And she loved him to bits.
According to my grandmother, nobody could tell as good stories and fairy tales as Gunnar. He had a way of bringing any story to life, to make you feel like you were there, with the prince in the enchanted castle. (He also accidentally put her off eating liquorice for an entire lifetime, but that's a story for another day.)
I never got to meet Gunnar. He died when I was just a child. (My grandmother actually brought me along to the funeral.) But despite never having met him, I still feel like I know him, because my grandmother has told me so much about him.
The only thing she didn't tell me about until very recently was his disability.
Because it simply didn't matter. Not to her, and not to the rest of the family. He wasn't "the disabled one" - he was just Gunnar. And if Gunnar couldn't do heavy lifting, someone else could do it so what did it matter?
Gunnar had his own responsibilities on the farm. He was allowed to work and contribute to the survival of the farm pretty much on his own terms. He wasn't forced (or expected) to do things that hurt his body. He was allowed to focus on the things that he could do, and he was respected for doing them.
Gunnar was not a burden. Gunnar was a skilled and diligent worker. He was also a good friend and a loving member of the family.
I wanted to share this story with y'all because I feel like this is a perspective on disability that's almost never brought up.
plus sized clothes should not cost more than non-plus sized clothes and that's just that. "it takes more fabric and work to make!" as if XL isn't more fabric than XS. you can't tell me that 1X is where they absolutely must mark up the prices or they strain the operations of the company. if it really does, then spread the price across all the sizes, don't punish those who are larger just for being larger. "they have to design it differently and that's an excess cost!!!" really then why is the excess cost never on the smaller sizes? how come it's always that they changed the design for the larger sizes and not that they changed the design for the smaller sizes? the fashion world surrounds those who are a certain shape and everyone else can fuck off i guess. jesus. yes this includes men's "big and tall" sections.
I was sad seeing the ‘inclusivity flag’ did not mention disabled people at all. Disabled people are often left out of pride events due to a lack of accessibility, being thought of as being unable to communicate their queerness and infantalisation of disabled people.
I propose this flag which includes zigzag stripes and more muted colours as a reference to the disability flag. Because queer, disabled people are so often left out from pride events it is important we be remembered.
[Alt text two versions of the inclusivity flag - one of which includes the intersex flag.
Both of these inclusivity flags have been made to have more muted colours and the rainbows zig-zagging down the flag, akin to that of a disability flag.
There is a dark grey background in the gaps at the top and bottom of the flag.]
why closed captioning should always be provided on every video:
Deaf People Exist
auditory processing disorder is a Bitch
people with ADHD can find it hard to concentrate on what is being said without the words in front of them
^autistic people for the same reason
autistic people may also find it hard to interpret verbal messages within the context of the video, so it's useful to have written alternatives to fall back on
do you know how painful it is to be excluded from every joke, every video, every conversation because others just Can't Be Bothered?
some people live in a conservative household or with family who don't share the same ideals, and they may not have privacy to view things on their own, so they may need to watch things with the volume extremely low or muted
We Want To Watch Videos In Public, Dammit
feel free to add on!
as always, ableism will get you blocked (:
Hey!! Just informing yall that mascles week starts today!
Happy Masculine Lesbian Awareness Week!
Say what you want about tiktok but the trend of writing the captions onto the video? That’s super helpful/inclusive for deaf/HoH people (and even people who don’t speak a language natively etc) and I just think that’s kinda cool.
So many platforms have videos that aren’t accessible to people, but it’s become the norm on tiktok to caption the videos and that’s pretty nice. Also since the captions are actually on the video, that means when it gets reposted to other websites it is still accessible!
[Image ID: A tumblr text post, edited blackout-poetry style to read, "discourse is so tiring and the vast majority of identities like pan and omni and polysexual have created a unique brand of inherently sexy people. Have a nice day."]
discourse is so tiring and the vast majority of identities like pan and omni and polysexual have created a unique brand of inherently sexy people
have a nice day
Submitted by @ask-reagon-dreamer-ask-blog-open
You know what's fucked up?
We're forced to learn a second language in school. French, Spanish, whatever.
But in most schools...
Learning your country's native sign language is not mandatory.
This is not okay!
D/deaf people aren't only ones who would benefit from this. Hard-of-hearing or Hearing Impaired people, CODA or those in the Deaf community who's first language is signed, those with Auditory Processing Disorders, those with verbal disabilities, and many many others NEED this to be more widely taught.
We can't force them to speak our language, but we are privileged enough that we can learn theirs. And rejecting this is an insult. It's ableist.
Auditory and verbal disorders also sometimes are comorbid with other disorders and disabilities such as Autism and ADHD.
But if you want a more selfish excuse to learn, consider this:
You can communicate in loud environments
You can communicate in places you're expected to remain quiet
You can communicate under water
You can communicate across a room without having to yell
You broaden your friendship circle by being more inclusive
It's hecking fun to learn!
More job opportunities are available to you
Sign language needs to be taught in schools. Period.
any other neurodivergent teachers just have the urge to like,,, corral all the kids with ieps/504s/accommodations/who stand out/etc. and just tell them it’s okay to ‘actually’ be who they are? ik it would require violating hipaa but i can’t help but want to make sure as many kids as possible have the chance to grow up differently than i did
i used to want to run a boarding school for this reason but the logistics seem impossible 😭
also, it pains me to listen to my coworkers talk about their “problem” students and guessing that they might be neurodivergent. i keep thinking about how much i would have liked to have a teacher who openly stimmed while they were in the classroom or did literally anything else associated with neurodivergence bc even if the students were nt, the fact that they will spend years trying to unlearn the message that there’s something wrong with them is concerning???
why is it so hard to get people to be nice to each other :/
"Masculinity and the desire to align your identity with manhood can't be revolutionary" is such an Arctic cold take. It's reductive, regressive, and frankly disappointingly uncritical.
I am intersex. I was forcibly assigned female and pushed into womanhood without my consent or say. To reject this assignment and align myself with manhood IS an act of revolt. I don't have to be a woman nor do I have to be strictly nonbinary and separate from manhood (I am a nonbinary man) to be acceptable. To say otherwise is intersexist. Do not speak over or for intersex people. To force intersex people to be nonbinary or female aligned outside of their own identification is intersexist. Intersex men and trans men aren't evil for "choosing" to be men. Men also aren't inherently separate from nonbinary identity and if people can identify as nonbinary women it goes both ways. Period. Do not police identity it's really not hard.
I'd also like to take a moment to point out how horrifically ignorant this is to a swath of queer history in general, and how this erases the revolutionary acts and presentation of people ranging from butches, trans men and trans mascs, masculine LGBTQ women who don't identify as butches, intersex people, and various other identities that have in many ways seized empowerment through masculinity.
Any act of self actualization in gender that defies the roles assigned to you in society is an act of revolution regardless of your exact identity, orientation, gender assignment, or the presentation you choose to use. Femininity is revolutionary, but so is masculinity. Context matters. Femininity is not a pure essence that will cure the world of evil and masculinity is not an inherent source of evil. You cannot force Oppressed men to make ourselves smaller and more diminutive just by proxy of being men. We are being harmed and have the right to say so. To say cis women oppress and often fetishize me as a TRANS intersex man is not wrong and doesn't make me a misogynist.
To place all of manhood and masculinity as a threat is also incredibly racist and ignores the experiences of masculine aligned people of color as well, which cannot go unstated. I am white so can't speak from my own experiences but I will not minimize these voices. Racism intersects with EVERYTHING and if you don't actively seek to dismantle the racially motivated aspects of all forms of oppression you are slipping.
It's one thing to have trauma from men, I have that in spades myself and I AM a man. I get PISSED at other men, CONSTANTLY. Because I see masculinity being twisted into something abusive and predatory and I UNDERSTAND why some people fear men universally, but you have to unpack that fear. I feared men from abuse too, and I literally am one. You are allowed to be unattracted, frustrated, and critical toward men. You are NOT however valid in harassing, threatening, attacking, or abusing men on mere assumptions based on their status as men. There is a difference between the toxic and predatory masculinity that hurt you (and hurt me and others, too) vs masculinity itself. To conflate all masculinity with predation is to ignore material solutions in favor of projecting your frustrations uselessly and harming others in the process. This doesn't fix the problem or teach anyone how to reclaim a kinder and healthy masculinity.
There IS a disproportionate amount of abuse that comes from men, but this is due to the conditional effects that patriarchy (and other forms of intersecting oppression) has on ALL people including men. You can hold individuals accountable for their abusive actions without deeming manhood as a mark of evil. To push this narrative allows predatory non-men to act harmfully without criticism in many cases as well. I've been abused by people all along the gender spectrum, non-men included.
Every person alive is capable of abuse in the right conditions. This is not excusable but IS however a material result of the oppression of all people who defy white cisnormative patriarchal standards. To end this abuse is to dismantle these systemic patriarchal structures that effect EVERYONE.
Man ≠ Patriarch
When will y’all learn
How to use Intersex-Inclusive Language
(Language involving sensitive parts of the body are censored to make Tumblr happy)
Endosex/Dyadic: both terms for someone who isn’t intersex, I’ll be using endosex here because dyadic has other known meanings
AFAB/AMAB: someone who was assigned female/male at birth, remember being AFAB/AMAB doesn’t equal endosex, and it doesn’t equal having all of the sex characteristics that’s expected of endosex females/males
AXAB: someone who was assigned ‘X’ at birth, typically used for those with intersex traits
AIAB: someone who was assigned intersex at birth
UAB: unassigned at birth, having not been assigned a sex at birth for whatever reason, some parents may choose to have their children unassigned
CTF: close to female, intersex folks who are closest to the female sex, but may or may not be AFAB
CTM: close to male, intersex folks who are closest to the male sex, but may or may not be AMAB
Wolffian: endosex male
Müllerian: endosex female
PWHV/PHV/VAPs: people who have v-ginas/people having v-ginas/v-ginal people
PWHP/PHP/PEPs: people who have p-nises/people having p-nises/p-nile people
PWHN/PHN: people who have neither/people having neither
Replacing Current Language
Instead of: female/male chromosomes
Use: XX/XY chromosomes
Instead of: female/male g-nitalia
Instead of: both sexes
Use: all sexes
When you’re speaking about biological factors or the capability of a body, try and take apart what you’re meaning vs what you’re saying. For example, if you’re trying to talk about people who can get pregnant/conceive, say so, rather than “AFABs who can get pregnant” or just “AFABs”, etc.
Good intersex-inclusive language contains:
“people who can get pregnant” / “people who can conceive”
“people who can get others pregnant” / “people who can impregnate others”
“people who have br-asts”
“people who menstruate” / “menstruating people” / “people who have periods”
To include people who have undergone hormone replacements, reassignment surgeries, have become infertile, or otherwise, you could include “or could/were/had” after “can”, for example: “people who can or could get pregnant”, “people who have or had a uter-s”
Making flags for all transfems/transmascs with meanings relating to biological sex. Even if you include an intersex stripe or AXAB stripe, your biological sex shouldn’t matter enough to get put on a flag that’s meant to resemble an experience all sexes can have (of course you can make AMAB transfem flags, AXAB transmasc flags, etc)
Treating intersex people as inherently non-binary in terms of gender, because gender doesn’t relate to sex, and that includes intersex
Dictating when an intersex person can call themselves cis or trans, this includes dictating when an AMAB intersex person can call themself transmasc, for example
Dictating when an intersex person can call themselves gay, lesbian, etc, yes, even if they are AFAB, identify as cis, and use the term mlm for themselves, intersex people’s gender can be interpreted in an extremely different way than endosex people
Calling the use of intersex-inclusive language ‘woke’ or ‘too many words’ or ‘inappropriate’. Use the proper words for what you’re talking about, if you mean people with p-nises, say people with p-nises, and if it’s two more words than usual, so what? You’re including the excluded
Referring to things like endometriosis, br-ast c-ncer, t-sticular c-ncer, and similar disorders as “women’s/men’s health issues”
Gatekeeping self-diagnosed intersex people who have done their research and have substancial evidence
Expecting intersex people to tell you their assigned sex, whether they’re diagnosed, what they’re diagnosed with, what their sex traits consist of, or what they look like on the outside
Intersex is beautiful, intersex is handsome, intersex is stunning, and we deserve inclusivity, all 130+ million of us
Look I am always going to STAN the Black girl. Like I'm 10/10 for the Black girl 100% of the time.
Include access information on your websites - parking, toilets, tickets, will there be strobe lighting, is there a toilet with a changing station, how far is the car park from the event space, is the event autism friendly, etc.
Make sure your event spaces are fully accessible (“There’s just one step” is not fully accessible).
Make sure those who need a carer are able to bring them without being charged. I don’t know how it works in other countries, but in the UK carers tickets are usually either free or heavily discounted. But I’ve come across a few pride events over here that have ignored this/not given it a thought. Not everyone has a carer who is a family member. You have to pay for their time and their tickets. Being disabled is expensive, and it prices many people out of being able to attend if they have to pay full price for their carer, someone they have no choice but to have with them.
Include disabled people on your planning committees.
Remember that disabled people are all different and have different needs. Some are wheelchair users. Some use sticks. Some don’t “look” disabled at all but definitely are (like me, on better days when I don’t need my stick so much).
We’re not an afterthought. We deserve to be there, too.
Your thousand braids fic was great. It's well written and the symbolism is lovely. For transparency, I've never read anything else you've done and don't want to make any value judgments, but my first thought as a non-binary person was "Oh, I don't fit into this story either." That's not a requirement of a writer, I know that, but I don't understand what the purpose was of having boys and girls divided in the story. 1/2
2/2 Maybe because a lot of sex ed in schools is done that way? I'm posting anonymously because there's always concern about being attacked, maybe not from you but possibly from other people who disagree with me. People not fitting the gender binary are left out of a lot of fiction, and sometimes it's intentional, but sometimes it's because the writer hasn't had a chance to consider that
I set up this particular story in that way because the majority of the historic adulthood rituals that I've read about were divided that way, whether because discussion of sex and pregnancy and other 'women's mysteries' or 'secret men's business' were part of it, or for other cultural reasons. Even when I'm writing fantasy, if I'm mentally referencing specific cultural phenomena, I try to respect the source material.
I'm sorry it made you feel excluded, though, and I have included nonbinary and transgender characters in other stories.... although remembering which is difficult. Hm... I'm fairly sure there were references to 'they' pronoun characters in some of my superhero and Evil Mart stories. The protagonist of 'Vengeance, In A Field Of Flowers' is FTM transgender, as is the protagonist in 'The Lion's Mane', the one about Tank and his cat. The most recent Patreon exclusive story has a nonbinary general, and in 'Andry And His Demon' the demon is genderless. (Andry was also written to be asexual, though I couldn't find a way to plausibly state it specifically within the confines of the story) I know there are others, but remembering things is not my strongest suit. If anyone else remembers, please leave a note.
While it's not possible for every story to be inclusive of every identity, I do try hard to make sure that everyone can find themselves in at least one or two. And if there's anyone who I haven't made a place for yet, let me know! I want there to be something for everyone.
Stacy L. Smith, founder of the USC Annenberg Inclusion Initiative (AII), the leading global think tank studying issues of inequality in entertainment, about Taylor’s “I Bet You Think About Me” music video (November 15th 2021)