#I’m totally crying right now

[skyward-floored]

Time to fall back on my most beloved favorite fic ever in the whole wide world that always makes me feel better

#I watched a happy movie which was a mistake because it made me cry #well okay it wasn’t totally happy but the point is I’m overly emotional right now and I need a good fic #rambles from the floor #I’m so tired #I feel like I’m always tired #and if I’m not sick and tired I’m depressed #*exhale* #this dumb fever is making me emotional

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

has it hit yuuta yet that if megumi is gojo’s kid then he is kind of megumi’s extremely distant uncle? Bet he’d reach for that to explain away his extremely normal protective attachment

#seaglassgardens

Not really, because he doesn’t consciously think of himself as gojo’s relative. Like, he’s aware that he is gojos super distant relative but the connection is so attenuated that he’s not really thinking of gojo as an actual part of his family, so it hasn’t hit him. But he would take literally any explanation to justify his extremely normal protective attachment to Megumi at this point

#sea glass gardens #Yuuta not normal: I’m so normal right now I’m so normal #he really is having the worlds quietest panic attack right now #he’s AWARE that he shouldn’t be feeling this way and he is absolutely helpless to stop it #I can’t remember if I’ve already posted about this but Yuuta’s awareness that this isn’t normal and the fact that he’s still feeling it #anyway is based on me when I got a super bad head injury #like the underlying cause is different but the experience is somewhat the same #I lost total emotional control #I’m like a pretty chill person who doesn’t cry or get angry easily right #I got a horrible concussion and then suddenly I would break down sobbing at the slightest issue #I would react to my alarm or any loud noises with violence #and the entire time I would be internally like ‘wtf why am I doing this this isn’t like me at all’ and still couldn’t stop it #it’s actually a bit jarring and scary to lose control that way #which is what Yuuta’s experiencing right now #he knows that this isn’t like him and he shouldnt be reacting the way that he is but he can’t /stop/ it #and it’s not his fault like he’s experiencing a magical medical issue or whatever but it’s still a very visceral loss of control #that can be kind of embarrassing

[mxgyver]

starting to feel more and more like myself again 🫶💙

#recovery has been really fucking tough mentally #physically? pfffft piece of cake #but literally so close to tears right now because i’m starting to spiral about my lack of experience in everything again 🤪 #which is totally fun 🤪 #i’m having a good hair day & i’m wearing mascara #so i’m trying not to cry because i look cute #ANYWHO #enough of that #i hope you’re all having a good friday 🫶💙 love you!!! #this is my face

[milo-is-rambling]

I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it

#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with #no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to #ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and #then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there #like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day) #(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this #inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m #normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans #are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of #getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and #I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage #where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not #like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my #friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the #only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so #long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy #forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s #what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is #destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)

[jamietarttsdaddyissues]

Jamie Tartt getting a tattoo that says “Believe”

#would it be where people can see it like on his arm #or somewhere more hidden so it can be just for him #imagine if the whole team gets the same tattoo #I could imagine this happening especially if Ted goes back to the US #which would make me devastated but I’m not gonna think about it right now #cuz I know there’s So Much that goes into that conversation #but imagine them all getting it and maybe even Ted and the coaches do too!!! #Ted would be so fucking touched #he’d cry #he loves his boys so much #also I’m totally not projecting as someone who gets tattoos for like every important thing in my life #don’t worry about it

[sluttyten]

So I’ve been given the potential opportunity in a few weeks to either 1) go visit one of my close work friends who moved 2.5 hours away like 6mos ago, but if I do that it means working with her and our other work friend at her store, which means working 12 days straight, 2 of which would be at a store that is absolute insanity, OR 2) I could not do that and instead possibly get last minute Taylor Swift tickets with my best friend and head 2.5 hours in the opposite direction

#I’m stuck on this decision #especially since right now neither is set in stone or definitive in any way #bc we won’t go visit the work friend of our manager can’t let my work friend I currently work with off for that weekend #but also we can’t buy Taylor swift tickets until like the day of the concert #but since my best friend implanted the idea in my head yesterday now I’m like #damn I wanna do that I love going to concerts and I really don’t like the idea of working 12 days straight for a total of something like a #92 or 94 hour paycheck with 12 or 14 of that being overtime #which would be a nice paycheck I’m sure but fuck like I would want to drop dead #I’ve never had to work that many days straight through #I think the longest I’ve done is like maybe 7 or 8 days in a row #but also that’s only ever been at my store where even our busiest days are less busy than the store we’ll be visiting’s average days #BUT I do want to see my friend and help her out because they need help that weekend specifically bc they already know they’re going to be #insanely busy and that makes me want to cry a little like I feel like our store gets busy when I do 50 cars through our drive thru in a #little less than 2 hours but they’re store as far as I last heard does like 500 or 600 cars a day which like fuck #if we go up there and they put me on drive thru like she made it sound like they’re gonna do then I better JUST be working like order taker #OR the window but not both because I will keel over

[just-rogi]

I just had the single most uncomfortable phone call of my LIFE !!! Someone run my phone over with a TRACTOR and then SHOOT it with an GUN!!

#basically I was talking to a coworker asking for advice on how to handle another coworker of ours who had said some vaguely racist shit #fairly regularly #like she’s older so her heart is in the right place but it’s…. uncomfortable yk ? #and this coworker set up a meeting with admin to talk about how I feel victimized and am afraid to speak up (I’m not) #but I had my meeting and basically said ‘I want it on paper that I talked to y’all and asked for advice but I’d rather try to approach this #on my own and solve it person to person without attacking her or having her reprimanded’ #and admin was like cool so we are actually totally gonna let you do that and also have a meeting where we do the opposite of that tehe #so I got a call from my coworker today that was like ‘UHHHH DID YOU GO TO ADMIN AND TELL THEM YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY CLASSROOM BECAUSE #YOU THINK IM RACIST??’ #like bro #I eat one meal a day and I get this shit during my dinner time #fuuuuuuuccccckkkk #like I was completely blindsided with this and thank god I can talk normally while crying bc I was fuckjng sobbing from anxiety #like yeah you did say some racist shit but working with you is better than working with any of the other people who don’t have their shit #together #as shitty as it sounds I’ve kinda come accept a certian level of micro aggression (and macroagressiom bc tbh Glenda girl you go too far) #like I’m always uncomfortable and always unhappy and I’m always gonna be like that but NOW I’m uncomfortable because I’m getting #a phone call during MY dinner bc admin did exactly what I did not want them to do #like I wish there was a way that I could be like ‘yo I’m formally reporting that some shady shit is happening- I wanna handle it peacefully’ #‘but if it can’t be resolved I want to cover my ass and not get my words twisted #I like working with Glenda most of the time… just not when she’s talking about white privelage or lack there of… #no Gelnda the teacher shortage isn’t caused by bps only hiring poc teachers and not giving jobs to white people #I promise reverse racism isn’t the root of why we can’t get coverage for music health or financial literacy or seventh grade ELA or math #idk idk I’m not doing it Justice #like I was uncomfortable in the classroom before but now I’m gonna be MORE uncomfortable bc all this shit blew up in my face #all this taught me is to never speak up about microaggressions and never go to administration with concerns of how to solve issues- #you know: the exact WRONG takeaway because everything is so fucking messy #fuck me I can’t wait to apply for work outside of the US #also not to have a cynic victim mentally but none of this shot would’ve happened if I was white… :/ #but yeah.. whatever … middle eastern people don’t experience racism ig

[boqvistsbabe]

#I’m not crying rhat he’s out #definitely fine #:( #adam boqvist #columbus blue jackets #totally crying right now

[arthur-r]

hi so this started as a life update and then turned into a major vent and i am very sorry so i am putting it under a cut. content warning for medical stuff and surgery and also college and also generally being upset

oh hey arthur update the medical issues i’ve been vaguing about for the past like week are officially not life threatening or anything and will be getting resolved in a surgery this tuesday. so recovering from that will be a super fun way to spend the last three weeks leading into my senior year, which i really badly overbooked with babysitting nearly every day and working my pizza job extra hours, both of which jobs are the kind where just calling in sick for one day causes actual problems for real people in ways that other jobs maybe wouldn’t. so i’m taking off both my jobs on the actual day of the surgery but otherwise i’m just. powering through it all

#starting on monday i’m taking on a whole other family to babysit on top of everything else!! wasn’t planning on a surgery in the midst #on the bright side maybe the money i make from the extra work will maybe possibly kinda sorta make a dent in the fees for all the #surgery and appointment costs even my fifteen minute visit at the cvs pharmacy cost a hundred freaking dollars #so umm let’s hope that the working i’ve been doing this summer amounts to a little more than just. not being in debt #also the family i babysit for hasn’t texted me back after i told them i had to schedule the surgery during a time i was supposed to be #babysitting. and i think they will understand but i feel terrible because they’re supposed to be able to count on me #and i also don’t want them to know i have a surgery because then they will ask me questions and i want my relationship with this family #to start and end with how i do puzzles with their kids. i don’t want to talk to them about scary personal stuff #plus what if they try to send me a care package or something they think i’m a cis girl named ari they wouldn’t know they have to be discreet #and i don’t want people irl to know about the surgery before it happens because then they’ll ask to see it and i don’t want them to see it #because at work i’ve been wearing a mask and nobody knows i’ve had a potentially cancerous growth for a freaking month #and anyway it’s not cancer or anything it’s just my stupid macrophages but i don’t want people to see it or talk to me about it until it’s #gone. in other news my older sister starts college on monday at the local community college that i will probably go to despite my efforts #so. no anxiety here tonight why in the world would i be terrified about anything right now what are you talking about how could there ever #(/s) #i sincerely hope everyone here is doing okay. i am sorry for kind of venting but i have been holding this stuff in a little bit too long #two people total outside from me and my family know what’s going on and i’m not looking to have any more irls find out #but i am bursting at the seams and a little bit terrified. not to mention the stupid college everything piling up on me right now it’s just #a little bit much. anyway the medical world is ridiculous and stupid and if i have to be on hold with one more surgeons office i will cry #and i’m just kind of here. i’ll put a thing at the top so that nobody has to read this. and trigger warnings and everything #and i really hope everyone is okay i am sorry for being a little too much right now #vent tw #medical tw #ask to tag #anyway i’m going to bed really soon i just. really really needed to yell about how much everything is. even if it’s going to get fixed #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[kissmefriendly]

I know I’m spiralling when I start drinking energy drinks. I don’t even like them. But here we are, a mental wreck who just needs one (1) friend to help out or somethin, maybe a hug, at 11am drinking Monster

#I can’t even have energy drinks. #I’m on anti epileptics this isn’t smart #coffee? tea? I think I’ve developed a caffeine tolerance #I need my ante upped #just to make it through the day #idk I think I’d probably die if someone hugged me #or break down crying #I really want a friend who isn’t in another country #I miss my friends #two are in America (and I’m totally different time zones) the other in Scotland #guys I am soft #unfortunately #the last hug I got was from a tired man who I assume is also quite lonely #but I need something more than a bro hug #I want someone to hold my hand and tell me they’re there and it’s okay #I’m in a bad spot right now but I’ll get better #and I won’t have to do it alone #basically what I crave is physical touch #and emotional connection #I miss my friends man #and I won’t be seeing any of them anytime in the foreseeable future #I proposed to one of my friends in America but she’s busy and has her own stuff on #even if it had been a courtroom wedding I wouldn’t want to put her through that stress #selfishly I wish she’d said yes #but I love her as friends do so I understand and want only the best for her

[tezerenotameiki]

#venting in tags bc i cant figure out how to read more on mobile #god i feel so stupid for crying over this cause this always happens 75% of my appointments cant canceled or noshowed last minute #but i just feel so overwhelmed! with my own medical appointments and then dad has stage 2/3 cancer and might be ok but might not #and im scared but mom thinks he’s lying (which he probably could be!) and then he’s gone right back to manipulative shit! #stomping all over whatever boundaries/ground rules i tried to set when we fought ~2 months ago and he told me to go fuck myself and #blew up my phone and told me he was never speaking to me again! #and how tf do i enforce boundaries when he’s talking about chemo and shit??????? #and now i know i need to start over with a brand new therapist bc my current one is totally unreliable #but it’s like the past two years of opening up is all down the drain #and i dont even know what to do anymore. bro i’m so tired and my head hurts so much lol #sorry for dumping this. i am floundering rn

[xekstrin]

One of the most memorable interactions was Saturday. Into our booth strolls a small family, tempted by free samples of freshly brewed tea. We chatter and give them the spiel, that the tea is character merch and we’re a cozy health-based app called Forage Friends.

The young girl zeroes in on our pride pins.

“They have my pin!” She says excitedly. “They have my flag!”

The dad blinks. He is surprised, but also calm and positive when he sees it’s the lesbian flag. “Oh. That’s… different from what you told me.”

“That was months ago, dad.” And she rolls her eyes. Definitely a teenager.

I turn to him and say, “Yeah, dad.” And we share a little laugh about it.

He says, “No, it’s great. That’s amazing, honey. It was just news to me.”

“Well, I guess I just decided to stop lying to myself. About liking guys. Like right now.”

A little lesbian just came out to her dad and he was super cool about it.

I’m standing there in my tie-dye mask and my cheery blue apron pouring tea and making small talk and I’m trying really hard not to cry or compare it to my experience, the fire & brimstone, the disgust, the conditional acceptance as long as I never bring it up.

So as this beautiful bonding is going on, the girl’s even younger brother turns his gaze around. He’s in a snorlax hoodie and bored and wants to go look at the swords across the hall. But on the other side of our booth….

“WHY DO PEOPLE DRAW THAT?” He asks loudly, and we all turn to our neighboring booth.

Our neighbors were extremely lovely people. Every time we had a break we would talk, and we became good friends over the weekend. They kept apologizing that their booth was next to ours and we kept repeating that it was totally fine. Their booth was great. I even bought their merchandise.

The thing that was so contentious, that they felt the need to apologize for, was that they were selling explicit titty hentai stickers of popular characters. They were censored with little yellow R18 labels but the content was very clear.

So back to the family: I freeze and immediately go somewhere else to let dad handle this question. With adult customers I’ve been loud and positive about our neighbors. (“Man, how has it been boothing next to them?” It’s been great! They bring a lot of foot traffic and they’re kind and wonderful professional neighbors. If anything it’s a fun juxtaposition. We believe in artistic freedom. I bought a sticker too!)

But this is a kid, it’s not my place to explain anything…. But I was extremely curious about what this chill dad would say.

“Well,” dad says with a long measured silence between each word. “Sometimes people are horny.”

#IT WAS SO FUNNY #the kid was like GROSS #and dad was like its art :) #maybe one day you will feel that way too son #and he was like NO NEVER GROSS #and the dad was like you know what thats true :) not everyone feels that way #but maybe some day you will and you’ll see it’s totally fine and normal #A+ dad #dad of all time #dad champion #forage friends

[jaejoongs-nipple-piercing]

Supervisor who is supposed to take me home- leaves not even half-way through the shift

Supervisor who I was told would take me home instead- no idea where he is

I hate this so much. My learning permit expires in April and I have limited days off unless I take my PTO in May. But I wanted to take it in March this year. I made kind of a deal with a coworker in a different department but forgot to ask for his number so we could get things figured out and make sure he has a license and insurance so I’ve been waiting to do that and he’s been busy or not available. If my brother was able to drive I could just have him come get me.

I’ve been done with the shift for half and hour. If it takes any longer I WILL WALK HOME.

#absolutely ridiculous #and then it took the supervisor who has been driving me to and from work a grand total of 6 HOURS to respond to my text yesterday #I sent it at 2:40pm #he called me between 7-8:00pm #it does not take that long #it’s a simple ‘yes or no’ question #yes you can drive me to work in the morning #or no you can’t #not that hard #and then the main supervisor made me cry again and I got flashbacks of my previous job + those people AND my mom’s nasty fugly ex husband #there was nowhere to put the excess and everyone could clearly see that #yet he almost runs over to me yelling #‘don’t do that don’t do that!’ #‘you can’t throw the product away onto the floor!’ #1. it wasn’t the floor it was a bin #2. I had nowhere else and I explained it to him but he just got mad again #THEN he asks me if I’m ok #yeah I’m fine #I was just yelled at again while I’m not exactly emotionally stable right now #yes of course I’m fine #I lied and told him I had something in my eye and it was burning #he goes ‘go fix it’ #like I’m sorry I didn’t have anywhere to put the fruit #I’m sorry I keep crying over things #I’ve had a rough life #especially the last few years #and the way this guy phrases things is so bad that literally every time he talks to me just like I’m gonna lose my job #i mean who has been told ‘I need to talk to you about your performance’ and still had a job to come back to? #his phrasing is just terrible #he didn’t even apologize for yelling

[fruit-jpg]

:/

#*tries to have an actual convo about how I feel* #“oh so im an asshole is what ur saying””’ #I can’t take it I’m going to implode I need to implode right now I need to be taken off the mortal coil #I just want assurance that I’m even wanted #I just want to know that I’m good enough #that my quirks and my flaws are loved that I am loved in total #how does that become a fight #how does that become me crying #I don’t understand #how am I still doing it all wrong #why can’t I do it right

[kaleighkarma]

Oh no she’s listening to the front bottoms again 🥰

#it’s totally not because of tiktok #it’s totally not because they’re doing a tour where they play talon of the hawk in full #it’s totally not because I’m going to cry seeing them #when back flip comes on I will be doing metal back flips in the crowd #i have too much pent up energy right now #ahajhagdhshshshshdggdgdgfgfhgrh

[sochilll]

.

#my car is gonna cost $2400 to fix #that’s literally almost as much as I PAID FOR THE CAR #but since it isn’t totaled I can’t just get a new one #and like I don’t really want a new one cause I love my car #but if I’m basically paying the cost of the entire thing I’d kind of rather just put that toward a new one #especially bc I’m probably gonna have to get a new one soon anyway so it feels like a waste to blow all this money now #and now my insurance is saying the guy who hit me might not even have valid insurance so who knows if I’ll get anything #I’m just so upset and frustrated #and this happened in the middle of like the most stressful and busy period this semester #i want to cry all the time and I can’t even take time off work or school right now #vent