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#like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day)
milo-is-rambling · 10 months
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I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it
#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with#no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to#ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and#then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there#like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day)#(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this#inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m#normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans#are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of#getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and#I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage#where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not#like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my#friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the#only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so#long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy#forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s#what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is#destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)
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rockybloo · 1 month
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Ur honestly brave asf for that recent post because people can get really nasty about that type of discourse, and you spoke nothing but facts. i wish you nothing but peace and hopefully people can learn how easy it is to simply block and move on instead of making a big stink about content they don’t vibe with.
For context for the people who might not know
Thank you!
And, like I said, the older I get and the more I witness the internet and the world itself change, the more I just...feel no desire to get into drama around fictional content.
HELL--I don't even get into fandoms anymore. I just like what I like and keep to myself because I get easily annoyed with surface level fandom drama like people disagreeing with ships for the smallest of reasons when the two pairs of characters people are fighting with AIN'T EVER EVEN CANON IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL!
THE WAY I SEE IT--The internet is a series of tubes (at the bottom of the ocean that occasionally is nibbled on by sharks and other marine life) and is contained in boxes on people's desks.
Working a job where I interact with actual people on a daily and not pfps with usernames has put into perspective how dumb a lot of internet discourse really is and I always feel some typa envy for the regular person who is just vibin' unaware of the digital fuckery.
The longer I've been around, the less free time I have as well. So these small little gaps when I don't gotta work or sleep, I try to take advantage of and treat myself, often with my own OCs.
I think the proper word to use for how I feel about the internet is "jaded". I now understand the power of touching grass. The world is a big and wonderful place where the average human will not care I made a 30 tweet long thread about someone. Or that I tweet at all!
And what sucks is that saying the simple phrase "I do not care about online discourse about fictional media" will cause a buncha people to immediately go "WELL WHAT IF SOMEONE IS DRAWING INCEST OR UNDERAGE OR NONCON DOES THAT MEAN YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT" because the internet LOVES some extremes.
And, as I've stated before, I don't fuck with fuck shit. And those things I just stated are fuck shit. Just because I am not constantly making posts upon posts about people creating that content DOESN'T MEAN I support or condone it. I block people who create that stuff. The law and higher forces will handle 'em where it's fit. I don't need the stress in my life of dogging on someone constantly to try and get them to stop doing weird fictional stuff because I know, FOR A FACT, they will not stop and I am wastin' my time. I have seen it so many times where people that get outted as weirdos do not change. Some actually celebrate their "cancellations"
I've seen so many people who spend their time online trying to be a "hero" and cancel the weirdos of fiction only for it to come out that they themselves are some other type of weird and, because their squeaky clean image they've tried so hard to maintain is ruined, they bail out. Or they will get overwhelmed with the stress or all the drama and stop posting. Or some other "bad end".
When you constantly try to portray yourself as having higher moral standing, you keep making that pedestal you accidentally are placing yourself on higher and higher so it eventually becomes unstable and topples over from even the smallest mistake you made because the internet ain't loyal. Supporters can become "I KNEW THEY WERE A WEIRDO" in less than 3 hours.
The only good I see in making a post about someone being a weirdo is that it alerts other people who might not know so they can unfollow. And even then, I have made it a task for myself where I read all of a post I can so I can craft my own opinions on someone since things have gotten to a point where if you don't gotta be making genuinely fucked up content to be seen as bad.
Humans are messy creatures and the internet is a messy place. And I wasn't placed on this planet to try to clean up either of those things. All I gotta do is stay black and die...and draw my OCs, of course.
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knowlesian · 2 years
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moths and muppets: aka, consider the humble metaphor.
i’ve been thinking a lot about the true power of a good metaphor, thanks to that damned silk moth, and it made me start chewing on my very favorite metaphor of all: the grand unifying call to muppet theory.
i truly love the stuff we’ve all come up with as a fandom in this vein, especially the meta about how everybody comes from their own canon. i’m going to talk more about why that’s so perfect after i knock out the practical and thus easier to line up and argue half of this and get down to my favorite part: full tilt feels.
hell, i’ve had my own fun joking about izzy being confused sepsis and linear time don’t exist anymore and i will continue to have said fun, as fun is a fucking vital element of fandom engagement too, but here's the thing: those are metaphors and jokes, not practical realities. izzy himself seems unaware of any difference in either one of those things.
to break it down by stating the obvious: metaphors aren’t the literal thing happening. they can’t be, by their very definition. they function on Vibes alone and pull themes into the mix too when they’re feeling flirty, or it sort of breaks into less-coherent pieces the more you find the ways in which it does not function literally and perfectly.
the sunrise is a painter, spreading fire across the sky: poke that metaphor with a stick, watch it crumble as logic fails to apply.
by that token there are no prior or different canons, in terms of the characters genuinely changing genres or switching worlds. they only actually exist in this canon, because... well, this is the only canon this version of these characters literally have ever existed in. we can have fun theorizing about backstories and the relationships in existence until the day izzy and co stumbled over the revenge and crashed through our metaphor wall until the cows come home, and i myself will be there with bells on. but for practical terms, the show remains the only show that exists outside the realm of metaphor.  
they show us this general coherence, even in the text itself: fang and ed and ivan and izzy aren’t actually transformed by suddenly entering a muppet movie. and more to the point for now, in terms of practical skills and general expectations of the laws of physics, as far as we know they can all do what they could do before we started following their lives. no less, no more.
ivan still has advice about and dibs on gold teeth while stripping corpses, fang steers the ship and kicks ass and has great cheekbones. it’s just now, the context in which they are being received (and isn’t received a great way to say consumed? come on in, received says. we’ll have cake) is entirely different.
the duel is a case study in how this works: we know ed has a side full of old wounds from being stabbed in exactly the way stede survived being stabbed. they made sure to show us that surviving this is not at all unprecedented in ed’s pre-stede world, and that ed just shook off his latest light case of stabbing earlier in the episode. 
so textually, izzy is baffled he lost a sword fight by unconventional means (as well as stunned by the subtextual introduction to the idea of topping from the bottom/bottoming from the top? their metaphor dick measuring/fucking will never stop amazing me) and that it was stede he lost to, not worse at dueling or actually bothered or even confused by a sudden lack of blood poisoning. and he’s not shocked ed rowed into the middle of the ocean at the narratively perfect time in the finale; he never once questions or seems disturbed by the outsized ways our rules of reality don’t matter here.
he bitches hilariously to jackie that stede sucks and likes ed’s hair too much and that he really could have beaten him if it wasn’t for those meddling kids, mark his words, but he never says: the rules of my basic reality were quite literally different yesterday. i am concerned i have tripped and fallen and now time doesn’t work. 
instead, over and over again he says through his words and the way he responds to being taken off-guard: people keep acting in ways i don’t anticipate and i reeeeeally don't like it. additionally, i refuse even once to just to roll with it and see where that goes. his constant i don’t know what the fuck is GOING ON AROUND HERE ANYMORE response to the events of canon is primarily an emotional one.
(there’s a story beat here where izzy is essentially experiencing metaphor culture shock and he can’t or won’t metaphor codeswitch his way out of it that i find very fun and cool; we could all be izzy, in the real world, simply by being shoved into a cultural context we are unfamiliar with and immediately made deeply uncomfortable by.) 
for example: he’s very bothered by dicks (and open expressing of emotion other than ‘fuck this and also maybe i will kill you’ flavored emotions) and what people are now doing with them, right in front of his salad.
in a tangent about the realities of sailing that i swear will matter here if you stick with me through it, because it relates to my argument: even his choice to make lucius scrape barnacles at sea, the best example of izzy wanting a specific ship chore performed (other than his demand to stede about munitions so they can fight the spanish) is more about humiliation than real world sailing requirements. in the real world, unless you plan to have somebody throw on diving gear to do it, ships are usually docked before this task is undertaken. 
so izzy’s going about having lucius do this chore in a way that was not going to accomplish much. that is: if what he actually wanted was significantly fewer barnacles, for practical ship reasons. if what he wanted was to prove his power and authority and fuck with lucius in ways he can technically justify in-world, then what he did makes perfect sense.
and to be very clear: in the real world, izzy asking lucius to scrape barnacles while at sea (and without some sort of vague protection for his hands, especially given the effect of the waves on steadiness!) at all would require careening the ship, and doing so in a way that would have put all their lives in active danger. there’s even a period-typical (ish) name for the technique needed when attempting to do this at sea: the parliamentary heel. it was famously dangerous, and only to be done in red alert emergency situations where a dry dock or a beach couldn’t be reached in time. 
and here’s the thing— i don’t think the show is taking that realistic approach, or that we are meant to take away izzy could have gotten them all killed, not even a little bit. 
and i’m certainly not arguing he’s incompetent, either. ed wouldn’t have brought him on in the first place if izzy was actively bad at the 101s of How To Be a Cranky Lil Boat Guy, and i doubt even ed’s fondness or his position as first mate would have saved him for years from a quick shove over the side if he was actively detrimental to the pirating process in any way but being the middle manager we all fucking hate and refuse to do our absolute best for unless we have to, because our shit is on the line. 
it’s just that apparently, in ofmd’s world of candied melon silk moths where lucius is more peeved than genuinely worried for his hands, either a bunch of barnacles exist above the ship’s waterline for... Reasons, or the waterline randomly changes without a significant change in weight by jettisoning cargo. (and it would have to change a greatly unrealistic lot for this to happen, a difference not remotely explained by four people being off the ship.)
so don’t ask how any of this works real rules of ship gravity-wise or it stops working, ofmd says. izzy is very annoyed lucius won’t quit doing masculinity wrong, and he’s being petty about it and targeting him for a non-essential job he won’t be particularly good at that could be done later in a more sensible setting. that’s the beat the story is most interested in, so it just does not care if barnacles and their removal don’t work like that in our real world.
ofmd plays fast and loose with the rules of everything from time to scurvy to distance between places and what rowboats and the arms attached to the human rowing said boat are capable of. there is a need to accept that the rules of our own reality are just guidelines on this show, or a viewer will end up deeply frustrated when none of it quite lines up as it should. ofmd’s metric is ‘what’s coolest and/or best for the story’, and they’re really not concerned if anybody doesn’t want to fuck with that need to suspend disbelief; they demand you go with them or perish. literally none of this works in a canon concerned with applying the rules of reality stringently.
i point all this out because there’s an urge floating around to fill in a lot izzy never displays to us, insist he is the only one working and/or keeping the ship afloat, we just don’t see any of it now because they changed canons: but in that case, it comes back to why aren’t fang and ed and ivan stripped of skills or traits in the same way? and if it’s just izzy, why the uneven staggering? he’s still a skilled fighter and a good pirate. 
we just know despite those facts, fang and ivan didn’t like or respect him much pre-canon, given the stories about the time he was left in charge and the utter lack of fear that he’ll be pissed off at them. ed’s still scary to them, and fang still snaps to at even the idea he’s back aboard; as far as i can tell, unless we argue that izzy’s skills and relationships are different now but he simultaneously still knows his shit when it comes to battle and swordplay (pun intended) we should conclude skills are still at the same baseline for everybody. otherwise the show made some weird and specific choices to suddenly make izzy unevenly and unfairly disadvantaged in ways that aren’t about his emotional hangups, and arguing that carries a good handful of equally weird and troubling implications.
which brings me to the emotional kicker on the logic end, because if izzy’s right to act like such an asshole, and we just can’t see the necessity anymore by the virtue of canon change— or in some ways if he was ever right and doing so was 100% ever actually necessary— then by that same logic, ed was right to demand fang kill his dog. they were in a different canon! a canon where dogs needed to be killed! even if we could just LET OTHER PEOPLE GIVE THEM A NICE HOME, E D. we can’t change our rules on this kind of thing by character, if we’re calling it logic and not metaphor, and we all seem to agree there isn’t any world where that was called for.
ed gets fang a new dog endgame or i BURN DOWN THE HBO OFFICES. FUCKING... RENEW IT!!! anyway.
everybody’s emotional literacy and ability to be open is absolutely changing, and the reception they are given by stede and the crew of the revenge clearly isn’t what they’re used to, but in terms of ‘can they do the literal practical stuff they used to do and are the laws of gravity in-world the same’, they’ve all still got it.
to poke holes in my own favorite framework more, chauncey and nigel (and even mary!) are from stede’s canon, and should thus be muppets, right? the metaphor breaks down again there, as metaphors themselves are wont to do when you stretch them too far. none of them quite work within the literal muppet read. then there’s the king: is he from ed’s canon or stede’s? both? everyone’s???? what would that even look like or mean? he seems pretty muppet-y in vibes while remaining anti-muppet in allegiance/narrative positioning, but that’s a stretch once more and only works for him. and how about spanish jackie and geraldo? they’re from izzy and ed’s world and olu and jim’s. so: muppet or not? once you try to make a metaphor a literal plot detail and make it fit everything, it falls apart faster and faster.
(not to mention: geraldo is from jim’s world twice over, given what we find out from spanish jackie. he was there the day their family died, but he’s also part of the current action in a way that bears almost no resemblance to jim’s Ported In energy.)
which is the perfect lead-in to getting away from strict textual analysis and into why i love a metaphor in general, but these sort of metaphors in specific: the quiet part loud is that none of these characters are muppets.
because this isn’t a muppet movie, in anything but structure/metaphor/vibes: these are humans. (or seagulls, i suppose, but i will tip my cap in respect to karl and olivia both and then set them aside, for the purposes of this argument.)
this means they’re all played by actual human actors, but more than that, the characters themselves are gloriously human. even when they act cartoonishly, and the rules of our reality don’t apply to them— maybe especially then.
the writers have twin wells of seemingly endless empathy and accountability sitting side by side in a meadow of knowing their shit on the weird little quirks of being a human. these are not literal muppets, they are fictional humans.
complicated, wonderful humans. capable of kindness; capable of shocking new depths of dumbfuckery.
they make bad choices, they fail to communicate, and then they whip around and exhibit good sense and use their words to express the shit other people can’t know unless told. they do this because that’s what we all do, as we cart around our own pasts and pain and bring our thoroughly un-blank slate into each interaction we have on earth.
in my real life, i’m sort of obsessed with the idea that no two people can ever read the same exact book even when it is the same exact book, and with asking people the question “when you say ( fill in the word/phrase ), what does it mean to you?” when i start to feel like maybe the issue is not primarily in the meat of any given disagreement i’m having, but instead in the packaging.
from experience: people do not like being asked that question. they hear me say that, and what they process is ‘this motherfucker didn’t listen! and i was VERY clear’ and then i ask it again because they understandably don’t feel like clarifying word choice in the heat of the moment, as they 100% know what they meant, causing even more frustration.
(i have been told more than once i am very annoying to attempt an argument with, because i keep asking that question anyway. sorry about that, people in my life!)
the problem here is when i say that, i exemplify the thing i’m talking about: i come in with the baseline assumption that we all use the same words a little differently, and that’s not always a truth universally acknowledged no matter how real and obvious it seems to me. that’s before you get to the arena of legit mishearing someone, or somebody having a slip of the tongue or not knowing what something means and just using the wrong word. i’m talking about the fact that when i say anything, i bring all my own context and knowledge and previous conversations to bear, and same goes for the people i speak to.
i say beautiful, you might see a flower or that fiery sunset from the intro or, i don’t know, taika’s eyes/arms/belly: i might see something out of left field, like the inner mechanisms of a washing machine. so already, with the same basic understanding of what beauty generally means, we are starting from very different places and are going to have to work to bridge that gap between us.
i said all that to say: this is why i love the idea that every character is from their own genre, because what a fuckin’ metaphor that is all on its own. 
we are all from our own canons, metaphorically, while from the same one literally. we star in our own movies, where we are the main character, and in the story we are telling ourselves other people know that, and react to us and our choices accordingly. 
that’s not a value judgement, because we can’t baseline exist any other way: you weren’t born in my body, i didn’t live your pain or experience your joy. we are who we are, and we can’t go back and change any of it or gain the ability to read minds. if i want to see you as a whole person or you do the same for me, we are both going to have to pause our own movie for a second and attempt to watch the other’s without applying the rules that worked for us to a different canon, where things work differently and somebody else is the main character.
we exist in the same world: we exist in very, very different worlds. we’re the same; we couldn’t be more different. these are correct, all at the same time, and in the exact same way they’re all not quite right.
the beauty of a metaphor is that it can access an emotional truth, not a literal one. they’re for identifying something so deeply held it’s hard to entirely express in plain terms, and making it as beautiful as the gears turning inside every machine, keeping them running in ways unseen from the outside and unknown to the casual observer until they tear open the casing and see what makes this old thing tick. and at their very, very best, they’re not about construction or elegance; they’re about finding a core truth.
because of that metaphors suck with linear time and gravity and coherent real world logic— and that’s fine! they’re not actually about any of that. drill down past form to function and metaphors are about finding the best way to ask: you seeing this shit, too? that way you know you’re on the road to finding your people when somebody else pipes up ohhhh baby, AM I. 
that’s communication; that’s solidarity. that’s fucking love.
moths and muppets, clouds that look like dicks and dicks that look like honesty, silk hearts and a hearth at the heart of a liminal space ship, oranges and earrings— it’s no wonder ofmd is so goddamned fond of metaphors. everything a metaphor does best, ofmd is really fucking good at too.
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forestryfae · 6 months
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I saw your concept art about a Generator Rex mermaid au! Tell me all about it, it sounds awesome!
i forgot to answer this ask ages ago and now i remember nothing except like. being a mermaid is contagious. dont ask how idk it just is. its like werewolves or the flu. you either have it permanently (born as a mermaid and cant turn human) you were infected somehow (you can now turn mermaid because magic ig but only for a short while, you dont have every mermaid trait and generally can only breathe water and might get webbed feet and scales and stuff like some horrible seamonster but it goes away), you can turn into a perma seamonster of some sort (thorugh chronic infection, like youve been infected with mermaid gunk so much your body cant fully get rid of it all and you just sort of turn permanently into a mermaid/seamonster) and then theres the variation that happens if one parent is a mermaid and the other is infected (you cant turn into a mermaid if only one parent was a mermaid while the other was a regular noninfected human tho) uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i think part of the plot was?? mermaids are your typical human on top/fish on bottom mermaids, there was a mermaid version that had legs with webbed feet and gills instead and was temporary but still mutated you and could become permanent, and then theres humans. mermaids are generally born in the sea and kinda hard to find and not very well known about despite being one of the most common fish in the sea, so to speak, so not much is known about them. humans live on land and do human stuff but also do research on mermaids cus otherwise there wouldnt be a plot or providence. uhhhh. some mermaids are mean. rex inherited the mermaid gene from his violeta and raphael, one of which was a perma-mermaid and one who was shortterm mermaided (dont ask who was what i dont care and its irrelevant. do what you want go wild), so he can shift between mermaid and human forme. cesar cant and is a full time employee of the mermaid species. theyre both a warmer sea not so far into the depths of the ocean fish so they cant tolerate too much pressure but they can get a good couple km down there. theyre primarily omnivorous. rex is orange and white w blue spots. cesar is primarily red and brown, i say as if i didnt draw him with GREEN scales. come on. sometimes they change colors but generally thats a seasonal thing. six is a human and has a scuba diving certificate. wk is wearing one of those old school scuba diving suits with the round helmet w the glass on it. or hes afraid of the sea idfk. hes the boss guy or something. maybe he has an allergy to seafood holiday is still smart and also does fish science. she also has a scuba certificate
noah is a human but rex keeps infecting him w fish lung disease so they can fuck around and find out in the ocean breach is of course an octopus. nothing else would make sense. her tentacles are purble as of now circe is. probably also half mermaid half human the same way rex is?
van kleiss is a deep sea cold climate shark mermaid, which means he can dive like all the way to the marina trench and probably get halfway to the borrom or so before he dies. idk i dont know science. its 2 am. hes mainly brown and has some yellow golden stripes. he could also be an orca if realistic mermaids based on real animals is a thing people prefer cus frankly orcas are fucking mean. the only thing meaner than orcas are dophins but i dont think he realy ahs dolphin vibes. also orcas are black and white soooo. his diet is carnivorous and eats seaweed and algae sometimes. hes missing an arm from having an anchor fall on him. totally not his fault skalamander is a kind of crocodile or some shit idfk. biowulf is also there?? at absolutely every point during the making of this au i forgot they even existed
basically violeta and rafael were scientists and stuff and they did science w humans and other mermaids and they were doing some stuff and then vk killed them and it resulted in rex losing his memory and vk getting an anchor dropped on himself which cut his entire arm off (not his fault he did nothing wrong) due to the ship exploding after vk did some tech shit and blew it up. later providence started to exist idk. they got big ass aquariums and they use it to study mermaids??
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audhdwitch · 8 months
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all of the fucking housing spells i've been casting
(a lot of these happened around the same time but i don't remember exactly which order any of this happened. remember: always write down your process when it's fresh in your mind. except for when you're going to be homeless in 3 weeks and don't have the spoons and are just trying to fucking make it)
using "equal opportunity" symbol as nexus point in most spells
lighting candles, burning lavender oil in common spaces and dedicating household chores to hestia
set up semi-permanent altar space in the cavern under my loft bed. dedicated an offering bowl to hestia, offered some trinkets including a key necklace that i started wearing out to showings.
get discriminated against a LOT at showings lmao. absolutely no one wants to house a group of visibly disabled and/or queer polycule of kids that look like they're college freshmen at the oldest.
asked each housemate to donate something to the offering bowl; burned lavender oil and did a tarot spread about our prospects. verdict: final stretch. almost there.
start trying to remember to dedicate a small offering tray of food to hestia whenever i have the spoons to make food for myself. got to have dinner/tea with hestia a couple of times. she makes me feel unmasked. i don't feel any pressure to make myself Look Presentable before her; she is most pleased with me when i am unmasked and feeling safe and comfortable in my own space.
start trying to build hestia playlist. having trouble finding the right vibe; am somewhat drawn to classical music that reminds me of summer camp.
set up temporary altar on dining room table when housemates cook and we get to have dinner together. burn candles and leave offering to invite hestia's presence
created name sigils for housemates with consent. can't decide on a sigil for myself; using my signature seems to work just fine.
started carving name sigils into side taper candles with nexus sigil on bottom. have done this multiple times; have had burned some candles "dry" and others dressed with either peppermint* (luck, prosperity, abundance) OR lavender oil (home, hestia)
started researching crystal grids + sacred geometry. math is hard.
A has a job lined up but it won't start for a while and they're trying to get a better one in the meantime. give up on applying to "equal opportunity" but still absolutely predatory property management company that will gladly take the fee for your application for properties that you won't qualify for, and that you shouldn't bother applying to anyway, and will keep taking your money as long as you're stupid enough to keep trying
established spell parameters. i was definitely the least specific about the time frame; i mostly had the non-specific "before the end of september" floating around in my head even though our lease ends on the 17th. i did consciously decide to not specify further, hoping that by relinquishing a stricter timeline we could perhaps exchange for snagging something within our budget.
took a walk down to the beach and drew sigils (A drew one that I didn't see, and i drew the nexus sigil + name sigils) in secluded areas of sand where the rising tide would wash it away under the light of the recent super blue moon. the ocean is bio-luminescent this time of year in our area; we stood and watched the electric waves crashing onto the shore as the tide crept up.
started gathering materials for crystal grid and research more correspondences. research is not really helping me much tbh; eventually i gave up looking up how-to's and started more going based off vibes. i know literally everyone says so but it really IS better to do things in a way that make sense for your brain. if it doesn't resonate with you, disregard it.
created name sigils for pets. sketched rough approximation of configuration and started experimenting with crystal positioning. got housemates to identify which areas they could use the most assistance in (finances, stress, focus, etc). including the pets really balances the whole thing out tbh.
A applied for a better paying job that it really wants. assigned crystals for financial stability/prosperity at their request.
spent literally hours painstakingly building the final version of crystal grid configuration in image editing software. could i have probably found something that would have fit the bill? probably. i didn't do that tho. i built the whole damn thing myself lol.
family spotify plan got cancelled. rip, can't afford premium myself until we have a fucking house.
brainstorming for spell jar to use as a "battery" in the center of the crystal grid. initially conceived it as a sweetening jar to make landlords
broke up with bf. having a weird time of it. it was the right decision but i feel so bad about it. also, now that i'm no longer worrying about my relationship, i have more time to worry about being homeless.
collected dandelion puff and started drying some leaves in my space
we visit some university resources about housing and ebt.
had A rubber duck for me/got A's opinion on crystal positioning/grid balancing. am somewhat concerned about the grid overdoing it bc this is definitely the most complicated spell i've done to date; some worry based on the fact that i've been using crystals for financial prosperity/stability for M in grid brainstorming and after we got back from uni resource center M got a call from the county saying their ebt was deducted for working more hours in the summer. honestly kind of a huge blow to them; they've been recovering from top surgery and haven't been able to work for almost a month, so this is going to cut our grocery budget quite a bit.
and also... A got the job!!! great news - we can start including its offer letter with hours/ in our packet.
i do some tarot readings abt my life trajectory. oof. i have disorganized attachment style and hella ptsd. additionally, it looks like it's time for a career change; i apply for a part-time position i got an email notification for the other day.
initially was considering burning tea lights on top of the spell jar to burn off excess energy and avoid it collapsing in on itself. if feels ready to implement.
spell jar giving me trouble. yes, sweetening landlords' perceptions of us would probably help. we have been applying to places and writing personal statements and building The Packet to hopefully appeal to them, but places get snatched up in seconds here so we mostly just need to get lucky and be in the right place at the right time. also, ants are a problem and i'm a little weary of using honey (i don't have a whole lot of ingredients at my disposal)
i do, however, have a lot of bee pollen. that might work. pollen is more associated with hard work than honey (which i associate more with reward) and we just need shit to finally pay off.
at a client's house and had a slow day on the craigslist rental listings grind and was trying to burn off extra nervousness by checking the complexes we'd signed up for email notifications for. lo and behold - a single unit available, fits all our criteria and they only require we make 2x rent (almost unheard of in our area). got in touch with my housemates to start trying to apply NOW bc the way their website works, it's literally first come first serve - the second an application is submitted, the listing is marked unavailable again until the applicant completes the approval process (at which point the listing will go back up on their website).
we managed to be on the apartment complex website in the 20 minutes between the listing going live and the time email notifications went out about its availability. A submitted their app first and we called first thing the next morning to confirm that they received it - they have. we're in the system.
okay. we all submitted on friday - too late to be approved same-day, but we'll hear back from them on monday. it's the waiting game now.
try to go home to finalize the crystal grid in a more formal ritual like i'd been planning. doesn't work out; i can do it at my client's house, though. it's not ideal and i think the grid would possibly be more effective if it were housed in the place we all currently live, but that's fine. i feel safe enough in the client's house (they are so kind to me, it's like sleeping over and grandma and grandpa's)
finally established crystal grid with emphases on luck, endurance, financial stability, and a minor glamour to make us more appealing to property managers. used "hard work paying off" spell jar as battery. i suspect the crystals on top of the spell jar don't hurt us but they do feel somewhat superfluous in the context of the grid. may donate them to hestia's bowl instead; the garnet was hers already. was initially going to burn candles dressed w peppermint oil but decided on lavender oil instead.
starting to feel like "liked songs" on shuffle is perfectly acceptable to dedicate to hestia; after all, she's most comfortable when i'm most comfortable.
i actually think i'm going to burn more carved and dressed candles to charge it; i feel the hematite balances out the grid enough that i'm not risking overloading. could also be feeling more balanced bc it's not at home feeding off all four of our energies, just mine? plus it feels good to do something while we wait.
please. please. please.
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myopicmeerkat · 2 years
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285 Followers Celebration
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Speechless. I've been left speechless. I have no idea what I should say or do, now.
No! Wait! I suppose I do have an idea - two ideas, to be precise.
Well, the 1st idea is to shout a very big "THANK YOU!!" to all of you. No, like, seriously - thank you so much besties for everything you've done for me and my blog. I consider myself to be very very lucky to have wonderful persons such as yourselves as my friends. And I love all of you sooo much - I swear if we ever meet IRL, I'll be sure to give you a tight hug, or, in case you are not fond of hugs, I'll give you a treat at my favourite restaurants. Okay, besties? 😊
And, the 2nd idea is to hold a CELEBRATION!! 🥳🥳 (Kinda obvious, isn't it?) Anyways, I hope all of you will enjoy this Pirates' Vocabulary-themed celebrations of mine!! 😁😁
Ahoy (meaning: Hello): Give me three words and I will make either a moodboard or a playlist based on them. (the choice is yours)
Avast Ye (meaning: Pay attention): Send me a headcanon/joke/meme (the latter two can be general or concerning a particular fandom) and I will rate it out of 10.
Aye, Aye (meaning: Yes, I understand): Give me a word/phrase/sentence and I will give you a picture it reminded me of.
Briny Deep (meaning: The ocean): Give me a book/movie/song rec and I will give you one belonging to the same genre as the former.
Davy Jones' Locker (meaning: Graveyard at the bottom of the sea for those killed or drowned): Classic Tumblr Games (excluding KMK and FMK).
Dead Men Tell No Tales (meaning: Standard pirate excuse for leaving no survivors): Talk to me about anything - the book you are reading, the movie you are watching, your life in general or your deepest, darkest secrets - literally anything - on or off anon - and I'll lend you an ear.
Give No Quarter (meaning: Refuse to spare the lives of opponents): I'll tell you which fictional character you remind me of. (mutuals only)
Jolly Roger (meaning: The iconic black pirate flag featuring a white skull and crossbones): I will give you an outfit based on the vibes your blog gives off. (mutuals only)
Savvy (meaning: Do you understand?): Tell me 'your 1st impression of me' vs 'your current impression of me' and I will tell you mine. [Be brutally honest. I won't mind. 😊] (mutuals only)
Walk the Plank (meaning: Punishment for captives who were forced to jump off the ship with hands tied behind their backs): Ask me anything you wish to ask and I will be able to answer only in "Yes" or "No" or "Maybe, IDK". (mutuals only)
Tagging my super-amazing besties below the cut: 😄
@silver-de-vonne, @emikadreams, @mrs-tomato-head, @very-chaotic-cleo, @the-nightingales-world, @nymphadorathebubba, @helloliriels, @koushiki-das, @justtryingtosurviveinthepresent, @your-favourite-skittles, @cosmicdreams1111, @nakaharaswife, @fierreth-who, @fxbvlously-weird, @kill-the-liiights, @tfischaitea, @sethclearwatermybeloved, @celestialsmessy1, @magnus-babe, @itsveebiatch, @i-do-random-things-do-not-ask, @gayteensupreme, @magik-knives, @cool-way-to-die, @thelastfunctioningbraincell, @immortal-iddiot, @ad15124, @wholesome-dragon-lady, @anonymouse-the-asian, @ialmostdonothingnew, @yonkitybonkity, @moony-likes-hot-choc, @the-happy-fujoshi, @nirmaanazakti, @andrewisdoingbetter, @breadbutitsactuallyarock and all my other amazing mutuals and followers whose URLs I cannot remember ATM. (I am so sorry for the same. 😔)
Once again, THANK YOU SO MUCH BESTIES!!!! 💛💛💛💛
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sazc94 · 3 years
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The Three Times James "Bucky" Barnes Broke your heart
This was inspired by @msmarvelwrites 2k Writing Challenge because I'm a sucker for Taylor Swift especially sad Taylor Vibes. I chose the all too well lyrics.
Apparently, I can't do anything small so it's in two parts.
Part 2 Here
Pairs Bucky x Reader and Pietro x Reader. (Not at the same time)
No smut but mentions of sex so 18+
Themes: highschool, cheating, college/uni. Friendship
Words 5659 its Suburban AU.
Winter 2018
You sat on the window seat, head resting on the cool glass a mug of hot chocolate between your hands. Winter in New York was something else, the way everything sparkled in the blanket of snow. This wasn’t your first December in the “Big Apple” but it was your first after moving here. Like the walking cliché you were you had moved here for a Fresh Start, after being offered a once in a lifetime opportunity of working for Tony Stark. You hadn’t planned on taking the job working as head of advertising for Stark Industries. The idea of moving from your small town in Michigan away from your family, everyone you knew and loved, and most importantly away from your best friend and your on-again-off-again boyfriend Bucky seemed ludicrous. You knew James or Bucky as he was to those who knew and loved him would never leave Michigan not if it meant leaving her.
James and you had been friends since, well as since long as you could remember. You had lived on the same street, gone to the same schools, played in the streets on your bikes when you were 8, played in the local park between the ages of 10 and 12. When you both hit 13 everyone assumed you would both either stop being friends or would fall romantically in love. Neither of those happened at least not right away. You two carried on hanging around each-others houses, playing video games and watching movies. Bucky had always been fiercely protective over you, his blue eyes narrowing at anyone who dared to pick on you when you were younger. His eyes would light up when you walked into the room, he loved Friday nights saved just for the pair of you to watch cheesy horror films, lounge around his sofa and stuff your faces with popcorn.
2008
Everything changed when you were 15, you and Bucky had always been inseparable, when no one asked you to combined Prom in your Freshman year, Bucky had surprised you. Showing up at your house dressed in a suit and tie with a white rose corsage, his long brown hair slicked back. You walked downstairs in your ballet slipper pink chiffon dress, your locks twisted into an intricate bun, this was the first time you’d worn heels and you nearly missed the bottom step when you saw Bucky in his Grey Suit stood in your living room. Bucky had tried out for the football team and obviously to no ones’ surprise had become the Star QB. As a result of that Bucky’s grey suit stretched across his muscular frame. Once you’d saved yourself from falling face-first down the last stair you walked over to Bucky grinning like a fool. “Bucky, what, what are you doing here? I thought you were going with Sam and Pietro and the rest of the football team” you said. “Well, I couldn’t leave my best girl flying solo at our first prom now, could I?” Bucky grinned down to you. “Besides the rest of the guys were meeting dates at the dance, so I told them I’d meet them there with you” you felt yourself blush at Bucky’s term of endearment. You and Bucky posed for photos for your Mum and Dad, your Dad trusted Bucky like his own son so there was no awkward father stare down there, you even had your curfew extended to 2 am.
The prom itself was magical, Bucky introduced you to his teammates and their dates. Sam was there with a cheerleader, Jane Foster she was friends with the cool alternative girl Wanda Maximoff who was Pietro’s twin sister they were Sophomores but made you feel welcome at their table. Complimenting your hair and shoes. Pulling you onto the dancefloor to dance with them and the rest of the cheerleaders and co to the pumped-up pop songs that blasted out. The way the gym had been transformed was nothing short of breath-taking, led fairy lights strung up in waves from the ceiling, silver stars hanging against the velvet blue backdrops made you believe you were spending the night under the stars. When the music changed to a slow song -Tim McGraw by an up-and-coming artist Taylor Swift. The Group of girls surrounding you soon dissipated to slow dance with their respective others. You started to make your way back to the table you’d been sat at, happy to finally take a breather when you felt someone tug on your wrist. You turned around fully prepared to slap whatever creep had felt it suitable to touch someone they didn’t know but your face softened to find the familiar blue-eyed, muscular brunette smirking at you. “Miss Y/N” may I have this dance?”, he asked. “Why certainly, MR James Buchanan Barnes” you replied chuckling to yourself. Bucky cocked an eyebrow at the use of his full name before pulling you tight towards him. He wrapped your arms around his neck before wrapping his around your waist. Your breath caught in the back of your throat, you and Bucky had never been this intimate, sure still hugged and had kissed each other on the cheek when you were like 5, but this felt different. The way Bucky enveloped you, the scent of his aftershave mixed with his mum’s washing powder he smelt like cherry blossom mixed with sandalwood. You rested your head on Bucky’s chest, closing your eyes deciding to take this all in. A small smile tugged on your lips as you felt Bucky stroke your hips. You didn’t know it, but he looked at you with such love and adoration and his heart squeezed watching you rest your head on his chest the smile on your pale pink lips. Bucky moved his right hand from your waist and brought it to your cheek, slightly stroking it before lifting your face to look him in the eyes. His eyes shone with affection; his eyes so blue like the ocean you felt like you were drowning in them. Then his lips were on yours crashing against your slightly chapped lips, you cursed yourself for not wearing Chapstick like the cheerleaders and Wanda did. However, as the kiss deepened, and you felt Bucky’s left-hand grip on you together and you melted into the kiss everything else faded away. Bucky drew back and looked at you. Your smile dazzling him as your eyes shone back at him. Neither of you said a word as he pulled you back to his chest whilst the DJ played another slow song.
2009 - 2010
Bucky and you dated from the end of your Freshman year right up until the summer before your senior year. Bucky and you had been inseparable for most of your High School life, he even convinced you to try out for the cheerleading squad in your Junior year, usually you sat on the Side-lines with Wanda and Carol Danvers, it wasn’t that you didn’t want to be a cheerleader it's just you were comfortable being “Bucky’s Girl” the one everyone knew without being in the spotlight, however after Wanda and Carol egged you on saying that you had the moves you went for it. You surprisingly made the squad. You couldn’t wait to tell Bucky, warmth spreading through your cheeks at the thought of how he’d be so proud. You decided to keep it quiet until you had your uniform. Jane and the girls had also promised to keep their mouths shut until you’d had the chance to surprise him. So, when homecoming rolled around, and you got your uniform for the first time you went along to the locker rooms where the football team would be heading off to change before the big pep rally. You stood against the wall one foot pressed against it, your knee bent whilst you waited. You heard Sam and Pietro before you saw them. They turned the corner roughhousing one another playfully. “Looking good Y/N” Sam shouted as he clocked you in your brand-new uniform. “looks like Bucky’s personal cheerleader now cheers for us all,” he said walking over to you and enveloping you in a hug. You giggled and at that moment Bucky Turned the corner with Peter Parker a freshman. He couldn’t see your uniform from the way that Sam’s body was covering yours, but he saw your face and started running down the hallway to you. As Sam and Pietro headed inside, he finally got to see the big reveal, he stopped in his tracks for a second. His eyes taking in every inch of your body, the skirt shorter than anything you owned, the top hugging your curves. He ran over to you picking you up and spinning you in the air as you squealed. “I knew you could do it Doll,” he said as he peppered kisses over your head, cheek, and lips. You blushed at his praise. Your Junior year with Bucky was a blur, between the football games, classes, parties’ dates with Bucky you felt like time was rushing past. You Even won Prom King and Queen at your Junior Prom. To no one’s surprise. However, that summer everything changed.
Summer 2010
You were on holiday with your family, visiting your grandparents in Miami. Every year you for as long as you could remember you and your family would spend the last 3 weeks of summer break at your grandparents. You had begged Bucky to come with you as he had in the past, however, due to football camp, he had been unable to swing it. “Hey, I’m sorry doll, it’s just coach said if I didn’t go he wouldn’t consider me for team captain,” he said hugging you from behind as you sat on your porch steps, his chin resting on your head. He had sworn to you that you would text every day and would skype at least once a week for the three weeks you were there. However, after the first week, Bucky’s texts had become less and less frequent. He’d only Skyped you once and you’d get texts from Various friends asking where you were as you weren’t at the latest party. On the final night of your holiday, as you walked along the beach by yourself taking in the last of the holiday feel your phone rang, you looked down it, confused when the caller Id said, Jane. “Hey, babe. Look I’m not sure how to say this” but uh we’re at a small party at Wanda and Pietro’s there’s about 15 of us, including this friend of mine Nat and uhm well, Bucky’s pretty wasted and well after I noticed I hadn’t seen him for a while I went looking for him”. Jane’s voice sounded stressed. You squeezed your eyes shut as tears tried to escape, not liking where this was going. “And uh, oh god I’m really sorry girl, but I, I kind of walked in on them fucking” Jane blurted it out, going for the band-aid approach as if saying it quicker would make it the cut sting any less. You didn’t say anything, you just stood there staring out the black ocean, the warm sand between your toes, feeling your heartbreak. You couldn’t believe it. Your sweet protective Bucky who had beaten up Miles Morales in 8th Grade for standing you up for an arcade date and breaking your heart. “I, I, I got to go my flights early tomorrow. My, my family will be wondering where I am” you stumbled over your words trying to get off the phone as quick as possible not wanting anyone to hear you cry.
Senior year was one of the most painful years, Bucky had met you at your house the day you got back, sitting on the wooden steps to your porch. He looked like he had barely slept, much like you. You were an only child, but your older cousin who was transferring to Michigan State University for his second year had come home with you. He took a look at Bucky and then back at you, you nodded telling him it was fine and that you had this. He walked inside but not before muttering punk under his breath. Bucky winced, he looked at you his blue eyes that once shone with nothing but love and adoration for you, now looked blank, empty, and almost unrecognisable. His brown hair which he had cut in his Sophomore year looked a mess. He started towards you, but you held your arm out.
“Don’t,” you said. He looked crestfallen and his heart shattered as you struggled to hold yourself together. “Doll, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, please, look at me, ill make it up to you, it will never happen again” he pleaded with you, his ocean blue eyes stared at your red brimmed eyes, cheeks puffy and streaked from all the crying over the last 16 hours. “Just don’t” You warned him. “Look, baby, it was a mistake, it meant nothing to me” he continued to plead despite your warning reaching out for your hand. His words hit you like a knife, you two hadn’t slept together yet and here he was claiming this meant nothing. You wrenched your hand free from him his touch burning you with his betrayal. “It meant nothing. It meant nothing!?! If it meant nothing you wouldn’t have slept with this Natasha James” you whispered. Bucky flinched at the use of his real name. Oh, how you wanted to shout, thrash scream at him and tell him you would forgive him, but you couldn’t. You had looked up the girls Instagram that night when you laid in bed crying and you couldn’t help but compare yourself to her the gorgeous read head with curves in all the right places. You started to walk towards your house. Unable to keep the tears back and not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry, Bucky called out for you, pleading with you. “I thought you loved me James, but it clearly meant something to you, or else you wouldn’t have thrown away two years of dating and 12 years of dating for sex with someone that wasn’t me, we were meant to be each other’s firsts, but you decided you couldn’t wait to get your dick wet so you went and fucked this chick you’ve known for what 5 minutes?” you cried out in anger, Bucky flinched again as if you’d slapped him. “Actually, I met her last year at one of our away game parties” he mumbled, his feet kicking the dirt around his feet. “I think you should leave” you whispered, choking back a sob before you ran into your house slamming the door behind you.
You and Bucky barely spoke that entire final year of school, you had been voted cheer Captain at the end of the summer semester, much to Jane’s approval, and you loved being a cheerleader, so you threw yourself into that as well as the school’s production of Little Shop of Horrors. You cheered at the games putting on your show face and hyping up the crowds. You wowed in the role of Audrey in the show, avoided parties with the football team and buckled down focusing on your exams and audition for the performing arts programme at the University of Michigan. After Bucky had realised, he was never going to get you to forgive him he had ended up dating Natasha. The news hit you like a sucker punch to begin with but after meeting up with Wanda, Carol, and Jane during the spring break you made your peace with it. You even smiled at Bucky in the hallways when you saw each other. By the time Graduation rolled around you had healed.
November 2011
You ended up getting into the University of Michigan on a partial scholarship thanks to your cheerleading and you were enjoying the performing arts programme, the performing arts programme at the Uni had really blown up after the whole viral “A Very Potter Musical” back in 2009 and you were thrilled to be there. You had settled right in making friends with a young lad from your course Loki Laufeyson right away. He was attractive in an unconventional way, with long black hair, a tall skinny frame but he still had muscles. You two had been cast opposite each other in Romeo and Juliet during your first year and had become good friends. You even ran into Pietro frequently he had gotten a football scholarship and couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you on the sidelines one November game. Pietro didn’t really “do” social media and hadn’t paid any attention to Wanda as you had told her, after Bucky’s betrayal you hadn’t spoken much with Sam or Pietro, after all, they were his friends and were now Uni students. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Bucky’s girl,” he said grinning at you after the game, ruffling your hair like you were 5 again. You couldn’t help but wince at the old pet name, everyone in the group had called you it, Sam, Wanda, Carol even Jane but you hadn’t been Bucky’s girl for a year, well longer if you take into consideration the fact he’d been chatting with Natasha on and off for the entire year before they slept together. “It’s just Y/N” or you can call me cutie you said winking at Pietro, he chuckled. “How about I just call you tomorrow?” he retorted, you felt yourself blush. Pietro had always been a cocky confident guy, his silver-blonde hair covering his ice blue eyes, he had always been a hit with the ladies, but he seemed that bit more attractive, slightly leaner, still confident but not arrogant. You shrugged before pulling out a sharpie from your bag, you wrote down your number on his arm. He cocked his head puzzled. “I changed it last year after Bucky wouldn’t stop blowing it up with apology texts,” you said simply. Before Pietro could respond you ran off to join the rest of your squad and headed for the changing room.
True to his charm and word, Pietro called you the next day offering to be your personal guide and show you all the hidden beauty spots of the campus. You accepted; even though you had been here for two months already. You walked around the campus and had a great time, you felt yourself really relaxing and laughing at his corny jokes and the way he wiggled his silver eyebrows at you whenever he made a bad joke. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed, and you meant really laughed, the kind of clutched over struggling to get air into your lung’s laughter that the Silver-haired, blue-eyed cutie gave you. By the time Pietro had finished his tour the sun was beginning to dip, he walked you back to your dorm ever the gentleman. However, this time when your hands brushed against each other he grabbed your hand and spun you around. His hand was cool and smooth, a stark difference to Bucky’s warm calloused hands. The pair of you walked back hand in hand in comfortable silence. When you got to your dorm you leant against your door, your eyes meeting Pietro’s ice blue eyes, the almost sparkled. Pietro positioned himself so that he had one hand above your head, the other to your side trapping you between the door and himself. He leant down and kissed you. It was soft and delicate, his cool lips sucking the air out of your lungs. He pulled away winking at you before he sauntered off to join his teammates at some frat party.
That was the beginning of a three-year relationship with Pietro, you two had been on multiple dates, some official, some were just bumping into each other at the same party and then spending the rest of the evening together all through November and early December of your first year. He even came to support you at your Cheerleading competitions. Neither of you had put a label on it, but he had changed his home screen to a picture of the pair of you, it was one captured by Peter Parker, funnily enough, he was visiting the Uni with his photography club and captured the moment Pietro had picked you up after the Wolverines won their 6th game. He spun you around before dropping you down and kissing your forehead. Pietro didn’t know that you had seen his home screen. However as you were both travelling home for the Holidays you had agreed to travel together, Pietro had offered to drive but you had refused. Telling him that it would be easier for you to drive as you would be running lines late and therefore you could swing by his apartment on the way out of town. It was only a short drive to Dearborn but with the extra holiday traffic, you estimated it would take at least an hour to get to your parents. You connected your iPod to the car via AUX and pulled up your playlist you had made for the drive. You avoided all Christmas songs, and you were sick of them they played everywhere you went. Instead, you opted for Taylor Swift, damn she had blown up since 2008.
After about 30 minutes of driving as you hit the peak of the holiday traffic, you leant over to turn down the volume of your music. Comfortable with the pace of the traffic, you turned your head to Pietro. “So,” you began. “What’s up Bunny?” Pietro asked snapping his eyes up from his phone. “Well, I just thought now might be a good time to talk, we’re obviously going to run into a lot of our old friends, and there’s no way Wanda won’t know something is going on here, and I, I saw your lock screen,” you said, you could feel yourself blush, there was something about Pietro, he made you feel like a high school sophomore all over again. “So you were wondering what we are?” the amusement in Pietro’s voice didn’t escape your notice, you could feel yourself getting embarrassed. Of course, he was a college Sophomore, you two had never had the exclusive talk, how could you be so silly. You stared straight ahead focusing on the slow-moving traffic. Oh god, you wanted to die. Pietro noticed the change in your demeanour and instantly felt bad, he grabbed your right hand from the steering wheel. “Hey Bunny, look at me,” he said softly, you turned your head to face him. “We are exclusive, we are a couple, I’m sorry you felt the need to ask, but I adore you, so we are a thing,” he said stroking circles on the back of your hand. You smiled and nodded to yourself.
Almost everyone had made it back for the Holidays, excluding a few people, Bucky, Carol, and Jane, they all had their reasons, but you couldn’t help but feel a little sad that Carol and Jane had been unable to make it back. Wanda was elated for you and Pietro, to your surprise she threatened Pietro and not you. Christmas break came and went all too quickly. Pietro even brought you a small gift even though he didn’t celebrate Christmas, what with being Jewish. He was also very touched at your gift a small, framed copy of the photo of his lock screen, only in black and white except for the ribbon in your hair, the number on his Jersey matching his number painted on your cheek. The next year also seemed to rush by, between keeping on top of your studies, your rehearsals for the play, football matches, nationals for your cheerleading competition. It felt like you had barely any time to breathe.
2012
The summer between your 1st year and 2nd year was a small respite, Pietro had decided to stay in his apartment for the summer, he had a summer job and you decided to stick around after trying out for a local theatres summer production of Grease, unsurprisingly you had been cast as Patty Simcox a cheerleader. “How ironic, my little cheerleader playing a cheerleader” Pietro joked. You just rolled your eyes at him, that night Pietro stayed in your dorm, you were going to have to move out for the summer, your roommate for the year had decided she was going to move into her Sorority House next year and was going home for the summer. You and Pietro were cuddled up on the sofa watching Grease, you had your legs over Pietro and the arm of the sofa. To your surprise, Pietro had confessed he’d never seen it and had asked you to watch it with him so he could see who you would be playing. You let out a sigh. “What’s up bunny?” he asked not taking his eyes of the movie, he was rubbing small circles on your legs. “Student housing emailed me today, they said since Sophie is moving out and going home for the summer. I can’t stay in my dorm this summer. I’m trying to figure out where to go as the apartment I want to rent isn’t available until August” you said, blowing your hair out of your face. “Move in with me for the summer,” Pietro said without skipping a beat. “We’re not going to be around much in the daytime, you’ve spent a lot of nights at mine recently and it’s just for the summer, theirs a spare bedroom where you can store your stuff, and Wanda will be visiting in 3 weeks, it’s no big deal,” he said as he continued rubbing circles on your legs. You stared at him for a moment, your mind racing. “Okay,” you said nervously biting your lip. “Okay, I’ll move in for the summer,” you said again this time sounding surer of yourself. You picked up the remote and pressed pause on the DVD. You and Pietro had been dating for most of the school year, and he had been nothing but a gentleman never pressuring you for more than you were comfortable with, he knew Bucky had hurt you and you still hadn’t had sex yet as a result of it. You stood up a peeled of your jumper, Pietro cocked his head with his cute, puzzled expression. You didn’t say anything, instead, you removed your athletic shorts leaving you in nothing but one of Pietro’s football jerseys and your panties. You walked to your bedroom. Pietro didn’t move. After a few moments of waiting for him to follow you walked to your door frame and coughed, Pietro looked at you. “Well, are you coming or not handsome?” you asked leaning against your frame, so his jersey rid up slightly exposing the skin of your stomach. Pietro chucked his phone on the sofa before throwing you over his shoulder. That night you and Pietro had sex for the first time.
December 2012
Summer came and went in a blur of a heatwave, and lots of sex. You moved into your apartment off-campus, you spent a lot of time hanging out with Loki between classes, throwing ideas back and forth for an original piece you had to work on for the spring showcase. Pietro and you would always ride to games together, with Pietro being in his third year, the team bus rides were no longer compulsory and as the college couldn’t afford for the squad to have a bus you had to make your own way to the away games anyway. You and Pietro had driven home for Winter break, your family had decided to head to Boston this year, that way your cousin could see his family, however as you and Pietro had a game two days after New Years it didn’t make sense for you to fly out for such a short period off time. This was your first Christmas in years where you wouldn’t be seeing your family, or even celebrating really. However, Wanda and her Mum had insisted Pietro bring you home with him for the winter break. So that was how you found yourself sat in Pietro and Wanda’s basement drinking beer and hanging out with the old gang along with some new faces. Carol had brought home her girlfriend Valkyrie, Jane and Sam were there, even Peter Parker who was now a senior was there he’d even brought his girlfriend Gwen with him. Wanda had brought home her Boyfriend James or Vision as he was affectionately known. Wanda was studying Fashion in NYC; Vision was studying IT and was a whiz with technology. You were cuddled up in the corner of the sofa with Pietro, he was playing some game with Sam and Peter and you were scrolling through your IG feed. Taylor Swift’s latest Album Red playing through the speakers. Pietro had groaned but with Sam being a secret Swifty he was quickly outvoted. You kissed Pietro’s cheek getting up to grab another bottle of beer each. You were technically underage for another few months, but Wanda’s mum had said if you were going to drink whilst you were here, she’d rather you did it under her roof in a safe controlled manner.
You heard him before you saw him. Being the gracious guest you are, you had noticed the beer was low in the fridge, so you were restocking it when you heard Bucky’s familiar laugh. You may have made peace with what Bucky had done but other than a quick congratulations and farewell at Graduation you hadn’t spoken since that summer back in 2010.
Bucky walked over to the fridge, you had changed your hair colour since you’d last seen him at Graduation in 2011, your usual hair was now a chocolate brown, you had your head in the fridge still when he coughed. “Hi I’m Bucky,” he said. You took a deep breath, grabbed three bottles of beer and pulled your head out of the fridge, turning around to face him. “I’m well aware who you are, Bucky,” you said handing him a beer. Bucky’s eyes widened as his ocean blue eyes reached yours. “Hey Buck,” you said softly. “Y/N. I didn’t recognise you” he grinned, moving to hug you. You let it happen, standing stiffly in his arms. “Yeah it's been a minute, how’s school, and Natasha, I heard you got into UDM?” you asked shooting him a smile before twisting the lid of your bottle. “Yeah, I did. Schools great kicking my ass a bit and Natasha and I broke up actually” he said avoiding eye contact with you. You and Bucky made polite conversation for a few minutes Pietro finished up his game with Sam and Peter, noticed you hadn’t returned so made his way over to you and Bucky. “Hey Bunny,” he said kissing the corner of your head before wrapping his arms around you. “Hey Buck, long time no see!” Pietro said. Bucky stood frozen for a few seconds processing what he had just witnessed. “Hey, Pietro Yeah. It's been a hot minute, so you two are a couple? You guys look cute congrats. Oh man, wow is that Peter over there? I barely recognise him I’m going to go say hey. Catch you guys later!” Bucky said practically running over to Peter. You turned around and kissed Pietro. “Come on Quicksilver, let’s see if I can beat you at Mario Kart,” you said pulling him over to the sofa.
December 2012 – August 2014
Winter break came and went. Your second year at Uni whizzed past. Pietro even joined you and your family for your annual summer vacation in Miami, your grandparents were getting on a bit so you decided to skip the summer production of Hairspray. By the time, your third year rolled around you and Pietro settled into a routine between school, studying, games and rehearsals you would steal kisses in the hallways, meet one another at classes with hot drinks, coffee for Pietro not that he needed a boost of energy and usually a hot chocolate for you. After football games, Pietro would drive you back to his apartment. If it were a rare free evening, you’d curl up with a movie at yours. Hanging onto the small moments of peace. You both knew Pietro was going to be moving to New York after he graduated. He’d been studying business and was going to start a fashion company with Wanda. You also both knew that long-distance wasn’t going to work, you’d been majoring in performing arts, but you had also been taking extra courses to help with a career in advertising as a backup. Saying your goodbyes to one another sucked ass. You and Pietro had left your annual Miami holiday a week early to spend a week in Florida visiting the Theme Parks, Wanda and Vision were also going to meet you there. Neither of you had grown up exceptionally wealthy, but Wanda and Pietro’s dad Max Eisenhardt had reached out to them a few years back and had insisted on paying for the four of you to have a group vacation. He had tried to convince Wanda and Pietro to book a holiday in Germany where he was living but they had refused. Pietro had already packed up his apartment and moved most of it back to his family home whilst you finished up school for the year. He had been staying with you for the summer before joining you on your vacation so when you headed to the airport it was time to say your goodbyes. “Be good Bunny, don’t cause too much mischief with Loki and stay in touch. I love you my little Bunny” he said wiping the tears from your eyes. You couldn’t say anything, so you just held him tight and cried.
Tagging the bestie @lannycleave because I have promised to write a sad Steve one as a way to punnish myself
Part 2
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mimiri22-6 · 4 years
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I JUST FOUND OUT BEE AND PUPPYCAT HAD A SECOND SEASON! GUESS WHAT I JUST FINISHED WATCHING!
Oh my fucking god holy shit, my guys! This show. This fucking show. Where do I even start! First off
SPOILERS!!!!!!
YOU DO NOT WANT TO WALK INTO THIS SEASON, THIS SHOW, WITH SPOILERS! DO NOT FUCKING LOOK, THIS IS 1000% SPOILER TERRITORY!!!
So I will be taking the extra step of taking my laptop out, and continuing this on there(and after I wake up because it's 4am and I regret absolutely NONE of this whatsoever because, guys, I love this show with everything I have left to my being, I swear, I will die for a third season)
Warning: This is a long one.
OKOKOKOK! I know I know! It’s been uh...A Month since I first posted this! BUT I am Here Now and Ready!!! I am less than 10 seconds into the first episode of season 2 and I am already So Ready to relive this!!(Dream SMP has Nothing on this show, God I Love This Show Far Too Much!!!!!!)
...First ten minutes...I have So Much I want to say...Just-just a lot of love...
okokokokokokokokokok!!!!!! I think I know how I’m going to do this now! One bullet for each episode! Let’s see if I stick with it.
Gentle Touch
In the first episode we already get a big game changer for Bee and her development. Bee becoming more responsible as a favor for Deckard. He asks her to take care of his family while he’s at cooking school and we already see her doing this. Going out to the ocean with Weasley, going out of her comfort zone for people she’s practically family to, which is why we got the beginning flashback, once again going out of her comfort zone to stop Puppycat from punching kittens, And Finally, coming out from her nap cupboard to face Howl and help pay for bills by eating ugly food.
Little Fingers
Ooh, this one has foreshadowing dream sequence. I would say more about it if it had more significance, but it’s really just what happens to Bee in the last ep. This episode brings more of Bee being responsible, trying to take her phone away from Puppycat so he stops making bad purchases. This episode made me realize what Puppycat’s role is this season, the child. Or something among those lines. He’s the same as he was last season, but it seems/is a bit more exaggerated because Bee isn’t doing the same things anymore. She’s started to care about consequences. And speaking about consequences, Toast announces she’s pregnant while confirming that she’s been staying...in Cass’s room(?)...weird, but ok, and by Tim pointing and Merlin’s reaction, it’s Merlin’s...but also everyone else seemed like they thought they were the culprit and I don’t want to think about the implications of that....MOVING ON-OH WAIT, And Cardamon’s mom is spouting magic tears that messes with the plants, so there’s that.
Snow and Violets
I’m going to be honest, I’m not 100% sure what to put here and I’m loosing steam. (I’ve been awake since 3 am...) But I think I can put something. The situation with Mr. Cup is the definition of being haunted by your past. The guilt and regret of cheating in the past has made him lose his motivation to give it his all in racing because, what’s the point? Motivation and not caring was his norm, so he just stuck with it. Until Bee, and now he can be a rainbow and sleep with less guilt and regret on his conscience. The thing with the island rapidly changing could be one of three things. Something to do with the ship that  Is the island, a metaphor for change, or something really cool the creators just wanted.
Day off Work
Not Too much to note for this ep overall. Puppycat totally did do the ‘wrecking the house in search for the owner’ thing dogs do. Finally, a dog trait! Every time I see Cardamon now I just get sad cause he’s 7, and should Not be doing landlord stuff. Bee showing worry about how Cardamon’s mom is still asleep and being worried about Cardamon himself, I’m just glad someone’s noticing. I keep forgetting that some people haven’t watched the pilot so they don’t know about Puppycat being a Space Outlaw, so when he found all his stuff under the apartment I was less surprised and more excited. The two last things I want to say is I think it’s interesting/cool/intriguing how the Wizard family just takes every weird thing either in stride, unquestioningly, or ignorance. Just trying to pretend it didn’t happen so they don’t have to deal with it(other than Crispin, but he’s coming up). And the last thing I just want to bring to light is CARDAMON BEING SO CUTE IN THE LAST SCENE! JUST BEING A CHILD! AND LAUGHING WITH HIS DOG! ON A FUNNY CHAIR! I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR AND I WILL PROTECT THAT SMILE WITH MY WHOLE BEING!!!
My Favorite
Note, Pretty Patrick is also The Mayor. Alright. It’s definitely been a few months and you can see the relationship between Howl and Bee has gotten better, not that it was too bad to begin with, just a bit less peeved on Howl’s end. The theme of Bee being responsible is brought into play again with the train station scene. Telling Puppycat to not hit and the way Puppycat was acting around Patrick. All little kid stuff. Which also kind of clashes with what I thought was Puppycat being older than Bee by a lot, I’m honestly slowly getting more and more confused exactly how I should perceive Puppycat. THE FIRST REAL LOOK AT THE HAND GUYS! I’m still not sure what their deals are, but they have a corpse on their hands and that is already the biggest red flag. I have a guess as to what/who they are in relation to Puppycat and, by acquaintance, Bee, but I could be wrong, but I also can’t think of any other people they may be. I’ll bring it back up either the next time we see them or at the end.
Did You Remember
Grampa Puppycat cares about his granddaughter a whole lot. Don’t @ me, their dynamic is more confusing than a moving maze...Now this episode, ooh boy, it feels like a lot, but in a minimal way? First off, Cardamon finally breaks down about the stress of being a 7 year old landlord and Bee takes care of him for the day. Big Sis Bee For The Win! DON’T @ ME I MAKE UP MY OWN FAMILY DYNAMICS!!! Kind of continuing from the first sentence, Puppycat and Bee love each other(I Stand By Platonically For Them) so much already, for them it’s been a little over a year considering Puppycat fell into Bee’s life before her last birthday and now they’re celebrating another one. And I must admit, I can not for the life of me figure out wtf the deal is with the tears. They have little shapes of recent events in them and they make plants weird/straight up just make life! Like, What Even Is That?! Also, Cardamon finally gets a good sleep.
Bird Friend
Ok, so we got more ship pieces, a most likely reason as to why Puppycat was Like That in the last few episodes of season 1 and has been goopy every now and again in this season. Apparently eating things he shouldn’t eat make him Extremely off model and goopy. More hands! But not the rest of them this time around. I wonder if Sticky’s hunt for all the birds has any significance other than showing us another piece. Puppycat breaking down and spilling a few secrets after stress eating off the floor and Bee immediately saying no to someone else telling her what’s wrong with Puppycat and letting him come to her first instead of forcing him is always such a good lesson to have. Also, Cass is into weirdly shaped shiny things.
Two Clown Noses
Ah, it’s this one. The one that Really throws a wrench into the Bee/Deckard ship. THEY’RE BOTH SO CUTE! I CAN’T CHOOSE!!! This entire episode is just Crispin and Bee hanging out with the added angst of the beginning ‘story’. This world is full of such amazingly crazy characters and Crispin’s backstory is one of those crazier ones. Bee and him Lived Together and Know Each Other, he knows she’s a robot! My only question is, what happened that they broke up? WAIT- DID THEY EVEN BREAK UP?! It would be weird if they weren’t because they were living together and then they decide to live separate again would make no sense. I think I just jumped to the weirdest conclusion...Anyway! How would Puppycat get sick? I feel like that was just another thing they added to create different dynamics. The beginning birthday thing and the conclusion felt so real even though the cause was something so out there that I feel like only animated shows like this could pass, but also I feel like someone out there has done something similar, so what do I know. Yeah, not much else about this episode, it was mostly just Bee/Crispin stuff and character stuff. Gosh they’re so cute...but so is Bee/Deckard. Being a multishipper is hard...
Funny Lying
RIGHT! THEY’RE CALLED THE WARLOCKS! THAT’S THE TITLE I WAS FORGETTING! Tim knows everyone’s secrets, comes with the perk of having a lot of time and not talking much, you observe everyone else while they think you’re doing something else. I know from experience. Eavesdropping is a specialty of mine. SHIT THIS IS THE ONE WHERE CASS GETS THE MESSAGE DISSING HER FOR FALLING FOR TOAST FROM A COWORKER! I caught those vibes during the first season, but then the first half of this season came along and I was forced to drop those vibes in favor of cannon because TOAST WAS PREGOS WITH ONE OF CASS’S BROTHER’S KIDS! I’m good at catching gay vibes in fictional worlds, but I’m shit in the real world, just like everything else. And the thing is, we don’t get Any kind of explanation/closure for the entire rest of the season! We see Toast totally shocked reaction, probably moments before she was going to sneak attack Cass, but froze upon seeing that text. AND WE GET NOTHING ABOUT THAT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON! Anyway, that was only like 2 minutes into the ep, this is taking forever. We got more Bee being responsible for Cardamon and getting rid of the tears, but the biggest part of this episode is undoubtedly Puppycat’s scenes. We got him sinking to the bottom of the ocean and getting cradled by flowers created by the tears next to the ship. We find out he was bullied and ridiculed in school as a kid and his best friend(idk what else they would be counted as), Violet, convinced him to leave their planet after they accidently summon their ship, leaving Puppycat’s mother behind. seeing how he cried about leaving her she seems to have been a great caretaker and he loved her immensely. We get the scene of Bee’s dad as a baby/Very young child on a mission, giving a presentation, and finding the candy to be a source of energy by cracking it open. Making me think, ‘Is that Bee’s fuel source? If it is, how would not taking full doses for two years effect her?’ because in the first season she splits the candy in half to share with Puppycat and in this season she didn’t eat the candy at all. Makes me even more worried for the future knowing what state she’s in when this season ends. With the last flower fever dream/memory it seems that the princess that he fell in love with was the one to make the final move to turning him into a ‘monster.’ Don’t worry tho, Bee saved him from the bottom of the ocean 
Golden Eyes
(I’m getting more and more tired as this goes one. I started doing this at around 12 this morning and now it’s nearing 6 pm. I’m loosing it!) We got another birthday and it’s Howl’s this time, though it’s not really his episode. The fish are attracted to the wish crystals for some reason and one eats a bit of it to be ‘human’ for a day. I love how the fish hated being a human and Weasley didn’t even notice it was a date. I don’t know if it was or not, but ending on that was funny. We got the return of the major douche from the season 1 finally and a mention of Moully. 
Why Don’t You Help Me?
(I took a break between episodes, aka I went tf to sleep, because I was falling asleep at the table and not really processing everything enough for what I’m trying to do) Ok, so this is a day in the life of Cardamon episode with supposed parelles to the Warlocks. We start with the red one stuck and the others unwilling to help...and then they start drawing Puppycat’s face on the 5th one’s corpse and these guys just do not care that it’s a dead body that they supposedly killed themselves. In short, they have all my fear because they are uncaring about body counts. Cardamon still goes to school on top of being a self proclaimed landlord and gets made fun of for being responsible and tattling at every chance he gets. Something I just noticed too is, at first I just assumed he was finally getting tired after being an adult in a child’s body for who knows how long, but now I’m thinking if he’s supposed to be asleep with Violet, his mom, then the reason for him being so tired is being awake too long. It could most likely be both, too. Just like Cardamon, I have no idea what all the tears mean. In the most recent one was see Moully as the charm in the center. What’s the pattern with these? Again we see Bee being responsible and taking care of Cardamon, making sure he gets home safe, tucking him in, and pulling an all night favor so he can sleep and get to school in the morning. Speaking of that, I can’t say I like Cardamon’s teachers all that much. I could rant about them, but this is already long and they’re not worth it. My only real question is, why the hell are their clothes so ragged and dirty? Do they not know how to bathe? Just, WTF? (either that or they’re Really not trying to hide their *ahem* activities from the kids, which just makes me want to punch sense into them or something)
Now I’m Really Alone
MOULLY!!!! Sorry, I just love him a lot. From what I can put together, he’s some kind of gift giving being. Giving wishes, exchanging good deeds and quick favors for other good deeds and favors. Just being Really nice and wanting to help everyone he comes across. This episode makes me see so much in common between Bee and Moully. They both want to help even when they don’t know how. Making messes and finding ways clean up those messes out of guilt and the feeling of obligation. They both have lost things they need to pick up and the knowledge that they have all the time in the world because they’ve both been alive for so long. It keeps getting hinted, but now kind of confirmed, that the Wizard’s know Bee is Weird because they haven’t seen her age. Hell, seeing how she interacts with Cardamon she could have even baby sat them. So all the Wizard’s know she’s Weird and, supposedly, only Crispin knew she was a robot. That was until Deckard found out in the season 1 finally. Once again bringing up the point of people in the Wizard family finding something out and ignoring it and hiding it. In the season 1 finally, Tim asked Cass if Deckard wasn’t depressed anymore, practically saying that Deckard has some form of depression. Depression being a mental illness that runs in families, it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that some other members of the family have similar problems. One of the things I remember depression doing is the person will see a problem and ignore it. Something that many people in this show do with the weirdness around them and the emotional states/situations of the other people in the show. This season is about finally seeing the thing you’ve been ignoring and doing something about it. And that’s what Bee’s been doing this season, taking charge and finally getting her junk out of the ocean and getting REALLY far out of her comfort zone. She HATES water and the ocean, but she’s diving in to take back what’s hers and cleaning up a mess. There’s A Lot to analyze with this episode, the similarities of Moully’s and Bee’s situations and personalities, Puppycat being the responsible one again for the long run of things, the tears and how the wish crystals work, and the state of multiple character’s minds. Ignorance is bliss until it isn’t.
I Won’t Leave You Alone
Ok, SO MANY NOTES! Which makes sense seeing how it’s the last episode. First off, THOSE WARLOCK BASTDARDS VIOLATED MOULLY AND IF THEY WERE REAL I WOULD THROTLE THEM TILL THEIR HEADS POPPED OFF!!! I am a very protective person when it comes to things I care about. And I’m going to say it here and now incase something comes up of it, Cooking Prince gives be Colorful Vibes, if you know what I mean. You don’t follow someone home and bother them when they don’t want to be bothered unless you’re Into into them. That’s all I’m saying and if nothing comes of it, I will drop it. I’m barely hanging onto it to begin with. So, last episode we watched one of three hands punching the other hands to let Moully go, and in this episode it’s confirmed that the day Moully was pulled through the void, the 5th warlock died. My theory with that is, the 5th one was against getting Puppycat in some way and retaliated by fighting them off of Moully and then the others retaliated by killing them in some way. And the tears in this episode didn’t give life to the corpse, but grew new life over top of it, the tears can’t bring the dead back. The ship gets put back together and we see Puppycat being pretty selfish again, bringing the ship online while Bee gets scooped trying to help Moully. He indirectly helped, but only after he got what he wanted. Cooking Prince, an outsider, brings up how everything going on on the island is Weird and Cass celebrates someone acknowledging it. Once again, bringing back the ‘ignorance is bliss until it’s not’ thing going on around here. Cardamon does more childish things this episode, making a wish and crying in his mother’s arms. He got to finally let go of his responsibilities and let it out until he passed out, and now he gets to sleep again. Moully and Bee are out of commission and the Wizard’s+Cooking Prince stay one the island/ship to be with Bee even though they are mostly confused about EVERYTHING going on rn. Bee has multiple Bees now while she’s out, and so, they go looking for Bee’s dad. I have a feeling he has at least some white hairs by now.
I remember watching this season for the first time. I remember I definitely cried at multiple points, but I can’t exactly remember what points now. I didn’t cry this time, I was too busy taking everything in and trying to put what little pieces I could find together. The first season was to get us used to this world and get comfortable for a chill ride, but then it smacks you in the face with something much bigger at the very end. This season was to make you pay more attention and to question your surroundings. It was also about the first steps to taking charge of your life. If Bee didn’t do all the responsible things she did this season, the warlocks would have probably gotten Puppycat while the island went to shambles. Actions have consequences and that’s what this was about. I believe next season is why ‘Lazy in Space’ was the title. The characters are going to be in space, looking for Bee’s dad, and will acknowledge all the weird things going on while developing, excuse the pun, in out of this world ways. 
I can’t wait for season 3.
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jbk405 · 2 years
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Well color me surprised and impressed, but Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings managed to pull it off.
Simu Liu and Awkwafina had fantastic chemistry, I honestly believed them as longtime friends.  This is often one of most glaring failures of films that try to have pre-existing friend characters as co-leads, because they never seem like friends.  Oftentimes they don’t even seem to like each other.  Here though I honestly believe that they met in high school and have been stuck together ever since, especially the two story-telling scenes.
I am honestly impressed with the manifestation of the ten rings themselves on-screen, because they come across like a unique power in the oversaturated MCU.  There’s only so many ways you can show somebody flying, or shooting energy blasts, or being super strong.  With the choreography and movements they give this film its own flair.
They even made Trevor Slattery make sense.  I know we all loved Ben Kingsley’s performance in Iron Man III, but that was in spite of the actual content.  Here we can enjoy it along with the content of the film.  Please, nobody ever explain to him how they made Planet of the Apes.
Oddly, I got a huge The Priory of the Orange Tree vibe during the climax.  The Dweller-In-Darkness (The Nameless One), a giant dragon-like being out to destroy the world, has been trapped behind the Dark Gate (The Abyss) for thousands of years.  It is now trying ton break free, and only with the help of the Great Protector (The Imperial Dragon) can the people destroy it by binding it with the ocean waters and kill it with the Ten Rings (the water-controlling Sea Pearls and the sword Ascalon).
Not saying either one is a knockoff, these are all very old pre-existing fantasy and fairytale tropes, but still.....I noticed.
I’ve got my usual quibbles and critiques of the plot.  Like with every immortal character who aspires to world domination, why did Xu Wenwu relinquish control each time he had conquered the world only to start again (You see this with every fictional character who claims that they were Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar and Napoleon, never adequately explaining why they felt the need to fake their own death and start at the bottom in the next empire)?  Who sent the postcard to Shang-Chi?  If it was his father -- the only explanation but never actually stated -- why?  Why is Katy the only archer left to shoot at the Dweller-In-Darkness when they see it about to consume the Great Protector?  Not just the only one to hit, but apparently the only one at all after Guang Bo is killed?
But these don’t detract from the overall quality of the film.  Like I said, they really pulled it off.
Almost makes me wish I saw it in theaters.
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Sunshine
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Ari Levinson x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Nudity, Violence, Sexual harassment
Summary: Your dear friend Ari had taken you for missions. You were in the army and he needed someone like you. But he didn’t know how confident and crazy you were when you hung around The Red Sea Diving Resort.
Authors Note: Ari Levinson is one of my favorite characters because it just gave me the 16 year old Chris Evans vibe with the hair. He needs to just leave it like that for a year. I love it so much.
Storyline is a bit off, not exactly how the movie plays, some parts were added to make the story
~~~~~~~~
“I need you,” He repeats, the sound of liquid began to pour inside a cup. “You don’t need me, you have-what? Sammy? Jake? Max? Who else did you say, Grace?”
“Rachel, that wasn’t even close-”
“Ah, whatever, I’m on my third glass here, give me a break,” Y/N sat down in front of him on the couch, holding the glass of liquor in her hand. She lifts the glass up to her lips, “You don’t need me.”
“I need you more than you know.”
Y/N drops the glass, her face scrunches to the burn down her throat, “How’s your wife? Uh... God... Was it... Mara?”
“Sarah,” Ari replied. Yes, Sarah hadn’t called him in a while. His daughter Maya was such a quiet one but he managed to tell her good stories, she really didn’t listen. “We’re having some difficulties-Can you just move on from the subject-”
Y/N lifts her hands up, “All right, Ari. All right.” Her dog comes up and sits beside her. Her hand gently rubs the canine’s forehead. “How long do we have for this mission?”
“As much time as we need. All we got to do is sneak the refugees out to the ocean sidelines.” Y/N downs the rest of her drink. “Sounds a bit risky, don’t you think? You know how those men with guns don’t really show mercy. I’ve seen it. Guns are no games until you mess with the wrong people.”
“We’re all gonna get them out of there, every single one.” Y/N sighs to his response and looks down at her dog. Gently smiling she pets him again, “Guess mama has to leave, bud.” Y/N turns back to Ari and nods. 
“All right, I’m in.”
~
A few missions successfully has been paid off. Tonight, there was gonna be another mission, Y/N heard about another briefing and met the group in the back of the kitchen.
“What’s the plan tonight, lady and gentlemen?” She asked, the men looked at her before trailing their eyes down. Y/N watched them stare at her bikini top and jean shorts, her skin tone glistened either in sweat or water. Ari was the first to remove his eyes to focus back to the group.
“Tonight we’re gonna do the same thing similar to the others. Y/N and Max are on the look out, Sam, Rachel, Jake and I both safely and quietly take the refugees into the trucks.” The group nods.
“After we have them situated, we drive over the hill, Y/N and Max get into their truck then we leave.” Y/N nods. “All right, sounds like a plan.” Y/N walks off. They all stop when they hear loud trucks moving in. “Is it them?” Rachel asked Ari, he shakes his head. 
“They shouldn’t.”
“I mean after last time, you crazy son of a bitch ram through their gate. You’re lucky it’s a bus,” Y/N says. Sam pushes by, “What?” Everyone goes out the entrance to see a large bus pull up and the doors open to people. “What the hell is this?” Jake asked, people walk up to Ari. “Are you the manager of this hotel?” The man asked.
Ari looks over to his group and nods, “Yeah,” Ari holds his hand out, “I’m Guy Thomas.” The man shakes his hand and smiles. If they’re willing to take over an abandoned hotel, they better make it one. The people looked around the area as Y/N walks up to Ari,placing her hands on her hips. “I guess we’re in business. We can’t do the mission tonight if we have people touring now.”
Ari sighs, “Then we need to make them comfortable.”
.
The Operation Brothers were helping the people into their rooms, some even relaxed outside the hotel. Y/N enjoyed every single of it. Y/N was part of the Michlen Star restaurant, becoming one of the hottest hostess to the visitors. Ari would get that some kind of star rating that Y/N was just beyond the most attractive hostess everyone’s seen.
Glad he didn’t see her with anyone.
Ari had the missions set on two different days each night. Rachel offered to do some yoga classes, sometimes Ari would watch them and see Y/N do some of the poses. Once in a while, she’d do push-ups in that room after their classes.
Being a soldier in the army, she clearly didn’t stop doing jumping jacks, sit ups and push ups. It impressed him really. The group would get together at night, laugh after a good day of satisfied customers. Missions were a success.
.
The next morning, Ari slipped on his cargo shorts and made himself a cup of coffee. Getting his feet into the sand, he watched the customers enjoy their time in the sun.
Including Y/N who laid herself on a towel, sun bathing.
“Ari!” The man turns his head to the boys under the awning. Walking over to them, he nods at them. Sam was leaning on the wall while Max and Jake were looking out t the beach. “Anything new?” Max asked, Ari looks out the archway to see the people jump into the water.
“Just some happy people.”
Sam smiles, “We’re all happy for getting a view like this.” All four of the boys look over to Y/N, back laid on the towel, her chest glistening under the sun. Shades covering her eyes. Wearing a two-piece bikini, the boys would all love to rip that off her.
Ari takes a sip of his coffee, drawing his eyes away. “Why did you even bring her? She’s just a distraction to us,” Jake says. They watched her turn her body, laying on her stomach, ass fully out.
They saw her lift up her shades towards them, causing all four of them to look away. She smiled, “You wanna keep staring or do you wanna put some sunscreen on me?” She called to them. Jake smiled, rubbing his hands together. He takes a step but stops when Y/N spoke.
“I meant Ari,” Y/N says. Jake retracts his foot and he looks at Ari in disbelief including his other friends. Jake throws his arms up in defeat, “Why do you got to do us like that, man?”
Ari sighs, taking another sip of his coffee. “I can’t wait all day, Levinson.” Ari hands his cup to Sam and walks over to her. She still laid down as she lifts the bottle up to him. Getting onto his knees, he takes it. “You know how to rub a girl down?” She asked.
Ari looks away from her body, staring out the ocean. “Not sure what you mean by that, Y/N.” He squeezes the bottle and gets the white paste into his hands. Rubbing his large hands together, he reaches down to her shoulders. 
She flinched under his hands as he gently rubbed her shoulder than her shoulder blades. “You’re not rubbing...”
“I am-”
“More pressure, you’re not cheating on Sarah if she has papers for you.” Ari sighs and adds more pressure fulling giving her a massage, he tenses at his wife’s name. “Much better...” She hums. “How do you know about that?” He asked.
Y/N turns her head to the side, “I know when I see it behind a man’s eye. She was a good woman.” His fingers tweak the string of her bikini bra and went to her back, reaching lower to where he met her butt. 
“You want to add some on my ass?” She asked, Ari looks down at her and she laughs. “I’m kidding...” Ari goes back to rubbing the white streaks, rubbing it all in till every sun lotion was rubbed in good. 
Every now and then, she’d moan under his touch.
He’d ignore it and just pulled away. “Okay.” Ari stands up and heads back to the boys who were all completely jealous. Once he met them, Max taps his shoulder. “Hm?” Ari hums, Sam points to the boys gazes and Ari turned his to see Y/N stand up, reaching behind to untie her bra strap. “What are you doing?” Jake calls.
“I’m gonna skinny dip,” She stands up, her back turns to them and they see her bikini bra drop at her feet. She looks over her shoulder, “Feel free to join me, boys.” Y/N then hooks her thumbs on her bottoms and rips them down.
They get a good look at her ass, all smiling at the view. “You sure she’s a soldier? And not some model,” Jake says.
Ari watched her body sink into the water before she turns to them, the water half way up and they finally saw her chest. “Eyes up here, boys!” She called. She dips fully into the water and swims above the surface.
Ari shook his head. “Y/N is one unique person, that’s why she’s on our team,” Ari says. They leave her in the ocean enjoying the waters as she relax. Ari needed to get his mind off of Y/N and just figure out the next mission. It’s just Y/N being herself.
~~
A lot more missions came after that, Ari’s team were almost caught by the men with guns. Letting the refugees go across ocean, the team fled the area and went back to the hotel.
“That was close,” Max says, Sam bursts in, “We almost put 50 people in danger,” Sam said. Ari followed the two who argued in the lobby. Y/N looks at Ari before heading out the other way to go to her room. Ari wanted to ignore all arguments about this mission. Yes, they almost got caught. Trucks moved in and the boats left but they reached the hotel in time without getting caught.
Ari left the two shouting.
30 minutes passed and Ari was doing his push-ups on the lobby desk, puffing exhales as he lifted himself up and down. The loud sounds of trucks triggered his halt and he looked up.
He immediately panicked when trucks of men pulled up to the hotel. Not them again.
Ari jumps off the desk while the other boys stood behind him. “What are they doing here now?” Max asked.
The man named Col. Abdel Ahmed, the leader that watched them, they even caught the refugees leaving. His team came last time to check their trucks and to find them empty. Ahmed walks up to the group with a smile. “So good to see my friends once again. You busy?” He asked, his men behind him held their guns to their chests.
Ari glanced back up to Abdel, “Sadly, no,” He replies. Abdel laughs, “How about dinner? We can get to know each other. After all, we’ve been seeing a lot of people leaving that town.”
“Well, we can have dinner if you’re all starving,” Ari says. The man nods.
The Operation Brothers sat at the table with Abdel and his men with guns. They even surrounded the hotel, keeping an eye out for refugees being sneaked out. “We’ve been having refugees being snuck out at night. You’ve heard of that?”
Ari shrugs, “I’m afraid I don’t understand. We just work at this hotel, mostly tourists from the US come and go.” Abdel nods. “A good hotel. Might consider a 5 star,” He laughs.
The whole table managed to laugh but Abdel stops his laughter when he spots a woman walk in. “Ah...” Abdel says, he looks at Y/N. She was wearing a short shirt that showed her belly with jean shorts as well.
Ari would kill her for that outfit at a bad time. Not a time to wear that.
“You,” Abdel says, Y/N looks at him, he gestures her over, “Come here.” Y/N looks at Ari who just stared at her. Do not refuse. The longer she stood there, his guard grabs her arm and pushes her into Abdel’s lap.
“Hey...” Ari says, holding his hand up, Rachel watched as Abdel’s hand lands on Y/N’s hip. Abdel admired her from behind, his hand caressing her skin. He could smell the fresh smell of her perfume. “She’s beautiful. Not like many women here,” He laughs.
“Enough, let her go,” Ari said.
Abdel continues to laugh till Ari reached his limit once he spot Adbel’s hand trail up to her chest. Ari takes a knife and stands up, “I said that’s enough!” Abdel stands up with Y/N and his men all hold their guns at Ari.
Holding Y/N by her arm, he laughs, “You really want to do that, Thomas? You with these men?” Ari glanced at the men behind him. It’s either die or let them take her. “Let her go.”
Abdel practically throws Y/N away from him and Rachel instantly catches her in her arms. Abdel walks up to Ari, that smile never leaving the Colonel’s lips. Ari may have made a mistake but he knew it was the right thing to do.
Abdel takes Ari’s wrist and rips the knife away and swung towards his face adding a kick to Ari’s gut causing the man to fall on his knees coughing. 
“Let’s go,” Abdel says, he looks back at the group, “I’ve lost my appetite. Have a good evening,” The man retreat to their vans and they rode off, Y/N jumping out of Rachel’s arms, she kneels in front of Ari on the ground. 
“Ari...” She helped him up and sat him down, brushing the strands of his dark brown locks to look at his face. Ari had a cut on his cheek.
Y/N caresses it as he looks at her with a grin, “If you’re all gonna say that was a shitty idea, I know,” He asked, knowing that everyone in the room knew that was irrational to do in some parts. For the sake of their missions and fake IDs.
“You did the right thing, Ari,” Rachel said.
“Yeah, you practically went Alpha on a fox who mistakenly took your omega for another,” Max jokes, Y/N brushed the falling strands again and placed her hand on his knee. “Let me get you cleaned up.”
The woman had taken Ari to her own room, Sam got her some supplies to clean up the small cuts on his cheek. “Y/N, really I’m fine,” Ari tries to push her hand away before reaching for his face. Y/N pulls her hand away and sighs.
“All right, just let me do something with it, okay?” Ari sighs up at her, his brown locks falling over his cheek. Y/N puts down the rag and reaches for his locks. Brushing it away to see his blue orbs.
She leans in and Ari froze in place as she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Pulling away, she looked at him, “That was for what you did back there.” Ari grins softly. Yes, maybe the two have intimate situations during this whole mission thing but Ari thought she was way out of his league.
She deserved more than a guy that has everyone to follow him like dogs. He seem to get lost in her eyes, the moonlight was shining through the carved wooden window in her room with the dim light by her bed.
He pulled her in a kiss. This had her removed off her seat as she instantly sat in his lap. His hands on the small of her back as she dragged her fingers through his hair. It didn’t feel wrong to him. Sarah would’ve wanted them both to have a good life, she got the papers and so he felt that chain snap.
His hands drag down to her jean shorts.
Y/N pulls away breathless, keeping her forehead on his. The two pant on each other’s lips, loving the heat fan their lips as they looked at each other in want.
“I think you know where this is going, Ari.”
“Yeah. And I don’t think I can’t hold it back any longer since this whole damn mission thing. I shouldn’t have brought you with us,” He says, Y/N smiles. “You couldn’t leave your best friend behind.”
“Not my best girl, I couldn’t,” He kisses her again and stands up with her wrapped around him as he hovers over her in the bed. “I know some other way to rub a girl down.” Y/N moaned at that with a grin.
~~~~~~
Bleh, it’s whatever. I’m too scared to do sexual stuff yet, I’m not good enough to do it.
RANDOM TAGS: @joannaliceevans-fanficblog​ @chrisevans-imagines​ @chrisevans-sexualfrustrations​ @iguessweallcrazyithinktho​
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poorlytunedukulele · 3 years
Text
Day 13 - Night of the Hunter
September 13, 2872
It had all started with a cryptic message.
Andal Brask: Party.  Tuesday.  29°30'57.2"N 147°42'28.2"W.  ;)
Azra didn’t have much going on that day, so she figured why not?  If it didn’t end up being her scene she could always just leave.
Still, some paranoia (it wasn’t not paranoia if it was useful, she had to remind herself) made her want to check out the place beforehand.  Or maybe she was just bored.  In any case, she found herself staring at an empty patch of Pacific Ocean at around 1pm local time.  Andal’s coordinates had her smack dab in the middle of nowhere.  There weren’t even any islands nearby.  She flew her jumpship in lazy circles, wondering exactly what kind of prank he was playing.
It took her a good fifteen minutes to realize that Andal had never specified the coordinates were on Earth.  A quick check with her maps revealed that 29°30'57.2"N 147°42'28.2"W was at the peak of a very prominent mountain on Venus.
But there wasn’t a party site at the mountain, either.  There was a cache.  A cache with a cheeky note (written in unfamiliar hand) and another set of coordinates.  Those lead her to a cave on Mars, then an archive in Freehold, then a weird spire on Venus. 
Azra was having so much fun she almost forgot about the party.  There was a clue in a dead zone so full of interference even the GPS failed and she had to navigate by her map alone.  She had to go diving in a cenote for another.
Then one clue dropped her off in the middle of nowhere.  While she’d been galivanting about the system, night had fallen on the Appalachian Dead Zone.  She was in some unremarkable stretch of forest in the mountainscape.  There was nothing.  No tracks, no trail signs, no notes with hints, just the cooling night air.
Azra closed her eyes and listened.  And though there wasn’t any sounds to be heard over the wind, she did smell something.  Just the barest hint of smoke.  It grew stronger as the breeze picked up, so she followed her nose upwind.  She paused to listen frequently.  After a few minutes, she heard… something.  Were those voices in the distance?
Azra had finally found the party.  She hadn’t seen the fire because it was in a deep gully, hidden by foliage.  She crested the ridge and watched for a few minutes below as figures talked, danced, gestured, lit by the roaring flames.  It was hard to recognize anyone from the distance, but this had to be the right place.
Azra picked her way down the slope, social anxieties forgotten.  Why she’d needed to go through a scavenger hunt to get here she had no idea, but she wasn’t about to complain.  It had been fun.
The ground was slippery at the bottom of the valley (there was mud beneath the dead leaf cover).  Azra would have normally paused to gather herself before approaching, but she was robbed of the opportunity when she tripped and slid the last few meters.
She stumbled into the light of the fire.  A ragged cheer went up from those gathered- all Hunters, she noted.  Azra was mortified for a second, all eyes on her-
Then everyone went back to their conversations.
Almost everyone.  There were a few familiar faces in the crowd.  Andal ambled over, drink in hand, hood thrown back.  “Hey, you made it!  Wasn’t sure you would.”
“Liar,” Cayde called from across the clearing.  “You bet she’d get here before the night was up.”
“Didn’t mean I knew,” Andal countered, then turned his attention back to the young Hunter.  “How long ago did you start looking?”
“Uh… four hours ago?”
Andal raised an eyebrow.  “Scoping out the site early, I see.  It’s not even dark in the Pacific yet.”
“I was bored.”
“You bored now?” Cayde asked as he also came over.  He slung an arm over her shoulders and gestured.  “Welcome to the cool kid’s club.”
“Is that what it’s called?”  Azra asked.  “With capital letters and everything?  The Cool Kids Club?”
“No,” Andal sighed, “but it should be.”
“Only the cool kids get invites,” Cayde explained.  “Only the good kids actually find the place in time.  So here we’ve got ourselves a bunch of good, cool kids.  That includes you, now.”
“Who arranged all of this?” Azra asked. 
Andal shrugged.  “Someone from Dead End Cure, this time.  Sometime tonight there’ll be a contest to see who has the honor next year.  Speaking of honor, did you remember your party etiquette?”
Spark answered by transmatting two bottles of rum into his Guardian’s hands.  She waggled them in a proud boast.
“Brought the good stuff, I see!” an unfamiliar voice said.  “Though I don’t recognize you.”
Azra turned as a stranger approached.  They were half a head shorter than she was, leanly muscled, with dark skin and a camouflage-patterned cape.  Azra glanced for half a second at Andal, who shook his head.
“You’re going to have to do a lot of introducing tonight,” the Gunslinger said.  He clapped her on her shoulder and wandered off to talk with Shiro and another unfamiliar Exo.
Message received: you stand for yourself here, no help from me.
“I’m Azra Jax,” she said, transferring the bottles to her left arm so she could stick out her right hand.  “My Ghost is Spark.”
“Name’s Puck,” the Hunter said, taking her hand and shaking it firmly.
“It suits you,” Azra said without thinking.  They had a certain mischievous air about them.  That didn’t stop Azra from immediately regretting opening her mouth.  These were new people, she couldn’t go around saying whatever asinine thing came into her head first.
But instead of taking offense, the other Hunter just smiled.  “Thanks!  I picked it myself.  I think I have heard of you before, but I can’t recall when.  You frequent the ADZ?”
“No more than anywhere else,” Azra replied.  “Um.  I did some stuff at Twilight Gap.”  She really hoped it was that and not the other thing people always recognized, but the other Hunter’s face remained contemplative.
Puck shook their head.  “Fun story, actually.  I was stuck on Venus that whole time.  My ship got shot down and nobody could come pick me up.  I don’t think that’s it.”
Azra realized she’d be having this conversation a lot tonight.  She considered just leaving.  Booze and a bonfire didn’t really outweigh hours of curiosity she’d have to entertain.  “I’m the Arcstrider,” she said, aware of the weariness in her voice.
“Oh, yeah!” Puck’s eyes lit with recognition.  “Say no more.”  A pause.  “Damn, aren’t you like, four?”
“Yeeeessss?” Azra said.
“Andal!” Puck barked.  The Gunslinger ambled back over with Cayde and Shiro in tow.  He was trying to suppress a grin and failing. 
“You didn’t break the rules, did you?”  Puck demanded.  “No hints.”
Andal bowed.  “No, ma’amsiree.  Just the starting coordinates.  And a winky face.”
“I told you ‘sir’ is fine,” Puck sighed.
“I think mine is the more elegant solution,” Andal said with an air of superiority.  “Rolls off the tongue.  ‘Sir’ sounds like ‘zir’ and then we all get confused about how formal we’re being.”
Azra had already lost where the conversation was going.  “I ended up staring at the Pacific Ocean for a while before I realized what was up,” she offered.  “Also I have no idea what you’re arguing about.”
“Listen,” Puck said.  “Zavala uses ‘sir’.  Sloane uses ‘sir’.  Nobody is going around saying ‘him yes him’!  It’s never going to get confused.  Yours just sounds dumb.”
Azra turned to her Ghost for help, but he just did a shrug-twirl and floated closer to her shoulder.  “I didn’t spend a lot of time with people before meeting you,” he whispered.  “I have no idea either.”  Puck and Andal continued their debate, to Azra's befuddlement.
“Somebody please explain it to the newbie before she gets an aneurysm?” Shiro interrupted.  "She's turning red."
Puck turned to face her, dark eyes flashing in the firelight.  “Okay, fine.”  Azra knew that tone of voice.  It was identical to the one she’d used earlier, a weary ‘let’s get this over with’.  Puck spoke slowly.  “So I’m not a ‘ma’am’.”
“You’ve made that very clear, sir,” Azra said.  
“I’m not technically much of a ‘sir’ either,” Puck explained.
Azra’s brain plugged the new information into her equation and threw up an error message in response.
Andal cackled.  “I’m not sure we’re out of aneurysm territory, my fey friend.”
Azra held up her hands.  “You just spent like two minutes arguing-“
“I’m sure we could drag this on for another few,” Shiro said, “but let’s not.  Puck uses ‘ze’ and ‘zir’.  Andal always complains about honorifics because he likes smashing words together in terrifying new ways.”
“That’s it?” Azra said.
“There is no widely accepted gender-neutral honorific,” Andal said.  “But one day…”
“Really trying to change the world, this one,” Puck muttered.  Ze looked at Azra with a question in zir eyes.  Does this have to be a conversation?
“Uh.. it suits you?” was all Azra could think of.
Andal grinned and nudged Puck with an elbow.  Puck rolled zir eyes. 
Azra turned on her Gunslinger friend.  “Your solution to the ma’am/sir issue was ma’amsiree?”
“It’s in beta,” Andal said.  “Still working out the kinks.”
“It’s a wonder you haven’t come across this problem before if you’ve been running with him,” Puck said.  “Referring to people in… interesting ways is kind of his thing.”
Azra shrugged.  “That’s the trick.  I just don’t refer to people in general.”
“If it really bothers you, Puck, I’ll stop,” Andal offered.  “I was getting the vibe that you liked that bit, but I’m always willing to be proven wrong.”
Puck just laughed.  “As long as you don’t teach the newbies any bad habits.”
“I am sorry to inform you it is far too late for that,” Shiro intoned.  “The puns, Puck.  They get so much worse when she’s around.”
“Well see if I share my liquor with you,” Azra groused.  “I had to go into the City proper to get this stuff.”
Puck eyed the bottles she still cradled in her arms.  “Well, since you brought two, you deserve a present.  Come on.”  Ze swatted her shoulder until she moved to stand by a mostly-empty folding table.  Puck vaulted easily on to the table and stood.
“Hey!” ze shouted, clapping zir hands once.  All conversation died immediately.  “Public service announcement!  This,” ze gestured down to where Azra stood, frozen in shock, “Is Azra Jax.  She’s an Arcstrider.  Oooooo.  Big mystery.”  The Hunter waved zir hands in a spooky gesture, voice dripping with sarcasm.  “Here’s the deal: if any of you bug her about it, she gets permission to stab you.” 
“She won’t stab anyone even if they bug her,” Cayde called.  “She’s shy.”
“Then I give Cayde permission to stab you,” Puck said blithely.  Cayde made a silent gesture of celebration, which Puck ignored.  “I just eliminated a lot of boring conversation.  You’re welcome.”
“Is giving Cayde permission to stab people a good idea?” someone asked.
“Better not toe the line then, shouldya?”  Puck waggled a finger, then jumped nimbly down from zir table.  The hum of conversation resumed after a few seconds.
“Thanks,” Azra said.
Puck waved her off.  “I’m the host, it’s my job.  Drinks go over there.  Ashton left to get pizza like two godsdamned hours ago, you’re welcome to some whenever that gets here.  No explosions or ordinance unless some Fallen show up.  Be nice.  No bothering Azra about being an Arcstider.  That’s all the party rules as of now.”  Ze fixed her with a stern glare.  “Don’t make me add any more.”
There was a loud crack- a branch snapping under someone’s foot.  A cheer went up as an unfamiliar Hunter walked into the clearing. 
“That’s my cue,” Puck said, giving a sly wink.  “Have fun.”  The Hunter strode off to welcome the next person to the party.
"Come on," Cayde urged.  "I don't think you've been introduced to Mot Balek.  I have to be there to see that."
AO3 Linky
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photolover82 · 4 years
Text
The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 2: Group B kicking it off... with a twist!! Guesses and Commentary
Hello my fellow Masked Singer guys and gals! It's that time of the week again (albeit I am a bit late, but let's go with it), time for Ana's Masked Singer recap woohoo! *insert fanfare here* This episode was such an insane one not gonna lie, Group B came in with a bang like wow... let's just get into it because it's a crazy episode in it of itself.
Firstly, I gotta point out the contestants of Group B, which this time were 6 unlike A and C which only have 5 contestants total.. and those 6 are (order from left to right, top row first then bottom row in the image below) Crocedile, Gremlin (the purple fluffy guy), Seahorse, Whatchamacallit (the blue and red hair cousin It thing), Baby Alien, and Serpent.
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Alrighty so this elimination is gonna be a bit different than usual because it isn't the norm of what usually happens with these sorts of things (I'll tell you what I mean in a sec)...
So the first contestant unmasked for Group B actually wasn't eliminated (I know what you are thinking... "whaaatttt Anaaaaa that makes no sense")... but actually he unmasked himself (whatttt?! yeah you read that right, he legit was hot and suffocating and he seemed super over it and just took it off by himself... yup, that happened like what mind blown!
Anyways the mask who did this was...
*DRUMROLL PLEASE*
THE GREMLIN
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Performance: He sang Stand by Me by Ben E. King and honestly it was meh, it was really breathy as if he forgot some of the words, I don’t know if he was overcome with emotion (because he dedicated it to his friend who passed away) or what, I felt kind of bad but I low key feel like he was going to go home regardless, but on the bright side I love the costume and it was a great song choice for his range. He has a very raspy voice... like almost like a smoker’s voice and I can kind of tell that he’s an older man, but I couldn’t recognize the singer. 
So the Gremlin ended up being revealed to be.... 
*DRUMROLL PLEASE*
MICKEY ROURKE 
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Ugh this upsets me because I don’t know who he is so I really couldn’t guess him correctly. I searched it up and apparently he’s an actor and director and was in Iron Man 2, which I’ve never seen like ever. But yeah, he did good, he looked kinda drunk not gonna lie and I guess he was suffocated and got over it. 
Alright now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to my favorite part, the remaining 5 contestants: 
1. THE SEAHORSE
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Performance: I really love Seahorse, she’s one of my favorites of the night and so far in the season in general. Her performance of Rihanna’s Only Girl in the World was amazing and I definitely knew who that voice is...
My guess and I am so sure about this guys is singer, songwriter, American Idol alum... 
TORI KELLY 
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Dude like that voice is so recognizable... but also because of the clues: 
Emotion Ocean= she’s super emotional when it comes to songwriting, like she legit said in an interview that she cries a lot
Tea Party= she hosted tea parties with her fans in 2019 (well before all this ofc) 
Rainbow Frog= sang Rainbow Connection with Kermit the Frog 
Judges’ Guesses: 
Jenny: Halsey (say what now? This doesn’t sound like her... is Jenny ok? This episode she’s been messing up with guesses more than Ken... you’ll see what I mean) 
Nicole: Hailee Steinfeld (meh, that’s ok I guess, but not quite) 
Robin: Bebe Rexha (he was onto something when he said country but then he said this, but this is the closest guess of the 3)  
2. THE SERPENT 
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Performance: This one is my other favorite of this group. His performance of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers was absolutely stunning, I got chills! If it is who I think it is, I love him (partially because I think I know who it can be) 
I think the Serpent can be actor of the iconic Broadway sensation Hamilton aka Aaron Burr, Sir:
LESLIE ODOM JR. 
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Dude like I feel pretty good about this guess because of the voice and the clues:
Map of the Caribbean= reference to the beginning of Hamilton where Alexander Hamilton is from
Jr. References= he’s a jr. 
Between medicine & music= he played a doctor on Murder on the Orient Express in 2017
Number 31118 (this was from the Sunday before the premiere but still worth noting)= 3 albums, 11 stage productions, 18 years on Broadway OR bible verse Romans 3:11-18 which was written by Paul, a character he played on Rent
Judges’ Guesses:
Jenny: John Legend (See what I’m saying? Jenny, what are you doing man? That is not John Legend, like they don’t sound alike at all) 
Ken: Daveed Diggs (Wow! Ken got it kinda close, I’m proud, that’s an achievement for him we gotta give it to him) 
Nicole: Leslie Odom Jr. (WOOOO!! Yesss Nicole!!) 👏🏼
3. THE CROCODILE 
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Performance: I also really liked Crocodile and his performance of It’s My Life by Bon Jovi was great! I feel like I know who this is, and I am pretty familiar (well, more or less) with 90s and early 2000s boybands and this one is someone in that realm I am so sure of it... 
Ok so being more specific, I think it’s boybander from The Backstreet Boys: 
NICK CARTER 
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The voice and the clues were a dead giveaway:
The Vegas vibes in the clue package= he performed in Vegas with Backstreet Boys 
Water clues (the water slide and happiest in water)= he was born in Orlando, FL home of the theme parks and FL is also some of the Gators so it would makes sense with the costume
Grew up in Hollywood= moved there when really young
Judges’ Guesses:
Ken: John Hamm (and he’s back, that was a terrible guess)
Nicole: Nick Lachey (so close, but not quite)
Robin: Donnie Wahlberg (um, Jenny agreed, how does she not know that this ain’t your husband?!) 
4. THE WHATCHAMACALLIT
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Performance:  His performance of “I Wish” by Skee-Lo was good, not my favorite, but I didn’t hate it. I am kind of feeling that it’s an athlete due to the height and also how he speaks. 
So this guess is an idea I got from the Internet (subject to change because I have no clue about sports players): 
Rashad Jennings?
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The only thing I got from the clues was:
Dancing with Stars= he won DWTS 
Clues IDK
Orange Jelly= ?
The clock with the Bear Mask on the 5= ? 
Swinging Keys= ?
Judges’ Guesses:
Nicole= Swiss Beats (meh idk) 
Ken: Damon Lillard (I like this guess, tbh.. I kinda agree with it being a sports player)
Robin: Tyler the Creator (that would be cool but I don’t think so) 
5. THE BABY ALIEN
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Performance: His performance of Faith by George Micheals was good too, better than I expected for the costume ngl. I had pretty low expectations but I am pleasantly surprised. He isn’t my favorite by any means and I am also a bit stumped by him especially because of that fake Russian accent, but I am in between 2 people at the moment....
The 2 people I am in between are either Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham or actor 
JASON SEGEL 
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It kinda sounds like him and the clues are a bit confusing but there’s one I understand too:
Tony Awards Reference= he’s been on Broadway 
The mask’s a puppet and Segel is a big fan of puppets (He was also in the Muppets movie) 
CLUES IDK 
Space clues= ?
Friends Reference (2nd Gear)= ?
Ferris Beuller references= ?
Judges’ Guesses:
Jenny: Ralph Macchio (meh I guess that’s good) 
Nicole: David Schwimmer (not bad, but idk it doesn’t really sound like it)
Ken: Freddie Prinze Jr. (ya, no) 
Alright so that’s it! I am so sorry for it being late, but better late than never... I’ve been pretty busy so hopefully this weekend I will have tonight’s episode recap up... THANK YOU FOR READING AND I WILL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE *blows kiss* byeeee! 
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hobimysun-shine · 5 years
Text
bts as billie eilish songs
I love both artist so much because they are so diverse, so driven and in love with their art, so here’s what my mind created at 2am when i actually gotta study for an exam, but anyhow, enjoy
Jeon Jungkook - Ocean eyes 
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“Can't stop thinking of your diamond mind Careful creature Made friends with time”
- color scheme: Venice lavender; purple rain; valor blue 
- grey clouds, quiet ocean, salty air, cold sand, bare feet, long sweater, careful wind, watery eyes, 
- angelic, naive, trusting, incapable of stopping emotions
- a feel of uncertainty for the future, because you still have so much to experience in life, it’s hard to know who to trust, where to go and what your tears mean, who you should give them to 
- young love, pain
- it basically speaks of someone who is impressed by another human - love based on instinct and intuition, when you’re young you just feel things, even if you don’t know where these emotions come from (jungkook-namjoon relationship) ; 
- trusting someone by the feeling you get around them, without being able to trust your common sense,
- have you seen jungkook’s beautiful, ocean, doe eyes ?? (if not, then wth you doin’ with your life))
Park Jimin - idontwannabeyouanymore
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“I just wish you could feel what you say Show, never tell But I know you too well Got a mood that you wish you could sell
Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before I don't wanna be you anymore”
- color scheme: pale smoke; scotch mist; apple blossom 
- cold air, morning dew, raindrops at the bottom of your window, the fabric softener your mom uses to wash your sheets, soft breathing on the side of your neck, white mirrors 
-  self-persuasion, self-critique, inner conflict, serenity, content, libra’s aesthetic approach
- if you have listened to lie and looked at the lyrics, you know why i chose this song for jimin 
- you basically get the feeling that the person is speaking to himself in this song, trying to find an answer, as to why he puts himself through all these hardships, when he could break free from this vacuum of perfectionism he created for himself
- let’s be real, we all know what jimin had to go through and maybe is still going through with being too harsh on himself, with his body image and his appearance on stage, i hope he is doing well now and is content with himself, cause he is a 100/10 and we all love him so much 
Kim Taehyung - hostage; my boy 
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“I wanna be alone Alone with you - does that make sense? I wanna steal your soul”
“ My boy's an ugly crier but he's such a pretty liar”
- color scheme: concord purple; red wine; aurum gold
- big windows, night sky, city view, studio apartment, dark walls, smell of acrylic paint, ripped jeans with that paint splattered on them, acoustic guitars on the walls, quiet jazz music, film paper smoke, deep laughter, strong arms around your waist
- artistic freedom, no fear of judgement, mutual understanding, chest butterflies, assurance, hope, soulmates, in tune with your emotions, who cares if the world doesn’t get us, we get us
- hostage just reminds me of two people, who connect on a soul level so much, that what happens is their love turns into mutual engagement, similar to keeping each other as hostages in their hearts, however i wanted to turn the meaning of that song less toxic for taehyung,, 
- i believe that if there’s a member that would want to connect with people in such level as the song suggests, it would be taehyung
- as for my boy, idk it just gives me a similar base line as in singularity, and i don’t know it’s just probably my fave song of billie and i feel like it is just taehyung’s vibe when i listen to it 
Jung Hoseok - bellyache
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“ Everything I do the way I wear my noose Like a necklace I wanna make 'em scared like I could be anywhere Like I'm wreck-less
I lost my mind I don't mind “
- color scheme: marigold yellow; apricot orange; candy red
- summer heat, tan skin, blushed cheeks, endless roads, loose shirts, scratched knees, rich kids away from home, one backpack and a shiny red ford convertible from your bf’s dad’s garage, loud music, lips, swollen from kissing, night fireworks
- fed up with everything, escape from reality, that one summer you will never forget, vibrant love, point of no return, rhythm, gut intuition, boldness 
- i don’t know exactly either, it’s just these are the connections i make when i hear this song, and all of that screams hobi to me (aries moon) 
- also am i the only one who imagines he would make a killer dance routine to that song (but again he could probably dance to a water drops going down a pipe, so,,)
Namjoon - bury a friend; copycat 
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“What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? What are you wondering? What do you know? Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me? When we all fall asleep, where do we go? “
“ Perfect murder, take your aim I don't belong to anyone, but everybody knows my name”
- color scheme: pearl river; silver fox, steel wood
- empty stage, burning projectors slowly being turned off, microphone heavy in your hand, as the words that went though it start to make sense, sweaty hair, footsteps echoing in the vast space, feeling of falling down, unexpected, but comforting hug, security, the calming scent of someone you know in this new environment, tears of fear and excitement at the same time, new life, new beginning
-  words said out loud, revenge, mixed feeling of content and fast approaching emptiness, always racing thoughts, insomnia, trying to fill a void, searching for an overall meaning, 
- so bury a friend is just has all these questions man. they remind me of rm’s mind. i feel like all of them are things he had already asked himself, or themes he implies in his songs too 
- copycat is for namjoon swiftly leading a group that got a ton of criticism in the beginning and is still getting hate, but regardless he manages to stay on top, write what he feels, be a real artist and throw everything people said about bts failing back at their faces 
Min Yoongi - lovely ; you should see me in a crown 
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“Oh, I hope some day I'll make it out of here Even if it takes all night or a hundred years Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear”
“ You should see me in a crown I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by, one”
- color scheme: marble white; smoke ember; royal silver;  
- dark room, cold hands, shaky breath, unable to look at each other’s eyes, fear of the outside and the inside, pocket money, long fingers pressing the out-of-tune piano keys, weary smiles, small steps
                                          (....)
 steady hands, marble walls, scent of freshly printed documents, looking through a box of old photo albums your mom sent, turning the pages a larger hand stops you from flipping the next page, two teenagers than look awfully like you two are staring back fearfully, low chuckles, eyes full of love  
- strong minds, growth, stability, strength, control, prosperity, hard work, passion, ambition
- lovely is in here because i feel like it portrays struggles with mental health and depression very well. you feel trapped and you feel like there is no one else who understands your personal hell and you are the only one who has to find a way for yourself to get out of that place. yoongi has been in such places before as we’ve heard from him and his lyrics, so i though lovely represents his struggles when he was younger
- you should see me in a crown. literally that’s all i can say, he worked for his success and he got it and he deserves it and he is killing it right now
- yall don’t know the amount of respect i got for this man and everything he has been through and i feel like these two songs portray his lowest and his highest in life and take account every struggle along the way and how he truly deserves everything he has right now 
Kim Seokjin - when the party’s over
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“ Don't you know I'm no good for you I've learned to lose you, can't afford to
Don't you know too much already I'll only hurt you if you let me
Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that”
- color scheme: night snow, onyx black, muddy grey
- smell of liquor, messy steps, blurred vision, flood of thoughts, the darkest time of the night, dried streams of tears on your cheeks, your boyfriend’s hand quietly holding yours, but them you have to split ways, walking alone on the dead street, cold wind air hitting your face, but you find comfort in it, you reach home, but you can’t seem to go in; so you sit on the sidewalk, looking down; you hear distant steps; he sits down in the snow next to you; the sky slowly, but surely becomes lighter 
- quiet sadness, deeper understanding of the world, human relationships seem harder, yet simpler, timeless feeling, a sense of maturity
- this song is just a masterpiece. hear me out, i don’t think i would understand this song as well as i do now, if i have listened to it a few years back. I would have been like “oh yeah it’s sad”
-But like. no. It’s not just sad. It’s a song that shows so much maturity and experience with life that first of all, idk how billie is so young and is able to create music like that. Second of all i don’t think anyone else of bts would fit better to it, than jin 
- people tend to overlook his deeper emotions because he tends to distract from them, he always acts “silly” and tells jokes, but i feel like in songs like epiphany and awake we can see that jin really sees the world and his abilities from a much more mature point of view than other members. And i get the same vibe from billie’s song, so i feel like it would fit best for jin. 
So actually this was way longer than i planned, but yeah, this is just strictly my opinion and it was just an idea i had at 3am now, as i said, hope it’s fun to read :))
im off to bed, because i’m so sleep deprived i will start hearing colors soon 
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kjenncrs · 5 years
Text
𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙏𝙈𝙕 𝘿𝘼𝙏𝘼𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙀… kylie jenner is a twenty one year old entrepreneur/socialite/social media and tv personality. in past interviews she has been described as +ebullient &. +compassionate, as well as -impetuous &. -finicky. their insta is full of shots of swatches of shimmering golds and nudes covering sun kissed skin, glossy lips opening to allow small giggles to fall from them, white toes in clear ocean waters. it’s always exciting to see what the cisfemale is up to next ! could her secret be our next headline ? 
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oh god ! not only am i super nervous jumping into this group but i absolutely suck at introductions? like i swear, if i could square up with them i would ASDJ. with that being said, im gi and ill be bringing you the absolute beauty queen kylie jenner .. im going to try to play her as true to what i perceive her to be or in simple terms as canon as i can! but down below you can find some key points about her, her career, and her family !! 
character introspection
oof kylie jenner to lurking eyes tends to catch ditzy vibes and shallow tendencies.. the media likes to paint the brunette beauty queen in a materialistic, self absorbed, ‘sis you aint no self made billionaire for shit’ light. but like with most celebrities, especially the kardashian/jenner clan, there is always more to what meets the eye. kylie swims in an ocean of light heartedness and good intentions. her heart seems to be a little too big for her body, and the goofiness she has had instored in her since she was little only grew with her. she loves too hard, too passionately, and way too much. gives and never expects to receives. embraces the opportunities she was so lucky to be given. and while her unpredictable moodiness might cloud her pure heart, and her carelessness along with her obliviousness can twist her words; kylie jenner has took her long year of ‘ realizing things ‘ to grow and bloom . her ambitiousness earning her the title of more things that any of us can count, her not so bright moments earning her the front pages of magazines, but the love she has for life earning her a content feeling with everything she is and everyone she has around her. and most importantly it brought her, her number one priority of giving her child as much happiness, love, and light kylie can possibly give her. kylie is in the mindset of just? loving life. exploring, learning, and experiencing everything there is. of course all while running her empire. 
things to keep track off
to conclude all that, basically kylie is just? kind of a light. i mean she is just this playful, loving, hard working person who despite her place in life just wants to live her life to the fullest? 
she gets attached to people quickly, and once you are in her life you are really in her life. basically she doesnt let go of things easily? fights for the people she loves kind of thing. 
theres a few things kylie really prides herself on and its loyalty and honesty.. like no matter what you are to her - sister, mother, lover, best friend, she expects the same amount of loyalty and honesty she gives you . like, theres no faster way to break your relationship with her then to lie or betray her. because while its going to hurt, itll hurt you ten times more.
fun facts ; kylie is very much big on traveling, like seeing new things and doing new things is so big to her? even more so now that she has stormi, like she so badly wants stormi to see the beauty of the worlds . fun fact number two is that my baby is affectionate, like little things such as hand holding, hugs, resting her head on your shoulder is such a her thing? she tries not to be because she feels like shes a weirdo for being like it but sometimes she just cant help it.
and like yeah shes kind hearted? but dont take it as a weakness? im telling you, the attitude, pettiness, and pure insensitiveness that comes with being on her bad side is not pretty. not that shes going to blast on social media ( for the most part ) but cutting you out of her life and acting like you never exist tends to hurt just as much.
stormi is the biggest part of kylies life, and the most important. and it will definitely show. the tolerance she has for bullshit and disrespect for and around her child is on the ground. with that in mind, you cannot be just anyone and think you are even going to catch a glimpse of stormi. she takes who she lets her kid be around and what she exposes her kid to seriously.
her career is something else that holds a big part of her .. in short terms she worked way too hard to be belittled nor pushed down to the bottom once again . she is literally a workaholic. beside stormi of course, kylie cosmetics is her BABY.
her baby, career, friends and family are the only serious parts of kylies life? like the few things she just does not play with when it comes down to it ? like other then that the girl is not serious at all . like i said she has such a light personality you would never expect the raging bitch the fierce ass person that comes out when it comes to them.
she leans a lot on the people shes close too, like they mean a lot to her. shell always make time for them, always do stupid little things to make their day and remind them of just how important they are to her.
 when having a child? kylie had a plan.. and it was always to be a family. i mean she grew up in a really big one, and it was literally her prime example of what she wanted and needed.. so her and travis not being together has been a little hard on her . shes getting through it though, and kind of just accepting that life certainly does not always fit your plans. 
relationships are also super weird to her? like with a baby being involved she cant just be? getting cosy too fast. so like she ‘dates’, as in goes on dates, has fun.. but serious relationship need to be taken real slow by her. just because theres a lot on the line? and she is super vulnerable when shes with someone and thats not something she just lets anyone have the opportunity to see so like she needs to make sure youre legit.
now we can finally get to wanted connections, im sorry i ramble too much !!
so i guess ? if the two have a pre-established connection that you want to keep / add on to just let me know ! but if you do want to do like actual plotting, i do have a little list that she could use. just like let me know what you want? im all for brainstorming ! with that annoyingness, if you want to plot please just heart this? or message me! either one is cool asdfg. 
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omgrachwrites · 5 years
Text
Ocean Avenue (Bucky Barnes)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC
Summary: When Darcie Baker - the daughter of a police officer -  breaks her misfit friend’s heart at 16 she regrets it everyday even  after she graduates though she knows she can’t go back and change what  happened. Everything changes when over 10 years later she meets the  gorgeous mechanic.
Warnings: little bit of fluff, angst, possible trigger warning: illness
Words: 2370
A/N: So sorry for all the angst! Also, I’m getting serious Hal Carter vibes from Bucky in this lol! I hope you guys enjoy this part and please let me know what you think! I love you all very much! xxx
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Twelve years later
Bucky Barnes attempted to blink the sweat out of his eyes, cursing when instead the salty liquid dribbled down into his tear ducts, making his eyes burn incessantly. Pulling himself out from underneath the hood of the car that he was working on he rubbed the sweat out of his eyes, probably smearing grease all over his face in the process. He spotted his bottle of water on his cluttered desk and gulped a lot of it down to try and relieve himself from the blazing summer sun. The water was warm and it tasted a little dirty but it was enough, Bucky poured the rest of the water over himself, sighing in relief as he pushed his damp hair out of his face.
“Y’know,” Steve started, snickering as he leaned against the door frame, one foot crossed over the other, “you really shouldn’t do that whole routine with the water when your fan club is watching intently,” he smirked, discreetly jerking his thumb to point at the house across the street.
Bucky turned to look over at the house and sure enough Gemma – a pretty girl who was going into her final year of college – and her mom were sitting on their front porch gawking at Bucky. Though, Bucky didn’t mind, it helped to boost his ego, not that it needed much boosting if he was being honest with himself.
Both Bucky and Steve lived in New York City since they left the army but they started up their car repair shop in the suburbs just outside of the city, thinking they’d get more business. They had been right, business was booming, they were doing extremely well for themselves.
Bucky rolled his eyes at his best friend, “I think that Gemma’s mom is more into you than she is into me,” he chuckled when Steve’s eyes grew comically wide. Bucky plastered on his charming winning smile, thick dark strands falling in front of his eyes as he raised his hand in a wave at the two women, “hey there ladies!” he fought back a smirk when they visibly swooned. Bucky was used to that – even though it was extremely arrogant for him to admit it and he knew it.
Gemma took Bucky’s greeting as a signal to walk over the road to the garage, an ice cold glass of lemonade in her hand, Bucky noticed there was just one lone glass, “oh, here we go,” Bucky muttered to Steve out of the corner of his mouth. Gemma was a sweet girl but she was too full on at times.
“Bucky! Hey!” she grinned, blushing as she sauntered over, “my mom and I thought that you might be thirsty, it’s a hot day,” she handed the glass over and Bucky took a tentative sip of it, it was sweet, delicious and refreshing.
“This is really good, I’ll be sure to share it with Steve, thank you,” he teased but Gemma still looked embarrassed as she played with the ends of her ginger hair.
“There’s something that I wanted to ask you,” she paused, gnawing on her bottom lip as she collected her thoughts, “I go back to college soon and I was just wondering whether you would like to go see a movie sometime?” she asked hopefully, shrugging as her cheeks almost glowed with the intensity of her blush.
Bucky opened his mouth but no sound came out of it as his mind went blank, he didn’t think that it was a good idea but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. He sighed, looking her in the eyes, “Gemma I,” thankfully he was cut off by the bell ringing in the garage signalling that someone was waiting in the shop, “I have to go and get that.”
Steve stopped him by placing a hand on his shoulder, “don’t you worry buddy, I’ll go and get it for you, you two talk,” he smirked at him as Bucky shot Steve the filthiest look that he could muster before he turned back to the young woman in front of him.
“Look, Gemma, I think that you’re really great but I don’t think the two of us going on a date is such a good idea. We’re much better off as friends don’t you think?” he put it as delicately as he could because he could see that her eyes were getting teary and the hopeful look on her face quickly turned into a disappointed one, “besides, I’m sure that there are guys in college that could make you very happy.”
“There are,” she admitted as she nodded sadly, “but none of them are you,” she chewed her lip again, “but I respect your decision, thank you for not being an asshole about it. I just wanted to ask so I’d know for sure how you felt.”
Bucky was about to apologise but he was cut off by a girlish giggle and a voice that he kind of recognised but he couldn’t place where he had heard it before.
“I’m so sorry that I didn’t recognise you Steve! You just look a lot different now compared to what you looked like back in high school,” the woman was saying. Steve let out a deep chuckle and Bucky turned to see who had accompanied Steve into the garage.
Bucky’s blood ran cold and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he realised who the woman was with Steve. He barely registered it when Gemma bade him goodbye and she walked back home. She wasn’t blonde anymore – that was the first thing that Bucky noticed – where her hair used to be golden blonde it was now a slight reddish brown. It reminded Bucky of the gorgeous vibrant colour the leaves changed to in the fall.
Her ice grey eyes were soft and full of warm laughter as she spoke to Steve. However, something changed in them when her gaze landed on Bucky, it was surprise mixed with another emotion that Bucky couldn’t quite decipher. Maybe it was regret. Her strawberry tinted lips opened just a fraction as her eyes looked Bucky up and down. They had both come a long way from hanging out secretly at the beach.
She didn’t really look much different, maybe she was even more beautiful but Bucky pushed that thought to the back of his mind. Just the memory of him putting his whole heart into kissing her when she couldn’t care less left a bitter taste in the back of his throat.
“Look who it is Buck,” Steve said somewhat nervously as he gestured at Darcie who was wearing doctor’s scrubs.
“Hey Bucky,” she smiled warmly at him, moving a lock of hair out of her face, “you’re looking well, it’s good to see you,” her voice was soft and kind but Bucky wasn’t letting her off that easy.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest, ignoring the looks of shock and hurt that flashed across her face.
“My friend came here to get spare tires and he did me a favor by putting my car in to be repaired, he said that this was the best place. It’s a red Audi,” she bit her lip nervously; “I didn’t know that this was your shop, if I did then I wouldn’t have come here.”
Bucky ignored the sting that her words gave him and he turned away from her, walking to the other side of the garage, “it’s not finished yet, I’ve been busy. You’re not my only customer you know,” he was just being petty now; he’d finished working on her car. He’d finished it a couple of days ago in fact.
He turned back to face her, scrubbing a hand through his hair, “so you’re a doctor now?” he gestured at her scrubs, “was all that sacrificed worth it?” he asked viciously, “it seems like it was; you even have a new hair colour and everything.”
“Bucky, I’m sorry, I really am sorry but what happened between us happened twelve years ago, we were just kids! Please can we just let it go?” she pleaded with him, “I know that I hurt you,” she finished quietly.
“Pah, you didn’t hurt me! I saw it coming,” he was much too proud to admit how hurt he had felt, how hurt he still was, “how’s your dear old dad by the way? Is he still an asshole?” Bucky’s smirk faltered just a little bit as Darcie’s eyes got glassy and he was in the frame of mind to apologise to her.
“Buck,” Steve started in a warning tone, Darcie smiled at him, laying a hand on his bicep.
“It’s okay Steve, you can’t pick your friends I guess,” she shrugged, “I’m surprised that you’re competent enough to run your own business Barnes. I always thought that you were a good for noth-“
“Right! Darc, I’m giving you a ride back to the hospital since you have no car,” Steve clapped his hands, effectively cutting her off; it was obvious that he was hating the conflict.
“Your car will be ready on the fourteenth of never!” Bucky childishly shouted after Darcie’s retreating back, he needed to get the last word in.
“Bucky!” came Steve’s angry reply.
It was like it was a completion to see who could hurt who the most.
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After Steve had dropped Darcie back off at the hospital she walked into the locker room to pull off her scrubs and get changed for dinner with her parents. Steve was just as sweet as he had been in high school; she made a mental note to introduce him to her friend Peggy. Darcie’s mom had called her earlier in the day to tell her that her dad was having another one of his bad days and to think twice about going over there for dinner. However, Darcie ignored this advice; she really wanted to see her dad.
She pulled open her locker door to grab her clothes and she chanced a glance at her reflection in the mirror. She released her hair from its ponytail, letting it cascade around her shoulders in messy curls. Her eyes looked more tired today because she didn’t even have the time to put just a little bit of makeup on. Also, her surprise run in with Bucky didn’t help either; she hated how good he looked.
She sighed at her reflection, pinching her cheeks to bring some colour back into her skin before slamming her locker door shut and she left the locker room.
“Home girl, is that you?” Darcie heard a yelling coming from the corridor behind her and she turned at the sound of the loud voice, grinning when she saw who it was.
“Sam, hey!” he giggled as she threw her arms around her best friend, “good to see that you made the transfer okay!”
“Yeah,” he grinned, “I’m super stoked to be working in the same hospital as you; you look great by the way. Are you going on a date?” he smirked wiggling his eyebrows and she burst out laughing at how stupid he looked.
“I’m having dinner at my parents place tonight.”
Sam’s face fell at her words and he looked a little bit regretful, “sorry honey. How is your dad?” he asked, “is he okay?”
Darcie shrugged before she replied, trying to keep the mood light, “no not really but he’s getting there,” she really hoped the words that she spoke was true.
When Darcie walked into her parent’s living room she grinned at the sight of her dad sitting in his favourite chair, the one he always used to sit in when he read to her when she was a kid and perched on his lap. He looked well; she didn’t know what her mom was talking about when she said that he was having one of his bad days.
“Hey dad!” she bent down to kiss his stubbly cheek, “you look great today, how are you feeling?” her bright smile faltered when her dad looked up at her with a blank expression.
“Who are you?”
She willed herself not to cry, she hated crying especially since her dad had gotten ill, it felt like she was always crying, “it’s me Darcie dad, your daughter.”
“But, I don’t have a daughter,” he simply said, Darcie’s mom who had been watching this interaction shot Darcie an ‘I told you so’ look.
Dinner was nice that evening, Darcie’s dad seemed quite relaxed; he was talking about his day. Ever since he had got Alzheimer’s he thought that he still worked on the police force, the doctors said that it was a good sign that he had still retained those memories. Though, he couldn’t remember his own daughter.
Everyone was happy until Darcie’s mom spoke up, “I heard that Bucky Barnes recently came back to town, started up a car repair shop and everything. Really turned himself around.”
At the mention of Bucky’s name her dad’s face soured, “he’s trouble that Bucky Barnes. People should stay away from that boy.”
Darcie’s heart lurched in her chest and she placed her fork down on the table, not feeling very hungry anymore, “you remember Bucky dad?” she asked, it was painful to know that he didn’t remember her today but he remembered Bucky.
“He’s hard to forget.”
Later on, the fire was blazing even though it was the height of summer, Darcie’s dad was sitting in his chair and she was reading to him. She was reading a passage from his favourite book, ‘A Clash of Kings,’ the book that the second season of Game of Thrones was based upon. Her dad was really enjoying it though he had forgotten that it was his favourite, he liked being read to. Darcie stopped in her reading when her dad gave her an apologetic look.
“I’m sorry that I don’t know who you are. Sometimes I forget things,” he shook his head sadly, looking down at the fluffy cream carpet.
Darcie’s bottom lip wobbled as she leaned forward and took her dad’s hands in hers and kissed his knuckles, “I know dad, its okay. I love you.”
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@void-imaginations @marvelellie @theonelittleone @dreamacoholic @thesswintersoldier @harryngtonewithyourshit @iamariotgrrl
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thetruthlsoutthere · 5 years
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DW Dreams Post {2}
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Dreams {1} 12/7/2016 to 12/8/2016|| Dreams {2} 12/8/2016 to 12/9/2016 // The day before yesterday, its like i was in this grass path with wood tress on either side like a freaking royal garden or some shit and the 10th and the 11th doctor were there and for some reason i was backing up from the 10th like i was afraid of him o something lmao and i hid behind his 6th Doctor regeneration self as he tried to sonic me and he looked hurt or something that i hid behind one of his other selves from him and his 11th self was watching shocked. I think someone else was there. Then its like me and River are in the Tardis, sitting down at one of the steps and she is telling me, "I am intimidated by you sometimes" and i am saying something like "Oh River Song... aka.. Melody Pond" so maybe i am liking telling her she doesn't need to be and asking why she is. THEN So I had a dream about the Master last night and it was his john simm form with the black hoodie bottoms and jeans with the red shirt underneath but anyway, its like he was in the backyard of my house by where our bonfire is and anyway, he was moving the stuff around it and its like then I am walking with Fred and George Weasley from Harry Potter and its like the Master was maybe walking with someone, the Doctor maybe? out of the woods up from the bonfire and he kept looking at me from the woods to the bonfire before and at the bonfire part before, i was walking out the back door and i was looking for someone, curving my body as i put a hand to my mouth to laugh and its like he was watching me stealthily move around the back part of my house to the side and BRUH, before or after that, there was this part where its like i was wearing this Christmas green really pretty dress and a red one as well and he told me HE WANTED TO TAKE ME RIGHT UP Against the wall or something AND THEN ITS LIKE I AM CRYING AT THE END OF THE DREAM AFTER HE CONTACTS ME THROUGH THIS ANCIENT BOOK AND LIKE WHY AM I CRYING?? LMAO ________________________________________________________________
Dream from 10/31/2016 to 11/1/2016 // Its like I was in this dark basement or something but there was this area of three rooms. I enter the first one and I get this really bad feeling like someone is there and watching me. Then I see this second room. I don't know if I am with anyone but I think I was alone. There were three rooms bc I stated it in the dream to 2 other people of what had happened to me and I will explain in that. Now the second room, the feeling gets even worse, I start to shake and try to gain control and everything but whoever is there that I cannot see is trying to take control over me. Its hits full force when I open the third room. I am hearing a scary dark voice, my whole body is shaking and other things. I must have thought it was the Devil because I end up screaming, "No, I am with God. You can go to Hell.". I have trouble trying to close the door because they wont leave me be. I finally manage to close it then I start running away. It is later on when I am in a different room, none of those three, that I explain these events to two other people. I like to think it was Amy and Rory but maybe it wasn't. All I know was that it was a male and a female.
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Dream from 10/31/2016 to 11/1/2016 // Its like Amy and Rory were running through this area of grassy woods and some kind of grey alien creature almost looking like the Absorbaloff but more creepier and deadlier so maybe a different alien creature then its like I am there and so is the Eleventh Doctor, were trying to escape from it. Somehow, I end up farther back from this area in the grassy woods where there is like a plankl to walk on from im on then in front of me and the deadly creature thing sees I am on my own and starts to make its way towards me and the Eleventh Doctor see's this, jumps into the creature's view and ends up walking down that plank thingy whatever in front of me. And in the midst of all this, him getting the creature's attention because maybe that means he didn't want me to get hurt, and I say, "Doctor stop, don't be an idiot.", because he could get hurt too and I obviously didn't want that either. Then it's like the Doctor is close to me, the creature in the background, Amy and Rory are safe maybe still to the side, out the creature's view. Then it's like this woman appears. She looks old like maybe in her 50's. She has long wavy blonde hair, light eyes, warm complexion and she was wearing old clothes rich in dark purplish red and I think she held something in her hands. Is she the one having power over this creature or whatever? Then it's like were in this dark area and there are these group of human men who are staring at us and I am sitting down and one of the men is talking about how they tried to take the creature down and they have not had luck and either {think they know more or don't at all.} I end up being my sassy cute self or whatever and say something like, "We actually do know more..... {something else said} but good effort buddy.", then I get up so. After that, there is an area of restroom stalls but ,like without the toilers, lmao so just a set of doors and the Doctor, me and other people we must know, so maybe not Amy and Rory but other timelords/time ladies and its like we are all regenerating or something. I look either still like myself or Nina Dobrev because I had that feeling. The Eleventh Doctor still looks like himself, I think. Me and him get close almost like were going to kiss but then we run off together. Then it is like there is a scene where I am talking to the Rani or someone. Why do I feel like its the Rani , lmao bc in a previous dream of me and her; it was like we are friends so is this part of this dream before or after that one like dreams in order or not. ANYWAY, whoever the woman is, if it is the Rani, she is talking to me annoyed or something about how the Doctor is crazy about me {She stated that but maybe different words.} and how she has tried to get him to stop or whatever but she failed at it. Then it's like I am walking away from her where the Doctor is, presumably with the others. For some reason, I have a vision that the Master {John Simm form} is stabbing me. It doesn't actually happen , lmao because I had a weird dream previous of the Master {Delgado form} where it was mentioned that he held affection. Check That dream journal entry. Now, I don't know where we were or what was happening in the dream at this part but maybe that dream part ends. I think I may have woken up after this.
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Dream: Night of 9/24/2016 to Morning of 9/25/2016 // I had a dream last night to this morning that involved me The Protector along with The Master and The Rani and there were definitely other people. It seemed like to me that The Rani and I myself the Protector were friendish with each other, idk. For some reason in the dream, I imagined myself kissing the Master but it didn't actually happen then Me and The Rani are to the side and she is asking me "Why did you take your ring off?" and I am supposing she means the one to me and the Doctor. I didn't reply back to her but right now I am like My answer is I don't know?.. ask dream me? What ring?? {The elena gilbert daylight ring which showed up in my Doctor Who dreams as my ring, that one?} There was also an action fighting sequence with others. The Rani that showed up in my dream was Classic Who Rani . The Master was John Simm Master I think.. I as The Protector, my gallifrey title name, kept being mentioned.
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Dream I had: Night of 8/21/2016 to Morning of 8/22/2016 // I was in this house and it had at least 3 stories long in height and I was looking out in the oceanic background. In the backyard, there was woods and in the narrow hill in front of it with grass leading up to the woods, I could see the Tardis although it didn't, it had parts missing to it like the door handles and the push writing sign on it was in a different place. Currently aside from that, the waves from the ocean were crashing really violent and big so I was taking a risk as I went outside to get closer to the Tardis but when I do, it goes from really tall to really small like just a little bit taller than me and I am touching it much smaller than it should be. I think there was a woman there saying something about it or I was just by myself thinking.
Short I know but there you go, that was another dream I had.
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Dream I had #3: Night of 8/21/2016 to Morning of 8/22/2016 // I was in this pure white area of rooms and in the main one, I was there with the Third regeneration of the Doctor, a man and a woman who may have been his companions at the time. I think it was Sara Jane? and a man who I got a Jack Harkness vibe , wearing a dark blue coat , those light denim jeans and boots;  but it could have been someone else. The Master was also there in the regeneration look he had back then and I was talking with the third doctor. We were in danger trying to escape from the Master and we went through this portal and the Master found out what we were trying to do and he was trying to make the portal close. The Doctor and Sara managed to get through and as it was stopping to let the man companion through, I pushed him in so he could go through, letting myself get stuck as long as they were safe. So I was stuck with the Master and me and him were talking. He was threatening to kill me and I was pushing and challenging him to do it. He then opened this one room and there was a white cot table thing and Rose was there and she looked so emotionally dead. The Master was taunting me about her being there and I was crying because clearly I love and care about Rose. It got to a point where I am across the room outside of the one Rose is in and The Master was in there with her, I feel like he may have closed the door but then I am closed my eyes and ears as hard as I can when I hear the Master hurt and beat Rose so bad to the point I am hearing her cries and begs and screams for him to please stop and her cries of pain and I am doing the same, constantly saying please stop and all that and I am screaming because I am trying not to think of this and wanting it to stop. The next part of this dream , it's like it has stopped  and I am seeing Rose wrapped up in a grey jacket on the other side of the room, sitting over a blanket, emotionally dead more than before and I look to see a tuib of water bloody red signaling that the Master hurt her so bad that she bled. I am crying and affected by this and Rose just gives me a dead look. I remember when I was screaming for it to stop, I was hoping Rose and the Master would hear me so either the Master stopped because he felt like it or he stopped becauseh e heard me, I don't know. But as I am doing this or before, I am aside from where I was outside the room and to my left, the Master and someone I would think to be Sara Jane or some other dark haired woman saying to him that he would never really hurt me because if some other person had done it, that person would be ripped to pieces or hurt or something along those lines. Does this mean that.... The Master cares about me or?.. likes/loves? I don't know, this shocked me. Anyway, at some point after seeing Rose again like that, I come to the side of this other room where that same woman and the Master are by each other and they look over at me as I walk to them. I eye glance across them without really looking at them and what seems to be one of those step ladders {from my work in real life} is by them and I hold my hand around one of the handles and with tears in my eyes, I am saying, "Just let her go, please, that is all I ask. Please let her remember none of this that she suffered through." Now while all of this was going on, I figured the Doctor and Sara Jane and the other man would have noticed I didn't make it through the portal and they reacted however they did but this is all I remember from this dream. I was able to tell all of it because as soon as I woke up, I immediately wanted to write it down so I did not forget. For anything else apart of this dream, I don't remember so I think this dream was all of it. At some point in this dream, I feel like I mentioned me being the Protector to the Third Doctor with Sara and the Master was there I think at this point and then I had the Doctor's hand in mine and we were smiling at each other.
{The Protector for my Gallfreyan title like The Doctor's and The Master's.}
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Dream: Night of 8/16/2016 to morning of 8/17/2016 It was like I was in this school and it came to a point where I was stealing food out of this fridge of some sort and I look to my right and Christina Inks was there, who I had not thought of out my dreams in a long time but here she is, and she is laughing in amusement ,watching me as if I shouldn't be doing this and yet I am and she isn't stopping me. Then it's like were talking for a bit about how she has to go somewhere so were parting ways and now it is like I am outside the school and I see Christina or what looks to be here, in a car on the road, driving away with others cars and I feel it weird to me because I thought I saw her on something different before, something different that wasn't a car but at this point, I am outside the school and away from it and it's like I am with Amy and Rory and were talking about something I don't remember and were walking. What happens next is one of them is either on the phone or then someone else is by us, I think another female and then I ask them, "You know of the Doctor? Well about.. the Protector." Now outside this dream, I had already had previous dreams, a lot, of Doctor Who and Torchwood ones so these people already know me, but once I mention the Protector, it's like Amy and Rory know of it and by the way I ask and the look in my eyes, it's me telling them that it's me and they look at me strangely as they realize and then I am cupping Amy's face and resting my forehead against her's with my hand in her over her hair and face and I am saying, "Oh Amelia {or Amy} Pond, Couldn't you see that this whole time, I was right in front of you." I said something like that and when I pulled back from her, it's like me, her and Rory are walking into the Tardis after smiling and laughing together and having me back this way after remembering this part about me {This whole time they knew me, friends of the companions and love of the Doctor, did they all have their mind wiped except me, of what I was and what I am is a time lady from Gallifrey? OH SHIT!} {P.S. I think out of all the companions, based on my dreams, I am closest with Amy/Amelia Pond. I seem to get along great with other companions, but Amelia, it's like I am closest.} But anyway, Me and Amy and Rory are going back into the Tardis and the Doctor {In his 11th regeneration} is there, he is by the Tardis doors from the inside and he is looking at all of us and by how Amy and or Rory tell him about this, the Doctor basically does the same thing with the strange look but then he smiles as he remembers and then that beautiful smile of his , oh my lord, is on his face and then the Tardis doors close and it's like around the Tardis console, I can see the controls up close to know what each one is and does Not like up close with my face pressed right up against it but more like just looking at it and itself is up close. And as Amy and Rory either stand there, me and the Doctor are using the controls to get the Tardis going and it does, you know the Tardis noise and it will disappear how it does, but anyway, on the last control, one of my hands and the Doctor's hands touch it at the same time, we look at each other with a loving smile then we both use it at the same time and then.... with that part, the dream ends.
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this takes place after the previous dreams listed:
Dreams at some point this year or last year:: // basically in one dream part, there were these whole montage of life scenes that happened and im my Protector self and my husband theta aka the doctor was there and its like for the rest of the dream, it showed us growing old together. And I feel like at some point in from the dreams I had last night to this morning and wanting to jot this down EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD HAVE EARLIER , I feel like at one point, there was a dream involving my alliana self and Klaus and a Lucifer like dream from the show but of me and Lucifer. ok byeee.
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Dreams from 8/3/17 to 8/4/17 // I just want to really write these dreams down so I don't forget them, lol. Ok so anyway, it's like I am on this street or whatever and I am walking into this store, walking around it, checking stuff out and there is other people around and it's like I see barack Obama there and then me and him get to talking and he hugs me and I mention to him about how I tried to talk to him once and he ignored me. I remember him replying about it but I don't remember what he said bc im a dumbass. But I know it was him speaking of a reason why he didn't or him thinking he hadn't. Then it's like I am in this dark room and there is two people standing not far in front of me and two other people to the other side. For some reason, for the people not far in front, I feel like one was male and the other was female and the ones to the side were the Master in his John Simm form and the other people, I don't know who the person was but I feel like he was male too. It's like The Master is talking telling the people in front of me to stop talking or something, like he wants them to stop whatever they are doing because I can see his face turned towards them then he turns to me and his face is close to mine and were talking and its like his lips brush up against mine.
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2 dreams in the past few days 7/2/17 and 7/3/17 // the first one which involved the earlier days of the 1st or 2nd , it was like I was running out the back door of my house and it was pouring rain and I kept yelling "Doctor!" and running around. Perhaps, I was sad or in danger and I needed him. Point is, I kept running and yelling Doctor, hoping to find him but then its like in the wooded trees around my house, I see Bill and she tells me to follow her and such and so we do, going through the woods and its like the rain had stopped and I kept asking where Nardole was but she wasn't answering so I stopped asking and then its like were going into this haunted place and there is something we have to solve so maybe there is an alienistic danger and its only me and Bill, The Doctor and Nardole are not in sight and were handling t but then we leave and I am talking to Bill about her and the other companions based on how much time they have spent with the Doctor, can handle things theirself and due to me being the Protector, I can perfectly handle it myself but that we need Theta for this and at this point Bill looking understanding, was looking horrified as well. For some reason , I think Clara was here at this point but remember all I saw was Bill for through out this dream and then its like I am back in my house inside my bathroom but perhaps it is longer or wider inside my dream because the Doctor is there, in his 12th regeneration and me and him are talking and at some point he tells me how it stuns him or something along those lines and I ask him what and he tells me about my beautiful smile of mine. Also at some point earlier in the dreams but not one of the first, its like I am dangerously yet gracefully dancing and the Master, in his John Simm form, is watching by the hallway wall and I get close to him with my hands/arms are on either side of his face and he watches me in shock and I have a serious look on my face. Then the one most recent is like a mix of me interacting with these cute guys and there being arrogant ones and me dealing with them and then its like I am in this familiar city and I feel like I am being watched by the Doctor and then its like me and these people are climbing this huge green beanstalk like tree to the foggy sky but its dangerous and there is supposed to be something strange up above and some where around this point , its like I am in a city and its over flooding with water like that 2012 movie and I am holding this  child and this girl is aside me and were trying to swim to safety and at this point, its like I am in this dark house and the walls are a dark blue and I am at this part of the house near the side where the door goes into this closet except the door itself isn't there and its like I am talking to someone and I say the words, "Maybe because I love my husband? My Theta.", and its at this point where myself I  see myself as Crystal Reed so perhaps that is the regeneration that I am in and the Doctor is there in his 10th regeneration form and I am crying and he is wiping the tears on my face and the Master is there with his hand on my shoulder. Also in this dream parts during these later listed days, the Master is in his John Simm form too.
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