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winndycakes · 2 months

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I did not wish to make this, I do not wish to bring bad light to others, so I am doing everything I can in this statement to keep it as vague as possible to grant others the same privacy I should have. But because my privacy was not respected I have no choice but to come forward with this.

If you know what I am talking about, then this is my side of things. If you don't know what I am talking about, then please move on.

(Also to note, I realize what day I am posting this on. This is absolutely NOT a joke.)

To preface this. My dad died suddenly Feb 26th. I cannot begin to detail what it feels like to lose him, after I've lost many others, to try and handle my emotions and grief while also handling the logistics of his belongings and estate, all this while having to write this on top of it. If I come across as intense, this is why.

I was in a discord server when it first opened. I dedicated a lot of time, energy, art and passion to it. I was even a mod at one point but stepped down due to my own reasons.

While there, we had an anonymous survey posted to gather information from the community about the server, what we could do to improve, what was liked and so on. Instead, some used it as a means to anonymously complain about members. I was a target of these complaints.

A quick note. This server was made within a community that has suffered MANY hardships due to anons. Keep this in mind.

One of the rules is that if you have a personal grievance with another member, to try to resolve it through DMs before coming to a mod or to even send in a ticket.

I must be clear; I was NEVER DMed by anyone how I made them uncomfortable. Not once. Nor were these complaints directly messaged to the mods. This was all through the survey (I will touch up more on this later).

I and other staff/mods that used to be on the team suggested we remove the anonymity. It's too risky for it to be abused, because as noted earlier, this community has suffered a lot through abuse from anons. This suggestion was ignored.

Now, I suppose I should say what the complaints were about. I was told I made others uncomfortable due to, and I am paraphrasing here; "talking over others, redirecting conversations back to myself and my ocs, and making too many jokes and insults about characters."

I will also say. I am autistic. What was mentioned are signs of someone with autism. My dad was autistic. I do not bring this up to deflect or excuse anything, merely to give further context.

I want to explain a bit of my process when I interact with others, in this case especially pertaining to an online space.

When I am talking with someone, anyone, I try to be as inclusive and welcoming as I can be. Saying hello, how they’re doing, that sort of thing. But a conversation is a two way street. If I don’t get a reply or any sort of means to keep the conversation going, I move on. That’s just… how talking goes. I can get very passionate in talking to folks, especially friends and things in line with my interests. It’s hard for me to notice if folks are uncomfortable in person, online it is impossible to tell. I need people to tell me directly if I am doing something uncomfortable and what it is, and if I can fix it.

My process for ocs is this: I see someone talking about their oc, they say something that reminds me of one of mine, then I share my oc. This is not to direct the conversation to me, but to share in it, it is in conjunction. I want to learn more of yours and I do that best by sharing mine. I cannot know if this isn't what you want if I am not told. And I wasn't.

I like to make jokes about characters, analyze them, critique them. I try to do this in a way that makes it clear this isn't an insult to those who like the character(s). But again, I need to be told directly by someone if I need to stop or tone it down. I would only be told sparingly by folks, and when I would, of course I'd stop, do my best to tone it down. But again, I was rarely told directly by people.

What is being described as my crimes are simply the experience of being autistic.

I cannot control it. I cannot stop it. I try to be as inclusive, warm and welcoming to all I come across. You do not HAVE to like me. But if you don't, just ignore me. You HAVE to learn to ignore people who you just… don't like. You have to learn to ignore pet peeves or to reasonably talk to the person. That's life.

So, when I received the above message, I was furious. I was at my dad’s apartment, cleaning out his stuff, and dealing with some harrowing emotions when I got this. I responded that getting this was extremely poor timing and yes, I was angry. But the one who sent this KNEW my dad died. They had seen me post about it, they acknowledged it, and still decided to message me. Who wouldn’t be angry?

Because of what I had been messaged, and the timing, I had decided to go to the owner of the server. I did not feel like it was appropriate for a mod, any mod, to message me about something that is a personal issue that folks should have messaged me themselves (and again, it is listed in the rules that things SHOULD be talked out privately between members before a mod gets involved), in a time that has been hell on earth for me.

I explained to the server owner what all happened with my feelings on the matter. I said that regardless, I would leave the server, because this was something that no one, absolutely no one, should experience. I requested for anything I contributed to the server to be removed, for I no longer felt comfortable for folks to use my art who could be the very same ones pettily using an anonymous survey to speak ill of me. So I sent my message, waited, and got a response.

I do not have anything against the server owner, but there are a few things that I must address with their response as well, because some are factually incorrect. There is full admittance to the complaints received through the anonymous survey, most recently at that. This goes counter to the rules stated that members should resolve private disputes amongst themselves first. (Again please note the screenshots of the rules.)

While perhaps not all of the mods knew of my dad’s passing, but enough DID that they should have known better. I posted briefly in the server in a slow thread so it could be better seen by people, including the mods. I had posted on tumblr as well. But the claim is no one saw it.

Again. This is just not true. Look to the above screenshots.

I do not have a screenshot of when I had sent the message initially in the server of my dad’s passing (I apologize for this), but the point being is that people knew. Another member messaged me in DMs to give their condolences. While I am and have been open about his passing, I also tried my best to not talk too much about it in the server as to bring down the mood, and I sought out the server and talked there as a source of comfort. Saying this was not clear to anyone, is false.

Now, I am sorry that I made people uncomfortable, it was never my intention to, and I will take fault in that. That isn’t what I mean to address in all this. The issue is; if people were uncomfortable, they needed to follow the rules and come to me DIRECTLY stating such, NOT give these complaints through an anonymous survey. And that I should NOT have been told during such an awful period. How can I take this at face value when I am not offered the same?

I wish to point out as well, why I kept bringing up the anonymous survey, and to bring back a note I made earlier.

There is a great deal of falsehood in using an anonymous survey to gather information, when this community has experienced a lot of hardship from anons. I have seen many people torn down and even chased out of this community and others because of people hiding behind anon. Creators, fans, and yes members, mods and even the server owner have all been victim to negativity from anons.

Now, I also must bring attention to this.

This is a screenshot I was sent of another mod posting, after I left. This is ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY. This is why I feel the need to make this statement. Giving details like this is completely unnecessary, and with this said after I left is unacceptable.

I am sorry to be redundant, but I truly am sorry if I ever did make people uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was to make friends and share in the joy in creating art and characters with others. To share space in a community with something I truly found enjoyable. It’s why I’d get enthusiastic whenever OC’s were brought up and I’d share mine. I also wanted to share joy in the topic of the server, and yes some of that for me IS making jokes about characters or even giving critique.

I am not saying any of this to bad mouth or slander anyone. I say all of this to express my side of things. Someone who is grieving the loss of their dad, and so many others who came before him that are making me remember now because of his passing.

#winndy serious

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sugared-violets · 2 months

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can i say something fucked up? sometimes it feels like the worst part of getting [REDACTED] last summer wasn't, like, the feelings of violation and fear and loss of confidence in myself and my decisions, it was the loss of what could have been and, in conjunction, the feeling that it couldn't have really been that bad of an experience, because like...

he was so genuinely charming, and he made me laugh, and he told me i was beautiful even as he [REDACTED]. he held my hand, he listened when i talked, he bought me my favorite food and fucked around in the settings on the bowling computer so that i could "win" and told me he'd never seen anyone play so well. (i got like 20 points the whole game. he was goofing around. it was funny and cute, unfortunately.) it was maybe the most fun date i've ever been on. (not that i have a lot to compare it against.)

he held me and rubbed my back after he ruined everything. he told me he hoped i had a good day at work the next day and that he hoped i had fun working on a project with my grandma that i'd told him about.

worst of all, the one time that i got up the courage to tell him no, please stop, that's too far, he actually did. so was it all my fault, for not saying no earlier? it might be. i didn't say no. i felt coerced and unsafe and he never asked me if i wanted any of it, he didn't once check in to see if it was okay, if i was up for whatever he wanted. i didn't say no. he never asked. if he had asked from the beginning, i would have said no, i didn't feel comfortable going that far on a first date. but he didn't ask. but i didn't say no, so it's probably all my own fault.

i wish he'd asked. he was so nice before it happened.

#i dont know what to tag this #other than #vent post #im being intentionally vague both because i dont want to talk about. it. in any more detail but also to avoid triggering others #but idk if it's still too obvious to not be triggering #i should have just said no. i dont know why i couldnt. i was being stupid #i should have said i didnt want it #i just didnt want him to get upset with me. i have too much experience with a man being upset with me #it was easier to let him do whatever he wanted and then block him the next day #dani.txt

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twistedtummies2 · 2 years

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if you run a kink/fetish blog you really shouldnt be putting stuff in the main tags. the main tags are not an 18+ space, theyre for minors and adults alike, and kink stuff doesnt belong there. i havent reported you yet because i want to give you a chance to reflect and change your behavior, but if i keep seeing you in the main/character tags, i will flag the posts and your blog as sensetive content. as someone who was affected by seeing a lot of fetish stuff at a young age bc of irresponsible fandoms, im very passionate about this topic. i dont care if you publish this or not.

I was never aware that the tags apparently are "age managed." Plenty of people do things of this nature without having to worry about stuff like this. I also was not (and am not) aware of what "main tags" are. So I sincerely do not know what you are referring to, specifically. And if you wish to call me out and claim I'm playing dumb...no, I'm not playing, I sincerely have no clue. I honestly have never seen any reason or known of any reason to monitor my tags, so I have not done so for that reason above all else. IF, from the way you're speaking, this is some sort of unspoken rule on Tumblr, or if I perhaps missed something way, way back when I joined the site, then I apologize and I am perfectly willing to "change my behavior," as you put it, because the last thing I want is to scar young innocent people for life, the way you claim happened to you. However, having said that, I would like to say two more things. One, there is no reason to threaten me with reporting like this. One other person came to me some time ago to tell me that, evidently, the "g/t" tag is one that is meant for all ages, so I shouldn't use it. I thanked them, apologized, and I no longer use that tag. They, in turn, thanked me, apologized in case they seemed rude, and then moved on with their life. Like I said, I am totally willing to change my practices if that is something that HAS to happen; I do not like breaking the rules. But your rudeness is not appreciated, by seemingly assuming that I am doing this maliciously. A simple "you shouldn't use these specific tags" would have been well and good, then I'd know to either change how I manage that matter, or stop wielding them altogether. Two, and most importantly...if this stuff offends you and bothers you so much, then you have no reason to look at my page. And I do not believe my little kink blog is some blight upon whatever taglines you're referring to; if by "main tags" you're referring to things like my more analytical pieces that have nothing to do with kinks, there's not much I can do there, especially since those AREN'T kink-based. As far as I can perceive, those are doing no harm. If by "main tags" you're referring to character names or whatever...I can search a character name and find tons upon tons of stuff that has nothing to do with kinks long before I run into anything related to my interests. I know, I've tried. My work and others doesn't really pop up too often, UNLESS I'm specifically looking for the kink in conjunction. Also, I should think that anyone reading it will realize it's not for them and turn away.

I appreciate your concern, and I understand it...but do not dictate things like this to me as if you run the website, or have the right to decide what people will or will not post. If you would care to discuss this in a civil and polite manner, please feel free to contact me via PM, so we can engage in such discourse. Until then, I will continue to tag things the way I always have, not because I am trying to hurt anyone, but because it simply the most obvious way I know how. If that bothers you so much, then tell me how to fix it, don't simply say "stop it or I'll report you" when I'm not even really sure what I'm doing wrong. There are many others like me. We are not animals. We are not monsters. And we are not out to hurt anyone. We just want to write our silly, kinky nonsense and keep to ourselves. Do not engage in witch hunts as if we are some hideous plague upon the universe. Most of us are just lonely geeks who want a place to express our darker side. Thank you.

#ask #answer #q&a #response #serious time

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angeliahuffman · 2 years

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Well obviously my eye is on its shit again. Wish I could figure out exactly what triggers my allergies to cause this bullishit. If anyone sees this and has had issues with allergic conjunctivitis please help me! This has been happening at least once every two weeks if not every week and really I'm just over it at this point. Do I have any drs in the house? Not that I'll really listen to you anyway cause I'm stubborn 🥴 just sayin. I'll try anyway. Best I can do.

My hair was still on its bullshit today as well so I ended up putting it in its usual bun. Thinking about cutting it off but hopefully I can continue to talk myself out of it. I like my hair regardless of how wild and bushy it is sometimes. It hasn't been this long since I was in high school and I'm proud of it occasionally. We'll see I guess.

I ended up purchasing a furls crochet hook off Amazon as well as a "project backpack" and both of them came in the mail today so I was pretty excited. This is my first furls so my cherry is officially busted and I can't wait to use it!

There it is in all its glory. I've used hooks with cushions before (that's what I currently use) but I've never used a hook as ergonomic as this one. I really hope it lives up to my expectations and helps with hand cramps because god my hands kill me. If it does I'll more than likely purchase many more. The only concern I have is that I bought a 3.75mm (F) hook and I read a review that said the wooden ones have a tendency to snap if your tension is too tight (mine is) and the hook is smaller than a 4mm (G). Hopefully this won't be an issue. These hooks aren't exactly cheap so I'd hate to see them perform like they are cheap. That would be disappointing.

I think at this point I've rambled enough. I'll go ahead and insert my million tags then go back to cleaning my room which should've been finished but you know... experienced procrastinator. Have a good rest of your day y'all!

#crocheters of tumblr #furls hook #I'm excited #allergic conjunctivitis #someone help #please #project bag #amazon shopping #pottymouth #i don't give a fuck #crochet #mental instability #mentalheathawareness #im mentally ill #all remedies welcome #is there a doctor in the house??!

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celestialtarot11 · 6 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/celestialtarot11/735612557921009664/greetings-im-a-may-i-please-know-what-does?source=share

First off all, nice to meet you too dear Mod ❤️ I'm going to be super honest with you - unfortunately at the moment I don't have any card given that I don't work yet and "coincidentally" just today I talked about it with my family. Since you are a kind and talented soul I'd love to tip you at least in the future when I'll make my own Tumblr blog and gain my own money. Meanwhile I'll leave you this well deserved feedback and hope it will help 🤗

First of all, I'm enchanted by your reading and how everything that you picked resonated with me, like everything. Not to mention today I casually checked an app (AstroMatrix - I recommend) and my tarot card was literally 2 OF CUPS, the one you got in your reading, I screamed!!!

This made me so happy because I know what you're talking about and who this person is (again, the way it resonated still gives me chills). And yes, I think I've been manifesting him (hope he did too) because no matter how I tried to 'move on' I always came back to him and that's how I realized that he is connected to me. I still have to develop my intuition ngl but when it comes to this person it just magically wake up to tell me "don't give up on him". The crazy thing is that at first I didn't even know who he was, I was just chilling with my other crush and I suddenly fell into this man's world like it just happened and never experienced such powerful connection with anyone, so yes it deeply resonated straight into my heart like no other readings (no hate, I know there are other wonderful readers like you). I don't mind anymore if he wants to start as a friend to me I'd welcome him with my open arms. What matters is that I have him next to me (not necessarily physically) I want him to be happy with me and proud. I know how much hate he gets everyday yet he doesn't deserve it, hence if I can make his life better I'd feel fulfilled because I love him.

You mentioned that he's connected to me in a psychic, spiritual, emotional way. Indeed we have 12th and 8th synastry & North Node/Saturn/Pluto conjunctions (if it counts) 🥺

Finally, bless your gift/s because everything you've said, from A to Z, for the nth time resonated deeply with me. Thank You and Spirits so much for this and from the bottom of my heart I hope my feedback will help you gain way more followers/clients, you truly deserve it, Mod and I'll gladly recommend you to those I know looking for good talented readers.💖

ps. sorry for the essay and eventual grammar errors since English is not my first language 😅

Thank you so much for this beautiful review 🤗💘 Im honestly so happy and thankful it resonated for you on such a deep level! 🤍 And thats so interesting your connection to him! I definitely had my share of intuitive connections to be able to understand what you mean. And dont worry about the spelling errors I understood you just fine. And I honestly truly appreciate your support 🤗🙌 I wish you the best when it comes to working and trusting your intuition 🤝💗 so nice to have met you

#asks #review

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grandhotelabyss · 8 months

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Thoughts on the recent Jacobin piece on Joyce? Their classic “Is X actually a socialist/socialism?" argument. I think that Ellmann, through Pound, conclusively showed that while Joyce may have been an ambient socialist in his youth, he lived and died an apolitical bourgeois, but card on the table, though, I find Jacobin's cultural section to be dogshit. Overall thoughts on Jacobin, also?

Thanks, just read it—I thought it was bad, portentous, the kind of thing Joyce would righteously have made fun of. Like this:

“When he was with us,” Joyce’s school friend William Fallon once remarked, “he sometimes appeared to be peering into the future.” One thinks of the famous portrait of the young Joyce taken by his friend C. P. Curran in 1904, the year he set Ulysses, where he stands adjacent to a Dublin greenhouse, hands in his pockets, his legs wide apart, staring fixedly into the camera as though peering through it, beyond it. Quoting Walter Benjamin’s dictum that “it has always been one of the primary tasks of art to create a demand whose hour of full satisfaction has not yet come,” Gibbons adds that it is “through form that art addresses unresolved pasts, and gestures towards the future, beyond the horizons of things as they are.”

Meanwhile, Walter Benjamin to one side, here's Joyce's own explanation of his dreamy gaze in the photo:

In 1904 Curran was living at his parents' house just off the North Circular Road, near the Christian Brothers school on North Richmond Street. In the garden of that house that he took a famous photograph of Joyce standing with his hands in his pants pockets, a yachting cap on his head. Asked what he was thinking when Curran posed him, Joyce replied, "I was wondering would he lend me five shillings."

Then again, if I recall Jeffries's Grand Hotel Abyss properly, this blog's own namesake, Benjamin was a sponger, too, so the conjunction of the saturnine with the aquarian modernist may not be inapt.

Anyway, Gibbons is right to point to modernist form, but Joyce's form foreruns global capitalism, not global socialism, in this at odds with his populist earthiness. I think I best explained this tragic conflict within the corpus of the comic author in my essay on Ellmann's Joyce and my essay on Ulysses itself. (These essays are elaborate ways of agreeing with your "apolitical bourgeois" line.)

If Angela Nagle among others is right about the fate of Ireland today—that it's become a tax haven for the global corporations, its cultural patrimony replaced with their HR departments, a model colony of the 21st century—then Joyce's modernist form looks like a different kind of revolution than the one Jacobin has in mind.

What do I think of Jacobin? I think it's basically irrelevant. That particular style of Millennial socialism, flourishing from Occupy to Bernie to Chapo, feels like a vanished fashion, largely because too inattentive to the paradoxes above. The esoteric politics of Marxism is that, in their guise as the working class's tribunes, its expert-class exponents collaborate with big capital to exterminate the lower middle class, of which class Joyce was the 20th century's premier member. And the socialists revealed this in a way we will never be able to unsee in their agreement with scientistic totalitarianism during the pandemic. Geoff Shullenberger recently and rightly reflected, even if I wish I could get the part of my brain that comprehends these sentences drilled out,

Shullenberger is not coincidentally an editor at Compact, the currently more relevant socialist organ, because and not in spite of its (tempered) cultural conservatism, which better suits the mood of the moment. I'd rather read Compact's book critic Valerie Stivers on Joyce's Catholicism than anyone at Jacobin on Joyce's socialism.

#james joyce #modernism

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grievediary · 1 year

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19/6/23

9:12pm

Still a weird day, still feeling.. something. Bordering raw, definitely vulnerable, sore like a wound, fresh but not bleeding, deeply tender.

Don't know what I'm doing, here or anywhere else. Lots of emotions on the edge of spilling over, some more crying. I think I have a therapy session booked for tomorrow but I can't bring myself to check incase I'm wrong.

If there's no session, I can stave off conversation about my introspection, my feelings and not have to be confronted with anyone else's perception, whether or not it could prove to be good for me. Though it's helpful, sometimes, at making me feel heard, to see that my feelings and thoughts aren't just spinning in circles and that someone else will hear them. That someone will take meaning and maybe (hopefully) speak back to me and help me figure myself out. Sometimes it's far less helpful, and I feel more hopeless, but I guess it's par the course for talking therapy. Dredging up painful memories, events, ugly feelings. Contemplating the reality of bleak situations and what it means.

It always feels deeply fragmented. Largely, that's what I think my sense of self is like in general. I'm particular about some things, I have strong morals and opinions and silly sensibilities but I've also always thought of myself as something consistently open to change. If not diverting from my specific stances or opinions, though, I'm always open to hear and think about others. Sometimes I really wish I wasn't like that, actually, that I could pick out several things - anything at all - that would define me in any way, so that I could take these interests, opinions, whatever it may be, throughout my life and hold onto them. If need be, put them on display so people would know that with me, comes: whatever it would be.

I think this attempt at writing down my thoughts and feelings is just going to be another form of spinning in contemplative circles. I hope in time I can figure something else out. Reflect on what I write, look up some therapy or writing prompts to make it structured? I guess that's what I'd like to happen too, offline. I want to quit talking therapy, or maybe continue it, just in conjunction with something more actively helpful. Something with a clearer goal.

I almost forgot about this, but the next therapy session is supposed to be about discussing the potential of me having PTSD or some variant thereof. I'm sort of unsettled about it, but that could also just be the day's mood influencing me. If I do get a diagnosis, or some professional lending credence to the thought of it, I think that would make me feel a bit better. Like I can be taken seriously by others and as such should also take myself seriously, as I often don't.

It feels so strange to be reading back my own writing, especially in first-person. I've never in my entire life been someone to post or comment on much of anything on any public forum. Why? I'm not entirely sure but I have several ideas.

'I never consider myself particularly important or worth listening to, so why would I think anyone else would.' Not that things written out have to ever be read by anyone, or at all, I guess. I think that's part of the wider purpose behind me creating this blog and posting anything at all. I have this freedom. I can do this. It could help me deal with a great many things. It could not help me at all.

I hope it helps.

#entry #self

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abyranss · 2 years

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Here's an interesting bit of Nagisa psychology: The Charlotte part of her has some wires crossed in her brain so she's conflating cheese with unconditional love, and I don't know if she realises she's doing it.

So there are three Magia Record stories involving Nagisa that I use in conjunction with Rebellion to characterise her in my head and when I rewatched a couple of those recently I noticed something peculiar about the way Nagisa was talking.

"If you ever wish me to, Mami... I'll bring you cheese from wherever I am! But if you're in trouble... You'll get cheese from anyone, not just from me. Because you have the right to get cheese. You've given so much, it's okay to receive some now."

That paragraph comes from the Nagisa Momoe Magical Girl Story, and it's weird, right? "You've given so much," she's obviously not talking about cheese there, and I don't think she ever was, so why is she saying that?

The answer for that can be found in the Nagisa's Wish event story. There are two sequences I'd like to highlight here. The first comes early on with Nagisa, sometime before she makes her wish or becomes Charlotte or any of that happens to her. She is shopping for cheese, and she's just a normal human girl. Kyubey is with her and he says that that amount cannot be healthy for her. Nagisa responds:

"These aren't for me. I'm taking all of these cheeses to my mom. I won't be eating them. I actually don't like cheese very much."

Wait, Nagisa doesn't like cheese? Of course she does! That's her whole thing, right? It seems out of character for her but the thing is, the only version of Nagisa we know of outside of this one story is the version of her that existed in the Law of Cycles and afterwards, and while the human Nagisa is ambivalent to cheese, the witch Charlotte is not.

During the epilogue of the Nagisa's Wish event we get a look into her thoughts as she transforms into Charlotte, and this is how it goes:

"Oh, that's right. Where's the cheese? There are so many snacks here. I bet there's even cheese that I've never tasted before."

"Cheese, cheese, where's the cheese? I'm hungry. Where's the cheese? Mommy doesn't have enough love for me. Enough what? Not enough cheese. What Mommy likes is what Nagisa likes."

"Cheese, cheese, where's the cheese? What do I want? I want cheese. I want more love than I could ever carry."

So that gives us a look at how Charlotte the witch thinks. As she transforms and more complicated thoughts fall away she begins to conflate the love she deserved to have with the food she brought her hospitalised mother, attempting to earn it.

And the Nagisa we're familiar with, who appeared in the Rebellion Movie, and who appears in both the Kamihama Cheese Panic event and the Nagisa Momoe Magical Girl Story is not just the human Nagisa who didn't care for cheese, now fully in control of her witch form, but rather a combination of that girl and the witch Charlotte, mentally as well as physically. And because those two versions of her are so inseparable they end up just becoming a single, sort of brand new individual. Witch-face Nagisa is kind of a perfect demonstration of that.

When she channels her witch, she becomes her witch, as opposed to how Sayaka summons hers externally, but when she's like that she's much smarter than she was before they merged; and when Nagisa, in wholly human form wants to tell Mami she has a right to be loved, all Charlotte can do is talk about cheese.

Here's another bit of dialogue from earlier in the Nagisa Momoe Magical Girl Story:

Nagisa: "Mami! One day I'm gonna have my own farm, and make lots and lots of cheese!"

Mami: "I see... That's a great dream."

Nagisa: "And then, and then, I'll get lots of cheese from everyone. So much cheese I can't even hold it all."

Mami: "You're going to make your own cheese, and get it from other people?"

Nagisa: "I have a right to get cheese. So do you. If I can make my own cheese, will you eat it all, Mami?"

That interaction is less egregious than the first one, and on its own could be just a weird conversation with an entitled child about cheese, but with the wider context, I think it's pretty clear that's not what they're talking about, except maybe the bit about the farm? Charlotte does still genuinely love actual cheese as well, after all.

It sort of recontextualises what she said in Rebellion, though, about her reason for coming back.

"I just wanted to eat cheese one more time."

And to combine this with my other theory, that Nagisa still remembers everything at the end of Rebellion, then it makes a lot of sense why she'd want to stay in Homura's fake world. There she can try cheese again one more time with a new family that's willing to share it with her. If she fought against Homura to change things back then that would only mean returning to the Law of Cycles, where there isn't any cheese for her to eat.

Of course, I'm not talking about cheese.

#pmmm #puella magi madoka magica #mahou shoujo madoka magika #Magia Record #MagiReco #nagisa momoe #momoe nagisa #charlotte the witch #bebe #pmmm theory #pmmm meta #meme #art #fan art #my art #Nagisa is still Charlotte the witch #even when she's Nagisa #and it isn't something she can just pretend not to be either #Would the gestalt Nagisa be called a Majo Shoujo?

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