#I'm Jonathan Sims and I don't know who I am anymore! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cuttoothed · 2 years

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Happy Anniversary! (I'm very late, I know). If you're still taking prompts, can I request Jon and Martin one year after they land somewhere else? Thank you so much <3

(Anniversary Prompts)

I am basically always taking prompts, honestly! I still have quite a few to get through, but this one jumped the queue because I was looking for an excuse to write something for the anniversary of the finale. So thank you for the excuse! :3

For weeks leading up to it, Martin debates whether to say anything. Jon hasn't mentioned anything about it, and he would have if he remembered, no question, so maybe it's better not to remind him. It's not exactly a nice anniversary, even if it gave them a whole new start; there was an awful lot of blood and pain and world-shattering horror involved, and for Jon, the terrible guilty grief of visiting the Fears on a multitude of worlds. That guilt and grief still keep him up some nights (it's getting better, but Martin doesn't think it'll ever leave him entirely) so maybe it's for the best if he's forgotten.

On the other hand, if Jon does remember will he be annoyed that Martin didn't tell him? He hates to feel as if he's being coddled, and "keeping something from him for his own good" would almost certainly fall under that category. But it's not as if he'd have any proof that Martin knew. He could just claim he forgot. It would be a lie, but only a white lie—practically not a lie at all, really. (Martin knows that justification wouldn't make him feel any better in the slightest about lying to Jon.)

Really though, it is for his own good, and one of them has to be thinking about that. Jon would chop his finger off if he thought it would do someone some good (and for anyone else that would be a colorful exaggeration, but not for Jonathan Sims) but he never thinks of his own wellbeing. So Martin sometimes has to do it for him.

Anyway, he doesn't have to decide right now—it's not for weeks yet! So he puts it off, and then it's not for days, and then it's the day after tomorrow, and finally he wakes up Friday morning and he still hasn't decided. Jon's asleep when he leaves for work (the café opens at seven and much as Martin loves Jon, he's not an early riser at the best of times) so he rationalizes that he still has all day to decide.

Martin doesn't actually need to have a job, if he didn't want to. In this world, with the Beholding back on the outskirts of reality, Jon doesn't know everything anymore, but he can know almost anything if he puts his mind to it. And that includes knowing exactly where in a reel of scratch cards the winners are located. He's discreet about it, of course: never wins too big—a few hundred pounds at a time—and spreads his wins out carefully around the plethora of corner shops and petrol stations and supermarkets in London.

This leaves Jon with a lot of free time, which he spends mostly trawling paranormal web forums, looking for people he can help. He's admitted to Martin that is also serves to feed the Eye, but in a way that's not directly harmful to the other person; he's not appearing in anyone's nightmares. So far he's restricted himself to just giving advice—which often comes down to "burn that book" or "seal that object in concrete and throw it in a river, no I don't care how expensive it was"—but Martin knows he really wants to meet some of these people in person, try to offer them more tangible help. What's holding Jon back is the fear that, face to face with someone who he knows has a statement, he wouldn't be able to resist taking it. The thought makes Martin afraid for him too. So for now, Jon does his work as a pro bono paranormal consultant online.

Martin's not sure it's exactly a sustainable lifestyle, but he's not going to pressure Jon back into a regular workplace, not when he spent most of their first six months here re-learning how to be a person after being an all-powerful avatar of fear. He'll take the next steps—whatever those are for Jon—when he's ready.

In the meantime, Martin has his job at the café so at least they'll have an income if the Beholding someday suddenly decides to stop cooperating with Jon's scheme. He likes the café. It's straightforward, and the most stressful thing that ever happens is if they run out of ciabatta during the lunch rush, and by now he's pretty friendly with the other people who work there. They've even started doing a pub quiz once a week.

Besides, Martin's never been comfortable feeling as if he's dependent on someone else. Thinking back on it, that was probably the cause of at least some of his less than spectacular behavior during the apocalypse—combined with the stress of it being the end of the bloody world, of course. Not that it's an excuse, only a reason, but the fact that he's now aware of it is a good thing, he thinks. Personal growth.

But he still hasn't decided whether to say anything to Jon.

He debates it all day in his head, with such intensity that he keeps having to ask people to repeat orders and Justine asks if he's feeling all right. Then he debates it on the walk home to their cozy little flat, and right as he walks in the front door he decides, firmly, that he won't say anything.

He goes into the living room and Jon is sitting on the sofa, peering at his laptop screen over the frames of his glasses, and with his favorite mug (the one with the penguins) on the coffee table beside him. He looks up as Martin enters, his frown of concentration transforming into a smile that lights up his face.

"Hi love," he greets, his voice pure affection. "How was work?"

In that instant, Martin is filled with so much love and admiration for this man, for all he's survived and still retained his warmth and kindness, that he knows he can't lie to him. Not even by omission.

"It's the anniversary of the day we arrived here," he blurts out. Jon blinks at him. "I—I mean the day it all...you know—"

"Oh," says Jon, his expression going serious. He nods. "Yes, I know. I didn't say anything, because...well, everything's been so good here, you've been so happy, with the café and—and everything. I didn't think you'd want to be reminded."

"Oh," it's Martin's turn to say, and he feels a sheepish smile spread across his face. "Umm, same? I thought...if you'd forgotten about it, that was probably a good sign? That you weren't actively thinking about it, I mean."

Jon gives a soft chuckle and stands up, coming across the room and resting his hands on Martin's shoulders. "So we were each trying to protect the other and shoulder the burden alone, eh?"

"Sounds about right for us," Martin says, his own hands coming to rest on Jon's lower back, pulling him into a hug. "We really should work on that."

They hold each other tightly for a long time, and then pull apart just far enough that Martin can look at Jon's expression.

"Do you want to tell me how you're feeling?" he asks, because Jon doesn't always want to, and sometimes he wants to but can't, and framing it this way puts less pressure on him, lets him know that Martin is there to listen without expectation. It's something they've learned together; they've been learning a lot of things, this past year, about how to communicate and compromise and be together.

Jon frowns a bit. "Not good, all day," he admits. "I've been thinking about it a lot. Sick to my stomach, if I'm honest. It's better with you here, though—when it's us dealing with it together."

"How about we go for a walk?" Martin suggests. His feet are tired from rushing around all day, but he knows Jon won't have been out yet and some fresh air might do him good.

"That would be nice," says Jon gratefully.

They walk to the local park and sit on a bench near the duck pond, watching the ducks dabble and dive and preen. A pair of women pass them, pushing prams and chatting, and a jogger loops the pond a couple of times before heading off down another path. An elderly man sits on the next bench over, tossing sunflower seeds to a group of strutting, cooing pigeons. Martin reaches over and takes Jon's hand in his.

"I'm glad we have this," he says. It's been a year. Martin still feels guilt for some of his choices, and grief for others, but it's a beautiful afternoon and he's here, with the man he loves, and he refuses to be sorry about that. Jon smiles at him, and squeezes his hand for emphasis.

"So am I," he says, and despite everything, Martin knows he means it.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonmartin #writing prompts #my fic #whoops this got long

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twigstarpikachutroll22 · 2 years

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spiral, vast, corruption

The Spiral: Favorite dialogue/quote from the series?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD THERE'S LITERALLY SO HECKIN' MANY OKAY-

Favorite dialogues include:

Basira and Melanie's conversation in mag 106

Jon and Gerry's entire conversation in 111

Jon and Daisy's entire conversation in 132

the iconic Let's Gouge Out Our Eyes And Make Out scene in 154

that part of 167 where Martin asks Jon to describe his current emotional state and all Jon can say is "I feel...sad." and then "Very sad."

Jon and Martin playing I Spy in mag 180, and then obviously the "It's a mystery!" part jkfjgl;ksd

the conversation Jon and Martin have towards the end of 199 during which Jon ends up crying (ToT)

Favorite quotes include:

"If I'm going to be operating on a man's pancreas, I want to feel that pancreas."

Am I allowed to say Jane Prentiss's entire statement??? 'Cause I really really liked it for some reason lksdjgklsd

"I just need to know if you can save my son. I’ve asked and asked and your people only ever tell me to write my statement. Put it down on paper for investigation. Is that going to help? No. Of course it isn’t. Even if you had the power to do something, would you? Or would you rather watch my son burn so you can take notes." (a.k.a. the beginning of the statement in episode 37. made me go O_O)

Am I also allowed to say the entirety of the statement in mag 75? That person with insomnia to an insane degree? Because I also really really liked that one. ksdjklsdg

Jon: "Yes, I know what a meme is."

Jon: "Not today, dude!"

Jon: "Am I...Elias, am I still human?" (;o;) (TOT)

Tim: "Who am I even sad for?"

Gertrude: "-there’s ten years yet before I can afford a conscience."

Gertrude, sharply: "And you’re all lazy fools. So used to it being easy, to picking off the vulnerable and the unprepared, you can barely conceive of anyone actively working against you, of being ready. You honestly thought when she died I’d just be struck dumb with terror, just waiting around for one of you to finally get around to revenge, paralyzed with fear, because that’s all you’ve ever known."

"Intelligence doesn’t make you less prone to taking on bad ideas, it just makes you better at defending them to other people and to yourself. Smart people can believe some truly ridiculous things, and then deploy all the reason and logic at their disposal to justify them, because a belief doesn’t begin in your mind. It begins in your feelings."

Eric Delano's whole The Reason You Suck speech to Gertrude in mag 154.

Adelard Dekker: "Goodbye, Gertrude. May you find your rest where no shadows are cast, and no eyes may see you slumber."

Peter: "He doesn’t… want… to see you." Jon: "Then let me hear that from him."

Jon: "-but we need you. I need you." Martin: "No you don't. Everyone's alone, but we all survive." Jon: "I don't just want to survive."

Jared: "Who's this? Your boyfriend?" Jon: "Yes, actually."

Martin: "I am Martin Blackwood, and I am not lonely anymore; I am not lonely anymore. I want to have friends; I – no, I have friends. I-I’m in love. I am in love, and I will not forget that; I will not forget."

Salesa: "Your powers won't work here, Jonathan Sims Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute London."

Every time Jon calls upon the Ceaseless Watcher in season 5.

Elias/Jonah: "I don't want to die." Jon: "Neither did they."

I may have to edit this later to add more when they occur to me.

The Vast: Favorite platonic friendship?

ALL OF THEM, BRO. I appreciate the heck out of the entire S1 crew, and Jon and Basira back when they were friends, and Jon and Gerry for the short time they got to know each other, and Jon and Daisy in season 4, and I freaking WISH that each and all of the members of S3-S4 team archive could've been actual friends, I will never be over this, just let them all be friends gosh dangit I'm gonna cry 😭😭😭

The Corruption: Which fear are you marked by (ex: always see spiders, fascination with the sky)?

*opens my desk drawer to reveal an absolutely massive pile of paper and post-its on which I have doodled clusters upon clusters of spirals*

I mean. It's hard to say for sure but I can't help wondering if this means something. And I mean I do have some important memories that could possibly be called Spiral-related.

I'm also starting to think I might have some serious Lonely influences too.

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cirrus-grey · 5 years

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I do not have the words to turn this into a full story, but I really want to write a Magnus Archives/Good Omens crossover where Adam Young is the Extinction.

(This got longer than expected so I'm throwing in a read more - contains Ineffable Husbands and JonMartin)

No one knows this until Jonathan Sims, tired and sad but still chasing down information wherever he can, stumbles into a small bookshop in Soho trying to track down a renegade Leitner and catches the attention of its proprietor. Aziraphale, for his part, instantly recognizes one touched by the Eye, and zeros in on Jon as someone who needs help. And yes, for the most part Heaven and Hell try to stay out of the eternal struggle between the Fears - they are an entirely human affair, after all - but, well...

Crowley wanders in halfway through Aziraphale's statement about his own life, and Jon freaks out for a second when the Eye airdrops him the knowledge that this is a demon - but Aziraphale smiles and calls him over with a "Dear, someone wants to hear our story!" and Jon realizes this is none other than the Serpent of Eden that Aziraphale has been telling him about for the past hour.

Jon's more reluctant to share his own story, but eventually he comes out with it. Aziraphale's so easy to talk to, so empathetic, and Jon's felt so alone for so long -

After he's done he notices the little glances Aziraphale and Crowley keep trading between each other, and how they were very focused on everything he had to say about Martin. He gets defensive, telling them they can't interfere - Martin can make his own choices, he told Jon not to get involved, don't you dare blunder in and make everything worse - and they of course agree and promise not to follow this up, and as soon as he's gone Aziraphale turns to Crowley and goes "So how exactly are we going to save that young man's boyfriend?"

Crowley raises an eyebrow. "You know he didn't actually say they were dating, angel."

"Oh come on, dear. I know you don't like to admit to noticing this sort of thing, but even you must have felt the love washing off him every time he talked about the man."

"Yeah, but just because he feels it doesn't mean he's done anything about it. Eh, angel? Some people take a long time to sort that kind of thing out."

"You're one to talk. Remind me, who was it who made the first move, my dear?"

"All right, you've got me there. But we did promise not to intervene."

"Yes, well. You're a demon. Breaking your word is what you do."

"And you're an angel, which means..."

"I am morally obligated to help anyone who's in danger. And that man's boyfriend is most definitely in danger."

So they go to the Magnus Institute and find Martin, up to his ears in scheduling and Lonely as ever. He, of course, freaks out and tries to get them to leave - "I can't talk to anyone, okay, I don't even know who you people are..." - so Crowley snaps his fingers and hypnotizes him Mary Hodges style, and they start asking him what he's doing and why and piecing together the story. They're just starting to realize - hang on... he's not talking about...? Is he? when Peter appears in the office behind them, menacing and static-y, demanding to know what's going on.

"Yes, yes, very spooky I'm sure." Aziraphale snaps his fingers and Peter goes under as well, and they cross-examine the two humans about this new Power of theirs until they realize yep. Yeah. They're literally just talking about Adam, look, did no one notice that we saved the world last summer???

When they wake them up both Peter and Martin start yelling, and it takes a while for Aziraphale and Crowley to explain to them that they are seriously behind the times and they don't have to worry about that anymore. The Extinction wasn't even their problem, it wasn't one of the Fears, it was just an eleven-year-old getting disillusioned about the way the world works. So thank you very much but we've already handled this one.

Aziraphale starts dragging Martin out of the office - "Come on, dear boy, time for you to go home..." - and Crowley hangs back a moment.

Peter is angry. There is hatred and vengeance in his eyes, and Crowley can read every little torture he is planning in them plain as day. He shuts the office door, making sure they won't be disturbed, and leans in.

"You don't really know who I am, do you? You think you could take me down if it came to that - indeed, you're planning it right now. You think - hey, I'm an Avatar of Loneliness; no need for me to be afraid of the flash bastard in the sunglasses - I am fear." And he takes a step closer. "You ever died? Surely not, you fear death - it's why you are what you are. Well, let me tell you... I know death. And I know what comes after. And if you lay a single finger on those folks down in the Archives, not even the deepest of Solitudes will be able to stop me finding you and visiting on you a fate far worse than any the afterlife could ever imagine. So." He steps away, opens the door. "Piss off." And Crowley is gone, leaving Peter alone in the office, more afraid than he has been since that day so long ago when he first named himself Forsaken.

Crowley catches up to Aziraphale and Martin at the stairway down into the Archives, having a spirited argument about whether or not to go down. Martin's still convinced they're lying about the Extinction, half-sure Jon set all this up as a ploy to get him back. Crowley grabs him by the shoulder and forcefully marches him down the steps, rolling his eyes at Aziraphale because surely they've come too far to be stopped by a simple argument, right?

When they barge into Jon's office he quickly shifts from joy at seeing Martin to anger at Aziraphale and Crowley for interfering, and they have to take another long while to explain to him exactly what's going on - about Adam and the Extinction and prophesies and really, we appreciate you humans dealing with the little apocalypses the Fears keep attempting, but this one really was on us - and the whole time they're both growing more and more uncomfortable because they can feel the pure, uninhibited longing wafting off the two humans as they try not to stare at each other too much.

By the time they're done explaining, Aziraphale and Crowley are basically clinging to each other (surreptitiously, they hope), leaning into each other's warmth as hard as they can to stave off the secondhand pining and loneliness they're experiencing. When Jon says, with a soft and hopeful glance directed at Martin, "Does this mean you're back, then?" they excuse themselves as fast as possible because good God (or Satan, or somebody), those two need a chance to talk about their feelings in privacy.

And if the Institute is suffused with an air of pure love at some point in the near future, replacing its usual air of tense watchfulness, well, then... maybe they finally found the time to sort things out.

(Peter pulls his protection from the Institute that very afternoon, but for some reason the other Fears never capitalize on that weakness to attack the building again. There's something new there, something different, some new guardian that they instinctively know is more dangerous than they could ever be. Aziraphale and Crowley are not supposed to interfere in the business of the Fears - they are entirely human affairs, after all. But then, when has that ever stopped them?)

#i just really want to see Aziraphale and Crowley as the supernatural guardians of the Archives crew okay #(and see Peter utterly embarrassed about being behind the times)#good omens #the magnus archives #my writing #the dinghy #ineffable husbands #magnus archives fanfiction #good omens fanfiction #my magnus archives stuff #tma go #my good omens stuff

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