#IM STILL WRITING FOR THEM I SWEAR

[britneyshakespeare]

wait james somerton sounds a lot like some people on tumblr when they start spouting off about queer history or supposed controversies within it. is that where you guys are getting your stuff? is it james somerton brain poisoning?

#i had never watched or heard of his channel before hbomb and todd's videos #im still watching todds video i just got past that stupid nambla part #tales from diana #i suppose there's a lot to say about people making as nick called 'observational' statements but what todd more aptly calls #pulling shit out of one's ass. #it's the same thing as somerton talking about straight women or white women or straight white women being offended at gay sex scenes #yet supposedly seeking out queer media that would have gay sex scenes? #or slighting more chaste/fluffy queer media ie heartstopper? #ppl who have these sorts of biases against certain types of gay people or their media if it's not what they see as #the most radical progressive form of queer visibility and acceptance. #creating strawmen enemies that they stand in defiance of #yeah this stuff is really getting my mind rolling #i swear ive seen a lot of these points james somerton has made being later used elsewhere on social media #was it ppl watching him who were inspired to go on these rants? #bc ive always seen these sorts of citationless rants and ravings in queer-friendly spaces and been like 'what are you talking about' #maybe someone with a scarf and a video essay voice told them smugly that these things were true #crazy. crazy #but also then again how much of this baseless speculation on social media just fueled/inspired the writing of these video essays... #idk. misinformation is a self-perpetuating cycle.

[pickled-flowers]

Rereading the Mysqueery Gang and like. Who let me post this. Worst writing I've ever done like heck I'm so sorry to all my readers i should have been better 😭 these kids deserve a better story

#cringing so bad like oof #good ideas! good concepts! terrible execution #this is why i havent continued it from where i left off #if im ever to pick this project back up #i would need to redraw and rewrite the whole thing #at the end of the day i was 18 😭 my brain was NOT developed enough #the dialogues....... they are so flat like kdjfkshdisbfjdhsibdjdbc #I have to trust my writing is better now 😭😭😭😭 because BOOOOOOOOO #anyways once more im so sorry to all the people who were readers im so very thankful for you all #one day!!! one day theyll live again #and ill put them through so much you will no recognize them #ive had the time to listen to tma since then ok #also i made them swear so much #its because thats how i speak 😔 ive got a nasty mouth sorry #the story is still the same in my mind tho like i still have the ending ready

[nonbinary-eddie-munson]

I was thinking about how the run away with me au Robin and Steve "should we get divorced?" conversation comes about:

Theyre about 23 and Robin comes home in tears after another break up. The reason: Robin had asked her girlfriend of 8 months, Lorraine to move in with her and steve. Lorraine assumes this means steve is moving out and when Robin clarifys that no Steve is staying, he's an important part of her life theyre married for chists sake. Well Lorraine doesnt take that well, says she isnt going to spend her life playing second fiddle to Steve.

This isnt the first time a relationship had ended for either of them because a partner hadnt been able to accept that Steve and Robin were a package deal. Things had been especially rough for them romantically in the first couple years of their marriage. It wasnt until a particularly awful screaming match between Robin, Steve and Steves first real boyfriend, that they were able to admit their relationship was incredibly codependent and unhealthy. Steves boyfriend had been upset when Steve had cancelled on him for the 3rd time in a row because of a Robin Emergency™️ and decided to confront Robin about it while Steve was in class. Things escalated quickly when Steve came home early from class to find them arguing and immediately took Robins side. The argument and Steves relationship ended with a slammed door, a lot of tears and a new rift in Robin and Steves relationship.

It took a lot of long conversations with Carina and Marjorie, Steve working through his toxic masculinity enough to go see a therapist - He and Robin made a deal that theyd both go talk to someone about, you know almost dieing "do you think me being fucked up by what happened at starcourt makes me weak steve?" "No of course not!" "Well then why would it make you weak?" - and a summer spent apart (Robin taking an internship in rome to study latin) for them to sit down and have a long conversation about boundaries and ground rules for how they would navigate their relationship as well as dating in the future.

Steve and Robin agreed to both take a break from dating while they worked through their respective traumas, and figured out how to navigate their relationship in a healthy way. Things werent easy, the both of them occasionally backsliding into unhealthy behaviors, more than a few nights where one of them spent the night with Carina and Marjorie in order to have space from eachother. But eventually they get their shit figured out and decide to brave the world of dating again. Steve and Robin both have their share of flings and short lived relationships but nothing so far seemed to stick. That is until Robin met Lorraine.

Lorraine was funny, sweet and a little bitchy. They had immediately clicked after being introduced by some mutual friends from school. Robin really thought things with Lorraine were going to work out. Steve and Lorraine had gotten on like a house on fire, she had slipped into Robin and Steves dynamic easily, trading jokes and light hearted jabs, cooking breakfast together on days Lorraine would stay at their apartment. Robin had fallen hard and fast, she thought she had finally found someone who accepted that her and Steve were a package deal. So 8 months in when Lorraines lease was ending Robin (with agreement from steve) asked Lorraine to move in. Things don't go to plan. Robins dreams of a future with lorraine are shattered. She goes home broken hearted.

After Robin has cried herself out, her and steve cuddled together on the couch Steve is the one to broach the topic. Robin immediately bursts back into tears before he calms her back down again saying he doesnt want a divorce but he also doesnt want to hold Robin back, doesnt want to be the reason she cant find happiness. Robin replys by saying if anyone is holding the other back its obviously her, steve gave up everything to protect her afterall. Steve calls bullshit -years of therapy and he can finally say that word without cringing- says he would do it all again in a heartbeat, that she doesn't owe him anything. They stay up all night talking about it, about what the both of them want from their futures. Neither can see a future without the other. they're platonic life partners, one day they'll find their someones who can accept that and if not well, they'll always have eachother.

Of course they do find their someones in the form of a charming if infuriating metal head and a brilliant, sweet, and badass reporter. Through trial and error the four of them figure out how to navigate life together. They all live happy ever after.

Robin and Steve celebrate 30 years of marriage with divorce papers. They'll always love eachother but now they dont need a marriage to keep eachother safe. They dont need a marriage to stay as platonic life partners. They have eachother and they have Eddie and Nancy. They have everything they need.

-

Lmk what you think! I'd love to have someone to scream with about this AU and bounce ideas off of :D

Tagging by request <3 @ramyayaya

#i think steve and eddie find eachother infuriating in a good way and also a sexy way and i love that for them #i wrote this instead of sleeping #i'll actually turn this into a fleshed out fic i swear. i just happened to see a post talking about how a lot of fics make steve and robin #imcredibly codependent and started thinking about how i would handle that in my fic and decided to write out my ideas #i dont want it to come off as magically theyre perfect and okay. i think things would be messy in the beginning. and still a bit messy #even after bc theyre only human you know. i think having elder queers to talk to would be so important to them for helping them figure #things out you know #i think eddie and nancy wouldnt enter the picture until Steve and robin are 27/28 #im also still trying to figure out relationship dynamics bc the fruity 4 are in a polycule and how i think that would be for them #no matter which way you look at it the relationship between the 4 of them is inherently queer and thats beautiful #i hesitate to have eddie and nancy marry eachother in turn bc yknow heteronormativity #i think people assume theyre together and that eddie and nancy never confirm or deny why people make that assumption #but idk if they ever get married idk ill have to think about it #if you read this far in my tags feel free to hop in my dms and scream with me about this au #id love to have someone to bounce ideas off of #run away with me au #platonic stobbin #robin buckley #steve harrington #steddie #ronance #long post

[get-back-homeward]

Now and Then Day

This sideblog began after watching Get Back nagged and nagged at me until finally I started to look closer at context relative to the Beatles discography and suddenly started experiencing these WAIT WHAT moments every day as what I thought I knew got turned inside out. The appeal was in looking at something you knew like the back of your hand from another direction and seeing/hearing something new you hadn’t seen/heard before. But I had no idea we’d get another song to add to the mix in 2023.

I knew Now and Then day would be an experience. I thought I’d have to wait the whole day before listening. But I got lucky and found a few minutes to listen to Now and Then when it was first released this morning. And inexplicably clicked to hear the remastered Love Me Do instead. I cannot explain my brain.

I then tried to start Now and Then and noped out before 15 seconds in. Too overwhelming. Not the right time. I was too rushed and needed more space to mentally prepare for it.

I caught NPR covering the Now and Then release today on my drive home. They had a Lennon biographer (I didn’t catch the name) reviewing the song. He said the song recalls John’s more delicate tunes like Beautiful Boys (sic) and mentioned John started the song in 1970.

Say what?!

Here I was late last night trying to nail down a better date for John’s demo than “late 70s”. Meanwhile, biographers are just here on national public radio pushing lies. Did he have ChatGPT write his comments?

Oh yeah, they also said it was created with AI no qualifier.🤦‍♀️

They played a few snippets of the song including one new piece not in the doc but refrained from playing it in full. It was mostly wrong Beatles facts all segment.

Trying the song a second time hours later, I got through it in one piece but was feeling abit 🥴 about it as a song itself. Having just listened to the original demo was probably a mistake, and I could hear all the seams and feeling the Frankenstein song effect.

Third attempt sounded more together, with the seams not quite as noticeable. I was prepared for the changes, the layering bits from other songs, and noted highlights of the instrumentals: the strings, George’s guitar bits, and Ringo’s flourishes. I love Paul coming through on the future tense certainty of “I will love you” (is that I Will?). Ringo’s shimmering effect choice (is it tams?) is such an entrancing closer. Giles’ score and Beatles recycled bits do mend the seams well once I stop thinking about them too much.

On fourth listen, my biggest notes are questioning why Paul’s harmony with John isn’t more distinct. He shows a lot of restraint here but maybe too much? Did Get Back get to him in other ways than the most obvious? Is he just self-conscious about his own voice? Or is it the limitation of the tech when it comes to harmony mixing?

The strings were what I was most worried about, but their entrance at the 1:15 mark really kicks it up a notch to transition into the singalong. Other standouts are 1:40 with George’s flourish and 2:29 peak with the guitar solo.

Lyrically, it’s the conditional and if I make it through it’s all because of you that haunts in layers of meaning both grim and cathartic that reverberate through time and space.

If John makes it through emotionally to 1980 and has a comeback? Congrats, bud you did it. But he’s stopped physically through no fault of his own. There’s the obvious mourning of that lost potential even 40 years later.

If this song this voice this message of John’s makes it through to 2023 and reaches the public? Well, success there, Paul’s tenacity saw it through with help from many friends. John’s voice and song lives on through Paul’s wish to conjure him by his side. On the Day of the Dead no less. I was reminded of the concept of tulpas today and was knocked back on my heels by the thought.

If John as an artist and Beatles as a band make it through so fans are still listening in 2023? This doubles as a bit of a fan love letter, and thank you for 60 years. Released on the day Beatlemania first appeared in black and white.

But then there’s also a reflector on this. Some original Beatles fans have aged with Paul and Ringo and others have not and aren’t here to share this like John and George. There’s grief and mourning from those still here about those lost, and the song acts as a catharsis. A kind of thank you to the band for being there for fans in good times and bad. The symbiosis of fame between a band and its fans across the decades.

It’s a lot.

I spent some time looking at the youtube comments on the song. Some original fans but many second and even third generation fans. And quite a few stories about a loved one who loved the band and recently passed away like this one:

And this:

But also in there are stories of catharsis and healing.

And many memories of the joy that Beatles music has brought to people’s lives. We all have these stories of how their songs weave into our own life. But it’s the joy that I keep coming back to as the secret sauce to the band’s earliest days. I often think of those early songs more in terms of feeling then anything, and it starts with the first single.

I love the Love Me Do remastering. That harmonica sounds so crisp. The bluegrassy harmonies have never sounded better. The ones on ple-ee-ee-ease still give me chills. Ringo’s drums moved forward in the mix to appreciate that driving beat just a bit more. I can hear the bass too. I can’t wait to hear what the other early Red album tracks sound like.

But next to Now and Then, I’m also looking at the lyrics like I never did before. Why give it another glance? Written by a 16 year old kid, it always sounded a bit juvenile and simple. But suddenly next to Now and Then, there’s a weight to it I never heard before.

Love, love me do

You know I love you

I’ll always be true

So please, love me do

It sounds like a promise. Now and Then is fulfillment of that always. It’s no longer just the whim of a kid. But rather the beginning of 7 decade devotional: To John, to the band, to fans, and reflected back again. The love is reciprocal from all sides.

How’s that for a WAIT WHAT moment? Paul turning the least likely song inside out and backwards. And he didn’t even add a lyrical middle eight.

#my text #song reactions #had to write up today #overwhelmed #too many thoughts #not well organized but felt wrong to leave them to the tags #what a weird day #hesitating to tag it #now and then #dont mind me im still processing it #i still post on tumblr dot com like its lj 2008 #i used to do tv ep reactions but song reactions is a first #i probably missed some bits #waxing poetic about cassette tapes another day #conversations with ghosts #grief #a tag ive had here for over a year now that i swear i will do something with one day #someone mentioned hauntology and when i get a working brain again yes lets get on that #taking real love free as a bird and now and then together #for the record the moment that actually made me flat out sob today #t was the anthology youve got to hide your love away with john’s ‘ready macca?’ #sitting on a vidding project all year but that ones getting added

[snixx]

me when i default to a dramatically different handwriting for every separate subject i have but have my notes for all of them unseparated and encroaching into each other in the same notebook

#idek what my “”“real”“” handwriting is i swear im not the inconsistent mess i am intentionally #it's very random maybe it depends on the pen or the kind of material or smth? #anyway. wild #i think the closest to my “real” or most natural handwriting would be the top of the third last pic under the circuit diagram #if you go by median frequency #but i can never stick to one unless i consciously try #and there are so many more too it makes my stuff feel even more unorganized #i always used to be insecure about my sign because i still don't know how i can make it look the same every time #like i actually physically cannot #what happens when you're yelled at for your bad handwriting your whole childhood and change it based on whoever the new paradigm of good is #every year and they all kinda stick and mesh together #who tf knows man #girlblogging.pdf #im so jealous of people with a consistent signature writing #like i see it and know it's them

[deus-ex-mona]

yurusanta: the ✨gift✨ that keeps on ✨giving✨

#thank you cn lxl twt for your hard work #cn lxl twt: the only place with consistent high quality aiyuu fanart and the funniest of observations known to mankind #my birdsite dash is p much just ‘omg aiyuu necklaces’，[king yaoi (all 3 of them) lore]，[random fandom discourse]，’omg aiyuu necklace’ rn #that qrt i saw of the initial observation post with just the yurusanta lyrics made me laugh ngl #can’t believe we’re still getting samishigariya references in 2k24 though #maybe we’ll get to see them flirt in last stage??? i swear i’ll write an entire novel-length aiyuu fic if they become canon in last stage mv #yeah yeah tempting fate ikik they won’t become canon so easily anyway lmao <-has no faith in loserxloser #lxl is truly the only couple who could get married twice (nonfan and meoto) and still not be canon. smh. #at this point im just waiting for last stage mv so that i will finally have the motivation to update my kissmark tier list lmfao #i haven’t looked at it since the julieta album covers… hmmmmmm. maybe next week or the week after then #oh welllllll. time to go back to scrolling through king yaoi twts ig #i should really continue to read the o r v novel. why is yjh the og king yaoi when his ‘companion’ is the one who keyboard warriored for him #but mannnnnn. i also really wanna watch the final ll live dvd that came in a few days back… #so many things to do; so little time~~~~~~~~ #well. that sure went off-topic real quick. u m.

[dark-twist-fairytales]

So, something that would be funny:

Jay originally being the shortest ninja amongst them, but the snake transformation made him more and more taller, and when he came back to human, he was having to look down to Kai and realized 'oh, I'm tall'.

#ninjago headcanons #ninjago #jay walker #listen im in a shitposty mood while exhausted WHILE writing so- suffer with md #also NOT NORMAL ABOUT ZANE AND KAI STILL. I WILL NEVER BE FUCKING NORMAPLY ABOUT THEM #i need to put a swear warning on my blog-

[cerealmonster15]

dropping everything to look up zodiac compatibilities. for fictional characters. for fanfiction purposes.

#goood lord. i really am tired. i remembered caters aquarius but i had to look up trey #I KNOW TREYS SCORPIO. HE AND THE TWEELS SHARE W/ME I KNOW THAT ONE OUGHHHH ok anyway #since cater's best class is listed as astrology and he says it's fun to look at horoscopes or w/e i feel like i NEED to incorporate that #into the treycay im writing #i. dont know what im gonna do w/it but jfklsdjlfje #but omg: #'Scorpios tend to be more focused on emotional connections and intimacy' + #'Aquarius values their personal space and independence' hello thats so Them... #[scrolling down] 'scorpios can become possessive and jealous' that is NOT so them 😑 #however i can still use that lol #i want to have a scene of cater and trey lookin at their horoscopes or something #actually doesnt trey or maybe cater specifically have a line somewhere #about cater sometimes doing the fortune telling for trey for fun or practice?? am i making that up???? #i swear 2 god i thought trey had a line about it somewhere #but i have NO idea what context he'd be bringing it up 🤔 #or maybe cater said it idk #i know cater does bring up horoscopes in his own broomquet story w/floyd #HMMMM well i got distracted from this cosplay anyway bye #god why is it already 4:30pm i hate everything im so tired LOL

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#yet again i fail to convince my counselor i have executive function problems. mostly its bc i dont think well in the moment but also i just #feel kinda weird rn so i was having trouble making my thoughts connect. but i swear to christ i do have problems making my executives #function. i think the issue is im a grad student so i do well in school. not that it matters bc i kno loads of grad students with pretty #god awful adhd. one of my former lab mates was like. Adderall barely made her normal. and yet she was still a phd student #so like. its possible to have executive function issues as a grad student. the problem with me is the obsessive thoughts and self #destructive behavior so to her it sounds like im telling myself that i cant get my brain to work unless i put myself under extreme pressure #rather than i cant get my brain to work so to cope im putting myself under extreme pressure bc if i dont nothing gets done #but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry #and im not like not doing it bc i dont wanna. these things r causing me active distress but i cant flip the switch that makes them happen #ive gotta write a grant proposal. read a paper. and find a paper to discuss by tomorrow morning. i had time to do all of this before but i #didnt do it. y didnt i do it? fucking i dont kno. ugh. whatever. i got refered to a psychiatrist so well see what happens there #i did accidentally set the meeting to when i meet with my advisor tho. oops. also my counselor said it sounds like im a rat running on a #wheel. which is accurate but also a really fucking funny thing to have said abt u. ur r a scrawny neglected lil rat. boohoo. #idk what type of medication she thinks i should b on. like what symptom r we trying to exhaust? the 0cd or the mood issues? #i dont even kno what the issue is. not that i guess it matters. idk. i need to read and write. fucking hell #unrelated

[colorful-horses]

The more I think about High Guardian Spice, the more perplexed I become

#yea im still thinking about this show #i stand by my original stance that its definitely not the worst show ive ever seen #but it is one of the most generic/boring shows ive ever seen. which is subjectively worse #i swear to GOD i went into it wanting to like it. i wanted to like it so bad #but it feels like a parody. i almost feel bad trying to be critical of it because it feels so amateur #it feels like a show made by a close knit group of friends passionate about their ocs rather than a production by a full blown studio #i could write a whole novel on how bizarre of a watch this show is #not because of the content itself but just because like..... how did this happen #im someone who is very very VERY gentle on the media i watch. if it entertains me in any way then im willing to excuse the flaws #but i have seen HGS 2 times now and i just. i dont understandm i dont get it at all #i think i actually will take the plunge and attempt to make some sort of video essay about it #i cannot even begin to describe my thoughts about it here and do them justice #is it a show for kids? is it a show for adults? the show is just as confused about it as i am #sorry that this is all im talking about recently but like. i have never seen another show like this one in my LIFE #not art #the worst part is i dont even think i can call it 'wasted potential' because .... the show never introduces any unique themes or ideas #its just generic. beginning to end

[july-19th-club]

in the martell longcon there’s a post-battle scene where jon and tyrion are like we are going to drag this kid out riding if it takes us all year. and they haul bran’s old saddle out of storage where it somehow survived the past seven years’ worth of sacking and pillaging and dust it up and make some adjustments since he’s not a little kid anymore. and they bug and bother him to quit sitting by windows not talking to people except to give them ominous replies when they try to engage him in conversation. and they all three go down to the stables and go out for a ride. for jon and tyrion it is an enjoyable day off. for bran it is an exercise in trying his damnedest to pretend he’s above eavesdropping on them from where they’re chatting and riding a couple yards ahead to see whether or not they’re talking about him (they are). they have a little race to the treeline, which appears to be on the verge of a win in tyrion’s favor when suddenly bran comes out of nowhere and plows between them and they watch him galloping off up the road, kicking up a cloud of snow in their eyes and they look at each other and grin and when they catch up there’s a second before the smile drops off his face. it’s midmorning, the sun’s just coming through a low cloud layer and he hasn’t done anything like this in years and he forgot what it was like. he didn’t think he could forget what anything was like, and besides, all sensations are stored forever within easy reach, but a sensation remembered is not the same as a sensation in the moment and he has just felt the wind slapping his cheeks and the horse’s legs churning against the ground and the wild glass-clean scent of the snow and it takes him a second to stop smiling and that second is all it takes to give his brother the satisfaction of being right. very pointedly jon asks, and how did that feel? he says, you win. it felt. jon says it felt........? he says, it felt good. when they come back from riding the queen in the north hears them come into the courtyard and looks down to see all three chatting, voices rising easily and echoing off the stone, and she says nothing that evening at dinner and nothing the next day, but if the hallways are a little less steely, if the atmosphere is a little less thin, if her youngest sibling’s replies are a little less curt....she knows who to thank for it.

#im trying to clean out my drafts i swear to god i am there's 1320somethign of them its ridiculous #anyway here's a very old thing from when i was still entertaining the idea that id WRITE this as a fic #& not #a collection of disjointed and contextless posts #ive never seen game of thrones #q

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#fucking swear i hate my dad so much #I'll never forgive him for how he was when i was a child #and right when i was starting to see him as a decent dude #he goes and acts like a child #youre 54 years old and raising your voice at me when i did nothing wrong #his stupid ass was the one who cut the pvc pipe and he thinks me telling him how to properly fix it is me criticizing him #and i told him you want me to criticize you ? fine. why were you cutting below the water lines to the washer? #theres clearly an opening showing the pvc pipe and you were the one who cut there still knowing it was there so why did you do it ? #you want me to criticize ill fucking criticize #all he has to say while screaming at me like im the one who created the problem saying shut the fuck up an go to sleep i dont want you here #he gives a stupid bullshit fix for it talking about using glue 😮‍💨 like dude you need pvc primer and glue to seal it correctly not fucking #elmers glue and tape wtf i was giving him an actual real option to fix it and he cusses me out like im the one who cut the damn pipe #i tried writing in my journal but my hand keeps cramping up #i cant stand how much of a child he is #he has no emotional control he takes his anger out of my mom and i and i fucking hate having to be the one to back away and apologize #when its his fucking issue not mine he was the one raising his voice when all i did was give him sound advice to fixing the broken pvc pipe #and i get cussed at and screamed at being told im criticizing when all i did was offer a solution to his own fucking problem he made worse #on his own accord and now hes breaking shit and kicking doors and slamming them all the while cussing over something #that can be fixed its cool to be like fucking shit i fucked up and get that energy out but to fucking throw a temper tantrum and break stuff #is fucking ridiculous it fucking takes me back to my childhood and how fucking horrible he was to my sister and i.. #we walked on eggshells around him cause any little thing would make him erupt into anger and physical bouts... #lord forbid he has to do something around the house and he breaks something he will cuss and scream at us for no reason like we did it #but im in the one who has to apologize thats fucking bullshit #i really want to kill myself rn im so over the edge rn i just keep thinking of my mom and why i cant kill myself yet #not until she passes away i cant kill myself.. #i long for the day i die im so tired of living here

[skitskatdacat63]

And now I am officially done my study abroad :(((

#except all the writing i still havent done- SHHHHHHHHHH #but god i still cant believe i got to do both f1 events i set out to do! #i still havent posted pictures from either tho AAAAHHHHHHHHH #i swear to you i will!!! #every time i look at those pics of the red bull cars i still cant believe i saw them in person #this race wknd will be fun bcs ill get to watch it w both my dad and brother in person! #IM GONNA MISS VIENNA 😭😭😭 #oh public transportation how i will long for you #and also the extremely easy access to red bull #catie.rambling.txt

[hotmess-exe]

aight enough bragging about how my first stand up set was about breast cancer, time to write new stuff and get back on stage

#venues are... interesting here #i def want to perform in different environments #after scoping them out first lol #i think i know how to tweak myself for a vibe so hopefully i can do the same for my writing and delivery #hotmess #subjects on my mind currently are global politics #familial and generational trauma #pedestrian life #transitioning #and being poor and sick all the time #really wanna get some new material out of my system thank god i took notes in 101 #oh and being from the east coast in the rockies #y'all want me to fight here i swear to god #how am i tested THIS much more in a place where everyone puts on friendly fronts?? #jk i know why its the fakeness lol #how do i call a whole crowd of denverites fakes and terrible drivers while still winning them over... #that is the question but im kinda good at exactly that kind of thing lol

[moshieee]

Ew, essays :[

I miss the old days of kindergarten when we attempted to color butterflies and ate erasers and glue

-🎁

I hated kindergarten

Essays may suck but at least now I'm not the weird kid in the corner wishing I had friends

However yes I absolutely despise essays with all my being... in fact!

Achievement unlocked: you somehow found a topic moshie hates enough and on a bad day to start them ranting in the tags...

Warning there are curse words, poor spelling, and caps locks

Sorry in advance

#asks #off topic #seriously tho i hate essays so much #one of them is already 5 pages and thats just the rough draft #i better get a fucking high pass on that shit or i will scream #shes actually making us focus on out writing process and OH HO.HO BOY IS MINE A MESS #I SWEAR ITS LIKE TRYING TO MAKE A SKETCH BUT YOU KEEP PAINTING CERTAIN PARTS BECAUSE IT HAS TO LOOK NICE #ONLY TO RELIZE OH WAIT MAYBE THAT DOESN'T GO THERE AND I SHOULD ACTUALLY SHIFT IT AROUND #OR MAYBE I COULD SWAP THIS TOO BE THAT LOOKS AWFUL AND IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE TILL ITS A RIVER OF BLOOD AND PAINT #AND SHE WANTS TO SEE MY ROUGH DRAFT??? HONNEY YOU WOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE AT READING THE MARIO SUNSHINE SPEEDRUN CATEGORY BACKWARDS THEN #UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE FUCK IM TRYING TO WRITE ITS WHY I HAVE TO WRITE IT ALL IN ONE GO OTHERWISE I HAVE TO LOOK BACK AND UNDERSTAND WHAT #WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD WHILE LOOKING THROUGH THIS MESS!!! OOOHH WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO ORGANIZE THIS WELL SHIT THATS GOING TO TAKE EVEN #LONGER YOU ALREADY GOT ME WRITING WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME STOP MUCH LESS MAKE ME SWITCH SUBJECTS TO ANOTHER ESSAY HALF WAY THROUGH OH BU #AND GUESS WHAT!???? ONE PAGE! DOUBLE SPACE! AND IM NOT GOING TO GIVEN GIVE YOU A DIRECTION TO WRITE IN JUST ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT WE LEARNED #IN THESE LAST TWO WEEKS! TWO WEEKS FUCKING HELL DO YOU KNOW HOW INDECISIVE AND FORGETFUL I AM??? MUCH LESS THE FACT KTS ABOUT ETHNICS #I DIDNT EVEN EANT TO TAKE AN ETHNICS CLASS I WANTED ETHICS I FUCKING HATE EVERY SO MUCH RIGHT NOW #LIKE YEA SURE I KNOW THEY'RE IMPORTANT BUT I STILL HATE ESSAYS and j know my teachers are trying their best... #but jeese ethnics is such a difficult topic because on one had yea i relate to what these people are going through im part of the LGBT #are statistics are very similar but im also bery much a white person and not openly trans/non binary i dont want to look like some stuck up #white person going oooo look at the poor minorities i can TotAlLy relate and now im going to talk about me #because im genuinely scared of coming out idk whos accepting and whos not at least online im safe and can block people... #jeese im sorry for the rant i shouldn't have gone on that much less my art blog #this is supposed to be a positive blog but i just need to put this somewhere or i feel im going to cry out of frustration im sorry #rant post #system #oops moshie got emotional

[furashuban]

So at first I was struggling to plan out and find inspiration for fics I wanna write for Sketchbook Ship Week, and suddenly I remembered wait, I DO HAVE SOMETHING FUN AND PERFECT I COULD WORK ON FOR SKETCHBOOK SHIP WEEK

It's the perfect time for me to bring this AU back from the dead...

#bonnie talks #hilda #sketchbook ship #i swear i had other fics planned out for this AU but developng Creatures & Arrowwood ended up being my biggest priority and #-i kinda just lost time to continue this project im really sorry hhhhhh #but now thanks to sketchbook ship week i finally have a huge motivation and reason to write fics for a project i genuinely miss working on #-even if I intend for them to just be short drabbles/ficlets throughout the days i plan to participate in #As High As The Moon Above is still one of my proudest works and writing Johanna and Kaisa as childhood friends brings a lot of joy for me #so I really REALLY can't wait to revisit this project at last #and whether you've read and remembered As High As The Moon Above back then or this is your first time hearing about it #-i really hope y'all out there will be just as excited for this as i am #<333