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bannedfromtheaters · 4 years

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On Defusing Tension & Healing

So many takes have come across regarding the “holding grudges / poison” conversation between Jester and Beauregard. Adding my take to the pile seems like adding to the noise. But what I’ve missed so far in these discussions is the actions that Jester took towards Beauregard. Let me explain.

There was a tremendous tension in that room, I certainly felt it behind a laptop screen, I can’t even imagine how stiffening that tension must’ve felt like in the studio.

I’m familiar (like it seems, many in this community) with people/family implying all kind of ugly things while on the surface it appears like a ‘civil’ enough conversation. The conversation between Beau and Thoreau went nowhere. Beau couldn’t get out words, she was metaphorically held by the throat and with one off-remark, even the slightest suggestion, either Thoreau or Beau would’ve snapped and things would’ve gotten real ugly.

But here’s the twist that I’ve come to understand regarding my own baggage: neither person is going to snap. That’s the trap of it all. It’s like walking on a minefield, doing everything you can to avoid an explosion. “But I swear, if the other person does one misstep, I’ll be the one exploding! I’m not making that step, they have to do it!” And it never happens, so that tension remains.

And I saw that exact intricate and nauseating back and forth between Beau and Thoreau. They were dancing around each other, because they were communicating on different levels. That’s the whole thing. There would never come a satisfying conclusion to this conversation - Beau would probably either implode or explode if this would’ve gone on any longer.

So what does Jester do in this incredibly tense situation that is literally going nowhere? She defuses the tension by removing Beauregard from the conversation. Not to berate her or tell her her dad isn’t “as bad”, but to let Beau take a goddamn breath and give her the distance from her father she needs in this moment.

We can turn over every syllable that Jester says in that moment, but these moments go both so incredibly fast and so excruciatingly slow, that nobody will ever say the perfect thing. The only reason we can even do that is because this is all recorded. Most memories aren’t that good. Words slip, sentences get reconstructed. It’s what memories do.

What this little sidebar does - the action Jester takes - is remove Beau a bit from the situation, giving her the distance she needs. And what do you know? When Beau returns to the table, actual words manage to come out of her. Really good ones, might I add. About how much work and effort Beau has put into the past months of becoming a better person, of healing her old wounds. And how little she sees that being returned to her from her parents (which is true).

And to come back for just a bit to what was spoken by Jester. The exact quote is: “There is not a lot to be gained from holding grudges. Y’know? It feels like poison inside of you.” To me, the key word is ‘gain’. Because, nowhere does Jester even insinuate Beau should “forgive” her father. Just that if Beau keeps holding on to that inflicted pain, it can damage her real bad, and what she should do is heal from that pain instead.

Forgiveness is only insinuated because Beau asks how Jester forgave her father so quickly. But holding a grudge and forgiving are two different things. Hell, forgiving itself can be situational. As someone who had to step back from an emotionally abusive household more than 7 years ago, only now am I able to give this a place, and letting go of some grudges I’ve held for over 7 years.

And if you’re not in that place right now, I understand. I’ve been there too. But please understand that sometimes, letting go of a grudge is saying: “I understand now that your presence in my life is toxic to me. I wish all the mistakes you’ve done to me, will help you better navigate your future relationships. But this right here, our relationship, is too broken, too damaged, too mistrusting, to ever build up again.”

That’s at least how I (perhaps generously) interpreted the “poison” Jester mentioned. How can you heal, if that poison is still in your body? If your abusers are living rent-free in your own brain? Give yourself a breath. Remove yourself from the situation and give yourself time to reflect, and heal.

That’s what I saw in Jester’s actions: support, reassurance, understanding. Not once, not twice, but three times:

Before they went into the estate, telling Beau “whatever happens [your father] was an asshole” - not giving him an out-of-jail free ticket. Reassuring her that “Fuck ‘em. You got us. And we love you so much.”

Secondly, when Thoreau comes in and accuses Beau immediately, to which Beau rolls her water-y eyes and barely gets a word out. Jester lays a hand on Beau’s back and checks in, asking if Beau still wants them to stay, now that she’s come face to face with Thoreau. When Beau answers with ‘please’, Jester stays.

And then finally, Jester manages to step in and defuses that incredibly tense conversation, after which Beau manages to get out the words she wanted to get out all along and they manage to leave the estate in what is possibly one of the better outcomes of what could’ve happened.

I definitely think Jester made the right action, even if her words might not have perfectly fit the situation, as words tend to be.

Oh, and as a closing note: opening the can of worms how Jester wants everything to be perfect (like holding on the hope that her parents will get back together) is a whoooole different conversation, that I wouldn’t even be able to describe in a 25k thesis, and I’d much rather see played out through roleplaying anyway. In Laura Bailey we trust.

#critical role #beauregard lionett #jester lavorre #beaujester #cr spoilers #2x92 #my stuff #sometimes the acting is so good we forget it's all improv #and as organic as a real conversation #and when it's organic it's also messy

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lanseax · 4 years

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could you explain to me wtf critical role is cause i don’t understand the format or what it is but i’m intrigued by it

absolutely!

So Critical Role is a twitch live stream the typically happens every thirsday. It’s a game of Dungeons & Dragons played by various famous voice actors for example Laura Bailey, Matthew Mercer, Travis Willingham, etc.

It’s basically an improvised rpg. Matt Mercer has created a beautiful world called Exandria and the other 7 voice actors play characters within this world.

I don’t know how familiar you are with D&D so I’ll explain it a little bit. It’s an RPG style dice game. The Dungeon Master (in this case Matt) leads their players through a story which typically involves dungeon crawls with monsters and bad guys. Each player action will typically involve a dice roll to see whether they succeed or fail. This can be anything from picking a lock to deceiving an evil wizard.

I knew nothing about D&D going into Critical Role but it’s very easy to pick up if you just watch even one episode. I highly recommend it, the community is wonderful most of the time and you instantly fall in love with these characters and the world around them.

Campaign 1 is finished and on their Youtube, it has the more traditional Dungeons and Dragons experience, in that they fight actual dragons and go into progressively more difficult dungeons.

Campaign 2 is currently still in progress but you can watch Episode 1 to 112 (yes I know it sounds like a lot but these sessions fly by and you can completely lose yourself just watching them) on their Youtube. New Episodes air each Thursday.

I do really hope you check it out and give it a chance, it’s fantastic and completely changed my life.

#nox answers #anon #critical role

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dope-daggerx3 · 4 years

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People in this fandom can be the worst.

A lot of you took a genuinely amazing moment of tactical genius by Laura Bailey, and bogged it down with complaints that 'Marisha was gonna metagame, she should be shot' or 'Nott was gonna exacerbate the war, I hate her now' or 'Talisen was gonna interrupt Laura and make us miss her awesome move, he should die for it'.

Like first of all, it's a game.

Second of all, if you have every played this game you know that sometimes you don't catch yourself when you're about to metagame. You want your friends and family to have a good time playing, and you get caught up in everything, so you do things that you wouldn't normally do, like knock on the Hags door, or try to stop 'the thing' from happening to save your friend.

Third of all, we have all always known what Nott's goal has been, since like one of the first episodes. She told us that she needed to help Caleb to get stronger to help her, and then later she explained that she needed to change back into her Halfling form to go home to her family. We have been watching this character's arc for 93 episodes, and we know she will do anything to accomplish her goals. Not to mention on every Talks that Sam and Liam have ever been on, we know that they have said that they are Agents of Chaos, and something like fucking up their attempts to fix the war is right up their alley.

The growth with Nott, is that she didn't take the deal, the growth with Nott is that she went out to talk to her friends and tried to reason with herself that it wasn't something she could just do.

I know that we all have very strong feelings about this show, these characters, and this cast, but the disappointment and heartbreak that I experienced when I finished the episode and went on social media to geek out about Laura's epic move only to be greeted by hundreds of posts about how stupid Marisha is, or how awful Tal is, or how much everyone hates Nott now because of something she didn't even go through with, was disheartening at best.

We can obviously have discussions and feel things about what happens on CR, but Jesus guys, sometimes you make it no fun to be here.

#critical role #laura bailey #marisha ray #talisen jaffe #sam riegel #metagame #cr fandom #cr discord #cr2 #critical role campaign 2 #critical role spoilers #cr2 spoilers #cr2e93 #do better

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frosty-panpan · 4 years

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Ok but like, why did Jester want Beau to land bridal style in her arms? And then looked so disappointed when she skipped off of her hands instead. Why did she want to be the one to catch her?? The whole group knows that Beau is really good at climbing and she has done this many times. Laura Bailey please explain yourself 👀

#beaujester #cr #i read into that even befire the confession #but now I REALLY WANNA KNOW

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whalohs · 5 years

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i’ve put the entire conversation off for long enough. we’re going to talk about nott, her humor, and episode 50. i’ve seen a lot of really good posts the last few weeks that put it in ways i never could!! but this episode was a little new in terms of what sam did at the table, and i want to yell somewhere. so here we go. warning for length.

as always, my ask box & messages are wide open if you wanna talk about nonsense.

preface: a theory i like to subscribe to is something laura bailey taught me: no one can really be ‘out of character’ in fiction -- no person can always act according to expectations, so who’s to say that characters should? half the fun of fiction, especially in d&d, is exploring character traits and plots that you don’t normally see in reality. and if your character can be a little more human while doing so, then that makes your story that much better!

( what’s important is providing justification for why they acted the way they did; things start getting muddy when you do whatever you want without being able to explain yourself after word, imo!! )

“j weren’t you going to talk about nott” look this was important

so, here are some ways nott was hilarious this ep:

@ fjord: “... but my husband. we spent 3 months searching for your backstory”

@ caleb: “shut up” / “fuck you” / [ jokingly ] “your people did this”

@ spurt: “YES, MOMMY”

i’m still not sure if this episode was real, i’m forgetting half of it.

but while sam’s good at making light of heavy, tense situations with some really pointed humor that still manages to get us to laugh ( which i think helped all the jokes land ), nott’s humor is different.

her humor plays up how much of a goblin she is, how strange she is, how much she likes stealing or doesn’t like water or how “out of touch” she is with society in exandria ( eating babies, her relationship advice, etc ). these are quintessential nott the brave humor material, and while it’s still funny because there’s a new twist on it each episode, there’s definitely a pattern to it.

this isn’t to say that she lies back and takes every insult hurled at her, but how she tends to joke about herself, ftr!

also note how self-deprecating her humor is. i didn’t really notice until i started throwing this post together, but oh boy.

and then, episode 50 happened. take a second to read my list of nott jokes this episode, then come back.

her jokes were still made her at her expense / their current situation. but ( starting with “your people did this” to caleb ) this episode her jokes... stopped blaming herself? she started calling people out in ways that weren’t insulting, but were still much more bold than nott normally is.

like she made a mother joke literally after telling the entire party that she had a son.

i don’t know about you but i was absolutely appalled and losing it when she used “your people did this” on caleb again, or when she pretty much called fjord out the moment he jokingly asked to turn back. like holy shit nott?! you’re fuckin savage?!

she really lightened what could have been a tense mood instead of actively worrying about yeza ( having jester send a message every night probably helped! ). but her humor wasn’t about how much of a goblin she was, but instead it started pointing at the people in her party.

like, guys, she told caleb to shut up. she thinks caleb is the leader. but she told him to shut his mouth!!!

i love it, i love this.

was sam suddenly shitposting a lot more often? i mean, sure that could be it, but again i subscribe to the theory that being “out of character” isn’t... really a thing. the beauty of d&d is that everyone has to be constantly “on”, all the time! and while no one can do that perfectly for 4-5 hours straight every week without a script, i do love linking those grey areas back to big character moments.

so why did she do this?

i don’t think this is a sudden boost in nott’s confidence. it’s no secret she’s particularly happy with who she is now. she hasn’t suddenly accepted her goblin body over the course of 3 episodes.

so, what is it?

think about how much nott has had to tell the party. in tal’s words - the riegel shoe has dropped. the biggest part of nott’s backstory has been revealed to us, and nott doesn’t have much left to hide anymore. this is it. this is her big secret, the reason she needs caleb, why she hates goblins.

this isn’t to say everything is out there, because that’s something only sam and matt would know! but i do think her big picture is out there.

and with so little left to lose around the mighty nein, she almost has ... no choice but to get comfortable? she’s stuck with these people, who know why she’s a goblin, in a tunnel that goes straight into “enemy territory” in a couple of weeks. to rescue her husband. they’ve made it extremely clear they’re not leaving her despite all that’s on the line.

i don’t know if i’d go as far as to say this is nott’s “real” humor? but i do think it is a result of her becoming more comfortable with everyone else.

good old physical proximity coupled with some serious heart-to-heart, y’all.

for the record, i think there’s a difference between caring for the people around you ( which nott is good at ) and being comfortable around them ( which nott really started leaning into this episode ). it’s like how the closer you get with someone, the more you can push your boundaries on humor.

tl;dr what i’m trying to say is if nott wasn’t ride or die before, she’s definitely ride or die now. she trusts these people with the biggest secret she’s carried with her, and she really would want no one else to rescue her husband with her. she’s more comfortable with the mighty nein than she ever has been, and i’m so happy!!!

am i reading way too much into stupid jokes, i sure fuckin am.

#critical role #nott the brave #found family?#found family!!!#the mighty nein #meta meta meta #i think this is the biggest reach i've made #but it was fun despite it being absolutely ridiculous #but also im very tired and idk if this post makes sense #it may not make sense #someone yell at me if it doesn't make sense #i'm going to bed

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squiishiichaos · 5 years

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☕️ How do you feel about ffxv as a whole and the fact that nomura is doing his original version of it in kh?

Oh shit did you open up a can of worms with this. Might wanna prepare yourself for this, because it’s about to get a little rocky in here.

So, let’s start with FFXV.

I loved XV. I did. I really, wholeheartedly did. I bought the deluxe, special FFXV PS4 that came out with its release, and I am so happy I did, because XV was exactly the kind of Open World Final Fantasy I ever wanted. The main 4 were hysterical and their banter gives me life! I have to just stan the Chocobros as a whole because you can’t pick one but if I had to choose, Noctis, you can meet me in the back with the jukebox and they had enough development throughout the 15 chapters to feel real and whole, and yeah. Also, I played the various episodes that came out, and Ignis with his hair down almost killed me, along with Aranea being the biggest badass of all time in Episode Prompto.

Anyway, the ending is what Video Games need in this day and age. 4 adult men in their thirties talking about their feelings and crying it out the night before the biggest decision in their lives should be a staple in every single bachelor movie that ever comes out. I swear to the Cosmos, Vozora, this shit had me crying for the entirety of hours! When they replayed the convo from the beginning of the game, which I laughed at for like ten minutes straight, and Stand By Me started playing, I was lost to humanity. I don’t normally cry, but I had three different family members ask me if I was okay, and I had to explain, while ugly crying, that, yeah, I was fine, and I was just crying over four fictional characters. No big deal, mom, just excuse me while I create a river of emotions.

I also play Comrades, and I have to take a moment to say that whoever created Character Creation for that game deserves all the fucking love. Like, okay, I have a problem. Like a Laura Bailey level problem of spending six fucking hours creating characters in character creation, starting the game, hating them, and going back in for a second character like, “Maybe we’ll get it right this time!” Comrades was the first game where I was able to successfully create Bibi in a style that looked like her–short, stout, clothes, and all. The only other game to date where that has been possible is JumpForce, so, yeah.

Anyway, moving on! I FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART! Chocobos.

Look. I have a problem, okay? I know I have a problem. I just really love Chocobos. I wish chocobos were real. For my Birthday or some shit, one of my harem friends bought me the Anniversary Stuffed Chocobo that Square released, and yeah, I immediately named that bitch Boco and it has a throne in my closet that no one can ever remove it from. XV brought back the ability to not only train your chocobo and ride it through the depths of hell but also the ability to change its plumage?! ALSO ALSO ALSO, the CHOCOBOS ARE SO FUCKING CUTE?!?!?!?!?! FFXIV, they’re kinda…meh. But no, XV was like, HERE, HAVE THIS CUDDLY MOTHERFUCKER YOU JUST CAN”T HELP BUT WANT TO HUG AND SNUGGLE WITH, OH AND WATCH IT STEAL PROMPTO’S FOOD!!

I MEAN, LOOK AT IT, VOZORA! ARE YOU LOOKING?! DO YOU SEE WHAT i MEAN?!

All...my photos from that game…were of Chocobos. Every. Last. One. I cried…to Stand By Me…while Chocobos of varying shades…flowed down my screen…

I regret nothing.

Okay, so, real talk. When Verum Rex started, I thought Square had actually put a real game trailer into the game. Like, I was actually like, “okay, Square, that was a bold move, take my money again, why don’t you.” I was ready to quit out of KH3, go to the PS Store and buy it. 100%. No regrets. Then, I remembered Toy Story and I was like, oh, right, okay, thanks for trolling me, Nomura, you literal piece of shit.

Yozora is the best name in the world, fight me, and I’m glad he has white hair and a red eye. The dude with glasses is fucking hot as shit, and I hope we get to play in Verum Rex one day without Gundam battles. As for its source material, Versus XIII, umm, can I just say? Fuck you, Square. I loved Noctis as an emo Prince, but can you imagine his royal pain the ass as a fucking gangster? Ugghhhhhhhhhh Saying shit like, “nani gantsukettenda omae?” (what the fuck are you looking at, by the way) “Uzai,” as he just shoves a fucking gunblade through someone’s eye. Oh my god, all the possibilities. Sorry, I have a thing for morally questionable heroes

ANYWAY, in short hah, I was fine with seeing Versus XIII in KH3 because it fits into the plot better than most. If Cloud and Squall can fit into KH, so can a Noctis knockoff who looks like Sora and Riku’s love child. XV was amazing, and I recommend everyone play it, if for nothing else than random people not recognizing the Crown Prince of their own country while simultaneously commenting on how hot all your other party members are. Chocobos are the greatest creation ever invented. And flying cars are bullshit.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, I hope you have a lovely day.

Thanks for the ask! :D

#vozora #ffxv #chocobros #verum rex #kh3spoilers #i still play comrades by the way #and i still love xv #one day I'll even buy the royal edition #but not right now

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profeminist · 7 years

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The BIG list of free Feminist / Gender / Audiobooks by Women via Audible.com

Updated 4/23/17: Here is a masterlist of feminist books and books by or about women and the LGBTQIA+ community that are available for free with a trial signup to Audible.com. As I update the list over the coming week I’ll reflect the current date at the top of the list!

Through a current promotion, you can sign up for a free trial, cancel within 30 days and you get to keep the two books forever!

30 days of membership free, plus two free audiobooks that are yours forever.

1 credit a month after trial, good for any book regardless of price.

Exclusive members savings. Get 30% off any additional audiobooks.

Easy exchanges. Don’t love a book? Swap it for free, anytime. Seriously.

PLEASE REMEMBER: After 30 days it’s $14.95/month, so set yourself a calendar alert to cancel if you’re not interested in continuing. I don’t want anyone to get an unbudgeted $14.95 charge because they forgot to cancel!

Here’s the link: Audible Free Trial Digital Membership

AVAILABLE AUDIOBOOKS (updated 4/23/17)

Feminist Books

Margaret Atwood: The Handmaid’s Tale

Laura Bates: Everyday Sexism

Jessica Benett: Feminist Fight Club: An Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace

Susan Brownmiller: Femininity

Annie E. Clark and Andrea L. Pino: We Believe You: Survivors of Campus Sexual Assault Speak Out

Kira Cochrane: All the Rebel Women: The Rise of the Fourth Wave of Feminism

Angela Y. Davis: Freedom Is a Constant Struggle: Ferguson, Palestine, and the Foundations of a Movement

Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering: The Hunting Ground: The Inside Story of Sexual Assault on American College Campuses

Nora Ephron: Crazy Salad and Scribble, Scribble: Some Things About Women and Notes on Media

Nora Ephron: I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts On Being A Woman

Roxane Gay: Bad Feminist: Essays

Kate Harding: Asking for It: The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture - and What We Can Do About It

Jill Lepore: The Secret History of Wonder Woman

Ariel Levy: Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture

Audre Lorde: Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches

Catilin Moran: How to Be a Woman

Catilin Moran: How to Build a Girl

Caitlin Moran: Moranifesto

Kate Harding: Asking for It: The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture - and What We Can Do About It

Tamara Winfrey Harris: The Sisters Are Alright: Changing the Broken Narrative of Black Women in America

Jack Holland: A Brief History of Misogyny: the World’s Oldest Prejudice

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie : Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: We Should All Be Feminists

Peggy Orenstein: Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture

Peggy Orenstein: Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape

Tony Porter: Breaking Out of the “Man Box”: The Next Generation of Manhood

Phoebe Robinson: You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain

Sheryl Sandberg: Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

Sheryl Sandberg: Lean In for Graduates

Kate Schatz: Rad American Women A-Z: Rebels, Trailblazers, and Visionaries Who Shaped Our History…and Our Future!

Gloria Steinem:Moving Beyond Words: Essays on Age, Rage, Sex, Power, Money, Muscles: Breaking the Boundaries of Gender

Gloria Steinem:Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions

Rebecca Traister: All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation

Jessica Valenti: Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman’s Guide to Why Feminism Matters

Jessica Valenti: Sex Object: A Memoir

Jessica Valenti: The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women

Jessica Valenti: He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know

Lindy West: Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman

Naomi Wolf: The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women

Mary Wollstonecraft: A Vindication of the Rights of Woman

Malala Yousafzai: I Am Malala: How One Girl Stood Up for Education and Changed the World

Andi Zeisler: We Were Feminists Once: From Riot Grrrl to CoverGirl®, the Buying and Selling of a Political Movement

LGBTQIA+ Authors

Dorothy Allison: Bastard Out of Carolina: A Novel

James Baldwin: Notes of a Native Son

Alan Cummings: Not My Father’s Son: A Memoir

Ellen DeGeneres: Seriously … I’m Kidding

Ellen DeGeneres: The Funny Thing Is …

Jennifer Finney Boylan: She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders

Laura Jane Grace: Tranny; Confessions of Punk Rock’s Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout

Hannah Hart: Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded

Jazz Jennings: Being Jazz: My Life as a (Transgender) Teen

Janet Mock: Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More

Tig Notaro: I’m Just a Person

Funny Women

Samantha Bee: I Know I Am, But What Are You?

Carol Burnett: In Such Good Company: Eleven Years of Laughter, Mayhem, and Fun in the Sandbox

Carol Burnett: This Time Together: Laughter and Reflection

Ellen DeGeneres: Seriously … I’m Kidding

Felicia Day: You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)

Rachel Dratch: Girl Walks into a Bar…: Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle

Tina Fey, Bossypants

Miranda Hart: Is It Just Me?

Miranda Hart: Miranda Hart’s Joke Shop

Mindy Kaling: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

Mindy Kaling: Why Not Me?

Anna Kendrick: Scrappy Little Nobody

Jessi Klein: You’ll Grow Out of It

Jane Lynch: Happy Accidents

Tig Notaro: I’m Just a Person

Amy Poehler: Yes Please

Issa Rae: The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl

Sarah Silverman: The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee

Aisha Tyler: Self-Inflicted Wounds: Heartwarming Tales of Epic Humiliation

Betty White: If You Ask Me (And of Course You Won’t)

Betty White: Here We Go Again: My Life In Television

Rocking Women

Carrie Brownstein: Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl: A Memoir

Kim Gordon: Girl In a Band: A Memoir

Athletes & Coaches

Simone Biles: Courage to Soar: A Body in Motion, A Life in Balance

Tamika Catchings: Catch a Star: Shining through Adversity to Become a Champion

Gabrielle Douglas: Grace, Gold, and Glory My Leap of Faith

Laurie Hernandez: I Got This: To Gold and Beyond

Carli Lloyd: All Heart: My Dedication and Determination to Become One of Soccer’s Best

Pat Head Summitt: Sum It Up: A Thousand and Ninety-Eight Victories, a Couple of Irrelevant Losses, and a Life in Perspective

Abby Wambach: Forward: A Memoir

More Memoirs

Maya Angelou: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Drew Barrymore: Wildflower

Carrie Fisher: The Princess Diarist

Anne Frank: Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl

Ruth Bader Ginsburg: My Own Words

Diane Guerrero: In the Country We Love: My Family Divided

Taraji P. Henson: Around the Way Girl: A Memoir

Coretta Scott King: My Life, My Love, My Legacy

Zora Neale Hurston: Dust Tracks on a Road: An Autobiography

Angie Martinez: My Voice: A Memoir

Shonda Rhimes: Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

Robin Roberts: Everybody’s Got Something

Hillary Rodham Clinton: Living History

Hillary Rodham Clinton: Hard Choices

Sonia Sotomayor: My Beloved World

Gloria Steinem: My Life on the Road

Lindsey Stirling: The Only Pirate at the Party

Cheryl Strayed: Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail

Amy Tan: The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life

Elizabeth Warren: A Fighting Chance

Elizabeth Warren: This Fight Is Our Fight: The Battle to Save America’s Middle Class

Mara Wilson: Where Am I Now? True Stories of Girlhood and Accidental Fame

Novelists & Short Story Writers

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Americanah

Isabel Allende: The House of the Spirits: A Novel

Jane Austin: Pride and Prejudice

Lucia Berlin: A Manual for Cleaning Women: Selected Stories

Charlotte Bronte: Jane Eyre

Emily Bronte: Wuthering Heights

Kate Burton: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Octavia Butler: Parable of the Talents

Octavia Butler: Kindred

Octavia Butler: Parable of the Sower

Louise Erdrich: The Round House: A Novel

Cristina Garcia: Dreaming in Cuban

Nadia Hashimi: The Pearl That Broke Its Shell

Shirley Jackson: We Have Always Lived in the Castle

Maxine Hong Kingston: The Woman Warrior: Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts

Jhumpa Lahiri: Interpreter of Maladies

Doris Lessing: The Golden Notebook

Audre Lord: Zami: A New Spelling of My Name

Zora Neale Hurston: Their Eyes Were Watching God

Leslie Marmon Silko: Ceremony

Leslie Marmon Silko: Almanac of the Dead

Leslie Marmon Silko: Storyteller

Gloria Naylor: Women of Brewster Place

Gloria Naylor: Mama Day

Gloria Naylor: Bailey’s Café

Ann Patchett: Commonwealth

J.K. Rowling: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Zadie Smith: Swing Time

Amy Tan: The Joy Luck Club

Amy Tan: The Kitchen God’s Wife

Amy Tan: The Bonesetter’s Daughter

Angie Thomas: The Hate U Give

Toni Morrison: Home: A Novel

Toni Morrison: Sula

Toni Morrison: Song of Solomon

Toni Morrison: Beloved

Toni Morrison: The Bluest Eye

Toni Morrison: Sula

Ntozake Shange: For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf

Sarah Vowell: Unfamiliar Fishes

Alice Walker: The Color Purple

Virginia Woolf: Mrs. Dalloway

Virginia Woolf: To the Lighthouse

Virginia Woolf: The Waves

Virginia Woolf: A Room of One’s Own

Non-Fiction and Political Writers

Michelle Alexander: The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness

Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz: An Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States: Revisioning American History

Melissa V. Harris-Perry: Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America

Rachel Maddow: Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power

Reshma Saujani: Girls Who Code: Learn to Code and Change the World

Margot Lee Shetterly: Hidden Figures: The American Dream and the Untold Story of the Black Women Mathematicians Who Helped Win the Space Race

#feminist book #feminist books #feminist audiobook #feminist #feminism #feminist audiobooks #feminist writers #feminist authors #lgbt authors #lgbt writers #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtia+#free book #free books #free audiobook #free audiobooks

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terryblount · 5 years

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Former Bioware Lead Writer’s Next Game Is Chorus: An Adventure Musical

Former Bioware Lead Writer David Gaider has co-founded a new developer team in Australia with Liam Esler called Summerfall Studios. And their first game is called Chorus.

Chorus is described as an adventure musical. It’s an adventure game where you get to talk with characters and burst into a musical number. An interactive musical number.

You play as Grace, and somehow her band’s new singer suddenly dies at her apartment. Now you need to clear your name and prove yourself innocent. But the dead singer was also a Muse, and that power has transferred to you. With the power of singing, you can convince the person you’re talking to. It’s a tale of gods, but in a modern world.

Chorus has an all-star lineup. Gaider is writing it, Austin Wintory (Journey) is composing, Troy Baker acts as voice director with Laura Bailey in the leading role of Grace

Chorus is now on Fig, and has made a good trailer explaining how the game works, including the conversation system (it’s like a dialogue wheel of course), how traits will affect Grace, and a glimpse of how the musical is interactive. The music itself changes as you make decisions during the musical.

youtube

Oh, and there will be romance routes. Of course it would have one.

Summerfall Studios is expecting to raise $600,000 USD for the development of Chorus. You can have a look at their Fig page here.

Former Bioware Lead Writer’s Next Game Is Chorus: An Adventure Musical published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

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psychotherapyconsultants · 5 years

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The Different Things You’re Doing That Steal Time—And How to Stop

Many of us lament that we don’t have time for the things we’d like to do—catch a movie on a weeknight, take a fun dance class on a Saturday, start a creative project, go for a run, read, take a weekend getaway.

But the reality is that many of us are doing things we don’t actually need to be doing. And when we eliminate those things, space suddenly opens up, and we naturally create more time.

According to time management expert and bestselling author Laura Vanderkam, knowing what to eliminate can be tricky because “a lot of things that waste time don’t necessarily look like wasting time.”

“Most of us understand that spending 3 hours reading snarky comments on Twitter is not advancing us toward our larger goals,” said Vanderkam, author of the new book Juliet’s School of Possibilities: A Little Story About the Power of Priorities.

But what about email?

“I’d argue that responding to everything quickly wastes tons of time….Being ‘on top’ of email, rather than checking it a handful of times per day, cuts out space for all kinds of other more important things.”

Technology also can steal our time in other ways. Social media is a tired—but true!—example. As professional speaker and time management coach Jones Loflin noted, “‘Who hasn’t thought, ‘I’ll just check my ______ (insert any social media feed) for a minute,’ and then spent at least 15-20 minutes getting lost in the lives of others?”

Similarly, trying to have complex or difficult conversations over text can be incredibly inefficient—and “exacerbate the situation, increasing the frustration of everyone involved,” said Loflin, author of the book Juggling Elephants: An Easier Way to Get Your Most Important Things Done–Now!

“More time is taken trying to explain the misunderstanding you created earlier when a simple phone call or face-to-face interaction could have handled the situation much more quickly… and effectively.”

Housework is another example of a potential time waster. As Vanderkam said, the problem is that housework expands to fill in whatever available space we have. In other words, we can easily clean the whole day, because there’s always something to wash, wipe, organize, and tidy.

This doesn’t mean living in filth, Vanderkam said. “Rather than constantly picking up, designate a short amount of time to get the most obvious things done. If it doesn’t happen then, it wasn’t that important.”

Overthinking and over-researching also waste time, said Tonya Dalton, a productivity expert and founder of inkWELL Press. We can do over-do big decisions—like starting a business—or small decisions—like what pants to buy, she said.

Relationships can make or shrink time. That is, “strong, healthy relationships with friends and family give us the much needed mental and emotional energy we need to tackle the difficult things in our life,” Loflin said. However, when we spend too much time with toxic people—who drain us—the opposite happens: We don’t have any energy for ourselves.

Ultimately, because everyone is different, what constitutes as a time waster will vary according to each person. Which is why we asked experts to share how each of us can identify whether we’re focusing on tasks we don’t even need to be doing.

Revise your stories. One of the reasons we spend a lot of our time doing things we don’t necessarily need to be doing is because we construct our identities around these activities, according to Vanderkam, host of the time management-focused podcast Before Breakfast. We create and cling to stories that keep us shackled to certain tasks.

That is, you think to yourself, I’m the kind of person who has a tidy, sparkling clean home. I’m the kind of person who gets back to someone right away. I’m the kind of person who’s always available to others.

If you find yourself doing something that takes a lot of time, or is causing resentment and frustration, Vanderkam suggested exploring why you’re doing it. “If your answer takes the form of ‘well, everyone knows you have to…’ or ‘you can’t just…,’ then push a little harder. Do you know this is true? Can you find a counter-example?”

You also can consider the worst thing that could happen if you spend less time on that activity. Is that worst-case scenario even likely to happen? “Maybe, but often not,” Vanderkam said.

Ellen Faye, COC®, CPO ®, a productivity leadership coach, suggested exploring these additional questions: “Would anyone notice if I didn’t do [this task]? Is there an easier way to do it? Can someone else do it?”

When we challenge our stories, Vanderkam noted that we can free up a whole lot of time. As she said, no one is coming to your house at 11 p.m. to make sure you picked up all the toys before going to bed. “So go ahead and read a novel and then go to sleep.”

Focus on your feelings. Dalton stressed the importance of paying attention to your emotions and reactions after you complete certain activities.

She suggested asking yourself: “How do I feel when I’m finished with this activity? Do I feel happier and content, or do I feel frustrated and even irritable?”

Use tools to limit time. Use technology to your advantage. For instance, you can try the apps Moment and QualityTime “to monitor how long you are spending on different apps and even limit how many browser windows are open,” Dalton said.

As author Chris Bailey noted, we shouldn’t rely on self-control; rather, we should be strategic and intentional in creating a tangible plan that specifically targets common distractions that steal time—time that can be spent on meaningful activities.

Try the 80/20 rule. According to Faye, this rule entails getting 80 percent of the work done with 20 percent of the effort, and using 80 percent of your effort for the remaining 20 percent of work. She said it’s the same for time, because some tasks truly deserve excellence, while others are good with good enough.

“If my email responses were 100 percent excellent, I would do nothing else in my life but email. I make the 80 percent good and save a ton of time.”

Assess your day as a whole. In the evenings, Dalton spends several minutes examining how she worked toward her goals and how she felt about the activities she did throughout the day (along with a focus on gratitude). (You can do the same with this 5-minute exercise.)

Similarly, Loflin suggested coming up with your own list of simple questions to guide your choices throughout the day, an idea inspired by Marshall Goldsmith’s book Triggers. (An example is: “Did I do my best to read 20 minutes today?” he said.)

“At the end of day, you rate yourself on how well you did, and reflect on the choices you made that helped or hindered your ability to do it.” This gives you the opportunity to make adjustments the next day to make that activity happen.

Re-evaluate routines regularly. “So much changes in life and we don’t stop to consider how this impacts our routines,” said Faye, past president of the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals.

For instance, for years, Faye did her meal planning and grocery shopping on Sundays. “If I didn’t plan what I was going to cook, and have those ingredients in the house, dinner time would be a total time suck.” After Faye’s now adult sons moved out, it took her several years to change this habit, even though it was no longer helpful. “I kept buying for four when there was only two of us, and I was wasting a lot of food. Now it’s a much less formal process, and it’s just fine.”

Using your time well doesn’t mean hustling and grinding and accounting for every single minute. Rather, it means filling your days with the activities that you want to do, with the activities that are meaningful and fun and inspiring and enjoyable to you. As Dalton said, “productivity isn’t about doing more; it’s doing what’s most important.”

And we’re able to do that when we stop doing the things we don’t really need to do.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-different-things-youre-doing-that-steal-time-and-how-to-stop/

#World of Psychology

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positivepsychologyinterventions · 5 years

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The Different Things You’re Doing That Steal Time—And How to Stop

But the reality is that many of us are doing things we don’t actually need to be doing. And when we eliminate those things, space suddenly opens up, and we naturally create more time.

But what about email?

You also can consider the worst thing that could happen if you spend less time on that activity. Is that worst-case scenario even likely to happen? “Maybe, but often not,” Vanderkam said.

Focus on your feelings. Dalton stressed the importance of paying attention to your emotions and reactions after you complete certain activities.

She suggested asking yourself: “How do I feel when I’m finished with this activity? Do I feel happier and content, or do I feel frustrated and even irritable?”

“If my email responses were 100 percent excellent, I would do nothing else in my life but email. I make the 80 percent good and save a ton of time.”

And we’re able to do that when we stop doing the things we don’t really need to do.

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2WrZ4Gd via IFTTT

#IFTTT #World of Psychology

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mystlnewsonline · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://www.stl.news/jokes-selfies-kobe-bryant-oscar-nominees-lunch-2/81594/

jokes, and selfies with Kobe Bryant, at Oscar nominees lunch

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif/February 06, 2018(AP)(STL.News)— The Oscar nominees’ luncheon is like an exclusive clubhouse where every member is an outstanding artist and film super-fan.

So the production designer of “The Shape of Water” is free to geek out over meeting Mary J. Blige, who herself shared a moment with Gary Oldman.

Actress Sally Hawkins embraced Margot Robbie while Greta Gerwig chatted with Meryl Streep. Jordan Peele talked shop with Willem Dafoe. First-time acting nominees Daniel Kaluuya and Timothee Chalamet high-fived every time they saw each other.

Even nominees who couldn’t attend were there in spirit, or at least in cardboard-cutout form. Street artist JR brought a life-sized cardboard portrait of “Faces Places” co-director Agnes Varda. He brought the Varda cutout on the red carpet and into the risers for the annual Oscars “class photo.”

But the person perhaps enjoying the Oscar luncheon the most was retired Lakers star Kobe Bryant.

Nominated for his contributions to the animated short “Dear Basketball,” Bryant wore a beaming grin throughout the event, practically skipping his meal to pose for photos with his many fans in the room, including fellow nominees Allison Janney and “Logan” screenwriter James Mangold. Bryant said being in the Oscar mix is “better than all those championships put together.”

“I don’t know what’s going on!” the 39-year-old said, practically giggling. “I love this.”

An annual tradition since 1982, the Oscar nominees’ luncheon brings together the year’s nominated artists for a collegial meal, extended mingling and the group photo. This year’s event drew 170 of the 200 artists nominated.

Film academy president John Bailey explained the history of the film academy before telling nominees that they each embody “this 90-year academy history.” He dropped the words “envelope malfunction” in a passing reference to last year’s best picture flub, but more pointedly offered a new hashtag to replace #OscarsSoWhite, a criticism that inspired sweeping changes for greater inclusion in the film academy.

Bailey’s new hashtag: “Oscars so 90th.”

He said the academy reinventing itself in “this era of greater awareness and responsibility in balancing gender, race, ethnicity and religion.”

Addressing those issues and perhaps the #MeToo movement, Bailey said, “I may be a 75-year-old white male, but I’m every bit as gratified as the youngest of you here that the fossilized bedrock of many of Hollywood’s worst abuses are being jackhammered into oblivion.”

Actress Laura Dern called for greater compassion and representation throughout the industry. She then announced every nominee’s name as each took their places on risers for a group photo.

“Radicals, subversives and wild ones,” Dern said, “Thank you for getting us through this last year with every one of your films somehow reflecting the wealth of emotions that we are all going through.”

Telecast producers Jennifer Todd and Michael De Luca briefly greeted the nominees, with Todd saying, “It’s our honor to produce the show in a year where the nominations are finally starting to reflect the world that we live in and the way it looks, speaks and tells stories.”

Then they brought actor-comedian Patton Oswalt out to give eventual Oscar winners tips for delivering memorable acceptance speeches.

“They’ve spared every expense bringing me here,” he quipped.

His first tip? Hustle to the stage. “If you need something to speed you up, think of the hot, murderous glares of your colleagues on your back as you’re moving up there. Let it fuel you.”

He also put the kibosh on “trips and falls” on the way to claim an Oscar. “We know it’s adorable,” Oswalt said. “Jennifer owns it. That’s her thing now.”

Jennifer Lawrence famously fell on her way to accept the best actress Oscar for “Silver Linings Playbook” in 2013.

Tip two? Be concise. And don’t say you didn’t expect to win.

“Yes you did,” he said. “You were nominated.”

He also cautioned against thanking managers and agents. “Just cover for yourself, all right?” he said. “You don’t want to explain to your grandkids why you thanked someone that Dateline just did a four-part series on.”

He told nominees they don’t need to hunch over at the microphone.

“Think Freddie Mercury, not Tom Waits,” Oswalt said. “Look up and project.”

Finally, he said, “be heartfelt and be meaningful.

“And when I say that,” he said, “I mean act that way.”

By SANDY COHEN by Associated Press, published on STL.NEWS by St. Louis Media, LLC (US)

#Bailey #Basketball #John Bailey #Margot Robbie #Oscar

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the-record-columns · 6 years

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Nov. 22, 2017: Columns

A Thanksgiving Than You…

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

In last week's column, in which I wrote of the various items I might have taken to the Friends of the Library's Wilkes Antique Roadshow, I mentioned several pieces, including a beautiful Helene Curtis Empress Permanent Wave machine from about 1918. I was given this amazing piece of history by Arlene Staley of Arlene and Friends Hair Designs at Melody Square in North Wilkesboro.

I have been meaning to mention this machine earlier, but had not gotten around to it. However, because we are full-swing into the Thanksgiving and Christmas season, we get much more company at our offices of The Record and Thursday Printing than most other time of the year, and I have written often in this space that my visitors are very often the best part of my day.

Well, this past Friday evening was the North Wilkesboro Downtown Partnership's annual event, Light Up Downtown. We opened up our offices and our apartment upstairs for company, and had probably the most visitors at any Light Up event in years. We call our apartment The Mayflower, named for the last business which occupied the space, The Mayflower Beauty Shop, and the front door still proudly displays the name, yea these 50 years since it closed.

I will now tie all this together by reminding you that there is a story which goes along with almost everything that makes up the "poor man's museum" which our offices have become. That 100 year-old permanent wave machine almost looks scary to one who has no idea what it is for, and it often catches the eye of young and old alike, as they make their way though out office. When that happens, if time and circumstances allow, I tell them a short story.

Being my mother Cary's baby boy, I went wherever she went. One day, I found us climbing up the 26 steps to the Mayflower Beauty Shop on B Street (now Main) in North Wilkesboro. "What are we doing here?" I queried. "I am going to get my hair done; a permanent." she replied.

Up the steps we went and, sure enough, it looked as though they were going to blast her off into outer space by the time they got all those curler things rolled onto her hair. I was almost scared for her, but she was pleased with the results and that was good enough for me.

In no time, or so it seemed, we were climbing those same steps again. We had basically the same conversation ending in, "I'm going to get a permanent." When I protested that she had just gotten one, she assured me that it was time for another. "Then it's not very permanent, is it?" I said. My mother got tickled, and, before she could explain that your hair grows out and such, I said to her, "Looks to me like they should call it a 'temporary.'" She was still laughing as we made our way into the Mayflower Beauty Shop.

My mother Cary never drove a car. In her later years, when my father could no longer drive, she would periodically call me to take her to the beauty parlor, always remarking that she was in need of another "temporary," as she called getting her hair done for the rest of her life.

And that, quite often, is one of the pleasures I get from the collection of old, odd, and eclectic things that make up the "decoration" in my office. My parents have been gone for 22 years this past spring, and I simply have no words to tell you how much I miss them. Also, most of their contemporaries are long gone, so any chance to remember them and share a story

about them is priceless to me.

So, among the many, many things I have to be thankful for during this week of Thanksgiving, one of them is always going to be my company. Because these people so often, without ever having any idea that they have done so, bring a special memory of my parents to mind, and ever so politely allow me to share it with them.

It instantly makes their random visit the best part of my day.

Another note on last week's column: For the Wilkes Antique Roadshow, I chose to take an absolutely gorgeous 1880 oak portable toilet, cleverly designed to look like an end table, and suitable for the finest bedroom décor. I was confident it would be the hit of the show. I was wrong. No one gushed to me about how great it was, and the appraiser, Mr. Schweikert, spent about 30 seconds telling me it was in good shape for what it was, and he then priced it at about half what I had in it. I suppose it remains a good thing that I buy things to keep, and not to sell. And, the last note: I have already picked out the piece to take next years event, and I can guarantee that this one will be the hit of the show. Me and Pearl Bailey both say so.

Truly thankful on Thanksgiving

By LAURA WELBORN

While it is easy to get ready for Thanksgiving and to remember to be thankful, how do we continue this mind altering practice?

One way is to write down five things we are grateful for each day, by breaking it down into smaller pieces we can look closer at our lives and the small things to be grateful for. Do this at night before you go to bed- this is important for several reasons the most important is that this is what you will have on your mind as you sleep.

Too often I read a murder and mayhem book or watch a scary movie before bed and I have bad dreams all night. This helps wire your brain in a positive mode. Then the next morning when you wake up read the five things you wrote down, and it will start your day in a positive direction. I think the practice of children saying their prayers before bed is a wonderful mindful practice tradition that we should carry over even after children are grown.

Then there are the times of crisis in health and situations where being thankful seems more than we can bear.

Still do it.

Make yourself do it even though it may seem cheesy. Keep this in a journal so you can go back and look at what you were thankful for, or as a legacy of gratitude when you are gone. And if you look back and see the dates of when you were in tough times and yet still found something to be grateful for - it can inspire you to just how resilient you were. This small practice actually helps the brain develop resiliency and the ability to overcome tragedy. When your brain reads the words you wrote down the day before it releases serotonin -- which is like an antidepressant medication.

Praying for others has this same effect, the release of serotonin (the feel good hormone) I try and write gratitude Christmas cards where I write why I am thankful for that person. This really helps me get into the Christmas spirit and gives me a boost of serotonin, plus passes on a happy thought to another person. I think of it as the next step after Thanksgiving towards Christmas. Gift giving is thinking about another person and intentionally thanking them.

One more thought.

On Nov. 7, we lost Eric Payne- longtime friend of many and strong supporter of Wilkes Heritage Museum. My memories of Eric brings me a smile with his hats to fit all occasions and playing his accordion New Years Eve. My favorite memory of Eric was this past fourth of July. Eric had finished several rounds of chemotherapy but his spirits were high and he rode in the parade in an antique fire engine with his friend, Tom Graves. Tom and Eric joined us on the deck at our apartment to watch the fireworks and when I asked him if he enjoyed riding in the parade he said, "I had the time of my life." He then smiled and was one of the loudest to ooh and aah over the fireworks. I will always keep this memory close to my heart and remember to see each experience as "the time of my life" being thankful in the moment as Eric was.

“Oh, the Humanity”

By HEATHER DEAN Reporter/Photojournalist

It's always a hard thing to lay a dear friend to rest, especially one who has fought the battle with cancer.

Cancer sucks. So does Dementia, Alzheimer's, Lou Gehrig's disease, and a thousand other ailments that we watch our fellow humans suffer with everyday.

Funerals are never an easy thing to attend. But you know what I love about funerals? It brings together people that I would have otherwise never met, get to meet someone that loved and adored this person, and hear things about them that I would have never known. It bonds people in a way that we could never be in life.

This was the case at St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Wilkesboro on Saturday, at the funeral of Eric Payne, as I listened to one of his school chum's reminisce.

This man and I had never met, but he echoed in his sentiments of the sweet soul that I knew Eric to be. For instance, it's hard to imagine Eric Payne ever being mad. And his school chum said he had never seen Eric mad, except once when someone was cruel to his dog. Eric loved his dogs.

I've had the privilege to get to know and adore both Marilyn and Eric in the past several years, what with the historical Ghost Tours and Wilkes Heritage Museum goings on. I want to share with you my favorite story that Eric told me about he and Marilyn's marriage.

Eric had said that they had never really had a fight; that in fact, whenever a quarrel did arise, the three words that would stop the discussion immediately and have them both in a fit of giggles was "Oh! The humanity!"

He told me it started when he and Marilyn were watching a documentary about the Hindenburg.

"You can hear the news announcer live on radio giving details of everything that was transpiring. And then the newscaster exclaims "Oh! The humanity!!"

"And we've used it ever since to diffuse whatever quarrel was arising."

Maybe it gave them perspective- whatever was going on, it's not as terrible as being blown up in a blimp.

Maybe it was their secret code, as most married couples have, for "you irk the crap out of me sometimes, but I love you more than life."

Maybe it will just be something that the two of them shared, like no one else can, who knows?

What I do know, is that when I think of my friend Eric, I will forever remember the smile on his face, especially when he looked at his wife, his family, his friends, pat his chest and say "Boy, now this is the life right here."

I'll miss that man and his accordion.

RIP

Eric Payne

July 26, 1942-November 7, 2017

Heather Dean is a theatre major working in jouralism. She keeps pinky promises, and never turns down shenanigans. You can reach her at [email protected]

Best friends

By EARL COX

Since its reemergence as a nation in 1948, Israel has suffered opposition on nearly every possible level. It has been attacked repeatedly in the military arena by its Arab neighbors, in the public relations arena by the world media, in the political and diplomatic arenas by the United Nations and the European Union, and in the religious arena by mainstream Christians and their Replacement Theologians.

In recent years, however, a groundswell of support for Israel has arisen, creating a new and powerful friend for Israel in the form of Evangelical Christians. From all over the world these Evangelical Christian believers, including many Americans, are proud to be labeled as "Christian Zionists."

They use their political, financial and spiritual leverage to help Israel withstand whatever attack might come next.

Without the Evangelical Christian community standing in the breach with both prayer and action, the United States may have entered a free-fall in its foreign policy that would have ended in a far more hostile environment for Israel.

The Obama White House encouraged, aided and facilitated the destabilization of the Middle East, as evidenced by its use of either diplomatic or military assets (or both) in Libya, Yemen, Tunisia, Egypt and Syria. Amidst all the political and social upheaval in the name of democracy, the result was the elevation of Islam, Islamic-centered constitutions, and Islamists being "elected."

The longstanding tradition of the US being Israel's closest ally was arguably dismantled by the previous U.S. administration through positions and policies detrimental to Israel. While the Trump White House is working to reverse this, there has always been one ally that has remained steadfast to Israel … the Evangelical Christian.

In America, many members of Congress and the Senate, various pro-Israel Christian organizations, conservative Christian media and Evangelical Christians in positions of influence are working to help guide the policies of this current administration as they relate to Israel ending the "blackmail foreign policy" of the Obama administration. Remember the remarks of former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel (who is the current Mayor of Chicago)? Rahm Emanuel sought to tie the US pressure against Iran's nuclear program to an Israeli unilateral land-for-peace giveaway. This "blackmail foreign policy" may have been far more severe if those remarks, said behind closed doors, had not been widely reported. Evangelical Christians shout the loudest about the lack of balance toward Israel at the United Nations, in the media and on college campuses where anti-Semitism and BDS cmapaigns are on the rise.

Israel is one issue that energizes Evangelical Christians. As events in the Middle East continue to spiral out of control, Evangelical Christians are a valuable asset for Israel. It is this courageous and vocal group that makes up the hedge and stands in the gap for the nation of Israel and the Jewish people.

Many people will remember back when Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu himself acknowledged that Evangelical Christians are "Israel's greatest friends." A few years back speaking to a large group of Christians in Washington D.C., Prime Minister Netanyahu said, "Israel has very few friends, and these Evangelical Christian leaders are the best friends that Israel has in all the world." This sentiment is something which he has reiterated numerous times since.

Many Evangelical Christian organizations in Israel, with support from Evangelical Christians around the world, are providing food and other assistance to thousands of Israeli immigrants and poor families. Others have provided portable concrete bomb shelters to protect Israeli residents living along the borders with Gaza and Lebanon. Christian radio and television networks in America are broadcasting Israel's message around the world. Millions of Evangelical Christians are proud to be considered Israel's best friends and supporters.

They are not ashamed to speak out against the pro-Muslim and pro-Arab agendas of anti-Semitic hate groups. These same Evangelical Christians are hard at work helping to pass pro-Israel legislation at the local and state levels as well as influence policy at the national level.

The God of Israel does not need anyone to support Israel, but He tends to work through the hands, hearts and voices of men and women who seek to serve Him. One voice Israel can count on is the heart-felt cry of the Evangelical Christian, who stands with the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob who happens to love Israel and the Jewish people whom He calls the 'apple of His eye.'

A Lamb, a turkey, and Dressing

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

The Thanksgiving season is filled with traditions that celebrate family, food and a grateful heart.

If you close your eyes and imagine the perfect Thanksgiving gathering, chances are you will see family and friends gathered around the table with a grand meal featuring a beautifully prepared turkey. There will be a wide variety of side dishes with a generous offering of dressings and gravy.

Everyone has their favorite side dish. I posted the question to our Facebook followers. What is your favorite side dish for the Thanksgiving meal? Variations of dressing or stuffing with gravy or cranberry sauce were by far at the top of the list.

Here are a few other favorite sides, Lynn Akers likes corn casserole, Robin Brueckmann has Mennonite heritage and enjoys corn pudding and shoofly pie. Karen Goodsell enjoys her grandmother’s recipe for Squash Casserole. Laura Crews is crazy about roasted Brussel sprouts with lemon pepper seasoning. Ann Graves is wild about Minnesota wild rise. Terri Reid enjoys a good Waldorf salad with her turkey. Micheal Nelson likes Strawberry salad. Bill Evans loves fresh turnip greens, and Vivian Hopkins likes Cranberry Salad. Dena Burton-Claus loves her dad’s creamy, flavorful mashed potatoes.

The last Thursday in November is our National Day to gather, be grateful, eat, play and for many get ready for the excitement Back Friday. We do this every year, and in great part we have the author of Mary Had a Little Lamb to thank for the holiday tradition that brings so much joy. The story goes like this. Sarah Josepha Hale was a widowed mother of five children; she was a poet, writer, and editor.

Sarah became the literary editor of Godey’s Ladies Book, which became the most read magazine of the 19th century and it would be this platform that would give great momentum to her big project, which was to establish an annual day of Thanksgiving nationwide. On October 3, 1789, President George Washington proclaimed November 26th 1789 as a day of Thanksgiving for that year.

Sarah believed that America would be well served to have a set day every year to celebrate our great American Festival of Thanksgiving and for many years she would write letters to political leaders including five U.S. Presidents for this cause. It would be her letter written to President Abraham Lincoln on September 28, 1863, that yield the favorable response she was seeking. On October 3, 1863, President Lincoln’s Thanksgiving Proclamation was signed. There would be other Presidential Proclamations signed. However, it was this one that set the stage for many of the Thanksgiving traditions and foods we celebrate with today.

It is not in doubt that there was an event at Plymouth in 1621 where various people gathered for a meal and prayerful Thanksgiving. There are other recorded dates on which various forms of Thanksgiving was celebrated.

The story of Sarah Josepha Hale is one for which we can be thankful. Sarah married David Hale, and for nine years they dedicated two hours, a day to study, and it was during this time that Sarah would gain confidence in the power of her mind. David died of a stroke, and Sarah became a widowed mother of five. Little did Sarah know that she would make a difference in the lives of three hundred million Americans. Mary’s Little Lamb would bring joy to countless children around the world and the turkey, dressing and all the other delightful sides and other traditions would give us all something to celebrate.

In our collage, President Lincoln is portrayed by our friend Authur Lightbody from Waxhaw NC. Photo credit: Titus Lightbody.

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Jokes, and selfies with Kobe Bryant, at Oscar nominees lunch

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. /February 5, 2018 (AP)(STL.News) — The Oscar nominees’ luncheon is like an exclusive clubhouse where every member is an outstanding artist and film super-fan.

So the production designer of “The Shape of Water” is free to geek out over meeting Mary J. Blige, who herself shared a moment with Gary Oldman.

But the person perhaps enjoying the Oscar luncheon the most was retired Lakers star Kobe Bryant. Nominated for his contributions to the animated short “Dear Basketball,” Bryant wore a beaming grin throughout the event, practically skipping his meal to pose for photos with his many fans in the room, including fellow nominees Allison Janney and “Logan” screenwriter James Mangold. Bryant said being in the Oscar mix is “better than all those championships put together.”