#MARTIN IS A SHARK ENTHUSIAST | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smallmediumproblems · 4 years

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Summary: The Magnus Institute budget waits for no eldritch entity, and there are only two archival staff with enough patience left to answer Elias' questions.

Note: I missed the deadline to submit this to a contest ages ago, and kinda forgot about it...? but, it’s finished now, so, here y’go! Takes place sometime mid-season-3.

. . .

BASIRA: Do you think he's going to notice?

MARTIN (tense): I think there's not a whole lot we can do if he does. Not much he can do to us, either. I mean, who else is willing to put up with paperwork for him?

BASIRA: I'm a little surprised he still trusts you. With anything.

MARTIN (more tense, looking for an excuse to lash out): It's almost like I try to be helpful and cooperative all the time so people know they can rely on me.

BASIRA (not sure about the method, but approves of the results): Huh. Sneaky.

MARTIN (has snapped): Nothing about this is sneaky! We're literally asking him to finance his own-

MARTIN (CONT'D, lowers his voice, reminds himself that they’re not supposed to talk about Secret Plans): You know.

BASIRA: Fun, right?

MARTIN: You're totally sure we got everything on the list?

BASIRA: I checked with Daisy just this morning. She’s not happy about it, but she was very thorough. Melanie's, erm, needs , are pretty straightforward. Tim is being actively unhelpful.

MARTIN: He seemed pretty enthusiastic.

BASIRA: Doesn’t make him helpful. Anyway, you said it yourself. It’s too late to worry about it now. What’s the worst he’s gonna do to us for a little light subterfuge?

[Cut to several minutes later. BASIRA and MARTIN are sitting in ELIAS' office. BASIRA has her game face on, and her confidence is infectious. MARTIN has calmed down a bit. But only a bit.]

ELIAS: First and foremost, I’d like to thank you for meeting with me today. I know that our working relationship is a bit… strained, at the moment, and I appreciate the degree of professionalism this demonstrates in both of you.

MARTIN: That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

BASIRA: I just didn't want to leave him alone with you.

ELIAS: I believe you two were in charge of drafting the archive’s most recent budget request, is that correct?

BASIRA: That’s right.

ELIAS: I had some concerns to discuss with you before I filed everything.

BASIRA (somewhat defensive): This is the pared down version. We had to make some hard choices for what to cut.

ELIAS: I would be interested to hear what you decided to forego in favor of…

[Very brief beat as ELIAS flips through the budget, which he has printed out for the express purpose of quoting at them disapprovingly]

ELIAS (CONT’D): ...four dozen assorted hunting knives.

MARTIN: Mostly, it was just more knives.

BASIRA: Daisy goes through them pretty quickly these days. We figured it might be good to have a few stashed around the archive. For safety.

ELIAS: I hardly feel safe giving you easy access to weaponry, considering Melanie’s new hobby. Not to mention your collective history of emotional outbursts.

BASIRA (trying to pretend that she cares, not trying very hard): Oh, your safety. Yeah, that makes sense.

ELIAS: On the subject of safety, I see that you've opted to restock with what I can only call an excess of fire extinguishers. Hardly necessary now that Jane Prentiss is deceased, but I understand your concern.

MARTIN (eagerly): No, you’d think that, but they’re really good for a lot of things. I mean, we ARE dealing with a fire cult. The archive’s enough of a hazard already. Loose paper, old electrical sockets...

BASIRA (supportive): They’re great for self-defense.

ELIAS: I suppose it is a better alternative to knives.

ELIAS (CONT’D, continuing to flip through papers): Speaking of excess, you appear to have ordered twice as many supplies as you normally need for the breakroom. Would you care to explain why?

MARTIN: We’re not the ones who hired a bunch more people. We barely had enough for four of us, and now we've got five! Six if you count Daisy. She’s mostly in and out, but I’m not going to tell her she can’t have a cup of tea while she’s waiting for Basira.

ELIAS: You’re certain it has nothing to do with stocking a second meeting space that you’ve decided to assemble at without my knowledge?

MARTIN (carefully): ...no?

BASIRA (more casually; no plans here, Vader, just a diplomatic mission to Alderaan): Sounds kind of far-fetched.

MARTIN (deciding to roll with it): Should we do that? It could be a good team-builder.

ELIAS: My main concern is that you’ve listed a frozen margarita machine among the requested furnishings.

MARTIN (oh! that’s all it was): Oh-

BASIRA (to Martin, confused but not upset): I thought you took that out.

MARTIN (annoyed): Tim must have snuck it back in. That- that’s an honest mistake, we didn’t mean to submit that.

ELIAS: Then we’re in agreement that it doesn’t constitute a reasonable business expense?

[MARTIN makes a doubtful noise.]

BASIRA (also doubtful): I mean...

MARTIN: I wouldn't say that.

BASIRA: Have you talked to Tim lately?

ELIAS: Hmm. Point taken. Still, I can't spend Institute funds on it in good conscience.

[ELIAS scratches out the line item and continues to page through the budget intermittently as he talks.]

ELIAS (CONT'D): Let's move on to some of the miscellanea. Cassette tapes are entirely understandable, but are you certain you need this many?

BASIRA: The tape recorders follow Jon around, yeah? I figure, if he doesn’t come back, they’re going to stop showing up on their own. We need to plan ahead.

MARTIN (angrily; clearly they have argued about this before.): That is not why.

BASIRA (conceding, more amused than apologetic): And it makes more sense for each of us to have our own supply instead of ransacking Jon's office whenever we run out. That’s what Martin keeps telling me.

MARTIN: She won't stop stealing his pens!

BASIRA (frustrated. This is also something they've argued about before.): I need them. You never gave me any office supplies.

MARTIN: You were supposed to put that in with the budget.

BASIRA: Hard choices, Martin. This was one of them.

ELIAS: Is that why you’ve ordered nearly a gross of glow sticks?

BASIRA: Oh, no. That’s for research.

[Beat as ELIAS waits for BASIRA to elaborate. She does not.]

ELIAS (forcing a patient tone): What kind of research?

BASIRA (condescending, as if this should be obvious): Spooky research.

BASIRA (CONT’D): I’m not convinced the People’s Church is as dormant as we thought. I’m toying around with defensive strategies- redundant light sources, stuff like that.

MARTIN: It’s been very festive!

ELIAS: Would that also explain the assorted sports equipment?

BASIRA (it would not): Research.

ELIAS: The smart-home device and speaker system.

BASIRA (definitely not research): Research.

ELIAS: And is this a miniature zeppelin?

MARTIN (pleased with himself for contributing): Ooh, that one's me. Er, yeah. Research.

ELIAS: Is it meant to resemble a shark?

MARTIN (yes, it is): I… hadn't noticed.

ELIAS: What about the petrol?

BASIRA (Smugly. She knows that ELIAS knows exactly what she wants to use petrol for.): Definitely research.

ELIAS: I think not. I already cannot trust you with sharp objects. I don’t see how accelerants are a possibility.

MARTIN: We did also ask for a lot of fire extinguishers. You've got to look at the whole thing in context. There's a system here.

ELIAS (crossing out several lines): Regardless. That will also not be making the final list. One other item in particular drew my attention simply because of the price. What do you need a GPS tracker for?

BASIRA (immediately): Jon.

MARTIN (disappointed): Yeah.

ELIAS: Out of the question.

MARTIN: What if he goes missing again?

ELIAS: A tracker is an optimistic but unfeasible solution. The things that have an interest in Jon are likely to take him somewhere he cannot be tracked.

BASIRA: Plan A was to give him a bunch of knives, but you shot that one down.

ELIAS: In any case, the only way this would work is if he wore it every minute he was outside the Institute. Don’t you think that’s a bit invasive of his privacy?

[MARTIN begins trying not to laugh, and is quite unable to do anything else for a few seconds as the conversation continues.]

ELIAS (icy): Something you'd like to share with us?

MARTIN: I’m sorry, I- I can’t tell if you’re being serious.

BASIRA (trying to ignore him): We did talk to Jon about it. It’s not like we were going to stalk him.

MARTIN (would be sarcastic if he wasn’t still laughing): Who would do such a thing?

ELIAS: Do we need to postpone this?

MARTIN (managing to calm down): Nope, yep. I’m good. Hmmmmmkay. Where- where were we?

ELIAS: I believe we were at the start of a very serious human resources inquiry.

MARTIN (feigning interest): Ohh! Whose is that?

BASIRA (tired): GPS unit is a no, that’s fine. I’ll get him one of those kid-leashes out of pocket. Elias, was there anything else?

ELIAS: The rest of the budget looks to be in order. If I could discuss one other issue with you, I have some similar concerns with your reimbursement requests. I take it this list is similarly ‘pared down’?

BASIRA: Yeah, I didn’t do that.

MARTIN (alarmed): What?!

BASIRA (unmoved): Yep. Just put everything in a list and printed it out.

MARTIN (rapidly cycling through the five stages of grief): Why??

BASIRA: Because we all have massively more important things to do.

ELIAS: Perhaps if you had taken the time to edit the list, this meeting would have been much shorter.

BASIRA (smug that she’s managed to make this ELIAS’ problem, not hers): Misery loves company.

ELIAS: Indeed. You mentioned Tim’s instability earlier. He’s put down several months of a gym membership and listed the explanation as ‘vengeance’.

MARTIN (uncomfortable, unhappy about TIM’s state in general but unwilling to show it here, of all places): Yeah, that’s… been a thing.

ELIAS (dismissive): I don’t suppose he’s intending to punch the Unknowing out of existence?

BASIRA: We haven’t actually sorted out who he’s planning vengeance against. Could be Jon. I don’t think he’d punch you, but I don’t know him too well.

MARTIN: Honestly, it’s been a good way to keep him busy. I won’t say it puts him in a better mood, exactly? He’s not less angry, just, erm, distracted. I think it helps. He thinks it helps, that’s what matters.

ELIAS: It is at least easier to rationalize than the margarita machine.

ELIAS (CONT'D, flips a couple more pages): One last thing… Ah. I also wanted to discuss some of Jon's travel expenses.

BASIRA: Is this from when you framed him for murder?

ELIAS: I think you’ll find that my involvement led to him being found innocent, but yes. This would be his absence during your investigation with Officer Tonner.

BASIRA (resigned): Alright. What’d he do, now?

[ELIAS slides a piece of paper across the table.]

ELIAS: Is this a typographical error, or did he really try to request this much compensation for ‘emotional damages’?

[BASIRA makes an interested noise as she reads the figure.]

BASIRA: Sounds about right.

ELIAS (stern, disapproving): We have an entirely separate form for that. It hardly counts as a travel expense.

MARTIN (did not know this. stunned, distant, half to himself): We have a whole form for emotional damages…

BASIRA: I think he just wanted to pay back his friend. Rent, groceries- I think Orsinov did some property damage, even?

ELIAS: Ahh. I see. We should be able to provide for that, if he can acquire some itemized receipts.

MARTIN (muttering to himself): What else do we have forms for?

ELIAS (darkly): A great many things, Mr Blackwood. Let us hope that you never find yourself in a position to discover them.

MARTIN (refuses to be disturbed by whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean): So, like, a sabbatical program? Have we got educational incentives?

ELIAS (perhaps a bit annoyed that Martin isn’t playing along): Don’t you already have a degree?

MARTIN (defensively): Maybe I want another one.

ELIAS: Then I suggest we have that discussion in a separate meeting. I doubt that Basira needs to know the details of your plans for personal growth.

BASIRA: Depends on the kind. Daisy might be in the market for a new gym partner.

MARTIN (terrified, dead sure that’s a euphemism for something violent): Oh wow! That’s. Great, Basira!

ELIAS: If you two are quite finished, I have other things I need to accomplish today.

BASIRA (sarcastically): Good luck with that!

BASIRA (CONT'D): I’m heading out, see you two on Monday.

MARTIN: Basira, it’s not even lunchtime. On Wednesday.

BASIRA (referring to Elias): What, is he gonna fire me?

[beat]

ELIAS (disgruntled): Enjoy your weekend, detective.

[Door opens and closes as BASIRA leaves.]

ELIAS (ominous): ...while you still can.

MARTIN: Do you do that every time someone leaves the room?

ELIAS (oh for- what now , MARTIN): Do what?

MARTIN: Say ominous stuff while no one's listening.

ELIAS (chuckles. If there was a camera, he'd be grinning directly at it): I can assure you, Martin, someone is always listening.

#the magnus archives #tma spoilers #fanfiction #smallsays

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thisdiscontentedwinter · 5 years

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Parking Tickets and Politics

Well, it’s the 21st in Australia, so happy holidays, @ambersagen!

This one was written for the @stetersecretsanta

It all starts with a parking ticket because yes, Peter is exactly that petty.

Peter won’t lie. He’s been adrift in his career for a little while now. He’s a born predator, and law seemed like a perfect fit, right? A wolf swimming with all those sharks. And Peter has done very well for himself, but he’s bored with it now. He came, he saw, he conquered, so now what?

Talia tells him he’s having a midlife crisis, but fuck Talia. Peter’s way too young and way too pretty for a midlife crisis, thank you very much.

So, it starts with a parking ticket.

Peter is back in Beacon Hills for the weekend of Cora’s birthday, and he comes out of his favourite coffee shop to find a ticket under the wiper of his car and the asshole who wrote the ticket just slipping his pen back into his khaki shirt pocket.

“What the hell is this?” Peter demands.

The cop levels him with a stare, and Peter realises too late that it’s no lowly deputy, but the sheriff himself. And he looks decidedly unimpressed. “This is a no standing zone, sir.”

“What?” Peter squints at the sign. “Seriously? How long has that been there?”

“About three months.”

“Well, it’s bullshit! Why the hell would you suddenly turn this into a no standing zone?”

The sheriff shrugs. “You’ll need to take that up with someone at city hall, sir. I don’t write the local laws, I just enforce them.”

“Of course,” Peter says, snatching the ticket from underneath the wiper blade. “Fifty dollars?”

“Have a nice day, sir,” the sheriff says blandly, but Peter thinks he probably means Fall in an open sewer and die, sir.

“You too,” Peter says, barely holding back his snarl.

The sheriff has the audacity to whistle as he walks away.

Peter narrows his eyes at his retreating back.

Peter is not paying the parking ticket. Okay, so he was parked in a no standing zone, which is technically against the law, but what about the spirit of the law? He climbs into his car and drives straight to city hall, ready to defend himself against this egregious abuse of power, and finds himself face-to-face with a middle-aged woman called Janice, who is wearing a sparkly dolphin brooch on her bosom and a scowl on her face.

Peter tells her all the reasons that the packing ticket is unfair, unjust, and unconscionable. And then he shows her his most charming smile—the one that never fails—and asks if she can see any way at all to waive the fine…

“No,” she says, and slams the grate down at her counter.

Well, fuck Janice and fuck her sparkly dolphin.

This means war.

***

“Oh, Peter,” Talia says that night, handing him a paper plate with a thick piece of Cora’s birthday cake on it. “You’re not serious?”

“I am absolutely serious,” Peter tells her. “I’m going to bring them down from the inside.”

Talia sighs. “Can’t you just be normal and get a sports car and a hideously age-inappropriate girlfriend?”

“What’s going on?” Cora asks curiously, wedging herself between them to grab another piece of her cake.

“Your uncle is having a midlife crisis.”

“I am not!” Peter growls.

Cora looks to Derek, who has been shoving cake in his face for the last few minutes and looking increasingly regretful that he’s overheard any of this conversation at all.

“The sheriff gave Peter a parking ticket,” Derek mumbles through a mouthful of crumbs. “So he’s going to run for mayor.”

“Well,” Cora says approvingly, “that escalated quickly.”

***

It’s surprisingly easy to run a mayoral campaign. Peter winds up his last few cases in LA, tells the other partners that he’s taking a sabbatical, and sets out to hire the best campaign team he can, so that he has to do as little actual work as possible. Braeden, his personal assistant, comes with him because, as she says, at least it will be good for a laugh. Peter would love to fire her for her attitude, but she turns out to be an incredibly capable campaign manager.

The incumbent mayor, Gerald Argent, is a poisonous old toad who is absolutely blindsided by Peter’s unexpected foray into politics, but smirkingly tells the press that has been mayor for twelve years, and he trusts that the local voters will value his experience over whatever Peter Hale is bringing to the table.

Pleasingly, the initial opinion poll that the local newspaper runs suggests that Gerard’s trust is largely misplaced. And really, Peter can see why. Taxes are on the rise, but meanwhile the streets are potholed, the local community hall needs urgent repairs, the water pipes are at least eighty percent rust, and the town’s parks and public spaces haven’t been spruced up in years.

Clearly the problems in Beacon Hills run deeper than a few ridiculous no standing zones.

There is one more candidate running for mayor: Natalie Martin. She’s personable, smart, well presented and, unlike Peter, has lived in Beacon Hills for the last decade. At the beginning of the campaign she’s trailing him in the polls, but Peter knows she’s the real challenge.

“You can’t run your entire campaign on photo ops and sound bites,” Braeden informs him one night as they’re eating takeout in Peter’s campaign office.

“Why not?” Peter asks.

“Because eventually people are going to want substance.”

“Do you even know how politics works?”

“Do you?” she shoots back. “Look, you’ve got a lot of support because you’re a Hale, and that apparently means something in this podunk little town, and because people really don’t like Argent. But Natalie has actual community connections here. Real ones that she built herself.”

“Firstly, podunk?” Peter asks her, but Braeden is from LA, so he supposes he can let it slide. “And secondly, since when are you on first names terms with the opposition?”

Braeden raises her eyebrows. “We go to the same yoga class.”

Peter spends a few moments pondering that lovely mental imagine. “Fine. What do you suggest I need?”

Braeden pokes him with her fork. “You need someone to endorse you. A public official who is trusted, and popular, and respected.”

“Someone like who?” Peter asks suspiciously.

Braeden grins. “Someone like Sheriff Stilinski.”

***

The annual Beacon Hills Sheriff’s Department Christmas Fundraiser is held in the community hall with the sagging roof. All of the mayoral candidates are invited, because Sheriff John Stilinski, Braeden tells Peter, doesn’t play favourites. Sheriff Stilinski has never endorsed a mayoral candidate before. It’s an odd tactic for a man who is in an elected position himself but considering that for the past two elections Gerard Argent has run unopposed, Peter thinks it’s probably quite reasonable. Because who would endorse that old fuck weasel Argent, unless they had a gun to their head?

This year, Peter thinks, will be different. He goes to the party with the express goal of winning John Stilinski over, and having him endorse his mayoral campaign. And why wouldn’t he? Peter is charming, witty, and an all round delight. Any fool can see that.

John Stilinski, it turns out, is not just any fool.

“A little bird tells me that you don’t endorse mayoral candidates,” Peter says, when he catches the sheriff by the punch bowl.

“That’s funny,” the sheriff says, stacking his paper plate high with triangular sandwiches and cocktail onions. “A little bird told me that you’re only running for mayor in the first place because your ego got bruised by that parking ticket I wrote you.”

“Oh, please don’t sell me short, Sheriff Stilinski,” Peter says. “I’m also running because I’m rich and bored.”

The sheriff snorts and walks away.

“What?” Peter asks when he catches Braeden’s disbelieving look.

“You’re a fucking idiot sometimes, Peter Hale.”

It’s lucky he’s paying her for her honesty, and not her good manners.

Still, she has a point. And Peter narrows his eyes when he sees the sheriff and Natalie Martin in what appears to be a friendly conversation a few minutes later over by the sad, drooping Christmas tree.

Peter rolls his eyes and heads back to replenish his punch, because clearly this entire evening is a waste of his time.

This time when he gets there, there’s a boy standing by the table. Well, a young man. He’s tall and lean, with tousled dark hair, eyes the colour of whiskey, and a smattering of moles on his face and throat. He looks adorably awkward in his cheap suit, like a fresh little intern on his first day in the corporate shark tank.

“Hello,” Peter says with an easy smile.

“Um, hi!” The boy gives a full-body jerk as he straightens up and waves. Then, obviously knowing just how exactly like a long-legged fawn on a frozen pond he appears—all flailing limbs and uncoordinated twitches—he flushes beautifully.

Peter leans in close. “Boring, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. A bit,” the boy says, and gulps down a mouthful of punch.

Peter looks him up and down, and isn’t at all subtle about it. The boy pinks up even further.

“Want to join me in the bathroom?” Peter asks him.

The boy’s eyes widen, and his jaw drops. “Are you serious right now?”

“Sweetheart,” Peter tells him, dropping his voice to a low, sultry tone that never fails him. “I am always serious about getting my dick sucked.”

The boy blinks at him, jaw dropping.

Peter smirks, and saunters towards the bathroom. He doesn’t even look back to see if the boy is following him. He’s Peter fucking Hale. Of course the boy is following him.

***

There really is nothing nicer than a pretty boy with a wet mouth on his knees in a bathroom stall. Peter has often thought so and he is, of course, always right. He rests his hand in the boy’s tousled hair, and smiles down at him.

“Aren’t you just delectable?” he asks the boy, and unzips his pants.

Actually, it must be Peter who is delectable, given the way the boy dives on his cock. He’s sloppy and clearly unpractised, but that has a certain charm all of its own. And he is nothing if not enthusiastic. He licks and laps and sucks like he’s in a race to the finish, and Peter is happy to oblige him in that. Fast and dirty have always been two of Peter’s favourite things.

He curls his fingers into a fist, crisp hair gel crunching, and helps the boy into a rhythm that is more-or-less smooth. The boy, in turn, curls one hand around Peter’s thigh, and the other around the base of his cock. He grips it tightly, and Peter’s hips shudder. His balls draw up, and he’s almost disappointed at how quickly he’s going to come, except it feels so fucking good. Screw stamina. Peter can blame it on the stress of the campaign later, or the length of time it’s been since he last got laid. In the meantime, he’s going to go hell for leather and give this kid the ego boost of his short, inexperienced life.

And it’s all going so very, very well, right up until Peter hears footsteps in the bathroom, wonders if he remembered to lock the stall door, realises as it opens that he didn’t, and then Sheriff Stilinski is standing right in front of him, jaw on the floor as he stares at Peter, and the kid, then Peter again.

“Hale! What the fuck are you doing to my son?”

Whoops.

All in all, Peter is very lucky to escape the Beacon Hills Sheriff’s Department Christmas Party with his balls still attached to his body.

He’s probably not going to get that endorsement now, is he?

***

“I think,” Peter says the next morning, perching on his desk and tapping his fingers on a stack of files, “perhaps a fruit basket?”

“A fruit basket?” Braeden asks, deadpan.

Peter shrugs. “Well, I don’t know. What is the appropriate apology gift to send the man whose endorsement you desperately need to win an election but whose son you accidentally publicly violated at a civic function?”

“There is no such gift, Peter!”

“Hmm,” Peter says. “Muffins?”

***

Over the next few days, the Sheriff Stilinski problem does not go away. In fact, it gets worse. Not only is Peter sure that the sheriff will never endorse him, but he’s also gotten three new parking tickets in that time. Okay, so he was technically parked illegally once, and overstayed his limit at a meter twice, but Peter knows when he’s on the receiving end of a petty vendetta. He’s orchestrated enough of them in his lifetime to recognise all the signs.

Clearly this is war, and clearly Peter needs to end it.

He’s going to have to go on a charm offensive, which means somehow making things right with John Stilinski. Which means, probably, first making things right with his son.

He needs information, and he sends Braeden to get it for him.

“Stiles Stilinski,” Braeden says the next morning. She sets her coffee cup and bagel down on her desk. “His real first name is unpronounceable. He’s the only child of the sheriff. He’s nineteen, thank fuck, and despite scoring 1550 on his SAT and the offer of a partial scholarship from Stanford, he goes to the local community college. He likes comic books and curly fries, he has ADHD, and he once wrote an entire high school Economics paper on the history of male circumcision.”

“I’m impressed,” Peter says. “How did you manage to dig all that up so quickly? And why is it so oddly specific?”

“Natalie told me at yoga,” Braeden says. “She used to teach him. By the way, what happened at the Christmas fundraiser is already being whispered about around town, so you’d better make it right before Argent’s campaign team picks up on it, or you’ll just be another sad political candidate who got caught canoodling with a teenage boy in a bathroom stall.”

“Excuse you,” Peter says. “The boy in question is of age, no money was exchanged, and unlike every fucking conservative asshole politician out there, I’m actually incredibly proud of my ability to get into compromising positions with gorgeous young men. Have you even seen my Instagram?”

Braeden suppresses a shudder. “Unfortunately.”

“So, if I make things right with the boy—”

“Stiles,” Braden interjects.

“Stupid name, but yes, fine. If I make things right with Stiles, that should clear the air, and then I can apologise to the sheriff and get his endorsement.”

Braeden raises her brows. “You say that like it’s easy.”

“I’m attractive, wealthy, and white,” Peter tells her. “Everything is easy.”

***

Everything is not easy.

The Stilinskis live in a dull little house on Oak Street. Peter turns up when he knows the sheriff will be on shift, and Stiles will be home alone. He parks out the front of the house, retrieves the Christmas gift basket he bought from the trunk of the car, and makes his way across the lawn to the front door. He steps up onto the porch, plasters on a charming smile, and rings the doorbell.

He waits.

Moments later, the door is pulled open, and Peter sees the boy again.

He’s not wearing a suit this time. He’s in sweatpants and one of the ugliest graphic t-shirts that Peter has ever seen, although it is old and worn enough that the ribbing around the collar sags and offers a tantalising glimpse of the boy’s collarbones. Peter has always been a sucker for collarbones.

The boy—Stiles—widens his eyes as he takes in his unexpected visitor. “What the hell do you want?”

“Hello, Stiles,” Peter says, and holds the gift basket out. “Merry Christmas.”

“Fuck you,” Stiles says, folding his arms over his chest. “If you want my dad’s endorsement so much, maybe you should have invited him to fuck around in a bathroom stall instead of me.”

“Maybe I should have,” Peter agrees, watching Stiles’s face turn an interesting shade of red. “Except that’s not what that was about at all.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s the truth,” Peter says. “I had no idea who you were, except for a pretty boy with a prettier mouth that I really wanted to stick my dick in. It’s not that deep, sweetheart.”

“Is that supposed to be an apology?”

“No,” Peter says. “That was an explanation. This hamper is the apology.”

Stiles’s expression does something complicated a second before he slams the door in Peter’s face.

Peter sighs and looks down at the gift basket. That’s a hundred and fifty bucks he’s wasted.

He helps himself to the gingerbread and leaves the rest on the doorstep when he goes.

***

Braeden takes one look at him when he walks back into the office, shakes her head, and announces that she’s taking a late lunch. It leaves Peter nothing to do except bask in the company of his campaign workers and volunteers. He does that for twenty seconds, then hightails it out of there to catch Braeden.

“It didn’t go well, I take it,” she says as they wait in line at the nearby coffee shop.

“He slammed the door in my face,” Peter grumbles.

“I like him already.” Braeden glances up from the screen of her phone. “What? You could do with a lot more people slamming doors in your face, Peter. It’s character building.”

“I already like the character I have.” Peter scans the board as they reach the counter. “Vanilla latte with a shot of espresso, please.”

“Make that two,” Braeden says.

They move to the side of the counter to wait for their order.

“It is an issue though, Peter,” Braeden cautions him. “Or it will be, once Argent’s team finds out. Unless you and the sheriff can play nice, this could actually sink your campaign.”

“I’m working on it,” Peter says. He digs the packet out of his coat pocket. “Gingerbread?”

***

Peter’s campaign office closes at five. All the staff clears out then. Braeden leaves shortly after for her yoga class, and Peter sits at his desk, leans back in his chair, and closes his eyes and wonders if this is what Talia means when she talks about karma biting him in the ass.

Except, no.

Karma is no match for Peter. This is just a little bump in the road to the election. Peter can absolutely make this right.

At 5.37, a bottle of Regalo Chardonay with a festive ribbon tied around the neck smashes through the front window of the office.

***

At 6 p.m. Peter is ringing the doorbell at the Stilinskis’ house again, and finishing off the last of the gingerbread. Nobody answers, but there’s a battered blue Jeep in the driveway, so Peter knows his quarry is home.

He rings the doorbell again, knocks for good measure, and then sighs. “Stiles?” he calls. “My campaign office does have security cameras, you know.”

Stiles wrenches the door open, glowering. “You think I’m fucking scared of you?”

“Clearly not,” Peter says, “or you wouldn’t throw bottles of wine through my windows. May I come in?”

It’s not a question so much as a statement of intent. He pushes his way inside the house before Stiles can slam the door in his face again.

Stiles rolls his eyes and stomps away down the hall.

Peter follows him, taking in the house.

It’s not much, for a man of the sheriff’s standing, although it’s more lived-in than run down. None of the furniture matches. And is that a stuffed fish mounted above the television in the living room? Peter cringes inwardly. Everything here is wrong on a visceral level. Peter’s first instinct is to call an emergency decorator. His second is to actually use his werewolf senses and parse this out.

Hideous style aside, the sheriff’s house smells of something stale and a little acrid. And then Peter realises that no, it’s not the house, but the boy. Here in his own environment, Stiles’s scent is strong, and it smells like… like loneliness. There’s a slight chemical scent of medication as well. ADHD, he remembers Braeden telling him. But mostly it’s loneliness.

Peter wonders if that has anything to do with the fact that it’s less than a week until Christmas, and there’s not a single decoration in the house. Not a single acknowledgement to the season. Not a single twirl of tinsel or ugly glittery bauble anywhere.

Peter enters the kitchen to discover Stiles drinking milk from the carton.

Stiles shoves the milk back in the refrigerator and glares at Peter. “Are you going to tell my dad?”

“No,” Peter says, and is surprised to find it’s the truth. He drove over here gleefully delighted that Stiles had given him the ideal leverage in this whole situation. Peter wouldn’t press charges if Stiles agreed to get his father to endorse him. Really, it was perfect. Except now, in his house without a single festive decoration and a boy that smells of Adderall and unhappiness, Peter isn’t gleeful at all. He’s intrigued. “But I’d like to know why a clever young man like yourself just did something so monumentally stupid.”

Stiles rolls his eyes. “You don’t care.”

“No, but I’m curious,” Peter says, and leans against the counter. “And who would you rather explain it to? Me, or your father?”

The question hangs in the air for a moment, and Peter isn’t sure if Stiles is going to answer it.

And then Stiles closes his eyes briefly and sighs, seeming to let all of his anger out with that long breath. “You pissed me off, okay?” He opens his eyes again. “I don’t like being used.”

“I already told you, Stiles,” Peter says softly, “I didn’t know whose son you were that night. That’s the truth. I mean, I did want to use you, but politics had nothing to do with it.”

Stiles’s mouth quirks in what appears to be an attempt to fight an unwilling smile. “Asshole.”

“Absolutely. Ask anyone.”

“Most of my life I’ve been the sheriff’s kid,” Stiles says. “I love my dad, and I’m proud of what he does, but I hate being the sheriff’s kid. Do you know how many parties you don’t get invited to in high school because everyone thinks you’re a narc?” He snorts. “To say I was unpopular is a gross understatement.”

Peter feels a rush of unaccustomed sympathy for the boy who has clearly struggled with feelings of inadequacy for years, followed immediately by a rush of warm pride for the boy whose first instinct when he thought he was being lied to was petty revenge and property damage.

Stiles shrugs. “So I finally put high school behind me, then some hot guy picks me up, and it turns out he was only using me to get to my dad. Because I’m the sheriff’s kid. And then he turns up on my doorstep and lies about it, and tries to bribe me with a dumb fucking Christmas hamper!” His face flushes. “Well, that’s what I thought.”

“Excuse you, it was a very nice hamper,” Peter counters.

“You took the gingerbread! That’s the best part!”

“Yes,” Peter says. “That’s why I took it.”

Stiles huffs, but his scent is sweeter than before. “So you really weren’t lying to me then? About not knowing who I was?”

“I really wasn’t lying,” Peter says. “I didn’t know you were the sheriff’s kid. I was just having a really boring night, and you looked like a wonderful distraction.”

“Asshole,” Stiles mutters.

“Yes,” Peter reminds him with a smirk. “We’ve established that.”

***

There was another bottle of wine in the hamper, fortunately, and this one is still intact when Peter digs it out. Stiles produces two tumblers from the kitchen cabinet, and they sit at the small breakfast table and dig through the rest of the hamper.

“Is this cheese?” Stiles asks, squinting at the packaging.

“The label clearly says fromage,” Peter says.

“What’s that stuff all over it?”

“That’s the wax.” Peter wrestles the cheese back off him. “God, what a philistine you are. Do you even have a cheeseboard?”

“No, I don’t have a fucking cheeseboard!”

“A chopping board then,” Peter says. “And a knife, while you’re up.”

“I’m not up.”

“Stiles,” Peter says. “Be up, or I’m not sharing the chocolates with you afterwards.”

Stiles groans, but leaves the table long enough to find a knife and a chopping board. “This cheese had better be nice.” And then, when Peter cuts it: “Gross. What’s all that weird stuff in it?”

“It’s blue cheese,” Peter tells him. “Shut up and try it.”

Stiles is not a fan. And, as he leans over the sink and gargles tap water, he tells Peter repeatedly and with increasing profanities.

Peter drinks his wine and smirks.

Stiles is an utter disaster of a human being but really, this is the most fun Peter has had in ages. And he suspects that it’s the most fun Stiles has had in ages too.

Peter apologises for the cheese by opening the sugared almonds, and he and Stiles work their way through half the packet before the conversation turns to the actual season and Peter mentions the lack of decorations in the house.

“Meh.” Stiles shrugs. “It’s sort of pointless, you know? Back when my mom was alive we’d put up the tree and everything, but Dad works most Christmases, so it’s kind of pointless if it’s just going to be me for most of the day. I’ll bet you have a tree and everything, don’t you? Like some fancy weird-ass bullshit minimalist thing that cost more than my Jeep.”

“Stiles, trees from the Dollar Store cost more than that Jeep,” Peter says, and laughs at Stiles’s outrage. “I don’t have a tree, actually. I go to my sister’s house. She has a tree. It’s an eight foot tall Fraser Fir, although it’s so full of decorations you can hardly see the branches.”

“Sounds very extravagant.” Stiles scoffs, but Peter can hear the underlying wistfulness in his tone.

“It’s ridiculous,” he agrees. “Ludicrous. And not at all environmentally sound.”

“No,” Stiles agrees, his smile dimming a little. For a second he seems a little adrift, his fingers twitching restlessly on the table top, and then he brightens and attacks the hamper again. “Is this fig paste going to taste as gross as that cheese?”

“Let’s try it and see,” Peter tells him, passing him a cracker.

***

“Braeden?” Peter asks the next day, spinning in his office chair and regarding the plyboard that someone has tacked up over the window until the repairman arrives.

“What?” she asks, glancing up from her computer.

“If one wanted to woo a nineteen-year-old boy with no discernable taste at all, how would one go about it?”

Braeden pinches the bridge of her nose. “Seriously, Peter? This is how you’re going to get the sheriff on side?”

“Oh! Do you think it would work?”

She gives him a death stare. “I’m going for coffee. And no, I’m not getting you one.”

***

“Hello,” Peter says that afternoon when Stiles opens the door suspiciously. “I’ve brought you a Dollar Store Christmas tree and a gingerbread house kit.”

Stiles lets him in.

***

“You know what’s fucked up?” Stiles asks with a scowl.

“Is it this gingerbread house?” Peter asks, unsuccessfully trying to hold a wall in place and get the frosting to take at the same time. It’s a mess, and everything keeps collapsing.

“Apart from that,” Stiles says, accidentally snapping a gingerbread door. “Whoops. Anyway, my dad is working again tonight, even though he already worked a morning shift.”

“Well, it’s Christmas,” Peter says. “The silly season, right? Lots of people doing lots of stupid things.”

Stiles deflates. “I know that. I just… tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, you know? Ugh.”

There’s a sort of a quiet desperation to his voice that makes Peter wonder exactly how many times he’s been disappointed to be alone, however much he tries to pretend he’s not.

“I know,” Peter says, and makes a note to have Braeden find out exactly how understaffed the Sheriff’s Department is.

“This isn’t working,” Stiles says, staring down at the gingerbread house. “You know what we should do?”

“Give up and eat it now?” Peter asks hopefully.

“No. Wait here.”

Stiles thumps upstairs and returns moments later with a couple of plastic dinosaurs. He positions them in the remains of the gingerbread house. “There! Dinosaur carnage.”

“Perfect,” Peter says, and snaps off part of a wall to make it look more authentic.

***

“You’re smiling,” Braeden says suspiciously the next day as they share takeout in the campaign office. It’s closed for Christmas Eve, but both Peter and Braeden are used to long hours after the law firm in LA, and they tend to gravitate towards afternoons like these: just the two of them, in an empty office, plotting and planning.

“I often do,” he says, shoving aside a bunch of budgetary spreadsheets so he can reach the spring rolls.

“Not like this,” she tells him. “It’s not your usual evil smile. It’s like you’re actually happy.”

“Do you know, I think I am happy?”

“Stop it,” Braeden says, and digs her chopsticks into her noodle box. “It’s weirding me out.”

Peter’s smile grows.

***

On Christmas morning, Peter turns up at Talia’s house with Braeden and a shitload of presents. He stays long enough to enjoy a few breakfast pastries, unwrap his gifts underneath the Fraser Fir, smirk at Derek’s obvious crush on Braeden, and then announces that he has other plans.

“You have other plans?” Talia asks him. “On Christmas Day?”

Peter swings his car keys around on his finger. “Yes.”

Talia looks to Braeden for an explanation.

“I think he was visited by a bunch of ghosts,” she says thoughtfully, “and we’re in the middle of his redemption arc.”

“Actually,” Peter lies, “I’m hoping to get laid.”

“On Christmas Day?” Talia exclaims.

“You’re right,” Peter says. “I’ll probably settle for a festive blow job.”

And he hightails it out of there before Talia can throw something at him.

***

“What the hell are you doing here?” John Stilinski asks when he opens the door. He’s already in uniform.

“I invited him, Dad!” Stiles yells from somewhere inside the house. “Let him in!”

“You invited Peter Hale for Christmas?” the sheriff asks suspiciously.

Stiles breezes out from the kitchen. “No, I invited him to come over for a Lord of the Rings marathon. I have chips and salsa.”

“Sounds perfect,” Peter says, and it actually really does.

The sheriff narrows his eyes at him.

“But John,” Peter says, “if you have a moment, I would like to talk to you about your department’s budget.”

“I’m running late,” the sheriff says. “What about it?”

“Well, bearing in mind that the town’s water pipes really are the priority, I think I can still see a way to getting you enough funds to afford to hire two new deputies after the election,” Peter says. “And that’s without sacrificing your overtime budget.”

The sheriff regards him silently for a moment, and then nods. “Well, if you’re still here when I get back, I can take a look at the figures.”

“Smooth,” Stiles says with a snort when the sheriff has left. “Natalie Martin could only promise him one.”

For a moment Peter is taken aback, and then he realises it’s because he spent the entire night running the figures Braeden gave him and it never once occurred to him to do it to win the sheriff’s endorsement. Instead, he’d done it because the department was understaffed. He’d done it because it was the right thing to do.

Oh God.

Who is he right now?

He’s not really having a Christmas Carol redemption arc, isn’t he?

Because if he is, he really has no idea what to do with that.

***

Peter has never watched the Lord of the Rings movies, and watching them with Stiles is a delight. Stiles must have seen them hundreds of times, but he still grips his cushion excitedly when the hobbits are fleeing from the Nazgûl, gasps when Gandalf falls to his apparent death in the Mines of Moria, and cheers when the Riders of Rohan appear. Peter has, of course, read the books, and finds himself engrossed in the movies.

He finds himself more engrossed in the boy sitting next to him though.

A boy who is wasted in a town like Beacon Hills.

“Why are you at the community college?” he asks curiously. “I’ll bet you got better grades than that.”

He knows he got better grades than that.

Stiles reaches out to scoop some salsa onto a chip. “I wanted to stay here, I guess.”

Peter thinks there must be more to it than that. “What are you studying?”

“Sociology,” Stiles says. “And when I finish that, I’m doing the six month POST diploma.” He catches Peter’s look. “Police officer standards training.”

And there it is, Peter thinks. He glances around the room and sees a framed photograph of a dark-haired woman smiling out at him.

“How old were you when your mother passed away?”

“Ten,” Stiles says, his scent souring. “It was pretty rough, you know? Me and Dad both kind of fell apart for a while there, but we look after each other now.”

Not, he looks after me. No. There must have been a shift in their dynamic when Stiles’s mother died. Peter imagines a small boy trying to hard to fill the spaces that his mother’s death left. A child, trying to be a cornerstone. An anchor.

And he’s still trying, even if he doesn’t realise it. Trying to be there for his father, both at home and, in the future, at work. It’s love the compelled him to stay in Beacon Hills.

How strange.

How strange that this nineteen-year-old boy is as fiercely protective of his father as any wolf.

How strange, and how wonderful.

Stiles has so many facets, each of them shining a different light. But at his core he is a better person that Peter will ever be.

Well, not like that’s much of a challenge, Peter supposes. There are microscopic life forms that live in the darkest parts of the ocean that are better people than Peter Hale. But still. It’s a compliment.

“More chips?” Peter asks, noting that the bowl is empty.

Stiles nods.

Peter takes the bowl into the kitchen, refills the chips, and returns to the living room couch. When he sits down, Stiles leans into him, his head coming to rest on Peter’s shoulder.

“We should eat the gingerbread house too,” Stiles says.

“Mmm,” Peter agrees. “Before the dinosaurs do.”

Stiles laughs, and tilts his head to look up at him. His eyes are sparkling.

Peter dips his head down.

Their mouths brush.

The kiss is soft and chaste, and tastes like corn chips.

Peter has never been happier.

***

Stiles is snoring on the couch when John Stilinski arrives home from work. Peter is in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher.

“You’re still here,” the sheriff says, in a tone that says he’s reserving judgement, but he’s doing it in a very pointed way.

“I’m still here,” Peter agrees. “How was your shift?”

The sheriff rolls his shoulders. “Not too bad.”

“I made you some sandwiches,” Peter says, going to the refrigerator to get them out. “Stiles says you like turkey and mayo?”

The sheriff takes the plate warily, and peels the plastic wrap off it. “You made these?”

“Yes,” Peter says. “Stiles made me put salad on them too, so I apologise for that in advance.”

The sheriff snorts. “Sounds like him.”

Peter turns back to the dishwasher.

“Listen,” the sheriff says. “I don’t much like you, Peter, but my son clearly does, and I’m glad you gave him someone to spend Christmas with. So thank you for that.”

“It was my pleasure,” Peter says, turning back again. It’s not just a platitude, and Peter thinks, by the look in the sheriff’s eyes, that the man knows it too. “I know you don’t like me, John, because I’m an asshole. It’s a feature, not a bug.”

The sheriff looks dubious.

“But I do make excellent sandwiches,” Peter says. “And I will make an excellent mayor. I’m an asshole, but I’m an incredibly capable one. Running local government is going to be child’s play for someone like me. I’ve been a top criminal attorney for the past fifteen years. I made partner in six, and I have never lost a case.”

“Huh.” The sheriff shoves another sandwich in his mouth. “You couldn’t get out of that parking ticket down at city hall through, could you?”

“That’s fair, but have you met Janice? That woman is a brick wall!”

“She’s on my bowling team,” the sheriff says. He sets the plate down on the table. “Now, how about we discuss that budget of yours?”

And Peter is happy to oblige.

***

By the time Gerard Argent’s campaign team tries to scuttle Peter’s election campaign with a sex scandal, it’s too late.

The sheriff bristles indignantly at the low-key press conference when the reporter from the local paper suggests he has a personal reason for making the announcement. “No, I’m endorsing Peter Hale because of his support for the Beacon Hills Sheriff’s Department, and for his commitment to upgrading the town’s infrastructure and services. Next question.”

The reporter persists. “So the fact that Peter Hale and your son are in a relationship has nothing to do with it?”

Peter leans in towards the microphone, glancing at Braeden. “I’ll take this question, Sheriff.”

Don’t fuck it up, he can hear Braeden willing him. Don’t fuck it up.

“Gerard Argent has been mayor of Beacon Hills for three terms,” Peter says. “And during that time your taxes have gone up while the town’s infrastructure literally crumbles around you. But by all means let’s focus on who I’m dating, and not on the fact that Mayor Argent has grossly mismanaged your tax dollars for over a decade, shall we? God knows I love a juicy story as much as the next person—you can follow me on Instagram—but my boyfriend and I are both consenting adults. Now, are you sure you’ve set the bar for political journalism low enough with this bullshit, or do you want me to grab a shovel and start digging?”

He smiles for the cameras.

The reporter gapes, Braeden facepalms, and the sheriff snorts, but Peter thinks he’s made his point.

And so, happily, do the voters.

***

Peter Hale is sworn in as mayor of Beacon Hills on a chilly January morning.

He invites Natalie Martin to be his deputy.

By February, the no parking signs are removed from outside Peter’s favourite coffee shop, and the work on replacing the town’s water pipes has begun.

In Peter’s new office, which is filled with the sort of expensive and minimalist furnishings that Stiles hates, hangs a framed parking ticket. It’s the first thing people see when they enter the office. Peter enjoys telling people it’s a reminder that not even the mayor is above the law, when really it’s a reminder of how being a petty and spiteful asshole has gotten him everything he ever wanted.

Stiles laughs at it gleefully every time he drops by to visit.

#steter #my fics #parking tickets and politics #stetersecretsanta #discontentedwinter

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errorbagel2 · 2 years

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farrahfranklin · 3 years

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“Hemingway: A Love Affair With Bimini.” To angling and, celebrities from Martin Luther King Jr. , Ernest Hemingway, Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. to Zane Grey, the tiny Bahamian outpost of Bimini has always had a reputation for some of the best fishing on the planet. Ernest Hemingway and his beloved boat Pilar were constant fixtures around the Bahamian island of Bimini during the mid-1930s. For two small islands of only 1,900 people, Bimini boasts an impressive number of world-class anglers, writers and statesmen who have either visited or lived on this tiny Bahamian outpost just 50 miles from the Florida coast. Zane Grey, Martin Luther King and Ernest Hemingway have long enjoyed the islands' reputation for some of the best fishing on the planet! Grey was so enthusiastic about Bimini, he called it “a sport fisherman's dream come true.” Trolling the waters between Key Largo and Bimini, he helped to introduce the well-heeled of the Roaring Twenties to the challenges of catching marlin and sailfish. His books and many world records also played a part in enticing Hemingway to the Keys and eventually to Bimini. For Ernest, the sheer power and speed of the billfish and the bluefin tuna that were found right off the coast of the north island were irresistible. But hooking them was only part of the battle. His biggest problem (and no small part of the inspiration for his novella The Old Man and the Sea) was getting what he'd caught on board before they were "apple-cored" by mako sharks. The swift and unforgiving makos feasted on many of his potential trophies and convinced him that it wasn’t enough to reel in the fish; you had to aggressively pursue it. He was one of the first to use the technique of putting the boat into full reverse to get his catch out of the water as soon as possible. But as much as he loved the island and its fishing, Ernest didn't come back after the summer of 1937. The Spanish Civil War was in full swing and after covering the fall of Madrid to the Fascists he moved to Cuba. The Big Game Club had hosted a previous tournament in November but participation in the February 21-23 event, with over 20 boats and close to 200 anglers, was even gre (at Bimini, The Bahamas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNEB8z1j8Sh/?igshid=gn9uceftnlos

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marsnmango · 6 years

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Things that take me out of fanfiction (as a fanfiction writer)

Aside from the obvious (poor grammar, formatting errors, etc.) these are a few of the things that make me pause and reconsider whether or not I really want to continue reading the thing that I am reading.

Mis-characterizations; it’s impossible to know with 100% certainty how a character is going to react in all scenarios, but some things are tough to overlook. Characters that are incredibly strong struggling with a weak enemy, for example- that sort of thing can be done, but you’d better set up the context correctly. Or it can throw (me) your reader off. If there’s a reason why your character’s behavior is diverging from what is canonically accurate, explain it! Don’t be afraid to just straight up say it. People (including myself) like to know what they’re in for when they start a fic.

Inaccuracy. Now it is fiction, so lots of liberties can be taken with this, but if you cannot adequately describe something that your character should know how to do... it’s going to stand out. For example, if your character is a working adult, but you are not, and you do not know how to go to the bank and get cash out of it... Maybe avoid writing that specific scenario. Write around it. Describe it vaguely.

Politics. You can tackle real issues through writing, if you know how to do it and can do it well. But please, please do not have one character mention [Real world (usually American) political figure] and have everyone else in the scene unanimously agree and rip on that political figure. Unless it’s something completely in-character and reasonable for everyone involved... Even if I agree with everything being said, it’s just annoying.

Poor/Unrealistic Dialogue. Colloquialism is something that is naturally ingrained in every culture, but please try to keep in mind the differences in a conversation between 2 thirty year olds and 2 teenagers. When I read a story featuring a supposed adult, who speaks as if he is a freshman in high school giving a power point presentation for the first time... it’s. weird

Memes. That’s right, I said memes. I love memelords just as much as the next guy, but unless it’s a story that is very clearly focused on something that would involve that subject matter, I don’t want memes. First of all, fanfiction becomes outdated, fast. A Damn Daniel meme is going to 1. date your story and 2. completely throw me for a loop in your story that is based in Ancient Egypt. The 2 second chuckle from a handful of readers is not worth it.

Non-existent/Unrealistic Consequences. Problems do not magically go away overnight. In order to avoid leaving any loose ends, list off the primary list of problems that your protagonists are going through. Then when you write the conclusion, double check that it eliminates or addresses each of these problems; whether or not they’re going to persist after the story ends or whatever else the deal might be. If a character struggles with addiction (for example)--make sure the conclusion mentions something about how the character is going to handle (or has handled) this problem.

Handling tough subject matter lazily. This is tricky for anyone, but if you have never experienced a traumatic situation, but your intention is to portray this situation as realistically as possible... do some research. If it’s a little outside of the realm of reality (parents murdered by shark wolves), research the stages of grief. How people within your protagonist’s age group cope with it and how they don’t, and whether or not your Granted, not all fanfiction strives to be as accurate as possible when it comes to trauma. Some people just genuinely love to torment the hell out of characters they like, and that’s fine- just preface it in the tags or summary. Trigger warnings help as well, that way people know to avoid reading about things that may draw overwhelming or unpleasant feelings. Or a past trauma, worst case scenario.

Inconsistency. Your dragon-queen alpha wizard raven way had the regeneration ability 3 chapters ago, but now that she lost her hand it’s suddenly the end of the world? If this is the case, there needs to be a reason why it is true this time but wasn’t every other time. You can bend the rules, but make sure there’s a reason (even a ham-fisted one) why they’re being bent.

Poor/Lazy Characterization. This sort of goes hand-in-hand with inconsistency. If a character is an asshole, who is proudly an asshole and nothing but an asshole... he’s not going to tip his waitress? He’s not going to internally monologue about how the servers work hard and deserve to be paid well, unless he is genuinely a decent person on the inside. Even if the author does this in an attempt to allude to the fact that he is going to become a better person later on, there are better ways to go about it. Your asshole-character would likely be more subtle in his approach, or use misdirection. Throwing a crumpled up $1 bill at a waitress is far more likely and expected of bratty/asshole behavior... “But at least they left a tip?” Not-so-Slow Burns. If you sign up for a slow burn, it might be helpful to focus on the slice-of-life behavior and how the characters gradually get closer throughout. If you rush straight into the romance, it’s not a very slow burn. They don’t generally start feeling doki-doki true love by the third total encounter they’ve ever had in their entire lives. Sometimes, maybe. But handle with care, and keep in mind that people need time to change. If they’re refraining from a relationship or whatever because MC 1 is anti-humanity, your MC isn’t going to become a people-loving pope overnight. A timeskip might help you out there, but it’s risky if it’s unexpected or random. I AM NOT THE FUN POLICE. In the end, even if you borrow the characters- your story is your story. I’ve done almost every single thing on this list, some things more frequently than others depending on the nature of my story. You are allowed to do whatever you want and have as much fun as you want. I’m offering this list mostly to the people who want to receive feedback, because I’ve been there. You’ve finally got your grammar down. You’re working on your vocabulary and formatting and yet..... you still don’t feel any growth or significant change in your audience. It can be frustrating. Making a note of these things and how often you do them will help you to gain a more enthusiastic audience about your work. People like to read fanfiction that feels as though it could stand on its own. This is especially helpful for those fanfiction authors who want to publish their own novels someday. Also, not all of this falls on the responsibility of the author. If an author consistently updates their tags/summary/notes, etc, then there’s no reason that a reader should walk into a Slow-Burn and expect hasty passionate smut in chapter 2. Or read a story titled “THE GORE OF WAR” and complain about...y’know, gore. Most readers tend to have a pretty good grasp on what the atmosphere of a story is going to by the first paragraph. And the atmosphere may change over time, which is fine! Just keep your readers in mind before your lollipops & sunshine rom-com becomes a last minute zombie apocalypse. Maybe make a note of that in the notes; give people a chance to bail, and trust me, you want them to bail. 1 more hit on your work isn’t worth the 3-paged flame you’re about to receive. Above all, just have fun and keep writing. The more you write and the more willing you are to constantly adapt to feedback/growth, the better your work is going to become! Nobody starts off writing like R.R. Martin. He probably started off with really shitty star trek slash.

#Btw tag that shit #Also I rarely ever actually duck out of a story #I like to suffer through it #writers are masochists #I stand by this #fanfiction #writing tips

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pbpress · 4 years

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Fire and Ice: Chapter 3

By Brooklyn N. Dottin

MARTIN AUGUSTIN

“Fifty dollars to fix up that scratch,” said the disheveled, oily-overalled mechanic called Jasper Antwong, after examining the damage done to my car. She wiped her perspiring forehead with her hand, leaving a dark smear of grease. I’d taken my car to the mechanic that weekend, hoping to get the scratch fixed. Judging by how insignificant the scratch seemed compared to , say, a dent caused by backing into a telephone pole or whatever, I figured that I’d be able to just take my car there, get the scratch fixed, and be out of it. But, I was wrong.

“Fifty dollars?” I sighed. “But that’s twice as much as I make in a month!”

“Then you’ll just have to wait until you have the fifty dollars,” Jas said nonchalantly. “Until then, you’re just gonna have to live with the scratch for a while.”

“Thanks a bunch,” I said, getting into my car.

The mechanic didn’t seem to notice my sarcasm.

“Anytime, my man,” she said, going back into the garage.

I smiled at the retreating figure. Although I would not outwardly-or even inwardly- admit it, I actually quite admired that mechanic, for four reasons: 1) Jas is the only female mechanic at that garage. In fact, she’s the only female mechanic in the whole county! 2) She’s no-nonsense, she never bothers with light-heartedness, and she’s knows what needs to be done, and usually does it. 3) She doesn’t care that people are more than a little weirded out that there’s a female mechanic, and 4) Despite the fact that she almost always wears oily overalls and always wears her hair in a messy, unkempt ponytail, she’s just about the cutest girl I know. She’s a freshman in college, and she’s going to a mechanical and technical school. She’s basically an intern at that garage, but she’s kind of above internship, by how hard she works there. She’s even helped to repair whole transmissions and engines and what-not for ten whole cars. So, I’m not so sure she’s an intern as much as she is an actual mechanic.

Do not judge me, but since ninth grade, I’ve had a huge crush on Jas. We used to go to the same school in elementary school, but went to different schools for middle school. She’s two years older than me, so we didn’t cross paths often; as she was busy applying to colleges and basically doing older teenager stuff, I was still trying to settle down into high school life. But we visited each other as often as we could, and had lots of great times together. One time, when she was twelve, and I was ten, Jas’s mom took us both to Sea World during summer break. Jas loved marine life and wanted to become a marine biologist when she grew up. The first thing she wanted to do was check out the shark tanks. Now, I had, and still have, a deathly fear of sharks. So I wasn’t too enthusiastic about the idea of observing them from behind a glass window. I believed, with any luck, the sharks would bash in the window, and eat us all up. Of course, that is highly unlikely, but I still didn’t want to look at sharks. I preferred to look at something less harmless, like fish, or just go on a ride or something. But there I was, at the shark tank, with Jas and her mom. At first, we didn’t see any sharks, and Jas’ mom explained that they were just probably hiding. I started to relax a bit, but right when my guard was completely down, a shark met the glass headway. I screamed and ran outside, shouting, “SHARK IS ON THE LOOSE!! SHARK IS ON THE LOOSE!!!!” But everyone just laughed at me. The shark hadn’t even cracked the glass. I felt like a complete moron then, and, whenever I think back on that time, still do. And Jas has never let me hear the end of THAT one.

Despite that, we get along quite well. When she began working at that garage, she’d talk to me in a very short, professional manner while she was at work, but in her spare time, she’d be totally loose. I kind of prefer the loose side of her, ‘cause the professional side, at times, could be slightly obnoxious. Other than that, she’s a really awesome person. I hate to admit this, but in ninth grade I’d often fantasize about marrying her. I know it sounds ridiculous, but occasionally I still do. I mean, get a grip! You’re two years younger than her!

I drove home, thinking all that the whole time. I wondered if my best friend, Blanchard Schwartz, was okay. She’s usually the most conscientious person ever, and she’s hardly ever distracted, yet, she seemed especially distracted on Thursday. What was up with her? Something must be up. I didn’t know what, but it had to be something. I mean, who forgets to close a car door before starting up the car? That’s literally common knowledge!

I could never forget to close my car door.

“Did it have something to do with Austin?” I wondered. “There have been signs….But she’s not one of those girls who go buck-wild over cute guys! Unlike that Alessandra Firebrand creep! I heard from my brother who heard from Alessandra’s brother that she and Austin were making out in her room, and Alessandra may well have started the whole thing. There’s no way Blanchard would want to as well! But then again, she did seem to go a little scatterbrained whenever Austin walked by or talked to her. No, no, no, no, that can’t be-”

MEEEEEEEEP!

A car horn interrupted my distracted train of thoughts. I realized I was drifting out my lane and quickly jerked the steering wheel hard to the right. A green SUV with a man and a couple kids in it went past. I pulled over to the side of the road, parked, and leaned on the steering wheel, breathing hard. I had to take literally a full half hour to fully get my head around what just happened. I actually slapped myself across the face for almost getting myself killed. Now I knew how Blanchard felt! Ugh!

After fully getting myself back together, I drove towards home, this time fully alert, maybe over-alert. But the important thing is, I managed to get home without any damage done.

#BROOKLYN N. DOTTIN #poetryfiction

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entrepreneursbloguk · 5 years

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New Post has been published on Entrepreneurs Blog

New Post has been published on https://www.entrepreneursblog.co.uk/blog/entrepreneur-quotes/

Entrepreneur Quotes (99 Inspirational Quotes)

Being an entrepreneur is a journey, it can be challenging, frustrating, rewarding, disappointing and exhilarating. Here are 99 inspirational quotes for entrepreneurs. These inspirational quotes that will help you keep motivated along your entrepreneurial journey.

1. “I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.–Steve Jobs, Co-Founder of Apple

2. “Choose a job that you like, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” –Confucius, Philosopher

3. “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” –Albert Einstein, Physicist

4. “Stay self-funded as long as possible.” –Garrett Camp, Co-Founder of Uber

5. “If you are going through hell, keep going.” –Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister

6. “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark.” –Michelangelo, Artist

7. “Business opportunities are like buses: there’s always another one coming.” –Richard Branson, Chairman and Founder of Virgin Group

8. “Done is better than perfect.” –Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook

9. “Any time is a good time to start a company.” -Ron Conway, noted Startup Investor, SV Angel

10. “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” –Tony Robbins, Motivational Speaker

11. “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” –Socrates, Greek Philosopher

12. “If you want to build a successful business, make sure you have three things—a big market opportunity, great people, and more than enough capital.” -Richard Harroch, Venture Capitalist, Author, and Entrepreneur

13. “Winners never quit and quitters never win.” -Vince Lombardi, Famed Football Coach

14. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”-Mark Twain, Writer

15. “Everyone has an idea, but it’s really about executing the idea and attracting other people to help you with the idea.” –Jack Dorsey, Entrepreneur, Co-Founder of Twitter

16. “It’s not about money or connections. It’s the willingness to outwork and outlearn everyone when it comes to your business. And if it fails, you learn from what happened and do a better job next time.” -Mark Cuban, Entrepreneur and “Shark Tank” Judge

17. “Waiting for perfect is never as smart as making progress.” –Seth Godin, Author

18. “If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’” -Dave Barry, Humorist

19. “Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise.” -Ted Turner, Entrepreneur and Businessman

20. “The price of inaction is far greater than then cost of a mistake.” -Meg Whitman, CEO of HP

21. “If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters.” -Claire Cook, Author

23. “If you had asked people what they wanted, they would have said a faster horse.” -Henry Ford, Founder of Ford Motor Company

24. “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” –Thomas Edison, Inventor

25. “I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’” –Muhammad Ali, Boxing Champion

26. “Never tell your problems to anyone … 20 percent don’t care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.” -Lou Holtz, Football Coach

27. “You can have everything you want in life if you just help enough people get what they want in life.” -Zig Ziglar, Motivational Speaker

28. “There are a lot of things that go into creating success. I don’t like to do just the things I like to do. I like to do things that cause the company to succeed. I don’t spend a lot of time doing my favorite activities.” –Michael Dell, Founder of Dell Computer

29. “100 percent of the shots you don’t take, don’t go in.” -Wayne Gretzky, Hockey Legend

30. “Act enthusiastic and you will be enthusiastic.” -Dale Carnegie, Author and Motivational Speaker

31. “Make your team feel respected, empowered, and genuinely excited about the company’s mission.” -Tim Westergen, Founder of Pandora

32. “Waiting for perfect is never as smart as making progress.” -Seth Godin, Author

33. “You must put your head into the lion’s mouth if the performance is to be a success.” -Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister

34. “Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.” -George S. Patton, U.S. General

35. “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” -Albert Einstein, Physicist

36. “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” -Friedrich Nietzsche, Philosopher

37. “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” -John Maxwell, Motivational Speaker and Author

38. “No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it.” -Andrew Carnegie, Industrialist and Philanthropist

39. “Screw it, let’s do it.” -Richard Branson, Founder of Virgin Group

40. “There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” -Aristotle, Greek Philosopher and Scientist

41. “If you are offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat! Just get on.” -Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook

42. “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” -Albert Einstein, Physicist

43. “If people like you, they’ll listen to you, but if they trust you, they’ll do business with you.” -Zig Ziglar, Motivational Speaker

44. “Goals aren’t enough. You need goals plus deadlines: goals big enough to get excited about and deadline to make you run. One isn’t much good without the other, but together they can be tremendous.” -Ben Feldman, Actor

45.“Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States

46. “Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” -Jerry Rice, Legendary Wide Receiver for the San Francisco 49ers

47. “We see our customers as invited guests to a party, and we are the hosts. It’s our job every day to make every important aspect of the customer experience a little bit better.” –Jeff Bezos, Founder of Amazon

48. “If you do the things that are easier first, then you can actually make a lot of progress.” –Mark Zuckerberg, Founder of Facebook

49. “If you’ve got an idea, start today. There’s no better time than now to get going. That doesn’t mean quit your job and jump into your idea 100 percent from day one, but there’s always small progress that can be made to start the movement.” -Kevin Systrom, Founder of Instagram

50. “Research indicates that workers have three prime needs: interesting work, recognition for doing a good job, and being let in on things that are going on in the company.” -Zig Ziglar, Motivational Speaker

51. “Appreciate everything your associates do for the business. Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well-timed, sincere words of praise. They’re absolutely free and worth a fortune.” –Sam Walton, Founder of Walmart

52. “The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that’s changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.” –Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook Founder

53. “Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.” -Albert Einstein, Physicist

54. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou, Author and Poet

55. “Whatever you do, be different—that was the advice my mother gave me, and I can’t think of better advice for an entrepreneur. If you’re different, you will stand out.” –Anita Roddick, Founder of The Body Shop

56. “Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” -Billie Burke, Actress

57. “Simplicity is the key to brilliance.” –Bruce Lee, Martial Arts Expert

58. “I don’t look to jump over 7-foot bars; I look around for 1-foot bars that I can step over.” –Warren Buffett, Chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway

59. “The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.” –Oprah Winfrey, Entertainer and Entrepreneur

60. “Be so good they can’t ignore you.” -Steve Martin, Comedian and Actor

61. “Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.” -Conan O’Brien, Talk Show Host

“When you first start off trying to solve a problem, the first solutions you come up with are very complex, and most people stop there. But if you keep going, and live with the problem and peel more layers of the onion off, you can often times arrive at some very elegant and simple solutions. Most people just don’t put in the time or energy to get there.” –Steve Jobs, Co-Founder of Apple

63. “Customers don’t expect you to be perfect. They do expect you to fix things when they go wrong.” -Donald Porter, British Airways

64. “Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.” -Samuel Johnson, Writer and Editor

65. “Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion.” -Jack Welch, Former CEO of GE

66. “Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly and get on with improving your other innovations.” -Steve Jobs, Co-Founder of Apple

67. “Social media is here. It’s not going away; not a passing fad. Be where your customers are: in social media.” -Lori Ruff, Chief Brand Evangelist

68. “People want to do business with you because you help them get what they want. They don’t do business with you to help you get what you want.” -Don Crowther, Social Media Expert

69. “Always deliver more than expected.” –Larry Page, Co-Founder of Google

70. “You must be very patient, very persistent. The world isn’t going to shower gold coins on you just because you have a good idea. You’re going to have to work like crazy to bring that idea to the attention of people. They’re not going to buy it unless they know about it.” -Herb Kelleher, Founder of Southwest Airlines

71. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” -Mark Twain, Author

72. “Leaders think and talk about the solutions. Followers think and talk about the problems.” –Brian Tracy, Entrepreneur and Author

73. “Do an evening review at the end of the day to reflect on what went well, and what you’d do differently next time.” -Marilyn Suttle, Author

74. “Never work just for money or for power. They won’t save your soul or help you sleep at night.” -Marian Wright Edelman, Activist

75. “You must take the time to do something that brings you joy. If you are saying to yourself, ‘I can’t do that because I have to pick up the kids, and run my business, and … and … who’s got time for fun? Are you insane?’ If you don’t have time for fun, you’ll be forced to take time for illness. Then what?” -Beth Ramsay, Author

76. “In business, you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.” -Anonymous

77. “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” -Colin Powell, U.S. General

78. “The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It’s as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer.” -Nolan Bushnell, Entrepreneur

79. “You are what you think. So just think big, believe big, act big, work big, give big, forgive big, laugh big, love big, and live big.” -Andrew Carnegie, Industrialist and Philanthropist

80. “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” -Yoda, Star Wars

81. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” -Woody Allen, Actor and Director

82. “Business is like poker. You have to be able to read people. You have to understand the odds of a particular endeavor. You need to make calculated bets. And you have to get lucky.” -Richard Harroch, Venture Capitalist and Co-Author of Poker for Dummies

83. “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” -Charles R. Swindoll, Author

84. “What good is an idea if it remains an idea? Try. Experiment. Iterate. Fail. Try again. Change the world.” -Simon Sinek, Author

85. “If you have an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time—a tremendous whack.” -Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister

86. “Even a correct decision is wrong when it was taken too late.” -Lee Iacocca, Former CEO of Chrysler

88. “Don’t wait for perfection. Life isn’t perfect. Do the best you can and ship. Real people ship, and then they test and then they ship again. Then you wake up one day and you have something insanely great.” –Guy Kawasaki, Entrepreneur

87. “The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” -Theodore Roosevelt, 26th U.S. President

89. “Success … is no longer a simple ascension of steps. You need to climb sideways and sometimes down, and sometimes you need to swing from the jungle gym and establish your own turf somewhere else on the playground.” -Reid Hoffman, Founder of LinkedIn

90. “Be nice to geeks; you’ll probably end up working for one.” –Bill Gates, Founder of Microsoft

91. “To have a great idea, have a lot of them.” -Thomas Edison, Inventor

92. “Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.” -Napoleon Bonaparte, Military Leader

93. “It’s more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy.” -Steve Jobs, Co-Founder of Apple

94. “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” -Albert Einstein, Physicist

95. “Better understated than overstated. Let people be surprised that it was more than you promised and easier than you said.” -Jim Rohn, Entrepreneur, Author, and Motivational Speaker

96. “Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are asking, what’s in it for me?” -Brian Tracy, Entrepreneur and Author

97. “When you’re first thinking through an idea, it’s important not to get bogged down in complexity. Thinking simply and clearly is hard to do.” -Richard Branson, Founder of Virgin Group

98. “Behind every adversity is an opportunity. If you lament over the adversity, you will miss the opportunity.” -Ajaero Tony Martins, Entrepreneur and Investor

99. “What business should you start today? One that you are passionate about, has a big market opportunity, can be up and running quickly, and that doesn’t require a lot of initial capital. Think Internet, apps, e-commerce, and mobile.” -Richard Harroch, Venture Capitalist, Author, and Entrepreneur

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whatsonforperth · 5 years

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20 Things To Do In Perth For Under $50

Check out these experiences in Perth for under $50! There is so much to see and do in Perth the hardest thing is decinding what to do and of course make sure it doesnt break the bank. We have a list of some of the best things to do in Perth for less than a pineapple. Perfect for travellers who want to experience the best of Perth on a budget. Or alternatively, if youre a local and looking for things to do in Perth on the weekend. 1. Penguin & Sea Lion Cruise $42

Enjoy a leisurely 45 minute cruise on a glass bottom boat through Shoalwater Bays wildlife sanctuary zone to see wild dolphins and rare Australian sea lions. Get up close with the worlds smallest penguins when you join the island rangers present penguin feeding and a talk. Plenty of time to explore the sandy bays too! BOOK NOW 2. Nostalgia Box $17

Relive your childhood with a trip to Australias only video game museum right here in Perth! Play old favourites such as Pong, Atari 2600, Super Mario Bros, Alex Kidd, Sonic the Hedgehog, Crash Bandicoot and many more! A great visit with the kids on the weekend or school holidays. BOOK NOW 3. The Bell Tower $18

Located overlooking the Swan River, The Bell Tower is one of Perths most visited attraction and its home to the famous royal bells of St Martin-in-the-Fields, which chimed for James Cook as he departed on his voyage of discovery to Australia. Definitely one of Perths iconic landmark and located right in the heart of Elizabeth Quay. BOOK NOW 4. The Perth Mint $19

Watch a molten gold pour and see precious gold bars and coins being struck at the award-winning Perth Mint. Marvel at Australias largest collection of natural gold nuggets, including the second largest gold nugget in existence, weighing in at 25.5 kilograms. Guided talks operate every hour. BOOK NOW 5. Lancelin 4WD Sand Dunes Boarding Adventure $30

Enjoy this 45 minute adventure onthis thrill ride which takes you up and down some of the biggest dunes in Western Australia with the magnificent crystal clear waters of the Indian Ocean as the backdrop. Lancelin is located around 70kms north of Perth so a great activity if you have your own vehicle and self-driving. BOOK NOW 6. Caversham Wildlife Park $28

Spend the day at one of Perths most incredible and popular attractions, showcasing the largest private collection of native wildlife in Western Australia. There is nothing like hand feeding the kangaroos before joining the interactive farm show, touch a possum or lizard, meet a wombat and have your photo taken with very cute koalas! BOOK NOW 7. Mandurah Dolphin and Canal Cruise $32

View spectacular wild dolphins, in their natural environment, on the pristine and calm inland Mandurah waterways with Mandurah Cruises. Less than an hour south of Perth and Mandurahs number one tourist attraction thisone hour Dolphin and Scenic Canal Cruise visits the world class Ocean Marina as well as the luxurious homes, with no expense spared, on the canals. BOOK NOW 8. Fremantle Tram Pass $28

Start your sightseeing tour at any of the six conveniently situated stops around the city. Your driver will provide an entertaining and informative commentary as we tour Fremantle City and allowing you to jump on and off where you feel the need to spend a little more time. With photo opportunities along the way we can ensure you will not miss anything that the historic port city of Fremantle has to offer. BOOK NOW 9. AQWA Aquarium $30

Enjoy exploring all of AQWAs stunning exhibits discovering WAs spectacular marine life as you explore Australias largest single aquarium. Encounter giant sharks, stingrays and turtles, meet rare, unique and deadly sea creatures. Touch a starfish or baby shark at our child friendly discovery pool plus experience the wonder of one of the worlds largest living coral reef exhibits, before relaxing by a coastal lagoon or enjoying our new toddler playground. BOOK NOW 10. Perth Coffee, Culture & Art Tour $40

The tour will explore the Heritage Precinct of Perth, the old theatre district as well as former educational precincts. Enjoy a coffee/tea at popular local cafe (included) and enjoy a wonderfully re-purposed heritage space in a forgotten area. Visit secret gardens, discover hidden artwhile learning some of the more interesting anecdotes about the city. BOOK NOW 11. Learn to Surf $40

Learn to surf in Perths northern suburbs! The lesson will take you through ocean awareness, surf safety and surfing technique. All lessons are conducted in a safe and controlled environment making the class the perfect way to ease you into the sport of surfing. All of our instructors absolutely love their job and their enthusiasm and teaching skills will ensure you have a great time. BOOK NOW 12.Twilight Cruise of the Swan River $35

There is no better way to finish your day than aboard a twilight cruise along the Swan River while enjoying sundowner drinks. The scenic cruise takes in the Old Swan Brewery and South Perth foreshore before heading upriver to bask in the glowing city skyline. A complimentary drink is included, along with light snacks available to purchase on board. BOOK NOW 13. Perth Optus Stadium $25

With views of the picturesque Swan River and Perth city in the west and the foothills in the east, this 60,000 seat, world-class, multi-purpose Stadium will host a variety of sports and entertainment events including Australian Football League, International and Big Bash League cricket, soccer, rugby league and union plus concerts. BOOK NOW 14. Live Pearl Harvest $15

Experience the wonder of a live pearl harvest and uncover the journey of the Pearl of Western Australia from shell to showroom at Elizabeth Quay. The most beautiful and valuable pearls in the world are grown in Western Australia and our live pearl harvests allow guests to have a truly unique experience, right in the heart of Perth city. BOOK NOW 15. Hop-On Hop-Off Bus $35

Tour around Perth and Kings Park on an iconic open top bus. No other tour vehicle can offer such a birds eye view of the top attractions. Take great photographs from the top deck no glass window to spoil the view! If you stay on all the way round, the tour takes approximately 2 hrs to complete. Or you can use the hop on hop off facility and make a whole day of it! BOOK NOW 16. Swan River Scenic Cruise $40

Cruise down the beautiful Swan River past all the sights including Perths impressive Bell Tower, the restored Swan Brewery, Kings Park, Royal Perth Yacht Club.See magnificent homes overlooking the river and Fremantles busy inner city harbour to explore Fremantles galleries, boutiques, colonial history and laid-back lifestyle. BOOK NOW 17. Caversham Wildlife Park with transfers $39

Spend the day at one of Perths most incredible attractions, showcasing the largest private collection of native wildlife in Western Australia with return transfers from Perth CBD hotels. Hand-feed the kangaroos, join the interactive farm show, touch a possum or lizard, meet a wombat and have your photo taken with koalas. BOOK NOW 18. Tree Top Climbing Adventure $45

Join Australias premier tree top adventureropes experience. Lane Poole Adventure Parks features a number of exciting and challenging obstacle courses high up in the tree canopy, that will have all the family swinging, leaping, climbing and flying through the forest allowing thrill seekers and nature enthusiasts to experience the trees like never before. BOOK NOW 19. Convicts & Colonials $45

This tour winds its way through Fremantle, which is renowned for its well preserved architectural heritage, including convict built colonial year buildings and one of the most notorious prisons in the British Empire, the World Heritage Listed Fremantle Prison. BOOK NOW 20. Oliver Hill Train & Tunnel Tour $29

Journey to the historical Oliver Hill Guns and Tunnels Fortification on board the unique Captain Hussey trolley train. This tour begins with an informative train ride passing some iconic and historical landmarks and a guided tour through the stunning tunnel system that once played a crucial role in Australias military defence World War II. Price excludes ferry fare to Rottnest Island. BOOK NOW Explore more of Perth and WA There are so manymore great Things to Do in Perth, luckily we have this latest guide to help. https://soperth.com.au/20-things-to-do-in-perth-for-under-50-25416

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