Out of every game I've ever played, Disco Elysium probably effected me the most. I played it when I was tired and stressed, unable to even speak to my family or friends, due to my throat being scarred to heal from surgery after months of illness, spending hours in bed exhausted and healing, with the streets of Martinaise being one of the few things able to distract me from the pain that the necessities of being alive caused me. Learning about Harry's self-destructive tendencies and my desire to see him get some form of a happy ending led me to identify my own self destructive tendencies.
I tried to do a second playthrough, and when I heard Tiger King in the Void, my mind got flooded with all of the memories of the game, and I just cried, the memories of how all that Harry went through and his desire to forget, the memories of the ways that I had hurt the ones I love wrapped up and forever linked to those same memories of this game, now forever in the back of my mind. And forever in the back of my mind is the possibility of getting better, that if someone like Harry could get better, than maybe an idiot like me could too.
And I did that second playthrough eventually, once I had healed and could speak again and eat without pain, tears at a stupid amazing song and all, and you know what, I saw something else in Disco Elysium that second time around that I missed the first time, something astounding.
I saw a world where everything that's could have gone wrong in the past did go wrong. A revolution to overthrow the old and decrepit monarchy and maybe make something new and beautiful in the world, only to be violently and completely crushed by an army bearing the name of Capitalism with the goal of crushing a dream that the world could be better, crushed for simply not fitting in with their algorithm. As for the people's present, well, that seems to suck, with corporations hiring and utilizing fascist paramilitary death squads with no regards for the people their hired goons so long as the line on the spreadsheet is black. As for the future, the only thing the people of Elysium are promised is an oblivion so absolute, the very concept of a world would cease to exist.
Beneath all that gloom and foretold oblivion, there was something astounding and something beautiful. Despite the world almost being designed for the ground up to inspire despair and apathy, the people of Disco Elysium have hope. They saw their dream crushed, murdered, and branded wrong to have even been dreamt to begin with, yet the people of Elysium have hope that it's a dream still possible and will do what it takes to make it a reality. They see armed thugs bearing the name of Capitalism with a banner branded with complacency and hatred for those who dream, and the people of Elysium simply go "we have each other, we can get through this together". They look to the future and see a promised oblivion, and yet refuse to despair, taking joy and beauty in what does exist, regardless of it's longevity. The people of Elysium looked into the void and decided they'd rather die than blink. The people of Elysium looked at a broken, dying world, one that has wronged them before and declared "there is something beautiful here, something worth doing and making". And that's beautiful
If Harry taught me to love myself, then Martinaise taught me to love the chaotic, fucked up, illogical, messy, kind, beautiful world that I live in.
Disco Elysium changed me, and I think it changed me for the better
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I ended up, like I do, listening back through the Disco Elysium soundtrack on youtube late at night. I’d put on La Revacholiere to pick myself up a bit before heading to bed (I’ve gone on at length about how moving that scene is to me, and the music sells it so perfectly), and was idly scrolling through the comments, when a post with line from the game I’d forgotten blindsided me.
“In honour of your will, lieutenant-yefreitor. That you kept from falling apart, in the face of sheer terror. Day after day. Second by second.“
And I just came the fuck apart.
It’s been a weird few days, politically. Unexpected wins for the fascists. Weird few weeks, really. Few months, years, decades, it feels like I’m struggling to get a breath sometimes. Like this was all supposed to let up, the xenophobia, the open violence, the grim ticking clock of a climate change that is already here, not to be prevented now but mitigated, wasn’t this supposed to stop? Eventually? Can’t you feel it?
And that’s, again, the small kindness of the game’s writing. For starting you as such a complete fuck-up, it commends you, both Harry and you, the person playing this game, for still getting up and putting on your shoes, and trying to do a little something even with all that existential weight on your shoulders.
As Harry, you don’t restore Revachol to its former glory. You don’t establish a socialist revolution. You don’t even save everybody in the shootout. But you help a little girl who’s cold. You hearten an old woman in a dark moment. You make a friend of patient man in round glasses who maybe doesn’t open up much. You don’t save everybody, but you save somebody.
And when you get shot, your body gives you a chance to die and just be done with it, and even knowing you’re coming back to a world of immense pain, you still say, “No, no thank you. I don’t think I’m quite done here.”
And that’s what I needed to hear. That in a world that can weigh an awful lot on you, it’s brave just to keep going.
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Coast Orb: Snow Shivers
WEST
More coast with abandoned buildings and piers
Pre-revolution effort to gentrify the coast
Coal city
Boom town from when revachol was powered mostly by coal
“in the shadow of Saint-Martin”
Supplanted by offshore petroleum and hydropower from Esperance
Infrastructure crumbled. Now a poor area “only the weakest remain”
Below the mines: L'Ossuaire Municipal, Revachol's underground cemetery
Les Petits rats attempt to to find Le Royaume (royal burial chambers)
EAST
Canal and Martinaise
[see PLAZA ORB] whitest part of town
Run-off point of a long forgotten canal
NORTH
Church
1 of 2 remaining stave churches
Originally of a set of 8 called Les Sept Souers “other six sisters were destroyed during the revolutions”
World’s end
Islets
Sea Fortress: The 114th Anti-Aircraft Division of the 4th Army of the Commune of Revachol
Résurrection: Popular spa for Ozonne residents
A couple of other islets scattered and uninhabited
Martinaise Inlet
Bay of Revachol
1200 m depth
Ozonne
SOUTH
8/81 - raised motorway
Separates Martinaise from Jamrock
Buildings under the motorway (Labyrinthine alleyways)
The Pox
Once a park for the Old Military Hospital
In the 20s was a quarantine center during measles outbreak
Abandoned after the outbreak
Completely wild now, overrun by feral dogs and wolves
Police keep deepest corners cordoned off
Precinct 41
Line of motor garages
Repurposed silk mill
Central Jamrock
Utility district - Library, florist, saramisizian restaurant
Brothels, drug dens and Zemlyaki(gang) chopshops
Built around lake formed by meteorite strike [Ship in the middle]
Below
sand poisoned with industrial run-off. The storm drainage. Hidden bunkers
NOTES: This is unfortunately the last of the notes I had written ahead of time so things may move slower. Hopefully I've made enough posts that you all can understand the format I'm going for. Joyce's Reality Lowdown is going to take a long time to work through
Shivers - Winter, slow to let go of Revachol, flecks some more wet snow from above...
You - Look around you.
Shivers - The snow falls lazily, making the beach sand paler still, mixing with the rust-coloured sewage run-off.
Shivers - And to think -- it seemed as though it were already spring.
You - How does it feel?
Shivers - Your teeth chatter as the snow melts on your exposed skin, running down your chest and your back in icy rivulets. To distract yourself, you look around...
Replaced with "Your teeth chatter as the snow melts on your exposed skin, running down your chest and your back in icy rivulets. The toes of your one bare foot are growing numb. To distract yourself, you look around..." if HasShoes() == false and (CheckEquipped("shoes_snakeskin_left") or CheckEquipped("shoes_snakeskin_right"))
Replaced with "Your teeth chatter as the snow melts on your exposed skin, running down your chest and your back in icy rivulets. Your bare feet are growing numb. To distract yourself, you look around..." if HasShoes() == false
You - What's in the west?
Shivers - More winding coastline lined with abandoned buildings. Crumbling piers, salt water lapping at their dark piles. Grey and red, forgotten city blocks. What remains of the pre-revolutionary effort to gentrify the coast.
You - And beyond that?
Shivers - The waters turn black. Coal City in the shadow of Saint-Martin, a boom town, back when coal extracted from countless shafts near the city was needed to power Revachol.
Shivers - No more. The coal was supplanted by petroleum from the ocean floor and hydropower from the Esperance. Everything crumbled. These days, only the weakest remain in Coal City. Their hopes of getting rich linger in the defunct shafts under their feet.
You - What is there?
Shivers - Below the old mines -- L'Ossuaire Municipal, Revachol's underground cemetery. *Les petits rats* brave the underground passageways, trying to get to Le Royaume...
You - Le Royaume...
Shivers - ...where the Filippian kings were interred, with their doctors and their admirals. Mausoleums, burial chambers, leaf gold still remains on the Double Door of the Morning.
You - That's where Cuno said he's gonna go...
Shivers - Yes. To peel the gold off with his fingernails.
You - Les *petits rats*...
Shivers - Children under 14. They go underground, looking for artefacts to sell to foreign museums -- and for fabled relics. Their parents let them. They go deeper...
You - Deeper...
Shivers - ...after rubies, melchiorite, lapis lazuli plundered from Safre and Seol during the time of the Suzerain. In the burial chambers of the kings: Grand Old Filippe, Guillaume II, and even in the mausoleum of Filippe the Opulent.
Shivers - Two kilometres underground, in a winding shaft along whose walls mirrors have been placed so that daylight may eternally fall upon the richest of all the kings.
Shivers - The mausoleum contains untold quantities of gold -- and that special, purest-of-the-pure magenta cocaine favoured by Revacholian royalty.
Electrochemistry - Did someone say *untold quantities of cocaine*? Drop everything immediately and go looking for this hoard!
Logic - How can it be pure if it's magenta?
You - Wipe the snow from your shoulder.
Shivers - Few *petits rats* return from the shafts -- and even fewer find what they're looking for. A small child steps out of a black tunnel, with silver trinkets in her pockets.
Shivers - All around her, white snow on the extinguished coke furnaces, and on the weather-worn shacks, where fathers beat their sons after drinking. The snow melts on your fingers, turning to water.
You - What's in the east?
Shivers - The canal you crossed to get here, and beyond it -- Martinaise proper, the district the police forgot to police. There is laughter, lights, attempts at entrepreneurial activity, cynicism.
Shivers - Someone is scraping snow off their windshield. At the roundabout, in the midst of which a statue of Filippe the III serves as a destination for grade-school field trips and a fine perch for winter birds.
You - And further...
Shivers - A fenced-off yard. There's a truck belonging to a logistics company parked next to the gate. Bright light from a building behind the fence reflects off its hood.
Replaced with "A fenced-off yard. There's a truck belonging to a logistics company parked next to the gate. You've seen it. Bright light from a building behind the fence reflects off its hood." if Variable["jam.dlc_truck_shivers_orb_done"]
Replaced with "A fenced-off yard. There's a truck belonging to a logistics company parked next to the gate. You've heard about it. Bright light from a building behind the fence reflects off its hood." if Variable["village.idiot_cocaine_dlc"]
Conceptualization - Clean white light, coming from the windows of a clean cube-shaped office building hidden amidst ruins. A secret...
You - What's in the north?
Shivers - The abandoned church. One of two remaining stave churches which were collectively called les Sept Soeurs. The other six sisters were destroyed during the Revolution.
You - And further north?
Shivers - A serpentine strip of land weaving its way into the Martinaise inlet. Unfortunates on the run -- from the law, from themselves -- sometimes hide out on nearby islets. Little dots in the ocean that are occasionally submerged when the tide is high and the weather foul.
You - And on the islets?
Shivers - The remains of a camp on a jagged piece of rock -- a tent, old dishes and cutlery. Long since abandoned. A hermit crab scuttles among the debris, looking for a new shell.
Shivers - Further out, the lights burn bright on Résurrection; way beyond Martinaise -- a popular spa destination for ample-bodied Ozonne kids with equally ample pockets.
You - And on the other side of the inlet?
Shivers - Then there's Ozonne... but the snow falls too thick. You cannot see that far.
You - Before that? Before the curtains are drawn...
Shivers - The Bay of Revachol, vastness, great depth -- over 1200 m at its deepest. Water, air brinier than here. It is crisscrossed by huge cargo ships bearing company logos: Wild Pines, ZAMM, Moriyn.
Shivers - And, at the farthest reaches of the Bay of Revachol -- the shadow of Coalition Warship Archer, on perpetual patrol duty, ready to unleash artillery fire if you were to rise up against the market. You shudder.
You - What's in the south?
Shivers - The raised motorway, 8/81, separating Martinaise from Jamrock. Vehicles whoosh past one another day and night, while those who reside in the labyrinthine alleyways beneath the motorway attempt to carry on with their lives in the snow and the slush. And south of the 8/81 is the Pox.
You - The Pox...
Shivers - ...was once a park, a place for reflection and recuperation for the patients of the Old Military Hospital. In the Twenties, it was used as a quarantine centre during a measles outbreak that killed many children. Most everyone has avoided the hospital and surrounding park ever since.
Shivers - The Pox is completely wild now. Evergreen thickets covered in snow and industrial dust. Feral dogs and even wolves roaming in packs. The police try to keep the deepest corners cordoned off.
You - But still...
Shivers - ...heavy drug users do slip through and hole up in the Old Military Hospital, hoping to find something to get high on among the hastily abandoned supplies. Or just to overdose in peace.
You - Further south...
Shivers - A line of motor garages with armoured carapaces, hunched in the cold. A mechanic is hard at work, patching up bullet holes in the side of a Coupris 40. These are the garages of Precinct 41. Snow settles on the roof of the re-purposed silk mill that serves as your station. Shivering RCM personnel hurry in and out of the main entrance.
Mack Torson - "Wonder if Vic's found his hetero-sexual life partner yet." The man in the fishnet wifebeater looks over at Chester McLaine.
Chester McLaine - "Damn, I don't know. Even a real *bröderbund* like that can't survive everything..."
Shivers - Around you, the snow continues to fall. To the west, the ocean swells.
You - No, it was home. I want more.
Shivers - The stairs descend -- to Central Jamrock. A man named Kuklov has a snow-covered stall there, in the market across the bridge. He sells kebab infested with fly larvae to your colleagues who believe eating it will make them immune to food poisoning.
Shivers - Snow falls on the utility district: the library, the florist, the Saramirizian restaurant that offers homemade wine. And also on the brothels and drug dens, and the chop shops of the zemlyaki.
Shivers - All of this built around a lake that formed in a meteorite strike. At the centre of this lake, there is a little ship. There are lights at the bottom of its hull. They are lights directed toward the sea floor, looking for something, like whiskers...
You - For what?
Shivers - A chill comes over you, crawling down your back. The sand under your feet is wet. Somewhere in the south, tarpaulin flap in the wind.
You - What's below me?
Shivers - Layer upon layer of sand poisoned with industrial run-off. The storm drainage. Hidden bunkers. Rats scuttle...
You - Tell me a secret of the sands, wind.
Shivers - Someone's stuffed a big old polar anorak into a concrete pipe under the boardwalk. It would keep you warm. You will probably never happen across it, but who knows.
You - Stomp your feet for warmth, brushing off the snow. [Finish thought.]
Kim Kitsuragi - "We should keep moving. Who knows when this snow will let up?"
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