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dhampiravidi · 1 year

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to those who have an issue w/drag (& tbh, queer/nonconforming people in general)

TL;DR: please don't follow me if you are the above. I'd be supporting ignorance. Here's my explanation.

Brief background (on me & my stance): I was born AFAB, to parents who, for most of my childhood, either took no stance or a liberal stance in conversations that became politicized/publicized by the media. My school didn't talk about politics until President Obama was elected (& ofc his election was seen as a historic, positive moment). Anyway, no one talked about sexuality, biological sex, or gender identity--all of which are different, sometimes overlapping topics.

Then my mom happened to have a young student who had 2 dads. I was confused. When they'd hug or kiss (nothing graphic, just regular couple stuff), I felt...weird. No, not aroused OR disgusted--I was maybe 8 at the time, anyway. But I was definitely not used to seeing or hearing about gay people. Whenever that good ol' scene where 2 sexy college girls kiss to appease a bunch of boys came on the TV, my mom would roll her eyes. When 2 men would kiss in a different scene, my dad would make an excuse and leave. Long story short, until I literally Googled what it was to be queer, I didn't understand what I had seen. I'd learn that my mom supported all queer people (going as far as to publicly support a student's efforts to transition in high school) and my dad, who is still learning, grew up exposed to extremely heteronormative ideals.

Now we get to my identities.

I started to question my sexuality at 10, but I wasn't "sure"* that I was bisexual/pansexual (I don't mind either term; yes, I "can" be attracted to trans people) until I was 12. Unfortunately, my parents initially tried to ignore my realization. They didn't want to talk about it. But I had friends who came out at the same time. (I was also a very salty high schooler.) So I kept pushing and pushing for the discussion, because I had a right to be heard. I had a right to be myself and not lie about who I was. My parents had always talked about how I should be proud to be a smart Black woman, so...I ran with that. I am lucky to have a family who (finally) accepts my sexuality.

Again, I'm AFAB. I don't mind my genitalia. I hate my body, but that (for me) is tied to my mental health, as I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (I inherited a disposition to this), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (the result of several environmental and self-imposed factors), and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (due to some trauma experienced outside my home). I have thought about having traditionally-male genitalia, but I don't think I personally need it to be happy. However, I acknowledge that this is just how I feel, and it doesn't take away from how others feel.

I didn't even think much about my own gender until the last year or so. I only knew that I had always been unhappy with my social life. I currently have a badass handful of buddies who I love SO MUCH, but I still sometimes feel...wrong. When I look in the mirror, I don't just feel ugly. I don't think I look human. I hung out with boys throughout elementary school and I (mostly via the CW and Disney Channel) was exposed to a lot of what some call the "male gaze". For example, I remember all the shows that featured a girl (usually the male characters' crush(es)) getting splashed with water--enough so her petite hourglass form would show through her then-transparent clothes. So I had an idea of what beauty was. Somehow, I also had an idea of what being cool/handsome (my words for "beautiful in a masculine way" back then) was: toned muscles, the ability to intimidate anyone, wearing tight clothes, etc. Anyway, I started school early, meaning that until maybe the end of middle school, I was always shorter than everyone else. I didn't mind being called cute all the time, until my friends were getting asked out as teenagers. Suddenly, I wanted to be seen as attractive. I ended up basing my self-image on how many people had crushes on me (which appeared to be zero, according to how many people turned me down). My point is, I believed that I had to be pretty for men. Then I realized that I liked women TOO, which irritated me because even when I came out, it saddened me that I still wasn't getting asked out (despite me supposedly having TWO TIMES the chance to find love, in my mind). In the end...I found that I identify as nonbinary. I'm agender, possibly genderfluid, because I don't understand OR want to conform to society's standards for gender (at least, in the USA). (Also, a bunch of the people I had crushes on years ago were actually insensitive jerks, but that's not the point.)

Elon Musk has said one thing that I might actually agree with. Said loosely, he asked why people are bothering to look so closely at gender when we claim that Western Civilization has come so far in terms of gender roles. Why DO people have a problem if someone who is AMAB wears a dress or a skirt? Kilts are part of Celtic culture, for both men and women. The Ancient/Classical Greek civilization that is so revered by so many countries had a garment called the chiton, a knee-length tunic worn by both men and women. Plenty of cultures throughout human history have worn ceremonial and/or optional makeup. Why DO some Americans still take issue with men teaching kids in elementary school? Is that any worse than a woman becoming President of the United States?

I was inspired to write this because of all the recent ideological and legislative attacks on human rights, specifically those of trans people and/or drag performers. I thought about the friends I have who identify as trans, and who have expressed their joy at discovering their identity. They are so relieved and happy and they have the most beautiful smiles when they detail their journeys. Their happiness isn't hurting anyone. I also thought about drag in general. I haven't been to a live drag show (yet), but I've seen the show Legendary (a dance show featuring drag, among other elements of queer culture) as well as the Netflix documentary Disclosure (a film about how trans people have historically been depicted in media). Drag is art, and for some, it's a lifestyle. It might be a kink or fetish for some people, in the same way that intercrural sex or lingerie might be. What it is NOT is a way that people commonly commit crimes--as the media has often claimed in the past, by showing AMAB "transvestite" serial killers wearing dresses to seduce their victims. It is NOT encouraging children to have sex at horribly young ages. And as many have explained, a drag queen is most definitely no more dangerous than a person (of ANY gender) purchasing an automatic weapon. If anything, seeing someone in drag perform can be an awesome learning experience for kids. They'll be exposed to a marginalized community that they may find themselves as part of as an adult. They won't grow up like I did, feeling like something is wrong with them just because they didn't know their identity existed.

I am not perfect and I do not claim to be. I had to do a lot of research to learn what I know about various communities. I still research online and ask (thoughtful) questions when members of these communities allow it. Until this year, I had no idea that some nonbinary people choose to get top surgery and/or begin hormone therapy because they like the way it helps others view them as more androgynous individuals. I did not know how much hormone therapy could cost (it's a heartbreaking reality, considering the meaning behind the whole process). I did not know that drag, something that I always saw as a fabulous form of self-expression and pure happiness, would be demonized by so many people.

I don't think this IS an opinion, but uh:

Gender Identities: woman, man, agender, nonbinary, two-spirit (term exclusive to Indigenous North Americans), etc.

Sexualities: gay, straight, queer, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, etc.

Sex: AFAB/female, AMAB/male, intersex.

People who are transgender are absolutely valid, whether or not they get and/or disclose their thoughts on personal sexual reassignment surgery. The term transgender is difficult to evaluate as a word because it's somewhere between gender identity and sex. In English, we say that someone identifies as trans, but someone who is a transwoman, for example, is someone AMAB (or possibly intersex) who identifies as a woman. But again, these people still exist and deserve just as much respect as anyone else.

No one hates people who grew up unaware of the queer community. The problem are those who hate queer people for simply being different--in essence, for those who pose a threat to the fantasy of a forever-heteronormative society that promotes unrealistic ideals.

*stuff in parentheses includes terms that you may not agree with, but it's how the mainstream media and groups I've interacted with define certain concepts. I'm sorry if the phrasing isn't perfect--despite my Master's and Bachelor's in various sections of the English Department, choosing the correct words to define feelings is still difficult.

#admin #pride month #queer rights #queer represention #lgbtqia #lgbtq+

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kedreeva · 2 years

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Saw a really shitty post today about how fanfic writing shouldn’t be taught in school because it’s ‘just paint by numbers’ as if all a fanfic author has to do is fill in a fucking Mad Libs sheet.

So I’m here to be a little angry about it!

Fanfiction absolutely SHOULD be taught as some part of creative writing classes (which let’s be real, is creative writing even a standard class in middle/high school anymore? probably not). This isn’t to say it should REPLACE anything, but rather that it has intrinsic value as a form of writing, and deserves to be exposed and discussed as one of the tools and styles a writer has in their inventory of skills, as well as discussed with regards to its prevalence in the wider culture of story telling.

Why?

Because fanfiction is actually really fucking common in so-called “original” fiction, and it works in a way completely different than original fiction, which means the skills involved in making it are not quite the same, either. And those skills have VALUE.

Think about all of the remakes of stories people have told over the years; every single AU rendition of plays written by Shakespeare aren’t The Original Play. Think of how many times Romeo and Juliet has played out in various media, without being word-for-word performances in Original Garb on a stage! That’s a modern AU, baby! Think about all the sequels to or spinoffs of stories that aren’t written by the original creator- technically those are just canon compliant stories, or canon divergences someone has permission to write. They’re what happens when someone gets paid to ask “think about this story someone else wrote, and tell me what happens next.” Think about “reboots” of media- things like Star Trek 2009, which wasn’t written by Gene Roddenberry- it’s an alternate timeline AU. Think about all the various versions of something like Sherlock- the original author didn’t write any of those. Just because it’s public domain now doesn’t mean all of the various media created with those characters aren’t fanfiction. They are! They technically are!! Think about the new set of movies being created where a common story is being told from the villain’s POV, like Maleficent! That shit’s fanfiction, too!!

Fanfiction is already deeply ingrained in our media, it’s just not called that. The difference is the amount of money and the permission involved. That’s it!

So yes!! we should!! be teaching kids!!! about fanfiction!! It is useful knowledge!! It is ABSOLUTELY worthwhile to show kids that a story doesn’t have to be 100% unique to be worth telling. There are only a handful of stories, at the core of them, that are ever told- what matters is how you tell it. What matters is THAT you tell it, rather than getting snagged on the concern that you must tell a story no one else has told before. Even if all a teacher does is teach kids that fanfiction exists and what it is, that’s worthwhile knowledge for kids to have, to know that it is an option!

And aside from that aspect, I mentioned the skills- I’m not talking about college here (although I think it has a place at least in discussion there, as well), I’m talking about actual children here. Middle school, high school maybe. Children who OFTEN have less than 1 hour in a classroom to perform exercises and learn about how to write stories while they’re also having 5+ other subjects crammed down their throats and homework and other stuff taking up their time. They know nothing! They are babies and they have a lot going on!! Are you going to tell me that it’s better to expect literal children to perform all of the complex tasks that go into creating a group of characters, their motivations, the settings, the plotline, etc all at once in a short amount of time, when so many grown ass adults have trouble with doing that on a much more relaxed scale? Well you’re wrong!!

Because you know what’s easier than expecting kids to take a small slice of time and do all the work to create entirely from scratch? Asking kids to take something they’re already excited about, and look at it in a fresh light. Hey kids, those characters you like, put them into a storyline you invent. Hey kids, you know that world you really enjoyed? Imagine some original characters in that world, and write a little story about it. You know that storyline you really liked? Make up some characters and a setting to tell that storyline in your own way. You know this story we read? Write that from a different character’s POV (which teaches people how to consider side characters as whole characters, not props!!).

Let them have fun!! Let them get excited about writing so that they keep doing it!! They have an entire lifetime ahead of them to learn how to put together all of the parts into one whole, original piece, if that’s even what they want to do. That should even be part of the class, saying okay, we wrote by creating some of the elements ourselves, now it’s time for you to create all of the elements and tell a piece that is just yours! Hell. Combine the characters you created with that storyline you liked and put them in the world you made, a little at a time!!

And not just that, but someone recently wrote a much longer piece I will try to paraphrase here, but one of the major things fanfiction does for writers that original fiction has a MUCH harder time teaching someone.... is about tropes. Original fiction has tropes, but fanfiction uses them, often to fantastic effect, as a central component. For kids, fanfiction would be a GREAT way to learn what a trope is, and how it can be used, how it can’t be used, what it is for, when it can be subverted, etc. Fanfiction is BUILT on tropes, a lot of the time. You could absolutely teach trope use to kids by teaching them about fanfiction and how fanfiction uses them, and how that relates to their use in original fiction, which would absolutely help them learn how to recognize what tool they are using when they write original stuff.

Which is all to say that there is VALUE in learning the parts of story writing a little at a time when you’re a kid!!!! There is VALUE in learning what a tool even is on its own before you’re expected to be an expert with using it!! It’s okay for kids to be given a break and allowed to write stories without having to invent everything themselves in the limited time they have for that one class that may or may not even span a whole semester!! It’s GREAT to teach kids that writing can be fun, to get them excited to write AT ALL because they get to write about things they already know and love!!

And you know what??? it’s okay for adults to learn that way too, and it’s okay for them to decide actually they like telling stories that way and it’s okay for them to just do that forever if they want. Not everyone wants to be a professional, published author and have to do writing for a job. Saying that original fiction is the only writing of value to school-age kids is just so blindingly capitalist and snobby. Of course original fiction has value in school, but it’s not the only kind of writing out there, and it’s not the only kind of storytelling that has value. There is value in making writing fun for kids in multiple ways.

#fanfiction #wank for ts #writing #dash stretcher

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salmonthestoryteller · 5 years

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All About Isobel

I’ll admit Isobel is my fav character. I honestly didn’t expect that to happen. She definitely wasn’t among my fav in the OG series, nor at the start of the book series. (Though, like RNM the book series version seems to be winning me over.) Somewhere along the line, though, I was like - yah, nope, everybody else move a slot down, Isobel is claiming my top character spot.

If there’s one thing I love about Isobel it is how important Max and Michael are to her. It seems to be why some people hate her. To me, though, it’s one of the reasons I adore her character. These are her brothers and if you hurt them she will end you. The world can freakin’ burn, she is going to protect these two with all she has in her.

It isn’t surprising either, and I want to back up and look at her backstory first, especially with everything we learned in the last two episodes of the season. So, yes, considering her plot involving both the Drifter and Noah, fair warning that some of the content may be triggering.

So there is at least two instances where Isobel is able to call out to Michael, one shared with Max, while completely unconscious. We know Max and Isobel have their twin connection which Max describes as a “warm presence” with him all the time. But the fact that she called to Michael twice shows that at some level she has to be telepathically connected to him as well.

They emerge from the pods at age seven, and are found by the highway. From there they end up in a group home. Now, to my understanding a group home is not a foster family. It is the modern day equivalent to an orphanage, with several adults looking after a group of children. From there they are adopted by the Evans almost right away. They still aren’t even speaking yet when they go with them. Max and their mother discuss the fact that it took them months to talk. And that when they did, they did so immediately with no trouble. As if they’d been waiting to learn the whole language before speaking.

Michael, as we know, is left behind and doesn’t return to their lives until they are eleven. However, Isobel probably could sense that he was missing the whole time. She couldn’t say who was missing, because they hadn’t had words or names when they were separated. She couldn’t say “Michael is missing” - she just knew someone was. This is probably where Isobel’s fear of losing those she cares about first stems from. An experience she couldn’t even fully explain at the time.

I have no doubt that when they found each other again at eleven, it was one of the best days of their lives to Isobel. Because, to her, Michael is her brother. There’s no ifs in that to Isobel. Michael says they aren’t family, Max tells Michael he isn’t his family in a moment of anger, but to Isobel the fact that Michael is her brother is indisputable. It’s plain fact. It’s there in the way she treats him, in how she is willing to rely on him and trust him, and even how she speaks. Not even the big statements like, “We’re a family.” In small ways like how she refers to Max in 1x03 as “Our brother.”

Fast forward a few years. (In 1x06 I thought it was their thirteenth birthday as it was 2004 and they are said to be 17 in 2008, but in 1x12 Max says Isobel was fourteen so I guess if their “birthday” was summer it's three years later?) It seems like - compared to Max - Michael protected Isobel much more from the abuse he was suffering. It doesn’t seem as if she has an understanding of just how bad things were. The look on her face when he tells her the story of always going to Foster Homestead Ranch and his reasons why are further proof. Isobel knew he wasn’t as lucky as them, but she was at a loss at how bad he truly had it. How alone he truly felt. Which I think was on purpose on Michael’s part. It’s also why she’s probably closer to their mother than Max was. She doesn’t seem to harbor the same resentment to their parents that Max felt for them not taking Michael in. I think she’s closer to Ann because when she thinks she’s dying she tells Max, “We should call Mom.” Not their parents. “Mom.”

However, Ann still says they both kept her at arms length to Max. That they, not him but they, didn’t let her be a mom. I don’t think this was true as much when they were younger. I’m guessing the separation for Isobel and Ann occured when Isobel hit puberty. Because - think about this for a moment - Isobel is an alien. She knows this. She knows she has powers others don’t. That her biology isn’t quite the same. (Acetone, hello.) And she had to go through puberty with not only no grown woman to talk to it about, but not even another girl her own age. She couldn’t ask her mom if certain things happening were normal or not - because there was no way of knowing what was alien “normal.” And if it turned out it wasn't human normal, and she brought it up she risked exposing them. Puberty is a pretty sucky thing already, and Isobel probably felt twice as isolated during it because she just damn didn’t know what was or wasn’t normal for their species. In that Max and Michael at least had each other. I doubt Isobel felt comfortable talking to her brothers about periods, cramps, etc.

And in the middle of this whole very isolating confusing time for her comes the Drifter. It’s pretty clear what his intentions were when he grabbed her, though it is not made clear how far he got. Isobel is still clothed, so I don’t think he raped her, but I have no doubt he touched her before Max and Michael got here. And remember something else - Isobel is a telepath. A telepath who they already knew could make others do things. If she at all tried to touch the Drifter’s mind there’s no saying what was said in Mindspace to her.

Worse, this is when her telepathic scream brings her to Noah’s attention. Between the Drifter’s attack and witnessing Max kill him, Isobel shuts down. The trauma is too much for her to handle, and she retreats inside her mind. Noah takes the opportunity to connect to her that night, and he never lets go of that connection until his death. Max said that she continued to have black outs after the attack, and Noah mentions how that allowed him to see through her eyes. How soon he was able to start to use her body to move around is unclear. And we are also unclear on what all influences Noah had on her otherwise.

Noah speaks of their connection several times. We know he can control her actions when she is unconscious or withdrawn into her mind, but how deep did that connection run? Max is concerned about Liz’s ability to consent when his mark is on her. Noah has had his mind connected to Isobel’s since she was fourteen. We cannot say how much that affected her - if she ever had complete autonomy after that night or if a part of her was always affected by Noah’s feelings and desires.

However, one thing is very much true - and that’s that after that night Isobel didn’t trust anyone who wasn’t Max or Michael for years. There was never a time when the people around her weren’t listed as “potentially dangerous”. We see that in how she reacts to everything, both in her teen years and even as an adult. She kept everyone else at arms length. Through barbs; through a mask of perfection. The reason Isobel didn’t care about using her powers as a teen?

Because as long as other people were doing what she wanted she was safe.

This is someone who never feels safe. Hasn’t been able to regain that feeling since that night in the desert. The only place she felt remotely at ease was around Max and MIchael. Isobel is clearly supposed to be the Queen Bee in high school, yet she goes to prom with her brothers. Why? Because Isobel didn't trust anyone else. It’s why she kept withdrawing into herself and having blackouts as graduation approached. If Max and Michael left - how was she ever going to feel safe? She had devoted her life to her brothers, because she knew she could trust them. They would protect her, no matter what. They’d already proven it. Everybody else was suspect.

Only now her brother were becoming suspect. If they were going to leave her to fend for herself, what did she have left? It’s clear from her lash out, “What am I supposed to do?” that Isobel had no plans right then for her future. She doesn’t know what she’s going to do once Michael and Max leave - she never once mentions college herself. And, actually, it seems her brothers have no idea either. During the argument all Max says is “Live your life.” There’s nothing there about anything Isobel might want or suggested she would do after graduation. If Max and Michael had this argument, that line would have involved, “What are you talking about? You’re leaving for Albuquerque/You’re running off to Europe.” For Isobel the best Max has to offer is “Live your life"?

This is actually where the fact that Roswell is supposed to be a small town probably plays a big part. Because Isobel is the only girl among the three aliens. It’s not surprising that in a small town Isobel’s lack of plans to go to college or pursue a career is never brought up. The notion of girls staying home with the parents, working local jobs or simply getting married is still quite common. From what we’ve seen, it’s actually what happens to Isobel after graduation, though that hasn’t completely been made clear yet.

One big thing did happen first, though. The murders. Things change that night for Isobel in a very big way. Until now Isobel has relied on her brother’s for protection. After the cover up Isobel finds herself in a new role - One of protector.

To her, Michael may have killed Rosa, Jasmin, and Kate - but he is very much not to blame for it. Think of the story Michael tells her. He got into a fight and his hand was smashed. He says he got drunk, but it's not like Michael could have gone to a hospital. What is the only painkiller they have? Acetone. To her, Michael was medicating himself because he had no way to receive the care he needed. Then, drunk on the acetone, he ran into the other car and lost control of his powers. He was drunk and in pain and alone and he lashed out to protect himself. She may believe Michael killed them, but she doesn’t blame him. If anything, she probably blames herself for blacking out and not being there when he needed her.

Then, a few days later, Max starts talking about telling Liz the truth. Think about what this looks like from Isobel’s perspective. Max is choosing some crush over Michael. Michael, who buried the Drifter for him and kept his secret all these years. He’s literally going to get Michael arrested, maybe even get them all killed if they find out what he is, because he cares about some girl more than their brother. Is it any wonder she decides to go into Liz’s mind and tell her to stay away from Max?

However, I feel it's hinted at that Max kinda broke down after Liz left. Isobel mentions something that sounds like a reference in a conversation with Michael in 1x02:

“Max is shutting me out. I thought maybe you could talk to him. Something is wrong with him, Michael. And when that happened the last time, you were the only one he would open up to.”

I think seeing how using her powers on Liz affected Max really drove home what her powers were capable of to Isobel. She’d never used her powers against her brothers in such a way. I don’t think she ever used her powers to negatively affect those she cared about. Others were free game, but anything that could hurt those she loved was off limits. And this is Max, her person as she calls him to Noah, and her using her powers has hurt him. She tells Michael, “I don’t do that anymore.” While it’s unclear when she stopped, my guess is that it was after she used them on Liz.

Then, while we can’t be certain how soon it happened, she met Noah. She probably felt an instant trust in him because - hello - Noah was in her literal head. She didn’t know why she felt safe with him, but he was the first person aside from Max and Michael who made her feel that way. So she dated him, fell in love, got married.

All of this is disturbing enough, because essentially Noah has been grooming Isobel since she was fourteen and then he seeks her out physically and marries her once he gets out of the pod. But what also bothers me is we don’t see any hint that Isobel is romantically with anyone else in the past. She teases Max about Tess, Michael mentions dates limiting options, but Isobel is not shown with anyone. The only feelings of desire Isobel experiences that we are shown is Noah’s for Rosa through her flashbacks, and her and Noah’s relationship. There is literally nobody else that is even mentioned. Every other character we get some mention of an ex or potential love interest, even Rosa. But Isobel has only Noah.

Over the same time period, she witnessed Max and Michael’s friendship fall apart with no idea why. She didn’t understand what was happening between them. This was her family and now they were barely speaking. She had her new position, though, and she wasn’t going to let them down. She was going to be the one who was strong; the one who protected them and looked after them. She devoted herself to that, and despite some bumps along the way, I don’t think she felt she failed at it. She never knew Max was unhappy - he didn’t seem to show that to her after he got his act together. She says as much to Noah in 1x03. She thought Michael let his life fall apart because he’d killed three girls and couldn’t forget. She tried to be there for him - she never cut him out of her life. She had no idea how to make things better, but she made sure she was there if he needed her. We know this because Noah doesn’t just list Max when Isobel says she had something to take care of - he lists Michael too.

Then Liz comes back into town, and everything changes. It’s little wonder she views Liz as a threat. Remember, Isobel never feels safe - everyone is a threat. Liz most of all - Max almost turned on Michael and her for Liz once before. Max was devastated after losing her the first time and now it's going to happen again. And while people like to say Isobel is overprotective and out of line for constantly lecturing Max about her - is she wrong? Liz is using Max’s feelings because she’s searching for the truth, Liz does want revenge for Rosa. Liz's history doesn't look like someone she would trust with her brother's happiness.

Isobel isn’t just using her powers for kicks. She goes after Liz to protect her family. She practices at Maria’s bar because she thinks she needs to strengthen her abilities. If she fails - how will she ever keep Michael safe now that Liz knows an alien killed Rosa? She isn’t thinking there’s some big secret to why Maria hates her - she probably thinks the reason is small and petty. She doesn’t know Maria. Then everything becomes strange - because why did Rosa hate her? Rosa was two years older than them - she was long gone from high school by the time Isobel would have been the head of Roswell High’s Mean Girls. It makes no sense - she almost never interacted with her. Why would someone hate her she didn’t even know?

It’s no wonder the “truth” about the murders affects Isobel so deeply. She’s spent ten years viewing the deaths as a terrible accident. Now they are murders - actual murders - that she herself committed. And she doesn’t know why. She does know that for some reason Rosa hated her. But Rosa, Kate, and Jasmin weren't even a blip on her radar before the murders. Why would she suddenly kill them? She's spent her whole life afraid of others and now she can't even trust herself.

Then the flashbacks start after the cure. She has no reason to doubt them - they're her own memories. What's more is that they probably make sense to her. There were probably days she was sick of the front she put on to keep others at a distance. And here are these flashbacks saying she let down that guard with someone - with Rosa. And it seems like it was a wonderful thing - Rosa didn't let her down. She was safe. Maybe she even loved her? It's everything teen Isobel always wanted. She and Michael discuss it:

"I used to look in the sky when we were kids, and hope something up there would save me."

"I used to look around at the people of this town and hope for the same thing."

She feels invested in this now. She had a close friend, the only truly close female friend she ever had as far as we see, maybe she even had a secret romance. Then she finds out the horrifying truth that it was never her at all. She never had that friendship, and what's worse? Noah used her to attack an innocent girl. Just like she was attacked when she was fourteen. Only Rosa didn't have Max and Michael to save her.

Isobel's face off with Noah is painful because it truly is the worst betrayal imaginable. Isobel doesn't let people close. Isobel doesn't trust. She did with Noah, when the truth is she never should have. He was the one she should have been protecting herself from.

I am glad they gave us her final Mindscape conversation with Noah. It may be a lie that she never loved him, but what truly mattered wasn't whether she loved him or not. What mattered was facing him and letting him know he no longer had control of her. She was done with him.

The season ends with Isobel exploding the picture frame with her mind. And while I'm excited to see her expand her powers, I am concerned for her in s2. The truth about Noah has already taken away one of her shelters. Losing Max? That is literally one of her greatest fears come to life.

In pursuit of feeling safe again - in protecting what she has left? There's really no saying what path Isobel might take.

#roswell new mexico #isobel evans #meta #headcanons #I have lots of Isobel feels #why can't you let izzy be happy

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thotyssey · 6 years

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On Point With: Robyn Banks

A drag performer, recording artist and truly independent spirit, New York-born Robyn Banks is a queen who plays by her own rules. A lover of performing, she’s someone we’re going to be seeing--and hearing--for some time to come!

Thotyssey: Robyn, hello! Thanks for talking to us! So, DragCon has come and gone... did you partake?

Robyn Banks: Yasss! I went for Day Two as well as Day Three. Day Two was AMAZING! I also was there with Drag Queen Story Hour, so that made it even more special.

You’re a Story Hour queen?

Yes. I just actually had my one year anniversary with them.

Congratulations! They've done great work with exposing kids to both gender fluidity and literacy. Isn't it great to do important things as a queen besides just entertaining folks in bars all the time?

I really enjoy it. It’s one of those things where you really get to see how smart children are. Every time I do a reading, I am just either amazed or super emotional. I actually enjoy when I have a reading, and then a bar gig in the same day.

We have some bar gigs to talk about! But first, let's get the background on you! Where are you from, and what were you like as a kid?

I was born and raised in Harlem, New York. As a child, I was always very outgoing. I wanted to be on TV so bad, so I would do and say things from shows such a Buffy, Saved by the Bell, Charmed, etc.

I had a really good childhood. I hated being active, though... the thought of hurting myself was the scariest thing ever. So I never rough-played with the boys--always played Double Dutch or hopscotch with the girls.

My teenage years, I went to Harvey Milk High School, which at the time was an all-gay high school (now it’s an alternative school). I discovered drag there, and was always in the halls filming things with my flip cam. I graduated school president. Then I went to college for early childhood education. So, working with children is something I’ve always wanted to do!

Were you always musical?

Yes. So my mom plays a ton of instruments, and my dad is still a DJ. My mom taught me the beauty of hearing music, and taking a song apart and just hearing everything about a song individually. I was obsessed with Mad TV, and I loved when they did music video parodies. And I wanted to do just that. I was always funny. And I was always able to make up a random song on the spot!

How exactly did drag come into your life?

When I was in high school, I was asked by a dance teacher to fill in for a Tina Turner number... and I was handed a wig and a black dress! After the show, I was told how I had really nice legs (something i had been told my whole life). I was then told that I should do drag, but I had no idea what it really was yet.

The school was having its first “Miss Stars Pageant,” and my friends all said I should do it. I figured, hey, I love to dance and act a fool, but over all just entertain, so why not? I did a number. My friends backup danced for me. We had to incorporate a safer sex message into it, so I made a evening gown out of condoms and I won!

I saw you also recently wore a gown adorned with MetroCards... do you often use found or used objects to make your looks?

Actually, no. I just try to go big for big events. The MetroCard gown was something I wanted for the first DragCon, but I knew the cards wouldn’t fly well since DragCon was in LA. I saved all those MetroCards for three years. I try to think outside the box and use interesting things to make a big statements. I have no idea what I’m doing next year!

I’m sure it’ll be extraordinary! So, there are a few other Robyn Bankses out there... have you had to duke it out with any of them yet?

No, they don’t want it! Just kidding. No, I’ve never met one. But I was recently at a bar and met a queen, and she’s like “Damn, you came all the way out here from Colorado?” And I’m like, “No, I live in Harlem.” I then looked up that Robyn Banks, and it was an older white woman! And I was asked by a person if I used to be a stripper. Googled her, and it was a big booty African American woman named Robyn Banks that was a stripper! God I wish I had her body!

It only takes a few pillows! Were you / are you a regular of the weekly competitions like Star Search, Drag Wars and Look Queen?

I was introduced by Vitani to Drag Wars about two years ago, and that year I was there faithfully. And then I was there about two weeks ago, and it has changed a lot. And I love that there’s just so many new faces! I’ve never done Star Search, and I did Look Queen back in June and won. So that was fun.

I love those compilations, but I don’t know... I realize I just enjoy performing, acting a fool, just being me. There’s so much pressure when it comes competitions. But there are a few thoughts in my head about possibly doing a few next year!

So you are actually part of NYC drag history... you were the last queen hired to host a weekly show at Boots & Saddle Drag Lounge!

OMG, yes! I was.

You had a weekend happy hour show for the last few months of that bar’s existence. What was that whole experience like for you?

It was amazing. Honestly, it was also a lot of work. I give it to the girls who have more then one weekly show. That was my very first one. The first month, I was so confident... like,”I got this, I can do it.” But to entertain for two hours... it was a lot. I was used to just doing a 3-5 minute song. I learned a lot from doing that, and I’m forever grateful to Robert for giving me that chance, and to DJ T-Boy for really guiding me through the first month.

You’ve said that doing that show helped you fund the making of your album Jawbreaker. When did you start writing those songs?

I started writing for the album mid-2016. I went to film a show which was then canceled, and then I went through a breakup after being in my first adult relationship. So then I took a break, and in 2017 started writing. But it was super depressing, and my producer was like, “Nah you can have one song on there like that, but you gotta use that fuel to write bangers.” So we scrapped all 7 songs and started over. Doing the show and starting to be In the drag world helped me see what people were dancing to and enjoying. Originally, I wanted to call Jawbreaker “La Discotek,” but there wasn’t enough dancie songs on it.

What was this canceled show you were involved in?

It was a reality show for MTV called Last Square Standing we made back in March of 2016. And then when we got back a week later they canceled it, only to revise it. It had one season, and then it was canceled officially. That was, like, the third show I had that was canceled!

Wait, third!?

Yeah, I did a MTV show in high school called Dissed. They showed the first three episodes, and then it was canceled! But they sent it to me on DVD.

Wow, MTV sucks!

Yeah, lol! I really want Big Brother. I auditioned for it three times--once in drag, before Courtney did for Big Brother UK. So, we’ll see!

Do you have a favorite track from Jawbreaker?

Oh, God! Well, I honestly love “Karma,” cuz it was something I wrote about my ex. I had told my producer the story [behind the song]. and he said it needed to be a trap song. I had never done trap music, so “Karma” is also the song that I struggled with the most out of my whole discography. But I love it even more that Lola Michele-Kiki is on the remix!

That’s going to be available soon... the remix track with Lola and its video.

Yes, we shot the video along with a ton of other NYC drags back in August and September. I’m just waiting for iTunes and a few other [downloading platforms] to approve the single (or maxi-single) to finally give it a release day! Meanwhile, I’m hoping for a GLAM this year for my single “Back It Up,” and then go for another with the "Karma” video!

What was the most surprising thing for you about the recording process?

How good I sound. Let tell you something: producers are the way of the world. When I recorded this album, I didn’t want it to seem like I was another drag doing music. I did music as a boy under “Manny Montag,” so I was excited when I record my first album Robyn cuz I got to do music, parodies and drag. If I played you the demo I got for “Karma,”you would be like, whoah! That why I’m also a fan of a capella, cuz it’s just amazing what a producer can do with your vocals. Just ask Lola, lol!

Werk! Any ideas for future recordings?

I originally wanted to extend Jawbreaker into a deluxe, but I’m just now really getting into dance music. Plus, I enjoyed working with all the NYC girls during the video shoot, that it’s given me an idea. I stared working on new stuff. I felt like Jawbreaker was an intro into who Robyn Banks is. But the next album... she did not come to play! I will tell you that the name of the next project is Drag Mafia.

youtube

So, onto a serious topic for a moment... we’re in the middle of a shitstorm right now with The Manhattan Monster Bar dealing with outraged pushback from the nightlife community after some racist policies of management have been exposed (specifically, the general manager made a comment in a text about how the black dancers featured in an event poster should be replaced with “beautiful” ones in order to minimize black patrons). What are your thoughts about all of this? How should the Monster make this right, if that is even possible at this point?

Well, I pride myself in belong a black drag queen. And I am always excited to see my black sisters of color doing the damn thing. So first, shout out to Honey for exposing them. But also, shout out to Zarria for getting that spot at the new Boxers. I feel like this: there aren’t enough black drags out here that are really booming, and really making that stand.

Don’t get me wrong... I’m in love with all different types of people--age, skin color, types of drag. However, there needs to be more of us having a shit ton of shows per week. I’ve been begging a certain bar owner for two years for my own one night, and all I get is “we’re booked...” But there’s a ton of new girls who ask, and BOOM they get it. And I have yet to see a black girl have there with her own show at this venue. It just sucks, cuz at the end of the day we all just wanna entertain people, but also have our craft be taken seriously.

So for the issue at the Monster, I feel that the black community wasn’t taken seriously. Now, the owner said sorry and the general manager has been removed. But where’s the apology to Honey? To the black dancers? To the BLACK community? I’m sure The Monster isn’t going anywhere. But my mom used to go, and she said at one point about 70 percent of it was filled with ethnic people. Like, even RuPaul pops in there randomly!

Yes! They definitely don’t seem to understand who their patrons actually are. Disgraceful! We can only wait and see if they will be able to recover from this.

In the meantime... you have some gigs coming up at Stonewall, starting with... Sucia’s birthday show this coming Sunday!

Yes, I’m super excited about it! She is a good Judy. We often get ready together, and kiki... it’s fun. She helped with the "Karma” video. She shot and directed my music video for “Back It Up,” and she has a movie, Neon Boys, coming out next month.

Then I’m [back at Stonewall on Saturday, October 13th] with Ari Kiki for Riot...

[... and back to Stonewall on Sunday] with Catrina Lovelace for her first Invasion...

I also have a few Drag Queen Story Hour readings this month, as well as our second annual fundraiser event. So, October is busy! And here I thought I’d be able to grow my beard out! Also,the "Karma” song will drop this month, the remix will follow it next month, and the dance remix video will drop on New Years!

Congratulations and have fun with it all! What are you gonna be for Halloween?

Aye, I don’t know yet. I feel like with drag, it’s always Halloween. But I just got my own apartment last month, so I think I’ll take this year to just stay home with my dog, watch some movies, and just have some Me Time. I know I do have a DQSH reading that morning, so maybe I’ll be a cute bumblebee or something kid friendly.

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to celebrate Halloween. I didn’t really celebrate 'til 2016 after my breakup, when my friends dragged (haha, drag) me out to have fun. I don’t know, maybe my mind will change.

Werk! Anything else?

My favorite Halloween song is "The Monster Mash,” and my favorite Christmas song is "Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” so I’m trying to get the rights to re-record those, lol!

A busy musical bumblebee indeed! Thank you, Ms. Banks!

Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Robyn Banks’ upcoming appearances, and follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube. Also, purchase her music on iTunes. On Point Archives

#onpointwith #robynbanks #Robyn Banks

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raystart · 7 years

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National Security Innovation just got a major boost in Washington

Two good things just happened in Washington – these days that should be enough of a headline.

First, someone ideal was just appointed to be Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense.

Second, funding to teach our Hacking for Defense class across the country just was added to the National Defense Authorization Act.

Interestingly enough, both events are about how the best and brightest can serve their country – and are testament to the work of two dedicated men.

Soldier, Scholar, Entrepreneur Joe Felter was just appointed Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for South and Southeast Asia. As a result, our country just became a bit safer and smarter. That’s because Joe brings a wealth of real-world experience and leadership to the role.

I got lucky to know and teach with Joe at Stanford. When we met, my first impression was that of a very smart and pragmatic academic. And I also noticed that there was always a cloud of talented grad students who wanted to follow him. (I learned later I was watching one of the qualities of a great leader.) Joe had appointments at Stanford’s Center for International Security and Cooperation (CISAC), where he was the co-director of the Empirical Studies of Conflict Project and at the Hoover Institute where he was a research fellow. I learned he’d gone to Harvard to get his MPA at the Kennedy School of Government in conflict resolution. But the thing that really caught my attention: his Stanford Ph.D thesis in Political Science had the world’s best title: “Taking Guns to a Knife Fight: A Case for Empirical Study of Counterinsurgency.” I wondered how this academic knew anything about counterinsurgency.

This was another reminder that when you reach a certain age, people you encounter may have lived multiple lives, had multiple careers, and had multiple acts. It took me a while to realize that Joe had one heck of a first act before coming to Stanford in 2011.

As I later discovered, Joe’s first act was 24 years in the Army Special Operations Forces (SOF), retiring as a Colonel. His Special Forces time was with the 1st Special Forces Group as a team leader and later as a company commander. He did a tour with the 75th Ranger Regiment as a platoon leader. In 2005, he returned to West Point (where he earned his undergrad degree) and ran the Combating Terrorism Center. Putting theory into practice, he went to Iraq in 2008 as part of the 75th Ranger Regiment, in support of a Joint Special Operations Task Force. In 2010 Joe was in Afghanistan as the Commander of the Counterinsurgency Advisory and Assistance Team. At various points his Special Forces career took him to countries in Southeast Asia where counterinsurgency was not just academics.

Ironically, I was first introduced to Joe not at Stanford but through one of his other lives – that of an entrepreneur and businessman – at the company he founded, BMNT Partners. It was there that Joe and I along with another retired Army Colonel, Pete Newell, came up with the idea of creating the Hacking for Defense class. We combined the Lean Startup methodology – used by the National Science Foundation to commercialize science – with the rapid problem sourcing and solution methodology Pete developed on the battlefields in Afghanistan and Iraq when he ran the US Army’s Rapid Equipping Force.

My interest was to get Stanford students engaged in national service and exposed to parts of the U.S. government where their traditional academic path and business career would never take them. (I have a strong belief that we’ve run a 44-year experiment with what happens when you disconnect the majority of Americans from any form of national service. And the result hasn’t been good for our country. Today if college students want to give back to their country, they think of Teach for America, the Peace Corps, or Americorps or perhaps the US Digital Service or the GSA’s 18F. Few consider opportunities to make the world safer with the Department of Defense, State Department, Intelligence Community or other government agencies.)

Joe, Pete and I would end up building a curriculum that would turn into a series of classes — first, Hacking for Defense, then Hacking for Diplomacy (with the State Department and Professor Jeremy Weinstein), Hacking for Energy, Hacking for Impact, etc.

Hacking For Defense Our first Hacking for Defense class in 2016 blew past our expectations – and we had set a pretty high bar. (See the final class presentations here and here).

Our primary goal was to teach students entrepreneurship while they engaged in national public service.

Our second goal was to introduce our sponsors – the innovators inside the Department of Defense and Intelligence Community – to a methodology that can help them understand and better respond to rapidly evolving asymmetric threats. We believed if we could get teams to rapidly discover the real problems in the field using Lean methods, and only then articulate the requirements to solve them, then defense acquisition programs could operate at speed and urgency and deliver timely and needed solutions.

Finally, we also wanted to show our sponsors in the Department of Defense that students can make meaningful contributions to understanding problems and rapid prototyping of solutions to real-world national security problems.

The Innovation Insurgency Spreads Fast forward a year. Hacking for Defense is now offered at eight universities in addition to Stanford – Georgetown, University of Pittsburgh, Boise State, UC San Diego, James Madison University, University of Southern Mississippi, and later this year University of Southern California and Columbia University. We established Hacking for Defense.org, a non-profit to train educators and provide a single point of contact for connecting the DOD/IC sponsor problems to these universities.

By the middle of this year Hacking For Defense started to feel like it had the same momentum as when my Lean LaunchPad class at Stanford got adopted by the National Science Foundation and became the Innovation Corps (I-Corps). I-Corps uses Lean Startup methods to teach scientists how to turn their discoveries into entrepreneurial, job-producing businesses. Over 1,000 teams of our nation’s best scientists have been through the program. It has changed how federally funded research is commercialized.

Recognizing that it’s a model for a government program that’s gotten the balance between public/private partnerships just right, last fall Congress passed the American Innovation and Competitiveness Act, making the National Science Foundation Innovation Corps a permanent part of the nation’s science ecosystem.

It dawned on Pete, Joe and me that perhaps we could get Congress to fund the national expansion of Hacking for Defense the same way. But serendipitously, the best person we were going to ask for help had already been thinking about this.

The Congressman From Science and Innovation Before everyone else thought that teaching scientists how to build companies using Lean Methods might be a good for the country, there was one congressman who got it first.

In 2012, Rep. Dan Lipinski (D-Il), ranking member on the House Research and Technology Subcommittee, got on an airplane and flew to Stanford to see first-hand the class that would become I-Corps. For the first few years Lipinski was a lonely voice in Congress saying that we’ve found a better way to train our scientists to create companies and jobs. But over time, his colleagues became convinced that it was a non-partisan good idea. Rep. Lipinski was responsible for helping I-Corps proliferate through the federal government.

While Joe Felter and Pete Newell were thinking about approaching Congressman Lipinski about funding for Hacking for Defense Lipinski had already been planning to do so. As he recalled, “I was listening to your podcast as I was working in my backyard cutting, digging, chopping, etc. (yes, I do really work in my backyard,) when it dawned on me that funding Hacking for Defense as a national program – just like I did for the Innovation Corps – would be great for our nation’s defense when we are facing new unique threats. I tasked my staff to draft an amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act and I sponsored the amendment.”

(The successful outcome of I-Corps has given the Congressman credibility on entrepreneurship education among his peers. And it doesn’t hurt that he has a Ph.D and was a university professor before he ended up in Congress.)

Joe Felter and Pete Newell mobilized a network of Hacking for Defense supporters. Joe and Pete’s reputations preceded them on Capitol Hill, but in part a testament to the strength of Hacking for Defense, there’s now a large network of people who have experienced and believe in the program, and were willing to help out by writing letters of support, reaching out to other members of Congress to ask for support, and providing Congressman Lipinski’s office with information and background.

Congressman Lipinski led the amendment. He brought on co-sponsors from both sides of the aisle: Representatives Steve Knight (R-CA 25), Ro Khanna (D-CA 17), Anna Eshoo (D-CA 18), Seth Moulton (D-MA 6) and Carol Shea-Porter (D-NH 1).

On the floor of the House, Lipinski said, “Rapid, low-cost technological innovation is what makes Silicon Valley revolutionary, but the DOD hasn’t historically had the mechanisms in place to harness this American advantage. Hacking for Defense creates ways for talented scientists and engineers to work alongside veterans, military leaders, and business mentors to innovate solutions that make America safer.”

Last Friday the House unanimously approved an amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act authorizing the Hacking for Defense (H4D) program and enabling the Secretary of Defense to expend up to $15 million to support development of curriculum, best practices, and recruitment materials for the program.

This week the H4D amendment moves on to the Senate and Joe Felter moves on to the Pentagon. Both of those events have the potential to make our world a much safer place – today and tomorrow.

Filed under: Hacking For Defense, Science and Industrial Policy

#startups #text #startup #advice #busieness #howto #news #tech

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mredwinsmith · 7 years