#NOBODY FUCKING MOVE RIGHT NOW

[sad-weiying]

“I love you, not the way a disciple loves his Shizun, but… I’m being bold, I… I love you.”

#bella reads 2ha #NOBODY FUCKING MOVE RIGHT NOW #THEYRE A HUDRED FEET IN THE AIR THERES NOWHERE FOR CWN TO ESCAPE TO #IM LOSING MY GD MIND

[when-did-this-become-difficult]

OHIOANS VOTE JULY 2023

JULY 11, 2023 EARLY VOTING OPEN TODAY IN OHIO

Skip the lines and go to your early vote location! The last day you can vote is August 8, Election Day (it's an early election day, yes we also have a November election because the Ohio state legislature is so so so so stupid) but anyways

VOTE NO ON ISSUE #1 🙏🙏🙏

a) it's the right thing to do

b) it's pretty easy cause you have a whole month to get it done early

c) fuck em

#us politics #ohio #so if you don't know what issue 1 is #basically republicans are scared because they know that a pro choice state constitutional amendment is a real possibility #but rather than trying to convince people or whatever the fuck they're moving the goalposts #they're trying to make it so that instead of needing 50% of the vote to pass a constitutional amendment #now you'll need 60% #which makes it insanely hard to amend the state constitution because historically we have passed a fair number of amendments but usually #the margin of victory is less than 10% #which is just like...fucking normal??? #anyways they're just hoping nobody votes in august because nobodys paying attention #like that's literally their plan. theyre just hoping to get hardcore right wing pro lifers out #and everyone else not pay attention #so let's - *pauses to think of a nonviolent metaphor* #*fails* #let's block this stupid thing okay? #just. vote no on issue 1

[one4sorrow]

Charlotte come home

.

#where did you go are you ok? #they put you in the obituaries but you cant be dead they just dont give a shit #nobody there gives a shit they didnt care about me and now theyre not caring about you and fuck what if theyre the reason you dont come hom #they keep talking about oh she was depressed like no shit look at the world we live in nowadays but thats not whats going on here #and they seem like theyre ready to give up already and they cant do that they cant #we're supposed to ditch everyone and go move to salem together she cant just be Gone #charlotte is the thing holding us all together she cant go away shes still alive they just dont care enough to look too much work #shes just a nobody right charlotte lancaster is just a nobody this is bullshit #i thought my brother would be better but even he's not trying as hard as he could i know hes not #he cant be or he'd have found her by now #shes not dead shes not you arent dead charlotte come home please #fuck me i didnt wanna cry and now here i am crying i hate it here

[birthclod]

hey mona

OH MY FUCKING GOD

#EVERYBPDY SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NPW #HOLY FUCK #HOL FUCK #THEY GOT RID OF HIS GRAY OLD MAN HAIR ITS BLACK LIKE HIS MODEL NOW HOLY FUCK #NOBODY MOVE #talk to the cookie #quietautumn #📝 #i had my hand over my mouth for like 15 seconds upon seeing this.

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

#well. i AM probably a monster for how much i dislike this lady #but i don't ACT on it #and i genuinely couldn't care less about her. i participate in decent human pleasantries because i am a decent human. #and at work we're stuck together #the thing that's irked me so much about this conversation is just.. her self centeredness #that she thinks everyone is out to get her. to undermine her. whatever. #bitch nobody cares about you enough one way or the other to put in that kind of effort. i sure don't #i empathize but i do not sympathize. to feel that pit that makes you feel like the worst kind of center of attention #i get it. but genuinely you are not the main character and no one is going to spend their limited time and energy to slowly attack you #you are not the cat with all the knives pointed at it #it's a terrible feeling to feel like you are! but when it influences your behavior to the point that you are making snide comments #to people who have no option not to interact with you then uh. then you're in the wrong buddy #and the people around you (who cannot easily leave! bc work!) should not have to bend over backwards to assure you #that they're not pointing knives at you. to protect themselves from your feelings making you say mean shit #like yes. i can be more clear with my intentions. i'm generally not the greatest at that. but my baseline that i want to #modify my behavior from is NOT one that a regular well adjusted person would take as anything but kind #and if a regular well adjusted person got a little offput by me volunteering to take work off their hands we would've had a very chill #3 sentence conversation about it MONTHS AGO. #i understand and respect (even if i find it annoying and overbearing) the need for me to announce my intentions like im working in a kitchen #and saying 'hot water' or 'knife' as i move around other people but we shouldn't have reached this conclusion this way #and frankly who's to fucking say me being more clear with my intentions will only feed the flames of her thinking i'm out to get her! #'i caught up on my stuff and your plate looks full. i'm bored. anything i can do to help?' could be a pointed knife for all i know!! #and if it is- and my actions still hurt her in that scenario- am i still responsible for the hurt caused?? #like WHERE DOES IT FUCKING E N D ? #personal #*exhales* okay i feel better now #i just hate talking about my interactions with her bc i just want NOTHING to do with it. i want her out of my head!! #but until i process it i can't let go #and i'm still going to have to go over all of this with my shrink tomorrow #it just makes me mad how much of my time this bitch takes up. i'm not getting paid to think about work right now!!!!

[boltgunkiller-archive]

everyone sees santana as the jealous one which is true. but i think brittany would be jealous too just more low key about it

#i mean after s4 i think santana really gets over it #like that’s her acceptance. she just can’t have brittany like that anymore and it sucks #because well also my bpdtana headcanon. she probably felt really possessive over brittany for a bit there #and also hated brittany a little i’m not even gonna lie because she was so frustrated at how seamlessly brittany moved on #but then she accepted it after she realized brittany wasn’t out to get her nor was sam #it was just. moving on. and santana would have to accept that. also need to mention the distance definitely fucked w santana’s head about it #being away from brittany for so long? yeah. she took it as a sign that brittany was abandoning her which caused her to kinda freak out #cause she spent so much time being so dependent or close in general to brittany. the sudden distance was Weird and Bad to her head #and heart #but then you know brittany talks to her about it so she realizes she needs to move on #then dani comes in right #she’s over it. they’re both just fine. but then 5x12. well brittany certainly didn’t like that there was another person in the picture now #-for santana. like she may not have shown it as much as santana does but she was kinda pissed about it i’m ngl #like the whole immediately kissing santana and then bringing up their history? she was about to KHS over the idea of santana just finding #-someone else and even preferring them more over her. llikeeee she wants santana so bad #jealousy im telling youu but she was trying to be normal about it #endgame though so we’re good. i just think about it sometimes #god nobody can rip jealousy tropes out of my hand i just love them #draft clearing spree! woohoo #and also i mostly just think that brittany was jealous in s5 going crazy. near end of s4 a bit. SHE NEEDED HER GIRL BACK asap. #gleeposting

[piplupod]

me when i realize that pretty much everything in my life has actually only gotten worse since i graduated highschool, and all the times i was told things would get better were absolutely false !!!!!!

#i am going fucking insane. this is so stupid #i had a social life. i had friends. i had a job i could keep up with outside of school. i had a solid routine and schedule. #i had insurance. i didnt have to worry about money. i didnt have to buy groceries. i didnt have to cook every day. #i had enjoyable group activities. i had ppl telling me i was doing a good job. i had AUTHORITY FIGURES telling me i was doing a good job!!!! #i had a place to go to be away from home every weekday!! i had hope for the future still to some extent (not a lot but more than i do now)! #I DONT HAVE ANYYYY OF THAT NOW. I do have friends but not in-person!!! zero social life except hospital out-patient bullshit!!! #anyways the highschool is doing one of my fav musicals that i came THIS CLOSE to doing my grad year #but the vote was indecisive so they did some bullshit that nobody was happy with lmfao #i fucking petitioned hard. lobbied HARD. to get us to do that musical. i worked so hard to get everyone on board #but everyone was just waffling about it. and then we ended up w smth that nobody was happy with #AND NOW THIS YEAR. THEYRE DOING THAT FUCKING MUSICAL. THAT HURTS. LIKE A LOT. A LOT A LOT. #like to the point where i have now genuinely cried after hearing that theyre doing it #that was my one fucking chance in highschool to be part of a musical i actually cared about and enjoyed and i lost it #i had watched my brothers be in these fun musicals when they were in school but for my three years I got NOTHINGGG #it hurts so fucking bad. i had been looking forward to that ever since we moved to this town. and then i got fucking nothing. #and now that im out of there and realizing how my life is absolutely fucked and i have to kill myself then they finally do it. #gallons of salt in the big fat gaping wound. insane. #genuinely feeling kind of shocked. how the hell do things line up so perfectly to hurt me this badly so often fjfkfl #maybe im just fucking pathetic and overly emotional idk victim complex or smth awful #i just kind of want to be done like right now. but i have to wait at least a month before i call it quits so i dont wreck this time of year #for my family for the rest of their lives lmfao #my siblings and dad dont deserve that. my mother probably does but whatever #im tired!!! im fucking exhausted!!! this sucks so incredibly badly!!! #suicide tw

[bewby]

when you get blocked by him even tgough you guys barely even talk anymore but the last time you talked which was about a week ago you actually had a nice and healthy conversation and you had alot of love for eachother and it seemed amazing 😂😂😍😍😍😍 no i'm definitely not fucking crying Lol

#it has been 3 years and i'm still here crying over this #well technically it has been about 1 year but also not really. i mean. we stopped talking around december ir smth last year #so it makes sense that this wound is still pretty fresh and will take some time to heal but i'm like. hahhaha #he's still my best friend and this really makes me sad #because i really love him and we even hung out together on genshin for some time #and we sent eachother really nice messages and i told him he xan always come to me no matter what and that i'm always here for him #and that if he's ever in a crisis he can even come see me he doesn't even have to ask #and now i'm blocked. hshdjckdjdhjf #i mean why am i surprised. he has every right to. and i'm his ex . and he likes someone else now #but it still really hurts because i wish i could be a better friend to him at least. but i can't talk to anyone these days #but especially with him it hurts so much because i actually know him so so well and it hurts so much more . like. we know eachother since #i was like. 16 and he was 18. it's insane!!!!!! we share a fucking birthday!!!!! i wanna die!!!!!! #i need to accept that it's over since like years but you can't just do that when you really love someone and care for them #haha . this really sucks alot #i know i need to just move along and i try i do but i will never stop having love for him even if it's just platonic it's so deep like wow #i donmt even know how to explain it and my love for him took over my entire life for years to the point where i turned into an absolute #nobody and it worried him so much too so obviously it makes sense that this takes some time . but God ahhahahshshshahah. ahhahahshsah #i feel so sad and i'm allowed to feel sad . but wjen i feel sad it feels like i'm fucking dying #wow. okay i'll stop now #he has every right to block me but he's my best friend so it hurts. that's all

[dykekakashi]

cried for twenty minutes in front of the stove waiting for my grilled cheese to cook except i didn't add enough butter and it turned out so mid i could sob again, honestly

#ngl between shitty dating and half of my friends not even trying to make an effort to see me #i'm in such a horrible state right now. i feel so alone again #i used to think that i deserved to be lonely when i was younger because i was kind of a dick very often #and it turns out trying to be kind and vulnerable and honest with other people is just worse #i feel now that i'm constantly begging for company when people used to beg for MINE #like do people really hate themselves so much they only want to be with people who don't care for them #also terrified because i'm moving in august and it'll just be this same bs again or worse #i just want to go home where i feel safe and loved tbh i'm tired of this bullshit #my family was right nobody will ever love me as much as they do. it's actually so fucking sad

[zemnarihah]

much to think about.

#i had lunch w my sister today and she was talking abt our dad and abt how him being like emotionally abusive made her a huge people pleaser #and she was like yeah i think you didnt get that as much #you were always the one who stuck to your guns or just didnt talk to him #and at first i was like what bc i literally dont think anything i ever did could be rlly described as actually sticking to ones guns i alwa #felt like i was so avoidant of any conflict w him bc yk i was like. terrified of him. but i was thinking abt it and compared to her i think #like yeah actually shes right? bc i would avoid conflict w him but i did that by like fully cutting off our relationship as much as #possible and she did it by trying to please him all the time. which probably neither were that healthy obviously they were jsut like. our #instincts for how to protect ourselves yk. but the thing is for the past few months i thought i had been learning how to not be so scared #of making ppl mad and to be more assertive and stuff. but i think actually i probably have always had that strength maybe it was just. #kinda beaten down for a while since standing up for myself always made things worse. so the other option to not allow him to treat me like #that was to cut myself off from him. But i still did that yk? idk. #like i was thinking more abt it and #i was the one who left the church at 18. after i moved out but i did. and i didnt hide it after that. my sister has apparently been mentall #out for years now and nobody in our family knows but me. bc she is so scared to disappoint him. and like idk. i always was like why couldnt #i get out earlier bc i know so many ppl who just said fuck you im not going anymore at like 14 or smth and i was like why couldnt i do that #but i guess looking at it from my sisters pov our situation was just really fucking hard. and i guess im realizing i was honestly a lot #stronger and braver than i thought i was that whole time. idk. #lol its like bittersweet. bc it makes it so much more real that it was actually super fucked up. the way we grew up. like i think sometimes #the easiest thing is for me to go haha yeah my dad was kind of a dick and whooaaahhh so crazy i grew up mormon hahah! but its like no that #was fucked up. but look at how i made it through that yk. its kind of making me. idk. develop some more respect for myself i guess #idk idk #ignore me i am just journal posting . lol #exmo tag

[basslinegrave]

ughhh this is nevwr gonna work

#having to get up early because of the dogs which means having to go to bed early #i prefer working at night!! i just cant do anything during the day!!! #and sewing. i can only do it during the day cuz the machine is loud but i only have few hours of being alone #if someones at home theyre either sleeping or barging in #i swear i already see how i lock my door to work but someone unlocks it from the other side (cuz its sady possible) #like read the room #also theres still half of the sofa in my workroom so its impossible to move in there cuz its just right in the middle get it the fuck out #and at this rate i will never get other stuff installed and i feel like its for the better cuz they want me to leave so badly #i can just grab it and go #but then dont fucking lie to me that i can stay and work from home #chase vented #theres no way im going to work anywhere i just cannot during school and it would be too damaging to my psyche now that i have thesis work #and after i finish school nobody will employ me part time as a non student #and i refuse to go back to the store i worked at thru family that was the worst time of my life they treated me like shit and its not worth #200 a month

[neon-vocalist]

man i love it when people vaguepost instead of realising that i'm a person too and not completely infallible!! /s

#goddamn. i am a person you know. i can make mistakes #out of all my posts i forget to put a TW on one of them. one of them!!! literally a lighthearted jokey post that nobody is forcing you- #-to look at in the first place #and i appreciate the reminder to put a TW on it because i did forget to do that #but was the vaguepost necessary? tell me right now. was the blatant vagueing at me necessary? #was the calling me a negative person necessary? #was the implication that i'm a self-righteous bitch who only thinks about myself necessary? #no. at least mention me by name #if you're going to do that at least have the balls to approach me and say #hey i don't like that #you're just making me feel worse about myself #guess what? i already hate myself! i don't need you adding onto that! #don't be a coward. and don't be a bitch. #vagueposting is such a horrible move. i could write an entire essay on it actually. and before you call me a hypocrite the only reason i'm- #-doing it now is because i want you to know how it feels. #in conclusion fuck you

[girlyliondragon]

Secretly simping fictionally rn and it's secret specifically because I have the trust of a hurt chihuahua at this point with this stuff so I'm keeping it all to myself or else I'm biting a bitch again out of reflex.

#wow Rant alert #Blogger's note: I love Chihuahuas and co-own one with my dad plz don't hurt them or else I will bite you too /srs #it's a metaphor. #anyways #I doubt it'll stick because moving from character to character with this because of bullshit every time makes it hard to keep hold nowadays #but fuck it. I'm at least enjoying this feeling while it lasts and the only way I can is to keep it secret entirely now #sorry (not). but I don't want people being dicks about how I am about that anymore so damn it for the sake of my health now #if this coping mechanism sticks around after my therapy nobody has the right to shit on my obsessive attachments afterwards either :U #kinda a vent ? but it's also not either #as opposed to a venty tag vent #tl;dr version: I'm letting myself live for once

[chibelial]

.

#yeah I read her posts I fucked up monumentally #why am I even ranting on here #nobody is gonna read it I’ll probably just delete it later #I think I’m just gonna #sit outside and smoke everything I have fuck else am I gonna do right now I’m stuck here #can’t go home my friends hardly even talk to me I csnt leave here at all my hobbies #don’t interest me or give me any joy or entertainment #idk what to do to make myself GO to have motivation and to be able to face something #that triggers this crippling panic and to be able to move forward through it #it’s immobilized me every time my entire life and I just want to be able to fight it somehow #just once I want to find a way to quell it but I couldn’t even do it for autumn if I couldn’t do it for her #how tf am I ever #I csnt even breathe #pretty sure my pacemaker makes heart attacks nearly impossible my heart literally hurts it’s going so fast #I ever can feel it due to the weird muscle shit unless it’s at least like 200 #yeah gonna go smoke and hope my body stops doing this #probably just gonna think about her for a long while

[nexus-nebulae]

stupid fucking broken body

#low health #i haven't had a single second of feeling no pain in my entire memory #i can't do a single thing without hurting #not even laying completely still in bed completely flat and straight #i can't even lay like a goddamn corpse without being in pain what kind of fucking bullshit body is this #i did a symptom assessment and the symptoms list was more than twice as long as my phone screen #and the text was fucking TINY too aha #there isn't a single part of my body that works like it's supposed to and that's not an exaggeration #so many people always assume it's hyperbole but it never ever is #everyone always assumes i hyperbolize and dramaticize and exaggerate and play it up for pity #or whatever other insidious shit they always assume I'm doing #to a point where I'm starting to HAVE to play it up now because nobody will fucking listen #and if the only thing that works is 'im literally fucking dying' then fuck me i guess #they treat me like a boy who cried wolf without ever even bothering to fucking check if i was right #and I'm surrounded by fucking wolves now but everyone's so busy ignoring what i say they can't even see the fucking wolves #i first started getting joint pain when i was FOURTEEN and i have gotten *how many treatments?* #ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ZERO. #i have NEVER received a single fucking DIAGNOSIS much less any FUCKING HELP #and it has been OVER SIX YEARS #and i have been telling my doctors over and over that i am rapidly deteriorating and won't be able to MOVE for much longer #and they WON'T EVEN SET ME UP WITH AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE SPECIALIST CLINIC. #i am so fucking angry and so fucking tired and I'm quite literally reaching my fucking breaking point #i haven't had this bad of a mental state since my ABUSIVE GASLIGHTING TRANSPHOBIC ABLEIST EX #and if THIS is making me revert back to THAT then IT'S FUCKING SEVERE AND I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HELP YEARS AGO #i am fully and wholly being genuinely neglected and left to die #and the ONLY person who seems to genuinely give a shit about me is about just as restricted by circumstance and health #so we can barely even help each other even if we want to

[nobody7102]

.

#for once I wish it was a fucking hangover #my period came #and I don’t know if I want to throw up or pass out from the pain #not to mention my fucking nieces are here again #not that I don’t love them #but they are here all the fucking time and I can’t deal with them right now #like my body physically will not let me #if I move I get nauseous and this burning stabbing pain in my uterus #nobody shouts