#No hate to cabbage lovers out there. i just dont like it boiled. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

latetaektalk · 3 years

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love to hate you | jjk [v]

“when obnoxiously rich and spoiled frat boy jeon jungkook comes up to you one day and asks you to fake date him for money, you definitely should have said no. because before you knew it, you were going on insta dates with him and having lunch with his equally obnoxiously rich and spoiled friends.”

— genre: sexual themes, angst, fluff, fratboy! AU, fake dating! AU, college! AU, rich kid! AU, enemies to lovers! AU

— pairing: jungkook x female reader

— word count: 17.540

— warnings: swearing/cursing, banter, alcohol consumption, jealousy, oc slanders yoongi’s music rip

— playlist: to be added

— a/n: okay after five (5!!) months im happy and uh nervous to present the newest lthy chapter! i hope you guys enjoy it and that it was worth the wait!! also! id like to note that its the birthday of my bestie aka lira aka @koocycle !! please all go and wish her a happy birthday! i love you lots lira, even tho you eat boiled eggs!! hope you enjoy your little birthday present! and ofc, this is inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han!

[Jimin - 01:39 PM] : please ill pay u :((

[Jimin - 01:39 PM] : come to the party pls its gonna be fun

[You - 01:39 PM] : no. stop askign

[Jimin - 01:40 PM] : u dont have to come in a couples costume

[Jimin - 01:40 PM] : but y/n :((( pls im beggin u

“Hey, cabbage?”

You looked up from your phone, your face souring the moment you saw it.

“No.”

“But you haven’t even-”

“I said no, Jeon.”

“But look! It’s cute-”

You shoved your phone back into your pocket and took the costumes from Jungkook, holding them up.

“It’s Joker and Harley Quinn. It’s not cute. It’s basic. 2016 called and asked for its costumes back.”

He pouted at your words.

“I’m not wearing a shirt with ‘Daddy’s Lil Monster’ written on it. Forget it. No matter how much you pay me,” you hissed, shoving the outfits back into his hands.

“Wait, that’s what’s written-” Jungkook paused and examined the costume, squinting to see if you were right. He gasped when he read it.

“You didn’t know?” You raised a brow. “What? Too busy staring at girls’ asses?”

And before he could defend himself, you walked away, swiping through the next rack and leaving him to put back the clothes alone.

Soon, he was by your side again though, following you like he was chained to you. “How about this?”

It took you one single look to decide, and Jungkook seemed to decipher the answer from your face, slowly putting back the mermaid costume.

Shaking your head, you moved on to the next rack, not waiting for him to follow you. He did though. He had followed you around ever since you stepped inside the shop, not leaving your side for once. No matter how much you tried to walk away, he would appear behind you mere seconds later.

“You can go look on your own, you know? You don’t have to follow me,” you told him for the third time now, hoping Jungkook might get the message now.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Seriously. You don’t have to stay with me. I’ll be fine on my own.”

Jungkook smirked. “You’re not getting rid of me, cabbage.”

You frowned at his words. “Getting rid of you? That’s not-”

“Oh, please.” Jungkook clicked his tongue. “I know exactly what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to get rid of me so you can sneak away and ditch my ass.”

You stopped looking through the racks and turned to him, your frown etched deeper into your face. “What? I would never do that.”

Jungkook’s face lit up at your words, a smile growing on his lips.

“Are you saying you enjoy spending time with me?”

It took you a second to understand his words, and when you did, you almost burst out into laughter. You shook your head. “I’m saying I like money and getting paid.”

Jungkook looked at you, face blank, before letting out a laugh in response. But it didn’t sound quite right, something about it off.

“Right,” he laughed, the same weird laugh he just did, and shook his head. “You’re never gonna enjoy spending time with me, are you?”

You scoffed automatically, already turning away from him like you always did. At this point, it was almost routine. “Do I look like I’m enjoying myself right now?”

You missed the way Jungkook’s face crumbled for a split second, the way he pressed his mouth together and his eyes darted off to the side, to the floor.

“Well, good thing I’m paying you,” he whispered, voice strained. You perked up, raising a brow, but you were met with a smile on his lips. The same smile you had seen too many times now already.

“Jeon-”

“I’m gonna look over there, yeah?”

He pointed somewhere behind him, walking away before you could even get another word out. You watched him slip away, brows creasing together.

He had tried to hide it, but you could see it in his eyes, in the quivering corners of his mouth.

Your words had hurt Jungkook.

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair, eyes screwing shut. A part of you wanted to chase after him, stop him and apologise, but you couldn’t move, feet glued to the spot. Maybe it was for the best though. You had no idea what you were going to say.

When you peeled your eyes open, you almost expected to see Jungkook in front of you, smiling at you. He wasn’t there. Your heart sank the tiniest bit in your chest.

You hated yourself.

Not in a self-loathing and self-sabotaging manner. More in an annoyed and pissed off one. Because if you were maybe just a little meaner and stronger, you wouldn’t be in this situation. You wouldn’t be doing this. And by doing this, you meant standing outside Jungkook’s class, waiting for him, a paper bag pressed to your chest.

You were contemplating for the fifth time now whether or not it was too late to dip (whether or not this was a good idea has been long established. It wasn’t.) when the doors opened and students filtered into the hallway.

The first person you recognised was Seokjin. He was swiping through his phone with one hand and pushing through his hair with the other, brows furrowed. If you were honest, you weren’t actually sure if Jungkook was in this class. He had mentioned it once before, you think at least. You could be dead wrong and have wasted your time. And so, just to be sure you hadn’t (and to not continue looking like a complete idiot, standing outside a class), you flagged down Seokjin. Or well, you tried to because, with his eyes set on his phone, he didn’t see you. Until he almost bumped into you.

“Oh, sorry- Y/N?”

“Uh, hi, Jin.” You put on a smile. It looked awkward, especially compared to Seokjin’s who seemingly didn’t know what awkward is, his smile so convincing he might as well just be shooting a commercial right now.

“Hey, it’s been a minute! How are you?” The words rolled off his tongue effortlessly. He put away his phone, giving you all of his attention.

“Good. I’m good. How about you?”

“Doing great too.” An awkward beat hung between you. He broke it in the end, of course. “Now, how can I help you?”

You cleared your throat and tucked a strand behind your ear. “Uh, this is weird, but Jeon is in this class too, right?”

And then Seokjin’s smile grew into a smirk. “Oh, is this a surprise for Kook? I see.” Before your cheeks could heat up in embarrassment, he continued. “That’s so cute! But yes, he is. He should be coming out just now. Do you want me to look for him?”

“No, no, no, it’s fine,” you quickly assured him, the paper bag crinkling when you put up your hands. It caught his attention.

“What do you have there?”

Seokjin was already moving to look into it. Panicked, you pulled it away from him, pressing it close to your chest and hugging it like it was a treasure.

“Oh-”

“Sorry,” you smiled as well as you could, “it’s, uh, a secret. I-I can’t let you look.”

It didn’t click with you just how misleading all of this must have seemed until you saw Seokjin try to bite away his laughter, his smirk causing your face to grow as hot as the sun.

“Stuff that he forgot?”

“No! God, no,” you stupidly stammered, trying to come up with an explanation, but your mind was wiped blank.

“Cabbage?”

You had been so caught up in your conversation with Seokjin, you had completely missed Jungkook walking up to you. You jumped at his appearance, heart dropping into your stomach.

“Hi!” you said a bit too enthusiastically, voice a few pitches too high. “You scared me there!”

Jungkook blinked at you, mouth wide open before twisting up into a smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He looked between Seokjin and you. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh,” you started gesturing around, pointlessly. You couldn’t think straight, not with Seokjin smirking at you and Jungkook staring holes through you. “I, uh-”

You never finished your sentence, deflating.

“I’m gonna leave you two alone,” Seokjin announced after a second, patting Jungkook on the shoulder before sharing a look with you, his smirk never leaving his face. “It was nice talking to you, Y/N.”

“Yeah,” you breathed out, raising a hand to wave him goodbye. “It was nice, for sure.”

Jungkook raised a brow when he was gone. You could barely meet his gaze.

“What was that?”

“I-” You tried, but failed. Seeing that people were beginning to look your way, you grabbed Jungkook’s hand. “Uh, let’s go first.”

You didn’t need to say it for him to understand. Jungkook nodded and led the way, but not without peeking over his shoulder and giving you a grin.

“My car?”

“Where else?”

Jungkook smiled at your response, agreeing with you under his breath before holding the doors open for you.

The walk to his car was relatively short. The moment you shut the car door, Jungkook turned to you, an annoyingly big smile on his lips.

“Don’t-”

“Can I just ask how happy that just made me? Seeing you waiting for me?”

The way Jungkook looked at you surprised you. Eyes bright and big, crinkled at the corners, cheeks bunched up, mouth split into a gigantic smile, nose wrinkling just the tiniest bit. It was all too precious; a sight that made your heart fumble in your chest in ways it shouldn’t.

He looked soft, gentle, kissable, loveable-

Wait, what?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jungkook asked, tearing you out of your thoughts. He had a smirk on his lips, like he just read your mind and knew exactly what you had been thinking.

“Uh, nothing. I’m not. I just-” You finished your sentence by waving your hand around in the air, a dismissive gesture.

He raised a brow at you, his smug smirk growing with every second.

“You’re just, what?”

You bit on your tongue and shook your head. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“You sure-”

“Yes, of course!” The words shot out of you too fast and too loud. It made you cringe.

You stared at the paper bag you were holding, and you wished you had just shoved it into his hands and ran away.

Jungkook looked at you. Discomfort was practically oozing off of you. So even though he wanted to dig the answer out of you, he dropped the topic, moving on smoothly.

“Tell me,” he clapped his hands together, ridding the air of the awkwardness, “why were you waiting for me?”

You looked at him before turning back to the paper bag in your hands. You had been clutching it so tight it had wrinkled. Now that you could finally speak, you realised you hadn’t thought this through at all. You had been so focused on getting his class right and getting there in time, you hadn’t spent any time figuring out what you wanted to say.

Concluding there was no good way to start, you thrust the paper bag into Jungkook’s hands.

“Oh, okay,” he breathed, surprised by your decision. With a chuckle, he looked inside. Your heart thumped a bit too heavy in your chest as you watched him dig through the bag, swallowing when he pulled it out.

For a second, Jungkook seemed confused, just staring at it. The lack of reaction scared you, had panic bubble up in you.

Rubbing your hands, you explained, “I’ve been kinda thinking about what we could, uh, dress up as and I came up with this. It’s a stupid idea. I just figured you might like it-”

“Like it?” Jungkook stared at you, mouth splitting into the biggest smile, genuine excitement gleaming in his eyes. “Are you kidding me? I love it!”

You blinked at him, thrown off guard by his sudden reaction. “Yeah?”

“Of course! I mean, look at it, cabbage!”

He showed you the costume like you didn’t order it, waving it around in the air. You should tease him for his eagerness, roll your eyes at him. But something about how stupidly excited Jungkook got over this—eyes scrunched up in crescent moons, sparkling like the stars—made you smile too.

“Wait, if I’m gonna be,” he pointed at the costume, “are you gonna be-?”

Jungkook didn’t finish his question, almost like he thought if he said it out loud, you would scoff at him and deny it. You were tempted to tell him no to mess with him, but you couldn’t do it. Not when he was looking at you so hopeful, holding his breath in anticipation and nibbling on his bottom lip.

“Yeah.”

And like you had told him the greatest news possible, Jungkook cheered. It was stupid really. You knew he was going to get excited, but you didn’t think he would get this excited. It was cute in a way.

“Oh, I can’t wait for the party now!”

You could only hum in response, not quite sharing the same sentiment. He didn’t notice, too enthralled by the costume.

“How much do I owe you?” Jungkook suddenly asked you and was already pulling out his wallet, but you stopped him, shaking your head.

“No, it’s fine,” you told him. “I mean you’re already paying me... and for everything we do, I can also, you know.”

“That’s not what’s written in the contract,” he said, but happily put away his wallet. You hummed and shrugged. “Well, thank you then.”

And then, Jungkook turned his gaze to the costume in his hands again, staring at it like it was the most precious thing he had ever seen. The tiniest smile pulled on your lips as you watched him.

“You’re welcome.”

It felt awkward for you to say that though. Because really, Jungkook had paid for the costume. With the amount he was depositing into your account weekly, anything you were buying now was paid by him. It felt wrong-

“Hey.”

You snapped your head around, surprised to see that Jungkook was looking at you now.

You quirked a brow and shifted in your seat. “What?”

And then, you watched his face break out into a smile, eyes staring down yours.

“Thank you.”

The smile he was giving you was soft and gentle, delicate. It made your heart skip a beat and your throat grow tight. You didn’t know how to react. An awkward silence filled the air, your lack of a response to be blamed.

“Uh, yeah, sure thing,” you mumbled before turning away, dismissing him with a flick of your wrist.

“No, seriously-”

“It’s fine. I get it,” you chuckled nervously. Jungkook stared at you, the corners of his mouth twisting up in an amused smile. Before he could say anything, you announced, “I actually have to go now,” you grabbed the car door, “so I’ll, uh, see you around, or whatever.”

Jungkook opened his mouth to stop you, but you jumped out of his car and shut the door on him, hurrying away like you were running late to something. Just as you thought you could breathe again, you heard your name.

Turning around, you were met with the sight of Jungkook jogging towards you, the car door wide open, abandoned, like he didn’t care if anyone got in right now and drove off.

You frowned when he stopped in front of you. “What?”

Jungkook smiled at your puzzled state, his hands reaching for yours. You tensed, eyes growing wide, the urge to pull away building up in you. You resisted. People were looking.

“Uh, what are you doing?” you chuckled nervously.

Jungkook didn’t respond right away, taking a moment to look at you instead and take you all in. His smile widened.

“I love you.”

He said the words just loud enough for you to hear. You stared at him with big eyes, heat crawling up your cheeks and reaching the tip of your ears. Your mind was wiped blank at his words. You cursed yourself. Why did you still get this flustered whenever he did this?

You opened your mouth to respond, but Jungkook shook his head and squeezed your hand.

“Don’t,” he told you, his smile growing bigger. “It’s fine. I just wanted you to know.”

And before you could even comprehend, tell him that he had told you this before, that you knew already, reprimand him because you had told him to stop telling you he loved you when he clearly didn’t, Jungkook leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Sorry,” he whispered, his smile breaking out into a grin. “I had to.”

Jungkook squeezed your hand one more time before pulling away and walking away, leaving you standing there, frozen, mind reeling, trying and miserably failing to understand what had just happened.

What the fuck was that?

You were in the middle of getting out your notebook in preparation for class when Jisoo found you and slipped into the seat next to you.

“What did I hear about your boyfriend and you cuddling it up on campus and being all coupley and gross?”

You whipped your head around, the question leaving you speechless.

“What?”

She rolled her eyes at you. “Just fess up. Don’t play dumb-

“I-I’m not playing dumb,” you defended yourself, cheeks ablaze at the suggestion that Jungkook and you were being overly affectionate in public. “We didn’t do anything. I don’t know what you heard, but it’s not true.”

“So there was no kiss?”

“Kiss? No!” You paused, and she raised a brow. “I mean-”

Jisoo gasped, her jaw falling wide open as if she had just caught you in a major lie. You were quick to stop her from making any suggestions, your glare silencing her.

“Stop, Ji! It’s not like that. You’re being ridiculous. You know I don’t like PDA,” you hissed.

“But you just said-”

“I didn’t say shit,” you said, looking at your hands as they pulled on the hem of your shirt. “I was just going to say that he kissed my forehead. Nothing more. It’s really not a big deal.”

Jisoo raised a brow and eyed you carefully. She stared at you before smirking. “Then why are you being so weird about it?”

“What? How am I being-”

“You’re avoiding looking at me and you’re playing with your shirt. Almost like you’re nervous,” Jisoo hummed, and you rolled your eyes at her.

“Who are you? Sherlock Holmes?” you huffed.

Jisoo snickered, clearly enjoying this a little too much. “Well, I’m glad to see you and your boyfriend doing well.”

“Of course, we’re doing well. What would make you think we aren’t?” You clicked your tongue and shook your head, as if the suggestion that things between Jungkook and you weren’t going so great was ridiculous, as if things were going on between him and you to begin with, as if this wasn’t all a ruse.

“I don’t know. We just realised we’ve never really seen you two kiss and stuff,” Jisoo pointed out and unpacked her stuff for the lesson, your professor slowly finishing setting everything up.

You stared at her in surprise. You hadn’t thought that Jungkook and you not kissing each other would raise suspicion.

“I mean, you know that I’m not overly affectionate,” you said, and Jisoo hummed.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” She shrugged. “But there was the occasional kiss when you were dating, uh, you know who.”

You blinked at her, hands flattening out against your thighs because Jisoo had a point. When you were dating him, you would share a kiss here or there with him in front of the others. God, shit. Maybe you had to break the contract.

Maybe you had to kiss Jungkook at one point.

You had to give it to Beta Tau Sigma. Their house actually didn’t look half bad. It seemed like they put in some effort into decorating it—cobwebs covering the windows, chains of lights illuminating the house in a warm orange hue, pumpkins lining the front door. It was more than you had expected from them.

Their choice of music, however, was... poor to put it nicely. Not even the shots you had taken before to take the edge off could make up for how awful the music was. It didn’t help how loud it was either, your ears hurting already. People seemed to enjoy themselves though, the house packed. There were about a dozen standing outside, red solo cups in their hands, all in various costumes. You spotted witches, firemen, superheroes, cowboys, nurses, and even two Harry Potters and a Waldo.

Jungkook appeared next to you, eyes focused on the house. A gigantic smile adorned his lips. Even in the dark, you could see the excitement glimmering in his eyes.

“Are you ready?” he asked you, shifting from one foot to the other. You blinked at him before looking down at yourself and swallowing away the sigh. Why did you have to choose this costume?

When you glanced at the house, you could feel the ball of anxiety grow in your gut. People were already intimidating to begin with, even more so when they were drunk, but especially if the guy by your side was none other than Jeon Jungkook. He was like a walking light bulb, drawing attention to him everywhere he went. You knew if you stepped inside the house, everybody would look at you. It was a mortifying thought.

You wanted to bail, go home. You really did. But you reminded yourself, you had agreed to this. So you put on a smile and nodded.

“Yeah, uh, sure. Let’s go.”

You had barely stepped out onto the street when Jungkook pulled you back.

“What?”

“You alright?”

There was no smile on his face anymore, no childish excitement swimming in his pupils. Instead, a frown was sitting on his face.

You blinked at him a handful of times. “What?”

“You alright?” he repeated and pulled you closer to him when a car passed by, placing a protective hand on your back.

“What?” You realised then that you’ve said the same thing three times now. You snapped out of it. “I mean, yeah, of course. What makes you think-”

“You’ve got this look,” Jungkook told you, gesturing at his face and contorting it to mimic you. “This weird look. You look uncomfortable.”

You didn’t think he would pick up on your discomfort (so early on as well), figuring he would be too excited to pay you any close attention. You didn’t know how to respond.

“Are you sure about this? We can go home if you want to.”

You opened and closed your mouth. Your hesitance seemed to be enough of an answer because Jungkook tugged open the car door.

Maybe it was the fact that you weren’t one to chicken out of things, or maybe it was how excited Jungkook had looked when you first arrived here, or maybe it was because you realised now how considerate and thoughtful Jungkook had been to you all this time and it melted your heart into a puddle right then and there, but you closed the door.

“No, it’s fine. I’m sure about this,” you told him, swallowing the anxiety and offering him your best smile. “Let’s go. I wanna go.”

And before Jungkook could voice any kind of protest, you led him across the street.

It began the moment you stepped onto the lawn.

“Hey, Kook! We’ve been waiting!”

“Dude, you made it! Finally!”

“Good to see you! Wanna do some shots?”

“Ah, hey!” Jungkook smiled back, lifting his hand for a wave. You thought he would stop and greet the people, catch up with them, joke around maybe. He didn’t. Jungkook just kept on walking.

You were about to make a comment, ask him if he didn’t want to say hello and tell him you were fine with stopping for a moment, but he tugged you inside the house.

And if you thought it was a little much how people went out of their way to greet Jungkook, it paled to how people inside reacted to his sight, the entire house erupting into cheers. People’s moods visibly lifted when they saw him. It was impressive. You knew no one else that could have such an effect on people.

“Wow, you’ve got a lot of friends,” you muttered under your breath.

“They’re not my friends,” he told you through his smile, in between the greetings he shouted back at people.

You quirked a brow, scrunching your nose when you noticed it—the way his voice wavered, the way the smile on his lips didn’t reach his eyes, the way his entire body was tense, almost like his muscles were pulled on by some invisible force, pressure sitting heavy on him, threatening to crack him into little pieces.

“Oh.”

“Hey, you’re Y/N, right?”

Attention wandered from Jungkook to you.

You stiffened. “Uh, yeah, hi.”

Your voice was not even half as loud as Jungkook’s, wavering so much you were sure everybody could have heard it if the music wasn’t eating up your every word.

“You guys look great! Wanna go do some shots together?” A guy in a vampire costume and snapback shouted, holding up two glasses.

“Thanks, but-”

Jungkook paused when someone placed their hand on his shoulder. A girl dressed as a cheerleader with pigtails, ribbons securing her hair, and knee-high socks, a perfectly charming smile on her shiny lips.

“Hey, Kook! You wanna play beer pong with me? I need a partner.” She ran her newly manicured hand down his arm. “It’d be fun! We could-”

“Sorry, Narae,” he pulled away from her, “but we’re gonna go grab something to drink first. Why don’t you ask your boyfriend? I’m sure Yugyeoym will be happy to be your partner.” His smile widened into a blinding grin. “Excuse us, please?”

And then he ushered you into the kitchen, his body close to yours as you moved. Almost like he wanted to protect you, shield you from prying eyes.

There were around a dozen people crammed in the kitchen, all of them going out of their way to greet Jungkook in between shots and drinks they were pouring. You breathed out when no one tried to strike up a conversation with him or invite him to any drinking games.

“You good?” Jungkook studied your face, brows knitted together like he was certain you were going to crumble right in front of him at any point.

“Yeah, yeah.” You waved him off. “All good.”

“Okay, great,” Jungkook mumbled absentmindedly, eyes searching the room as if to see if someone would maybe approach you.

You looked down at your hands. He hadn’t let go, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your skin. You hated to admit it but you did relax under his touch, the tension in your shoulders ebbing out of you.

“What do you want to drink? I’ll make you a drink.”

You looked around yourself, heaving out a breath when you imagined the next hours. A bit hesitant, you grabbed the vodka bottle from the counter, holding it up to Jungkook.

He raised a brow. “You sure?”

“Nope,” you admitted breathlessly. “But I don’t think I can do this sober and a beer is just not gonna cut it. I already kinda feel like throwing up-”

“We can go home-”

“Jeon,” you cut in and put down the bottle, “stop. I appreciate it, I do, but please stop offering-”

“I just wanna make sure you’re comfortable.”

“And I know that. I appreciate it, a lot. But I’m also an adult. If it gets too much, I’ll tell you.”

You must have spoken rather animatedly because-

“Trouble in paradise, huh?”

You snapped your head around, eyes landing on none other than Taehyung. A part of you had hoped you wouldn’t run into him. It was wishful thinking.

Taehyung was grinning as he sipped from his red solo cup, his mouth overlined with lipstick in the signature Joker way. His hair shimmered green when the light hit it the right way.

“Didn’t you say you don’t go to parties, love?” Taehyung hummed.

You shrugged as nonchalant as you could. In reality, your heart was beating a bit quicker, heavier. “Changed my mind.”

“I thought you were pretty adamant about not going,” he said.

“Well, you thought wrong,” you shot back, swallowing because your voice was shaking a bit. You really needed some more alcohol in your system.

Taehyung hummed, eyes flickering to Jungkook. “Seems like it.”

The looks didn’t go over your head, but you didn’t know how to stop them, awkwardly standing there as Jungkook and Taehyung had their silent conversation.

“You know,” you looked at Taehyung, “when I heard there was a fire boy and water girl running around here, I should have known it was you.”

He shook his head, as if he was disappointed in himself for not figuring it out earlier.

“You like it? Y/N suggested it,” Jungkook grinned.

You had to admit red suited him. It reflected him—fiery, passionate, intense. The red knee-long robe with matching pants was highlighted by the golden belt around his waist. More golden accents were stitched along the hem, details of flames decorating the edges. To say that Jungkook looked good today would therefore be an understatement. Especially with his tattoos out and about, you couldn’t deny how stunning and beautiful he was.

You were almost jealous you hadn’t gone for the costume yourself. But your costume—a blue floor-length robe with a thick white belt, blue pants, and matching white boots—kept up with his. You contrasted Jungkook, your costume exuding calmness, peacefulness, and control.

Together you complimented each other perfectly, made up the perfect pair, balanced each other out.

“Wait, love, you suggested this?”

You looked at Taehyung. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Just-” He leaned closer to you, eyeing Jungkook. “Is he blackmailing you? Paying you to do this? You can tell me.”

You froze at his words. You knew he didn’t mean it like that, knew he was simply teasing you, but your heart skipped a beat nevertheless. Were you not convincing as a couple? Could he see that you-

“Shut up, Tae,” Jungkook scoffed, pulling you closer to him. “You’re just jealous.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Right, I’m so jealous I’m not in a cringey couple’s costume-”

“You say this like there won’t be multiple Harley Quinns running around here.”

Taehyung pressed his lips together, sipping on his drink. A smirk grew on Jungkook’s lips. “You know, 2016 called and asked for its costumes back.”

You perked up, the words ringing oddly familiar.

“Well-”

“First of all, I said that first, Jeon. Don’t steal my words. And second of all don’t pretend like you didn’t suggest dressing up as Joker and Harley Quinn-”

“Cabbage!”

“Yeah, put him in place, love!” Taehyung cheered, clapping for you, but you scowled at him.

“Don’t get it twisted, Kim. I also think that your costume is unoriginal.”

In an instant, his smile disappeared, hands slowing to a stop.

“Love! I thought-”

“Y/N?”

You whipped your head around at the call of your name. Hoseok and Chaeyoung. They stared at you with big eyes.

Jungkook turned to you, brow raised.

“I might have told my friends I wouldn’t be coming,” you mumbled into his ear, and he stared at you before smiling and shaking his head because of course, you hadn’t.

Hoseok was the first to snap out of it, his mouth splitting into a smile. “Holy shit, Y/N, Jimin’s gonna flip.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You guys look good,” Chaeyoung said with a smile.

“Yeah, it’s creative.” Hoseok then looked at Taehyung, a smile appearing. “Oh, hi, I’m Hoseok.”

“Hi, it’s Taehyung.”

“Chaeyoung.”

You wrinkled your nose when you saw what Hoseok was dressed up as, Harry Potter. It was as creative as Taehyung’s Joker. The glasses were cute though, you had to admit that. So far you liked his version of Harry Potter the best, the other ones you had seen not coming close to looking as good as Hoseok.

When you saw Chaeyoung’s costume, Hoseok’s lack of creativity was forgiven. With the wand in her hand and an unmistakable Gryffindor robe hanging off her shoulders, it was obvious who she dressed up as, Ginny Weasley. They had come in a couple’s costume. It was cute.

You weren’t the only one to notice.

“God, I get it. You guys are all in love,” Taehyung groaned.

“What? Oh, no, Seok and I aren’t, uh, a couple. We’re just friends.”

“But you’re Ginny, right?”

“No, god, no! I’m not-”

“Isn’t that the Gryffindor symbol- oh, are you meant to be Hermione?”

“No, you’re misunderstanding.” Hoseok jumped in. “Chae is just some random Harry Potter character. This isn’t a couple’s costume.”

Taehyung gave Hoseok a look. He wanted to disagree but stopped himself. After all, they just met.

So you did instead.

“It still looks like you guys are in a couple’s costume.”

“But that’s not what we were going for! I-I just didn’t know what to dress up as and-” Chaeyoung deflated. She turned away, towards Hoseok, who was quick to give her a reassuring smile. You exchanged a look with Jungkook, the two of you rolling your eyes.

Taehyung groaned. “I’m going. I can’t deal with this. It was nice meeting you guys though.”

He was gone before any of you could bid him farewell.

“Well, I think we should, uh,” Hoseok glanced at Chaeyoung, “look for Jimin maybe? He’s gonna be so happy to see you guys.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good thing to, uh, do. I think I saw him last in the living room.”

“You guys go ahead. Jeon and I’ll follow you guys in a minute. Need my drink,” you said, and Chaeyoung and Hoseok didn’t stay much longer, practically running out of the kitchen.

“When do you think they’ll start dating?” Jungkook asked, and you snorted.

“Considering they’ve been like this forever now,” you heaved out a sigh, “hopefully soon.”

You picked up the vodka bottle and held it up. “You gonna make me my drink now?”

Jungkook paused, eyeing the bottle. With a sigh, he took it from you. “I’m not gonna convince you otherwise, huh?”

You hummed and watched as Jungkook grabbed a clean red solo cup and expertly filled it with various liquids. When he presented the finished drink to you, you raised a brow, narrowing your eyes. You grabbed it from him and took a sip.

“And?”

“It’s,” you cursed yourself for what you were about to say, “good.”

Jungkook grinned at you. “Of course, it is. It’s made by me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Let’s just go. Jimin’s probably already tearing the entire house apart looking for us.”

You took another sip from your drink. It really was good. It made you wonder how much Jungkook must drink if he was this good at making drinks.

“Come on.”

You grabbed his hand and walked out of the kitchen. The hallway was packed. You bumped into shoulders and elbows as you tried squeezing yourself through the crowd. It was even worse in the living room. You hoped you would find Jimin soon.

“Do you see him?” you asked, needing to get awfully close to him for him to hear you.

“No, do you?”

You shook your head and scanned the room one more time. You stopped when you spotted Jisoo in the corner, with someone. Jungkook followed your gaze.

“Oh, I didn’t know Ji was dating Jennie,” he mumbled.

“She’s not. At least I didn’t know she was dating anybody.”

Jungkook and you locked eyes when Jennie put her hand on Jisoo’s arm, sensing the chemistry from across the room. You smiled.

You were glad to see Jisoo hitting it off with someone, especially after the heartbreak she had to go through previously.

Jennie was donning a nurse uniform, stethoscope hanging around her neck, and Jisoo was dressed in a stunning icy blue dress, the french braid making her unmistakably Elsa-

The air was knocked right out of you when Jimin leapt into your arms. You almost fell, but Jungkook was there to catch you, his hand on your back steadying you. How you didn’t spill your drink on yourself was a mystery to you.

“Holy fucking shit!” Jimin screeched into your ear, somehow louder than the music. “You fucking came!”

Like a child on Christmas day, he beamed at you. His expression contrasted his dark (and surprisingly detailed) vampire costume—fake blood stained the corners of his mouth and the robe falling from his shoulders reached the back of his knees, red accents making the costume look incredibly elegant.

“I can’t fucking believe it! You said you wouldn’t come!”

“Yeah, surprise!”

“Dude, this is the greatest fucking surprise ever- oh my god, you guys are dressed as Katara and Zuko!” He put his hand over his heart, bottom lip jutting out and eyes glossing over. “You guys look so fucking cute together!”

“Thanks,” you smiled. “But have you seen these two already?”

You turned him around.

“Is that-?”

“Yes.”

“With Kim Jennie?”

“Mhm.”

“God, you’re all just coupled up today, huh?”

You shrugged. “Hey, have you seen Chae and Seok yet? They were looking for you.”

“Oh, no, I haven’t. I’ve been moving around a lot.” He grew quieter. “I can’t stay for too long.”

He gestured for you to come closer. You complied.

“Joon might think I clogged the toilet upstairs and he might be looking for me right now.”

Jungkook smiled and put his hand on Jimin’s shoulder. “Don’t look behind.”

Before Jimin could tell him not to scare him like that, someone wrapped their arm around his shoulder. Someone who was fittingly dressed as a cop, toy handcuffs and baton strapped to his hip. You identified him as Namjoon.

The colour drained from Jimin’s face.

“Hey, buddy,” Namjoon smiled, and you shared a look with Jungkook. Anger was definitely bubbling under that smile. “I’ve been looking all over for you! Were you running from me?”

“What?” Jimin laughed. “No! God, don’t be ridiculous. Why, uh, would I do that?”

“So you weren’t?”

“Of course not-”

“Good, then you wouldn’t mind coming with me for a minute and talking, right?”

You almost couldn’t stop yourself from laughing when you saw Jimin’s panicked face, his eyes darting to Jungkook and you, pleading for help. It was Jungkook who caved.

“Hey, Joon, have you-” He finished his sentence by gesturing towards you, and Namjoon looked at you for the first time. In an instant, his smile turned genuine, dimples making an appearance.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you guys there,” he said. “I’m Namjoon.”

“I’m-”

“Y/N? Yeah, I know. You’re practically famous in the house here,” he laughed. “Kook always talks about you.”

“Oh.” You looked at Jungkook, quirking a brow and smiling when you saw his cheeks turn red. “You do? What do you say?”

“I, uh-” Jungkook stammered stupidly, gritting his teeth. “Joon is exaggerating-”

“So you don’t talk about me? I’m not worthy of being mentioned?”

“What? No! That’s not-”

“Wow, you’ve got some power over him, huh?” Namjoon laughed, and you shrugged, smirking though as you drank from your cup. Jungkook didn’t even try to deny it, looking off to the side with gritted teeth.

“Anyway, it’s nice to meet you,” Namjoon said, and you reciprocated, telling him the same. “I like your costumes by the way. Katara and Zuko?”

“Oh, you like it?” Jungkook exclaimed, suddenly no longer embarrassed anymore, and struck a pose, grinning proudly. “It’s cool, isn’t it, Joon?”

“Yeah, it’s cute and creative,” Namjoon complimented, and you didn’t think you had seen Jungkook look this excited before. You got it now why the others teased him in the diner.

“Anyway,” Namjoon turned to Jimin, pulling him closer, “let’s talk now?”

“Ah, I don’t think that’s such a great idea,” Jimin chuckled. “That would make Kook and Y/N feel left out, wouldn’t it? We can’t do that, can we?”

“I don’t think-”

“Yeah, let’s just all talk together.”

You turned around at Yoongi’s voice, surprised to see him standing behind you, beer in his hand. He had, by far, the laziest costume you had seen tonight—a cheap pair of cat ears on his head and half-assed whiskers drawn on his cheeks.

“Why can’t I just talk to Jimin for a minute?”

“I’m just saying, why can’t we be involved in the conversation? Aren’t we all friends?”

Jungkook and you looked at each other, confused on why Yoongi was defending Jimin so much. But he seemed to be more than glad to have someone on his side though, adding, “Yeah, that’s a great point. I think since we are all friends, we should-”

You didn’t hear the rest of his sentence when Yoongi leaned closer to you, “Hey, wanna know a secret?”

“Spill,” Jungkook prompted, and the older did, proudly, in between sips of his beer.

“I clogged the toilet and paid Jimin to take the blame.”

Like you had timed it, Jungkook and you rolled your eyes, shaking your heads because god, this was so stupid! You smiled.

“Which is exactly why-”

“Nope, we’re talking,” Namjoon interrupted, not even the slightest convinced by Jimin’s arguments. “Let’s go.”

And even though Jimin tried protesting, Namjoon easily pulled him away from you. The pleading look he gave over his shoulder was met with snickering.

Yoongi heaved out a sigh. “I’m gonna….” He pointed to where they had walked off to. “Just to make sure Joon doesn’t murder Jimin.”

“Go do that,” Jungkook laughed.

“It was nice talking to you guys though.” Yoongi looked you up and down. “Your costumes aren’t that bad either.”

You blinked. “Was that meant to be a-”

“Yeah, that’s the closest thing to a compliment you’re gonna get from him.”

“Huh.”

You took another sip from your drink. You could feel its effects, the buzz building up in your veins. It was nice. You didn’t feel very observed and self-conscious anymore, the music starting to sound better too. You were like a completely different person with alcohol in your system.

“You like the drink?” Jungkook asked you again, grinning, clearly proud to see that you were actually drinking it.

You rolled your eyes. “I already said it was good.”

“Well, I want to hear it-”

“Kook!”

You whipped your heads around. It was the girl from before. Narae, you think. The one who was dressed like a cheerleader. The one with the perfect smile.

“Hi,” Jungkook greeted and tightened his hand around yours.

“Hey, I see you got your girl a drink now.” And even though she was speaking about you, she didn’t look your way. You scowled. “I still need a partner, so why-”

“Y/N.”

Narae raised a brow at you. She was wearing that smile well, you thought.

“Sorry, what?”

“Y/N,” you repeated, sounding bored. You weren’t about to feign friendliness. “My name’s Y/N, not Jeon’s girl.”

“Oh.” Narae blinked. “Well, hi then Y/N. It’s Narae. Nice to meet you.”

You drank from your cup. “Yeah, sure. Nice to meet you.”

An awkward silence hung in the air.

“Well, anyway,” Narae laughed loudly and turned to Jungkook again, “you wanna go play beer pong with me now, Kook? And before you bring up Yugyeom, we broke up.”

“Oh, how unfortunate.” Jungkook didn’t sound sincere at all. You would have laughed, but something about Narae made you purse your lips. “But I don’t-”

“Please, Kook, let’s just play together? You know, like old times. Remember?” Narae added, smiling sickly sweet, and put her perfectly manicured hand on his arm. You gulped down your drink.

Old times.

She said old times.

You pressed your lips together. Old times implied there were times where Jungkook and Narae would play beer pong together, laughing, having fun. Times where Jungkook would make the last shot and she would cheer for him, call him her hero, and then wrap her arms around him, a gesture he would not only welcome but reciprocate. Times where they would maybe get closer and closer. Your grip tightened around your cup. It crinkled.

“I’m gonna get myself something to drink,” you announced and let go of his hand, lifting your empty cup for him to see.

“What?” Jungkook turned to you. “Oh, let me go with-”

“No, no, no,” Narae jumped in, her smile growing bigger, her lip gloss reflecting in the light, “Y/N’s an adult. She can go get herself a drink. But I really need a beer pong partner, Kook.”

You walked away, not wanting to catch Jungkook’s answer. He called after you, but you ignored it, pretending that the music ate up his words.

Pressing your hand to your temple, you tried to soothe the headache coming up, but-

“Y/N!”

Jisoo grabbed you by your wrist.

“What? What do you want?”

“What do you mean what do I want, Y/N?” She slapped you with each word.

“Ow! Stop! What did I even do?”

“Excuse you?” Jisoo pointed at Narae and Jungkook who were standing where you had left them.

“And?”

She glared at you. “Do I need to slap some common sense into you?”

“Yeah, why would you leave your boyfriend with Kang Narae?”

You turned around at the comment, realising now that Jennie was standing here too.

“Oh, I’m Jennie,” she told you. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to intrude or anything.”

“No, it’s fine.” You waved her off. “Y/N.”

“I know,” Jennie smiled. “I don’t think anybody at this party doesn’t know your name.”

“Narae didn’t,” you snorted.

“Bullshit,” Taehyung hissed, and you whipped your head around. “She knows your name, love.”

“Where did you come from?” You frowned when you saw Seokjin next to Taehyung too. “What the fuck? Do you guys just multiply?”

“Heard Narae was talking to Kook.” Seokjin shrugged. “Had to come.”

The pirate costume he was wearing looked worn out, like he had been putting it on every Halloween and never bothered to give it a wash. The stain on his shirt proved your assumption.

“You’re being real stupid right now, Y/N,” Jisoo told you.

“Hey! Don’t call me-”

“Yeah, this isn’t your smartest moment, love.”

“See, even Taehyung agrees with me!” Jisoo said. “By the way, I’m Jisoo.”

“We’re doing introductions? I’m Seokjin.”

“Jennie.”

“Anyway,” Jisoo turned back to you, “you’re being stupid.”

“Really stupid,” Taehyung added.

“Shockingly stupid-”

“What the fuck is happening right now? Don’t gang up on me!” you hissed.

“Well, seems like we have to,” Taehyung said. “Because for some inexplicable reason you left Kook with Narae.”

Jisoo nodded. “Yeah, you should go and get your man!”

“Get my man?” You frowned. “Am I supposed to pee all around Jeon and mark my territory-”

“Finally! You got it. Now go pee around him.”

You shrugged off Jisoo when she tried pushing you towards them.

“No! God, don’t be ridiculous, Ji. He’s just talking to her. Don’t make a big deal out of this!”

Taehyung eyed you. “You know their history, right?”

You stared at him, your heart freezing in your chest. They had a history?

“Oh, you don’t know,” he whispered, offering you a sympathetic look, like you were a child.

“Well, I don’t think they actually dated, right?” Jennie hummed.

Seokjin snorted. “Kook would never date her, but Narae has been trying to get him-”

Taehyung noisily sipped from his drink, and you all turned to him.

“What? No! You’re joking,” Seokjin exclaimed, mouth falling open.

Taehyung pursed his lips, looking at you like he was trying to figure out whether or not he should tell you this or not.

“You wanna know?” He raised his brows at you, wiping his mouth.

You blinked at him, mind blank. Because did you? Well, actually it shouldn’t be a question. You shouldn’t care at all, shouldn’t want to know. But you did, your heart thumping harder in your chest as you nodded.

Taehyung eyed you, giving you a moment to change your mind. But you stood by your answer, nodding once more.

“Fine, only because you said so.”

He held up his hands as if to rid him of any guilt that might come up.

“They technically never dated, but,” his voice grew quieter, “freshman year they did have a thing going on there for a while. I just remember catching him sneaking out at night a few times.”

Oh.

So you were right.

When Narae said old times, she was actually referring to old times.

Huh.

The information shouldn’t hit you in the way it did. It shouldn’t affect you at all. You weren’t dating! None of this was real—he wasn’t your boyfriend, and you weren’t his girlfriend! But the image formed in your mind; the image of him kissing her, sneaking out for her at night, running around like destined lovers, holding her in his arms, staying with her until the sun rose again. It had your heart breaking, and your throat growing tight, and your lungs collapsing, the air draining from you.

“Look, love, it’s not that big of a deal,” Taehyung quickly assured you. “It was never serious! And freshman year! Kook broke it off too. He’s your boyfriend now. Clearly, he isn’t interested in her anymore.”

“I don’t think you got anything to worry about,” Jennie agreed. “Looks like Jungkook isn’t responding much to anything she says.”

“I’m honestly surprised she didn’t try pulling anything before today,” Seokjin said.

“Well, she did date Yugyeom for a week or two. Pretty sure it was just to make Kook jealous,” Taehyung mumbled. “She just broke up with him.”

Just in time for today, you thought.

You lifted your gaze to Narae and Jungkook right as she stepped closer to him and brought her hand to his cheek. He winced and moved away from her touch, but she was persistent, staying close to him nevertheless.

You could feel it in the pit of your stomach, grow from there into your chest and wrap around your heart, squeezing it in a deathly grip. It flared up in you, bitter and ugly, clouding your mind. In all your life, you had rarely ever felt like this, but you could identify this feeling immediately.

Jealousy.

Your jaw flexed uncomfortably, hands tightening into fists at your side. Taehyung silently offered you his drink. You barely looked at it before exchanging it for your cup and downing whatever he had in there.

“Damn, love. Slow-”

You thrust the cup into his hands, before turning on your heel and making a beeline for the two.

“Jeon!” you called over the music. He snapped his head around, staring at you with big doe eyes. Narae’s smile slipped at your sight, but she was quick to put it back on. That perfect smile of hers.

Jungkook opened his mouth to say something, but you shut him up, grabbing him by his neck and pulling him down to you, your faces closer than they had ever been before.

And even though you told yourself you only did this because you wanted to prove the legitimacy of your relationship, deep down you knew you did this because you wanted to see Narae’s face fucking crumble, the alcohol buzzing through your veins and jealousy clouding your mind and judgement.

Jungkook froze when you kissed him, eyes wide open and hands up in the air. It took him a moment to reciprocate. But when he did, he made sure you knew he wanted this too, eyes fluttering shut. He held onto your waist with one hand, pulling you closer to him, and cupped your cheek with the other one, lifting your chin to deepen the kiss.

It surprised you how easy it was to kiss Jungkook, how moving your lips against his felt natural to you. You didn’t have to think about it at all, your body knowing exactly what to do, like it had been waiting for this to happen all this time.

Your fingers curled around the fabric of his costume, needing to steady yourself somehow. Everything around you faded away. It was just you and him, lips pressed together, noses brushing, heads tilted to the sides, hands holding each other in place.

Jungkook’s touch was hot, you realised. It burned through your blue robe. You were sure if you looked now, you would find a handprint shaped scar on your back, find the mark Jungkook just left on you.

When you broke apart, faces still impossibly close, your breathing was heavy and uneven. Jungkook had his eyes closed, a grin sitting on his lips. A grin you mirrored.

“Hi,” Jungkook mumbled breathlessly, peeling his eyes open, blinking at you.

“Uh, hi,” you whispered, and he cupped your cheek.

“You enjoying yourself?”

You chuckled. “Yeah, sure.”

“Yeah? Great,” he hummed, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose.

You stood there, holding each other, relishing in the aftermath of your kiss. This moment was yours, all yours. No one could take it from you.

Until cheers broke out.

Just like that, the moment cracked into pieces, crumbled to the ground. Your self-awareness returned, and in an instant, you felt out of place again, like you didn’t belong, embarrassment creeping up your neck and heating up your cheeks.

Your smile disappeared. You let go of Jungkook and stared at him with big eyes. He understood immediately, taking your hand and brushing past a fuming Narae without sparing her a single glance.

You bumped into shoulders and elbows again. It was uncomfortable. But it didn’t compare to how uncomfortable you grew when you saw that Namjoon, Hoseok, Chaeyoung, Yoongi, and Jimin had all found their way to the living room too, standing there, front row.

The next few moments were a blur to you. By the time you snapped back, you were standing in a bedroom. Jungkook’s bedroom you realised; the same family photo you had seen as his wallpaper before sitting framed on the desk.

You looked around. There was nothing special about his bedroom. Cleaner than you thought. Clothes were only strictly littering one corner of his bedroom, not the entire floor. You couldn’t say the same.

“You okay?”

You snapped your head around. His brows were furrowed.

“Uh,” you puckered your forehead, “yeah, I think so.”

And then you just stood there, staring at each other until you realised you were still holding hands. You immediately let go, like his touch was burning you.

“I- no one’s around anymore, so…” you trailed off, awkwardly gesturing around. You didn’t know why you were behaving like this. It was like you were twelve again, the same embarrassment growing in you that you had felt after your first kiss.

“Oh, y-yeah, right,” Jungkook chuckled and cleared his throat.

You fell into silence.

It hit you a moment later.

“What?” Jungkook asked upon seeing your expression change.

“Fuck,” you cursed under your breath and closed your eyes, burying your face in your hands.

“What?”

You sighed, peeling your eyes open, staring at him blankly. “They probably think we’re fucking in here.”

The thought made the tips of your ears burn.

“Oh, yeah,” Jungkook laughed, clearly finding this to be more amusing than embarrassing. You groaned to yourself.

“Well, it could be worse.”

“How? How could it be worse?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. But I don’t believe people thinking we’re doing it is the worst thing.”

You pinched your nose. “Of course, you don’t.”

You sighed and plopped down on his bed, the mattress dipping under your weight. You needed to lie down.

“You know if you think about it—” You had a feeling Jungkook was about to say something stupid. “—this is kinda like prostitution.”

You shot up.

“I mean I’m paying you to date-”

You had aimed for his face, but the pillow hit him in the chest instead. Well, actually, it didn’t hit him at all since he caught it. You turned to grab the next pillow just to realise with great disappointment he had only one.

“You’re so annoying.”

You let yourself fall back onto the bed when he started chuckling.

The alcohol made you feel tired, so you closed your eyes, focusing on calming down and processing everything that had happened. You listened as Jungkook walked over to you, feeling the bed shift when he lay down next to you.

“Hey, cabbage?” He was speaking quietly, whispering into the air. You hummed, sensing he was serious for once.

For a moment, he said nothing, and if you had looked at him, you would have seen him open and close his mouth several times, struggling to find the beginning of his question. He held his breath.

“Why did you kiss me?”

You peeled your eyes open and stared at the ceiling.

“Can we talk about that later?” you whispered back.

You thought Jungkook might bring up the contract and how you broke it, thought he would try to pull the answer from your lips.

“Later?” Both of you knew what later meant. “Okay.”

You closed your eyes and ignored the amused smile you heard in his voice, ignored the vivid image that formed in your mind—nose wrinkled, cheeks bunched up, the corners of his eyes crinkled.

“I think we can go out now,” you said after a few minutes, craning your neck to look at Jungkook. You sat up.

“Let’s not go out yet.”

“Why not?”

Jungkook gave you a sheepish smile. “It hasn’t even been ten minutes.”

“What?”

He sighed. “Well, I mean,” he fumbled with his belt, “if people are thinking we are, uh, well, doing it in here and it hasn’t even been ten minutes and you walk out- how am I gonna look?”

His reason was so stupid you initially couldn’t respond. This was the exact kind of stuff you expected to hear from him though, remembering he was a frat boy after all. You heaved out a sigh, rolling your eyes.

“Jesus,” you huffed under your breath but lay back down. “I’m giving you five more minutes. That’s it.”

“Thank you,” he smiled, and you were so tempted to kick him.

You had to admit, you enjoyed just lain here with Jungkook in silence. There was something oddly calming about this. Because even though you could still hear the party downstairs, feel the floor vibrating under you, in here, in Jungkook’s bedroom, you were in your own little bubble, in your own little world.

You enjoyed it.

Maybe a little too much.

So when the five minutes ticked away, you shot up. Jungkook hesitated, like he thought you would grant him another five minutes if he waited long enough. You didn’t. His knees cracked when he stood up.

“Where do you wanna go?” he asked you, hand on the knob.

“Let’s look for the others.”

“Okay.”

Jungkook offered you his hand and you took it.

When you climbed down the stairs, people were quick to look your way, whispers filling the pauses between the songs. Jungkook squeezed your hand and stayed close to you as you pushed through the crowd. It took you ages to find your friends.

You never thought you would see this; both of your friend groups sitting together in a circle in the backyard. There weren’t many people outside anymore, the autumn night too chilly for many. Not for your friends though.

Chaeyoung spotted you approaching them first, notifying Hoseok and therefore everybody else. You were fully expecting cheers, applause maybe. You were prepared for at least teasing and cheeky comments. You were met with silence.

“Hey,” Jungkook started and awkwardly raised a hand.

“Hey, Kook!” Namjoon smiled, dimples making an appearance. The issue between him and Jimin seemingly resolved, the two sitting together.

“You guys wanna join us?” Hoseok gestured at two empty chairs, two empty chairs reserved for you.

You looked at each other. “I mean, yeah, sure.”

Hesitantly, you sank into your chair. You folded your hands in your lap, counting the seconds for someone to say something about what had happened (and with someone you meant either Jimin or Taehyung). But everybody stayed quiet, like someone had strictly told them not to make any kind of comments. (Your guess was Chaeyoung.)

“Drink?” Jennie offered you a cup. “It’s water. You could have something else too. We have an entire set-up here.”

She leaned back for you to see all the bottles on the floor. You raised your brows, impressed.

“Uh, yeah, no, water is fine.” She handed you the cup. “Thanks.”

You let your gaze wander. It was odd to see your friends mixed with Jungkook’s, sitting together like you were all one big friend group. It was also... weirdly nice.

“Well,” Namjoon clapped his hands together, “you were saying, Chaeyoung? About that customer?”

“Right, yeah,” she straightened up, returning to the story she had been telling, “the customer kept on insisting I should go look in the back for it and that I definitely must have missed it the first time. I mean, yeah, look at me.” She gestured at herself. “Clearly blind.”

“And stupid,” Jimin added, smug and proud.

“Right, I’m just so stupid. I mean I am friends with you,” she hummed.

Jimin snorted. “You’re all friends with me, so jokes on you, Chae, you just insulted everybody!”

“We are friends?” Seokjin asked, feigning surprise.

“Yeah, I always thought we were just doing charity work?” You looked around innocently, your words making jaws drop wide open.

“Holy shit, cabbage,” Jungkook mumbled before breaking out into laughter, infecting all of you in the process.

Jimin stared at you, flabbergasted and confused about how this turned on him. He tried to feign hurt, but you could see through it, the corners of his lips betraying him. Laughter filled the air, joy etched into your faces. Sitting here, you felt like you all knew each other, felt like you were friends- had been friends for years now; hanging out, joking around.

Jennie recalled a similar story she had with a customer at the bookstore she worked at, making you all burst out into laughter by the end. More and more stories were exchanged throughout the night, stories unrelated to annoying customers, stories about them; personal ones, ones that took place in their childhood. You listened intently.

Jisoo had just finished telling you about the first real party she went to in high school when Taehyung straightened up and looked at you.

“Oh, love!” You stilled, your cup hovering in front of your lips. His eyes were sparkling, a smirk on his face. “How is it? Your first ever Beta Tau Sigma party, I mean. Got any improvements for us? We are very open to criticism.”

You looked at him before rolling your eyes, feigning annoyance but the smile on your lips made it hard to believe. “Well,” you sighed, “I’m not really a fan of the music if-”

You stopped when Jungkook put his hand on yours and squeezed it.

“Don’t,” he whispered. You grew even more confused when you saw grins grow on Seokjin’s and Taehyung’s faces.

You were about to ask when-

“These are my songs.”

You whipped your head around. Yoongi didn’t look hurt. He didn’t look like he was feeling much, to be honest, face blank.

“What?” Your brain wasn’t keeping up. “Wait, you composed-”

“Composed, wrote, mixed, produced. Did everything, yes.”

Shit.

“I’m so sorry, Yoongi,” you stammered, feeling your entire face burning, “I-I wasn’t-”

He smiled. “It’s fine. To be fair, this is my old stuff, like really old. I’ve got better things in store. Plus not everybody can like my music anyway.”

“Okay, so you don’t like Yoongi’s music.” Taehyung puts up one finger. “What else? What else can we improve on?”

You pressed your lips together, scared to propose anything else now.

“You know you said that the first time too,” Jimin recalled with a hum.

You turned to him.

“Oh, right, this isn’t actually your first Beta Tau Sigma party.” He flicked a bug off his knee. “You’ve been to one before. Remember the first party I took you to?”

You frowned. “What? No, the party you took me to was at a club-”

“Yeah, but it was thrown by them.”

“Wait, which one are you talking about?” Namjoon asked.

“The one like a month or two ago?” Jimin recalled, shrugging. “Maybe a bit more. Not too long- oh, it was the birthday party for-”

“I don’t think that counts,” Yoongi said. “That party was weird.”

“Yeah, love, don’t worry. This is your first official Beta Tau Sigma party. Forget the other one. That was shit,” Taehyung snorted.

You smiled. “Good, because I don’t recall having much fun.”

“Probably because you were locked in the bathroom for most of it,” Jisoo recalled.

“Because you all ditched me!”

“They ditched you?” Namjoon raised a brow.

You were about to get into it when-

“Oh!”

You looked at Seokjin. He had his phone pressed to his ear.

“Dude, you’re here?” he said, a grin spreading on his lips. “Wait, I’ll come get you. Stay there!”

“Who was that?” Taehyung asked.

“Cinnamon guy,” Seokjin said, like it was supposed to mean something, shoving his phone into his pocket. “I’ll be back in two.”

And then, he was gone, sprinting back to the house.

“Cinnamon guy?” Jisoo raised a brow.

“Oh, he’s a family friend of Seokjin. Business partners with his dad,” Namjoon explained. “He’s been dying to introduce us to him. Says he’s the funniest guy we’ll ever meet.”

“Funniest?” Hoseok raised a brow. “That’s-”

“Hey,” you turned to Jungkook when he spoke, not hearing the rest of Hoseok’s sentence, ��are you tired? We could get out of here if you want to. It’s late.”

He showed you the time on his phone, and you were surprised to see it was way past midnight.

“Uh, are you tired?”

“I mean, not really.”

You looked around. You never thought you would say this, but you were enjoying yourself. Jimin was right. They weren’t as bad as you had made them out to be. He had a point. You were judgmental.

Your voice was quiet and meek when you spoke, “I, uh, wouldn’t mind staying a bit longer.”

Jungkook stared at you before smiling- no, grinning. “Yeah, okay, sounds great.”

He squeezed your hand.

“Guys, guys, guys!”

Seokjin’s voice cut through the air. He stopped in front of you, panting. You exchanged amused glances with Jungkook.

“Let me introduce you to cinnamon guy please,” he heaved, grinning.

Your drink almost hit the floor when you saw who it was, your heart sinking in your chest. It felt like a joke, a really cruel and bad joke.

“Guys, meet Jaehwa.”

Jungkook turned to you, searching your eyes, but your gaze was stuck to him. You thought you wouldn’t see him again, thought bumping into him in the café would be a one time thing. You should have known though. Cinnamon guy. Only one person in this world was obsessed with cinnamon as much as he was, to the point he would be dubbed this nickname.

The devil costume was fitting, you thought. Only a devil could break hearts the way he had.

“Hi, I’m Jaehwa,” he smiled. “Nice to meet-”

It was Jimin who he spotted first. You didn’t have to look to know fury was etched into his features. Chaeyoung and Hoseok were the next people he saw, both staring him down. Jisoo gritted her teeth and cursed under her breath, garnering a worried look from Jennie.

You were the last one he saw. You didn’t draw his eyes to you anymore.

“Oh.”

Your throat constricted in a terrible knot when you locked eyes. He took your breath, in the worst ways possible. It felt like you were dying, choking to death.

And if you weren’t dying then, you definitely would be now when she came along, angel wings clipped to her back, two cups in her hands.

“Here, babe,” she said, not realising what she was walking in on, eyes trained on the cups. She froze when she lifted her head.

Your world came crashing down right then and there, going up in flames in front of you and burning down to ash. You stood there helplessly as the walls you had built collapsed in on you, burying you under all the rubble, lungs caving in. You tried to breathe, survive this- him, but you knew you couldn’t.

You didn’t feel Jungkook tighten his hand around yours, or hear him say your name. Your entire focus was on him, eyes unable to tear away. Jaehwa wasn’t like a car crash. He was the car barreling towards you, leaving you lying on the sidewalk, alone, wounded, hurt, on the brink of death.

“Uh, what’s going on?” Seokjin asked, gaze shifting between Jaehwa and you. His words barely cut through the tension hanging in the air.

His question was enough to snap you out of it though, your eyes shooting to Jungkook. Your gaze was desperate, pleading.

“We gotta go,” he announced, standing up and shoving your cup into Yoongi’s hands. Jungkook acted fast, placing his other hand on your back and getting you out of here, shielding you from the others with his body.

You lowered your head, not wanting to see the expression on their faces as you walked away. They didn’t know you were clawing away from a car crash.

Jungkook hurried his steps, barely hearing Jawhwa call your name. He caught up to you, hand wrapping around your wrist and pulling you back. But Jungkook was quick to intervene.

“Don’t fucking touch her!” he hissed, pushing his hand off you and stepping in front of you.

Jaehwa opened and closed his mouth several times. It was obvious. He had a lot to say, but couldn’t find the words.

“Please,” Jaehwa whispered, looking past Jungkook, trying desperately to catch your eye. But you avoided his gaze, squeezing Jungkook’s hand for dear life, staying ducked behind his broad shoulders.

“I’m sorry. Can we talk? Please? I just- I’m so sorry-”

“Dude,” Jungkook spat, drawing Jaehwa’s eyes back to him. It took him everything not to raise his voice. “Clearly, she doesn’t want to talk to you, or even be fucking near you. So leave her the fuck alone. I don’t care if you’re Jin’s friend, I won’t hesitate to throw your ass out of here if you keep going like that.”

It wasn’t an empty threat. Jungkook was dead serious. There had always been a cheerfulness swinging with his voice. Not now. His voice was low and icy, threatening almost. You swallowed.

“I-I just want to- Five minutes. Give me five minutes. It’s all I’ll need-”

“No,” Jungkook hissed, glaring down Jaehwa, “listen, she doesn’t want to talk to you. Fucking respect it. Don’t push this any further.”

You squeezed his hand.

“I just want to explain-”

“Jaehwa!”

Chaeyoung.

“Leave them alone,” she hissed, gaze hard and unreadable, jaw flexed. You were glad it was her and not Jimin. “Don’t be like this, Jaehwa. Not after the shit you pulled.”

Her words seemed to do it, Jaehwa finally backing away. He deflated, stared at you like a kicked puppy. It made Jungkook scoff. His grip tightened around yours as he led you away.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You squeezed your eyes shut.

Hearing Jaehwa say your name felt like a punch to your gut, like a knife through your already cracked heart, like the final blow to your head.

When you slipped back into the house, you heard nothing; the music, the shouts of your names, none of it reached you. It was like your head had been dunked under water, like your ears were still ringing from the car crash.

Jungkook didn’t offer up any friendly smiles to the people that tried to invite him to drinking games, walking past them like he hadn’t heard. He was mad. It was easy to see—the tension in his shoulders, the rigidness of his jaw, the heavy steps, the deep breaths. You could see it burning in his eyes. You hoped he wasn’t mad at you.

The silence continued in the car. The air was stifling tense, the walls trapping you in it. You didn’t dare to make a sound, didn’t dare to lift your gaze and look in his direction. You didn’t know what to expect.

You were sitting at a red light when Jungkook broke the silence, his eyes stuck to something in the distance.

“Are you okay?”

And it was that question, his voice soft and gentle, a total contrast to his demeanour, that broke you, cracked you in pieces, tore down your last defences. The tears came rushing down your cheeks, with no warning or build up at all. Your composure dissolved into nothing right then and there.

You bit your lip and turned your head away, trying so hard to make no sound. But Jungkook saw- knew. It broke his heart.

You curled your hands into fists, nails digging into your skin, leaving angry red marks as you tried to hold it all in. But the sobs ripped through your throat, forced your teeth apart and your mouth open.

Jungkook placed his hand on your knee, squeezing it.

“I’m here.”

You cried harder.

“I’m sorry.”

He turned to you. You were parked in front of your condo building. You weren’t sure for how long already, but Jungkook had just let you cry it out quietly, waiting patiently by your side.

“Don’t,” he told you quietly, squeezing your knee. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

You pressed your lips together and looked at his hand, where it rested, holding you tight. You thought of how he hadn’t let go even once. You turned it around, intertwining your fingers. Your grip was weak.

“No, but I do,” you whispered weakly, pressing your lips together and taking Jungkook’s hand into yours. You thought about how he hadn’t let go of you once during the entire ride- the entire night actually, you realised. You had always been the one to let go of his hand, not the other way around.

“What do you mean?” he asked, and you couldn’t meet his gaze, swallowing.

“I lied to you,” you admitted quietly, lowering your head in shame. “He isn’t bathroom guy.”

You closed your eyes. You didn’t want to see Jungkook’s reaction, see how his opinion of you changed. You didn’t think you could bear it.

“I know.”

You snapped your eyes open.

Jungkook smiled at you, smiled a soft smile. “I never actually believed you. It didn’t add up. Why would you storm out of the café if he was just some guy you talked to in the bathroom of some party?”

He knew. He knew and had let your lies slip. You felt like crying again.

“It’s fine,” Jungkook told you, as if he could sense it. “You don’t owe me the truth.”

You shook your head. “But I do-”

“Y/N, seriously. You don’t. You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not comfortable with sharing-”

“No, Kook,” you said, cutting him off. He stilled. You had called him ‘Kook’.

You made the decision right as you looked at him. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was because you were tired and the exhaustion made you weak, or maybe it was because you were done keeping up this front—rolling your eyes and groaning at every word he said.

“I want to. I want to share. I want you to know- to understand.”

Jungkook nodded. “Okay.”

“He isn’t bathroom guy,” you repeated, voice shaky. “Jaehwa- he is my ex. He and I dated for all of high school. He was my first boyfriend.”

You swallowed the lump growing in your throat. “He broke up with me the summer before college.”

Jungkook tightened his hand around yours. Your vision blurred, but you blinked it all away.

“His parents didn’t approve of our relationship anymore.”

Your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. But he heard you loud and clear. You looked out the window, traced the stars in the distant night sky.

“Anymore?”

Jungkook asked this quietly, like he wanted to give you the option to pretend you didn’t hear.

“Yeah.” It came out weak. You wanted to laugh at yourself. “His parents were fine with us dating in high school. They,” you actually laughed then, the things you were about to recall so fucking ironic, “were really nice to me.”

“What happened?”

“Well, they wanted for him to date someone proper in college.”

You could barely bring yourself to continue, the words hurting you to say.

“Someone more like them.”

Jungkook stared at you, his mind slowly beginning to piece together what you were saying.

“You know how Namjoon said that Jaehwa’s a family friend. A business partner?” You tucked a strand behind your ear. “Well, Jaehwa’s family has money. A lot of it.”

Jungkook sat back, his lips parting.

“They wanted someone more like them.” Your voice grew more and more bitter with every word. “Someone that knows why they give you different forks in those stupidly expensive restaurants. Someone that could also tell stories about their trip to Bali last month. Someone whose parents weren’t working multiple jobs to get by.”

He squeezed your hand, his mouth pressing into a hard thin line. Silence engulfed you, your words sinking in with him. He understood now, understood why you were so quick to judge, to roll your eyes and scoff at him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, cabbage.”

You nodded, appreciating his words. But the memories hurt all the same, tore your confidence and self-worth to pieces.

“They were really nice to me, you know?” you mumbled, feeling your throat constrict with tears. “They would let me stay over for dinner or stay over when it got too late. They would remember my birthday and get me presents too. They were so fucking nice to me. I-I just don’t understand.”

The tears fell. Jungkook wiped them away for you, realising soon enough though that it was in vain.

“I just don’t understand how they could smile at me and deem me as less than at the same time- deem me not worthy of their son.”

You screwed your eyes shut.

Jungkook lowered his head. He had nothing to say, nothing of use anyway.

You hated that you were crying, that after all this time, speaking about it still left you a wreck. You wished you could just forget about it, move past it. You wished you could say the experience hadn’t burned you.

The tears flooded down your cheeks endlessly, like a dam that had been broken through. Your hands were shaky as you dragged them under your eyes, over and over again, and though your cries were quiet, they pierced through the air clearly.

You couldn’t recall how long you sat there, crying, but by the end, your eyelids were heavy and swollen.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” you hiccuped, wiping away the last bits of tears. You knew you had to look like a wreck now, but Jungkook gave you a gentle smile, his doe eyes softly gazing into yours.

“Don’t. Stop apologising, cabbage.”

He wanted to ask you if you were fine, if you needed a hug maybe, but he knew not to. A few moments passed between you.

“What, uh, are you gonna do now?” Your voice was raspy, shaky, broken. “I mean,” you cleared your throat, trying to gather your composure, “are you, uh, gonna go back to the party?”

“Oh.” Jungkook puckered his forehead. “Yeah, I guess so. Where else would I go?”

You nodded.

“I think I’m gonna go now,” you mumbled after a few more moments, the seat belt snapping back. He nodded. You should rest, he thought.

You stepped out before turning to him. He offered you what was meant to be an encouraging smile, but you could see the exhaustion in his eyes.

“Goodnight, cabbage,” he whispered. “Please sleep-”

The question spilled from your lips before you could think too much about it, “You wanna come up?”

Jungkook froze.

“I mean just to pass some time- you don’t look like you wanna go back to a party,” you quickly added, heat crawling up your cheeks when you realised how it had sounded.

He looked at you. And you watched as his lips split into a smile. “I’d love that.”

In the first week you moved into your one-bedroom apartment, one of the light bulbs burned through. You hadn’t bothered to change it out yet, so when you flicked on the lights, your home was only dimly lit.

“Just, uh, make yourself comfortable, or whatever. Sorry for the mess.”

“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry,” he told you with a smile, kicking off his shoes.

You stared at him. You never had guests over. It felt weird to see Jungkook standing in your home.

You hastily picked up your clothes from the floor and tossed them into your laundry bin. “Uh, you want something to drink?”

“Yeah, water would be great,” he told you, looking around. “Thanks.”

You nodded, tempted to tell him there wasn’t much to see. Your one-bedroom apartment was sparsely decorated, your home equipped with the very most necessary furniture. But Jungkook gazed around like he was in a museum. You swallowed the words, and walked over to your refrigerator, picking up an empty ramen cup you had lying around and throwing it into the bin.

You grabbed two water bottles. You were about to call for Jungkook when you saw him inspecting the pothos you were propagating on your window sill—the only form of decoration you had made—and his name died on your tongue.

You couldn’t shake the feeling. It was weird to see him in your home, standing among the four walls you called yours. It felt like he was seeing more of you, like you were letting him in. Whether or not you liked that, or wanted that, you didn’t know.

“They’re cute,” Jungkook said when you handed him his water.

“Thanks. Just trying my best to keep them alive.”

You plopped down on your shabby little couch the tenant before you had left for you. The leather was worn down to the point it had split, little holes forming. Your couch looked like a slice of cheese. You used blankets and pillows to make up for it.

Jungkook followed you, sitting down as he sipped from his water. You were facing each other, sitting on opposite ends, cross-legged. Your knees were almost touching.

“I think my mother has these too,” he told you, looking over his shoulders at the pothos.

“Yeah? They’re very popular,” you said. You lifted the bottle to your lips, the cool water running down your throat. “You’re close with your family, aren’t you?”

He paused, raising a brow at you. “What makes you think that?”

“Oh, I just, uh,” you felt the heat crawl up your neck, “saw the family photo on your desk, so I assumed-”

He gave you a smile, and you were so tempted to kick him then.

“I’m close with them. I have them as my wallpaper too.”

He showed you, and you didn’t say you knew this already. You hummed, mumbling something about how they looked good. He grinned and put away his phone.

“It’s actually why I joined a frat,” he told you, and you looked at him. “When I moved out for college—don’t laugh now—,” you started smiling, “I was scared to live all on my own-”

Your smile turned into a grin.

He sighed. “Yes, I’ll admit it.” He put his hand above his heart. “I, Jeon Jungkook the Great, am also scared of things, one of them being living on my own and not finding my group of people in college.”

“‘Jeon Jungkook the Great’?” you snorted. “And you wonder why I’m judgemental.”

“That was a joke-”

“I know. I’m not stupid. I’m not Chae.”

You both shared a look, your lips splitting into smiles.

“Okay, but seriously?” you asked. “You were scared of not finding your group?”

He shrugged. “Believe it or not.”

“Well, everybody loves you now.”

“Please,” he waved you off, “not everybody-”

“People cheered when you walked in! They were all screaming your name like you were a rockstar! Don’t try to downplay it now.”

“Fine, people like me,” he sighed.

You looked at him and paused. “Did you?”

“What?”

“Did you find your group of people then?”

Jungkook stayed quiet, eyes drifting to the side as he thought of your answer. He smiled, nodding.

And he didn’t have to elaborate for you to know who he was talking about. Jungkook had found his people, just like you had with your friends.

“Do you ever feel guilty?” you asked, and he raised a brow.

“About what?”

“I mean we are lying to our friends when we say we’re,” you gestured between him and you, “you know?”

“Dating?”

You nodded.

“Well, not really.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t really feel like lying to me.”

You opened your mouth to tell him that should feel like lying to him because you were fake dating but-

“Do you?”

You sighed, puckering your forehead in thought. “I mean, yeah? A bit? Jimin’s gonna be so disappointed when we break up- I don’t know.”

“Do you want to stop then?”

The question had your head snapping up, and you were surprised when you were met with nothing but sincerity in Jungkook’s eyes.

“What?”

He shrugged. “I don’t want to keep this going if you feel guilty.”

“But… your bet with Tae?” you brought up, brows furrowing.

Jungkook waved you off. “So I’ll lose. I’ll survive.”

You frowned.

“No.” You surprised yourself with that answer. “No, don’t be ridiculous. We’ve already gotten so far. We’re committing.”

He smiled at you. “Okay.”

You looked away and busied yourself with your water, unscrewing it and taking a few big gulps. You fell into silence. You let your mind wander, think about the past couple of hours.

“Can I ask you a question?”

He looked at you, smiling. “One. You get exactly one question.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine, I’ll ask you exactly one question.”

You straightened up. You could feel your voice growing smaller in your throat.

“When we walked into the party,” you began, “you said the people there weren’t your friends.”

You closed your mouth, realising you weren’t sure what you wanted to ask.

“Is that your question?” An amused smile formed on Jungkook’s lips until he saw the knit between your brows and the serious look in your eyes.

“I don’t know. Maybe?” You sighed. “I just realised- you didn’t seem…. all that happy. You looked tense, stiff, and- really uncomfortable. Your smile was also,” you paused to find the right word, “off. It didn’t look all that genuine, and it’s not the first time I’ve realised this. When we were at the diner or when we were picking out costumes in the shop-”

You paused, sighed. Your voice grew quieter. “You force on your smiles, don’t you?”

Jungkook averted his gaze at your words, looking at the water bottle in his hand instead, and you watched as his smile slowly disappeared. You knew the answer. Your heart clenched in your chest.

“You know, cabbage,” he began, quiet like he was telling you a secret now, “for a while, I found it hard to find actual people that I could trust. People that were friends with me because they wanted to, and not because,” he chuckled wryly, “they were hoping I’d buy the shots at the bar for them, or get the most expensive gift for their birthday.”

Your face crumbled.

“You’re probably right when you say I, uh, force on smiles, but-” He paused, sighed. “I’ve come to realise that people don’t really wanna hear about the shit you’re going through. They wanna see you happy and enjoying yourself, so they can be blissfully happy and enjoy themselves too. And what better way to convey this but with a smile?”

Jungkook looked off to the side, shrugging. “In my head, I’m just always asking myself if they wanna talk to me right now because they care about what I have to say, or if they just wanna talk to me because they want to have a rich boyfriend who will fund their lavish spending habits?”

You knew he was referring to Narae, but you didn’t doubt for a second that there were other girls too.

“I mean I realise how stupid,” he rubbed his neck, “and privileged this sounds compared to- the thing with Jaehwa and you because at least I was—” you could see how hard he was thinking right now, desperately trying to find the right words, “—-never looked down upon, but-”

He sighed, lifting his gaze to you.

“It’s just hard for me to find people that like me for me- to find genuine people.”

You had never seen Jungkook this serious. It made you swallow. You wondered what he thought of you, how he saw you. You wondered if he thought you were genuine or not. Probably not. Why would he? He was paying you to fake date him. Right at that moment, you wished, for the very first time, that he and you had met under different circumstances, that the contract, the bet, all didn’t exist.

“Do you think I’m-?”

You trailed off, your voice giving up on you. But Jungkook knew what you were trying to ask.

“That was just your second question,” he reminded you, and you blinked at him.

“Right, I’m only allowed to ask one question, huh?” you huffed. He smiled, but it faded away when he saw the expression on your face.

He leaned back. “Can I tell you what I think of you?”

You looked at him. Your gut told you that you wouldn’t like what he had to say. For your own good, you should say no, spare yourself. If you were kinder to yourself, you would.

“Shoot.”

Jungkook straightened up and folded his arms in front of his stomach.

“I think—” You could barely hold his gaze. “—you’re scared. I think you’re scared to be open and honest. To be vulnerable. I don’t think you want to let people in. You don’t want them to get too close and see the real you behind all of the eye-rolling, scoffs, and snarky comments.”

“You’re actually someone who's kind and nice. Someone who cares deeply. Someone who would drop everything to pick up her drunk best friend in the middle of the night and sit on the curb with them.”

He paused.

“Someone who’s also judgemental at times, but that can be forgiven.”

A weak chuckle was the only response you could muster up, eyes tearing away from Jungkook because his words were ripping through you, digging in between your ribs and pulling out your tiny heart from there, pinning it to the front of your chest, like a brooch, stunningly beautiful but so goddamn fragile and delicate at the same time. He uncovered pieces of you that you would have liked to stay hidden, pieces of you that you thought would stay buried. He uncovered you like a book long forgotten about, the spine cracking when he flipped it open for the very first time in years.

You felt seen, completely taken in.

It terrified you.

“But that’s just what I think,” Jungkook finished, shrugging.

You bit your tongue.

“Well, I’m definitely not gonna miss being psychoanalysed by you when we break up,” you joked, trying to sound nonchalant. You didn’t think you succeeded.

“You gave me permission.”

And to that, you didn’t know what to say, your lips sealing shut. You focused on the water bottle in your hands, on how the cool spread into your fingertips.

“What are you gonna miss then?”

You lifted your gaze to Jungkook, throat growing tight.

“Maybe this?”

You watched as Jungkook pulled something out of his pocket, tossing it into your lap. With big eyes, you stared at the paper bag, the logo of your favourite bakery stamped on it, Seo’s Bakery.

“I asked Jisoo,” he said, giving you a smile.

You looked between him and the paper bag, mouth wide open.

“These are the right ones, right? The ones she had been talking about in the car? She didn’t trick me, did she?”

“Y-yeah,” you stammered, eyes finding his. “They, uh-” Your features softened. You nodded. “Yeah, they are the right ones.”

When you opened the bag, the faint smell of chocolate chip cookies wafted through the air, your mouth immediately began watering. But then you remembered where Jungkook had kept them, and your face soured.

“How long did you keep them in your pockets? Tell me you weren’t carrying them around all this time.”

“I had them in my car.” He rolled his eyes. “I was gonna give them to you by the end of today.”

You narrowed your eyes, pursing your lips.

“If you say so,” you mumbled and pulled out a cookie, hesitantly biting into it.

“Good?”

You nodded. You tasted no difference.

“Do I get one now?” Jungkook grinned, stretching out his hand. You would have laughed if you weren’t eating.

“No.”

He gawked at you before scoffing and shaking his head. “You’re unbelievable-”

The sound of his phone ringing cut through the air. You watched him pull it out with a sigh, mumbling something about how you were just saved by the bell, his screen lit up with Namjoon’s contact.

“Hi, what’s- yeah, no, we’re all good,” he said, and your chewing slowed. Namjoon’s voice was faint, barely audible.

You pulled out your own phone, swallowing when you saw the dozen of missed texts and calls. You were about to reply to them, assure your friends you were okay when out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jungkook try to steal one of your cookies. You slapped his hand away.

“Jeon!”

“Ow, shit- what? No, no, everything’s fine, Joon.” A dramatic pout formed on Jungkook’s lips as he looked at you, blowing on his hand. You rolled your eyes, but there was a smile sitting on your face, one that made him smile too.

“Yeah, I’ll be back soon. Yes, I promise, Joon.” He rolled his eyes, acting like Namjoon was an annoying mother. You laughed quietly.

“Don’t worry. Yes, Joon, I promise, again. I’ll see you-” Jungkook froze, his smile slipping. He lowered his head a bit. “Oh. Well, uh, thanks.”

You raised a brow when Jungkook finished the call.

“What was that?”

He waved you off, dropping his phone into his lap. Your suspicion grew.

“What, Jeon?” you pressed.

You could see how reluctant he was to tell you this, see the discomfort in him. It didn’t make you back away though. You wanted to know.

“Joon just-” Jungkook sighed and looked away. “He just told me they asked him to leave afterwards. They ended the party shortly after.”

His eyes flickered to you when he finished. You blinked at him, your mind having a hard time processing the information. You didn’t think they would ask Jaehwa to leave, or end the party for that matter.

“Oh,” you said, the only response you could come up with at that moment.

Your gaze shot to his phone when it lit up again, a new message. His lockscreen—the picture of him and the boys on his birthday—caught your eye.

“Was that, uh, your birthday?” you asked, clearing your throat. You hoped Jungkook would go along with it. He did.

“Oh, right, yeah! It was.”

“No big Beta Tau Sigma party for you, huh?” you chuckled, trying to lighten the air. It worked.

“Yeah, no big Beta Tau Sigma for me on that day,” Jungkook said. “I had two birthday parties. One on my actual birthday,” he showed you his phone, “and one a couple days later.”

You tongued your cheek. “You’re so privileged.”

He grinned. “You’re just jealous.”

You snorted and shook your head, but the smile on your lips was making it hard for him to take you seriously.

“You’re gonna thank me by the way?” Jungkook asked you, and you stared at him before comprehending what he was saying.

You rolled your eyes, sighing. “Thanks, or whatever.”

He clicked his tongue. “‘Thanks, or whatever’? Is that how you thank people? How you’ve been taught?”

You stared him down before heaving out a sigh, forcing on the fakest smile.

“Oh, Jeon, how may I ever repay you for your kindness? Thank you so very very much for buying me cookies. You’re a saint!”

You stopped smiling.

“Happy?” you hissed.

He clicked his tongue again. “I think you could do better. I just think your tone... could be more genuine, more thankful. I don’t know maybe I’m expecting too much from you too-”

You threw your half-eaten cookie into its paper bag before dropping it to the floor. Jungkook was challenging you, and you took it, gladly.

Thinking back, you still couldn’t figure out what prompted you to do this—whether it was the smug smirk on his lips that you wanted to wipe off, or the slight buzz you were feeling from all of the alcohol, or the fact that your heart had begun thrumming so hard and loud in your chest every time you looked at Jungkook now and you just couldn’t keep on ignoring it, especially not when he looked so beautiful sitting in your home.

The rest of his sentence died on his throat when you grabbed him by his collar and pulled him towards you, mouth crashing against his. As you kissed him, you noticed just how soft his lips were, realising you had never kissed lips this soft.

Jungkook was slow to react again, eyes wide and hands up in the air. But when it hit him what was happening, he pulled you close to him, hands finding around your waist, grip firm, fingers digging into your skin.

You ended up being the one to pull away.

“Thankful enough?” you breathed against his lips, face still impossibly close to his. You could count his eyelashes.

Jungkook stared at you, swallowing. He didn’t know how to respond, mouth opening and closing several times. You would have teased him for it if your heart hadn’t been pounding in your chest the way it was. You wondered if he could hear it, thumping against your ribcage—all because of him.

“You know what?”

“Uh, n-no,” he stammered, sounding breathless.

You smiled. “I think I can do better.”

You didn’t give Jungkook a moment to process your words before kissing him again. Your hands curled around his neck, fingertips in his hair. He pulled you into his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist and locking you in place. Like he was afraid if he didn’t hold on tight enough, you would disappear, turn out to be a figment of his imagination.

You weren’t sure whose hands wandered first, but by the time you parted, your costume was slipping off your shoulders, and Jungkook was sitting in front of you with half of his chest exposed. He cupped your face.

“You sure about this?” he asked you quietly. “I know you had a bit to drink.”

He gazed into your eyes. You knew Jungkook would put a stop to all of this the moment you said the word, the moment you gave him the impression, for even just a second, that you didn’t want this. You knew he wouldn’t mind crashing on your couch, or even driving back home. It made answering so much easier.

“I’ve never been more sure,” you told him. “Are you sure about this?”

And then, he gave you a smile, a smile that had your chest growing tight with anticipation and excitement, and a fire rising in the pit of your stomach, your entire body set alight.

When Jungkook kissed you, your breath hitched in your throat, taken aback by the vigour he was pressing his lips against yours. He swooped you up in his arms, standing up from the couch to wander to your nearby bed. But the sound of something cracking interrupted you two. You pulled away and looked down.

Jungkook had stepped on your cookies. He cursed. The corners of your mouth turned downwards, your bottom lip jutting out.

“I’ll buy you cookies first thing tomorrow,” he said upon seeing your expression change, pressing a peck on your pout. “I’ll buy you an entire bakery.”

You turned to him, grinning. “Really?”

“Anything for you.”

And then you were kissing him again, hands cupping his face like you were holding the most delicate thing out there. Jungkook carefully and slowly placed you on your bed, the air knocked out of you when you hit the mattress. A giggle tumbled from your lips. He laughed too, hovering above you, caging you in with his arms.

“You good?”

You nodded, grabbing his face to plant another kiss on his mouth. Soon enough your smile disappeared, his lips trailing down your jawline and neck. Your breathing shallowed out. It made a smirk grow on his face, a smirk you usually would roll your eyes at, but you didn’t have the nerve to now.

The kisses never stopped. Jungkook kept on pressing them to every inch of your skin you allowed him to see and touch, like he never wanted you to forget how soft his lips were, like if you were going to forget this night and him at one point, you were at least going to vividly remember the kisses he stamped on your body, marked you with.

By the end, the sun was slowly spilling into the night sky.

“Your first sunrise,” he pointed out, and you smiled.

“Yeah, my first sunrise.”

The sky was clear, the sun white as it inched up the horizon, bleeding its light into the night and colouring everything in a breathtakingly beautiful orange, warmth expelling the cold autumn night. And right at that moment—as you lay in Jungkook’s arms in your small bed, in your even smaller one-bedroom apartment, your breaths slowly evening out, naked and exposed in every sense possible—you found a sense of peace. It planted itself in your chest, wiggled through your ribs and settled there. Everything was fine, perfectly fine. You knew, it was too good to be true. But you stopped yourself from thinking about it, quieting that voice in your head that told you this was going to end up in flames in a few weeks time, that told you to run and hide. You allowed yourself to enjoy this, for now.

“The second thing you did on your bucket list today.”

You tore your gaze to him, raising a brow.

“Second?”

Jungkook smirked.

“Yeah, I mean you just did me, right?”

You blinked at him a handful of times before scoffing and turning away, shoving him by his shoulder. You rolled your eyes. You should have known. Jungkook laughed and when his laughter died down, he twisted you around and captured your mouth in a kiss. And as much as you wanted to act like you were annoyed with him, you couldn’t resist the kiss, so your hands winded up in his hair.

“You were never on my bucket list,” you told him when you parted, mumbling it against his lips.

Jungkook laughed, humming before pressing kisses to your face after every word. “I should be.”

You scrunched your nose and tried to twist away from him, but you failed miserably—maybe because your bed was small and there was no space to escape to, or maybe you were tired, or maybe, just maybe, because you weren’t actually trying, didn’t want to pull away from his kisses, maybe you didn’t actually want to pull away from him, maybe you liked having Jungkook in your arms, liked holding him, liked being around him. You were quick to bury those thoughts though, settling on the first reason, lack of space to escape to.

Jungkook pulled the blanket over your bodies when he saw how heavy you were blinking, realising sleep was taking over you.

“Didn’t you tell Joon you’d be back soon? You’re not scared you’re gonna be in trouble?” And even though the vision was blurring, you saw the grin that grew on his lips. Jungkook wrapped his arm around your middle and buried his nose into the crook of your neck.

“You’re worth the trouble.”

And then, he pressed one more kiss to your shoulder. You didn’t try twisting away his time, mustering up a tired smile, your eyelids falling shut. Slowly, you slipped into sleep. But you still heard him say it, the words mumbled against your skin, quiet like a secret.

“I love you, cabbage.”

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