bones sexuality headcanons
yeah i dont have proof (except angela) i just Know. call it my lesbian spidey senses. disclaimer that those are MY headcanons, you can have your own opinions on those ofc
main characters:
brennan: bi (preference for ugly men... but i digress). she probably started exploring her sexual orientiation in college and came to the conclusion that she's attracted to every gender to varying degrees. she's probably tongue kissed angela a few times pre season 1
booth: cishet ally! ⭐️ he's a bit confused but he's got the spirit, i'll give him that.. bi wife energy start playing whenever he walks into the room
zack: gayboi with a bad case of hero worship for dr brennan. naomi from paleonthology made him realise this isnt really what he'd like to excavate, if you get the gist... ;) (ew)
angela: imo? bi, but it's up to anyone. canon queer and i'm very happy about it
hodgins: bi. putting my foot down on this one- to me, hodgela is bi4bi. one day early into the series angela goes "why is everyone so hot... being bi is so hard" and hodgins is like "yeah, tell me about it" and they have a Oh, You Too? moment
cam: distinguished (ex-disaster) pan. she's all cool and collected now but in middle school she was probably stuttering whenever she saw a pretty girl
sweets: pan. boykisser. i just KNOW. that man is not heterosexual. probably had a few boyfriends in high school too
aubrey: bi? preference for women but in an alternate universe he and sweets are a thing
goodman: token straightie along with booth except i actually like him even tho even tho he took a 2 month sabbatical and never came back
squinterns:
clark: bi. a bit repressed and only realised it after breaking up with nora but as long as he gets there it's fine
daisy: pan. absolute girlkisser. she has the wlw equivalent of whatever zack felt for dr brennan. swaisy is a disaster pan couple.
fisher: pan- and i wont have it any other way. he was 100% checking sweets out when he came over to b&b's in s8, so i like to think when hodgins asks sweets "what is it with you and interns?" in 9x23 he's including fisher
wendell: bi and in a lab au he's dating vincent thank you
vincent: english twink and i think he and wendell should kiss in the lab lost & found
arastoo: straightie but we still love him. pan wife energy since he and cam are married
finn: god, i have No Idea but i have a feeling he doesn't either
wells: aro, and maybe ace too, but fyi even if he wasn't no one would want him
jessica: ... i used to say lesbian but i kinda let the jaubrey of it all get to me... pan vibes perhaps? i'll have to think it over. in another universe she and daisy are a thing too btw
other characters:
caroline julian:... lesbian. no i will not give an explanation for this one. sham marriage and all.
karen delfs: big pansexual energy coming from this random profiler?? i like her
villains: (do not take those seriously, but also...)
pelant: unlabeled. getting strangled by hodgins awoke something in him but he didnt have the time to figure it out between 8x01 and 9x04
taffet: very VERY mean lesbian
epps: heterosexual incel
broadsky: internalised homophobia over booth, clearly
kovac: the man pretended to be married to his sister. i'm not sure i even wanna know
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Type - Pt.1
Oliver Wells x shyish reader
You silently watched Angela press the icons on her tablet and demonstrate each one’s purpose. It’s been a few hours, and you’ve learned so much. She was a good teacher.
“Ok, so if you want to upload a sketch and compare it to the international database,” she points her manicured finger to the screen. “Choose this option, but if you want a certain country's database, pick this option and scroll through the list.” She looks at you to see if you understand, and you simply nod.
“Ok, great. I think that's enough for today. Do you wanna grab lunch with me? Brennan’s with Booth, and Hodgin’s still working.” She asks as she puts her coat on.
“Yeah, that’d be great.” You reply as you grab your belongings. Dr. Saroyan has recently hired you to be the assistant face reconstructor and tech helper since she cut Angela’s hours. Working on the small cases when she was off. You were also new to the city and had to make new friends, adapting to the new area. You were really glad Angela was such a nice person, she was the first person your introverted self really got to know.
“SO,” Angela exclaimed. “Have you met anyone?” She asked with a cheeky grin and teasing tone.
You shy away “ Oh, please. Do you know how hard it was to talk to Finn, If I can’t talk to him, how am I going to talk to others, let alone other guys.” You slung your bookbag over your shoulder as you both exited her office.
“Come on, you’re literally the hottest chick here, there is no way you couldn’t at least get some guy's attention.”
“I-, well thank you but guys like confident and hot girls like you, not when they're shy as a preschooler.”
“So step out of your bubble, what can go wrong?” Angela stops and looks at you desperately.
You stop to look at her. “I’ll make a fool of myself.” Looking down, you continued walking until you felt your shoulder bashed.
“Oh, I’m sorry-”
“Can’t you look where you walk?” He says with an irritated tone, looking back at you with a scowl. You took in his features in the quick second you had; untamed brown wavy hair, brown eyes, lean physique. For a rude dude, he was pretty attractive.
“Hey, it was just an accident. Don’t need to be a douche.” Angela steps in, and you mentally note to thank her later, knowing you would've walked away as usual.
“Yes, it’s my fault that they had their head down, and chose to walk instead of paying attention to others.” He proceeded to walk away.
“I can’t believe men like him are allowed to exist,” Angela rolled her eyes and peered at you. “Are you okay, though?” She asks as her hand touches your upper arm.
“No, I’m okay.” You gave her a small smile, you both walked towards the exit.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s been a couple of days since the encounter with the douche, but you couldn’t forget about him. Something was alluring about him, and you didn’t know if it was your bad taste in men or his pretty brown eyes and harsh persona.
You are currently sitting in Angela’s office, finishing up a sketch of the current victim. She was believed to have been murdered over 30 years ago, a simple librarian. You analyzed the skull and sketched faint lines and the arch of the victim's cheekbones. Even though you had the identity down, you wanted to practice.
“Hey”
“Angela? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be preparing for Brenann’s wedding?” You inquired, hearing loud noises from the platform.
“Listen, I need you to do me a favour and quickly get this done, especially before Brenann’s wedding,” She replied
Yeah, of course, what is it?”
“Basically, Brennan is getting worried, and she’s not gonna have a calm wedding without this case being done. And I need you because I need someone to help the interns recreate a scenario. Would you be able to do that?”
Oh my gosh, that's what all the noise is. You peered through the glass and saw all the interns, including the douche. You internally groaned, you were only familiar with the team, and getting used to the new interns is a whole ‘nother level.
“Listen, I really need it, and I know you’re not comfortable with them, but they really aren't that bad. Just imagine them as a pack of smart and horny virgins, except for Wendell and Clark, the virgin part.”
“How do you even know- oh right, you and Wendell.” You looked down at your sketch. You know it would be awkward at first, but it’d be a great way to meet them all. Plus, you're as good as Angela with her program. It’d be fine. You exhaled, you knew you were going to regret it.
You looked at Angela, she had her desperate look on; eyebrows scrunched, slightly hunched, head tilted. “Okay, I’ll do it.”
“OMG, thank you so much. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” She quickly dashes out of her room, and you watch through the glass as she talks to the interns.
You hoped you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of the smart dorks, it’s already embarrassing in front of the douche. You quickly gathered yourself and continued drawing the victim's face.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“That's quite an impressive drawing.” You jumped as you felt someone's breath hit your shoulder.
“Ha, thank you-” You turned around to meet the eyes of the douche from before, groaning internally.
“The zygomatic arch is too high, though, and the eyes are too close.” He rambled on while you took the criticism. You didn’t mind, you knew he was just trying to help or simply belittle you.
“Right, thanks…” You proceeded to take a picture of the drawing to compare it to the actual victim's face.
“I’ll be taking the skull now.” He grabs the tray with the skull on it, walking away quickly.
He didn’t even ask you, you rolled your eyes.
“Hi there, you must be the new mini Angela. I’m Fisher, one of the better-looking interns.” He introduced himself, a flirty smile appearing.
“Oh, hi. It’s Y/N and yeah, I guess I am.” You laughed a little, liking his manners.
Well, Y/N, here are the inputs for the Angelatron. If you need anything, and I mean anything. I’m your guy.” He winks as he hands you a file.
Well, thank you, I’ll take that into consideration.” You grabbed the file and watched as he walked away, taking a quick glance as he exited the office.
Well, that was weird.” You chuckled to yourself, tucking your hair behind your ear. Your face feels hot.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You finished creating the scenario in about half an hour, driven by the relief you’ll feel after finishing the case. You had concluded the victim fell downstairs and even found the building that matched the injuries. Now that you have completed your work, you have to consult with the interns. You walked to the door and inhaled. Gosh, why couldn’t this be easy? You slowly walked towards the platform, already feeling the sweat form in your palms.
BEEP BEEP BEEP.
The alarm went off as you climbed the platform, startling the interns and causing them to look at you. You were frozen and felt the heat rushing to your face.
“Hah, don’t worry, I got you.” You watched as a young, pale man with blue eyes, blonde hair, and a strong build jogged toward you and swiped his card to stop the ringing. “It’s okay, it happens to everyone.” He sheepishly smiles, his eyes giving you comfort.
You continue to walk the stairs. “Thank you, uh.”
“The name’s Wendell, nice to meet you.” He holds out his palm. “Fisher told us about you.”
You shake his hand, feeling the calloused palm but a strong grip. You hoped he didn’t feel your sweaty palms. You watch as Wendell receives a glare and “dude” from Fisher. You shyly laugh, glancing at the rest of the interns; they do seem friendly-, not that one. The douche doesn’t even glance at you, ignoring him, you gave your attention to the rest of the interns.
“I just finished the scenario with the given inputs, just wanted to check if it was right.” You patted yourself on the back for correctly saying what you rehearsed. “I also got the set of stairs the victim fell down.”
The interns all looked at each other, You didn’t mess up, did you? Ugh, good job, Y/N; you just wasted their time. They talked with each other, using terminology you sort of understood.
“How did you know it was a flight of stairs?” A handsome and tall brown-skinned man asked.
“I knew it was stairs, you guys, you didn't give me a chance to talk” A petite white woman squeaked.
“Daisy, all you ever do is talk,” Fisher stated, making the other interns snicker.
“It was the computer, really.” To avoid attention and the need to talk, you said. You walked back to the office, hearing their voices behind you. You picked up the tablet and played the scenario.
“It’s the right scenario.” You nervously looked at the intern who spoke, it was the douche. But you couldn’t lie, approval from him was keeping you calm.
“What is the point of us if a machine figured out what six interns couldn't?” Dr.Clark exclaimed, and you giggled at his point.
Well, thank you very much for consulting us,” Fisher said in a flirty tone. “Would you care for a cup of coffee later?”
Your eyes widened as his tall complexion hovered over you. “Oh, um, well-” You nervously bit your lip as you felt the interns stare at you both.
“Come on, man, she just helped us. Do you want her to despise us next?” You watched as Arastoo pulled Fisher toward the door.
Ugh, come on, I haven’t been with a hot chick in a while; give me a break!” Fisher shouted as his voice began to break. You blushed at his compliment.
The interns began to leave, and with each one gone, you felt the relief you were looking forward to.
“You lied.”
You turned towards the rude intern, surprised to know he acknowledge your work. You crossed your arms and demanded proof.
“The Angelatron cannot create solutions; it can only display the imputed information. You had to conclude that the victim fell down the stairs. Why didn’t you say that?” He demanded.
“I just didn’t think it was relevant, plus I didn't want to boast in front of a bunch of geniuses.” You turned off the Angelatron and started packing your things.
“Boasting isn’t bad to do once in a while.”
Well, that’s coming from a guy who doesn’t do anything but boasts,” You said as you walked past him, giving him a glare.
He grabs your arm. Unlike Wendell’s, his hands were soft and cold, giving you chills going down your back and butterflies in your stomach. You looked back at the sudden contact.
“Listen, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what happened the other day. I will try to be better.” He tried to give you a smile but ended up looking like he was constipated. You just knew Angela was up to this.
“Oh, don’t worry about it.” You gave him a proper smile.
“Seriously Wells? I was starting to like you.” You both turn your heads to see Fisher, looking at Wells’ hand holding your arm. You took your arm back, trying to conceal the blush on your face. As you were about to reply to Fisher, he got stolen by Arastoo again. You giggled, knowing these two would be good company. You began to walk away.
“Would you go on a date with-” You hoped he said himself “Fisher?”
You stopped. “No,” you say, turning your face to glance at Wells, “he’s not my type.” He watched as you disappeared from his view, exhaling the breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He smiled to himself as he felt his heart beating out of excitement. Could he be your type?
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