#Our Flag Means Death adjacent

[ivyblossom]

Creators, Fans, and Shame (mine)

This is not going to be a useful exploration that adds any value to fandom. This is just my personal fannish agony, documented in the hopes that I can leave it behind somehow.

I'm struggling to cope with the fact of a showrunner who actually seems to be pro-fan. I love it, it's amazing, I'm so grateful, it makes me happy, but then it also scares me. Can any showrunner start out pro-fan, and stay pro-fan?

Which, as I say it, sounds ridiculous. Surely people who create media like their fans. But we know the truth of it: creators have hated fans like us forever. We are used to being hated. We are used to be belittled and mocked. There's a part of my psyche that is just pure shielding at this point because I'm so used to it that I've gotten pretty good at blocking stuff out.

You know what stuff: I think I still have a copy of a cease & desist letter from a creator's laywers addressed to a fan for deigning to make fanfiction available on the internet: that's the kind of reaction I'm familiar with and used to. (It wasn't addressed to me, it was to someone I knew, but weren't we all making fanfiction available? Wasn't it sort of directed at all of us?) And all the laughing interviews, the jokes, the dismissal, being framed as stupid, vapid teen girls (why must everyone hate teen girls? I ask you) actors reading fanfiction in front of an audience for gross, humiliating laughs (my heart goes out to the fan writer that happened to: I cannot imagine, I just cannot), the discomfort with our existence, the dismay that we have voices and react to things, the outrage. We get embarrassed by it. We police each other to try and prevent it (I am guilty of this, and I'm sorry).

We have often been fans in spite of creators who behave this way towards us. The communities we build around a shared language and the stories we tell becomes more important to us than the original content. Fanwork is often criticism: a repair job, a rescue, a different, better narrative choice, or character choice. Does this kind of negative creator reaction to fandom make negatively-inspired fanwork more likely? I don't know.

It's tough when you admire creators so much and they turn around and sneer at you and laugh at you. It feels very personal and humiliating. Don't meet your heroes, etc. etc. right? I feel very weird about all this, because these creators that I admire so much, they don't know me, they're not aware of me at all. For good or for ill, it's not about me, really. We become a mass, a collective noun. But still, it is, on some level, also about me. It is personal.

I don't know what to do with any of this. the humiliation of getting scolded by a showrunner you admire, or even the delight of their joy in fandom when it comes, honestly. Parasocial relationships are a trip. I am very embarrassed about them. When I see any of my heroes in real life I am immediately so embarrassed by my own anonymous excitement that I can only pretend that I don't know who they are. My own one-sided admiration overwhelms me. And embarrasses me. That's a me thing.

Fundamentally I'm struggling now because I've believed in creators before and been let down by them. I've believed that they understood us and wouldn't lash out and hurt us in these specific ways. And I've been very wrong.

And you know, I don't even mean the queerbaiting, honestly. I mean being framed by people we deeply admire as silly, gross, dumb idiots who got it all horribly, self-indulgently wrong, you dumbasses. That really hurts in a way that sticks.

I have my own way of dealing with the queerbaiting thing, but maybe that's also just my shielding. Maybe I've created a way to process it to make it okay because of how common it's been through my whole life, and how much I want to be able to love certain swaths of media, I don't know.

But I don't need a story to do certain things in order to love it, or for it to be queer enough for me, or whatever. My struggle is with how creators talk about fans rationally reading stories as queer. David Jenkins called it gaslighting, and I think he's 100% correct. To dismiss and deny that the reading is there and reasonable at all is hurtful in a way that I find hard to describe. Gaslighting is the right word for it, because it's an abuse tactic. And that's how it feels.

And now I'm going to get into this: I want to talk about Sherlock. (Oh god, really? Yes. Yes, I'm going to talk about it, hopefully just this once, and then let it go.)

When I first saw Sherlock S1 when it aired, I thought it was wonderfully slashy in a self-aware way, and given that it's kind of a prequel, "how Sherlock Holmes becomes Sherlock Holmes," and how they were already framing the relationship, I figured that the story would give in to the romance on some level, though I figured it probably wouldn't be in an on-the-nose way. I imagined it would be romantically ambiguous to the end, and to be honest, after 4 series, I will still argue that that's exactly what it ended up being.

I remain perfectly confident in the argument that Sherlock is very much a story about two men who fall desperately in love with each other, but have so much personal baggage that they can't do anything with the truth of that love other than wrestle with it, know that it's true and real, and have to find a way to live with the sheer impossibility of it.

Conceptually, I like that story, even if it's queerbaity. I think it's immensely tragic and beautiful, monstrous and beautiful, and while it would suck for every story to be like that, I loved a story that would play with love in that way. I loved writing fanfiction that explored and pushed through that tension. The fact of the romantic impossibility was a sort of invitation to write ways that it could happen. Is that strange? Maybe that's just a coping mechanism I've developed. Anyway. I was okay with the story. It's sort of queering the backstory of these two men in Arthur Conan Doyle's stories, giving them this fraught romantic history.

There's a whole mess in there about fandom conspiracies and whatnot. I really never understood any of that and I was truly shocked by what happened in fandom when series 4 aired. I'm embarrassed that I didn't see it coming when the signs were there, and that I didn't understand it that fannish shipping had tipped over into something else that I still can't completely wrap my head around, so I won't pretend to have a useful opinion about any of that.

What hurt me the most wasn't the way the narrative about the relationship resolved. It was the way the creators talked about it the queer reading of the story, and about us, after series 4 aired. As if we were gross and silly and wrong. And ridiculous. And offensive. And they were angry with us.

I realize creators see fandom from a very different vantage point than I do, and I'm sure there's more going on than I can possibly be aware of, real life stuff, scary stuff fans may have been up to, but the dramatic reaction from the Sherlock creators dismissing all the very legible and originally self-aware romantic elements of their own story shocked the hell out of me, and made me feel...well, stupid and ashamed, honestly. Because I didn't see any of that coming on any level. I thought they understood us.

I didn't, and still don't, see anything wrong with wanting an implied queer romance to go from subtext to text. I didn't see anything wrong with arguing that it could, or even that it should. What would actually happen in the story was a whole other matter, but the fannish conversations about the potential of the narrative were fair and legit, as far as I'm concerned. I never expected to be told that I was imagining it the whole time. I trusted that Steven Moffat in particular wouldn't do that. And I'm embarrassed that I believed that he wouldn't. I'm hugely disappointed that he did.

And I'm embarrassed that I'm embarrassed, because of the parasociality of it all! Steven Moffat doesn't know me. It's not about me. But, at the same time, it is. I'm part of that collective noun. And I wasn't wrong about that story.

And now I think David Jenkins would not do that to us, and I truly believe he wouldn't, because he's already confirmed it in the text and in conversations about the text. We're free. I think he actually understands. He seems to understand it better than I do. I like the way he frames it. He's given me a way to think about all this that's actually very useful, and healing. And because this story isn't gaslighting us, there shouldn't be a whole dialogue about fans getting it wrong and stupid, sex-obsessed girls. Right?

Right?

I need a hug.

#fannish angst #old Sherlock wounds #David Jenkins #Our Flag Means Death adjacent

[sassy1121]

Orange Shirt™️ except I'm your mom and I shop on ebay. Does anyone need a snack or a bandaid?

#my face #our flag means death adjacent

[ecoamerica]

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[mxmollusca]

... you.

inspired by this post by @theindiscreetbookworm

#i'm feeling very normal and not feral at all #absolutely not rending my clothing #blackbonnet adjacent insomnia #ofmd #our flag means death

[celluloidbroomcloset]

Oh no. They're both hot...

Oh no.

#ofmd #our flag means death #adjacent i guess #madeleine sami #rhys darby #totally normal for rhys darby tumblr association #gif #so this is apparently a new thing for me to think about #hm

[ed-teach]

No need to textually address the Archie, Jim, Olu polycule, they're sharing a bed, calling each other babe, being silly together as a family... Peak rep

#as a polycule adjacent person who gets in on the cuddles and vibes. thats so good to see aaaaa ❤️ #also generally good to see but it hits so good #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 #our flag means death #quip #jim jimenez #oluwande boodhari #archie ofmd

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

psa just in case anyone doesn't know! they're showing ofmd 2.06 and 2.07 at a comic con event today at 6 PM EST, so if anyone wants to avoid spoilers (which i sure do!), it's a great idea to start blocking tags etc.! (or i guess -- avoid tumblr? if anyone's humanly capable of that? but idk if that's a thing that's actually possible. i've heard about it, but never experienced it.)

#I WILL NOT HAVE A SINGLE PRECIOUS MOMENT OF THIS TOO-SHORT SEASON SPOILED FOR ME BY GOD!!!!!!!! #i'm so normal; this blog is the continuing saga of my normalness #our flag means death #ofmd #update: it might just be comic con adjacent? i'm not really sure why it's happening! but i've heard about it in multiple places!

[funforahermit]

I think these are the finished Stede inspired bracelet arrangements that I'm gonna wear!!

iconic season 1 aqua/turquoise/whatever that colour is called costume

season 2 cursed suit (the red is darker than it looks!)

mermaid x)

season 2 leather trousers and dark teal shirt <3

They're not perfect, but I did the best I could with what I could find :)

#the full versions are just for special occasions #but i'll wear like one or two bracelets at a time of one colour or the other in everyday life just to cheer myself up #i could have added screenshots of the costumes to this post but i'm too lazy #you all know what i'm talking about #cosplay #?? not really but adjacent #rhys darby #our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #ofmd s2 spoilers #(barely but yk)

[internerdionality]

@dylanndr I saw this and knew you needed to know about it immediately.

#izzy hands #izzy as fruit bat #fruit bat #vampire adjacent #our flag means death #ofmd

[hmserebusadjacent]

Still here, still pining away over Izzy. I'm sure I'll be back with more Izzy stories soon, but my interests have diverged slightly for now.

Izzy is still here though, and when he comes back into my mind he always softly says "Like I'd ever fuckin' leave you."

#izzy hands #izzy hands era #izzy fucking hands #izzy hands our flag means death #our flag means death #izzy hands x reader #izzy hands x male reader #erebus adjacent writes izzy hands

[iveneverseenthesebowlsbefore]

Omg I knew I knew Ned from somewhere.

(For my 90s girlies, he was Duarto in First Wives Club)

I must have watched this scene a million times as a kid I can't believe I didn't recognize him.

Edit - found the whole scene!

#ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #(adjacent) #ned low #bronson pinchot #i love that movie and he was my fave #like i loooooved him #loved! #movies #first wives club #watch this #it's so silly #every time he freaks out at the window i lose it

[venusdebotticelli]

Soooo Ed is definitely present in this scene, then, isn't he?

Ed and Stede bickering like hell while crashing at Anne and Mary's, (maybe in hiding after their fight with the navy on that beach, although Stede's still-dirty starter clothes make me doubt that), and they still haven't sorted their shit out. They are so insufferable that Anne decides to take matters into her own hands, by aiming to make Ed jealous and push him to work things out with Stede?

Also inspired by the vibes I get from that scene, where Ed is tooootally insisting he doesn't care about Stede, oh yeah, Stede who? Pfst 🙄

"What, you two know each other?"

#ofmd s2 #Our Flag Means Death #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #ofmd s2 speculation #ofmd s2 spoilers #Anne Bonny #Mary Read #Krakhouse #Born On A Beach #Thrilled To Be Granted Entry #Coolification writes #barely :p #Also y'know with the thor reference being adjacent to both taika and rachel house :p #Even if it's not a direct quote I'm predicting those vibes

[sassy1121]

What's that? Selfies two days in a row?? Well it's not my fault that I found this dress while I was out thrifting this week, it was accidentally filed WITH THE SLEEPWEAR, and when I pulled it out, both my child and I were like "BREAKUP ROBE??"

It even has fuckin tassels! 👀

Anyway I added pockets to it yesterday and I'm wearing it everywhere from now on.

#my face #our flag means death adjacent #also i learned yesterday that there's a bot blog that reblogs everyone's selfies #not sure how i feel about that but hello selfie blog 👋

[mxmollusca]

I just want to watch Stede brush Ed's hair away from his face and say "there you are" so I can die gay and at peace thank you

#blackbonnet adjacent insomnia #ofmd #our flag means death

[celluloidbroomcloset]

I'm sure this has been posted around, but I still haven't stopped thinking about Boy. This scene has greater resonance in the context of the rest of the film, but just the combo of the Thriller dance with the Haka to "Poi E"...

#Youtube #taika waititi #boy 2010 #our flag means death #adjacent #ofmd #and if you haven't seen boy #see it #it is a remarkable film #raised my respect for taika as a filmmaker and an actor #which was already pretty high #fucking primal scream of a movie

[gydima]

Incorrect Stede Bonnet quotes (because Episode 3 already proved he's OFMD's Charles Boyle)

Screencaps by @neverscreens

#incorrect ofmd quotes #stede bonnet #ofmd #our flag means death #i mean c'mon #someone buy my booty? #man for sale? #stede bonnet = charles boyle #b99 adjacent

[ladyluscinia]

I don't often block purely for bad takes found in the wild, but what the everloving fuck is this:

"Uses the toe thing against Ed". Is this person insane? Huh? Are you insane? If Izzy - who got his toe cut off in the middle of the night and fed to him by his boss, and then was immediately expected to jump to following orders - uses this against said boss, you're going to take this as validation he's abusive and in fact worsening his abuse.

Abuse against Edward? The boss who cut his toe off???

Izzy???? Who you yourself admit in your post that you can't find an example of making an unambiguous threat of harm (worse than "watch your step") or committing any sort of physical violence against Edward!

If he is, idk, upset about being maimed in his sleep in the next season (which may actually start with the wound getting worse?), then that's a fucking DARVO tactic now that baby's first psych 101 course has introduced you to the concept???

We are supposed to see this as DARVO abuse tactics in - and this is crucial to remember - in the Gay Pirate Romcom????

The Gay Pirate Romantic Comedy that a fairly mainstream (how is this take not from a batshit corner of internet?) section of the fandom believes (???) wrote a bigotry motivated domestic abuse arc between their love interest and the primary loser antagonist. You know. As a fun little side thing. Where it's a deep examination of how abuse isn't always so clear by having the character in the position of authority be the only one to commit physical violence and the undeniable abuse victim at the same time. This makes sense so stop questioning it, because if you do you are an abuse apologist and probably a racist.

What. The Fuck.

Like this is so far beyond character wank or just having piss poor media interpretation, and naturally they ended with snide remarks toward everyone who hasn't completely rewritten the show to believe this over the past year. You know, in case you thought it was just limited to character wank. This is... I don't even know what this is. Forging new roads of making up shit in "your blorbo sucks and my blorbo is perfect" discourse to actively harass people over.

(If anyone with zero context is stumbling across this I cannot emphasize enough that genuinely the dynamic in the show is two pirates being kinda shitty to each other with divorce vibes. Antagonist tries to get his boss's new boyfriend killed because he hates the boyfriend as a person (and to advance the plot), boss punches him in the face, <insert laughs>. Despite how gruesome the toe thing sounds, the humor is pretty violent so like the boss isn't an abuser either. He's super sympathetic (he was having a bit of a breakdown) and literally just needs to say sorry to mark his character growth. It's a romcom.)

#our flag means death #at least they tagged it with a crit tag #small mercies #i'll put my tag on here for #ofmd harassment #since it's kinda adjacent #also like definitely not abuse but i guess seeing abuse terminology so grossly misused could be upsetting so #abuse #ladyluscinia