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saveyourheartforme · 4 years

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The Entire Folklore Storyline Pieced Together

so I’ve given it some thought and I think this is how the Folklore story comes together.

Disclaimers: obviously this is my interpretation I could be 100% wrong and am open to suggestions

also some fragments of this have come from twitter/instagram/other tumblr posts ive read over the past few days but I put the pieces together on my own (if this has been said already by someone else im so sorry and full credit to you but i havent read a full theory anywhere else yet <3)

our story starts with seven: betty is young and completely naive. the summer she is seven years old she meets Inez, who has an abusive father, hence the part

“And I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why And I think you should come live with me And we can be pirates Then you won't have to cry”

they become incredibly close that summer because inez spends a ton of time at betty’s house to escape her father. they cease to be friends at some point after the end of this song due to the fact that they developed feelings for each other but were too scared to be public with a relationship (”hide in the closet” line). betty starts to date james in high school.

cardigan: we pretty much already know that this is betty’s POV of the love triangle situation and the heartbreak she feels about the breakup and being cheated on. however i have a theory that betty was in love with inez and james was there to fill that void she felt after losing her friendship with inez and hence the hope that it would become more. hear me out. references to “heels” and “black lipstick” which are associated more with girls. “playing hide of seek” seems childlike, which is a reference to the time betty and inez spent together in “seven”. finally, “when you are young they assume you know nothing” could reference the fact that adults often tell kids they’re too young to know their sexuality. the song is also about james though, the song in its entirety symbolizes how the people betty thinks she can trust the most and who love her the most (james, inez) both betray her. hence the mingled references to both james and inez

august: the POV of Inez. she develops stronger feelings for james than she intended. however she also has feelings for betty but never told her. the song is a double reference to the summers she would spend with betty when she was young and they were exploring their sexualities with one another and her being with james. i think that maybe she only got with james at first because she wanted to ruin his relationship with betty out of jealousy but fell for james accidentally in the process

betty: the POV of james, who has no idea about the history between inez and betty. the reason why betty doesn’t “believe a word [Inez] says” is because they have fractured trust after the end of their friendship. however inez feels guilty about betraying betty and tells her about her and james. james is trying to win her forgiveness in this song by showing up at a party betty is having at her house. betty tentatively forgives james but does not get back together with him and permanently terminates her friendship with inez. james is heartbroken that betty wont get back with him.

this is me trying: james continues to try and win betty over again. he starts drinking to make himself feel better and begins to do badly in school (”i got wasted like all my potential”). however he really puts in effort to get betty back

mirrorball: inez reflects on her life. living with her abusive father made her desperate to be loved/cared for. so she “change[s] everything about [her] to fit in” just so she can get that affection. essentially she becomes who she thinks people want her to be to get the love she never got from her father. betty and james were both people who she felt like she could be herself around (”you are not like the regulars”). at the end when she talks about performing to keep them looking at her it is about how she desperately wanted to keep them both. unfortunately she lost both of them

between songs betty decides to get back with james and they get married. they genuinely love each other. inez moves to st louis.

invisible string: the honeymoon phase of james and bettys relationship after marriage. they think they are meant to be together and everything that happened was meant to happen. also addresses how james and betty met when they were young (betty would read at the park and james worked across the street from the park in a yogurt shop and they would run into one another)

peace: their relationship hits a rough patch. their “coming of age has come and gone”. the honeymoon period is over. james says he “never had strength in his convictions as long as dangers near” meaning he has a hard time staying faithful. he does love her but makes a lot of mistakes (including talking shit with his friends about her) basically this song is a warning but solidifies that he loves her regardless of what happens

illicit affairs: james cheats again. also could be inez reflecting on her affair with james from a more mature lens now that shes older. she feels a lot of regret about it

mad woman: betty finds out about james cheating a second time and is obviously pissed. james tries to spin it so she forgives him but she’s done.

exile: same time as mad woman: talks about how they both feel loss at the end of their relationship

james marries the woman he cheated on betty with but he still loves betty and the marriage is short lived

hoax: betty is completely heartbroken over everything that has happened to her. she feels really alone and still wants to cling to the love james felt for her. she looks for signs and reasons to go back to him but finds none.

james joins the military after his second divorce with the woman he cheated with. betty moves to st louis (yes the city inez lives in)

the 1: betty heals from her past and becomes confident in herself again. the line “i thought i saw you at the bus stop i didn’t though is her seeing inez but thinking its impossible. she reflects on her past feelings for both james and inez. eventually her and inez run into each other and rekindle their friendship. they discuss their past together (” it wouldve been fun if you wouldve been the one”) they are happy being friends. they are each others “chosen family”

epiphany: james dies in battle while in the army, but thinks of betty for the rest of his life and regrets what happened

my tears ricochet: betty finds out about james’ death in combat and is completely heartbroken even though she thought she was over him (”if im dead to you why are you at the wake cursing my name wishing id stayed” = betty mourning him despite saying she didnt care anymore and wishing theyd stayed together). betty feels haunted by james now and regrets a lot that happened

the last great american dynasty: after this event betty needs a change. she begins to go by her full name (rebekah) and moves to rhode island. she meets the heir to standard oil and marries him. the marriage is loveless but they have fun together. he dies leaving her with a lot of money and holiday house. she is done living for other people and starts to do literally whatever tf she wants. one of the “bitch pack friends from the city” she brings in is inez. they were never romantic after their youth but their friendship is just as amazing and fulfilling.

feel free to leave comments saying what you agree/disagree with or to add stuff. i might just be crazy and reading into this wayyyyy to much tbh. regardless the album is incredible and im so grateful for it :)

#taylor swift #taylornation #folklore #@taylorswift #@taylornation

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mytherapistsays-blog · 5 years

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The Princess Switch is a Tale as Old as Time

The Princess Switch is a Tale as Old as Time ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ @MyTherapistSays ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ https://mytherapistsays.ca/the-princess-switch-is-a-tale-as-old-as-time/

Or… as old as the merging-of-two-frames editing technique. Vanessa Hudgens is the latest star to sink down to join in on the low budget Christmas movie train, playing two mysteriously identical strangers who swap places and assume each other’s identities. Sound familiar? The answer should be yes, because since time immemorial we’ve witnessed many a Disney starlet in more or less the same film. The question is, who did it better? Someone call Us Weekly, because we are blowing this sh*t wide open.

IT TAKES TWO

(MARY KATE & ASHLEY OLSEN, 1995)

Okay, to be fair (barring any outlandish conspiracy theories), these two actually are separate human beings, but the identity swap principle still applies. In this 90’s classic, orphan-girl/ inner-city-kid Amanda attempts to trespass explores the woods beyond the grounds of her summer camp and bumps (quite literally) into prim and proper Alyssa, who lives with her rich ass wealthy father, Roger. Amanda is about to be adopted by the Butkises, the family who collects kids for child labour- actually you know what, it was for child labour- and Alyssa is about to have the gold-digging stepmother from hell, Clarice. They decide to swap places so Alyssa can know what it’s like to be a real kid and Amanda can know what it’s like to have real human affection, and they work together to set up Alyssa’s social worker with Amanda’s father. Chaos, food fights, and less-than-romantic horseback rides ensue.

Pros: Olsen twins before their acting skills absolutely nosedived. Kirstie Alley. Whoever the rich dad’s driver was.

Cons: The Butkises. The horror that was THIS scene.

Most memorable line:

Amanda: It’s got to be that can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of stuff, right?

THE PARENT TRAP

(LINDSAY LOHAN, 1998)

Another unmistakable 90’s classic, which also coincidentally involves the same-but-not-the-same girls to meet over summer camp. Hallie is a cool, laid back Cali gal while Annie is a posh English girl. Despite a rocky start meeting at summer camp (what are the chances!) the girls realize they have the same birthday… and the same parents- wait, they’re sisters?! They decide to switch places so that they can like, actually MEET the other parent who has abandoned them for years, and set up their rich vineyard owning father with their classy but slightly disheveled mother, and also get rid of their treacherous stepmother to be, Meredith Blake. They succeed, and though this movie has the best cast and best soundtrack possible, it is seriously unsettling how f*cked up it is for their parents to keep them apart and live without one of their own daughters. What kind of co-parenting tactic is that?!

Pros: Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid. The epic handshake sequence. Vineyards. London. The crackling-candy-wrapper-to-sound-like-static phone hack. Also Janice from Friends.

Ohhh. Myyyy. GAAAHD.

Cons: The cringey prank wars between Hallie and Annie that are honestly very telling of how frightening and ruthless 12 year old girls can be. The hot-pin-and-apple-as-a-homemade-ear-piercing-kit. Meredith and the lizard. This movie is not for the weak of stomach.

Most memorable line:

Hallie (or Annie, who tf knows): So if your Mom is my Mom and my Dad is your Dad… and we’re both born on October 11th, then you and I are… like… sisters.

THE LIZZIE MCGUIRE MOVIE

(HILARY DUFF, 2003)

In the best movie-from-a-TV-show production of all time, Lizzie and her, like what, eighth grade graduation class take a graduation trip to Italy (??? wtf? Is this PCA? How is everyone affording this?). Lizzie bumps into Paolo, a cute, charming Italian boy whose age I am really troubled by and don’t want to think about too much tbh, because I am already scarred from watching one too many episodes of Age Gap Couples. While Gordo is trapped in the Upside Down friend zone, Lizzie begins gallivanting around Rome with Paolo, who out of the blue drops a bomb on her that she is the exact Doppelganger for his former singing partner and could she like, assume her identity? Leave it to Lizzie McGuire to say yes, Kate willingly helping her out by covering for her (yes, hell really has freezed over) and shit to hit the fan. It all ends with Paolo being exposed for the weenie that he is (which we really should have anticipated from this lewk below):

We have Lizzie performing at the Colo freakin seum, while Gordo is clawing his way out of the friend zone (but I’m sure if Lizzie McGuire continued into their high school years she would have fallen for a Jesse McCartney or equivalent hottie of the day and dumped Gordo’s ass).

Pros: Italy. Pasta. Ethan Craft!

Cons: Paolo. No Miranda?!

Most Memorable Lines (because you can’t pick just one):

Kate: Lizzie McGuire, you are an outfit repeater!

Miss Ungermeyer: David Gordan. I think that’s Italian for ‘sneaky little brown noser with a hidden agenda’.

Miss Ungermeyer: Mr. Craft, you are in the most beautiful city in the world, is this having any effect on you?

Ethan: Yeah the cobble stones are like totally thrashing on my wheels.

Isabella: Sing to me, Paolo!

MONTE CARLO

(SELENA GOMEZ, 2011)

After years of saving from her shitty waitress job, Grace, a down-on-her-luck Texan girl fresh out of high school, finally gets to go to Paris with David Cassidy’s daughter her coworker Emma. Instead of the vacation of her dreams, she gets a shitty tour bus version of the city with Blair Waldorf as her salty stepsister, Meg, tagging along. It doesn’t take long for the girls to have a falling out and find themselves in a swanky hotel lobby to take shelter from the rainstorm that is kind of a metaphor for their disaster of a trip. Their luck changes when Grace is mistaken for a wealthy British heiress, and with some encouragement from Emma takes her place and fills in for her duties, which leads the three girls to Monaco. Grace falls for Theo, a local rich boy with other character qualities that don’t seem notable to me at the moment; Meg falls for an adventurous Aussie, and Emma just really wants to get home to her long term boyfriend Owen and install some dimmer lights. Of course the fiasco unfolds when Cordelia returns unexpectedly, and some drama goes down with an expensive piece of jewelry going missing (a telltale sign of an unoriginal plot). But not to worry because just like every chick flick out there, everyone gets a happy ending.

Pros: The excellent casting of romantic interests (Read: Corey Monteith, Luke Bracey, Pierre Boulanger). Who Says. Monte Carlo- it actually looks really effing bomb. Why is Monaco so underrated?! I might just be too poor to even have it on my radar as a travel destination.

Seriously. God bless this casting director.

Cons: Selena Gomez’s acting. Selena Gomez’s fake British accent. The fact that I will never be mistaken for an heiress and have a whirlwind romance with a foreign wealthy man.

Most memorable lines:

Grace: I finally meet a guy who likes me for me. And I’m not even me.

THE PRINCESS SWITCH

(VANESSA HUDGENS, 2018)

So here we are in present day. Let me just start by saying, there isn’t even a princess in this movie. Lady Margaret is a duchess. It’s called royal decorum honey, look it up. Stacy, a baker from Chicago, is somehow invited to this very prestigious international baking competition in Genovia Aldovia Belgravia (is anyone else noticing that these fake European countries all kind of sound like font families?), and ditches her bakery during what I assume would be her busiest time of the year to hop across the world with her business partner/ best friend and his daughter. There she runs into Lady Margaret, who mysteriously looks exactly like her and proposes they swap places so she can get away from the world of schedules. Stacy agrees, and falls for Margaret’s fiance of an arranged marriage/ loveless engagement, Prince Edward of Belgravia. Meanwhile Margaret falls for Stacy’s DILF friend Kevin. They manage to swap back before Stacy’s competition (which she wins despite her competitor cutting the cord to her Kitchen Aid, which she only notices after the majority of the cake has been baked, which like, b*tch, how were you mixing the batter before?), only for the Prince and Margaret to have to present the awards to the winners (because like, I’m sure that’s how William and Kate fill their schedule). Though Margaret had revealed their secret to Edward before the event, the four go backstage to give Kevin the downlow. Stacy is alarmingly okay with Edward (sort of) proposing to her, and Kevin is alarmingly okay with this despite having JUST caught feelings for who he thought was his best friend? Flash forward to a year later, and Edward and Stacy have married, and it is implied Kevin and Margaret are next? What the hell happened to their award winning bakery?

Pros: Gunner from Nashville. Kevin’s abs.

Cons: The haircut. The Jackie O blazer and pencil skirt ensembles. Another ill fated horse riding trip. The mysterious old guy who kept showing up but whose presence/ significance was never really explained?

Seriously, why is everyone dressed straight outta 1952?

Most memorable line:

Stacy/Margaret: In fact I took a nap on it. Slept like a log.

Edward: A log?

Stacy/ Margaret: Yes, dear, a royal log. It’s an expression we have in Montenaro.

Over the passage of time, the same-actress-two-characters/ swapping identities plotline has served us some of our most heartwarming and cheesy memories of film. I honestly don’t know if there really is a way to rank which is best, because they are all terrible in their own right. What matters most is that this tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme seems to keep going strong 20 years later, so we can expect another version of this more-or-less same story to make us gag/dazzle us in the coming years.

#funny #Hollywood #Movie #Princess Switch #Twins

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irarelypostanything · 7 years

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The Harvard Homewrecker (Full Text)

Sometimes, two people stay together simply because they don’t remember what it feels like to be alone.

Sometimes, two people stay together for a more meaningful reason.

Other times, one of them meets Tony.

Part I

The day he attended his first meeting, Tedmund decided to run for office. I can’t remember what club this was, so I’m just going to say it was Key Club.

He was already a second year in high school. He worried that his youth was slipping away, and it was time he involved himself in school activities. The president greeted him at the door and said they were electing new officers.

“The president is probably going to be me again,” said the president, and he wasn’t lying. He was a pretty competent president. “The other positions are pretty competitive, but no one is running for secretary.”

“Oh,” said Tedmund. All of the names in this story are from a random generator, in case anyone was wondering.

“You should run.”

“This...this is literally my first day.”

“Okay.” The president shrugged. “I mean, if you don’t have the balls for it...”

10 minutes later

“My name is Tedmund,” he announced from the podium, “and I am proud to be running for secretary.” Only a few people recognized him from class, but everyone applauded on account of his carefree speaking.

“I have been observing this club,” he said, pausing to look at the president’s logo, “which is Key Club, and it can definitely be improved.” He saw a few people frown, but now everyone was listening intently. “I will bring,” he glanced at the president, who mouthed the words community service, “I will bring more community service projects. And I’m going to take notes really well. And it’s going to be great.” Everyone cheered.

He won, of course. No one was running against him.

The VP was named Candy, and the two really hit it off. They didn’t mind staying late after school to make posters together, or to email coordinators together. For Tedmund, Candy was a great friend with whom he could get through the tedium of officer duties. For Candy, Tedmund was something more.

Their AP Psych teacher noticed the chemistry and paired them up during the Relationships unit, as well as the Human Development unit. Their chemistry teacher noticed it as well, but didn’t give AF.

Several months went by like this, but this was Tedmund. He knew so many girls who were in love with him that he dismissed flirting as normal behavior.

She called him eventually, late in the night, when the only light came from his TV screen and the only sounds were the gunshots from Halo.

“Tedmund,” she said, “I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?” He couldn’t hit pause; it was multiplayer.

“Yes, I...I forgot.”

“Okay.”

She didn’t say much to him again for an agonizing month, when she could no longer resist the urge to call him again.

“Hi Tedmund,” she said, “how are you?”

“Good,” he said. “I just had dinner.”

“How was it?”

He spent the next ten minutes describing to her, in detail, what he had eaten and how delicious it was.

“Tedmund,” she said, “I love you.”

“So do I,” said Tedmund. The news was even better than his dinner.

They became a couple. They spent as much time as they could together. Everyone who knew them thought of them together, and the blissful weeks passed effortlessly as they filled their time in love and with the ridiculous number of AP classes Washington High people took.

And then, out of nowhere, she saw Tony at a track meet. He didn’t notice her, but she noticed him. He finished first, and she noticed that he didn’t sweat. He glistened.

He wasn’t just hot. He seemed to radiate hotness.

******

Part II

One of the events in this story never actually happened, but I’m not going to say which.

There were many dorms at UC Davis, but it was universally known that Miller was the best. This is undisputed. Miller had the fastest wi-fi connection, a kitchen on every floor, and a $10,000 grand piano that made the one at Thompson look like a garage sale giveaway. ATM was the best part of Segundo, but Segundo was known for having Miller. Tercero couldn’t compete, even with upgrades, and Cuarto looked like a glorified three-and-a-half star motel next to Miller.

Of course, these two were at Miller after 2012, so I don’t know much about the other people who were there.

His name was Rick, your typical run-of-the-mill attractive intelligent charismatic Regents Scholar video game champion in his first year of college. Jessica was all of these things, minus the video games.

Like most of the people in Miller, Rick and Jessica lived together and took a class together. The class had 23 people, and only one guy. Guess who the guy was?

If you don’t know how UHP worked, here’s a 25-second tutorial: Everyone signed up for small classes; some were easy, and some were not-so-easy. The ones who took the easy classes were happy (I guess), and the ones who took the not-so-easy classes complained about it on the ISHP Facebook page. By the laws of karma, the people who took the easy ones their first quarter just so happened to choose the not-so-easy ones in their second quarter.

The two clicked really well, especially since both of them joined a college club together. I’m just going to call it CKI because I’ve dropped so many meaningless abbreviations that I kind of stopped caring.

Is there really any more to it than that? If there is, I don’t know the details. They were up until sunrise together, just the two of them...talking. One night, she asked if they could play Hot Seat.

He calmly said yes, but fireworks were going off in his head.

She was up first. “If we knew each other a year ago,” he said, trying to be as subtle and indirect as possible, “do you think we would have dated?”

She nodded.

Shortly after, they started dating.

And that wraps it up. They were a perfect couple.

That’s it. End of story.

Oh wait…

Jessica found herself alone in San Francisco one weekend, because that’s what people in Davis do when they’re bored. They spend an hour driving to a city that everyone hates driving in. But her car was still in the shop this time, and Jessica took the shuttle.

Jessica sprinted for the bus, and the driver saw her, but it was Muni. Obviously, he didn’t stop.

“No...” she said. It was Muni, so the next bus wasn’t going to come for an hour. By the time she made it to Berkeley her shuttle would be gone, and she’d have to spend the night there.

“What’s wrong?” asked Tony. He had just flown in from the East Coast, and he had just finished visiting his peasant friends from high school. How he became rich is explained in parts III and IV.

“I missed my bus,” she said.

“Would you like a ride?” he asked. She looked at him closely. He was in a designer jacket, wore designer pants, and next to him was a red 488 GTB Ferrari.

“In that?” she asked, making eye contact with his beautiful car.

“No, I was just taking that to my lift.” He pointed to a building nearby, a gorgeous piece of massive glass with a helicopter to top it off.

“Do you own that helicopter?” she asked.

“Of course,” he said, and smiled. “Why else would I have paid to put a helipad on my building?”

*****

In a relationship, whoever is more in love will always be at a disadvantage.

Unless you’re not competing, or you don’t try to measure it, or...I don’t know...you’re in a relationship with pizza.

I just wrote that first sentence to get your attention.

Part III

This story begins with a guy making someone a sandwich.

Jake was an athletic, heavily involved high school student whom everyone was cool with, except Mr. B. He also put a lot of effort into his sandwiches. This sandwich was an hour-long project: The bread was lightly toasted, there was just the right amount of peanut butter and jelly, and the way he presented it was like something you would see on the Food Network.

I had to learn piano to get a high school girlfriend. Stanley had to master multivariable Calculus. David had to win a track medal, star in a summer performance, become the #7 Tetris player in North America and maintain a non-weighted 4.0. For Jake, the deal-maker was a sandwich.

Jake and Crystal joined dragon boat around the same time. For anyone wondering, dragon boat is a form of competitive water racing that dates back to ancient times, when warring Chinese factions jostled for control of the seven kingdoms. After many generations, a general known as the Mother of Dragons made a surprise attack from the sea and finally ended the war.

The sandwich came shortly after.

We all took a trip to Long Beach—a beautiful, ridiculously over-the-top party town where people drank, danced, and paddled like there was no tomorrow. We were in high school, so the only thing we participated in was the paddling.

After our first round of races, I ate dinner with the team, crawled into my hotel room, and knocked TF out. When I woke up, Jake and Crystal were out.

“I’m not good enough for you,” Jake had said the previous night, as they sat at the nearby beach and pretended to look at the water. They had been dating for over half a page now.

“Why do you say that?” she asked, in a voice that was always calm and mellow because that’s what Crystal’s voice is like.

“You’re smart, and you’re beautiful, and if you weren’t with me then you could find someone else.”

They talked until the light came back. In the afternoon, when one of us finally asked, they were still together. Maybe it was conversations like those that made their relationship stronger.

We all stayed in the team and paddled a lot.

JUST KIDDING. Most people didn’t stay in the team. Those of us who did, paddled a lot.

We talked between laps.

“I can’t get pho with you guys,” said Tony one day.

“Traitor,” I said.

“Well, I’m applying for the Gates Millennium Scholarship. I don’t think I have a chance...the probability of winning that is lower than the probability of getting into Harvard.”

“You know what would be awesome? If you got into Harvard AND got the Gates Millennium Scholarship.”

With that, Tony burst out laughing.

20,000 strokes later:

“I think I’m going to go to Davis now,” I said.

“Just like that?” asked Stanley. “You’ve changed your mind this easily?”

“The froyo was really good.”

A few months and many, many strokes later:

“I think I’m going to stay in the city,” said Jake.

“I’m not,” said Crystal.

…..

….

It’s been years.

A few weeks ago, living alone at my apartment in an unheard-of town, I got really bored and wrote this. Not bored like...not enough time. It’s a different kind of boredom.

As I wrote, Jake was at his own apartment. He never left the city. On his desk, he looked at a picture of Crystal, had a brief flashback, and then tucked it away in a drawer. On full display was a picture of his current girlfriend.

Crystal wistfully looked out her window. Her current boyfriend was sleeping next to her, and southern California was shining out in the distance.

Unable to sleep, she tiptoed out of bed, made her way to the kitchen, and spent an hour preparing herself a fancy PBJ sandwich. The sandwich made her happy again, and she gingerly went back to bed.

She quickly fell asleep.

*****

For our high school graduation, the valedictorian reminded us that everyone would eventually be dead. He talked a lot about human hatred, and disease, and nuclear war. The rest of the speech was optimistic, but all anyone remembered were those first few sentences.

Then our high school salutatorian spoke. “I’m going to talk about love,” he said, “and cures for diseases, and...the opposite of everything else Jon spoke about. By the way, my name is Jon. Both of us are named Jon.” The second Jon’s speech was met with rounds of applause that continually increased in both volume and duration.

After his salutatorian speech, Jon (again, the second one) was required to present the CSF trophy to the member with the highest GPA. Tony won it. I can’t remember the explanation.

There were graduations everywhere that day. I don’t even remember all the things that happened. Aaron presented a senior video, and Katherine won one of the highest honors, and then Emma and Alonzo and Colin won numerous scholarships. And somewhere, just a few miles out of San Francisco, Zach almost met his future wife.

Part IV

“Do you feel like time is moving really quickly?” I asked Tony one day, a little after our college graduation.

“What do you mean?” asked Tony. “Time has always been moving at a constant speed.”

“That’s not what I mean.” “Oh, that’s right. According to Einstein-”

“What I mean is that life events are happening really quickly. My coworker just bought a house. Someone brought up marriage the other day when talking about her boyfriend.”

“Well, we are at that age.”

“Are we, though?”

Rena, David and I went right into the workforce. Most of the people I knew from Davis either stayed for grad school, or applied to various medical school programs. In my first month of work, they asked me to help hire the next round of people. That they asked me to play any part in this was beyond crazy.

“So after my senior design project helped cure Type 2 Diabetes,” said Zach, “I decided to direct my talents into another side-project. It was like Google, for porn.”

“That second thing is the most brilliant idea I’ve ever heard,” I said. “I have never visited a porn site, but I can only imagine the potential. Now, on an unrelated note...how do you feel about loyalty?”

“I don’t believe in it, period. You do your job, and if you don’t do a good one then you step aside. The lack of loyalty cuts both ways - if a job doesn’t satisfy you, you quit.”

“That’s the realest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say,” I said. “The other responses people gave me were so full of shit. I’m going to recommend that they hire you immediately.”

A few months passed. If it sounds like I’m rushing, it’s because that’s what it really felt like. Tony joined a start-up, and the boss was such a dick that Tony started his own company and bought out his boss’. All of this was just to fire him. That’s how much of a dick he was.

Zach’s talents were quickly recognized by everyone except his manager. He also bought a house. He was also accepted into grad school. Then, out of nowhere, his girlfriend called him.

“Remember that time we had unprotected sex?” she asked.

“Which time?”

“I don’t know, but I’m pregnant.”

“Shit.”

And just like that, a year passed.

I still had the same coffee mug, and I still drank the same flavor of beer at the same bar, and I still lived exactly where I was before. Also, I still didn’t get pointers at all. Seg faults were my life.

“How was your wedding?” I asked Zach once, out of the blue. Last I checked, he had proposed.

“What wedding?” he asked.

“Um...how’s the baby?” I asked, as if that were a logical transition from my last question.

“I told you,” he said. “She lost it.”

“Is that why you didn’t marry her?” I asked.

“I mean, that’s not the reason we’re not together anymore. A lot of things have happened.”

“You don’t say.”

Zach quit later, but not...immediately after. I don’t know how to make time go slower. I don’t even know at this point how much time had passed.

He wrote me a letter. All it said was You can stay there if you want, Evan, but I don’t recommend it. You’re in the kind of city that people leave.

I don’t know what happens to everyone in the story after that, because now we’re all caught up with the present.

#short story #fiction #prose

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isoscele · 7 years

Text

from dream to whispered dream

Summary: Rose wants to destroy the patriarchy. Bismuth wants her passions to be recognized. Pearl wants to have a School Improvement Committee. Ruby and Sapphire want to play softball and watch each other play softball. Blue Pearl wants a nap. And Jasper just wants people to stop sending her pictures of dogs.

or, the first gem rebellion as told by the dumbass teenagers who started this whole mess.

Blue to Pearl

Blue: were you listening during calculus

Pearl: Yes.

Blue: did you happen to write anything down

Pearl: Why? So you could copy off of me?

Blue: ideally

Pearl: Fine. They’re in my bag.

Blue: ur the best!!!!!

Blue to Pearl

Blue: what tf is this

Blue: pearl

Blue: pearl what is this

Pearl: I write in shorthand now.

Pearl: Much quicker! : )

Blue: . . .

Blue: ur cruel

Bismuth to rocks with feelings

Bismuth: doggo!

Bismuth sent prince.jpg

Rose: give him pats from me!

Bismuth: already did!

Rose: tell him i love him

Bismuth: he loves you too!

Jasper: no godam way

Jasper has left rocks with feelings

Sapphire: she’s just jealous

Bismuth: i gave him pats from you 2 sapphire dont worry

Sapphire: . . .

Sapphire: good

Ruby to Joan of Arc deserved better

Ruby: Go Pearl!

Blue: go pearl!!!!

Ruby: Kick Their Butts!

Blue: all those butts!!!

Ruby: Debate The Heck Out Of Them!

Blue: just imagine you’re arguing against us

Blue: as in, don’t hold back

Blue: but don’t cry

Blue: wait do you get pity points if you cry

Ruby: There’s No Shame In Pity Points

Pearl to Joan of Arc Deserved Better

Pearl: Thank you for all your support!

Pearl: “Pity points” don’t exist in debate, I’m afraid.

Pearl: Also, I resent the idea that I can’t argue without crying.

Pearl: I have several trophies to back me up.

Blue: what activity doesn’t have pity points

Blue: my entire life has been upheld by pity points

Ruby: OK But Did You Break Into Song?

Pearl: No.

Pearl: Maybe.

Pearl: Only on the bus ride back.

Rose to rocks with feelings

Rose: i wanna overthrow the patriarchy

Bismuth: go to bed

Rose: ok

Ruby to Sqawwwwd

Ruby: Can I Play Softball With You Guys After School

Navy: of course! the more the merrier

Army: ARE YOU GOING TO SKIP OUT ON US AGAIN

Ruby: No

Doc: we need to have a Conference.

Ruby: OK.

Army: I DON’T TRUST HER.

Doc: she has been found consulting with the enemy

Navy: she deserves a second chance!

Ruby: Guys?

Ruby: You Didn’t Kick Me Out Of The Chat

Doc: the enemy, navy. the enemy

Ruby: I’m Still Here

Army: WE DO NEED A THIRD BASEMAN

Ruby: I’ll Just Go

Ruby has left Sqawwwwd

Leggy: wait whats happening?

Blue to Pearl

Blue: where were you during lunch?

Pearl: Talking to administration.

Blue: about?

Pearl: The water quality in the fountains.

Blue: ur really invested in this

Pearl: You could say that.

Pearl: Hydration is an important factor in energy and brainpower.

Pearl: What if someone gets sick?

Blue: no1 drinks from those things

Pearl: Yes, because it’s dirty.

Blue: howd it go?

Pearl: . . .

Pearl: Not great.

Blue: that sucks

Blue: want a hug?

Pearl: Yes, please.

Jasper to this was supposed to be a study chat

Jasper: no more dogs

Sapphire: leave the chat if you care so much

Bismuth: this is a democracy.

Rose: how about a fish?

Rose sent bubbles.jpg

Rose: look at its squish face!

Sapphire: The squishest

Jasper: you are all fucking useless

Bismuth: seriously feel free to leave at any time

Sapphire: yeah jasper

Bismuth: yeah jasper

Sapphire to Ruby

Sapphire: call me if you have the time

Pearl to pearl cant argue w/out singing

Pearl: I stopped by the Y earlier today.

Pearl: They have swordfighting lessons!

Blue: cool

Pearl: If I start working more weekdays, I can even afford a few of them. Oh, can you imagine it?

Ruby: I Can Imagine You Going All Inigo Montoya On Jasper’s Butt.

Pearl: Oh, yes. So can I.

Blue: do they have a sword rack

Blue: and a hairy guy saying “choose wisely. it is to become an extension of yourself”

Blue: or some crap like that

Pearl: I think it’s “bring your own weapon.”

Ruby: Do You Have A Weapon

Pearl: Well. No.

Blue: you r ur own weapon

Blue: follow ur dreams

Pearl: . . . Thank you, Blue.

Blue: no prob

Ruby: I Can Maybe Hook You Up

Blue: omg what

Blue: ruby has Sword Connections ™

Blue: they grow up so fast

Pearl: Really?

Ruby: Not A Done Deal.

Ruby: I’ll Check It Out.

Pearl: Thank you so much!

Blue: i need someone else to acknowledge that swordfighting has been dead for centuries

Blue has been blocked from pearl cant argue w/out singing

Blue to Pearl

Blue: rude

Blue: let me back in

Pearl: No.

Blue: at least send me a video of you stabbing someone

Pearl: Okay.

Blue: i’m proud of you

Blue: your picture shows up when you google carpe diem

Blue: legit

Pearl: Thank you. Sorry I’ve been snappish lately.

Pearl: I’m kind of stressed.

Blue: it’s cool

Blue: oh look i found the pic

Blue sent partypurl.jpg

Pearl: I was going to unblock you, but good luck with that now.

Pearl: I thought I told you to delete that!?!?

Ruby to Sapphire

Ruby: Yeah Just A Sec

Incoming Call: Ruby

*Hey, Sapphy. Everything okay?*

*Yes.*

*Good. What do you want to talk about?*

*Nothing in particular. I just wanted to hear your voice.*

*Aww. That’s so sweet!*

*. . . How sweet?*

*Sweeter than the first day of summer vacation.*

*Wow.*

*Sweeter than our official first date meal.*

*Cotton candy?*

*Yeah! That. Cotton candy ain’t got nuthin’ on you.*

*I can’t believe you remember that.*

*Heh, well. My memory may not be great, but I make exceptions for important stuff.*

*You’re making me melt.*

*Like what?*

*Like mint chocolate chip ice cream all down your arms two Sundays ago.*

*Ha! That was pretty messy, wasn’t it?*

*It was adorable.*

*. . . Sapphy?*

*Yes?*

*I love you.*

*I love you, too.*

*I’m playing softball after school today. The team’s finally letting me back on.*

*Really? That’s great!*

*Yeah! I wish you could come, but the girls might not like it.*

*You’ll have to sustain me with pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.*

*Okay. I will.*

*Will you have the uniform and snapback again?*

*Probably!*

*Lots and lots of pictures.*

*I have to go to English. Text me later?*

*I can’t wait.*

*Bye!*

*Bye, Ruby.*

Blue to Swordfighting is a Respectable Art

Blue: thx for letting me in again

Blue: u know, the person who dragged u kicking and screaming into the technological era

Pearl: You’re welcome.

Blue: i was being sarcastic

Pearl: I know.

Blue: how goes the fight for water u can see through?

Pearl: Not well, but I refuse to give up.

Pearl: Do you think I should start a petition?

Blue: i’d sign

Ruby: Me Too

Pearl: Historically, petitions at this school haven’t worked very well.

Ruby: Get Teachers To Sign.

Pearl: Say, that’s not a bad idea! Not very many of our teachers seem to like me that much, but they surely feel the absence of clean water as much as we do.

Pearl: We should have a School Improvement Committee.

Blue: it would be a full-time job

Pearl: Filled with volunteers, obviously. Dedicated students, parents, and staff.

Pearl: Oh well, it’s just an idea.

Blue: u can try

Ruby: My Parent Would Join

Pearl: Ooh, yes! Could you perhaps speak to them about it?

Ruby: Sure

Blue: hey don’t u have softball

Ruby: Yeah. Sitting In The Bleachers

Ruby: The Girls Are Still Arguing About Whether Or Not I Can Play

Pearl: They told you that you could. They can’t go back on their word.

Ruby: I Don’t Know If They Remember.

Blue: that team is nothing w/out you

Blue: they should’ve begged u to come back

Pearl: That’s right! Get out on that pitch and show them what they were missing!

Ruby: OK

Ruby: Yeah

Ruby: Just Ran Around The Bases

Ruby: To Show How Fast I Am

Ruby: They Looked Impressed

Blue: knock em dead

Pearl: Good luck!

Rose to why is jasper still here

Rose: ughhhhhhh

Bismuth: you okay?

Rose: the entire student gov rejected my proposal to partner with ps-847 for the dance

Bismuth: that sucks

Bismuth: you knew it wouldn’t be a popular idea, right?

Rose: yeah

Rose: i thought at least one person would be neutral or smthing.

Rose: all violently opposed

Bismuth: the road to change is filled with potholes

Rose: who said that?

Bismuth: me

Sapphire: she’s right. it’s good that you’re doing something.

Rose: i occasionally want to bash pd’s face in

Bismuth: the road to change is also filled with bashing faces in

Jasper: finally a line of chat i agree with

Sapphire: @jasper have you just been . . . lurking there

Sapphire: also no bashing faces in

Jasper: jesus

Jasper has left why is jasper still here

Ruby to Sapphire

Ruby: I Forgot To Ask Earlier

Ruby: One Of Your Friends Is Into Forgery Right?

Sapphire: blacksmithing, yes.

Sapphire: forgery is like with art and money

Ruby: I Knew Something Was Off

Sapphire: her name is Bismuth

Sapphire: why?

Ruby: Can She Make Swords

Sapphire: she loves making swords

Sapphire: she owns so many of them

Ruby: OK Well I Have A Friend Who Needs A Sword

Ruby: For A Class She’s Taking

Sapphire: i’d have to talk to her about it, but it seems doable

Ruby: She Can’t Really Pay

Ruby: I Mean She’ll Probably Try To But

Ruby: She Goes To My School. That Probably Says Enough.

Sapphire: Bismuth’s worked in favors before

Sapphire: she’d do it again i think

Ruby: Pearl’s A Really Cool Person.

Ruby: She Knows So Much About Swords

Sapphire: theyll get along well then

Sapphire: i’ll talk to Bismuth and pass along her #

Ruby: Thank You So Much

Ruby: Oh Almost Forgot

Ruby sent pic_0412

Ruby sent pic_0413

Ruby sent pic_0414

Sapphire: ur so cute :)

#steven universe #my writing #lol take it

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kgysj-blog · 7 years

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day 3 - 4/27/17

dear depression, hiya again!! ill just get right into it for the day since im a little late doin my daily post haha okay so i had a cute outfit sat out for school today & i got up at 7:05 & the tardy bell rings at 7:30 so i just threw on the cute outfit & straightened my hair really really fast & i had no time to do my make up so i went to school without that shiz. during first period (english) we watched wuthering heights again & it was super good. idk i just have some weird thing for doomed love stories it's weird idek.. lol. then i went to second period (math) and we got our tests back & i made a frickin 99 bc i forgot to change the sign on one of the problems & it made me hellllllaaaaa mad ugh but its gucci. we went over some more problems but ford made them harder and challenging for the people that don't pay attention i guess bc they weren't hard for me or connor lmao. i was in a great ass mood and i got to break and i was walkin in and chezly was walkin out and this nigga picked me up and took my to a chair & sat me down then patted my head and I ab died hahahahah i love that dude. then i ate two pieces of pizza at break bc it's good as shit. then i went to third period (anatomy) and did this learnsmart thing & i was actually really surprised bc i knew a few of the answers without having to go back and read on it so that was good. i finished w half an hour to just chill so i played the beer pong game on my phone (which im good as frick at might i add). then i went to fourth (economics) and we had an open book test which im pretty sure i most likely failed l o l but it's fine im fine. after that ky was crackin me up the entire time idek why i was laughing like a dumbass the whole time hahahaha but brett kept telling me shit wasn't really funny & all that & he's usually not like that and it really annoyed me tbh. like i can laugh at whatever tf i want, take ya bitter ass and go on somewhere bih. everyone was just in a really good mood i loved it (other than Brett, lol) then i went and sat in bakers w the rest of my buddies and it was like every single thing was funny and i felt happy it was weird idek i was just happy and relaxed & laid back. Andy looked over to me & he was "seriously everyone is in a good mood today" and it made me happy bc i love it when my friends are happy. so anyway, i went to career tech & i made up this test from like 2 weeks ago & i made a 100 on that bit and it put me in a good ass mood. then we had this practice sheet & i was answering correctly left and right & it was just good. then i was walking to the bus & i looked at Ry & i was like "im just really happy right now like im in such a good mood and i have been all day" and she said it makes her happy to see other people happy & that made me happy/sad bc i don't think she is.. i don't like when other people have problems bc i have a ton & it really does suck. well when i got to the bus i had a text from my bud that im not supposed to be talking to. it was just a game request thing but... why are we still talking? i am supposed to be on like my fourth or fifth day without him.. i think he's scared of what ill do if we cut off contact completely idk. he's the one that came up with the idea but now he's the one texting me. i mean im not complaining bc i dont know how id feel or be doing if he wasn't talking to me but ya know im just really confused. we played a few games & he stopped replying which i understand but, like i said, im just v confused. i slept when i got home from like 5-8. it was nice bc no practice. but i actually have some feelings to talk ab now lmao here we go. i think i have an over thinking issue. i mean i know a lot of girls do but for some reason i feel like mine is super bad. i psycho analyze EVERYTHING. its honestly ridiculous. also, i heard this song on the country radio & it reminded me of summer & Peyt and it made me sad so i turned it off bc no sadness :) i just wish i didnt have problems and we could work one day :/ last week its like i had come to the conclusion that he was ready to be done which meant i had to be obviously & i was hella fucking depressed and cried every single day but it wasn't all bc of him. i just have those kinds of problems & for some reason i couldn't control myself last week it was strange. last week it's like i had come to terms w being done w him & then he texts me on friday and tells me we need to talk in person and clarify some things & all that. well i thought what he said ab us needing to distance ourselves meant we were done so i was confused on what else there was to say...? but anyway i was kinda looking forward to closure and all that in person. like finally getting to hear his thoughts face to face so he could get it all out and us be done and learn to move on. well he never texted me back about it and then at like 1 am Sunday morning he tells me we don't have to talk anymore? idk THE WHOLE THING IS A MESS. we talked and said we needed to not talk until i had bettered myself bc my cutting and all that scares the shit out of him (and all my friends) and that he feels he is part of the reason. it made me sick when i read that. i don't want him ever upset or scared or anything when he thinks of me... i felt really bad. but i was like okay ya know we are gonna have to learn to not have each other soon anyway so i guess starting now would be helpful. and i was completely on board. and now we've talked every single day. and its so confusing idek. I just know i still love him and for some mf reason i can't change it and its embarrassing bc i feel like we will never be the same or even be together again. idek i just needed to get it all out :) i have sectionals tomorrow and i am really freaking nervous like REALLY NERVOUS but i need to chill out and focus so i can get top 3. i guess that's all for tonight.. goodnight :) love, g

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