#The fact that I could do this format with any of the characters I'm obsessed with is doing damage

[fafrogke]

MY FRUITY ASS DOG I'M CRYIGNG

The pleading face manipulation is working and Eli doesn't like it

STOP BEING DOG CODED MY BRAIN IS MELTING (lovingly)

#14dayswithyou #14 days with you #14dwy #14dwy ren #14dwy oc #I might have a weakness idk I'm not sure #The fact that I could do this format with any of the characters I'm obsessed with is doing damage #If Eli looks slightly different sometimes is bc I change them from amab to afab regularly it depends on the weather /hj #after this the two went shopping basic human things #Ihave been informed these are called groceries #okback to my enclosure 🍖

[prince-liest]

Yo, I'm writing a pre canon fic in which young fanboy Vox gets assigned as Alastor's assistant by Lilith, any tips for characterising him?

I think you have a lot of room for leeway and playing around since you're working with pre-canon, but the main points that I tend to at least personally keep around as a scaffold for writing Vox are:

He's got a Charisma modifier of, like, +4. This doesn't mean he's always suave - in fact, he's pretty pathetic around Alastor in particular! But he knows how to put on a performance that appeals to his intended audience, whether that be a customer base whose trust he's winning over, or a fellow Vee that he's trying to wrangle into behaving. He switches between ridiculous showmanship and collected CEO, and this works for him despite both personas being rife with overcompensation.

Every single one of the Vees including Vox thinks they're the only normal, reasonably-behaving person in the room, it's wild.

He's smart, he's capable, he's manipulative. He's good at knowing what people want and how to leverage that to sell them those things. The general population thinks he's #goals thanks to the image he puts forth.

He's a piece of shit that has no qualms with Valentino's behavior with Angel Dust, Velvette selling date rape drugs, or abusing his own hypnosis ability to manipulate people into buying his products (which include spyware literally advertised to voyeurs). This is part of the fun of this character!!

I think he has a lot of very fun physicality to him (as do most of the Hazbin Hotel characters), and I really recommend re-watching some of his scenes to get the hang of how he moves and interacts with people physically because you'd be surprised at how much that can add to characterization even in a non-visual format like writing.

...I also genuinely think he's kind of a horny bastard, to whatever extent and rating your story could even use that, but that's me extrapolating from his behavior around both Alastor and Valentino. It's just a fun cherry on top of the "low impulse control around Alastor" thing, because he's got so much going for him on the intelligence front that it's really funny to me when he tangibly switches to thinking with his dick.

And, of course, on the subject of Alastor in particular:

He's obsessive, and Alastor makes all of his impulse control go out the window. I started using the "Vox's One-sided Psychosexual Obsession with Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)" tag for a reason, and it's that I think it's in fact really funny how much evidence we get in canon that Vox doesn't just hate Alastor and want to dominate him, he'd also probably roll right over into the affectionately wheedling persona he uses with Valentino if Alastor suggested he'd take it well.

We don't just see Vox wanting Alastor dead, we also see Alastor telling us that Vox first asked him to join him; the torn-in-half photo of them standing together; and Vox pretty much popping a boner over Alastor getting wrecked by Adam, nevermind how manically he jumps around to get a word in before Alastor even shows his face during Stayed Gone. Even his little "Fu-uu-uuuuuck!" at the end of the song is like 50% actual despair and 50% :pleading: emoji. He wants Alastor, obviously, and I think a lot of the anger that he's projecting at Alastor in canon is specifically anger at being rejected, which is frantically covering up the fact that he is still desperately, embarrassingly into the radio deer. If Alastor won't join him, Vox has to beat him.

Anyway, I love this funky little TV. This was by no means a comprehensive guide or anything like that, but I hope it helped share at least some of my personal thoughts on writing him!

#ask #personal #Anonymous #hazbin hotel #vox #hazbin hotel vox #meta #my writing

[starkskeep]

When the Dragon Howls (6)

When the Dragon Howls Chapter Six

Characters - Cregan Stark x OC (Maera Velaryon), Aegon II Targaryen, Aemond Targaryen

Summary - Maera Velaryon feels consumed by the obsessive clutches of her uncles. A wolf from Winterfell could potentially be the one strong enough to confront the dragons.

Word Count - 2,956

Warnings - 18+ Minors DNI. Typical Targaryen relationships.

A/N - I'm testing out a different format for the post. Let me know if you like it or if you want the previous format. I feel like this makes the dialogue more organized.

Previous Part Next Part

The next few days were relatively uneventful. The tourney came and went without any deaths, just a few injuries. Maera was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she would not be able to describe those days if anyone were to ask her.  It was the final night of festivities for the anniversary of her grandsire’s reign. Maera knew she had to make an appearance and interact with everyone. It was her duty as a princess of the realm yet she was having trouble focusing on anything except her fight with Aemond and the comfort Cregan had provided her. Just thinking of how kind, how sweet, how understanding he was in the Godswood places a smile on her face that is hard to wipe away. 

Maera was finishing readying herself for the feast that night when her mother entered her chambers. Rhaenyra dismissed Maera’s maids, wanting to talk to her daughter in private. The young princess watched her mother’s reflection in her dressing table’s mirror as Rhaenyra approached. “You did not need to dismiss my maids. My hair is not yet done.” Maera said with a slight pout.

Rhaenyra smiled at her daughter. She took the brush that was resting on the dressing table and began to run it through her daughter's hair. Moments like this made Rhaenyra miss her mother even more. She knew that Aemma would have loved Maera as much as Viserys does. Her daughter deserved to have her grandmother, her true grandmother here. If Aemma hadn’t passed and Alicent hadn’t married Rhaenyra’s father, Rhaenyra wouldn’t have had to worry about her half-brothers chasing after Maera. She had heard about the altercation between her daughter and Aemond. Rhaenyra was furious. Daemon even more so. It took a lot of yelling, pleading, and bribery in order to keep Daemon in their chambers when the news reached them. All he wanted to do was take Aemond’s other eye and the boy’s hands. Deep down, Rhaenyra had wanted her husband to go after the boy. It was getting harder and harder to protect Maera. She had wanted to let her daughter choose her own husband, something that Rhaenyra had not been graced with for her first marriage, but Rhaenyra now feared that Aemond would do something drastic in order to make Maera his wife. It also wasn’t impossible that her father could be convinced to marry Aemond to Maera in order to settle the rift between her and Alicent. Rhaenyra wouldn’t let that be her daughter’s fate. She caught Maera’s eye in the mirror. “I wanted to speak with you. I heard about what happened in the Godswood. Why did you not come to me as soon as it happened?”

Maera looked down as she played with her fingers. A bit ashamed, she couldn’t look at her mother as she formulated a response to Rhaenyra’s question. “I did not feel the situation warranted your involvement. Aemond has not bothered me since then. I believe it was just empty threats. You have enough to worry about while we are in the Red Keep. Handling this myself meant that you could relax.”

Rhaenyra’s face softened. Her daughter truly had her mother’s heart. “My sweet girl,” Rhaenyra murmured as she kissed the top of Maera’s head. “I always want to know everything that happens to you: good or bad. I am your mother and as your mother, it is my duty to worry about you. I will take care of everything that you need. I will always help you, even when you do not wish for my help. Your entire family is here for you. In fact, Daemon had to be held back so that he wouldn’t kill Aemond. As much as I detest the boy, I do not want Daemon to become a kinslayer.”

A smile slowly spreads across Maera’s face. Knowing that her mother is not angry at her for not immediately revealing what happened in the Godswood is comforting. The fact that Daemon was so willing to come to her defense warms her heart as well. She decides to reveal more to Rhaenyra. “I believed that I didn’t need your help because someone already had.”

Her mother stops braiding Maera’s hair due to her surprise. She had not been told of anyone coming to her daughter’s aid. Rhaenyra needs to know who it was. They deserve a reward. Not many people would stand against the son of the king, even if it was for a princess. “Oh? Who was this savior?” Rhaenyra had a good idea of who would be brave enough to do so.

“Lord Cregan Stark was entering the Godswood in order to pray to the gods when he came across Aemond and I arguing. He stepped in and Aemond left. Then he offered to walk me to my chambers. I didn’t want to be alone in case Aemond came to see me. Instead, Lord Cregan kept me company. He told me many stories about the North. Many of which I had never read before in books.”

Maera may not have noticed that she was smiling as she spoke but Rhaenyra certainly did. Maybe this was the answer to the problem of Aemond. If Rhaenyra could secure a betrothal between Maera and Cregan, her daughter would be safe from Rhaenyra’s younger brother. She just had to be careful of how she addressed this. Being too blunt may startle Maera or lead her to believe that her mother was teasing her. “It sounds like you were lucky that Lord Stark showed up. Not many noblemen would interrupt an argument between two members of the royal family for fear of losing their heads. He must have become a friend of yours during his time spent in the Red Keep if he stepped in. Your brothers speak highly of his demeanor and skill when they are in the training yard together. It seems that Lord Stark is quite different from the stories that I have heard.”

“I think he is much more friendly than the rumors make him out to be. He was so attentive in the Godswood. Never has a nobleman been more concerned with my well-being than he was. I very much want my future husband to be like him.”

Rhaenyra rolls her eyes ducking her head so that Maera cannot see her do so. Her daughter seems to be quite oblivious to the fact that Cregan Stark is interested. Rhaenyra decides that she needs to plant the seed of thought in Maera’s mind. “Lord Stark is unmarried. He would be a good choice for a husband. A strong man from a noble house in the largest region of the Seven Kingdoms. Quite handsome as well. I approve of the match. Have you thought of him as a potential partner? Spend time with him at the feast. Share a couple dances. Your heart will know if you can grow to love him as a husband” She places the finishing touches on the braids in her daughter's hair and takes Maera's hand. "Come. It is time to make our way to the Great Hall. Daemon and the boys will join us there."

Maera was looking out across the hall from her seat at the high table. Everything around her was luxuriously decorated. The mood was jovial. The entirety of the Seven Kingdom’s nobility was gathered to celebrate. She had shared a few dances with her brothers and Daemon. Even her grandsire had gathered enough energy to share a dance with her. She had enjoyed it as he twirled her around and shared stories of her mother’s childhood.

At the moment, Maera was resting after Luke had trampled her feet on the last dance. She watched as he danced with Rhaena and sent a silent prayer to the gods that her feet fared much better. Maera made a mental note to discuss dancing lessons for the boy once her family returned to Dragonstone. She pulled away from watching her brother as Baela put her hand on Maera’s arm in order to draw her attention. Baela nods her head in the direction of where most of the Northmen sat. “Lord Stark has been watching you all night.”

When Maera looked in the direction that Baela had nodded to, sure enough, Cregan Stark had his eyes on her. Maera smiled and raised her glass to Cregan from across the hall. If he had caught her and Baela whispering about him, she would try to cover it up in greeting. The man cocked his head and raised his glass in response, a smirk gracing his lips. The words of her mother from earlier this evening played over and over in Maera’s head. She had thought Lord Cregan to be unattainable for whatever reason; never actually evaluating him as a potential match and instead comparing her suitors to him. Cregan stood from his seat after he finished his silent toast to Maera and made his way over to the high table. She turned to Baela with wide eyes. “Is he really coming this way?”

Baela snorted in amusement. “I don’t believe you to be blind Maera. Of course, he is coming this way. Lord Stark is the only man who has made his way up to you this evening. Not with the stares father and Aemond have been sending those who so much as look in your direction. It seems that the wolf is immune.”

Before Maera can respond, she looks up to see that Cregan has made his way up to them. She greets him. “Lord Cregan. Are you enjoying the feast?”

“Very much so, my lady. It could only be better if I had someone to dance with.”

“I’m sure that many ladies would happily dance with you if you were to ask them.”

Cregan smiles. “Yet you are the only one I want. Will you do me the honor of sharing a dance with me?”

Maera agrees with Baela. Cregan Stark is much too similar to a wolf. The way he was able to stalk his prey and corner her was lupine in nature. Regardless of his uncanny similarities to the sigil of his house, Maera agrees to share a dance with him. She makes her way around the high table and takes Cregan’s offered hand. He leads her into the center of the hall and they disappear into the throng of dancers. 

They spend their first dance in compatible silence. By the second dance, Cregan speaks up. “My lady, you are radiant tonight. I find it hard not to fall to my knees at the mere sight of you.”

Maera’s heart flutters at the compliment. The way Cregan compliments her as he stares into her eyes, rather than let himself rake them up and down her body as other lords are prone to do make Maera feel the sincerity of his words.  It gives her the confidence to truly pursue him. She has seen how other noblewomen tease the men that chase after them, so she decides to try to emulate their actions. “That would be quite improper. Though I would have no objections, I believe that the rest of my grandsire’s guests may be quite appalled. You would give credence to their rumors of northern savagery.”

Cregan lets out a loud burst of laughter, drawing the attention of the surrounding couples. He brushes away their looks of disturbance. The young lord smiles down at Maera and teasingly squeezes her hip. “It seems that you do know how to have fun. I was worried that you were wrapped up in courtly etiquette. Your brothers had shared stories about you not always being the most proper noblewoman with me but I had yet to see for myself, my lady. I like it.”

“You asked my brothers about me? I shudder to think of the stories they shared.”

“You had captured my attention. I wanted to know more about you.”

“You could have just asked me.”

“Ah, but when has there been a good moment for me to get you alone. I wouldn’t want our conversation to have been interrupted. I have noticed during my short time here that both of your uncles have the uncanny ability to separate you from any man that you are around.”

This time Maera is the one smirking. “You believe that you are any different?”

“My lady, I know that I am different. I will not be deterred from taking what I want.”

“Maera. If I am what you want then you should at least be calling me by my name.”

“Very well, Maera. If I am allowed to call you by your name then you should call me by mine.” Cregan pulled Maera closer to him.

“Cregan!” Shrieked Maera in surprise.

“That's it. Much better than being called ‘my lord’”.

Distracted by their conversation, Maera had not noticed that their dance had ended nor had she noticed that Cregan had maneuvered them to the doors that led out to the moonlit garden, unnoticed by everyone else in the hall. He pulled her hand to where he could place a kiss on it. “Maera, would you join me for a stroll through the garden?” With her nod of agreement, Cregan pulled her out into the garden.

Halfway through their walk, Maera found herself pressed against an ivy-covered fence. The rough surface was digging into her back yet Maera could pay it no mind. All she could focus on right now was the feel of Cregan’s body pressed against hers. Her lips were captured by his. She could taste the wine from earlier this evening. It wasn’t her first kiss but it was certainly her most memorable. Maera whined in disappointment as Cregan pulled away, however, her breath was stolen from her as Cregan moved his lips to kiss her neck. He bit her pulse point causing Maera to press further into his body. She gripped his shoulders to steady herself. “Cregan…”

“Yes, Maera? Tell me what you want. You are a princess. It is my duty to serve you. I will do whatever you ask of me.”

Maera was delirious. She had never been in a situation like this before. “I…I don’t know. Just don’t hurt me.”

“Maera. I would never hurt you. Trust me. You will very much like what I plan on doing to you."

With her approval, Cregan wrapped one of her legs around his waist. One of his hands slipped under her skirts and wandered up her thigh. His mouth moved from her neck and down until he reached her chest. With one more glance up to his princess to make sure she was comfortable with his actions, Cregan unlaced the bodice of her dress. He took one of her breasts into his mouth, his second hand going up to the other so as to not neglect it. Maera gasped. She arched against him and clutched his hair. “Cregan! By the gods!”

Cregan released her breast and smirked up at Maera. “The gods have nothing to do with this, princess. Only you and I.” He returned back to her chest, wanting to continue making Maera feel good enough to tug on his hair again. His hand that was under Maera’s skirts moved higher up until he reached her centre. With adept and practiced hands, he slowly circled between her thighs, right where he knew would bring her the most pleasure. 

Maera’s breath hitched at the unfamiliar sensation. “More. I want more.” Cregan gave no indication that he had heard her until she felt one of his fingers enter her. His thumb continued to circle her clit to make the intrusion more bearable. Not that it was needed, she was quite wet for him already. When he felt Maera relax, Cregan added a second finger and cocked them in a come hither motion. This elicited the loudest moan from Maera thus far. “Please, Cregan. Don’t stop.” He complied had moved his fingers faster until Maera was pulled over the edge. She came screaming his name. Cregan captured her mouth in a long and passionate kiss so as to swallow her moans.

Maera felt Cregan remove his fingers from her. This was the best thing she has ever felt. Nights alone in her bed were nothing compared to this. Her legs were shaking from the pleasure Cregan had bestowed upon her. She clutched his shoulders for support, unsure that she could even stand on her own. Cregan certainly wasn’t going to complain. Nothing was better than the feeling of her pressed against him. It also boosted his ego to know that he was able to make her feel so overcome by the pleasure that she was unable to even stand on her own. 

After steadying her, Cregan kissed Maera once more as he laced back up her bodice. “I believe we have been away from the feast long enough. They may send people out looking for us if we return soon.”

Maera tried to protest. She saw the bulge in Cregan’s trousers. She wanted to make him feel as good as he made her feel just now. “But you have not gotten your release yet Cregan. I do not want to be selfish.”

Cregan smiled. He was so happy that he had a princess begging to satisfy him, especially one as beautiful as Maera. Unfortunately, or fortunately, he was a smart enough man to know how to quit when ahead. He wasn’t going to risk the punishment for him or Maera if they were caught. “I know how to take care of myself. You go first. That way it will be less obvious that we were out here together. I will follow you a little later.”

Maera pushed forward and placed a brief kiss on Cregan’s cheek. “Thank you.” She whispered before heading back into the hall. Little did the two of them know that a certain one-eyed prince had seen the whole thing.

A/N - Happy Valentine's Day! Here is some Maera/Cregan smut as a gift. It was my first time writing smut so I'm sorry if it is utterly horrible.

#cregan stark #cregan x reader #cregan stark imagine #cregan stark fanfic #house of the dragon #hotd imagine #hotd oc #hotd fanfic #hotd #aegon ii targaryen #aemond targaryen #cregan stark smut

[yanderes-galore]

Romantic/Platonic Chol 'Von (Halo) with a human trader darling, who lives on one of the colonies that does unsavory business with pirates like her. Don't care which format, whichever is easiest to write.

I'm going to be honest, I've never read Mortal Dictata or any of the Kilo-Five books yet. However, I did do my research on the character so I hope I get her character right. Sorry for any inaccuracies! As a result this may be short. When I find time to read the book maybe I'll rewrite this, I'm happy to take feedback!

Yandere! Chol 'Von with Human Trader! Darling

(Halo: Mortal Dictata)

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Violence, Threats, Dubious companionship.

I wouldn't doubt Chol comes in contact with human traders.

With her ambitious goals and fondness towards human phrases and ideologies it isn't too far off to think she'd buy from you.

She needs supplies for her Kig-Yar navy and Kig-Yar have been known to ally with humans if it benefits them.

To you, Chol is merely a client when she visits your colony to discuss affairs.

She feels like an egotistical shipmistress T'vaoan Kig-Yar who enjoys intimidation.

Chol is also easily impatient and temperamental, very quick to be stressed when things don't go her way.

She's been known to be persistent in her goals and is stubborn.

To make some money you trade with her.

It isn't too new to you, you've traded with Kig-Yar and Sangheili in the past.

Yet this one is important... she's a feared shipmistress and knows it.

You've heard vaguely in Kig-Yar culture that females of the species tend to have a lot of power.

As a result you are always very respectful in your deals.

You supply fuel, weapons, all sorts of cargo.

In return you're given other valuable items or some sort of currency in return.

You're just in it for the connections and money.

Kig-Yar are pirates... but you feel they can be good allies if you provide them what they like.

Which is what Chol likes about you.

She likes your human ideologies and picks up certain phrases and info about you.

You aren't part of any major faction... just a human trying to get by.

In a way she relates due to her species culture.

Chol sees you as the key to seeing her goals through.

With your wares she can make that navy she wanted and maybe even convince the other Kig-Yar to listen to her.

Chol is more likely to be a platonic yandere to her new favorite trader.

However... toying with the romantic idea is a bit interesting albeit not plausible.

After all... she sees her current mate as a coward who fled from her and her chicks.

Maybe a human will provide much better... even if nothing can happen between you.

Chol is demanding towards you at times due to her egotistical nature.

It's an honor to help her as a human.

She respects you and is a fearsome T'vaoan shipmistress.

Can't you see you're special if she's interacting with you?

Having her as your ally will make you strong and protected.

So you better keep providing for her, yeah?

In fact... you only need her as your customer... she'll give you much better equipment in return for your services.

Her ego is definitely what makes her try to control you.

She promises you good things in return if you just make her your primary client.

If you don't do so willingly... she can threaten you.

Do you doubt her? She could cause so much trouble for you if you refuse her.

Chol feels she can control you.

After all she often boasts that she can get whatever she wants.

Any mate, any valuable, anything.

If not... she doesn't mind the ensuing bloodshed.

So when she makes an offer with you... one that makes you loyal to her on one of her ships by her side and under her protection as her primary merchant/negotiater...

She expects you to accept when she tells you.

#yandere halo #yandere halo novels #yandere chol 'von #yandere kig-yar

[magentagalaxies]

Kids in the Archive: Episode 2

the long-awaited follow up to my kids in the archive series, where i highlight the original scripts i have uncovered from iconic kids in the hall sketches and showcase the changes between script and screen.

Previous Episodes: Episode 1 - armada finale ("do we make it?")

today we're traveling all the way back to S1E8 for the classic Fran & Gordon sketch The Vacation.

fran & gordon, and the entire wilson family for that matter, have always been some of my favorite recurring characters mostly because Fran is my own mother's favorite KITH character. even before I started watching the show myself, I remember her quoting the "salty ham" sketch to me as a kid, and since kids in the hall has become such a part of our lives she often compares herself to fran with her own quaint mom mannerisms. my personal favorite fran & gordon sketch is the one where their son gets caught trying to steal gordon's wallet in the middle of the night, though i loved their reappearance in the revival season too.

The Opening

this sketch is fairly faithful to its script in the opening, with the only major difference being fran's outfit in the description. this is understandable, as the outfit in the sketch still captures a similar vibe and contrasts nicely with the orange-and-yellow color scheme of the kitchen itself. otherwise, only small phrases are substituted likely for pacing.

The Extra Wilson Family Lore

the only major deviation between these two versions of the sketch is a page of dialogue between fran and gordon which takes place before it's revealed brian didn't come home the previous night

once again, i can assume this exchange was cut for the purpose of pacing since the sketch is already on the longer end of kith scenes, and while there aren't any jokes i'm devastated to have missed, i do love how all of this added info is so in-character that of course this is something else they'd have in mind preparing for their vacation. however, the addition of this page does modify our understanding of fran's behavior: in the show version, her obsessive checking of the stove seems to be a coping mechanism consciously made so she can wait to see if brian walks in before she leaves. in the script, though, she doesn't remember this fact until gordon mentions her son directly. this implies that while the stove behavior was still motivated by brian, it was likely subconscious, or perhaps she is like this every time she travels.

The Ending

unlike our previous entry, this script does not include an extra ending beat, and instead ends a beat earlier with this line:

however, that might not be the case. most scripts i've found have the word "(FADE)" after the last line signifying the sketch is done, and this page instead ends with the stage direction above. it's entirely possible there's a page of this script i do not have in my possession, but for now this script does not include the final punchline of gordon's schedule having alotted time for a family blowout.

overall, this is one of the more faithful script-to-screen adaptations in my kith collection, likely because it was a table read script, while the armada script was a rough draft. while i was in toronto last time, bruce taught me that there was a different font and formatting used depending on which stage of development a script was in, with rough drafts, table read scripts, and shooting scripts all present. this script was at a stage where the writer(s) would be sharing it with the rest of the troupe, but other jokes could still easily be slotted in. my favorite jokes of this sketch, "why don't you just cut out my heart and put it in the bird feeder!" and "well, if you do get drunk, do it in the basement so you won't fall down the stairs" are nowhere to be found, but the general structure is as sturdy as the wilson family matriarch

#kids in the archive #time for a jessay #kids in the hall #scott thompson #kith #bruce mcculloch #90s vintage #sketch comedy #script to screen

[gynandromorph]

You’ve mentioned before that drake would be a far better god than jessie and would deal better with absolute power than most of your other characters, I find this incredibly interesting and I wondered if you could explain why a bit more?

yeah, sure. it's probably going to be a bit incomprehensible because it's 3 am right now (it is no longer 3 am but half of it was written at 3 am and i'm still stupid). drake's ocpd has compelled xem to feel obsessively invested in moral righteousness and to want an extreme amount of control over xyr environment. it's given xem a lot of incentive to think about what they would do differently, how they would make reality better, etc.

so, the main way that drake would be better than jessie as a god is because drake would care more about being a genuinely good god. xe is also not as impulsive or emotional as jessie; xe deliberates at length even for small interactions, and, while this can be debilitating in day-to-day life, if you were an omnipotent being totally exempt from the laws of time, this would not really be an issue. this quality also makes xem more capable of accurate insight and self-judgement.

i talked about shiloh and how as a god she would probably be a nightmarish sadist -- one might see her personality as similar to drake's because she's also more mellow and pattern-oriented. the difference between shiloh and drake (as well as jessie and drake) is that what drake finds gratifying is just worlds apart. drugs, sex, violence and power are things a lot of people find gratifying, but drake is someone who finds like... organizing books by size and color on the shelf gratifying. moving at a slower pace in general, unpredictable explosive experiences that feel exciting and interesting to the two lesbians feel overwhelming and unpleasant to xem. the avoidance of possible distress from possible mistakes is often a source of the gratification, so a lack of novelty wouldn't hit xem as hard, i think. basically being an ethical being WOULD BE what drake finds gratifying as a god because it's what xe finds gratifying already, which is a huge advantage. the fact that xyr desire for control is projected onto xyr environment is just a bonus -- since xe interprets the problems as coming from outside the house, xe's less likely to focus on inner desires for decision-making.

something drake has had to ponder more than many of my other characters is the fact that no one ever asks to be born, and most aren't entirely happy with what they're born with. i think it occurs to most people at some point that no one asks to be born, but drake has spent cumulative years ruminating on this. i find xyr take on godhood and how i conceptualize it interesting based on that even on its own, because drake wants a world where every single thing chooses to be born with an adequate amount of information to make the choice.

i've spent here or there thinking about how xe would try to go about doing this, and so far it's involved some kind of AI-like network which would approximate the entire lifespan of an individual without possessing a consciousness or emotional world of its own, then relay that in a chemical format. if the projected life is suitable for this hypothetical person and they'd most likely consent to living the life, the chemical info enters a matching receptor on a zygote and it progresses. this would happen several if not thousands of times during the process of producing a conscious being, i think. this is believable enough to me w/how much info dna itself can hold, and that wasn't designed with any intelligence. that's the best way i've come up with the chicken and the egg dilemma wrt conscious choice to be born thus far. the other component i've thought about is probably making life able to move about 4-dimensionally, essentially giving conscious beings the ability to time travel as a regular form of locomotion. i gotta imagine this isn't too big a deal when you can alter the laws of physics to your liking. i know that drake would also get rid of (nonconsensual) death not just by canceling it now, but reviving every single conscious creature that has ever died. oh, earth wouldn't support infinitely multiplying life? god can fix that. death is the only thing that makes life meaningful? no it doesn't. not in drake's world. meaning is a sensation in our heads subject to alterations, just like every emotion. some things might not want to live forever? some things might want to feel sadness, pain, anger, and suffering? well, it'd be immoral for drake to decide how they should feel by getting rid of these unpleasant emotions, so xe will give them the choice to die if they want to, and the choice to undie, probably handled by the same network that estimates if they want to be born - the choice to feel sad or opt out, the choice to feel pain or opt out, etc. to drake, this would not only resolve the "suffering gives life meaning" argument, but would also functionally prevent any given subject from forcing another subject to feel anything it doesn't want to. drake would yield a lot of power to xyr subjects, because the power differential between a god and its sims in a sandbox is inherently going to be an abuse of that power in exchanges. you could argue that xe would do well with absolute power because xe would make xyr power... Not absolute relatively quickly after some things were stabilized. given the idea that maybe they could not choose anything at all, like how a fictional character can't choose anything, i think that xe would resort to breaking up xyr infinite amount of choice into tiny pieces compartmentalized away from xem, like someone dissociating but intentionally, and putting that into the subjects instead. this would be an odd limitation, though, and would preclude omnipotence. i just think the decisions xe would make based on xyr sense of ethics would be neat because of how unyielding those moral "rules" are and other elements of xyr personality.

#GREAT question insane answer thank you

[jesuiscenseedormir]

@edmundodiazz asked : i see your posts about kaamelott and have to try reeally hard not to give up to temptation and search for/start something new. i have responsibilities! but… french and arthurian legends… it’s so tempting

FRIEEEEND I'm sorry, I am not even a little sorry. You've caught me on the verge of a Kaamelott obsession renaissance. Let me sit down.

You've seen my attempt at a short and concise summary here. This will not be that...

Quick facts: Seasons 1-4 have a short format (lots of ~5 min episodes), seasons 5-6 have a long format (a few ~40-50 min ep). Season 6 is a "prequel" and the last episode is in the present. The seasons are called books (livres).

I will add that, although I never looked it up myself, I know for a fact that there's english subtitles available. Also, I remember hearing about the episodes being on youtube in certain countries, so that's something to check, maybe, possibly.

I just, imprinted on this show as a kid (it started in 2005) and never let it go. So, I'm probably gonna wax poetics about it (as it deserves!)

I like the expression 'crack treated seriously' because the author (Alexandre Astier, who plays Arthur, and has his name all over the credits) approaches comedy as something that cannot work if it's not treated seriously. It can't be funny, it can't resonate with people, it can't tell a compelling story, if it's not treated seriously. All that AND it's fucking crack, it's stupid and I love these silly characters. It's a story of/about characters, you could get attached to any that appears on screen. (Which is probably a consequence of AA writing characters for an actor/with an actor in mind.)

Okay, let's talk about the characters then : (PS writing this is english is weird)

Le Roi Arthur - He's designated by the gods to unite the kingdoms, find the grail, bring light the people; simple enough mission, right?. He's trying to achieve that with the knights of the round table, who are an eclectic and incompetent group of people. They all have their skills and qualities, but to achieve that mission, to understand the purpose, to work together as a group, etc, it's... complicated. And at first, it's all fun and game, especially in the beginning of the story since we're getting to know everyone and their dynamics. Throughout the show, we see Arthur struggle with the burden of that divine mission, whether it's in a light and silly context or an intense and dramatic one.

La Reine Guenièvre - She. She is the wife of king Arthur. That's her mission, right. Support your king, produce an heir, standard queen stuff. Except, it's pretty hard to do that when your husband is emotionally distant and no one taught you sex ed. (They marriage has never been consumed, it's a whole thing). They share a bed, they have little chit chats before sleep, he acts like she's annoying and repulsive, clearly she's adorable and gorgeous. I guess, at first she comes off as haha here's yet an another incompetent, but she's a very sensitive and intuitive person (and I love her). We get to see her and Arthur's relationship evolve throughout show; how much affection Arthur actually as for her; Arthur realizing how blessed he is to have her as queen; her relationships with other people (like the official mistresses of Arthur who she's friends with, or...)

Seigneur Lancelot - He's the competent knight of the round table. He cares about their mission. He's dedicated and loyal. He and Arthur have a good relationship, you could definitely call them friends. He's cordial with the queen, friendly even. He is very much the type of person who's flaws stem from their qualities. I could say more, but I won't.

I'll try to be shorter and stay superficial for the rest.

Seigneur Léodagan and Dame Séli - They're Guenièvre's parents. They're competent king and queen of the Carmélide kingdom. They're good at politics, strategy, war. They're very much In-Laws.

Seigneurs Perceval and Karadoc - They're the least competent knights of the bunch. They don't know what's happening. They're an epic and iconic duo. Keep an eye out for Perceval (positive).

Merlin l'enchanteur - We know for a fact that he can do magic, but like, how many times has he done a useful spell...?? And actually, he's a druid not an enchanter, thank you very much.

La Dame du Lac (The Laby of the Lac ?) - Only Arthur can see and communicate with her. She is his link to the gods. She has to be his guide through his divine mission.

All the other knights - some are at the head of their kingdom like Léodagan, some are not like Perceval and Karadoc or like Seigneur Bohort (I just had to mention him by name) or Seigneurs Yvain and Gauvain (another epic duo), some are just following along, some are more antagonists, etc

And so many more amazing characters I know I'm omitting some major ones

Special mention for the sword Excalibur because I love her special effects and her impacts on the story.

#🌻 #questions-réponses #anna #kaamelott #and it still feels not enough

[fyodorkitkat]

Who do you think is the deepest character in diabolik lovers and whyyyyyy :3 (sorry if this is weird btw :,))

Tomà out here activating my dialovers derangement syndrome 🥲 ty ty ty also sry sry sry in advance 🙏💜

Minors dni with this post

This is not weird omg no one ever asks me about dialovers you need to understand I was into VNs including otome before I was into any anime (including bsd) and diabolik lovers is my longest term obsession that isn't music 💜🙏 This is mostly going to involve things from the games (because the anime was basically silly fanservice that barely scratches the surface for anyone) but I'll leave out drama cd stuff because I would actually need to go refresh myself on those.

Absolute novel under the cut sorry. also cw noncon, cw dubcon, cw abuse, cw csa, cw suicide, cw matricide

Anyone not familiar with the series who decides to continue pls be aware of these warnings and take care of yourself. Also pls understand everything I say is in terms of the series and setting. Absolutely nothing that happens in these games would make any of these characters redeemable irl. This is fiction and a trashfire Do-S fetish franchise. Trauma doesn't excuse abuse. I don't condone any of the bad behavior from this series irl. (Sorry since this isn't my sideblog I feel I need to explain this so ppl don't come at me thinking I'm excusing stuff for reals with this little analysis)

Also this is probably going to have spelling mistakes and horrific formatting because I wrote it on mobile so my bad on that too.

This was so hard to answer because so many of them have serious trauma, maladaptive coping mechanisms, and large amounts of growth throughout the various sequels. I think you could make the logical argument of depth for every single character. The Sakamaki triplets are def the most tragic of the first two games in this regard though (maybe only rivaled by the Tsukinami brothers once we get to Dark Fate because of the whole being the sole survivors of genocide thing)

But as a whole I think Carla and Shin deal with their predicaments in a more outwardly focused manner (which makes sense given their stories and roles as antagonists in their debut game) so I don't think I could objectively call them the deepest esp Carla even though he is my fave.

So out of the Sakamaki triplets I am going to go with Laito. Shocking I know because I have said before he is the one I am the most terrified of. But hear me out.

(I'm using HBD (haunted dark bridal) to refer to the first game, and MB (more blood) to refer to the second game going forward)

His first route in hdb is a stomach twisting mess of isolation, noncon, gaslighting and victim blaming. It is also the only route in that game where Yui tries to kill herself, which imo is really notable. Tbh the first time I played it I was so deeply uncomfortable I didn't really give his character a lot of thought. During replays and some of his drama cds though it def changed my perspective of him (in terms of the deepness of his character, not my dislike of him)

Here are my arguments in topical format because I don't really want to go through and do the research needed to refresh myself and make this chronological. Also if I am mistaken with anything I've paraphrased my bad it's because this isn't a real essay more of a rant that you might regret reading lol.

- Cordelia

We can't go into the rest of my arguments without the facts. He was groomed by his mother and experienced a childhood of CSA at her hands. And he is absolutely confused and suffering when he has his flashbacks. Yes he kills her with the other two triplets, but that didn't actually solve anything for him internally, and I think it is a pretty clear-cut argument that his negative traits and behaviors can be linked back to his unresolved trauma from this. He even says it himself too when he tries to project onto Yui and claim her hatred for him must be the same as his for Cordelia (though unnamed in his quote im pretty sure) that a hatred can run so deep that even killing the person won't relieve the burning. The other ironic part of this is that in the dialovers universe it is explained multiple times that the highest act of love for a vampire is murder. So. Every LI (Reiji, Laito, Ayato, Kanato) that committed matricide out of their hatred probably has some deeper more complex feelings going on than that. (You could also argue maybe a similar thing about Carla and patricide as well though he is Founder/First Blood not vampire. But he is more open about his reasoning and feelings around his parents and why he did what he did imo)

- His disdain of purity (plot twist. It's jealousy).

We repeatedly see him mock both Yui's purity and religiosity. He is arguably the worst out of all of the LIs when it comes to this topic, and hits this point right out the gate when he assaults her in the abandoned church. It is simultaneously a logical and also weird choice on his part to continue on with when you realize how unwavering her faith actually is, and if you do other routes before this one you are already coming in realizing no matter how much she "breaks", "changes", or "gives in" in other ways, she never actually abandons her faith completely even in future games when she is living quite literally in the demon world. Even in routes where she becomes a vampire she doesn't eschew God. However it is canon that she is a devout Catholic and that she originally wanted to be a nun (before the events of the game screw that up for her), so it is still relevant.

While it may have started as a way to try and break her down, it really becomes more and more clear through his routes that like a bunch of his other behaviors, he is projecting his own struggles onto Yui.

He is jealous of her purity, so he attacks it. He is jealous of her faith, so he attacks it. He is jealous of her unwavering belief in goodness and in humanity, so he just. keeps. attacking. it. Because seeing it exist in front of him hurts, but especially early on he isn't aware of his own emotions or why he acts the way he does. So many things in his routes and his monologues highlight the fact that Laito views himself as permanently dirtied by his past, and this behavior is tied to that.

- His inability to identify his feelings from his fake front and his use of sex to maladaptively deal with his trauma.

** I wrote way too much on this and decide nvm I think even if someone has only seen the anime his hypersexuality probably speaks for itself. Plus this is getting so long 😔**

-His lack of control in MB and "forced" behavior. His confusion over his own tears near the end of HDB.

There are various instances (esp in MB where his characterization is wildly different and desperate compared to HDB) where we see his mask start to crack, or realize that his mask wasn't actually very good to begin with and the exhaustion from the continous abuse in his routes has caused both Yui (and us as the reader) to fall for his bullshit more easily. He plays the part of a pervert, but Shu (who arguably is a massive pervert) calls him out in MB for being a phony. His behavior in MB makes him come across as desperate and out of control, as opposed to his calculated sadism in HDB. This all comes back to his inner turmoil, unresolved feelings, and trauma and we slowly unpeal those layers through the rest of the series.

I think at baseline it is really easy to dismiss Laito. I did from the beginning too. Plus he never stops calling Yui Bitch-chan no matter how many sequels he gets 🤦‍♂️ But that is just falling for his fake front, exactly what he wants you to do because then he can just keep carrying on without dealing with his bs and let off steam temporarily in the process. But under the surface there is a lot more going on. And he definitely is a character that has an insane amount of depth.

Sorry for the multi part novel. I don't even like him as an LI even in this series. But for a series with so many inconsistencies, retcons across games, and questionable writing choices, they did a good job with his character. I just need him to stay far away from both me and Yui 🥲 Imagine if you had asked me something that prompted me to talk about my faves 💀💀💀

#-Lue asks #sorry for not tagging the series to anyone who filters it i dont want my rambling mess in the main tag 🙏💜 #cw abuse #cw suicide mention #cw csa mention #cw noncon #cw dubcon #minors dni with this post

[lintujoki]

I decided to give the little ones soft fluffy sweaters so that they do not freeze and always feel tenderness

There are things I'm afraid to think about when thinking about their childhood. Life in the Subterranean-Shunning Grounds is hard even for adult Omens, it's scary to imagine how unbearable it is for weak and impressionable children

I think they were very scared at first, but then they got used to it and began to consider all this horror normal, which is what it should be. On the one hand, it at least slightly facilitated moral existence, on the other, the fact that they considered these conditions and the treatment of them normal is terrible

The conditions of their life could not raise any of them healthy and full. Why one went one way, and the other completely different, became a question for me, after which I began to invent a story. I started with their childhood, for me Mohg and Morgott have been in different positions since childhood, which influenced the formation of their characters.

Mohg took on the responsibility of taking care of the frequently ill Morgott. Morgott began to develop a sense of guilt for not even being able to give something to Mohg in return - when he feels better, he tries to amuse his brother, play with him and support him, but when he is sick, he simply cannot do it. Mohg, on the other hand, was greatly overextended psychologically from the responsibility that had fallen on him, after all, he was just a child. As a result, his psyche found a way of protection that cannot be called healthy. Mohg began to feel that Morgott was weaker than him, that it depended on him. This caused a feeling of power over him, control, that Morgott would be next to him, and would not go anywhere, because he could not do without him. Later it turned into insanity and obsession, obsession with Morgott. Now Mohg was dependent on his brother, psychologically.

Morgott's vulnerable condition made him more malleable than his brother, while he was very loyal to Mohg, and the constant feeling of guilt that he was always ill drove him into a codependent relationship with his brother.

In two alternative stories, their fates develop in different ways: the first is close to the canon, where they will be separated after the Shattering, the second is far from the canon, in which Mohg will be able to escape in his youth, and then take Morgott for himself. The different development of the stories will be influenced not only by the time at which Mohg will be able to escape, but also by some events from their childhood, a certain character who in one situation will not allow Morgott to completely fall under Mohg's control, and in another will never appear in their lives, which will increase suffering

#art #elden ring #morgott #morgott the grace given #morgott the omen king #mohg #mohg lord of blood #traditional art

[itsjaywalkers]

hi lovey how are you <3

it's late—like,,,4am late—and im somehow spewing out actual sentences BUT i have a question and i've been debating on how to start this whole thing so ill just say fuck it n get it out there—how do you keep up with all your wips??? bc like,,,,i've started writing, and i LOVE it. it's so fun to have these ideas finally out in word format instead of just stuck in my head.

but i have a really bad habit of starting smth n then...moving on to smth else when inspiration strikes. i occasionally go back to what i was originally writing, but even then it doesn't last long before im starting a whole new story 😭 im a little peeved as i've completely abandoned this one writing i slaved away at for days abt the backstory of one of my ocs—im somewhat proud of it n i don't want to just not get back into it.

as i write this, im currently staring at my laptop as i churn out yet another story of said oc (along with multiple other ocs myself n a friend made together) n im just,,,perplexed?? i suppose, on how so many fic writers keep up with all their wips.

i realize now that im just droning on n on so ill end here. writing is a bitch but also feels me with accomplishment when i do end up finishing smth, so i was just curious as to how you work around wips n things like that.

hello darling, i'm okay!! kinda dreading today's shift, but it is what it is. how are u tho??

and to be honest with u, i don't keep up with my wips like . at all . i do try to maintain some order, and sometimes i forbid myself from working on a story in favour of focusing on another one, but it doesn't always work, and there are times in which i really want to work on a fic even tho it's not a priority or supposed to be posted any time soon. but still, i try not to beat myself up over it, bc fanfiction is a hobby and something that i do for fun!! it shouldn't feel like a chore, so even if i do want to keep a schedule or alternate between wips so i can have some resemblance of balance, it's not really necessary, or even possible, considering the amount of wips i have lmao. it's our work and our writing, we're free to never finish anything if we don't want to, or to write 13847872648 fics at the same time, or to write only one for the rest of our lives. there are no rules or a right way to go about it yk??? i totally get the need to . focus on just one project, or at least be able to finish something, anything, but it'll happen at some point, i promise, and u should never force yourself, especially when it comes to an activity u do bc u love it and enjoy it

it's different if we talk about original fiction or original characters.. at least in my case!! i didn't get into writing fanfic until a few years ago, but i've been writing original stories since i can remember!! in fact there's this one i'm very slowly making progress with, that i came up with back when i was 17, and that i really want to . finish someday and hopefully try and publish it. for me, and when i'm really passionate about a project, like with this one, i do . force myself to not write anything else . it's inevitable to get new ideas, so i write them down, i make pinterest boards and even outlines, and occassionally, i also start them, write a lil of them when i need a break or to scratch the itch. but otherwise i just . do my best to stick to the one that i really love and i'm the proudest of. i do tend to hyperfixate and obsess a lot, so it's not THAT hard for me, bc even if i do get distracted sometimes, i always come back to this story. especially since i've been working on it for almost 5 years now, and i know it like the back of my hand. i could write three prequels and four sequels lol

so really, i don't think there's a right or wrong way to go about this. one of my best friends, and a writer i quite admire, jumps from a wip to another all the time, and also struggles to finish a story, but she just . trusts the process . lets herself have fun and write whatever she wants every day . it's been a while since she last finished something but she isn't too worried yk?? she enjoys what she does, and what matters is that she keeps writing. every person is different, and the way they approach writing is, too!!

my advice is to try and find out what works best for u and to stop beating yourself up over something that might be out of ur control. if u have this one story that's really important to u and that u really wanna finish, then maybe ur gonna have to practise some self-discipline, and force yourself a little, forbid yourself from getting distracted with these other shiny new ideas. but if doing that ruins the whole thing for u and sucks the fun out of writing then . take it one day at a time, focus on something different each day, and start 4 stories in the same week. it doesn't matter babe!! writing is an art, there's not a correct way to do it!!

#sorry if this wasn't very helpful i'm never the best person to ask about writing.. #but i'm wishing u the best <333 #and i'm sure all ur stories are lovely #regardless of you finishing them or not #sending u a big hug #asks #s tag #on writing

[sealeneee]

no seriously WHY is there a 50 something year old dude on tumblr with an extremely unhealthy obsession with th*ron sh*n (censoring so he doesn't find me bc he seems to have too many separate blogs for some reason). like my problem isn't the age itself it's the fact that someone who is old enough to be my parent is participating in dumb tumblr nonsense like coming to posts about other LIs and saying th*ron is better than them when nobody asked or saying unhinged things like "th*ron is definitely more enthusiastic with males" or that "you aren't aro or ace if you feel any attraction" (yes, the insane fandom guy is also an exclusionist. big surprise). like i'm not expecting anyone to talk about this or make call-out posts or whatever i just find this person so baffling i HAD to say this. this all started with a friend making a post saying they don't like sh*n and this dude randomly showing up in replies like akchually th*ron is the best romance (1. debatable 2. nobody asked) and you suck for saying this!!!! dude you know you can just. go past. and block/ignore? which he didn't do bc not only could the friend see that bonkers reply she also saw a very insane response post how it's not nice to say that a character sucks. which okay is valid but the formatting was bonkers. unfortunately i don't have a screenshot and the blog is now deactivated but it was an insane post trust me. at the same time this person reblogged a dumb post that was ragging on another character. palpatine-saying-ironic.gif.

why am i even telling y'all this? idk ignore me it's like 5 in the morning and i haven't gone to bed yet. but if you have any more details let me know i am invested. also if you, the dude this post is about, are reading this, get therapy for the love of god you need it more than anyone i ever met

#'sealene this is a wendy's' listen just let me talk it out ok

[hansoheeglobal]

Part 2. The Moment When Han Sohee Just Exists

Q. When I watched "Sound Track" #1 released last year, I thought of this. ‘What would it be like to be the childhood friend of Han Sohee, a natural person?’ I think it would be fun to film it as a fake documentary.

I also like the fake documentary format. Usually, fake documentaries are often used in the horror genre.

Q. Like "The Office", you can make it into an interview format. By the way, do you have any childhood friends or middle and high school friends you keep in touch with?

There are a lot.

Q. How do they see Sohee who became a star? I think I'd be surprised every day.

just… Look at me like that. That's why we can still be friends. I have middle school friends and high school friends, but they are rather worried about me. They don't even brag about the fact that they know me, but they just sees me as Sohee of that time.

Q. Those relationships are really precious.

of course.

Q. I think the more such relationships there are, the stronger a person becomes. That's what I thought while reading Sohee's blog.

Me? I'm a total fragile, right? (laughs)

Q. ah… It's fragile. (laughs)

The reason I have friends like that is also because I treated them that way. They act without hesitation. Even when I go out drinking or having fun, I don’t hide anything. It's okay for people to recognize it. It's not like you're breaking the law to hang out with your friends. I'd appreciate it if you could recognize me. My friends also seem to feel proud when people recognize me.

Q. I saw a photo of Sohee drinking with her friends a while ago and was a little drunk, and I wondered what to say… I felt the honest warmth I felt in the inn room photos of Hwang Jeongmin, Cho Seungwoo, and Ji Jinhee.

Ah. (Laughs) That’s a little different. They are famous people.

Q. (Laughs) That’s… It's about honesty without embellishment, and it was in the title of a previous interview. Although it is a title written by a reporter, it is ‘Han Sohee, what is more important than beauty is honesty.’ Isn’t this a very important attitude in life?

Isn’t it more obvious than important? Conversely, ask the question, ‘Why can’t I be honest?’ and also ask the question, ‘Why do I have to ‘pretend’?’ I answered that there was absolutely no need for that.

Q. Another interview said that. "It’s a job that requires me to look in the mirror a lot, but I try not to look in the mirror." It also has a similar meaning.

That means this. We have a job that requires us to look in the mirror a lot, so we know what angles look good on our faces. When filming a drama or movie, it's easy to get into the habit of showing only what I want to show. When filming “My Name,” I started the habit of not looking in the mirror so I wouldn’t be bothered by the angle.

Q. There is something in line with the ‘honest attitude toward life’ we talked about earlier.

Yes. In the work, I have to become that character. The desire to show the pretty side of Han Sohee as a person becomes disingenuous in the work. In order to live the life of a character, an honest attitude in acting is to first erase it from memory without looking at where it is pretty and where it is not, and to exclude all elements outside the work. Of course, it doesn't have to continue like that. In a photo shoot like today, the purpose of the shoot is to show my most attractive side.

Q. I think you read a lot of books too.

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with the question, ‘What are emotions?’ What I read recently is '애도 일기 (Journal de Deuil).’ This book is a compilation of the memories the author recorded with her mother over the course of a year, like a diary, after her mother passed away. When reading this book, you can clearly feel the author's emotions. She said that people do not break down in an instant just because they lose someone they love. I live my daily life. Then, she breaks down when she receives a letter from her friend who lives across the river, saying, ‘I saw your mother the day before she died, and she was wearing her gray clothes.’ That one sentence made her come to terms with her mother's death. As I read, I thought about ‘time to accept emotions.’ The time we are aware of depression or sadness can be frighteningly long. So, even if you go through something and are okay now, you may not be okay two or three years from now. So shouldn’t we always doubt our feelings?

Q. What you just said is so cool. Looking closely at one's own emotional state is an essential attitude for everyone, including actors.

that's right. You need to practice objectifying yourself often. Especially your feelings.

Q. I've heard of that before. For example, write down how many minutes it took for me to open my eyes and get out of bed this morning. When I'm depressed, the time gets longer.

It could be something like that. It could be something like how many times I made eye contact with people and smiled today. How was my day today, what did it feel like, what was the temperature, and how many things did I force myself to do today? Remembering these things is very helpful in living. When you're busy, you don't even realize that your mind is getting tired.

Q. I'm a little touched right now.

The human body is more scientific than you might think.

Q. That's right. When you're physically struggling, your mind is really struggling.

It's so hard.(laughs) I can't stay up all night.

Q. Why are reading and watching movies important for actors?

There is a saying that "Sadness is the saddest when you hold back sadness, and laughter is the funniest when you hold back laughter." But there are people who laugh when they are sad, and there are people who are sad when they laugh. Sadness is not all the same sadness, but joy is not all the same joy. We have to express delicate sorrows and subtle joys that are not expressed in words. Reading a lot of books and screens is similar to preparing paint to draw emotions. Of course, drawing with 10 paints is different from drawing with 100 paints. I really want to fill it up and prepare about 1,000. (laughs)

Q. You said you were exploring your emotions earlier. Do you have anxiety among them?

why? Reporter, are you anxious?

Q. Yes. I often get anxious.

I've been reading a very thick book called "The Book of Anxiety" for quite some time. There's something impressive about the book. Everyone feels anxiety except when they sleep for 24 hours. However, we may forget our anxiety by sleeping, exercising, or simply doing simple work. This anxiety is a very thin piece of paper. So we have to diligently clean up today's anxiety and tomorrow's anxiety so that this anxiety does not build up one by one. Every day so that it doesn't build up in my mind anymore.

Q. How do I clean it up?

Have you seen the documentary “Marina Abramovic: The Artist is Present” (2011)? If you look at it, you can see a scene where you don't do anything and just stay still. I think that training is the best training for humans to get rid of anxiety. Marina Abramovich brings 30 people to her house to eat almost nothing, close their eyes and train them still in the woods. That's what I do at home these days. Staying still. I don't think about anything and just stay still, whether it's 5 or 10 minutes. I'm vulnerable to anxiety like you. But you can't live your whole life vulnerable. I'm sure we can make the human brain work differently if we know how it works. That's why I'm studying. I'm trying to fix it so that I'm not vulnerable to anxiety.

Q. I was impressed again. The desire to study and fix things is so healthy and wonderful.

It took me a lot of attempts to get here. If you leave because you don't like what you don't like, nothing will change. In the end, a person must know how to stand alone.

Q. This is the last question. What kind of actor do you want to be.

An irreplaceable actor. an absolutely irreplaceable actor.

Note: rough trans so there might be a lot of error.

#han sohee #xeesoxee #hansohee #lee sohee #korean actress #한소희

[aen-lliash]

I feel like I'm ready to talk at greater length about my experiences with STO and how I've reached this point of burnout/alienation with it after all these years.

The biggest reason? It's not the same game I became obsessed with in 2014. That's actually normal and to be expected of most MMOs and people (you should check out this video about the phenomenon!), but let me explain what that means for me here. Quick disclaimer, you are allowed to disagree with me on this -- I'm discussing my subjective point of view, not any objective fact.

Putting this under a readmore because it's long - please click "keep reading" below :)

What captured my heart was STO's storytelling and how it was formatted to be super duper friendly to making OCs. I could make an OC that got inserted into the STO (and overall Trek) universe with pretty minimal effort on my part! It had enough callbacks to canon to be satisfying to me as a Trekkie, but it also had enough new stuff that it was exciting and fresh. My first two years in college were spent imagining up my OC's takes on different mission arcs more often than uh.. college. Long-time friends and followers will recall my obsession with the Dyson Sphere and the Iconian War.

But that's when things started to change, right after the Iconian War. The war itself felt like the great culmination of all the past mission arcs, like we built up to the conflict and it exploded into this terrible intergalactic event. Since then, no new missions have felt the same to me.

STO seemed to evolve further into a super segmented Star Trek theme park after that. We already had Voyager Land (the Delta Quadrant) before the war, and it played a relatively satisfying role in the war; however, it became especially clear with the Gamma Quadrant arc that we were getting a new expansion into Deep Space 9 Land after the short burst of original stuff like the Lukari and the Tzenkethi (I know that the Tzenkethi existed in canon before, but STO took them and ran with them).

It has become increasingly clear in recent years that the priority has shifted towards incorporating as many cameos as possible to run the stories, not the other way around. I LOVE Tilly and Mary Wiseman, don't get me wrong, but the way they finagled a way to get Tilly to still be alive in the STO era (having her literal fascist Mirror Universe counterpart travel into the future) felt ingenuine as hell to me. The way I see it, it's less about the story and more about capitalizing on the #SillyForTilly craze to draw new players in. Same goes for all the other canon characters, but Tilly's has felt the most egregious to me personally.

Yes, it IS cool as hell that STO has these actors willing to come in to record cameo voiceovers. It IS cool as hell that we recently got to fight alongside both Tilly and Janeway at the SAME TIME! But it's important to remember that they're not "our" Tilly and Janeway; they're their Mirror counterparts, and one of them is only there as a result of temporal shenanigans. Temporal shenanigans totally happen in canon Trek and are part of the charm, but in the case of STO, they feel excessive to me.

The way I see it, STO is putting the cameos themselves over the characters over the stories. The cameos drive engagement, which drives the ruthless monetization that has also been strangling the life out of the game. It's Star Ship Online and hey omg look over there it's Tilly and Janeway and Wesley omg wow look aaaaaaaah!!!!1!!! I understand that capitalism is gonna capitalism, the game will do what it feels it must do to survive, but it has lost all charm to me.

I came for the sense that I was being included in the universe (via my OCs, because let's face it, OCs are always self-inserts to varying degrees), now I feel like I'm watching an extremely, painfully slow interactive new Trek series that also feels like an advertisement for merch targeted at a super specific audience.

When it comes to the screenshot thing I got myself so entrenched in... I felt like I was an unpaid advertiser for the "new" game, especially when it came to lockbox and promo box ships that people will spend hundreds of dollars to obtain. 99% of the time my art of those ships came from the tribble test server or sniping screenshots of somebody else's ship, all because of the pressure to continually Create Content™. I felt emboldened to continue Creating Content™ when it became "ship art" and not just "rurinn's silly little pictures," and that's when I became Known On The Internet -- a goal of mine for a long time that turned out to be more thorns than rose petals.

We also have to acknowledge the behavior of the community at large when it comes to that monetization and how creators such as myself get caught in the crossfire. The hate I got over this recreation of a cutscene from A Measure of Morality -- not-so-subtly advertising a 300 USD ship bundle -- was unbelievable, and it still wasn't nearly as bad as the utterly soulless behavior that my partner faces to this day for his videos.

I could go on. For days, probably. Subjects such as the extreme monetization + the rampant unmoderated hate in chat that seeps into the adjacent social media communities come to mind. I felt like my soul had been siphoned away for a time because of it all -- the pain of outgrowing something I loved dearly, watching it change into something unrecognizable, and being berated and harassed by other players and community members drowning in their own toxicity and hate.

I am grateful for STO. I met so many friends because of it. It helped me through some unimaginably difficult times in my life. I met my partner through it and even collaborated with him to create some stunning art. I have been hurting over this for a long time, but I think I'm finally at a stage where I can accept what happened, move on, and heal.

#oh long-form blogging how i missed you #'long form blogging' actually just rambling with vague coherence #if this is a stark contrast from your experience with sto then i'm so happy for you #this is your captain probably yelling

[burinazar]

(Umineko spoilers maybe idk)

i forget if i've posted it here but I've been reading Umineko for a really long time

I've just finished episode 5, the first "answer" arc, believing it would finally reveal what "really" happened in some of the earlier episodes (actually for some reason I thought it would be a retelling of episode 1 from a different POV, but it became clear it wasn't lol), and...it was really confusing and the whole ending was a huge slog and I still feel like I'm waiting for it to 'pay off'. I'm very willing to be patient with fiction but at this point the amount of time invested versus amount of enjoyment/portions where I actively felt like reading onwards instead of a sunk cost thing is getting ridiculously unbalanced. I've never spent this much time working through a single a piece of entertainment in my entire life, I think, not counting things that I dropped or put on hold.

The thing is, I watched the episode one stage play recently and relly enjoyed it. That I feel capable to theorize about, et cetera. Having full visuals of everything happening, even if we couldn't take the visuals as exact reality, really helped. f the whole thing was available as plays I wouldn't be having this problem, both the format and the length are far more appealing to me. I know there's a manga, but I've never heard anyone say to read that instead of the VNs or a suggestion that's the way to do it, and it's probably late to switch. I feel really frustrated. If I keep reading, it's throwing more time at somethingI've already spent so much time on with little reward, but if I don't keep reading, I'll never know what is really happening and unfortunately I do want to know.

And...I just...don't get why it isn't working for me. It's obviously true not every person will click with every piece of entertainment -- but everyone says this is good fiction for people who like to get meta, who like to interrogate the narrative, who like to form their own theories. If you've followed me for any length of time you know I love overanalyzing shit, I love reading much farther into things than the author intended, I'm enamored with 'stories about stories' and the idea of pulling out characters in the middle to talk to them and see what they think of their fate and whether they might fight against it and against the conventions of narrative is all catnip to me.

I just don't get why none of that is happening with this story for me. Could it be because I don't feel a strong enough connection to the characters and story to analyze it THAT much? It's true I'm not fixated, and that's usually what leads to me super-analyzing a series --but obviously that's not a requirement for me to watch/read/enjoy something, and I don't *dislike* the characters. Surely a lot of people were just reading this VN the way one reads a mystery novel normally, with a "normal" amount of interest in what's going on and thinking about it... I really like sherlock holmes and agatha christie (at least i used to a lot growing up), and the fact of 'i'm not that obsessed with whoever holmes is helping this time because why would i be' was not at all a barrier to following along with the mystery or applying reasoning to it...that really can't be it...

It feels impossible to theorize because I understand the format so little, and having it explained to me doesn't help -- it's just way too hard for me to tell what narration is from the point of view of a character (who may be unreliable) and what is from the point of view of a story and 'actually happening' and thus can be used as a clue to deduce off of, and the red and blue truths are supposedly to help with this but like, I'm trying to look at the story and theorize off *that* and those aren't meant to be the entire story on their own (one can use them to falsify theories but to come up with theories you're supposed to use the story itself as told in the white text...and I don't know what in the white text can "really be used", and also there's so MUCH of it and I forget half of what happened by the end of an arc).

......I've been trying to finish this VN for over a year and a half at this point. The entire experience has been so defeating to be honest. If I heard someone tell me this about LOGH when they were seventy episodes in I'd tell them they shouldn't force themselves to keep watching and that it's very likely the series just isn't their thing, but the difference is in Umineko I feel like all the time I've spent so far will be hugely wasted if I never get to find out what happened, and i DO WANT to know, it's not just a sunk cost fallacy, I don't want to miss out on knowing -- whereas someone who watched 70 episodes of LOGH would at least fucking know what happened in those episodes and quit with some comprehension of the portion of the narrative that they've covered already...

I guess I'm particularly dejected right now because I thought the ending of the fifth arc was going to have, uh, answers. Since it's an "answer" arc. But unless we're meant to believe that the culprit named at the end is the real one (it seems like no? Unless we can't even rely on her internal monologue about not being guilty. After all, her internal monologue isn't in red, so It can't be relied upon to be her real thoughts...or something...?!) I would have called myself a fan of mystery, but none of this makes me want to "think" at all because it's so confusing and so long and there's so much. I've finally hit the "answer" arcs and there are still no answers.

#idk #is it too late to switch to reading the manga #i know i shouldn't watch the anime #just. fuck. i'm usually good at shit like this in fiction #analyzing character motives. even puzzles and ciphers #i did an escape room a couple weeks ago and kicked ass at it? just. this thing.. ... i can't apply my brain to it at all #i genuinely did like the stage play a lot........... it made me want to continue with the VN #but it's just torturing me at this point #but i can't stop because i want to know #so that eps 1 through 5 weren't a waste #oh i also almost never remember to look at the supplemental material/notes so maybe i'm missing out a lot #maybe that's what you're supposed to use for theories? because i can't REMEMBER most of the actual details/clues presented in the actual te #*text because there's just so so so so so so so much text

[yanderes-galore]

We need a Sans from Dusttale yandere alphabet, please!

Sure! Here's more angst content, lol :) This was written on PC, I am sorry for any formatting errors. Due to plot, character, and how Alphabets work... I suggest reading the concept I did for him for a more in depth idea, lol (Sorry, Alphabets are getting repetitive to me so I'm just trying to get some old ones done.)

Original Concept Here

Yandere Alphabet - Murder Sans

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Forced affection, Stalking, Manipulation, Murder/Mercy killing, Death cycle, Angst, Mind break (Sans), Kidnapping mentioned, Trauma, Dark themes, Dubious/Forced companionship/relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Compared to usual Sans, this Sans grows to be more twisted with affection. For this Alphabet I'll do my favorite way to write Murder! Sans. He used to be just as affectionate as regular Sans, but due to the new Genocide loop... his affection is more deranged. He comes off more forceful and delusional with you in this AU. As a result, he's more intense. He hunts you down like a wild animal, treating you like you're his close buddy/lover... Only to kill you, apologizing for the action and promising he'll make things all better in the end.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Messy. This is a Genocide timeline, after all. Sans has learned to adapt and is often volatile. This includes when he's around his obsession.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Unfortunately, kidnapping doesn't come across Sans' mind in this AU. He's so focused on gaining levels and is so tormented at seeing his obsession die to The Human that he'd end up killing them instead. He's tried kidnapping in at least one timeline, though. He's tried to protect you, even if you hated him, but it always ends the same.

He wouldn't mock you, in fact when he thought the idea could work he wanted to protect and care for you... but now it just seems like a pointless idea.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

At first he doesn't want to, but eventually he learns he may have to if he wants his happy ending with you and those he loves.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Sans used to express his love for you openly, he used to be very loving like Classic Sans. However, when he was forced to watch you suffer... he couldn't bring himself to be so open and happy with you anymore. Nowadays he comes off as cold and crazy.

Always chasing an ending he may never reach.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He expects it, part of him feels upset... part of him feels joy... but in the end he wants things over with quickly.

He promises he'll make your death quick, he'll do this as many times as he needs to, he'll get you both a happy ending eventually.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No and he hates it... but he can't blame you.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

You never remember it, but it's no doubt the betrayal of Sans killing you... perhaps it's a blessing that you don't remember it... but it's a curse to Sans...

He's the one who has to kill you over and over and remember it, every RESET.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Eventually he wants to have a happy ending in a "Pacifist-like" timeline. He wants to spend that timeline with you... no longer dealing with the human... just you and him once again.

He hopes you'll forgive him for his sins... it hurts him to think of your countless deaths.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

This issue with this Sans is he doesn't have time to feel jealous. Perhaps at one point he'd playfully get jealous with you, seeming moody but eventually making up. Now? If he ever got jealous he could probably just kill them anyways.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Obsessive, Observing, Sadistic, Delusional, Manipulative, Volatile, and a little Caring... but such a trait has changed throughout the routes.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Originally, Sans would've probably had a healthy relationship with you in the past. Be that as friends in some routes, or lovers in others, you two originally got along fine.

However, when the Genocide Routes started, he kept getting worse. These routes sparked paranoia, delusion, and an overwhelming need to protect you. However, such feelings only got worse throughout the routes.

His obsession hits its peak when he realizes the only way to save his obsession is to kill them to be strong enough to defeat the human.

But... who knows if he'll even be successful in that?

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Eventually, no.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Originally he stuck with isolation, restraints, caging you in bones... but soon punishment is the least of his worries.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Originally, none. But now you could argue that he'd take nearly all.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

I'd say he is patient to an extent. He originally was very understanding and patient... yet now he's a much different monster than he was before.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He's seen it hundreds of times at this point, at some point he feels a bit numb... but deep down it still hurts and he wants to move on so bad.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

When he still attempted it, yes, he felt guilty but knew he couldn't let you go.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

The trauma of the Genocide Loop.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Part of him still feels horrible about it, but he tells himself it's "just one more time" and continues his actions. He loves you... but it must be done.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

SKIPPED

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Unless you also want to attempt a Genocide Route or kill The Human... there isn't one I can think of.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Unfortunately, yes. Even if he hates it.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Not a worship yandere. But... he clearly really wants to give you both a happy ending, even at the cost of your own demise.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He doesn't really pine.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Honestly, he's more broken than you but he'd break his darling in both ways.

#yandere undertale au #yandere underverse #yandere dusttale #yandere murder sans #yandere dust sans

[gilly-bean]

8 shows to get to know me

Thanks @kyr-kun-chan for the tag it took me some time trying to really think these through but this was a lot of fun!

1. A tale of thousand stars

Atots has to be on this list because it was the first BL that I really really loved and the first thing that got me commenting and not just lurking on this hellsite. There was something really moving about this show, how tender and careful the love was, how fulfilling Tian's journey to self-discovery was- I'd never seen anything quite like it before. This is also why Earth and Mix will forever be one of my favorite pairings ever and I will watch them on anything.

2. I told sunset about you

I told sunset about you was like a transforming experience to me. It's hard to capture it now but watching it the first time I felt like I was a teenager again, I felt those same butterflies, the same anxiety, the same shitty feelings you feel when it's difficult cos you're in love but you don't really understand it and it makes everything awful and beautiful. Itsay made me write and actually post my writing on ao3 for the first time ever that's how much it meant to me.

3. Bad Buddy

I love Bad Buddy, I was obsessed with Bad Buddy, I did nothing else but think about what was going to happen on Bad Buddy for 12 weeks when it was airing, I wrote like a 35k long fantasy au fic about Bad Buddy cos I was so obsessed with it. But what makes Bad Buddy so important to me is the friends I made along the way while watching it- the clown server was my first proper fandom experience and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

4. Last of Us 

The one thing you should know about me is the fact that nothing gets me going like stories about familial love. If I'm not watching the gays falling in love in a million different ways, I'm watching a show about family. Which is why Last of Us has to be here. Not only is it genuinely a brilliant show, it has all the things I love in it- horror, queer love, a parent destroying the world for their child- yeah I'm all in. And the games were fucking awesome.

5. Succession

Succession is on this list to demonstrate how much I love shows about families. If the Last Of Us is about the lenghts you would go to protect those you love, I think Succession is the opposite- it's about how far you can go in destroying the people you love, how much damage you can do precisely because you love. The characters are all genuinely terrible people and yet they make me feel things cos it's family and family fucks you up. Also it's incredibly funny. Mostly it's incredibly funny. The only thing funnier than the show is Jeremy Strong saying that it's not a comedy.

6. Shameless US

Shameless has to be here because of how much Mickey and Ian meant to me. I think they were the first proper canon queer couple on a show that I actual liked. Season 4 and 5 remain legendary. Mickey still owns the best coming out scene in tv history. And Shameless fundamentally was about family and the relationships between all the siblings were so dear to me. It all felt so familiar and comforting despite no because of the chaos.

7. SKAM 

SKAM has to be here since I truly do not know another series that occupied my brain quite like this one. Not only were the stories so good, the format where clips and texts and photos could drop at any minute made me insane. I was Isak staying up all night. I was him waiting for that text or celebrating that picture that let me know everything was alright. That feeling can't be recreated but I'm so grateful I got to be there for it. Once in a lifetime.

8. Moomins

This is really hard. There's so many shows I love so much but it's really difficult to think what would say the most about me, what has had the most meaning. I ended up choosing the Moomins because that was my favorite series when growing up and it still kinda is. Those silly little characters embody to me what it's like being Finnish and the wave of nostalgia I get from it has everything to do with the sense of place it has. Moomins are home to me.

That was legit so fun. I'm tagging wifeys @elnotwoods and @liyazaki just because I really need to know what those shows are for you even though we've talked about it a lot. No pressure but you know 🥹🙏

#tag game #thai bl #atots #itsay #bad buddy #succession #tlou #shameless us #skam #moomins