#This fic is altered my brain chemistry haha

[keferon]

……..so there’s that fic I was speedreading for the last two days haha...

Streetwise looked between all the occupants, getting a read on them. He quite liked his ability for gauging his first impressions of them – it was extremely entertaining figuring out who was all bark and who had the bite to back it up in an easy to read scale that ran from white, through to blue, green, and yellow, before flowing into oranges, reds, purples and black – although he’d only ever seen black once, and that was Optimus Prime. So. To be expected, honestly.

The engineers were pretty standard, the coloured halo around their helms shades of warm yellow and green. The head of Special Operations was purple – as expected. Streetwise looked to Prowl, expecting it to be blue, green at most.

Black.

It was black.

Now..I know all this sounds pretty dark, but trust me, this fic is cute and funny and I love it~

#transformers #maccadam #prowl #streetwise #This fic is altered my brain chemistry haha #tf prowl #tf streetwise #Prowl actually being a nice person #I feel like I should mention that #He is absolutely crazy powerful yes #but he cares and worries and helps #I guess it's like...him but pre war? #anyway this was a lot of fun and a lot of words #this fic is unfinished but I enjoyed it even without knowing all the plot answers 👍 #fic fanart #the judge #animatic

[gallapiech]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @ian-galagher!

By the time I'm posting this it's almost over... BUT I HOPE YOU HAD AN AWESOME DAY!

I just wanted to say that your Africa fic has altered the chemistry in my brain and I will never be the same again. Reading it has been such an amazing, wonderful experience and I am so happy & so honored that I got to meet the person behind those written words!!

I also wanted to just say that I am very grateful for how welcome you made me feel in the ficclub server!! Having someone I can relate to (haha heuuyyy kaaskoppen ofzo) really made me feel more at ease!! I wouldn't have been able to connect with so many amazing people (u included) if it weren't for you! 🧡

#quick doodle #my art #gallavich #shameless au #HAPPY BIRTHDAAAYYY!!!!!

[the-mad-starker]

Hey, do you remember that one fic you wrote in 2019? ABO/Incest starker? The one where Tony goes "I'm gonna knock you up with your own siblings"? Yeah, so. That was basically a punch to my serotonin supply. Apparently that permanently altered my brain chemistry, because it's been five years and it's still my one, major fetish. I guess what I wanna say is never underestemate the impact you have on others. Im gonna remember you 50 years from now (positively). Anyways, thank you for writing. Glad to see you're still around. Love you<3

Thank you so much for this, anon 🥺 My mental state has just kinda been everywhere and I'm not writing as much as I wish I was. I can't explain how much reading something like this really helps and I really appreciate you taking the time to send this sweet message.

It's also a reminder that I should include more dirty talk like that in my smut too haha 😱

No, but seriously, thank you! I'ma screenshot this and keep it in a lil virtual treasure box for rainy days 💗💗💗

#lovey dovey mads #me being all squishy cause someone liked my smut #sweet anons #my shiny rocks #gonna keep it forever #nff #i ugly cried over this

[joelsgreys]

ohemgee!?!? i just binge-read a safe haven last night and i can say with full confidence it's one of the best fics i've read lately. i devoured the whole thing in one sitting and it quite literally altered my brain chemistry. the way you wrote peach and joel's relationship had me sobbing into my pillow at 3am, wishing life had been kinder to both of them and that luke would get jumped.

srsly tho, you're an incredible writer and i can't wait to see what you have in store for the remainder of the fic <333

omg anon the way you just made my night with this ask 🥹 if I could hug you right now I would! this means a lot to me, I don’t think I can even explain how much so.

these babies have my whole heart. even through all the ups and downs I’ve been going through with writing over the last few months, I still have a lot of love for this series and for Peach and Joel. to know other people have love for them too helps keep me going. and people’s hatred for Luke also helps keep me going ngl haha.

thank you so much for reading! 🤍

#vee answers #fic: a safe haven

[yinyuedijun]

HI MAO!! LeeHi anon here! I just read your fic ohmygod I am so !!!!!!! I've always been so interested in how languages are tied to a person's identity and emotions, and for you to write a fic that revolves around languages. I never knew I needed this aaaaaa

I love love love LOVE how you tie language with identity and write about the power of language on someone's emotions. Your whole fic reminds me very deeply of that one article by li yuyun on language that I carved into my brain. And gosh the ending!! I'm so sorry if this was not what you intended to convey, but to me, the whole time it felt like Aventurine was being unfair to reader, especially with how vulnerable reader is to Aventurine. Until you revealed what reader has done on their end and suddenly it felt like reader was being unfair to Aventurine who was vulnerable in his own way too. I'm screaming into the void rn, my brain chemistry altered when I read the ending. It's like a blindfold getting ripped away from my eyes with no warning.

Also it has been a while and I'm on tumblr on and off now because I'm still a little caught up with school assignments (but ur fic makes me want to launch into a new writing project despite them HAHA), I hope you have been well and the move to your new blog has been good to you <3

-LeeHi anon

LEEHI ANON.... my darling my beloved I hope you've been well 💗💗💗 I too have also always been fascinated by this exact aspect of language, the fact that I find it shapes our thoughts and interpretation of context. I am so glad you feel I did the topic justice!! I wasn't familiar with the li yiyun essay but if it's the one in that link, then I'm floored that my lil fic reminded you of it?!!! this paragraph was a gut punch:

Over the years, my brain has banished Chinese. I dream in English. I talk to myself in English. And memories—not only those about America but also those about China; not only those carried with me but also those archived with the wish to forget—are sorted in English. To be orphaned from my native language felt, and still feels, like a crucial decision.

LIKE ... ME TOO GIRL I GET IT. so interesting to hear about other bilingual speakers' experiences with dreaming and memory sorting and talking/thinking in specific languages. if I could go back in time and polish the aven fic a lil more I would definitely have drilled down on the thinking piece!

ALSO I AM SO SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED THE ENDING !!! you are interpreting it exactly correctly - they are mutually exploiting each other's vulnerabilities and I'm glad that twist w the reader hit 😎 thank you for sharing your thoughts there!!!It made me so happy !

AND THANK YOU ! I hope that school and life are treating you kindly beloved! take care!! <3 MWAH

#asks.leehi anon #yueshuo.asks #aven.feedback

[strayngesparkyds]

I still sometimes do my best to remember how that "Chan buying a house" fic went. That one was how I first discovered you and it quite literally altered my brain chemistry everytime I read it, it was just that good :) <333

Oh my i personally love that fic too haha i just really love the idea of chan being such a gentleman and just is head over heels over his partner that he gets all hot and bothered and just spoils them- hehe i shall stop there but thank you so so much for remembering the fic. Means a lot to me!

[celestie0]

Hey Ellie! Is it just me or is it normal to start reading a story with a fear that the author might abandon it?

hi my dear!! i hope this isn't referring to any of my fics LMFAOO pls have faith in me pookie

but no i think that's totally valid haha. omgg back when i was a kpop stan there was this one fic that me n my friend were obsessed w like it literally devastated us and tbh permanently altered my brain chemistry and changed the trajectory of our lives but then the author never updated again DSKJFHSKDHF can u believe that to this day i still check for updates occasionally?? :''') it's been...nine years i think hahah.

i think that's a valid fear! but obv it's up to you. i just prefer to read series over oneshots, so i'm okay with taking the L of a series not being completed bc i'd still rather read a series over something shorter. but if you're struggling w that fear, then maybe sticking to more oneshot or limited series type content might be better? sometimes never starting a fic n living in blissful ignorance is better than starting it and being obsessed w it and then the author never finishes it. me personally i like to live life on the edge (jk im like the safest person you'll ever meet) BUT i'd still take my chances w a fic if i found it enticing

#ellie [speaks] #anon #asks

[nerdflowo]

considering having a flukeseeker cameo thing in a hk fic im writing help. you have altered my brain chemistry. Im literally tarnished by an idea instilled and its flukeseeker gabhjfakdsruhegjksdg <3

Haha holy shit yess get tarnished

Btw I want to be informed about any and all flukeseeker content so I can see it

#ask

[shivunin]

gently tosses you Fenris and Sebastian for the character meme

Carefully catches them both, but Fenris is kinda prickly and I fumble him a lil bit.

(Thank you for asking! c:)

(Character Ask thing)

Fenris

First impression: oh fuck did he just rip that dude's heart out through his back 😳(i am absolutely projecting this reaction onto Maria haha)

Impression now: I mean. there's no going back at this point lol. Dude altered my brain chemistry permanently. He is an asshole, he is deeply flawed, he is so hurt and angry and funny and so shockingly poetic. He is gorgeous and so unsure about anyone caring about him (platonically or romantically). He is loyal to a fault. He is still figuring out how to be his own person. He's the reason I got back into reading fic, and thus the reason I started writing fic and participating in the fandom at all. I don't even know what my opinion is anymore because that is how much I have thought about Fenris. I am rotating him in my mind at shocking speeds.

Favorite moment: It's a tie between the moment after he rips out Danarius's heart and turns to look at Hawke like 🥺-and- his final monologue. I also think his conversation w the mabari is really sweet. Or lol his "I was just glad. To see you. That's all." from the Legacy DLC

Idea for a story: *gestures to fic idea mountain* haha. But as for ones I have not written, my favorites are my "worst road trip with my future sister-in-law ever/fenris gets kidnapped" story (which i am writing very slowly rn) and one where there's some sort of double of Hawke and he has to determine which is the real her (I love this trope)

Unpopular opinion: Oh man. I have no idea. I guess that I enjoy the Bitter Pill -> Questioning Beliefs quest order version of the romance scene, but I also like the other one. There are painful pieces to both of them and that's what it's all about for me.

Favorite relationship: Fenris and Isabela. I love that they're constantly needling each other.

Favorite headcanon: The bodies in his foyer are practice dummies dressed in robes.

As funny as "Fenris lives in a literal mansion of corpses is," that level of squalor does, in fact, make you sick. Also...after six years, there are no signs of decomposition? With how many rats are sure to live in Kirkwall? I don't think so.

I like to imagine someone broke in at some point, saw the corpses on the floor, said "oh, no thank you, actually" and dipped, and Fenris went "Hmm. Now wait a moment, maybe I'm onto something."

So: that's my headcanon. The bodies are fake and he lets everyone think they're real/everyone jokes that they're real because it's a good bit. Now, does he leave his bedroom a hot hot mess always just because? Yes. But I think the bodies are fake.

Sebastian

*With the caveat that I have only started one pt with Sebastian because my console hates me (has to be plugged into an internet port directly to run the Exiled Prince DLC and there isn't one in the room with the TV) and most of my initial information was based on the fandom:

First impression: Ah, he must be the designated Religious Character for this game as a counterpoint to the dude who hates the Chantry. Got it.

Impression now: I am shaking him in a jar. He is such a wild study in contrasts?? When you do the quest in the Hahriman's mansion and one of the dudes is getting with the maid and Sebastian apologizes to Hawke for exposing them to it---I said "Excuse me, sir???" out loud. Like what? In a ~dark fantasy~ game, this guy is apologizing for you seeing some slap and tickle?

I think he wants so badly to believe that the world is black and white so he can do the right thing, and when confronted with all its variegations instead he creates exceptions. Lots of other characters do this, too (see: Fenris and Hawke/Bethany being "good" mages because they are stronger than the others and thus not tempted by demons/blood magic) but I think Sebastian particularly plays in the grey spaces in an interesting way.

Also, I think the running theme of him wanting vengeance/wanting to not want vengeance is fascinating in the light of that final scene at the Chantry. He's talked about trying to forgive before, but when it comes down to it he wants to kill Anders or march on Kirkwall if you won't let him. That is fascinating to me. I do really want to finish this playthrough with him so I can see the rest of it play out, but...we will get there.

Also, I think it's a bummer that he frequently gets left out of companion round-ups and lists. I get that he comes from a DLC, but love him or hate him he's a really interesting character in 2.

Favorite moment: I don't have a favorite, but anytime he's talking tbh. He has a really lovely voice

Idea for a story: I have a half-written thing about Sebastian and the role that faith plays in Hawke recovering from Leandra's death. A lot of it is coming to terms with the fact that Hawke doesn't really believe in Chantry doctrine...but it does genuinely help her to know that someone who shared Leandra's faith is praying for her in the way she would have wanted. He also does the service for Leandra even though Elthina offered (it was like. the only thing Hawke asked for: Sebastian has to do the service).

(A lot of this is inspired by the fact that he is one of the few companions who has lost his parents---not "never knew them" or "hated them and now they're gone" but actually lost them, complicated as their relationship was. And I think it's something that would help her in that moment)

Unpopular opinion: I liked bringing him on Anders' act 2 quest. Not only because of my own internal narrative (Maria asks Sebastian to kill her if it seems like the templars will take her because she is terrified of being made Tranquil and because she knows he'll do it if she can make him promise; all of which I find delightfully angsty) but because I think the conflict between Anders and Sebastian is exceptionally interesting if you've taken them on this quest together.

Favorite relationship: Sebastian and Fenris. I think they each challenge each other's ideas about the world and I like the way Sebastian treats Fenris. It feels nonjudgmental to me.

Favorite headcanon: Sebastian wanders Lowtown trying to help people in his off time. I refuse to believe that he actually hangs out in the Chantry all the time, and it seems like something he would find noble. I like to believe he spends time with the refugees after befriending Hawke, trying to connect them with the resources they need to find stability.

#Thank you for asking!! #i have more sebastian thoughts than i realized sdakjnf #sebastian fascinates me i was not joking about shaking him in a jar #ask response #ask game response #but here's what happened re: fenris #started reading ship fic with him because the game wasn't satisfying enough -> found damn good fic -> #romanced cullen in inquisition -> could not find fic i wanted to read -> guess i'll have to write it myself #(but haha i will never write fic for fenris that would be silly; look at all the good stuff that already exists! what more could *i* say?) #-> so much fic. so much. -> okay maybe i will just write a little bit of 2 fic -> now (gestures to fic pile) #anyways. i love him and i can't romance anyone else in 2 no matter how hard i try

[noweakergirl]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love

My first ever fic that I started working on when I was in high school was dedicated to Lydia/Allison (Teen Wolf). But since I wasn't too satisfied with the results + my English back then was still lacking, I ditched it. I loved the title though, "Here Comes The Sun", and it was supposed to be wlw fluff!

After that I got the idea for Malia/Kira enemies to lovers fic which I never even started.

So I can say that my only proper fanfic is "the winds of autumn", which was loosely inspired by the book Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson! We're gonna ignore the fact it's been on pause since 2018 haha. But I AM proud of it, and if anyone wants to give it a try, I'd be soooo happy! It's short and has lot of autumn descriptions + faeries. I think you can read it even if you're not into BTS (meaning: I'd cry of happiness if someone read my work). 🍂🍎🎃🍁

Now, since I don't have much to share yet when it comes to my own fanfics, I'd like to give a huge shoutout to some of my favorite fics/authors:

(all that you ever wanted from me was) Sweet Nothing by @harryissuchalittleshit was the first fanfic I ever read by Becky, and it was sooooooo fluffy and Sweet, honestly I live for simple-day-to-day Jily. I remember also loving the way song itself was intertwined with the story. Giggling and kicking my feet at the simplicity of their lives BUT also feeling heartache over the last few paragraphs. "At least they had one last day of sweet nothings, one last day of the three of them together." THERAPY.

Twist and Shout by gabriel, standbyme: not only was this the first fanfic I read (and what basically got me into fanfiction), but it got me bawling my eyes out at McDonalds. Destiel masterpiece.

The Life and Times by Jewels5: Jily bible, what to say more? Jewels5 is my president <3

An Ode to Boys of Salt and Blood by jeong4vr: altered my brain chemistry and made me believe I was Greek mythology girlie for a while. I didn't read Song of Achilles first, so when I finally got to the original work years later it didn't feel as good as this fanfic, sorry

#thanks for sending me ask! #shoutout to some of my fave fics and authors #and talking about my small cozy autumn faerie fic

[oswlld]

Eight (8) Shows to Get to Know Me

tagged by @talays-portkey ♥ ty for tagging me and having me walk down memory lane for the past few days (spent too much time in all the tags microdosing on my upbringing)

DISCLAIMER: i wanted to showcase defining eras in my life/made an impact in a substantial way; i’m also recommending an ep to watch with each one, which isn’t part of the tag format but imma do it

--

i. LOST (2004-2010)

this was my whole world for my entire hs existence and into my early college years. half of the shows listed here stems from my first love of the ensemble cast, their interwoven yet clandestine storylines, and the mystery box. at my first sdcc, half of the cast was present when they debuted p1 of the series finale (you’d think i was dead the whole time fksfsk;lv)

the jessi special: The Constant (04x05)

ii. Fringe (2008-2013)

yes, i faithfully followed jj abrams into another insane show. i think it actually altered my brain chemistry, rewired something in me, devoured a piece of me. once LOST was over and Fringe brought in the alternate universe, i dove in head first and never resurfaced

the jessi special: Making Angels (04x11)

iii. Doctor Who (2005-Present)

i think it was technically winter 2010 when i started binging this show because s6 was my first time catching it live (was young and naïve, i caught it on bbca lol) ive been on hellsite for almost two years at the time and fully became a fandom blog, so it was inevitable i would love this series. i think it was the first show i made gifs/edits for???

the jessi special: The Doctor’s Wife (06x04)

iv. Lizzie Bennet Diaries (2012-2013)

oh look, my dna makeup shifts again. i actually started watching this show the week leading up to Darcy Day and can still vividly remember the migraines from binging 8-10min eps times 60ish worth of content. this show got me into writing my first fic, running an rp blog, creating instrumental playlists, making a DWxLBD blog, AND eventually flying my ass back to CA to meet the cast and beloved mutuals at VidCon

the jessi special: A New Buddy (ep56)

v. Orphan Black (2013-2017)

happy international women’s day to this show and this show only! i think of all the shows listed here, this is the first time since LOST i caught all the eps in real time from the very beginning. this was filling the hole Fringe was about to carve deep in me. but if you cut me open, you will find the beth-shaped hole that nothing/no one has been able to fill and likely will never fill til the end of time

the jessi special: The Collapse of Nature (04x01)

vi. Shadowhunters (2016-2019)

im willing to admit that the reason i got into this show was because of the wedding kiss haha i saw the clip, signed the adoption papers on the spot, and went on to write a 100K+ wip series. admittedly, i confess that this was a DNF and never finished the last season... i abandoned my boy.gif

the jessi special: Of Men and Angels (01x06)

vii. Sense8 (2015-2018)

a show about eight children than i gave birth to, that i raised on my own, that i will defend on my death bed and beyond??? that show sense8?? yes that show sense8. fun fact, when they did the screening of the finale in Chicago, the cast ended up sitting three rows behind me in the theater and i could hear them talking in between scenes the entire evening. wish i could bottle that feeling up

the jessi special: I Have No Room in My Heart for Hate (02x07)

viii. Bad Buddy (2021-2022)

and we finally made it to the current decade! its nov 2021, im fresh off leaving my previous job and still getting situated in my new position, yet this show was a siren calling to me in the dark mist of my life. i ended up saving the binge watching for the week of my bday and my whole life shifted again. it must have been so alarming on the outside, seeing me go from making 1-2 edits a month to 1-2 edits a day for almost THREE MONTHS. the fact that i still cont to avg two edits/week since then... oy lol

the jessi special: Ep10 (shocked pikachu.jpg)

and ill also throw some honorable mentions too: Chuck, The Good Place, Vice Versa, Twenty Five Twenty One, Once Upon a Time, and Elementary

--

now tagging @pranink, @icouldhyperfixatehim, @noxclara, @curious-earth (no pressure tho!)

#tag meme #tagged #this is jessi #i am a tree and these are the most defined rings #the ones people would study and say 'tf happened in this era' #now i feel obligated to make an edit for fringe #its the only show of the eight listed that i have never made something for #made a few LOST edits maybe two remakes ago #theres still some LBD edits in the archive tag #now all the new mutuals since bad buddy ended know me on a molecular level

[mantasunray-art]

Good morning :]

Do you have a moment that made you start shipping dnf for real? Like one specific thing that really made you go. Oh. These guys are dating. Holy shit.

Besides that, are there any moments, underrated or not, that made you feel absolutely insane for having witnessed them? I feel like mine in that respect is maybe the dnf kiss snap. And the fact some people still say "haha dnf could kiss, then I'd believe it" ... they already have ??? That just makes me feel like I'm hallucinating 😭😭. Anyway I hope ur having a really good day :> - 🐛

morning! well i've been watching them since 2019 so i don't really know when i started shipping. like in 2020 i was mostly a youtube fan so i didn't really watch streams and relies on space croissant compilations. so probably my shipping started there lmao. from july 2020 i have a dnf drawing that is basically george teasing dream for being shorter sooooo. but yeah then october that year i started reading fics and became crazy forever. the quiz in 2021 made it actually think there was Something there and as to think dnf is actually real i avoided thinking about it too hard until like the middle of this year cause i joined privtwt and realized that being crazy and truthing is okay lol

to me one moment that was completely insane and that altered my brain chemistry forever is the kiss snap like u said and when the drep dropped and i listened to paranoid and spotlight for the first time. i don't think i've been this crazy since the "am i in love with my best friend" quiz and i'm serious. like windows tinted so they can't see they don't need evidence isn't it evident play together till the credits roll make a scene it's your set IT'S ALL SO FUCKING COMPLETELY CRAZY TO MEEEE

#ask bea #can i tag u as worm anon #worm anon tag #i know it's a caterpillar #but worm is funnier #and shorter to type

[jjackfrost]

genuinely no better feeling than deciding to read something on a whim, only for it to completely alter your brain chemistry in ways you are unprepared for. i finished otnwas in 4 days because i literally couldn’t put it down i was severely suffering from just-one-more-chapter syndrome (and honestly how could i not with those cliffhangers) and have been re-reading my favorite parts over and over the past month. i can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful my experience has been, i love it so so so so much. i really felt like i time-travelled too because the way the hours were whizzing so quickly… what do you mean i was reading for 15 hours straight ??????

i’ve been stewing on how to properly convey the feelings i had for this story, only because it felt so much bigger than me that i struggled to find the words. otnwas has made a permanent home in my heart. thank you for bringing back the whimsy and magic i felt at 13 when i first watched these movies and fell in love with its characters.

the heartwarming brotherly relationship of jack and jamie, the slay of the century that was your majesty the snow queen, the rtte references!!, blizzard of 68 angst (how dare u..) the comedy, the chemistry, the MAGIC, the lore, the sweet and gradual romance between hiccup and jack (the slowest burn in history i was crying and shaking and ripping my hair out at the reveal) - seriously the rollercoaster of emotions i went through !!!!!!!!! giggling, kicking my legs, screaming, throwing up like the whole works ,, just unmatched.. i’m a mess i’ll be spending the rest of my days searching for the high that i had when i read this for the first time i’m so serious....

an enormous thank you for writing and sharing it with the world (and also for bringing me back into the hijack community) i’ll end this with my favorite quote ever from otnwas, though i have many but this is my top:

“it makes me wonder what time really is. if it’s linear, or if each moment exists in its own present… because then maybe a part of us will always be here… and this moment won’t ever end. even when we’ve moved on, i’ll know that there is still a jack and hiccup somewhere in the universe, existing just like this forever.”

wishing you lovely days ahead :)🌷🤍🌟❄🌙

MAN THANK YOU SO MUCH this was so nice to read 🥹🥹🥹 15 hours straight is actually kinda crazy, are you okay?

im glad theres so much in there you enjoyed (maybe especially snow, since i always feel a bit self conscious about including oc’s in fics. yet it keeps happening lol) and like ive said, ive been enjoying reading your posts about the fic 😆 the most fulfilling thing is to see it being talked about without me being part of the conversation haha

ALSO so happy you enjoyed that part specifically, because it is also one of my favorite scenes :’)

#THANKS FOR THE LONG ASK #although i always feel a bit bad that my responses arent equally as long agdjfkdkg #otnwas

[archangelmacaron]

Boring musings

Rereading all the karonoe ao3 has to offer and I found a fic I haven't read before and I'm feeling FERAL over it. I gotta write more fic myself, bit I really wanna read more 😭

Why have they irrecoverably altered my brain chemistry and yet I feel like I gotta play it cool and be like haha I like them a normal amount...

I do feel like a few people that know me irl assume my OCs are like, mirrors to Caron and Noel because I like them so much, and although the same concept of a human devil relationship inspired me, that's absolutely not the case!

D & Caron are probably the most alike. They even look a bit alike—the spiky 'hair' (the dark skin is actually from Teacher from Girl From the Other Side) and have a similar job, although to D it literally IS just a job and very unlike Caron, it's not one he takes particular pride in. Holly and D's contract is also settled immediately, there's no real question of what the cost will be.

Holly is extremely traumatized and that's something that deeply affects her as a character and all of her actions, whereas Noel has a very strong sense of self and only has a few incidents that seem like PTSD. Holly also doesn't have a revenge motivation (although seriously, girl, you are so entitled to one!!)

Evelyn and Az I don't think have much in common at all—except the exact same height gap (I did not plan this!) Evelyn is motivated by a desire to no longer feel helpless and then, once she's secure in her new self, a desire to understand Az. (This will be difficult but I believe in you, Evelyn!)

Caron is relatively well adjusted despite everything with his past. Az has *Issues* from his past (and let's leave it at that for now, they will be explained!) He is motivated by a deep love for his family, and later Evelyn, although he doesn't let himself recognize it. They do both seem to share a want to show their partners 'a beautiful life,' but the meaning of that is very different!

Not to mention that canonically Noel & Caron grow to deeply care about each other in a way so unique to their intriguing story, but I'm writing straight up romances between adults with adult problems that are nowhere near as action packed and inspired by many other things too LOL

In Short: very different and I hate that people make that assumption so I think they're reading it (unless they already gave up) through that lens. Like y'all, I am hyperfixated but I write fanfic!! I don't need to make shadow versions of OCs (though frankly i do not judge people that do!!)

I'm just rambling because the darn cicadas (or whatever the screeching insects are) are keeping me awake. Let me rest, cursed bugs!!!

#macaron musings

[elytrafemme]

mhm, i’m glad you decided to explore their pairing. it’s genuinely such a comforting one, and i’m so sure i’ll read it many more times in the future :] i wanted to maybe write something of them myself, but i haven’t written anything in so long i think it would be quite embarrassing lol.

i hope you do get back into writing things soon, i adore reading your work. it’s some of the best i’ve ever read, truthfully. something about it reworks my entire brain chemistry every time i read something of yours. it’s honestly magic, mare, haha

oh, also, if you remember the cs!ranboo rp blog i made, turns out that was actually an alter in our system… so we have a cs!ranboo. sorry if that like weirds you out or anything, i just thought i should explain what happened with it. sorry about it as well, like where it turned out to be an alter instead of something for the cough syrup community. she’ll still probably answer asks and such once his blog is up and running like an actual blog for our alters. i need to get on that actually. maybe i’ll work on that tonight. the user is still the same, but feel free to unfollow it if it makes you uncomfortable! i totally get it if it does :] /gen

yeah!!! unfortunately I'm not as into OSMP anymore just by proxy of me getting really really into ace attorney and maintaining that thread of interest with cough syrup solely, but i do have thoughts about the origins characters i could share if ever prompted. i used to have a fic that was going to be o!ranboo centric in a more modern setting and there were a LOT of very extensive and debatably generous headcanons in there that i still am quite fond of.

THAT'S SO FUCKING SWEET WHAT THE HELL... that means the absolute world to me :( i got really into writing poetry lately which is still good but! dammit i miss prose. wrote a little thing last night for ace attorney and that made me feel good but like... uagh especially with cough syrup its like. these characters feel like living breathing people i can blueprint in my head and writing their world was like. a very cathartic thing for me i think. writing is extremely extremely healing and i think i'm ready to return to prose, writing less about myself and more about others as a way to explore myself. does that make sense?

NONONO YOU'RE TOTALLY OKAY!!!! YOU DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE FRIEND i appreciate your transparency but i absolutely do not mind at all. at this point i'm now aware of like... three? two? three? alters that are fictives from the cough syrup universe in different systems. and that's all totally fine with me i have fictives of my own so like, yeah you're all good. and you don't need to worry about like doing something 'for the community' or anything-- ppl just engaging and talking about my fic already means the world to me and making content for it is just so so so fucking crazy and wonderful and amazing and mindblowing to me but you don't have to feel compelled to like. do that. i mean hell im arguably the pioneer of the cs community and god knows im not creating anything for it rn 😭 btw let your alter know that i hope hes doing well and that i say hi! i will keep following her but if SHE'S ever uncomfortable she can always lmk <3

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.cough-syrup #<- i guess i will tag this bc i think the note about community creation is important #like people are so fucking kind to my fic and the art has been mindblowingly amazing but DO NOT FEEL PRESSURED TO DO THAT #you're so so sweet and very awesome i hope ur doing great #nightmare.fave

[subskz]

missus rin,,,, that hyunjin fic,,,

YOU ONCE AGAIN GOT ME FEELING LIKE A WILD CHIMPANZEE HNGGG istg what do you put in yr writing that makes it hit like a fucken 18 wheeler everytime 😮‍💨😮‍💨 deffo get why catboyanon said it altered ha brain chemistry bcuz?!?!? the part where hyunjinnie is begging to breed y/n?!?!? and the way you describe him,,, i fr saw his sweaty gorgeous face saur clearly YR SICK ACTUALLY

ANOTHER BANGER WHOSE SURPRISED NOT ME!!! ily queen 🧎🏽‍♀️🧎🏽‍♀️

PLEASE HAHA you always overwhelm me w love i don’t know how to handle it 😭😭😭 thank you so much my dear i’m really glad you enjoyed it!! i remember the request for “mine” was such a delicious concept so i had to try my best to do it justice hehe…seems puppy hyunjin activated smth in all of us <3

i know i say this every time but you really make my day w your messages 😭 thank you for being so sweet and supportive and unfairly funny ily right back angel!!

#ask #grindset #💌 #long post