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#This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks
shima-draws · 8 months
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Currently in my banging my head against the wall phase. Hope you all are well 🥰
#Doc told me to schedule another MRI on Tuesday. They said they sent the order over on Tuesday.#I call on Tuesday to schedule the appointment. They don't have the referral yet#I called yesterday to try and schedule. They STILL don't have the referral#I message my doc and make sure they actually sent it over to the right place. (They did.)#They say they'll fax it over again! Great!#I call AGAIN today. They STILL don't have the referral#Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me#The girl on the phone was like 'Oh yeah we're real busy we get orders all the time it must not have hit the system yet'#BRO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN IT. TEARING my hair out#I went to their website to try and schedule online. Guess what? THEIR GODDAMN SCHEDULING ASSISTANT IS DOWN FOR MAITENANCE#SCREAMS#Anyway yes so in my banging my head against the wall phase. I'm so tired#And still in pain! To nobody's surprise!!#They can't fix what's wrong with me if I can't even get in to get an MRI. Hello. PLEASE#This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks#I should've been in to see them like YESTERDAY.#My pain is so bad I had to stay at home today. And I go and ice my back every hour or so#Bc I can't sit down for more than 45 minutes without wanting to kill myself ;))))#Shima speaks#I'M SORRY I'm just so. I've been over this for months. And now that I'm THIS close to getting answers#I can't. Seem to get these people to schedule an appointment for me#Grinds my teeth
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I've been wanting to do this but I'll just do it all together :)
1. weight- 185, chest- 41.2, waist-34.0, hips-44.0, thighs- 28.0
2. 5'5, yes im totally okay with my height tbh
3. we have a very similar body type so i feel like it's the most realistic for me
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4. tbh just losing my dd boobs that's it.
5. im tired of being the big and ugly friend, i owe it to my young chubby self to finally be pretty.
6. define binge lol. to me if I eat normally i define that as binge. but tbh I don't think I actually binge idk.
7. yes they do, however they don't know how far I'm willing to go. but they don't. they're actually happy I am.
8. i would do cardio 3 times a week, and then do core 2 times a week, but now im doing chloe ting workouts so :))
9. 100% all the time, I've hears it ever since grade school tbh, and it's literally ruined who I am and my relationship with food.
10. i guess my love for baking, it's been really hard baking for my friends and family and not having the opportunity to have these things yk.
11. lol i don't have one hahaha.
12. hmm that's a good question, i usually stick to fruits i try to stay away from meat and dairy, however it's not always easy. but for a good day, I'll have my black coffee in the morning and then like a garden salad in the afternoon.
13. definitely unhealthy lmao, I will starve myself until I lose as much weight as I can.
14. 120lbs, it used to be 140 but that's how much my sis weighs and I wanna be smaller than her
15. I'm neither but I seriously am considering going vegetarian bc I didn't eat meat for 3 days and lost literally 7lbs so I just might.
16. I've always tried to lose weight, yk go on a diet, work out, however this year I realized I was going to go on vacation and I needed to look pretty for my pictures so I decided to go back to my old habits and I triggered my ed, it took some time like 2 months until eventually in the end of March I started thinking the same way once again. I would starve and calculate calories.
17. im not sure. I don't want to say yes since I'm not diagnosed, but I will say I have disordered eating 100%.
18. cheese. ik ppl are gonna scream, but I love it so much lol.
19. hmm actually a while back I think like a couple weeks ago maybe I month.
20. ballerina diet ahhh or maybe the iu diet.
21. triggered. lol I'm usually a L/XL for jeans I'm a 14. bra size is 38DD.
22. damn idk bruh, I remember when I used to be 160, that's the lowest number I can remember, that's when I started weighing myself and it ruined me. I don't remember gaining weight tbh, I think it was when I was recovering.
23. absolutely. growing up I watched eugenia a lot and i loved kpop in ms so I would always wonder what it would be like to be skinny like them.
24. uh i don't like them, but that's me personal. I'm not someone to encourage this illness to someone else.
25. yes. I've done it multiple times. my first time was at a party actually. I had eaten 3 slices of pizza and my stomach hurt rlly bad I had told my friend and she told me she'd find me laxatives or smth I told her no. so I hard searched up what to do and I found a reddit form about purging I did exactly that and threw up as much as I could. it was so bad I was crying bc I felt to bad but my stomach felt better. I think that's when I realized I could enjoy my food but also not consume calories.
26. CLOTHES. finally getting to wear what I want and look pretty no matter what. ugh I can't wait.
27. i try to slip into a mentality of like food isn't fuel it's trash, and it's gonna make you rot.
28. I'd love to, i want to lose as much thigh fat as possible I don't think i could think bc of my family genes
29. anything but me. I don't think beauty can be defined. to me beauty is a subjective what is beautiful to me is not beautiful to you.
30. im hispanic. i have curly hair. im bi. i have a gf. i like to bake. i can't swim. i have insomnia. i have social anxiety. i love kpop. coffee is my bsf.
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virgil-says-things · 1 year
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Jimmy letting Fiona sleep in and taking care of the others for her <3
also Frank's missing and Debbie's been keeping count of the days - how many is 137 in like. months? around 4 months
Carl coming outside and dropping Debbie's backpack on the ground, saying 'lunch' and just walking away made me smile 😭
AGH. DEBBIE KISSING FRANK'S PICTURE THAT SHE STUCK TO THE FENCE 😭
Frank's in Mexico 😭
Jimmy and Fiona's first argument of the season is about popsicles <3
Lip and Ian stole smth. don't know what yet. but. damn. 😭 Lip trying to punch one of the cops and missing was funny
'get ur ass up u goddamn, pony-tailed, Fabio motherfucker' 😭 Sheila really didn't hold back there
not Jody managing to stop the baby from crying (I forgot what they named him) and then immediately setting him off again by starting to sing 😭
Frank doesn't have his passport with him. and he's also carrying an egg around for some reason
'u look like u need a course of penicillin and a lice comb' WOW. (said to Frank) 'not letting u into this country so u can add to Texas' homeless population' rip Frank
'Kev doesn't even know what a vacuum is' (Veronica) 'sure I do' outer space' (Kev) he's so stupid I love him 😭
'couple act. master and slave.' oh my GOD. stop. wait Kevin's using crutches to move around did I miss smth???
'Jimmy doesn't really do anything' FIONA?? what the fuck?? he's helping u take care of ur 5 siblings AND it just cut to him mopping the floor??
'when was the last time u were with a guy longer than three weeks?' (Veronica, to Fiona) 'never.' (Kevin) KEVIN. NO. 😭 Fiona seemed so offended
why is Jimmy stealing Liam's food AND drink?? pls at least get ur own drink
OH. Estefania's dad. came for Jimmy because he doesn't know where Estefania is? listen I know this isn't the point of this scene at all but Jimmy left the door partially open when he went outside to go check out what the cars were all about and Liam's alone inside.
Debbie getting home from school and excitedly running inside expecting Frank to be home 💔
'he's not here :-(' (Debbie) 'no cookies.' (Carl) well. Carl has his priorities straight and I respect that - 'Jimmy didn't make any cookies' (Carl) I forgot about that whole situation between Jimmy and Estefania's dad for a second
holy shit. well. Marco's dead.
Sheila looks so tired :-(
Frank tried calling Sheila for help and Sheila just hung up on him which. fair actually that was after he said the word money I think she assumed he was gonna ask for money
they're cutting up Marco's body and stuff while Estefania scream sobs - some fucking father???
Fiona got fired because the boss' nephew needed a job.
'u up for a threesome?' Ned/Lloyd is back and still as gross as ever!! for context he's still sleeping with Ian and Ian was talking about Mickey returning in a couple of weeks
man. Estefania's dad is gonna fuck up Jimmy and Fiona's relationship again why can't he just find someone else to be Estefania's husband 😭
Lip won the robot fight thing and I've never been more satisfied I love seeing assholes get their egos crushed
Fiona managed to get another job by paying a thousand pounds but what about the property tax bill??
Debbie shoving Ian away from the table when he was gonna sit at Frank's place and going 'that's still daddy's' spot is so me actually
Frank finally got back home and just silently stood there as everyone else continued talking until Ian noticed him and went quiet and stared. just. causing a chain reaction of them all turning to look at Frank and going silent 😭 Debbie being the only one to actually speak to him just. running to him and hugging him and everyone else just. continuing their conversations 😭
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onlyseokmins · 1 year
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I can't wait for them to arrive (it takes so long in Europe) aww it's really not easy 😭 ohh that's really so so meravigliosa! As long as you're happy it's really good haha (because they make really happy) and of course, if you want to, i would love to see the pics! I tried to eat Yogurt and that's it 😔 ohh i can imagine 😭 i'm sending you energy. Haha he can do that easily so i can understand
I don't even have enough words for this 😩
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Oh I can imagine 😭 mine was stuck for a couple days as it is but haha so true to be happy w/ what I got! I sent the pics ❤️ ohhh yogurt is yummy, at least it's smth! Ty ty, hoping this week isn't too bad and I hope yours isn't as well and omg,,,,,,, I'm in love with their theme choice hahahaha it's so funny but so hot bc they all AMAZING. It really warms my heart to see them altogether enjoying themselves
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levinneheart · 4 years
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Never loved you
Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader (College AU)
Warning/s: Characters are 20+; slight IzuOcha ship; Fluff; Angst; implied Depression; may or may not been based on experience
And yes, the title is a Song by Evie Clair. You’re quirk is smth to do w/ Empath and it’s not hero material by norms.
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You never expect to encounter him. Out of all the people you could’ve met, you didn’t believe you that you could met him online out of all the places.
It started when you became friends with a group of talented singers and musicians as you also joined into the fun – abeit not as talented as them, you tried your best and put your all into it. Not long after that, you began knowing the group which consists of all the previous students of Class 1-A and some other students of UA and soon, Mina invited you to join their group as an “honorary member” as you lived in another country which you gladly accepted.
Sometimes, you would join the voice call and be overwhelmed by the amount of voices blasting in your earphone. Sometimes, you would listen silently as everyone talked over each other while Bakugou screamed and make small explosions that literally makes everyone deaf. Rip earphone users. You loved and treasured these moments with them, although you didn’t know what they looked like.
It wasn’t until he joined that made you the happiest. You were currently teasing Midoriya and Uraraka, saying they were cute crushing on each other, much to Uraraka’s denial and Midoriya’s stuttering. Chuckling, you continue with your impromptu storytelling of their love blossoming until both of them are beyond speechless. You decided to stop when Bakugou joined the conversation.
“Yo, Mina invited other damn extra!” he informed in his usual loud voice.
“Kaachan, you shouldn’t talk to Shinsou like that! He’s listening you know!” Midoriya scolded softly.
You checked and someone was listening in, they had a cat picture as a profile pic and you couldn’t helped but smack yourself in embarrassment as you didn’t noticed earlier while Bakugou and Midoriya beefed it out in the voice chat. You muted them, not wanting to hear they’re yelling of being the no. 1 hero.
“I agree with you btw.” chatted the one with cat pic. “It’s so obvious, it makes me roll my eyes that they remain oblivious to each other’s feelings.”
“IKR!” You typed back, forgetting your embarrassment.
“You’re not from UA, are you?”
“No. Actually, I’m just an honorary member as Mina says since I live miles away haha.”
“I see. I’m Shinsou, Shinsou Hitoshi btw.”
“(l/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!”
You didn’t know how it happened but you felt an instant connection to him and you two hitted it off from then. You two would always chat in your private message and it quickly became unnoticed by the others, they even started to ship is and make an official name for the ship. You played oblivious as did he, although both of you already know about it.
After two weeks, he called you bb and you couldn’t helped but blush before awkwardly telling him: you really really liked him. At first, he didn’t say anything so you were half-expecting him to reject you and that’ll be it. But surprised, he told you: he liked you back. However you both decided that it’s too early for a relationship so you two now have a peace of mind that at least the other feels the same way.
It was fun, interacting with him, sending him uwus and heart memes, etc. You learned that he’s working as a pro hero while you studied in university. You learned he’s a gamer who sings, plays the guitar and ukulele ngl i can honesty see this as canon. And he plays basketball and soccer just pretend sksksksksk.
You two would schedule voice calls as you both were busy, it would always play out as – you would come home late and wait for him to get out of work as you two chatted away before actually getting in the call once he’s home. You would usually ask about he’s day and about his job and he’d reply with his usual deep tired voice that you’ve grown to love curses my deep voice kink.
This went for two months. Until one night while you were staying up late studying, he chatted your name. This was the first time he called you by your real name, usually he would call you by your username or “bb” as usual so this sudden change set butterflies in your stomach.
“Yes, Toshi?” you replied before teasingly sent, “This is the 1st time you called me by my name haha.”
“I wanted to tell you something important so I thought it’d catch your attention.”
“Well, what is it?”
“I love you.”
Without thinking you typed, “I love you too.” and sent it before realizing what he meant. “Do you meant that as a friend?” You immediately sent.
“Do you want me to say that?”
You blushed hard, you can imagine him chuckling at your stupid question. “Uhhh no??? Idk??? You’re not joking, right??”
“I wouldn’t have said it, if I didn’t mean it.”
“Really?” You couldn’t believe it so you just had to ask.
“Yes.”
“Tell it to me again plz 🥺👉👈.”
“I love you, (y/n).”
“I love you too, Toshi.”
“In advance, I’m so sorry for being a weirdo.”
“But you’re my weirdo.”
Cue squealing. But after that, it went spiraling down. A month and a week went by without communication from him; no updates, no greetings, no nothing. You decided to confront him about your concerns. You understand that he’s busy at work and you were always supportive and understanding at his job were his top priority.
But couldn’t he at least spare you a few minutes of his free time, maybe when he woke up or during his breaks. You didn’t ask for more so you were slightly disappointed with him as it worried you that he worked 6am-2am everday without holiday breaks besides Nov.1-2.
You voiced those concerns to him, he apologized and you forgave him. But this behavior of his continued on and this made you sad, other would say you’re depressed but you were too occupied with thoughts of him; his voice; the feeling he gave you, etc.
For another month and three days, you confront him again but this time he left your pm and blocked you. You panicked as negative thoughts flooding your mind.
Did you do anything wrong? You weren’t too clingy, right? Your chat wasn’t too honest, right?
You somehow managed to calm your mind after a couple of minutes and through logical evaluation and elimination, you concluded that you didn’t do anything wrong. But the questions remain: Why did he leave? Why did he blocked you?
For the longest time, you couldn’t answer that. You spend your time drifting off from reality and to your memories with Toshi while day-by-by you lessen your interactions with your online friends, seemingly just vanishing from thin air.
You felt empty, a void of loneliness filled you as you went your way through your own life, not knowing what to do with yourself or even feel. Why did it come to this? Everything went fine, you two were happy so why? Why did he suddenly leave you all alone like that?
———————————————————————
Today was the reunion of UA batch [number]. Shinsou stood in the far corner of the Gym Gamma, his back leaning against the wall as he observed everyone and everything. He noticed an unfamiliar yet familiar (h/c) locks, he watch as you talked with Sero, Tokoyami, Shouji, and Ojirou. You were especially close to Ojirou, you practically by his side with your arm linked with his.
He didn’t know why he was growing irritated and angry at sight of you being in someone else’s arms when he damn well know that you deserve to move on after what he’d done to you after all those three years but still… He had hoped that you actually waited for him.
You were suddenly called by Kirishima as you leaned towards Ojirou and whispered a soft ‘see you’ before walking towards to him.
“(Y/n)-chan! I want you to meet someone!” He said as he dragged you towards where a lone lavender haired man stood before running away. You opened your mouth to objects but it was already too late, he was gone. You looked at the stranger and felt that same connection when you met him, you knew. Although not having to see his face, you just knew that it was him: Shinsou.
“(L/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!” You cheered brightly, just like when you first introduced yourself to him.
“I know.” he replied. “I’m Shinsou Hitoshi.” God, why I am so lame. He thought.
“Oh! Nice to finally and officially meet you, Shinsou-san!” You smiled as you raised your glass towards him.
Why did you have to call him like a stranger? And not the usual ‘Toshi’ you would always call him?
He clicked his glass with yours and took a sip as his eyes spotted a shiny accessory on your ring finger, making his heart froze. That’s why. You were engaged. Of course, why wouldn’t you be? You were ever so patient, understanding and supportive. It didn’t even surprise him.
When you finished you glass, you excused yourself as Jirou announces the last song for tonight that is written by the guess before she yelled out your name and you climbed up the stage.
“Love do you know?
We've been growing apart
And you should know
That for me that's hard
Darling I'm scared if I let you go, oh
This will be goodbye for good
It's easier this way
I'll spare my heart some pain
Even though I know it isn't true
It's easier this way
I'll spare my heart some pain
Even though I know it isn't true
‘I never loved you’
And I won't say
That I knew it from the start
So you can say
That we weren't torn apart
'Cause for me, oh it's easier to bleed, oh
When I know you can sleep so I keep telling myself
It's easier this way
I'll spare my heart some pain
Even though I know it isn't true
It's easier this way
I'll spare my heart some pain
Even though I know it isn't true
I feel numb when the drums slow down
Oh, leave me dumb so I can't tell myself
Myself, oh
It's easier this way
I'll spare my heart some pain
I already know that it just isn't true
It's easier this way
I'll spare my heart some pain
Even though I know it isn't true
‘I never loved you’.”
Part 2, maybe???
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