#all my siblings and my mom were involved in the making of this problem
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AITA for being too close to my childhood best friend?
(This is so long I'm so sorry, there's just a fair bit of info.)
Me (22F) and Jake (23F) grew up together. Our mothers were friends for years and got pregnant around the same time, and we've basically been side by side our whole lives. We consider each other platonic soulmates and siblings.
Jake has had a girlfriend (Lucy, 23F) for the last seven months. I really like Lucy, she's so funny, so interesting, and she clearly makes Jake happy. There's been one or two awkward moments between us, but its never been anything that lingered or caused problems.
Now I know how people generally act/think about "the girl best friend" so when Jake said he was thinking of asking Lucy out, I made sure to back off a bit. Instead of having a brate (bro date, just hanging out doing something like bowling, Maccas, movie theatre, ect) once a week I said we should have one once a month, I don't call him just to hang on the phone together anymore, I make sure to not message at all on the days I know they have dates planned, ect.
I've really, really done my best to not get in the way, to make sure Lucy knows he really is just my brother, and I've tried to give them both space as someone who is not involved in their relationship.
I thought I was doing really well because its never really come up until this week. It was Jake and I's brate day and we decided to go to the mall so I could shop for clothes and he could get the slushies he likes there. Lucy knew where we'd be, and "happened" to show up, which was fine. Like I said, I like hanging out with her, and I actually thought it was cool I could get another girl's opinion on my outfit.
Jake decided to try on some clothes too while he was there and it turned into something of a mini fashion show of both of us showing off our possible choices. Lucy seemed to alternate between really having fun and going quiet. She refused to try on any herself but grinning and laughing while Jake and I were, and while we were taking turns playfully hyping each other up.
Jake tried on a pair of jeans and I was teasing him and said "damn dude, look at all that ass" trying to make him embarrassed. This was when Lucy muttered something I didn't quite hear, and politely suggested I should leave. Both Jake and I were really confused and taken aback and Lucy kind of shrugged and said things like this were things couples should do, and it was really inappropriate of me to make a sexual comment about her boyfriend while she was right there.
I didn't want to make a scene so I said I'd go, but Jake argued back and said it was clearly just joking around and he's sick of her getting upset at literally anything I do, or he does with me, which was surprising because it was the first I heard that she's had actual complaints.
We all wound up sitting down in the food court to talk and Lucy basically said that she's growing more and more uncomfortable with how close Jake and I are as her and Jake get closer, even though Jake and I's interactions have drastically dropped since they started dating. She thinks its weird we have friendship bracelets (our families went on a double vacation when we were 14 and me and Jake bought those cheap seaside shell bracelets in matching colors, that's literally it) and we hang out alone once a month (even though she's been invited multiple times and always refuses) and she thinks its even weirder than our families are so close and call us siblings.
I won't lie, it killed me inside, but I offered to back off entirely and only be around Jake in group settings, if at all, but Jake cut in and said that wasn't a compromise he was willing to make, and asked Lucy to talk more in private. They left together and trying to be respectful, I haven't reached out at all to either of them while they talk it through.
Jake's mom came over today to hang out with mine, and wound up telling me the last few days Jake has been stressed out, miserable, and isn't sure about staying with Lucy. She said it was a shame because Lucy seemed so nice, but she also said she was proud of him because I was family and Lucy's insecurity wasn't reasonable.
It made me feel sad and like I was hurting Jake by interfering with his relationship again, so I asked some of my online friends from a game I play and the opinion was kind of split. They all agreed I've never spoken about Jake in a way that hinted I liked him, but also that as girls, they'd feel weird anyway about knowing their boyfriend had this close bond with another girl, and they'd be wondering what the future would look like and if our friendship would get in the way of choices like moving, starting a family.
Now I feel completely lost and honestly a little scared of both losing Jake and apparently ruining his life by being so close to him. None of the rest of our IRL friend group has ever brought anything up about it, and I don't know if this is Lucy being jealous or if this is my fault.
What are these acronyms?
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It's Just a Game
I Hughes!sister au I
"Come on Lola hit the ball!" Quinn encouraged his little sister, although they were on opposite teams.
The siblings were playing some sort of made up hockey inspired game in the basement. Jack and Lola were against Quinn and Luke. At the moment Jack and Lola were losing,
"Just hit it already!" Jack grumbled, she was taking too long in his opinion.
"You got dis Bah!" Luke cheered.
Lola lined up with the ball on the floor, just like her older brothers had been teaching her and swung at it with all she had. She must have given it a little too much oomph because she completely missed the ball and fell over.
"Oops. I sorry." She got up and sadly looked at the ball that hadn't moved an inch.
"Try again." Quinn smiled helping his little sister get set up again. He was going to give her one more shot before moving on with the game.
Lola tried again and once again missed the ball to which Luke swooped in and shot it into the net, scoring another goal from his team.
And that was the game. Luke and Quinn won by a large margin.
"It's not fair!" Jack grumbles, smashing his stick into the ground. Jack knew it was all Lola's fault because she's a baby and he had to do all the work.
"Sorry Jack. We won fair and square! Right Lu?" Quinn smiled at his younger siblings. Jack glared angrily, Luke shook his head, agreeing with Quinn, and Lola just looked at the floor she knew it was her fault, it was always her fault.
"But you stuck me with the baby! She can't even do anything!" Jack crossed his arms, stick still in hand.
"Hey, I'm three. I not a baby!" Lola frowned, protesting that she was old enough to play with the older boys.
"I want to play again, and I want Luke on my team!" Jack insisted, ignoring the little girl's response to being called a baby. He was only consumed with what he wanted, and maybe if he could get his way with having Luke on his team, he wouldn't lose like he did when he was forced to team up with Lola.
All Jack wanted to do was win once.
"We don't want to play anymore." Luke said this, with Quinn nodding in agreement this time. They didn't want to play with a sore loser.
"Come on!" "No!"
"Argh! Why do you have to be such a baby?" Jack yelled once again at his little sister, with tears now forming in her eyes.
What happened next was a bit of a blur for all parties involved. One sibling took a swing and the other sibling screamed.
Ellen had been making dinner in the kitchen when her ears picked up the sound of someone crying in the basement, most likely her youngest child.
She knew it was only going to be a matter of time before the sweet little girl would come running up to her and she would have to scold the boys. What she didn't expect was to find Luke running up to her instead.
"Mommy, Mommy!" The four-year-old was out of breath. The distance from the downstairs living room to the upstairs kitchen wasn't that far, but Luke was trying to hurry. There was an emergency. "Bah's hurt!"
"I can hear her crying. What happened?" Ellen was trying to keep her voice level and even. She wanted to know what happened so she could figure out how to fix the problem before going down there.
"Jack hit Lola with a stick! There's blood everywhere! Come on, Mommy!" Luke tugged on his mother's hand.
"WHAT?!" She let her youngest son's hand slip from her grasp as she hurried down the steps. Sure enough, there was Quinn holding and trying to calm a crying Lola as best as he could while being covered in his sister's blood. And Jack, the little culprit, was nowhere to be seen.
"MOMMY!" Lola wailed, huge crocodile tears slipping down her cheeks, mixing with the sticky red sticky substance
"Shhh. It's okay, Lola. Lukey went to get Mommy. It's okay." Quinn repeated his words like a mantra, praying Luke would get back soon with his mom.
"Quinn, I've got it." Ellen took a hold of her baby girl. Quinn backed off, giving his mother free rein over the situation. Sweetie, what hurts? Lola, honey, let Mommy see." Through the tears Lola looked at her mother, showing off her busted fat lip and missing two front teeth.
"Oh, baby, it's not that bad." Ellen cooed, trying to calm the child. The use of the pet name baby sent Lola into another crying fit.
"Where's Jack?" The mother of four inquired, her eldest pointed in the direction of the couch, aka the spot all four Hughes children hide when they were in trouble.
Jack didn't dare move from his hiding spot. He was terrified of what was going to happen if he came out of hiding. He hit his little sister, he didn't mean too.
"Jack? Can you please come out now? It's going to be alright; everything is going to be alright. Lola's going to be okay." he had heard his mother call out for him.
"I I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry Lola. I was mad. I shouldn't have done it." He apologized as soon as he saw his sister. It took Lola a hot minute to forgive her brother, but she did and even gave him a hug,
"Thank you Jack. Please remember next time. It's just a game."
Age Guide: Quinn = 8, Jack = 6, Luke = 4, Lola = 3
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so uhh this is gonna be scatterbrained. but i'm gonna ramble about milo and (what little info we have on) colm. sorry in advance if it doesn’t make sense i just had to exorcise this demon 🫡
i believe "camping with your alpha boyfriend (2021)" is the earliest mention of colm in an audio. obviously we don't actually know milo's side of things because it's told from david's POV, but we still get the mental image of little thirteen year old milo sitting shotgun in his dad's pickup as they drive to their camping spot. gabe's goofing around in the truck bed to make david and asher laugh, and colm joins in the fun by swerving the truck to mess with gabe. very basic dad thing to do, my dad's done the exact same thing to me and my siblings. it feels familiar and silly, and david frames it as a good memory, so it feels like a good memory. which is important to the point of this post
in "celebrating the new house (2022)," we get a little more colm lore:
My dad was forever blowing any cash he made on fucking bets and gambling and shit, chasing some fucking high. My mom was the only reason we didn’t end up out on the fucking street. He didn’t pull his head out of his ass and get some help until after I’d already moved out. So I never got to have that feeling of being in a house that was actually ours, ya know?
already this is a stark contrast to what we've previously heard of colm (i don't think there's any real mention of him between sept 2021 and dec 2022?) and it kinda makes me look at that old memory in a different light, especially with regards to david saying marie was "nagging [colm's] ear off about being irresponsible and a bad example." like. ykwim? like i'm just thinking about that interaction and wondering how far along those problems were at the time, if they were present at all. was this a normal, fun family outing? or would milo have rather been in the truck bed with david, asher, and gabe?
(and the fact that it wasn't until after milo moved out that colm tried getting any help?? i could make a whole other post speculating about milo struggling with wanting to move out of that environment ASAP vs not wanting to leave marie on her own to deal with colm)
so then i'm re-listening to "your werewolf boyfriend is worried about you" and having a visceral reaction to (re-)learning that colm was also an alcoholic:
But what he chose to do with that frustration and that feeling of powerlessness was not his job’s fault, those were his choices. He’s the one who decided to lose himself in booze and gambling and never being home. Never being there for the people he said he loved but apparently couldn’t stand to be around.
the last sentence especially is just an absolute heartbreaker because milo's, what, thirty now? and he's been dealing with this since he was a kid. clearly he's not on great terms with colm. the only times he ever talks about him is when he's shit talking the department. that is a crazy weight for someone to carry their whole life. i don't have experience with the gambling side but i do have an alcoholic family member who i used to be really close to as a kid but grew up to intensely resent as a result of his actions, so it hits a little close to home to see that reflected in milo
but i digress. umm. i bring up the camping story to highlight the most recent mention of colm from milo and how there were good times and sometimes maybe it hurts to remember them when the person involved devastated you as you grew up because they weren't what you thought they were. and how these things follow you through life and impact how you approach certain things. milo has to live with the fact that the same system that royally fucked colm is potentially going to do the same thing to the love of his life; i never drink more than one shot or half a beer, if i drink at all, and i don't like being around drunk people. even though we don't hear about colm very often, his influence is still there whenever milo has to deal with the department in any way
anyway i guess TLDR; imagine living the majority of your thirty years of life feeling like your dad couldn't stand to be around you because he was too busy drinking himself stupid and gambling away every penny he had as a way to deal with the strain that his job put on him. imagine having to witness your mom struggle constantly to keep you cared for. imagine the few good childhood memories you have with your dad being overshadowed by thinking he didn't love you or your mom enough to change. imagine watching the department run your soulmate into the dirt physically and mentally the same way it did your father and wanting to be supportive of them but also being so worried for them. it's a really interesting situation for him to be in and i enjoy it but it hurts me. the end
#one thing about me is that i will gravitate towards characters with alcoholic family members whether i know it or not#redacted audio#redacted asmr#milo greer#sweetheart.txt#milo#colm
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i was thinking abt how ayano and shintaro r the only two characters who ever die by suicide (shintaro is only in some routes but STILL.) and like how that's a way of showing that they had the potential to understand each other (bc in my opinion they r actually very similar) but not until either of them were dead. idk does this make sense? i just thought of this today so this thought isnt very refined yet i need to think abt it more
they ARE similar!!!!! i totally agree. shintaro and ayano are totally similar people. they're both Justice Seekers but are so depressed and have such horrible self worth they can't actually be proactive about things. but then they are :3
i wish we got ayano pov from hs and why she liked shintaro. I've always thought ayano's crush on him is...cute!!! because she's literally going thru the horrors, her mom died, her dad is being Strange, and she has to take care of the house and her siblings all alone PLUS later learning of all the horrible stuff about the daze and clearing. and yet. she's also a normal hs girl who has a silly crush on her classmate. not that we ever saw it but i definitely think ayano got to see at least once the shintaro we see who fights for good and doesn't let fear get to him like when he yells at the fucking terrorists or acts all cool when they face clearing in the novels. i think ayano got to see shintaro being Heroic or whatever and she was like THIS is the kind of guy we need to be recruiting in the mekakushi dan🔥🔥🔥 like seriously im delusional abt this but i think there should be a shinaya backstory abt this.
man i wish we saw more hs shinaya😭😭😭😭😭 im so mad that they only ever show shintaro being a fucking asshole lord in hs like im not rooting for you bitch FAST FORWARD NOW but the fact ayano knows shintaro likes music and shoujo manga etcetc its clear ayano and shintaro had normal ass conversations all the time. SHOW THEM TO MEEEEEE whatever. i dont even care <- cares
anyways i just wanted to say i think ayano does Kind of understand shintaro. i also wish we saw ayano think of shintaro in the entire conjecture with clearing eyes killing haruka and takane and her sacrificing herself for them and the mekatrio. Go listen to full disclosure from steven universe and you will understand my ayano vision for this. sorry that was weird. i think ayano wanted to keep shintaro as uninvolved as possible, haruka and takane were inevitably already in it. she just wanted to make sure to take them Out of it but shintaro.. i think ayano always had the feeling shintaro would get involved. i think ayano gravitates towards shintaro because she needed help and she needed a hero and deep down she knew this was him. but she never manages to properly reach out or even understand it i guess. but i think ayano did understand shintaro maybe even more he understood himself. on the other hand shintaro DID NOT understand ayano AT ALL but like you said, he could have. who knows how things had gone if shintaro had walked in when he saw ayano crying in the classroom!!! imagine ayano managing to pour her heart out and tell him what's gonna happen to their friends and her family. he would've helped. shintaro would've done something. but ayano wouldn't want him to bc he would get hurt but at the same time she WOULD want him to because she's so scared and alone and desperate for help *holds head *
also i always make myself insane abt shintaro and ayano being depressed legends who wanna die. while haruka and takane struggle with health problems and want to Live So Badly. sorry for bringing up harutaka Hi its me tumblr user yuukei yikes vinnie i will ALWAYS make it about harutaka. i just wanted to say that. shinaya who wanna die and tragedy arises from never meeting in the middle and not being able to understand each other vs harutaka who wanna live more than anything and tragedy arises from being forcibly separated.
ayano's words to takane when she's projecting so hard. there are times you want to tell someone something but you wind up being too late. ayano was never gonna say anything to shintaro because she didnt Want to. she knew what she was going to the roof for. while takane immediately makes a run for it to say something to haruka, she is just too late and has no control over her fate. whatever im normal!
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My King Will Be Kind Chapter 7 / Kendall Roy x OC
an: YALL ITS BEEN A MIN! my bad!!! ive just been doing my thang and honestly fell out of love with this story for a sec. i had to rewatch some episodes of s4 to get myself back into it and here we are! this chapter is a bit of a filler, as next chapter is going to be Living Plus which should be a shitshow lmao. PLEASE enjoy and lmk what u think! i love getting your messages it literally makes my day!
tw: mentions of death, cursing
Even when the first season of Delirium came out and was trending on every platform, Stella was still flying mostly under the radar. Sure, she had her fans, but the hype around her was nothing like it was now.
Stella had given up on Twitter, as the reactions to her and Kendall were not so great. People either had no fucking idea who she was or were completely disappointed in her choice in men.
im not gonna lie idk who tf stella allen is
Stella...girl...kendall roy...?
E! News even did a segment on her a few nights ago.
"Who is Kendall Roy's new girlfriend?" The peppy anchor said. "Well I've got you covered, folks!"
Some of Stella's scenes from Delirium flashed across the screen. They even had a blurry pap picture from the wedding to complete the package.
After the segment, her mother called her, almost in tears.
"Stelly, baby, what have you gotten yourself into?" She asked.
"Everything's fine, Mom, please don't worry."
"I don't want you involved with that family. Your dad hated ATN, remember? And that guy...how old is he?"
She cringed. "I know, I know."
"I thought you liked that boy from the movie?" Her mother mentioned.
"You mean Damien?" Damien was a costar who she went on two dates with over a year ago. she knew her mom wanted the best for her, but that had been over.
"He was such a nice boy. Why don't you call him?"
"He broke up with me, remember?"
"Oh." She thought for a moment. "What about--"
"I like Kendall, Mom."
"Really, babes?"
"Yeah..." Stella paused. "I mean, he's actually a really good guy."
"I'm sure he is, but doesn't he have kids? Doesn't he have an addiction problem? Are you really ready to deal with all that?"
"He's clean now, he told me."
"Isn't that what every addict says?"
"He barely has time to use, Mom, he's so busy."
"How does he make time for you, then?"
Stella thought for a moment. To be honest, she didn't know how to answer her mother's question. Things were hectic, to say the least, for the Roy's right now.
As she sat in her apartment, scrolling through Twitter and defending herself against her mother, Kendall was at his father's wake. He had invited her to go with him, but warned that all of his family and company would be there.
"It's gonna be a fucking fuckfest." He had told her.
Though meeting Shiv was definitely on her radar, Stella couldn't bring herself to go. It wasn't even really a wake, it was more like a business meeting in a dead man's penthouse. There wasn't a place for her there, and she didn't want one. Kendall didn't seem disappointed, as there were other things on his mind. Neither of them wanted to be questioned by his family when there were important decisions to be made.
"It's going to be tough, Mom, but I like him. It'll be okay."
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It was later that night when Kendall appeared on Stella' doorstep again. They had been texting every day, but with Logan dying, Kendall and his siblings were busy. It almost felt like things were back to normal, if it weren't for the thousands of tweets about their relationship. She thought that Logan's death would have surpassed them in the news, but it only intensified the spotlight on her and Kendall.
Again, it was late at night when Kendall called her, saying he was at the front door. This time Stella was more prepared, as she was still up doing work. Still, she was eating cold pizza out of the box and wearing a big t-shirt and shorts when he called.
"You need to stop doing this." She teased, opening the door for him.
He was quiet as he stepped into the threshold of her tiny apartment. For once, he had nothing to say to her as he entered.
"What's up? How was the wake?" She ran her hands down his arms, genuinely concerned about his mood.
"It's--" He started. "It's me."
"What do you mean, baby?"
"It's me. I'm...I'm CEO. Me and Rome, we're gonna do it but it's me, mostly."
Stella's jaw dropped. Sure, she was used to having Kendall as COO of WayStar, but CEO? This was on a whole different level.
"You're what?"
"I'm the fucking CEO." He said, looking at her, his hazel eyes brimming with tears.
"You're the fucking CEO."
"Yeah."
Stella threw her arms around him. Though it was a bit of a shock, she knew that CEO was Kendall's dream. He worked his entire life to be in this position and he was finally getting to it. He returned the hug, picking her up.
"H-how did this even happen?"
"Dad wrote it down. Before he died. The board still has to decide, and the GoJo deal is still there, but for now, yeah, I'm it."
"Oh my God. That's insane."
"I know. Fuck."
"What have you done to celebrate?" She asked.
"Well, I just got out of the wake." He sat down on her couch. "I came right here."
Stella's heart soared. It made her incredibly happy that Kendall wanted to share this news with her first. She sat down next to him, trying to ignore the pizza crusts on the table next to them.
"Well what do you want to do?" She genuinely meant it, not in a sexual way.
"Honestly, I just really need to sleep. I, uh, have to be in the office tomorrow at eight."
"Oh, shit, okay."
"It's okay. I wanted to see you before the shit show starts tomorrow."
"Well, you're welcome to stay as long as you want, but I don't want to keep you."
"No, no." He pulled her into him. "You're stuck with me."
"In that case..." She kissed him softly. "Do you wanna smoke some weed?" Stella nodded towards the pipe on her endtable. There was a half-smoked bowl inside already.
Kendall smiled, "I think you read my mind, pretty girl."
She laughed, trying to reach the pipe while still in his grasp. Her hands reached the bowl and Kendall magically produced a lighter.
They sat across from each other on the couch, Stella handing the pipe to Kendall.
"You first, Mr. CEO." She giggled when a giant smile spread across his face.
He thanked her, taking the bowl and lighting it.
"Wait," Kendall said. "Won't this set off the alarm?"
"Oh, they're broken, don't worry." Stella laughed.
He nodded, lighting the pipe and inhaling.
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After twenty minutes and a few too many puffs later, Stella was curled into Kendall's arms on her tiny couch.
"The wedding was nice, you know." She whispered into the cold morning air.
"I'm sure it was. Con planned the whole thing."
"It was beautiful. Even the loony cake."
Kendall chuckled. "I'm glad you stayed. It says a lot about you."
"I love family. And I love weddings."
"You want a big wedding, Stella girl?" He said, weed clouding their minds.
"Yeah." She said, eyes glazed over. "I want a huge ring too. You think you can do that, Ken?"
"Definitely." He smiled, secretly promising to himself that he would actually, one day, make that happen.
"Not a boat though. Kinda tacky."
"Anything you want, Stell."
"Think you can get both of our families to get along?"
"That, I'm not so sure about."
She was quiet for a second. As much as talking about weddings was fun, it just reminded her of her father. Who would walk her down the aisle? Who would she dance with at her first dance?
"What's on your mind?"
"Nothing, I--" She started, "I miss my Dad."
"Me too." Kendall said.
She immediately felt bad for even thinking about her own grief. Kendall's wound was still fresh while Stella had grieved over a year ago.
"What happened to him?"
"He, um, went to sleep one night and didn't wake up." Hot tears pricked at her eyes. "My mom woke up next to his body. It was like, the worst thing ever."
"I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about it right now. You're like, grieving your own loss."
"My Dad was a piece of shit." Kendall laughed. "But he was still my Dad."
"I know baby." She looked up at him, both holding back tears. "I know."
He kissed her softly. All she could see in the dark room was his face.
"I think I love you." Kendall said, like it was the easiest thing in the world.
"What?" Stella sat up. She was not expecting to hear those words.
"Sorry, uh--" Kendall stuttered, and for once, he didn't really know what to say.
"You love me?"
"Yeah. I fucking do." They sat across from each other on the couch again, Stella frowning to herself.
She had no fucking idea what to say, but she knew one thing. "I love you too, Ken." Stella mirrored the goofy smile plastered on his face.
"I fucking love you, Stella girl." He kissed her face all over, pushing her down on the couch. "Let me make you mine."
She hummed as his lips traveled down her neck. "I'm yours, Kendall." Stella giggled as his cold hands reached under her shirt.
"As much as I'd like to fuck you, I really have to get some rest." He whispered, putting his head on her collarbone.
Stella nodded, knowing tomorrow was just first day as CEO and staying up late wasn't exactly the best idea. "Do you wanna stay?"
Kendall's face lit up. He nodded eagerly.
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Stella was awoken the next morning by her dog growling and barking from the kitchen. He probably wanted to be taken out. She rubbed her eyes, realizing that there was barely any light coming from the curtains. It had to be four in the morning. She rolled over, expecting to find Kendall, but he was nowhere to be found.
"Ken?"
"In here!" His voice boomed from the kitchen.
Stella reluctantly got out of bed, walking to the kitchen and seeing possibly the funniest thing she had ever seen.
Kendall was sitting criss-cross on the counter, hiding away from her dog. Stella couldn't help but laugh. Her dog was less than 15 pounds and was all bark and no bite. Of course, Kendall didn't know that and probably had never been around dogs in his life.
"Ken, oh my God." She giggled, taking a picture of his scared state on top of the counter.
"He was barking at me!"
"He's a chihuahua, Kendall." Stella said as she scooped up the little dog.
"Last time I checked, chihuahuas were mean."
"Okay, true. But Kurt is a sweetie, right baby?" She kissed the dog on the forehead. "Don't be mean to mommy's friend."
"Friend?" Kendall pretended to be hurt.
"Sorry. Don't be mean to mommy's boyfriend."
Kendall got down from the counter where Stella noticed he had been trying to make coffee with her old ass coffee maker.
"Oh, God, you didn't try to make coffee, did you?"
Kendall looked at her sheepishly. "When did you get this fucking thing? 1998?"
"When I was two years old? No."
"Jesus, you're a baby." He smiled at her. The age-gap thing was kind of weird for her still, as she had never dated someone as old as Kendall.
"And you're fucking old." She said, rummaging around to make coffee for him. "This coffee isn't great, sorry."
"It's okay. I'll have Fikret get me some. He's on his way."
Stella frowned, not ready to let Kendall leave their little bubble yet. "I'm so excited for you, Mr. CEO." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "You're gonna kill it."
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See... I didn't even say I have a problem with SolarMoon. I literally said "I don't care what y'all ship" At least do not add words in my mouth. I couldn't careless about shipping in this show that's main thing for so long is about family. You and your friends quickly became defensive when I am not even accusing you of incest shipping. I WASN'T accusing you of that nor am I trying to "GOTCHA" you. Reread my message if you have to. Being quickly defensive and assuming I'm trying to get a moral high ground when the point of my first message doesn't even involve SolarMoon, you immediately reduce me to some kind of malicious dumb hater of the ship that, again, I didn't even mention nor express hatred towards.
The point of my previous message was, Earth said in that ranking video when Lunar immediately placed Solar on the sibling rank "Does he count as sibling? He's, he's a cousin" I GET IT, that they are not bio-related and Earth likes to give a title to people she holds dear, and that she's not making/using a family tree. If Earth sees him as a cousin, what's wrong with that? Why not let her label him as a cousin to her, instead of going "No, no one in the celestial siblings views him as a cousin" when clearly Earth does. She wouldn't give him a familial title if she doesn't see him as that familial title. That's my point and I'm sorry that it wasn't clear in my first message. And I probably missed the video where Earth apologized to Solar for giving him the cousin title and Solar showing discomfort for it. I didn't see that happening in any episodes so far as I am rewatching. All I've watched is Solar saying that "it doesn't roll off the tongue"
Okay. I debated wether to reply to this, but I think I will.
I will be fully honest with upmost transparency.
I understand where you are coming from.
Truly I do.
But at the same time. Someone coming to my askbox and accusing me of spreading lies is an accusation I don't take lightly.
And if you read like 20 plus bad faith attacking Anon messages in the past month.... That wears mentally on you. So when one person comes with general confusion toward the mater, when it looks like the same asks that are designed to trap me, and especially when they're on Anon, you would be a little defensive and use the ask as a talking point for other things.
So I do apologize if my initial response came out as aggressive or defensive.
The whole "cousin as a joke" thing is very up to interpretation of this whole thing.
Is Solar saying he's a cousin cus he thinks it easier, or if he really sees himself as one?
If he does? If he's a robot, can't he change his mind?
Probably.
Can Solar still be considered a member of the family?
Also yeah.
I've had "cousins" who were friends of the family, who I wasn't biology related to in any way. They were just the daughters and sons of my parents friends in college.
So theoretically, if we ever developed feelings I think my parents would be supportive. Because that's the "cousin-friend" and not the "bio-cousin"
Same thing as having a mom or dad friend in the group.
And is there anything inherently wrong with viewing Solar as a cousin? Or strictly related?
No. Absolutely not.
If you view them strictly as family, that is Your interpretation and by all means, I won't take that away from you.
But I personally don't view Solar as related. He is still a close family friend and member of the family without being those things.
I shipped Solarmoon since Summer of 2023. I only very recently as of this year been vocal about it with mixed reception.
And I know SolarMoon will not happen. I don't want it to. And I know the show is about family bonds. And I know thats the VAs for a fact do not care about this.
At all.
It's just a funny little thing I speculate about for fun.
Especially when it comes to things that happen in the show, I just use it as a spring board for speculation and fun headcanons. So when I say "I ship them as Au" it literally means "the cousin label was never given to him in the first place, or he used it as an excuse and changed his mind later."
Which, is a thing.
Cause again.
They're robots.
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Vecna and his choice of victims
This has probably already been written before but I've had some more thoughts since the play. I also have like, 20 asks people have sent in that i haven't answered and I'm pretending to not see until I figure out what I want to say in response >.> (I do appreciate the asks but phew my brain juices are running low. Ha)
Most of this is related to season 4 so I won't be putting them under a read more now. I'll also be making a lot of assumptions here.
I hadn't known until now but apparently people have been getting into fights because of their theories and well, I don't want any part of that. THESE ARE JUST THOUGHTS~. I'm not an ST writer and I have no idea where they're going with things, so let's just chill and have a chat alright?
General assumptions
I know I and some others have discussed this in the past, but it's pretty obvious Henry is deeply connected to El and Will. He has a lot of parallels with them. Not just surface levels ones either, they seem pretty intentional and the writers/actors themselves have been hinting at it.
But what if it doesn't stop there? What if he relates to ALL his victims which is why they were chosen in the first place? What if it's not just "they were teenagers suffering" but it's a specific kind of suffering he could relate to?
#1: Chrissy.
Chrissy was suffering from bulimia and it seems one of her major triggers was her mother constantly talking about her weight. In Vecna's depiction of her mother, she was called a fat pig, her mom constantly readjusted her clothes at the sewing machine so they would "fit". Her father was either dense as hell or refused to see what was happening since his eyes were sown shut in Chrissy's waking nightmare. Food was depicted as rotten and disgusting, which is probably how she felt due to her eating disorder caused by her family situation.
With the extra bits we've gotten from the play and what was in the show itself, I believe Henry faced a similar situation. He was going through stuff and his mother was unsupportive and visibly disgusted by him. Even though Henry and his mother obviously had a tense and extremely negative relationship, Henry's dad Victor seemed completely unaware of what was going on or refused to acknowledge it.
When Victor retold what happened to his family, in his opinion, his life was pretty picturesque. I haven't heard many details about Victor in the play but he completely glossed over all of his son's odd behavior or why they even moved to Hawkins in the first place. In fact, he thought his son was sensing the danger rather than his son BEING the danger.
It's almost 1 to 1 of Chrissy's home life. Terrible mother child dynamics. Emotionally absent father. Irrelevant sibling.
#2: Fred.
We know a lot less about Fred's home life, but there's still a little bit we can pick apart from what we do know. We know that Fred was involved in some kind of accident a year or so ago. Instead of helping his fellow victim in the crash, Fred ran all the way home, terrified. Either people blame him for the other victim's death or he blames himself so harshly that he believes others blame him (guilt basically).
If I stretch things a bit, it sorta lines up with Henry hurting a kid at school while he lived in Nevada before moving to Hawkins maybe?
Or maybe it's that situation they created with Patti in the play with Principal Newby? I don't know all the details but Patti blamed Henry for what happened right? At least temporarily.
When Fred has his vision in the woods, a little girl grows a weird ugly finger and starts the "Murderer" chant. Maybe that's similar to Henry's sister Alice approaching him and telling him he's a different person now?
This one is a stretch I realize, but hey.
#3: Patrick.
This one is pretty similar to Chrissy situation but in reverse I suppose. It's not Patrick's mother that's the problem, but his dad. When Henry selected Patrick as his target, we heard Patrick's dad basically call him worthless. Lucas mentions Patrick coming into practice with bruises sometimes and feels bad for not being there for Patrick more having realized belatedly what was going on.
I don't believe Henry was physically abused by his parents, BUT "Papa" certainly was. Brenner, the obsessed scientist weirdo has done plenty of things to Henry and the rest of the kids so I'm sure I don't need to go into detail.
We've even seen him berate El multiple times for not doing what he wants. He even tried to pin blame on her for everything that was happening in season 4 before she rightly pushed the blame right back on his shoulders. (and then he stabs her with a needle and puts a shock collar on her.)
Maybe it doesn't match up for you but I dunno, I think that lines up pretty evenly.
#4: Max.
Unsurprisingly, Max's situation is what triggered this entire post. I was just thinking, "All these people moving to Hawkins and it kinda sucks there." Then a light bulb went off. "Wait, Max also had to move to Hawkins because of something Billy did." And it spiraled from there. Nevada isn't California, but I bet Billy, Max, and Henry all preferred living where they were before they had to move to Hawkins.
I wouldn't exactly call moving across the country traumatic, but Henry could possibly relate to Max's feelings of isolation and moving with your dysfunctional family so that things would "get better" but they do not get better at all.
If we look at the play again and coat Max and El a little bit in Patti and Henry's colors, then I guess Henry and Max can relate to the isolation of losing your closest friend, but that's a stretch I admit.
I could make another header for Billy but I think I'll just leave him in Max's section since the situation is pretty identical. Billy is a mixture of Max and Patrick, he's way closer to Henry's situation than Max is.
#5: El.
This one is so obvious that I don't need to go into detail but it still needs to be said. Henry and El's stories are extremely similar. The super powers. The lab. Brenner. The kidnapping and isolation in general. The experimentation. Being forced to kill things. Afraid of hurting people because of your powers.
She even shares the "being separated from the people you care about" stuff, she's had to deal with that multiple times on repeat.
Luckily for El, all of her real parents are chill (Terry, Hopper and Joyce) so in that regard, other than Hopper being a punk bitch a few times, she's been blessed there.
#6: Will.
Finally we get to Will. It's interesting how different Will and Henry's stories are and yet they're also so similar.
Will has an amazing mom but an absentee dad. It's hard to say what is worse between Henry and Will's situations but at least Will had support at all with Joyce.
Apparently, Henry also disappeared once into the Upside Down and returned a completely different person. Not only that, apparently Henry was possessed by the Mind Flayer in the same manner that Will was. This is so obviously related to Will's story that I don't think I need to expand on it.
Like El and Max, Will also had the pain of moving away from most of the people he cared about, though this pain is very understated for Will in the show. Will seems pretty content with just having his family and long distance friends even though the long distance friendship was secretly eating at him too.
Apparently in the play, Virginia forced Henry to visit the "doctor" (lab) like Joyce did to Will. Someone described it as almost exactly like the beginning of season 2. Not only was Henry's lab experience just like El's, but Will's as well. Luckily, Will's doctor was Owens and not Brenner, though I'm sure Brenner was watching (I got an ask related to this btw I will get to it because I wanna talk about this more)
If Henry's life was segmented into parts, then it'd be "before the UD", "after the UD", "before the murders" and "after the murders"
Chrissy, Patrick, Max and Fred are all "after the UD" and "before the murders". A part of Henry's life that is seemingly drastically different than the life he had before.
El is "after the murders". His life in the lab leading into who he is today.
Will is.... a little bit of everything. He was Henry "before the UD" and "after the UD", that transition into a different person specifically after the UD experience. He's also "after the murders" when he's possessed by the MF and "before the murders" when he's a little bit of a lab rat at Hawkins before things go south.
Through the circumstances of the show, Will has literally become the closest person to Vecna. They'll likely understand each other more than anyone else, which kinda sucks for Will.
But I suppose the fundamental difference between them will be.... El. Funnily enough. You know how Henry (and Kali) taught El that hatred and sadness is the key to becoming more powerful? Well, El has already discovered that love is infinitely more powerful.
Not only that, El has chosen her friends and family. She rejected Henry. She rejected Kali. But there is one kid she hasn't rejected that could really use her insight on breaking through the pain to find something greater.
#stranger things#el hopper#will byers#henry creel#willel#theory#spoilers#THAT HUG OMG#I WATCHED IT AGAIN TO TAKE THIS SCREENSHOT AND ALMOST BURST INTO TEARS#my siblings are so freakin adorable#I'll never get over it
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I am gonna flood your inbox, just warning you now 🤗
So, you want questions? I'll give some to ya.
1. How tall is Dalia?
2. If she was granted anything she could want, what would she want?
3. Any family? If so, who's she closer too?
4. How does she feel about colorguard? Is she good at it?
5. If she was friends with one of my own oc's? Who, and why would she be friends with them?
6. Lastly, if she was dared to eat dirt for 20$ would she?
Sorry for all the questions! I wanna know more abt her, and squeeze her like she's one of my blorbos.
Here we go, in order! :]
1, Dalia is 5'6, and she's also 15 and weighs around 160 pounds just to cover bases
2, if she could have anything, it would probably be peace of mind. She's usually worried about something or someone, and she puts her concerns about and need to protect those close to her above her own needs. She wants a way to just shut out her thoughts and have the peace her epithet can provide to others, but if she tries to use her epithet on herself it doesn't work, so she's constantly seeking out ways to get that peace, but her thoughts never go away, she can push them to the back of her mind but they're always there and she wishes they weren't. (Lowkey needs therapy tbh)
3, alr family wise she has a pretty big family(so many cousins but I'll make a tree later, I promise) but for immediate family she has 2 siblings, both younger. The middle kid is Esme, and she's 9, and she's pretty close with Dalia (even though some days she makes her wanna rip her own hair out bc omfg does this kid not listen). The youngest is named Jasper, he's 8, and he's sweet, but that doesn't mean he doesn't cause trouble, it's just that when he just does it's more sneakily than when Esme does it. When they play together, it's just basically this (https://youtube.com/shorts/7EVy_Bh6lNk?si=qKcONC0YZzcMUH2b sorry idk how else to link it) Dalia regularly walks in on them being like this and is used to it at this point. Her mom is pretty distant and is constantly working, and Dalia wishes she was around more. Her mom(named Avery) also just kinda pins her siblings onto Dalia whenever her dad isn't home. Her dad(named Carter) is a stay at home dad who's trying his best. He's got a lot going on, but despite it all, he's pretty close with Dalia. They have the same sense of humor, so if you put them in a room together, they constantly crack jokes at each other. He was on drumline when he was her age, and that's part of the reason she joined guard bc she wanted to be involved with the marching band like her dad. She looks up to him a lot.
4, she likes colorguard a lot, but there was definitely a learning curve. If you saw her at her first performance compared to her latest, you wouldn't think it's the same person. She gets super nervous before performances tho (she cried because of her nerves before her first real performance) but the more performances and practice she got under her belt the better her nerves have gotten(she still gets a little panicky before big shows and parades, but nothing compared to how it used to be)
5, Prolly Sabrina, i feel her idgaf energy would ground Dalia in a way(I have a lot of friends with that energy and idk why but it grounds me, so now figuring out why is Dalia's problem lmao) They also have similar music taste(Dalia playlist coming soon) If they were friends they'd totally send eachother fanfic for fandoms they're both in at ungodly hours of the night lmao
6, short answer, no (but if you push, yes.) Long answer no, and not because she's above eating dirt for cash but because she knows she'll probably get made fun of if she does. She folds to peer pressure pretty easy tho (people pleaser) and could probably be convinced to if you pushed her about it.
(Sorry this took so long to make lmao, and tysm for asking questions about her. Sorry if this is kinda bad. I'm a better artist than I am a writer)
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I'm asking because I feel this is anonymous enough. How does one keep getting up in the morning? I can't figure it out, but I just don't want to do anything anymore. Your blog is a great diversion (thanks for finishing CIS), but it finishes and i feel the same blah. I don't want to get up anymore. I'm not going to do anything drastic (I have 3 kids who would resurrect me just to kill me all over again if I tried to off myself and I have worked through my own friend taking her life). I just want to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sorry to dump this on you, I just want to write things down. Thanks for reading.
I am not your doctor and I am not your therapist, but right now I can receive you as a friend, fellow human being, and fellow mom.
I am so glad that you have a place to write all of this down. I know you said this all to get it out and if I can be a trustworthy place for you get all of this out then I am fine with that. ❤️
You are battling something huge every day. Something that is outside of your control in your current state of being and I am so proud that you are aware enough to be looking for a way to fix something that you feel to be wrong.
There are steps of a process to make cognizant changes to your life. The first is always discovery.
How can you know what you want to change unless you know of the existence of the problem. You have discovered something you don’t like already. You are aware of it. This was the first step.
Your message asks a lot of questions. These are normal, human questions and everyone has faced these times during their lives when they are feeling down and in-between their distractions. This is the most human thing to battle.
Things don’t start to get better without some effort. This isn’t something someone else can do for you. Just as you have already made the discovery that something is wrong, you can also take the next step and practice mindfulness. This just means being present inside of and aware of your own mind. Being aware of when and where you are when these negative things happen inside of your mind. It sounds silly but it is immensely helpful to keep a log. Where was I when I felt this way? What events led up to me feeling this way? Were any outside forces at play when I began to feel this way? What inside thoughts preceded me feeling this way?
This has two benefits. Simply being aware with concrete data is, in itself, a very powerful motivator. The things that lead up to or contribute to the bad thing, these are called triggers. Triggers can be minimized and avoided to help you get on top of it.
What if your trigger isn’t one thing, but what if it’s just everything all over all the time?
Maybe you need a change in routine; a change in your day to day. You already know that the way you are existing right now might be unsustainable. How much longer can I do this? How much more can I take? These sorts of things.
It’s also so,so so hard being a mom too. I don’t think some men, or some non-parents get it (not to discount fathers or siblings that help raise their younger siblings. I don’t have experience to speak on their behalf, I mean moms specifically) How much of your entire existence is dedicated to other people.
But what about you?
Jesus, you create these people and suddenly it’s like you’re no longer you, you supposed to be content to exist for them only. It really messes with someone’s sense of identity. Like no, I am still me. I still have value on my own without my children to define me. I think that’s one of the hardest parts of being a mom. I’ve long since gotten over it. I have friends and hobbies and my own interests and my existence isn’t all about being someone’s mom or being someone’s wife. Just the other day my son looked at me as I was actively writing the final chapter of my story and he had a moment where he kind of realized that I have this entire intricate life, just as detailed and involved as his own. It was his own little sonder moment and he said “wow so you are an author then.” It was weirdly validating that the person who has always just seen me as mom also got it. I am not only mom. I am more than that.
I am me. This is me.
Anyway I don’t have a magic answer. Sometimes you need a small change. Start a new routine. Book something that you will look forward to. When that passes book something else. Sometimes you need a bigger change. Make an appointment with a doctor and get your physical body checked out. Make an appointment with your doctor and tell them what you are feeling.
I promise you are not the only one.
I’m sorry I don’t have answers. I hope nothing but the absolute best for you, always ❤️
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I wanted to stretch my character design muscles and draw all the x-men’s blonde ladies since they are famously hard to differentiate, but it turns out a good chunk of that list is Guthries. Fortunately, designing siblings is also a fun character design challenge.
This ended up involving quite a bit of headcanoning because this family is a mess, so I’m gonna explain them all below the cut.
Sam was very easy, he’s even the one Guthrie kid with a clear birth order as the canonical Eldest. I mainly just wanted to capture his New Mutant’s design with his less gangly modern look.
Paige was the only Guthrie I’d drawn before, so I just used the drawing of her from the Gen X line-up I did forever ago. She’s been called out as the second eldest before,
-but Elizabeth has been mentioned to be specifically older than Paige. In the end I decided to commit to neither option and make them twins who constantly argue over who was born first. My friend swayed me that she should be trans given the whole hormone based power thing, so I ended up having to switch her from identical to fraternal at the last minute.
Jay’s order in line has never been clear, but he’s usually drawn as among the older group so here he is. I found a panel where he had a cute cowlick and liked how it seemed like he had a kinda bird-like nose, so that was most of the thought in his design.
Joelle’s one spotlight moment is joining an anti-mutant hate group because she was jealous that all her siblings were more special than her, which is a very middle child move of her so she’s right in the middle. I decided to play up how similar she looks to Melody, just to add even more reason she’d rebel like that.
Melody was very easy, her age was never specified but given that her age varies from quite young to being in the highschool group, I figured it was safe to put her on the older end of the younger half of the family.
A big problem with plotting out the whole Guthrie family is that Sam’s said there’s 10 Guthrie kids with him included, but only 9 have been named on page. Which seems like it has a pretty easy solution if you just include Ray Holder Jr because Sam considers his Mom’s boyfriend’s son a sibling in his count. I mean, that’s something that happens in the real world. Plus, kid died so I think he deserves it.
Jeb’s design has been all over the place. Does he have glasses? Does he have freckles? Is his hair strawberry blonde, red, or brown? I’m committing to glasses, freckles, and blonde hair just because I figure that makes him the most distinct. At least he’s pretty easy to place as closest in age to Ray and not the youngest.
Lewis and Cissie Guthrie are the two youngest and twins. I’d argue they're even more trans-coded than Liz, given that they're identical but different genders. The only interesting thing either have done is that Lewis got injected with necrotized DNA by the Dark Beast once and nearly died, so he gets to keep some scars from that to give him something to visually stick to.
#also yes Sam’s ears are now The Guthrie Ears#my art#sam guthrie#x-men cannonball#paige guthrie#x-men husk#Elizabeth Guthrie#x-men Amazon#jay guthrie#x-men Icarus#joelle guthrie#melody guthrie#x-men aero#ray holder jr#jebediah Guthrie#Lewis guthrie#Cissie guthrie
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The Shadow preview has summoned me
Time to expand on how I want Thunder the obligatory traveling book to pan out. My hopes for Frostpaw and Nightheart are here.
I think it's inevitable now that if Nightheart is the warrior who goes on the quest with Frostpaw, then Sunbeam, Sparkpelt and Finchlight will go after them since they're on the cover together. Their goal will be to get Nightheart back and, I'm sorry, make amends with him. BUT HERE'S HOW THEIR CHARACTERS CAN STILL BE SAVED!!!!!!!
Everything involving Nightheart here will only be interesting to me if Nightheart matures and grows as a character the way I said I wanted him to in the previous post so go read that.
Let's start with Finchlight since so far she's an accessory character to Sparkpelt and Nightheart but I think they could expand what she does have. Have Finchlight be someone who looks at the big picture, the effect the actions of herself and others have on the clans. This makes her very selfless while also causing her to hold others to her standards without thinking of how they'll feel first. This can explain why she brings up work when trying to get Nightheart to come home and brushed off his frustrations with having all the apprentice duties before that.
Imagine Finchlight being selfless to the point where she doesn't want to bother others with her problems, especially her mother who is the only cat who's feelings she is acutely aware of. Nightheart's selfishness and unwillingness to give Sparkpelt a chance frustrates her because it's obvious how much their mother has suffered and she doesn't understand how Nightheart won't make things easier for her the way she has. Finchlight can't really find it in herself to value Firestar's legacy the way Sparkpelt and the rest of Thunderclan do, but she pretends to to make them and her mother feel better. What really hurts her is the more immediate family she's lost. She never knew Larksong and has always felt like something was missing. When Nightheart leaves and that feeling grows, she realizes it's Flickerkit.
But talking about them hurts Sparkpelt, so she doesn't. But at some point during the journey she breaks down and argues with Sparkpelt, admitting everything. This conflict could either be resolved during the fight or sometime later, after they've both cooled off and Sunbeam perhaps mediated for them, and Sparkpelt tells Finchlight about her father.
Speaking of Sparkpelt she's had it pretty rough right? Two of her siblings died as kits, one being old enough for her to remember. Her surviving brother was a bundle of anxiety when they were young and she was most of his emotional support. Her father is awful to her mother and she's been the only cat to ever call him out. Her mate and one of her kits died right after she gave birth. Her PPD made it difficult to connect to her surviving kits. Her dad got his body snatched by her mom's crazy ex who then tried to kill her, successfully getting her mauled by dogs. One of her kits refused to go with her when she was exiled but blames her for her absence and now he's rejected his family completely and run away to another clan.
No wonder she would value Firestar's "legacy". Growing up hearing glorified versions of his life and being constantly favorably compared to him both for her appearance and natural talent may have been both a source of comfort and pressure to live up to him as her living family seems to spiral out of control. When Nightheart rejected Firestar, it felt like he had rejected her twice. She desperately wants to get him back, for things to stop falling apart, even if she doesn't think he will give her the chance. This turns into her blaming herself.
Sparkpelt isn't an apprentice anymore. She knows that Firestar couldn't have been the perfect model of a Thunderclan warrior the elders make him out to be. He was a brave and noble cat who gave his life to save the clans but he was also born a kittypet who felt rejection, fear, pain and loss just like any cat has. The life of a warrior has never been easy but it's a fantasy that kept Sparkpelt going in her younger moons and she hoped it could be a reality for her kits in the wake of Ashfur's defeat. She finally confronts this part of herself in her argument with Finchlight and is ready to look at herself separate from a cat she never met.
She faces the past, her past, by having a quiet conversation with her daughter about Larksong. Even though it's hard at first, and Finchlight tries to tell her they can talk about it later, she continues. She tells Finchlight about the funny time he fumbled catching a pigeon and the wistful look on his face when they'd brainstorm kit names, the same look he had when naming Flickerkit. She tells Finchlight that Flickerkit had the same fur she does. She feels herself begin to heal.
Sparkpelt knows she has tried her best to be there for her kits. That things outside of her control have kept her from always being there for them. She is ready to speak her piece to Nightheart, but whatever choices he makes will be his own.
I didn't forget about Sunbeam! I like this post about Sunbeam's behavior falling into the rule of three and hope it comes to pass. Sunbeam gives Nightheart a chance but his selfish reason for claiming they're mates and how little they actually know each other bubbles over until the end of Shadow where there's a pretty noticeable breakup. Berryheart will be like "I told you so!" and suddenly half of Shadowclan will question Nightheart's loyalty even more. This will lead to Nightheart going on the quest but Sunbeam will blame herself and want to go after him. The key here is that the story doesn't spin this like it actually is her fault.
Sunbeam needs to learn to value and trust herself and she does so by getting better friends. While both her and her mother are apprehensive towards Sunbeam at first, Finchlight bonds with Sunbeam and becomes a better friend to her than Lightleap, Blazefire and even Nightheart ever were. Finchlight cares about Sunbeam. She doesn't find her dull or put her or herself into danger. She doesn't use her for self centered reasons. Through her Sunbeam learns that she is worth more than that and Finchlight learns to be more open with other cats.
Sparkpelt is a slightly different story. She doesn't trust cats outside of Thunderclan. It's not a secret and has been shown in multiple scenes since she became a warrior, including towards her own apprentice Twigbranch. In a way, Sparkpelt reminds Sunbeam of her mother. But unlike Berryheart, Sparkpelt's distrust comes just from being raised in clan culture rather than a traumatic event. Sunbeam is more willing to stand up to her than Berryheart and becomes more confident in what she believes in. I think it would be interesting for Sunbeam, an outsider, to point out to Sparkpelt that the ancestor she admires was a kittypet. Perhaps in a scene where they need the help of one. Unlike Berryheart, Sparkpelt grows willing to listen to her.
As they travel, Sparkpelt starts to like Sunbeam and become supportive of the code changes, accepting the idea that her son might never want to return to Thunderclan. Like her, Sunbeam stops blaming herself for Nightheart's actions. The way he cornered her into a relationship just to get into Shadowclan was wrong and hurt her and she will stand by that when they reunite. Sunbeam gains a better role model in Sparkpelt and returns to the clan with a clearer idea of how to stand up to Berryheart should she bother her, Spireclaw, Fringewhisker or Nightheart ever again and is willing to fight whatever battles that will inevitably break out in the last two books.
This being Warrior Cats, it's likely she and Nightheart will end up making up and getting back together. Even if Nightheart realizes he was wrong and tries to make up for his actions I don't know if I'll like that. I think it would be much more interesting for them to become friends instead as we haven't seen a breakup that hasn't resulted in resentment before in this series.
Anyway that's all the ideas I have for this for now. If Sunbeam feels a little sparse it's because for Finchlight and Sparkpelt I had to build character arcs beyond Nightheart's "wah they mean to me" shtick while I like Sunbeam's arc on it's own so far. If you have your own ideas or want me to think about any of this more feel free to tell me! I'm gonna go make more fanart for a book that isn't out yet.
#warrior cats#warriors#wc#a starless clan#a starless clan spoilers#asc#asc spoilers#a starless clan thunder#a starless clan shadow#a starless clan shadow spoilers#shadow spoilers#sunbeam#sparkpelt#finchlight#nightheart#berryheart#frostpaw
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Ok no fuck it I present to you
My rant about Avatar 2
I watched it last night with my parents (very late i know but this is my blog so LMAO)
First of all, James Cameron hated on Marvel movies and yes, he made some good fucking movies and yes, Marvel has mid movies and makes more and more bad decisions, his films aren't some goddsend top tier cinema and Avatar 2 shows it.
Let's start with the good: The movie is pretty. The shots underwater are beautiful and I believe that seeing it in a cinema must have been great. But that's also all I can say about it.
NOW MY PROBLEMS.
It's too fucking long. TOO FUCKING LONG.
Nearly every plot point is started with the fact the kids didn't listen to Jake. Okay, I get it, teens and kids suck and don't listen to their parents, womp womp what's new, but if this is the driving force in your movie plot more than once or twice? Jesus even my mom who doesn't give a damn about movies called this shit out.
The dialogues are just weird. When Jake and Neytiri deep moments were ok, but jesus fuck sometimes I just cringed.
Did I already mention it's too long? It's stuck in a cycle. Lo'ak does something, the other siblings get involved, Jake is mad and then again and again.
Humans are back on pandora AGAIN and in the end THEY'RE STILL THERE. Literally the big plot didn't move at all?
Spider is fucking annoying but I could move past that BUT his only purpose in the movie is to humanize Quaritch. Okay, I could live with that, if the movie showed Quaritch living in the nature, Spider teaching him shit and him having some internal struggle MAY I SAY a redemption. No. Instead Jake just kills him and that's okay- OH NO SURPRISE HE IS ALIVE. WHY IS HE ALIVE YOU ASK? SO HE COULD BE THE VILIAN IN THE THIRD FUCKING MOVIE. BECAUSE WE WILL MOST PROBABLY HAVE THE SAME BAD GUY FOR THREE FUCKING MOVIES STRAIGHT. LET THE MF DIE. Spider liking him also makes no sense in my opinion but that's just me.
Also Kiri's story is confusing. Ok she cares about Spider and she is connected with eywa. That's all cool and shit but we had so many scenes how important it is and yes she saved Neytiri and Tuk in the end but WHY WAS IT SET UP SO HEAVILY? We could have half of all that and it would be the same. Am I the only one who thought when one of the other researches told Jake that it is epilepsy it would play a role? Like it was a big moment of him telling Jake "You can't let her do that anymore." So you would think that would create tension between Jake believing his/human medicine and Kiri/Neytiri leaning towards their traditional medicine. THAT WOULD ACTUALLY PROBABLY BE INTERESTING IMO? But no instead Kiri has a manic pixie dream girl vibe mixed with a teenage girl that all she does is be mad an annoyed.
I think that's all for now. Will I hate watch Avatar 3 when it comes out? Maybe. Probably.
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Five Line Friday Masterpost
MARCH 3:
❤️ Stop pretending that you care - Fifty Shades
🥃 You really tricked dad into letting you go? - Peaky Blinders
🥃 You should learn not to naively put your trust in other people without questioning their motive - Peaky Blinders
🥃 I suppose you clean up alright too - Peaky Blinders
MARCH 10:
✨I can't stand this anymore - Twilight
✨Why are you all in my bed? - Twilight
✨She's fine, she's just being dramatic - Twilight
✨You are not allowed in the kitchen - Twilight
👔 If I don’t sleep I will die—just go to bed - Suits
👔 I’m sorry I’m missing the nurse outfit - Suits
🔴 He’s fine. He’s just being dramatic - Daredevil
🔴 You don’t like hospitals, I get it, but I think we can’t wait any longer - Daredevil
☠ Come on, I’ll take a much-needed nap with you. Then we’ll both feel better - The Punisher
MARCH 17:
✨Why are you wearing my skirt? - Twilight
✨I would appreciate if you stopped poking me - Twilight
❤️ I can’t smile at you, I’m mad - Fifty Shades
❤️ Oh, look! My will to live... it's gone - Fifty Shades
🥃 Do we have a problem? - Peaky Blinders
🥃 Try that again, I dare you - Peaky Blinders
☠ It's impossible to get rid of me - The Punisher
☠ We're too young for this - The Punisher
💐 Are you awake or asleep? - Bridgerton
👔 "Harvey? I know it's 2 am but... I forgot about the science project for tomorrow... I need to make a cell...a jello mold cell." - Suits
👔 You and me - movie night - Suits
👔 You and me - movie night - Suits
🖼 What did they do now? - White Collar
🩸If I have to tell you again, I won't be this nice - True Blood
MARCH 24:
❤️ You didn't say tickling was cheating - Fifty Shades
❤️ I'm keeping you safe - Fifty Shades
☠ The wonderful world of high school drama - The Punisher
☠ Why are you all in my bed - The Punisher
☠ I lost my phone - The Punisher
☠ Is that blood? - The Punisher
🥃 I'm calling to tell you I'm in the hospital - Peaky Blinders
🥃 Did you buy me flowers? - Peaky Blinders
👔 I'm proud of you - Suits
✨Did you just fake an allergic reaction? - Twilight
✨It's impossible to get rid of me - Twilight
MARCH 31:
☠ Communicating with a sister involves a lot of inside jokes and may seem like a secret language to outsiders - The Punisher
☠ They were happy that their partner and their sibling got along so well together - but they could live without them constantly teaming up on them - The Punisher
☠ Thank you, that means a lot to me - The Punisher
☠ You can call me a mom all you want, but I will get you better soon - The Punisher
🧂 But why can't we have breakfast food for dinner? - Supernatural
💐 A hello would've been nice - Bridgerton
🔍 How does it feel knowing that you're the most annoying person on the planet? - Sherlock
❤️ I can't move because you're sitting on top of me - Fifty Shades
❤️ Give me a hug or I’ll tickle you! - Fifty Shades
🥃 Why does everything have to be a struggle with you Shelbys? - Peaky Blinders
👔 Since dad’s not here, I’m going to ground you for him - Suits
👔 How the hell are you supposed to explain this?! …Aliens? - Suits
👔 Are those my socks? - Suits
✨You can go to sleep now. I will keep watch - Twilight
✨If you call me old one more time... - Twilight
✨You're covered in blood, need to tell me something? - Twilight
✨And this is why mom loves me more - Twilight
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Some mild venting below the cut, nothing too serious, but this makes it easier to scroll past. It's a long one, so just know that if you decide to dive in. Messy family stuff.
So two of my siblings are not really talking right now, they're not fighting, but they aren't in active communication.
For the sake of this post, we're call them Alice and Sue.
Alice is the older of the two -and the eldest sibling of the four of us- and the one who, as I understand it, the main cause of this dead air so to speak.
Out of the lot of us, Alice is the most like our mother in terms of temperament.
This is both a good and a bad thing, and, while not wholly her fault, it does lead to situations such as the one we're currently dealing with; Alice has recently had to leave her house and move into an apartment, and to top it all off, her husband, my brother-in-law, is in the hospital again.
So my aunt, we'll call her Jen, found out about this and offered to help her retrieve her belongings from a storage unit, because my aunt knows better than to undertake this task alone, she asked me if I would be willing to help out.
I said yes, as I haven't seen or talked to my sister in five years -she doesn't have my number, I don't have hers, I have offered to have Jen give it to her, she never got back to me, it is what it is- and figured there are worse ways to waste a Sunday.
Anyway, Sunday came and we had to reschedule last minute because of timing, not a problem, we're doing it this weekend instead.
Well, Aunt Jen asks me to see if I can't find other people to help out, and I say, "Yeah, I'll ask our brother and see if he can swing it."
And then she asks me about Sue.
Now, I already know Alice has issues with Sue, the details of which are... unclear.
The best I can explain it, is that Alice maybe has some resentment towards Sue that doesn't extend to our brother and myself since we're A LOT younger -talking two decades, folks, not one, but two-, whereas Alice and Sue are more or less a year apart.
Pretty much from jump street these two haven't gotten along, and while it may now go both ways, I have been told that hasn't always been the case, but my source on that is biased.
Read: the source is my father, who is neither Alice nor Sue's biological father, this is important for later, and he greatly favors Sue, as Sue was often mistaken for his child, whereas Alice greatly resembles our mom.
Anyway, Aunt Jen suggests the idea of having Sue help move Alice into her new home, and I express to her, not in a roundabout way, that I did not think it would be a good idea.
Which, of course, lead to questions, ones that I couldn't possibly know the answer to, and ones I was uncertain of whether or not *I* should be the one to answer.
Well, Sue found out I was going to help Alice move and she was...
Fine with it?
We talked a bit about it and she asked how long it had been since I'd seen Alice, and we talked a bit about her feelings on things.
Sue was pretty forthcoming with her reasons for not helping Alice, initially joking that she was being petty, but the truth is her reasons are not, how to put it?
They were valid reasons.
From having helped Alice move two times prior, her lack of communication/not initiating conversations, and...
...Not helping with their dad's end of life care and/or involving herself in the discussions about what they would be doing with him, but then delaying the internment indefinitely due to the chosen date not working for her personally.
Basically; Sue is tired of being the one having to reach out, and Alice is not inclined to asking for help/does not offer help when it is requested.
You're allowed to say you don't want to/can't help, but when it's a continued cycle of, "Can you...?" "No." it does tend to cause a rift.
But my aunt Jen doesn't see it that way.
She thought that maybe if Sue helped out this time, that maybe SHE would come around to talking to Alice, and that that would repair things.
I put it kind of bluntly when she asked again today and just said, "I can't be playing the middle man between these two, and I don't think it would be appropriate to force them to interact under stressful circumstances such as this."
Because, really, they might be my sisters, but they're both grown adults with jobs and families of their own, and I'm a twenty-something single nerd whose main priorities right now are not getting sick and being able to afford cat food.
If they want to talk, they'll talk, and if not, it's not my job to nudge them together, nor should it be.
It also does not help that I, too, am somewhat biased towards which sister I "like the best", but that's because one has been more present in my life and helped raise me after our mother passed, so I cannot act as a neutral party either.
It's impossible for me to go, "Well, let's hear both sides-" because I have only known one side of it for most of my life now, and that side almost adopted me when my home life was unstable as a child.
You see what I'm saying?
So when my aunt asked me why they weren't talking, I kept it as neutral as I could manage, coming from the position I am.
I want to help Alice, because she's my sister and she's needs the help, but I'm not going to drag Sue into it, because it wouldn't be good for anyone involved.
I wish I could say I can wash my hands of this situation after Sunday, but I also don't know how Sunday is going to go.
But we'll see.
And that's all you can really do.
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Can we have Michi Uchiha hcs?
Being the daughter of a best selling author and martial artists meant she had access to a lot of resources and was taught self defense
Being Boss’s youngest came with many perks, including being luxury vacations, gifts, and bodyguards
She didn’t understand that her family was unconventional in a lot of ways nor why they didn’t live with father (Madara) and her other siblings
But she was happy with living with her Mama and Papa (Hashirama). Her older half-sister, Tsunade, would even come to visit from time to time and play cards with papa
And when she did stay with Father on the weekends, she got to see her other siblings! So she would say her childhood was fun
Her father gave her what ever she wanted and spoiled her on their father daughter dates after his boring meetings. It’s how she ended up with matching diamond earrings and a necklace at 4.
Uncle Izuna let her sit in his lap most of those meetings and would cover her ears from time to time with headphones.
The grownups around would look unhappy when this happened, but Izuna would tell her later that they were just upset they couldn’t listen to music too and had to listen to fathers boring rants.
At first it was just her sisters who would play tea parties with and listen gleefully to their gossip about the different families around theirs
And Obito who was the silly older brother that always was sneaking out and ruffling her hair. Her older sister said he was adopted and she shouldn’t waste her time with him(?), but he’d always been there for her
One of her earliest memories was Obito playing with her on the playgset he seemed too big for
Then one Saturday, she was introduced to Shisui. Her new older brother.
Shisui was debonair. He could do all the dances that Obito always stepped on her feet trying to do
He never messed up her hair and let her have his pudding without her asking she didn’t have to ask, she was starring at it while practically drooling
As they all grew up and left home, Michi decided to move in with her Father per his request.
By then she knew her presence at her original home would only bring her mom and papa more problems.
She’s a Madara daughter and had an understanding that life she once perceived as normal, was anything but.
She loves her father, brothers, sisters, and uncle, but they’re very dangerous people.
More than once she has used her fathers favor to leave Obito be. He’s happier than she’s ever seen him and that’s do to his chosen family. He doesn’t need to be involved in serious crimes and possibly lose everything he’s worked for 💀
She’s a very kind and soft spoken person, will give you the short off her back if you need it. but she is also a black belt and carries a gun at all times. Don’t mess with her.
Sells handmade soaps because they make her happy 😊
She was pretty sure every man that talked to her only did so because of who her father was and what they can gain from marrying her
The idea of marriage put a bad taste in her mouth thanks to these suitors throwing themselves at her (bro, you like my dad, not me.)
But she did get heart eyes when the Hyuga angel of death stuck up for her during one of Obito’s matches.
She was seconds away from breaking that guys nose (possible connections be damned), but chivalry is not dead and he looked so cool doing it 🥹 
She’d seen him around for years at some of the meetings, so it only seemed natural that she offered to thank him with a gift of gratitude
She was aware of the side glances of the Hyuga when she and her bodyguards stepped into their territory, but given she cleared it with their boss beforehand (she wanted to thank one of his men and him, how could he say no?)
It was at that meeting that Michi gained some respect for herself from Hinata and Neji. It’s also when she personally got their phone numbers for business
But over time texting Neji and him responding within the day became the normal. He even showed up to spar with her when she invited him
She wouldn’t tell Madara about this for Neji’s safety
His proposition of a marriage blindsided her a bit. Become a Hyuga bride?! HIM TELLING HER HIS INTENTIONS IS ONLY A FORMALITY!? She thought he lost his mind
But the more he explained, the better it sounded. A wife in title only; she’s free to do as she pleases in most ways (just no additional lovers and she has to show up to at least two events a year), she’ll have her own room, a hefty allowance on top of her own earnings, live in maids and cooks, this is good way to calm both sides, only be expected to provide one heir (they can use ivf), he’s not very interested in sex but is more than confident he can preform if she decides she wants it, an official contract with all the terms that really protect her, and she can add her own stipulations to it?
All of it sounded too good to be true until he explained he’s probably going to benefit the most from their union. With their marriage, he’d be next inline to be the Hyuga boss. He’s done the footwork, he just would appreciate her cooperation 
He was basically offering her luxury life without love, which if she was honest, she never expected a love story in her life
She also wasn’t expecting her father to give her the option of what she actually wanted to do here
Her yes came under the condition that Neji would at least spend time with her. She doesn’t truly know him and would like to at least know him as a person. The goof and the bad.
Their wedding was a blur to her, expect for hearing some guy with bushy brows on Neji’s side crying loudly. Never in her life did she think she’d be married to a Hyuga
Their wedding night.. she was very surprised with herself and what he could make her body do “not very interested”, didn’t mean he was virgin like she expected
She became the wife that tries to do it all. She wasn’t allowed to clean up messes or cook at home, so it’s fun to her and she gives the staff a lot of paid for vacation days (her allowance being put to good use)
Neji trying her food makes her feel happy and him trying to make his home hers too
Half the time it’s just him politely spitting it out in a napkin and doing it over himself while telling her about a cooking class he’s heard of from Hanabi
His grumpy look when she explains on of the dramas she’s watching as he gets furious over the lead’s stupidity is the cutest in her opinion
What she’s most happy about is that he’ll cuddle her back. She hasn’t had cuddles sense she moved out of her Mom and papa’s place
She adores the cat he got for her! He’s literally the best husband If you ask her
She really like the Lee guy that’s always around and enthusiastic, he makes for a great morning run partner
She’s also the more forward one in their sex life and will make the first move if he’s looking at her with sudden interest
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I literally have over 12,000 words worth of just notes on Alpha Base, lots of it having to do with character development. There's so much that doesn't make it to Patreon because I don't have a drawing to pop up here with it and because I don't want to give away the whole story, of course. Just know that there's a lot behind the scenes at any given time.
One of the things I really like to do when I develop characters is to make sure that they're still well-rounded, nuanced people, and not just The Bad Guy and The Good Guy. I want to know where they came from, why they believe what they believe, what their relationships with those around them are really like and how those developed, what motivates them, what makes them happy, what pisses them right off, and what makes them scared? What makes them upset? What gives them nightmares? Even bad guys have nightmares. Everyone has nightmares.
One of the stories that's been important for me to know, even if I'm not sure if it's going to directly appear in the book much, is how Errick and Heinrich even met in the first place and how their friendship developed. They're from wildly different backgrounds, but neither one of them had an easy time when they were young.
Without going into too much detail, Heinrich - at the time going by his birth name, Henry - spent his early years abandoned, mistreated, and trapped in a very unpleasant situation, only got out of it by making a series of bad decisions, getting all the wrong kinds of attention, and then having someone he didn't expect stand up for him and earn him a second chance. He was so close to just falling right through the cracks.
Errick, on the other hand, comes from privilege, but that doesn't necessarily mean his life is easy street. He's the son of Alpha Base's commander, and he's next in line to take over command. The problem is that he's been constantly reminded that what he's inheriting is a sinking ship, and he's never really wanted it. His childhood was plagued by family deaths, mostly due to illness, but one was an accident that killed his big brother, Michael. His mother's death when he was twelve came just a few years later and that would have wrecked him if he hadn't had Henry around.
When they met, Henry was 14, still trying to figure out how to function after being given a new lease on life that he really didn't believe that he even deserved, and Errick was 9, missing his brother and worrying about losing his mom a lot sooner than he'd want. Errick was the one who initiated the friendship. Henry was about the same age that Michael had been, and Errick desperately needed a friend. Henry, who had never really had a proper friend, was a little awkward about it, but before long they were as close as family. Henry was there for Errick when he needed him to be, weathered tragedy with him, and got him through those rough childhood years when the only blood relation Errick had left was his dad, who was often too busy to pay much attention to his remaining kid. They've been close ever since.
Now, granted, Errick grew up to be a chronically irresponsible and violent dumbass, Heinrich's a spooky weirdo who terrorizes the populace just by walking down the street, and neither one of them is exactly good and safe to hang around with, but by golly, they're as close as brothers and I needed to know why.
They kind of saved each other.
...
Yes, okay, I gave myself feels over my villains. This is a talent I have. It's a thing I do. My day job involves a lot of Spotify and data entry so my brain goes places.
Nuance, danggit!
(For the record: Paul, mister Villain Number Three, does not have a traumatic childhood. He has two parents who get along, a little sister who he loves very much and fondly makes fun of because they're siblings, and his life's been honestly pretty boring; getting mixed up with these two train wrecks has been interesting to say the least)
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