#all of this doesn't come naturally to me

[desastreus]

-

#maybe i had more fun when i stayed invisible #i don't like the idea of many people knowing me #i spent a year socializing and now i'm kind of done #i don't regret it #i'm just tired #there are so many ways of trying to fit in #but nothing feels right because i made one close friend who really knows me and there's nothing above that feeling #trying to be known isn't working when you constantly feel like you have to change tiny bits of yourself #seem more like this #seem more like that #all of this doesn't come naturally to me #i deserve a break #i worked hard to where i am now #i learned a lot #made mistakes #but that's life #and a part of life is taking a break #so.... yeah

[tvckerwash]

wash tormenting the reds in the most petty ways possible because he's still pissed off about them hitting him with a car and then blowing him up in s8 is so important to me you don't even understand

#I'm pretty sure I've said it on my old blog before but wash is the blues older brother but to the reds? he's the neighborhood bully lmao #that scene in s13 where wash gets all the chorus soldiers to turn on grif for refusing to attend the training sessions? 100% an act of #calculated cruelty on wash's part lmao #oh oh or in s11 when wash hooked up blue base to the ships power but not the reds? also calculated lol #wash stealing all of their stuff in s10 will also always be a fav petty wash moment of mine #he is out to make them suffer and they're not even aware of it lol #rvb #agent washington #mine #not t/oaru #if i ever write my ct lives au fic I'm going so hard on petty grudge holding wash #he is an absolute menace but he's so lowkey about it that in universe trying to convince ppl that wash is as petty as he is #is nearly impossible #the only ppl aware of wash's true nature are the counselor the director ct alpha and probably maine (and maybe florida) #everyone else sees him in a similar light as his fanon characterization #that's part of the reason why i think lina was so shock in s10 when he turned his gun on her bc to her wash was always so subordinate that #she just genuinely never saw it coming #anyway wash/ct/maine friendship is so important to me. i like to include south in there too sometimes but honestly south comes off as a #loner type. like she doesn't mind ppl but no one except north is really willing to tolerate her uh....personality for long periods of time #shes very....reactive and emotionally charged #but tbh id be that way too if i was stuck with north #north unironically reminds me of my dad but not in the good way lol #god my tags are all over the place #audhd brain goes brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[shirtlessradfahrer]

I love that his bodyguard is clearly A-grade but I fucking hate that it’s come to the point that he needs one at all

I suppose it's inevitable when you get this popular but... :(

#käärijä #i know it's for the best not only for him but the whole team #but...ugh #stalkers are wild to me #because I feel like I've become as horny/insane about him as one can get #and yet I can't even begin to imagine doing anything insane enough to warrant my idol needing security #even when i was a teenager with poorer judgement skills #my self-preservation instincts have always been stronger than my love for any man lmao #but fr you gotta let your idols come to you #nothing's guaranteed ofc but it's happened to me before with a popular artist in Canada and was an amazing experience #but it only happened at all because i respected their personal space and didn't push on when the conversation had reached a natural end #NOTHING good comes out of harassing them #this seems obvious to me #or am i just too shy and introverted lol #sorry i wrote a book in the tags #oh fuck i just realized i hope his gf doesn't need one too :(

[viiinz]

everyday I think about him (Ippolit Terentyev)

#idk why of all characters he's the one that has left such an impression on me but oh boy #it's been over a year since I've read his 'explanation' and everything that followed and it hasn't left my mind since #ippolit terentyev #the idiot #god all he wanted was some sympathy and recognition #and they just make fun of him #literally all this boy wants is to be taken seriously and no one does #they either laugh at him or beg him to shut up #because his vulnerability and the fact that he's dying makes them so uncomfortable #and he's so ashamed as well over his own vulnerbility #that even when people aren't laughing at him he'll imagine they are #and people blame him for being self absorbed?? like of course he is!! #he's EIGHTEEN and DYING #this is a teenager who's just come to the realisation that he has no agency over his life whatsoever #and that all that awaits him are the cruel laws of nature #he has a right to be upset about that #he's literally the man condemned to death that myshkin talked about #and yes he's ridiculous and awkward and not always right and incoherent and all that #and he can really be insufferable and contemptuous and unfeeling towards others #and even the state he's in doesn't really serve as an excuse for that #yet i feel bad for him #and he's such a teenager too he's so insecure and just wants to impress the people around him #and yes he's doing it for attention #of course he wants attention #can you blame him?? #all he wants is to be heard #to feel like his life mattered #but instead everyone's just begging him to shut up #like they're just waiting for him to kick the bucket so the uncomfortable ordeal can be over with #sorry i just have a lot of thoughts about Ippolit and I'm being very incoherent because i didn't plan on typing all this lol

[moe-broey]

THE MILFS ARE FIIIIIIIIIGHTINGGGGGGGGGG

#feh #and. sothis #i feel legally obligated to join henriette's team obviously #and you know as far as moms go henriette isn't bad! just a bit absent (obvs due to the nature of her position) #but also something that has always stuck w me about her is ..... there is something off. about her. #like i don't think she's a bad person or even a bad mom. she just seems like. she's hiding something. #i have always been equally put off and intrigued by her. #LIKE. OKAY ANOTHER THOUGHT i think i've voiced before but when sharena comes off as 'fake nice' #it doesn't FEEL fake. it feels overplayed and forced but it's so geniune actually. she is just fighting for her life #to pass a social interaction and make a new friend #meanwhile henriette's 'fake nice' feels like. she knows something all of us don't. she knows something that died w gustav. #she has always felt. foreboding. #also doesn't help though that i inherently distrust mother figures LMFAOOOOO #LIKE. coin flip between 'oh she's a good mom i'm gonna cry forever now' and setting off my fight or flight response LMFAO #no need to dig into that! #fe henriette #<- just for henriette thoughts

[lylahammar]

u ever see someone laugh REALLY hard at something or say that something is funny and it actually catches you by surprise and confounds u bc u genuinely can't figure out what part of it is meant to be humorous

#this is kinda rhetorical I know most ppl experience this sometimes lmao #I mainly think this with boomer comedy #but also there are some ppl whose sense of humor I just truly do not understand 😅 #I've also always struggled with faking laughter it just doesn't come naturally to me #so if everyone in the room is laughin at somethin that's not funny at all to me I'll just be like 😐 #for the record no I am not autistic just ADHD lol #lyla's talking again

[mewtwo24]

I just watched s2 episode 10 in the english dub and I have to say. Nothing could have prepared me for Howard's delivery of that final scene where Xie Lian gets worked up about the truth coming out.

The just...sincerely agonized delivery of "That my words were the empty ramblings of a sad child!!" shook me to the core. The absolute self-loathing in that line, the raw emotion. The way concealing the truth was done to spare Lang Qianqiu but also at its heart was about Xie Lian's unresolved feelings of humiliation and shame, the way [redacted] did everything in his power to make Xie Lian lose faith in himself and the possibility of good prevailing in the world.

The way TGCF keeps me up at night, man...

#tgcf #xie lian #lang qianqiu #the runner-up line that devastated me too was: 'it's the least of what I DESERVE!!!' #i dont think there are words to describe how that made hua cheng feel knowing all that he does (from his time as wu ming) #legitimately its on the spectrum of mantis shrimp im guessing bc i can't fathom trying to put it into words either #the way xie lian won't stop punishing himself for wishing for better--for wishing for peace and collaboration--even 800 years later #the way he continues to take responsibility for all the wrongs others commit--the way he deems himself a failure -> #for things he simply could not change or did not purposefully incite. the way he won't stop punishing himself when things go wrong #i honestly cant get over how acutely xl feels like the result of gifted child syndrome #having all of these grandiose expectations placed on him and doing his utmost to uphold them at any cost #doing everything he can to the point of self-destruction to do the right thing #only to end up hated in the end when he proved to have limits--even as a god #and discarded despite his efforts; ultimately deemed worthless for not measuring up to what were impossible/rigged standards from the get g #and like . the way up to this point they made the creative decision to make xie lian's emotional range fairly static #not that he's unfeeling but that he doesn't tend to raise his voice or express anything extreme (for good reason) #until this precise moment where it all comes flying apart with so many old scars torn open #absolutely fantastic im on the ground #honestly i feel like i forget how difficult a decision this had to be for hua cheng #i mean naturally he chose this because he wanted xie lian absolved #and ultimately xie lian really does need to stop the self-flagellation--he takes it too far #but watching him tremble with fear haunted by the echoes of what he almost became #fucking cHRIST

[musical-chick-13]

Regarding the previous post, I think the way I approach trying to evaluate a piece of art is asking "Do I think the positive things I get out of it outweigh the parts of it that I don't like?" And when I call something a "guilty pleasure" song/show/book/piece of media/etc. it's really more in the sense of, "Given who I am as a person, the flaws I've found in this should be complete dealbreakers for me, but somehow they aren't, and it makes me feel like I'm having an identity crisis."

#like. I think something like...idk shiki or cxgf excels on multiple levels. I understand why I like them. given the things I look for in art #it makes sense that these shows would speak to me because they make the effort to showcase those things I look for. because the people #in charge of those works clearly valued the same kinds of things and cared about seriously exploring them. #but with something like. uh. ctrlz. that is NOT the case and I frequently found myself going 'why would anyone make this writing #decision?' but I still sat through all 3 seasons of it! I still really enjoyed it! those flaws SHOULD have made me give up according to #personal history but they never did. and I very very much genuinely question why. I have NO IDEA why I still care about this #silly convoluted teen drama show so much. but I do. I wrote SO MANY FUCKING POSTS ABOUT IT. #I really love wicked the musical. I've heard many people call it 'hokey' or 'cheesy' or 'objectively bad' but here's the thing! I DON'T #think it's bad!!! like literally at all!!!!!! and it does do some genuinely cool things in regard to the music and the way the characters #develop and what the show says about the nature of prejudice and human connection. is it like. idk Serious™ the way that something like #Parade is? no. but it doesn't have to be. it does what it sets out to do and it does it well and this is why the whole '''objective #evaluation''' thing doesn't actually mean anything. I value thoughtfully-constructed music and dynamic female characters #(which this musical has). I value stories that deal with the complex and messy feelings that come with being a human (which this musical #has). I value stories about 'other'ness and romantic subplots that aren't just built on 'This Girl Is Pretty' (which this musical has). #and I value professional displays of technical vocal ability because I know how fucking DIFFICULT that is (which this musical...if you cast #it well...has). #if you value something else in a musical then yeah you will probably think THIS one is '''objectively bad''' #if you don't see the point of musicals as an art form you will probably think wicked is '''objectively bad''' #do you see where the problem with categorizing analysis like this is??

[inkblot-inc]

Okay but Skitch being a dork and wearing a headlamp to do Wanda’s nails cause “the overhead lights in this room suck, Wands” and the whole time they’re so focused on Wanda’s nails their tongue is poking out of the corner of their mouth a little. It’s silly and totally makes wanda swoon

This is very much on-brand 😌

I can just see Skitch realizing it's too dark in the room to properly see, like "this simply just won't do," so they go and get their older headlamp from their work desk in the garage 😂

#rough cut diamonds #skitch going that extra step fr #i said they would get the basics to do wanda's nails but come on #we all know that natural light doesn't go far or last long enough #and the room light only helps but so much #plus the headlamp just makes sense #you can't convince me any different #and IT WORKS #so ion wanna hear any slander #wanda's definitely swooning while watching skitch adjust the light on their head too #like- just look at this dork #wanda and skitch time #jeweler!wanda #skitch #wanda maximoff #metalworker!reader #wanda maximoff x reader #rcd.headcanons #ib/skitch #ink.wanda #ib-jc.

[dandelionandkrindle]

15 questions + 15 friends

Tagged by @rebeccamarinwife (thank you 💜)

Are you named after anyone? Technically my mom, as in my current name was her middle name at birth, but we've both had so many legal name changes that it's lost any meaning

Last time you cried? Yesterday

Do you have kids? No, but I do want them

What sports did you/have you played? Almost literally every single one. I was a total jock in school

Do you use sarcasm? Frequently

First thing you notice about people? Hair

Eye color? Blue

Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies

Any talents? Not really 'talents' so much as skills but I'm very good at sports and good with animals

Where were you born? Adelaide

Hobbies? Reading, cooking, playing video games, gif making, and learning languages

Have any pets? Otto my Dalmatian and Hades my tuxedo cat. Gangsta Felix the stray tabby we adopted passed away over Christmas. I miss him terribly

How tall are you? 5"3

Favorite subject in school? English

Dream Job? Tennis coach

#i really hate the term 'talents' like lmao no one is a born natural at anything #they all had to work really fuckin hard to get good at that thing #also the kids question got me feelin emo bc i remembered serin and i talked abt naming our daughter yağmur which means rain in turkish #bc we both love the rain #i do feel a bit like i'll die if that doesn't come to pass #asks

[nipuni]

AAAAHH I’m so behind on asks 😭 Thank you everyone for the lovely messages!! I’m so sorry I’m very slow to reply I’m not good at keeping up with social media and these past few months I haven’t been online much. I feel weird answering month’s old asks so late but I’ve read all of them and honestly they are some of the kindest things I’ve been told and you can’t imagine how happy they make me, it’s been a very weird time for artists lately but knowing that there are people out there that enjoy what I do along with me has always been my greatest joy 😭❤️

#nips replies #I'm severely lacking in social skills #I'm trying to communicate that I love you #and I love hearing from you #I want to talk more!! it doesn't come very naturally to me aaaaa #online that is..I do talk a lot in person but sadly I can't invite you all over for tea but that would be ideal

[vilevampire]

I've never received so much psychic damage from reading something in a fic as I have today reading a paragraph referring to f1t as p4c's "best friend and most trusted companion" with no mention to m1ke at all

#names all censored because I don't want this to appear in any search results I just want to complain without affecting anybody #lucasings #and I'm saying this as someone who looves f1tpac like I see them and I go meus pais meus pais !! #I just really don't like the q!m1ke erasure especially when it's to make f1t the most important person in p4c's life #I'm already disappointed every day by the little amount of p4c and m1ke content there is compared to h1deduo #and in general the amount of ppl who sometimes seem to forget m1ke exists at all when talking about p4c's character #which I kinda get bc he's hasn't been able to log on for a good while now #but like. the most important person in q!p4c's life IS q!m1ke and viceversa and there is absolutely nothing that will change that #they've been life partners for over 10 years. their existence in each other's lives is irreplaceable and non-negotiable. #just bc their relationship is not romantic in nature that doesn't make it less significant #and this will not change regardless if q!p4c starts dating someone or not #nobody come @ me ok I'm just an arospec little guy who believes in queerplatonic q!t4zercraft supremacy #I still want q!f1t and q!p4c to smooch and stuff and for the fandom to keep making content of them #I just don't want that relationship to take precedence/priority over q!t4zercraft's platonic relationship #bc you and I both know the reason any of this is happening at all is because there's such a tendency to ignore platonic relationships in #media and favor the romantic relationships as if they're inherently more important #anyway. rant over :3 #I'm going to see if I can turn on my pc without it exploding bc of the fucking heatwave. bye bye

[hella1975]

some people really still treat drugs like it's a fun little thing and im trying SO hard not to get mad about it

#like okay so the set-up is this my flatmate (F) is chronically ill and is on immunosuppressants as well as a fuckton of other stuff #and she started smoking weed bc it's the only thing she's ever found that even touches her pain #ive NEVER had a problem with that ive never had a problem with WEED even IVE done it a couple times #but me and her have VERY different attitudes towards drugs #i came from a hometown where we were between two notoriously drug-high towns/cities and we get caught in a lot of the trading #between those towns so naturally my town just generated a fuck ton of dealers starting when they were like. thirteen years old #i saw it through my entire year i was exposed to class A drugs when i was like. fifteen at parties and shit #it's HUGE in my town i seriously can't express how much it's crippled the youth of my town #like my childhood best mate's brother literally got glassed bc he got into debt with dealers it's just everywhere #so that alone makes me very wary of drugs and like. the novelty of them is just NOT THERE for me at all i actively dislike them #AND THEN there's all the kids in my year that have died bc of substances. there's the phone call when i was AT A PARTY #that my seventeen year old cousin had OD'd. like that just summed it up for me it's so prevelant that i was at a party with drugs #while he was dying. so yeah wholeheartedly i couldn't give a shit about drugs i wont touch anything stronger than weed and even that #im not keen on. my flatmate however? she DOES drugs like she smokes regularly and she likes edibles #but she doesn't come from a druggy place so it's a weird combo of me (doesn't do drugs) knowing more than her (does do drugs) #and bc she's the one who actually does them she pure WONT LISTEN TO ME #and do u know what happened last night? this girl on IMMUNOSUPPRESSANTS got completely fucked #like drank 2/3 of a big bottle of vodka within an hour. and then she fucking went and did ket #and i literally was like 'that would be an awful idea anyway but ket you're REALLY supposed to not mix with alcohol' #like obvs mixing any high class drugs is bad news but ket is renowned for going bad with alcohol #i think it's bc it shuts off the opposite side of the brain that alcohol does? so taking both increases risk of shutting the whole thing of #or smthn. like people forget than an overdose isn't always fatal and i think bc they associate overdosing = dying #they assume the risk is EXTREMELY low especially when ur young and feel untouchable #AND THEN she smoked some weed as well. like i literally sat sober with her and her mate the entire time and again in the kitchen #bc i thought id distracted her from the weed and sitting with her she thought i was just hanging out #like NO BITCH IM MAKING SURE YOU DONT KHOLE BC YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO LISTEN TO ME #and i hardly slept last night bc i convinced myself when i woke up she'd be dead in her room #and we had such a nice day planned today like it's super sunny and me F and another mate are spending the whole day at the park #but she's just cancelled bc she feels too shit and im just. TRYING not to be angry about it #WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SO DUMB

[chimeric-art]

Copycat!

#I've never gotten a feel for doing chibi stuff #it doesn't come naturally to me at all u_u #so I decided to crack out of my art block with an experiment #rain #shadow au #my characters #my art

[mythicandco]

thinking abt the blorbos but they aren’t even rotating. they’re just sitting there and it’s very intense

#mark is just. ''so uh.'' #he kinda. fidgets with the hem of his jacket. brings his fingers up to his mouth to chew his nails but catches himself and fiddles with his #crucifix instead. his heart's still hammering in his chest and there's some exhaustion coming on now #cesar uh. cesar's sitting unnaturally still (naturally) and watching mark's mannerisms. neither of them uh. they don't know what to say #I mean. what CAN you say #when faced with the perfect image of your dead best friend. exactly as you remember him all those years ago. #when faced with the one who accidentally made you human. and then killed you. and now you're back. #oh god. he's back. #and Adam. oh don't #don't get me started on Adam #he's been staring at the mirror since three thirty am and it's SIX now #his knuckles are bloody but he. doesn't remember punching it #the shadows behind him are almost swimming. they're calling him and he swallows his nausea #the mirror is cracked and it drips but not with blood #''morning sleepy h- what the fuck.'' that's Jonah. of course it's Jonah. it's always fucking Jonah. #Adam blinks and the mirror's fine and Jonah's fine and no one's eyes are glazed over in death. it’s fine really lol #and they're still just. sitting there #y'know how it is. the blorbos. lol #htb AU #hail true body au

[xxcherrycherixx]

blondie crouches down by cupid and one of the dragon hatchlings, the creature is the smallest of its litter and super clumsy. she giggles as it trips over its own claw while cupid coos and sets the baby back on its feet. blondie watches the way her girlfriend acts so motherly with the dragon, it makes her think about an imaginary future where cupid coos at a child of their own like that. she blushes at the idea of them having kids, she knows its much too early to think about that kind of thing, but her heart yearns for that kind of domesticity. blondie knows she wants kids, and seeing her girlfriend be so good with children gets her hopes up that maybe cupid will want children one day too.

“whats with that look?” cupid asks teasingly, bondie bites her lip and decides to ask the question "will you ever want kids? i mean, i know its much too early in our relationship to be asking this but- i have always seen myself having children and seeing you act like this has made me think about it“ cupid looks taken off guard but scoots closer to her girlfriend, taking her hand sweetly ”i would love to have kids one day. and i would love if- when the time comes - it can be with you."

blondie flushes and giggles embarrassed, cupid joins and affectionately leans into her shoulder.

meanwhile the little baby dragon continues to bounce about having fun in its own little world.

#ever after high #c.a cupid #blondie lockes #heartlockes #now hear me out/ im not a big kid fic person BUT #maybe these two can have some little ones to look after :3 i 100% believe blondie is the kind to want kids. like first of all there needs- #-to be another Goldilocks and as a firm royal she would make sure she had a child to fulfill that destiny. but she also gives lonely vibes- #-she pushes herself into others lives hoping they will be her friend like with the royals and the bears. i think she would want a big famil #so she doesn't feel that way anymore. and cupid loves domestic romance/ a small little place with her wife and some children seems right up #-her alley. shes naturally maternal and comes from a very big family/ i think she would love to raise plenty of children with blondie.