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takemeawaytocamelot · 7 years

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A Wild Night in Vegas -- Part 19

I can’t believe how quickly @outlandishchridhe and I got this chapter written. We sat down for a few hours and BOOM! Chapter 19 was born! This is a major set up chapter that will lead into some really amazing things we’ve got planned for the future. So stay tuned!

Also, Ish is IN LOVE with all the little baby things Fergus does, so I added as many as I could just to make her squeak.

Check out chapter 18.3 HERE or the whole fic on AO3 HERE

Waving at his wife and son, Jamie left for work. His day went smoothly, though his mind wandered to Murtagh. He hadn’t seen or spoken to his godfather since the showdown with Claire. When lunch rolled around, Jamie took the time to call Murtagh.

“Fraser,” came the gruff voice on the other end of the line.

“Murtagh, it’s Jamie.”

“Took yer sweet time callin’ me back,” the other man muttered.

Jamie sighed and got his thoughts in order.

“I have some things I need to say to ye and I need for ye to listen. Can ye do that? Wi’out interrupting?”

“Aye,” Murtagh said. “I can.”

“I’ve spoken wi’ Claire about why she snapped at ye. I’m sorry for what she said to ye and I ken she is as well. But ye must know something. She and Fergus are my life, Murtagh. This relationship I have wi’ her is the most precious thing I’ve ever had. I’ll no’ let it fall by the wayside. Do ye understand?”

There was a long pause and Jamie wondered if his phone had died.

“Aye. And I’m no’ tellin’ ye to abandon yer family, ken? I’m only sayin’-”

“No,” Jamie said sharply. “I willna gi’ them up. No’ for anything. You’re my family, Murtagh, but if ye force me to choose between you and Claire, I’ll pick her. Ye might want to keep that in mind next time ye come by.”

Jamie waited patiently for Murtagh to formulate his response.

“Maybe yer right, lad,” he said. “Ye arene the same man that left Lallybroch, that’s for sure. I ken I had no right to demand ye leave yer pregnant wife behind. And I havena treated her verra well since. Pass on my apology?”

“Aye. But ye can apologize to her in person when we have ye over sometime. I canna say when, I have to talk wi’ Claire first.”

“Of course, ye should speak wi’ her about it first. Do ye have some time?”

Taking a bite of his sandwich, Jamie nodded.

“Aye, I’ve a few minutes. Why?”

“There’s some things I think ye need to hear, about yer family.”

For a moment, his blood ran cold.

“What’s happened? Is everyone alright?”

“Oh aye. Everyone’s doing verra well. I want ye to consider taking a trip to see them. Introduce them to yer wife and son.”

“After what happened? They dinna want to see me. No’ after the way I left.”

Jamie took a long drink from his bottle of water, trying to ignore the feelings that came with thinking about his family.

“Christ, lad. Yer mam cornered me no’ long after ye left and begged me to find ye. They miss ye and want ye to come home. I spoke wi’ Ellen a few days ago and she wants to see ye.”

“Ye expect me to just show up at Lallybroch wi’ my Sassenach wife and newborn son in tow?”

“Well ye did just get through wi’ tellin’ me ye’d no’ leave them behind. I’m no’ sayin’ it needs to be right now. Just think on it a bit, aye? Talk to yer Claire.”

“Aye,” Jamie said, mind racing at the new possibilities. “I’ll think it over. I need to get goin’.”

Jamie gathered up his garbage from his lunch and threw it away.

“I’ll let ye go, then. Thanks for callin’.”

“I’ll see ye later, Murtagh.”

####

Claire and Fergus waved Jamie off as he left for work. Once he was gone, she turned her son and smiled at him.

“Alright my darling, how about we go out for a little while?”

He stared up at her, mouth opening and closing with a soft popping sound.

“My thoughts exactly. Come on. A few of my friends are working at my old job and I know they’d love to see you.”

Claire parked the car in the lot outside Springs Preserve and settled Fergus into his sling. She walked the grounds for some time, enjoying the sunny spring day, murmuring softly to Fergus as he gazed up at her, wide awake.

“Claire? Is that you, Claire?!”

She turned at the sound of the happy voice and grinned as a woman bustled over to her.

“Mrs. Fitz! Oh it’s so good to see you!” Claire exclaimed, returning the woman’s hug, trying to not squish Fergus between them.

“You too! Last I saw you, it looked like you were ready to pop!”

“Well, this is him. Fergus Fraser, meet Mrs. Fitz.”

Claire maneuvered and got Fergus out of the sling so Mrs. Fitz could see him.

“Oooh he’s so handsome, Claire! Those eyes!”

“He takes a bit after his father. But he’s a good lad,” Claire joked, cooing softly at Fergus as his eyes tried to focus.

“Ooohhh! That handsome knight you told me about?”

“One and the same.”

Mrs. Fitz squeaked in joy and clapped her hands.

“Are you here for a few minutes? I’m about to go on my break and I’d love to treat you to lunch.”

“We’d love that! How about we wait here for you?”

“Perfect! I’ll be back soon!”

Claire found a small bench and sat, cradling Fergus against her.

“Now that is Mrs. Fitz. She’s one of the reasons I enjoyed working here. She is quite a character, but a very sweet woman.”

When Glynnis returned, she bustled over and lead the way to the cafe. Once they were seated, Claire tried to get Fergus comfortable in her arms.

“He’s a beautiful boy, Claire. I’m so pleased for you.”

“I didn’t think…” she looked down at the little boy. “I didn’t think I’d love him so much.”

“Motherhood suits you.”

The waiter came by and took their lunch orders, leaving them in peace once more.

“Would you like to hold him?”

Glynnis’ face lit up and she gasped.

“Oh! I would love to! It’s been such a long time since I’ve held one so small.”

Claire handed the baby over and laughed as Fergus cooed up at this new face. It was delightful to have some time out with a friend. She and Glynnis talked and caught up all through lunch. When she had to return to work, Claire promised to have her over for dinner.

Glancing at her watch, Claire decided to wander around the preserve for a little while longer. Jamie wouldn’t be home for a few more hours and she was enjoying the sunshine.

“Alright, little one,” she said to her son. “I’m going to tell you something but you have to promise you won’t tell your da.”

With his tiny fist in his mouth, he looked up at her.

“Good. I’ll hold you to your word. But… I’m working on a surprise for him. Our first anniversary is coming up soon and I wanted to do something special. So would you like to help me?”

She smiled down at Fergus and he gave her a slobbery grin in return. Deciding they’d been out long enough, Claire buckled him back into his seat and drove home. After all his excitement, Fergus was asleep before she got back, so she settled him in for a nap. That gave her a few minutes to clean up a little and get the leftovers warmed up before Jamie came home.

####

Claire sat down at the table with the project she’d been working on for the last week. Fergus burbled happily in his bouncy chair, fumbling with one of his stuffed toys. She finished the last piece of the gift and put it all together.

“There,” she said to her son. “Do you think your da will like it?”

Fergus looked up at her, completely unaware, arms starting to wave around erratically.

“Yes, I think so too! Now I just have to get dinner together and in the oven, so you just sit tight.”

Gathering her supplies together, she followed a recipe she’d found for a cheesy chicken broccoli casserole. Once it was cooking in the oven, she cleaned the table and set out the dishes. She changed Fergus into his wee kilt before sliding into her own black dress. Claire smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror, remembering the last time she’d worn this.

The memory of watching him joust and fight in his knight’s costume made her smile. That night had been the first flower he’d given her. Now they had a son and had reached their first anniversary.

When the keys clicked in the door, she gathered her son up into her arms and went out to greet the man of the house.

“Sassenach, I’m home,” he called over his shoulder, putting his keys on the hook.

“So I see,” she said, waiting for him to turn around.

He held a small bouquet of roses in his hand when he turned around and his mouth fell open.

“Happy first anniversary,” Claire said, smiling brightly at him.

“Claire…” he breathed, eyes taking in everything she’d done. “Ye look…”

His mouth opened and closed half a dozen times as he tried to find the words.

“Well,” she said, walking toward him. “Fergus and I thought it was important that we celebrate this properly. So I’ve got dinner ready and a gift for you.”

He looked away from her, his ears turning a little pink.

“We havena talked much about what our actual anniversary is, so… I didna ken when ye wanted to celebrate it. I ordered somethin’ for ye, but it’s no’ come yet.” He paused for a moment, before adding uncertainly, “I brought ye flowers in case ye wanted to do somethin’ tonight.”

“That’s alright, darling,” she said, smiling softly at his wavering voice. “We’ll do something special later for our other anniversary.”

Jamie nodded, lurching forward as Fergus decided he wanted Da rather than Mum. He took the boy into his own arms, giving Claire the roses and accepting her quick kiss.

“Aye, mo chridhe. We’ll do something verra nice. And look at my braw lad! Wearin’ his kilt like a proper Fraser!”

Claire lit the candles and set the table. The casserole sat in the center with a nice cucumber salad beside it. Jamie walked around the front room, bouncing Fergus as he moved.

“We agreed we should both dress for the occasion.”

Jamie tore his eyes from his son and gave his wife a proper once-over.

“Ye look verra bonnie, lass.”

She turned in a slow circle.

“Do you recognize the dress?”

“Aye,” he said, settling Fergus in his bouncy chair again. “Ye wore it when ye came to watch my show.”

He came around the table to stand closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“You really remembered it from that night?”

Jamie nodded slowly.

“Of course I do,” he said softly. “We went on a proper date that night. How could I ever forget that?”

“You,” she said, draping her arms around his neck. “Are a rare sort of man.”

He smiled and kissed her.

“Indeed I am.”

Jamie pulled her chair out for her and helped her settle close to the table. With a large spoon, he dished up the casserole for both of them before taking his own seat.

“Fergus seems to be gettin’ bigger,” Jamie said, stabbing a cucumber with his fork.

“He is! He’s growing very well, right in line with where he should be.”

Jamie stared at the cucumber on his fork for a minute before he spoke again.

“Is he big enough, ye think, for a trip on an airplane?”

Claire chewed slowly, looking up at him.

“A trip where?”

“Scotland. The three of us could go together.”

He busied himself with his salad, giving her a few minutes to sort through what he’d said.

“You want to go to Scotland?”

“I… I dinna ken yet. But I willna go wi’out you and Fergus,” he added quickly, remembering her anxiety.

She sighed, setting down her silverware.

“Why do you want to go?”

Jamie took his time in answering, getting his thoughts into order.

“D’ye ken what ye said to me when ye had Fergus’ kilt made?”

She nodded.

“I wanted our son to know about his family history.”

“Scotland is a part of that history,” Jamie said. “I want him to ken his family, to meet his granny and grandsire, to meet his auntie.”

Claire watched him for a long moment before reaching out and taking his hand.

“But that isn’t all of it,” she said, her voice gentle.

Staring down at their hands, he took a deep breath.

“Ye ken me too well, it seems. No, that isne all of it. It’s… Since Murtagh came and found me, it’s been weighing on me.”

“What has?”

“The last conversation I had wi’ my Da, all of it. I thought… I thought he hated me and when I learned about his stroke, I blamed myself. I ken I canna cause a stroke, but it all felt like that. I ken he’s alive, but nothing more than that. I hate that the last words we said to each other were full of anger.”

Claire gave his hand a squeeze.

“So you want to try and make amends?”

“What amends I can, at least. I canna take back what I said, or gi’ back the years lost between us. But I can speak wi’ him, introduce him to my wife and son. Maybe begin repairs on our relationship.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Jamie. I think we can start looking into how to make that happen.”

He looked up at her, eyes wide and bright.

“Ye mean it? We’ll go to Scotland?”

“Did you think I’d say no?” she asked him, a short laugh erupting from her at his astonished face. “Scotland is your home. I couldn’t bear it if I was the reason you never went back. So long as you take me with you. Take us with you.”

“When I moved to America, I didna ken when, if ever, I’d get back to Scotland. But it hasne bothered me since I met ye, for you are my home.”

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back softly.

“And you are mine, Jamie. I love you.”

“I love ye too, Sassenach.”

With an immense weight off his shoulders, he dove back into his dinner. Claire got up and poured him a generous dram of whisky before pouring herself a glass of sparkling cider. It was a non-alcoholic drink, which made her more comfortable with it.

Leaving the dishes rinsed in the sink, Claire ushered him to the couch while she tended Fergus.

“I’ve got a gift for you,” she said, sitting beside him.

“Have ye? Claire, ye didna need to get me anything.”

Her eyes rolled.

“Just open it.”

Smiling, he tore the wrapping paper to reveal a picture frame. He frowned down at it, trying to understand what he was seeing.

“I saw this idea on the internet,” she admitted sheepishly. “And I decided to make one for you. Each of those is a location that was important to us.”

She pointed to the first and he realized it was a cut out of a map with a small heart drawn on it.

“That was the bar I worked at, where we first met.”

He nodded, looking to the second.

“Ah! My old job at Excalibur!”

The third was the address of his old apartment, where they’d lived before Fergus was born.

“Okay, I dinna ken what this one is.”

“Well, it’s sort of our firsts. First jobs, first place we lived. That’s our first vacation together, when I took you to Colorado.”

Closing his eyes, he could remember those cool nights spent cuddling together near the fire, or teaching her how to fish. A faint tinge of bitterness swept through the happy thoughts as he remembered his decision to let her go. He’d already fallen in love with her, but she hadn’t fallen for him.

“Hey,” she said softly, her hand gentle on his cheek. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head.

“Nothin’. Just rememberin’ things. What’s the next first?”

She hesitated a moment before looking back down at the map cut outs.

“Oh! That was our first time at Lake Mead.”

“And the hospital where Fergus was born.”

They smiled at the second to last cut out.

“The first place we got together,” he said, kissing her cheek.

“Our home, wi’ our son.”

The final piece was blank, Claire’s fine handwritten ‘Our Future’ replacing the map pieces.

“I was thinking… When I made this, I decided to leave this blank so we could fill it in later if we wanted. But… Maybe, in the future, we could put Scotland there.”

He nodded, grinning.

“Aye, Sassenach. I think that would do verra well. Thank ye, lass. This was a lovely gift. I’m sorry yours isne here yet.”

“Don’t be sorry, love,” she said, leaning over to kiss him. “We hadn’t talked about it. And I think we should celebrate our other anniversary too. That one is just as important as this.”

“Aye, it is.”

They cuddled on the couch for a little while before Claire fed Fergus and put him to bed. Jamie groaned and stretched before he too got up.

“Come to bed with me?” she asked sweetly, batting her lashes at him.

“Aye, in a moment. I didna get to shower after work. I stink to high heaven.”

“Alright.”

Jamie headed for the shower, already unbuttoning his shirt. He turned on the shower to let the water warm before he turned to close the door. Claire stood in the doorway, watching him with open appreciation.

“Fergus is fast asleep,” she said, walking slowly into the bathroom and placing the baby monitor on the counter.

“Aye, he is.”

“So I thought…” she trailed off as she took the pins out of her hair. “Maybe since our alone time is so rare…” reaching behind her, she began to unzip her dress. “I should join you.”

He smiled slowly, moving to help her out of her dress.

“Oohh… I canna complain about that, Sassenach.”

It was his turn to enjoy the sights as she stepped out of her panties and let her bra drop to the floor. Quickly, the rest of his clothes joined hers on the floor and he offered his hand. She took it and followed him into the warm water.

The water pelted his back as he brought her with him. She brought herself closer and reached up to kiss him. Her left hand began a downward descent, but he grabbed her wrist and shook his head.

“Nay, lass. Ye made me a fine dinner and took the time to make me a wonderful gift for our anniversary. Let me love ye.”

For a few moments, he kissed her hungrily, hands wandering aimlessly over her whole body. His lips traveled down her neck, pausing to nip here and there. His hands finally settled on her backside, squeezing firmly.

Making his way down her chest, he nipped a circle around one breast. In answer to his ministrations, Claire moaned just loud enough to hear over the water.

“Harder, Jamie, please,” she panted, squirming against his mouth as he finally, gently, bit down right where she wanted him and suckled against her.

She moaned again, spurring him on to the other breast, following her chest as it heaved with each breath.

“Ahh!” she cried out as he moved to push her against the tile wall again, cold against her heated skin as he skimmed himself further down her body, pausing to kiss and nip her sensitive skin as he went.

Her hand fisted in his hair as he reached his target. He gently pushed one leg out a little, granting him easier access. The sweet, heady scent of her surrounded him, filling his lungs with each breath.

“Oohhh…” she moaned.

He smiled to himself as she began directing him with the hand in his hair. She continued to squeak as he tasted her, growing ever closer to her climax. But he had other plans.

Standing suddenly, he caught her as she sagged against the wall. She was panting heavily now, her mouth hanging open.

“Why did you stop!?”

“I’m no’ ready to let ye off just yet.”

“Bastard,” she wheezed.

He chuckled, hooking one leg around his hip.

“Do ye ken, mo graidh, how much has changed in a year? How ye turned my life upside down and showed me all I was missing?”

As he spoke, he probed a finger into her.

“Jesus H…”

“Ye’ve given me so much, Claire, and I dinna just mean Fergus. Ye truly gave me something I’ve never had, not wi’ any other person. I love ye.”

“It’s the same for me,” she whined into his ear. “I love you too, Jamie, but…” her back arched a little and she gasped as he added a second finger. “Christ! Please, Jamie! Stop torturing me, damn it!”

Kissing her deeply, he reached underneath her arse and hitched her other leg up around his hip. One arm stayed entwined around his neck as her other reached between them to guide him home. He pushed in hard, making her breath catch and a high pitched noise leave her throat as her had raced back up behind his head and into his hair, holding on tight.

“Yes! Oh God, Jamie!”

Sensitized as she was, she didn’t last long. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as her body shook and contracted around him. Keeping his hold on her, he moved until he reached his own end. He muttered quiet praises in Gaelic in her ear, trying to catch his breath.

“Happy anniversary,” she said with a lazy, sated smile on her lips, leg still wrapped around him.

“Aye,” he answered, kissing that smile. “Happy anniversary indeed. I canna wait to see what the next year brings us.”

He turned the water off and they toweled each other dry. They crawled into their bed, tangling arms and legs together. Claire started to get up when she realized they’d left the baby monitor in the bathroom, but Jamie stopped her.

With the monitor within earshot, he settled in beside her, holding her body close.

“You don’t work tomorrow,” she said quietly, tracing the lines on his face.

“Aye. It’s my day off.”

“What would you say to having breakfast in bed tomorrow? Having an exceptionally lazy day in bed?”

He gently bit the bottom of her ear and smiled.

“Mmm. I could go for a full English breakfast tomorrow.”

“What if I want a Scottish breakfast?”

“Och, well I’ll no’ deprive ye of that! I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see who gets to eat first.”

She giggled and kissed him sweetly.

“I do love you.”

“And I love you. Thank ye for doing all this today. And for agreeing to go to Scotland, Sassenach. I canna tell ye how it lightened my heart to hear ye say those words.”

“Whatever comes, we’ll face it together. As a family.”

“Aye, mo chridhe. As a family.”

Jamie pulled her close, tucking her into the hollow in his shoulder as he kissed the top of her head, and settled in to sleep.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #a wild night in vegas au #jamie x claire #also featuring: baby fergus #takemeawaytocamelot #outlandishchridhe #we did this chapter in like three hours #and it's so short!#one chapter in one chunk!#but i love us #we're amazing

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fergusandmarsali · 3 years

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Fergus & Marsali Fan Fiction: A Collection

Welcome to my collection of Fergus, Marsali and Fersali fan fiction featuring:

Fersali (Main) + (Secondary)

Fergus (Main) + (Secondary)

Marsali (Main) + (Secondary)

Other Stories Worth Reading

Starting Young by @fergusandmarsali

When Marsali is too ill to assist Claire in the surgery, Germain decides to become Grandmère’s newest apprentice and, while neither hurt nor ill, Grandpère is the very first patient he tends to. A fluffy one-shot set during early Season 5.

#outlander #fan fiction #fersali #fergus fraser #marsali fraser #a collection

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flyinghome-againstthewind · 3 years

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the best by far is you: chapter 19

Read on AO3

Previous Chapter

For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you - Cecilia and the satellite

————

Summary: An exploration of Claire & Jamie’s story if their firstborn had lived and they had the chance to be parents together of wee Faith Fraser before the Battle of Culloden.

Chapter 19

“‒And so I stole coins from those filthy bast‒”

“Fergus. Watch your tongue.”

Jamie worked hard to suppress his smile as Fergus shot Claire a look that clearly said she’d taken the wind out his sails with her chiding ‒ right at the height of his story. Claire was none the wiser, having hardly looked up from her work to scold Fergus.

“Mind that Faith is listening too, aye?” Jamie added.

Fergus sighed but gave a small nod of agreement before continuing with his story. Faith, while no doubt listening, gave no indication that she was aware of the conversation happening around her. Instead, she was busy trying to climb all over Jamie while he was sitting up in bed.

Not that Jamie minded one bit. He had Faith in his arms and Fergus nearby, talking a mile a minute about his journey from Lallybroch to France. Claire was preparing clean bandages to change the dressing on Jamie’s wound and Murtagh was tucked out of the way, sitting contently in a chair, completely at peace with the world. Jamie had everything he needed right there.

Claire turned and their eyes met. His breath left him in a rush. She was here with him, smiling softly when she found him watching her, and some part of him worried he would wake up any moment and find this all to be a dream.

She came around to the side of his bed and his hand reached out to touch the rounded bump where their bairn was growing healthy and strong.

God, the bairn…

He’d missed the evidence of it in the immediate aftermath of realizing that Claire was very much real and here with him. But when his senses fully returned to him, the proof of Claire’s pregnancy was obvious. And then came the sweeping sense of relief that nothing had happened to her, that she was still with child. On top of everything else he’d gained back, the promise of another bairn felt too good to be true.

Claire paused and let one hand cover Jamie’s. They shared a smile and his heart leapt to his throat. Every look, every slight touch was much-needed reassurance and they were both basking in it.

“Baby’s pretty quiet just now but you should be able to feel her moving soon.”

“Her?”

Claire shrugged almost shyly, and her gaze dropped. “Just… just a feeling. I don’t know. Or ‘him’. Could very likely be a boy.”

He felt the urge to share something but dismissed it — that he’d dreamt of the bairn while Claire was gone, more than once. A nameless child, about a year of age, and he never knew if it was a boy or a girl, only that it was his and Claire’s. But it had felt like a gift at the time, the only way he might know their next child.

Now, his thumb caressed the baby bump through Claire’s layers of skirts. It still hadn’t quite sunken in yet… all that was restored to him.

Jamie inhaled sharply as Faith’s knee suddenly dug into his shoulder, hitting a bruise he didn’t realize he had.

“Faith! Get down.”

Where she thought she was going from Jamie’s shoulders was anyone’s guess, but she still disliked being pulled down by Claire and set back on her feet on the bed. She reached for Jamie and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

“S’alright, a leannan,” Jamie murmured into her hair. His gaze met Claire’s, seeing a flicker of something there whenever the attention in the room shifted to Faith. But she smoothed it over with a slight, tense smile and finally began to remove the bandages around his thigh. She had a light touch, but Jamie still tensed up out of anticipation. He’d already accidentally twitched his leg and caused a flare-up of pain.

Claire’s work also drew Faith’s attention and he noticed the way the toddler’s brows furrowed in concern. He forced himself to relax his features and smile. “Yer ma’s just fixing me up so I’ll be good as new verra soon.”

That earned him a pointed look from Claire. “Your infection is clearing up, but the leg will take a little longer to heal.”

Despite the seriousness of her tone and the way she looked mildly upset with him, Jamie felt the small tug of a grin, real this time. He’d missed her scolding as much as anything else. His fierce Sassenach. “Alright, mebbe not verra soon then.”

It struck Jamie that it was suddenly very quiet. He turned to see Fergus still sitting cross-legged on the bed, watching them with an unreadable expression on his face. His heart sank. “I’m sorry, lad, we interrupted you. Go on.”

“Actually, Milord, I wanted to ask you if Milady ever told you about cars from her time. Because if so, I won’t recount that part of our journey.”

Jamie’s eyes widened in surprise and sought out Claire’s. She kept her head down, focused on her work, but cleared her throat awkwardly. “Fergus, darling, we can leave out the discussions of cars this time.”

Fergus continued on without any hesitation, and Claire’s gaze raised to meet his then. “We’ll talk later?” she whispered.

“So… Fergus knows.”

Claire met his gaze and gave a slight shrug, feigning nonchalance though he could see very well that she was nervous.

Murtagh had volunteered to take Fergus and Faith out for some exercise ‒ Mary had made herself scarce of late ‒ and Jamie couldn’t go anywhere on account of his leg. So it was suddenly just to the two of them, for the first time since the morning of Culloden.

And perhaps there were more pressing matters to discuss first, but the notion that an eleven-year-old lad carried such a secret was still rattling around in Jamie’s brain, leaving him unsettled.

“I suppose now’s as good a time as any to have that conversation.” She pulled up the chair at his bedside and sat down.

“I ken ye had yer reasons, Sassenach, but he’s only a lad and to trust him with something so…” Jamie let the sentence hang, floundering helplessly with all he wanted to say. He reached for her hand and held it tight, still needing any chance to touch her and know she was real. “After Cranesmuir, when ye told me, I kent the weight of such a secret. And while we had tae tell Murtagh and he believed ye, it was still a risk we took. I canna risk yer life like that again, mo ghraidh.”

Claire pursed her lips. “Then you’re not going to like what I have to say.”

“What d’ye mean?”

“Fergus knows… and so do Jenny and Ian.”

“Claire.”

He felt the rush of anger fizzling through his veins and he wanted to move ‒ to get up, to pace, to expel some of this urge to fight ‒ but his leg kept him immobile. Claire’s hand was already pressed placatingly to his chest, as if in warning that he better not move.

“Jamie, it was my choice.”

“Oh aye, and I suppose my thoughts on the matter meant nothing to ye since I wasna around.”

“Of course they matter to me, but you weren’t there and‒”

The crack of her voice rattled his resolve to stay angry.

“You weren’t there,” she said again, a little steadier this time but it still cut him to the core. “And neither was Faith. And I was left to fill in the blanks for our family. There were things that happened when I went back to my time and I needed to be able to talk about that. And it was my choice and I wanted to tell them, Jamie. Do you understand what it’s been like to keep that part of myself cut off from the people that I’ve come to love? Jenny and Ian… well they didn’t understand it, not unlike you at first, but they still believed me. And for the first time in a long time, I felt… I felt like myself. I could be here in this time with you and our family, and I could still hold all the pieces of myself and share about my life before.”

“Claire,” he said her name again with a resigned sigh. His hand covered her own where it still rested over his heart and brought it to his lips, kissing her palm. “Mo ghraidh, if anything ever happened to ye because of someone knowing what ye are…”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me. I’m not saying there isn’t a risk ‒ I know there is. But not with our loved ones.”

The notion still left his stomach churning at the thought, but the damage was done. Jenny, Ian, and Fergus already knew. “Aye, well, I’d still like tae have a wee talk wi’ the lad. Make sure he kens the seriousness of being trusted wi’ something so important.”

Claire smiled softly, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“What is it?”

She drew in a deep breath, steadying herself. “I’m not trying to suggest that I don’t think it’s a weighty decision. It is. And Fergus should know that.”

“But?”

“But it also brought us closer in a way I didn’t realize it could. I trusted him with something big. And I think he understands that. We were able to talk freely ‒ about cars, yes, but my childhood too, and my parents and Uncle Lamb. And I want… I want that with Faith, someday. I want to tell her and the baby when they’re old enough to understand.”

His head fell back against the headboard with a dull thud. “Sassenach…”

“How would you feel if your parents kept something like that from you for your whole life?”

“I would feel nothing if I never kent about it.”

Claire rolled her eyes.

“Fergus already knows,” she reminded him. “And it wouldn’t be any time soon with Faith and the baby, obviously.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. “It’s no’ that I particularly want tae keep this from them,” he admitted. His thumb traced over the knuckles of Claire’s hand and brushed over the metal ring seated there on one finger. His ring, made from the key to his home. “But it feels terribly reckless tae trust bairns wi’ a secret that could bring harm tae ye in the wrong hands. And I never want tae be reckless wi’ yer life, mo nighean donn. Ever.”

“I know that,” she said with a sigh. Her other hand came up to trace along his jaw, back and forth ‒ a touch so achingly familiar to him that he couldn’t help but be soothed by it. He exhaled heavily, feeling like putty in her hands.

“What if Faith remembers?” Claire added softly. “How else would I explain my absence to her?”

“We could think of something‒”

“But I don’t want to lie.”

He saw the desperate look that overtook her, the tears that filled her eyes and threatened to spill over. Oh, Claire. “C’mere.” He reached for her, fingers tangling in the mess of curls at the nape of her neck as he tugged her close, tucking her head under his chin.

“She already has enough cause to hate me,” she murmured tearfully, half-muffled into his chest. His eyes slammed shut, pushing a tear down his cheek.

“No, Sassenach, she could never hate ye.” He pressed a kiss to her hair. He had known in his heart that tearing them apart, even unintentionally, would destroy Claire. Had carried the guilt from that moment every day for three months. But it was another thing entirely to finally bear witness to the damage he’d done; the hell she’d gone through just to get them back and even still, the work of reconciling lay before them. All because of him.

“I hadna thought that Faith… she’s so like ye, Claire. Past those red curls, she has yer smile, yer kindness, yer mind. And Lord, is she stubborn. She’s yer bairn through and through. It never crossed my mind that she wouldna be able to travel like you. I never would ha‒” He broke off, finding himself too choked up to speak further, his eyes stinging with tears. He swallowed thickly and managed to utter in a tight voice, “Can ye ever forgive me, Claire?”

She pulled back then, watery eyes meeting his own. “I was upset ‒ heartbroken, really. Everything happened so fast at the stones and I was angry with you for forcing me to go. For trying to send both of us away from you.” Her chin quivered slightly and she took a moment to collect herself. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers.

“I know you, James Fraser,” she murmured into the space between them. His heart clenched at her words and his hand found its way to the nape of her neck again, holding onto her, feeling the steady thrum of her pulse just beneath the delicate skin there. His true north whenever he was lost. “There were times in the last few months that I wanted to throttle you, but I never once thought any of this was your intention to hurt me.”

He shook his head against her, unintentionally bumping noses with her. “No, but I still did, didn’t I?” He pulled back only slightly so that he could look her in the eye, their faces merely inches from each other.

She never could hide what she was thinking and he was counting on that this time. Of course he’d hurt her. Beyond anything imaginable, no doubt. And he couldn’t bear it, but that was his penance ‒ to face the extent to which he’d hurt her.

“Just promise me something?” she dodged his question with one of her own. “You can’t ever try and send me away again ‒ even if it’s not through the stones, you can’t‒”

“No, never. I won’t.” He sealed his promise with a kiss. “Christ, I couldna bear it, either.”

There was a slight rap on the door and they pulled back from each other only slightly, both struggling to shift away from the heaviness of the moment.

“Come in.”

It was Brother Thomas bringing Jamie’s supper into the room and asking Claire if she wanted to have her supper brought in as well, or if she’d like to join the others.

“Ye should go, mo nighean donn.”

She glanced back at him, slightly surprised.

“Ye shouldna be stuck in this room all day on account of me.”

Her brows furrowed together in concern. “Are you in any pain? I could make you some tea.”

“Nah,” he lied, capturing her hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss. “Only a little tired. Go and kiss the bairns for me, Sassenach, and enjoy some real company.”

She quirked an eyebrow at that, but still moved to stand. “You should get some rest. I’ll be back to check on you after supper. And we’ll… we’ll talk. About‒”

“Aye,” he said softly, understanding. There was still so much that hadn’t been said between them. So much left to share. “We have time now.”

Claire found him asleep in his bed when she returned, and was pleased by this. She knew his leg was bothering him but he never let on whenever there was company, stubborn man that he was. His wound should heal up wonderfully, so long as he didn’t push himself, but it would take time. With the emotional upheaval of their arrival, she was afraid he was already pushing himself to be present with them despite how tired and in pain he was.

Supper had been a lighthearted affair, with the children drawing smiles and laughter out of them. Mary had joined them, though she seemed a little withdrawn. And Fergus had of course wanted to return to see Milord after supper, but Claire wanted to protect the little bit of peace that Jamie needed. Instead, she reminded him that they had time ‒ they had the rest of forever together as a family ‒ and he could visit with Jamie in the morning.

She tried to be quiet as she prepared tea for him, but just as she was letting it steep, she turned and saw Jamie’s head tilted towards her, watching her from bed.

“Hi,” she whispered, heart melting under the warmth of his gaze.

He held his hand out to her and she crossed the room to take it between her own.

“Wanted to be sure you were no’ a dream,” he said with a sleepy half-smile. She returned his smile and also felt his forehead. No, no fever. Just in the place between sleep and waking. She leaned down and kissed him, savoring the simple joy in that, before she sat carefully on the edge of the bed.

“If in your dreams, I’m always making you tea, then I’m a little disappointed in your imagination.”

He barked a laugh at that, the first she’d heard in what felt like forever. “Weel,” he drew their clasped hands towards him and kissed the back of her hand with a reverence that made her heart ache, “I happen tae like watching ye do yer healing, Sassenach. Just the sight of ye fills my heart wi’ joy.”

She smiled through the urge to cry. “God. You can’t say things like that to your pregnant wife. You’ll turn me into a blubbering mess.”

He looked more pleased than chastised, the beginnings of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips ‒ though she suspected that had more to do with the reminder that she carried their child. “Hmm. No, we canna have that, Sassenach.”

She shook her head at him and moved to stand. “I made you some willow bark tea. Should help with the pain.”

It was while she was setting the cup of tea next to him on the bedside table that the unmistakable screams of a disgruntled toddler could be heard from down the hall.

“What on earth?”

The sound grew louder very quickly and by the time Claire swung the door open, there was a harried-looking Murtagh passing Faith into her arms.

“Mary tried tae put her tae bed and…” Murtagh gestured vaguely to Faith in the throes of a meltdown.

“It’s alright, just‒” Claire nodded in Jamie’s direction and Murtagh went without needing further instruction to help Jamie sit up.

She looked down at the wailing child in her arms, red-faced and sweaty with tears spilling down her cheeks. “Oh, lovey…”

Murtagh stepped away and then Faith caught sight of her father. Claire tightened her hold on the girl as she practically tumbled out of Claire’s arms reaching for Jamie.

“Are you alright to take her?” she asked him. A stupid question, really. They had no other option to calm Faith down and they all knew it. Still, Jamie nodded and reached for her.

Faith buried her face into the crook of Jamie’s neck and howled.

“Shhhhh a nighean. Na gabh dragh. Tha mi an seo.”

Claire felt her own racing heart slowing down with Jamie’s soothing words to Faith ‒ Gaelic words she knew by heart now: Don’t worry. I am here.

She turned back to face Murtagh, her empty arms now folded tight across her chest. “Thank you for bringing her. For all your help over the last few days. It’s been…”

Words failed her in trying to sum it up, and instead she shrugged her shoulders. “Well,” she gestured to her injured husband trying to console their screaming child. “You know.”

“Aye,” Murtagh sighed softly, brows raised. “I do ken.”

She thought suddenly of Fergus and the look on his face when she told him after supper that Jamie needed to rest. And now here they were with Faith…

It felt as though she were being pulled in all directions at once and failing everyone spectacularly.

Murtagh reached out and gave her elbow a gentle squeeze. “I’ll look in on the lad tonight.”

Her chin quivered but she smiled and tried to keep it together at least until Murtagh was out of the room. She didn’t know how they would’ve managed without Murtagh and Mary the last few days. “Thank you. For always looking out for him, but especially now.”

Murtagh awkwardly brushed off her words, never one to take compliments, and bid her goodnight before slipping out of the room.

Faith’s screaming had lessened to hiccuping sobs as she struggled to get her breathing under control again. Jamie rubbed slow circles on her back and continued to speak his soft-spoken words of comfort. It was so reminiscent of the difficult nights in Faith’s infancy when she wouldn’t sleep, and Claire wanted nothing more than to settle there in bed beside Jamie and cuddle Faith between them.

Instead, she came around to the other side of the bed and sat there at the foot of it, watching Jamie gently coax Faith out of her stormy mood. Soon enough, that tear-stained face was smiling and Claire watched as Jamie lifted Faith and gently plopped her onto the space next to him on the bed. Faith burst into laughter, bordering on hysterical in her post-meltdown, overtired haze, and pushed herself unsteadily to her feet and launched herself at Jamie. “Again!”

Without any reason, Claire thought very suddenly of Frank... of their conversation when she’d told him the truth. He’d wanted a life with her again, one they could bring her baby into and raise together. But even when given a little time to sit with that idea, her heart had rebelled against it. She’d only ever wanted this ‒ a second chance at raising this family with Jamie.

“Careful!” Claire gasped, heart in her throat as Jamie narrowly avoided a kick to his injured leg and hefted a squirming toddler higher up against his chest.

“Frow me!”

“Throw ye? I didna throw ye. I dropped ye, ye daft wee thing.”

“Aye, again,” Faith agreed, the distinction completely lost on her as much as Jamie’s teasing.

“Aye, one more time‒”

“And be careful of Da’s leg,” Claire interjected.

“‒ and then it’s time for bed, a leannan.” He shifted Faith’s weight onto his hands and winked at Claire in reassurance, and once more plopped her onto the soft bedding. “There, that’s all for tonight.”

Faith stood and wobbled and leaned into Jamie’s shoulder. Claire fought every single urge to grab Faith away from the injured side of Jamie. Toddlers were about as aware of their surroundings as someone who was falling-down drunk. “No’ yet,” she said to Jamie.

“No’ ready for bed yet?” he said in a voice that was clearly playing along with some sort of game Claire wasn’t accustomed to. Meanwhile, he plucked Faith from his side and situated her to sit on his opposite leg. “What should we do wi’ ourselves then?”

“A story,” Faith insisted, leaning her head back against Jamie’s chest to look up at him with pleading eyes.

“Ye want a story?” Jamie teased her, as if it was the most outrageous thing to ask for. Claire was simply transfixed by them. It felt… it felt like home, trying to settle their wild one for bed. She could almost forget that she’d become a stranger to her daughter, being able to witness how easy it was between Jamie and their girl. Could almost imagine a time when it might be like that with her and Faith in the future.

Faith nodded curtly. “Uh-hm. Story.”

Jamie’s gaze was brimming with joy as it met Claire’s. He smiled as he asked, “And what kind of story for tonight?”

“My mam!” Faith cheered immediately.

Her heart leapt at those words and she looked from Faith back to Jamie, silently questioning. Jamie’s expression turned tender, almost sheepish, before he went back to addressing Faith. “Yer mam is right over there, a nighean.”

And then Faith’s gaze was on her, wide-eyed and curious, and Claire’s heart tumbled in her chest.

“Perhaps she could tell ye a story tonight.” Jamie patted the spot next to him at the head of the bed. “C’mon up here, Sassenach.”

Her gaze flickered hesitantly to Faith. “Would you like that? If I told you a story?”

Faith nodded shyly, hiding a smile behind one fist. And that was all it took to send Claire’s heart soaring. She blinked quickly against the sting of tears and offered Faith a wobbly smile in return. “Well, alright then,” she said thickly. “It’s a deal. But Da has to be able to drink his tea so that he starts to feel better.” She stood and moved to the head of the bed, taking the pillow on that side and shoving it more towards the center before she sat down, leaning against the headboard. “And that means you should lay your head here,” she tapped the pillow now situated between her and Jamie, with just enough space for their wee girl to lay down.

“Aye,” Jamie murmured, lifting Faith up for a sound kiss to her cheek before gently setting her down between them. “Time tae lay quietly and listen, lass.”

Faith didn’t need any further prompting and lay curled on her side, face nuzzling into the pillow. This was routine for her, Claire realized, and Jamie’s words from moments before suddenly took on new meaning.

“Jamie…” she breathed out, looking up at him. He had his cup of tea finally, gulping it down since it had cooled considerably. She noticed then how his expression was pinched ‒ he was in pain and struggling even to hide it now.

“What is it, Sassenach? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’ll keep. Just… what do I tell her?”

He smiled gently then. “Ye could tell her anything, mo chridhe. About yer life before ye came here or about yer parents, perhaps.” His expression turned serious before he added, “you were right, ye should be able to share those things wi’ yer bairns. And when she’s older and will understand, ye should tell her again. The whole truth.”

Her heart swelled at his words. She glanced down to find Faith watching them before succumbing to a yawn. “Alright, sweet girl…” Her fingers began to play with Faith’s silky hair and the girl’s eyes drifted shut. Claire’s smile grew. “How about the time I first went to Egypt with my uncle?”

“My god…” Claire whispered, full of awe, as she watched Faith sleep. “She is… exhausting.”

Jamie shook with quiet laughter, rubbing a hand over his tired face. He’d slid down so he could lay flat on the bed while Claire had told her story. “I thought she’d never go to sleep,” he whispered back.

She looked at him then, half-asleep himself next to her. “You should sleep. I’ll put her in Fergus’s room for tonight. There’s an extra bed.”

Claire slid one arm under Faith’s neck and hooked the other under her knees and very carefully lifted the sleeping girl. Faith hardly stirred.

“Sassenach?”

She was halfway to the door when Jamie’s voice made her pause and look back. “What’s wrong?”

“Ye’ll come back… won’t ye?”

“I…”

Her brain was slow to connect the dots, but after a beat, she realized he meant for her to sleep in here with him. “I can’t. Your leg. I’ll‒ you know how I move in my sleep. I’d be just as bad as Faith when she was jumping all over the bed.”

“I can move tae th’ other side. So my wounded leg is on the edge.”

“But…” She had no real argument, other than her tired brain trying to make the point that that was her side of the bed. But no, that made more sense from a recovery standpoint. Easier to access and clean the wound, harder for Faith to accidentally bump into it.

“Just tae sleep, Sassenach,” Jamie added when she didn’t respond right away. “I only want tae have ye here wi’ me.”

In case he woke up again and didn’t know what was real…

“I’ve missed ye.”

God, she missed him too… and hated the way his injury seemed to keep a physical barrier between them even when they just wanted to hold each other. “Alright, I’ll come back.”

It was a short walk down the hallway to Fergus’s room and she entered quietly, finding the room already dark and the boy fast asleep. With some difficulty, she got Faith tucked under the blankets of the spare bed without waking her.

Relieved, she brushed Faith’s hair back from her forehead and pressed a kiss there. “I love you.”

She stepped across the room to Fergus’s bed and bent down to kiss him goodnight. “I love you so much. And I’m sorry…” She felt her throat clog with emotion and shook her head. Between tending to Jamie and the nature of a two-year-old to demand everyone’s attention at every second, that hadn’t left much time for dear Fergus to receive the same love and care. “We’re going to figure it all out, I promise.”

Claire used a sheet to slide Jamie to the other side of the bed ‒ “Learned that one in my nursing days” ‒ and then began the arduous task of shedding all of her layers of clothing. Once down to just her shift, she breathed a sigh of relief and went to take down her hair next. Everything from her back to her ankles hurt and while she didn’t feel particularly desirable in that moment, she was aware of Jamie’s soft gaze on her, watching the entire process. “Enjoying the show?” she asked coyly.

He smiled at that, but something wistful lingered in his gaze. “Wishing I could help ye,” he admitted.

She set her hair pins down, feeling her own slight tug of longing for that. “Glad to hear it,” she teased. “Because soon enough, I’ll be as big as a house and unable to put on my own stockings.”

Jamie’s brows raised. “Or take them off?”

She exhaled a soft laugh. “Yes, I’ll need help with that, too.”

By the time she slid under the blankets and scooted towards Jamie, she almost wept with relief. “Is this alright?” she asked as her head rested against his chest, her eyes already slipping closed. Jamie had one arm secured around her, and she felt the press of his kiss against her hair in answer. Her hand wandered absently across his chest and along his side, relishing the feel of him, warm and solid and real beneath her fingers, as the sound of his steady breathing filled her ears.

This was a different sort of intimacy, to need someone there with you in order to fall asleep, and Claire felt that nebulous thing that had been off-kilter in her world suddenly right itself. Her heart and soul were finally back where they belonged.

“You told her about me, didn’t you?” The words slipped out as she recalled her realization from earlier when Faith had asked for a story.

“Aye,” Jamie murmured right away, his voice rough. “Almost every night since Culloden. She didna ken who I was by then, nor you… so I shared my memories of ye with her. Told her how much ye loved her e’en when ye couldna be here wi’ us.”

She turned her face into his chest and kissed him there over his nightshirt, leaving a few stray tears in the fabric as well. “Thank you.”

“Oh, Claire.” She felt another kiss to her hair. “She does love ye, I ken. And it didna take verra long for her to accept me again as her da. It willna take long for ye, either. I swear it.”

She simply nodded against him, at a loss for words.

Stillness settled around them and she felt the deliriously wonderful pull towards sleep, only to have that interrupted moments later.

“Jamie? Give me your hand.”

She guided his hand to a spot low on her belly and pressed firmly. Soon, she felt the gentle, answering nudge from within. “There she is. Feel that?”

“Aye,” his voice cracked and a quiet sound caught between a laugh and cry followed suit. “There she is,” he echoed, awe-filled. “Blood of my blood and bone of my bone.”

She tilted her head back and kissed the scratchy stubble along his jaw, his cheek, until he turned to meet her with a shared kiss, born out of wonder and longing and a love that was so much bigger than the two of them.

“‘Til our life is done… Jamie, it’s so far from done. There’s so much‒”

She had more to say, more in her heart to share, but Jamie’s lips cut her off and she found she didn’t need to say those things out loud to be perfectly understood by him.

#jamie x claire #faith fraser #outlander #outlander fic #tbbfiy #the best by far is you #OL fic #my fic

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stusbunker · 3 years

Text

A Gentlemen’s Agreement Epilogue

A Supernatural Denny AU Fan-fiction Series

Featuring: Dean Winchester/ Benny Lafitte

Other characters: Pamela, Jesse, Caesar, Crowley, Balthazar, Meg, Jo, Lee, Lisa, Sam (mentioned), Drea OFC, Robbie and SJ OMCs, Deanna OFC

Word count: 2340

A/N: Enjoy! xoxo Stu

Brunch

The sun was bright, but the air was crisp. The remnants of the early snowstorm had left soggy lawns and damp sidewalks. Benny pulled up to the restaurant and parked on the curb, smiling over at Dean. He waited patiently.

“You sure this is a good idea?” Dean squinted in the midday light.

“Been dying to meet ya. Figured it’s only fair, I met your folks, you can meet my people too,” Benny said simply. “But I’m not gonna force ya.”

“I just, I’m not used to being out in public. In numbers,” Dean sputtered.

Benny raised a single eyebrow at him. “Well, I guess this is your best shot to try it out, dontcha think?”

“What if they don’t like me? I don’t want you to have to choose between me and your friends,” Dean explained the root of the problem.

“I like you, they will too. Just relax, be your charming self and if you don’t know what to say, you can just keep eating.” Benny put his hand on Dean’s thigh, squeezing just so.

Dean growled out a sigh. “Fine. But you’re paying.”

Like that could make an uncomfortable situation worth it. Benny smirked at Dean’s logic, waiting for his face to soften from grouchy to amiable. Once Dean relaxed, Benny kissed him, just long enough to keep him flustered and climbed out of the truck.

They approached a large round table midway along the heated patio, where four people were already seated.

A raven haired woman waved them over. “My good Benjamin, did you bring a straight boy to brunch, just for me?!”

“Pammy!” Benny leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Hate to disappoint ya darlin', but ain't nothing straight about this'n."

“Hey, now! Can’t a guy speak for himself?!” Dean snipped defensively as he sat in the spot beside Benny.

Everyone laughed. Pamela raised her eyebrow in question.

Dean licked his lips and put on the smolder, “Sorry sweetheart, but I’m taken.”

“Wait, this--- THIS is your sassy mechanic?!” Crowley leaned forward, extending his hand, his English brogue gruff and pandering. “Nice to finally meet you, handsome.”

Dean gave Benny the side eye and all Benny could do was shrug coyly. Dean shook the man’s hand, trying not to show his discomfort from his lingering glances. Benny made the rest of the introductions, Jesse and Cesar were also a couple, but had been married for a few years. They seemed to be waiting on someone before they ordered. The group sipped their cocktails with a fresh pitcher of Bloody Mary in the center of the kitsch tablecloth.

Benny poured Dean a generous portion of the red drink and slipped seamlessly into the conversation. Dean sucked the palmeto out of an olive and listened casually, not too sure where he fit in this part of Benny’s life.

Twenty minutes later a rail of a guy swaggered in, with oversized aviators and a black linen suit.

“Oh, thank Christ for booze,” he huffed, grabbing Dean’s glass without even acknowledging Dean was there. The blonde chugged the entire drink, before breaking for air. “I just had the worst hook up of my life, no, well, the year at least. He took me to his mother’s house. She tried to make me breakfast. I was simply mortified. I just left. What could I even do at that point, honestly?!”

Now that his audience had his attention back, the man gawked at Dean. He even pulled down his sunglasses for a better look. “Now who the fuck is this? Is it show and tell?! Because I am not prepared in the least.”

He casually patted at his hair and eyed Dean from top to toe. Benny chuckled, but Pamela was the one to make the introduction.

“Balthazar, our regular hangover diva. Meet Dean, Benny’s boy toy,” she deadpanned, eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Oh you can’t be serious,” Balthazar lamented, looking from Pam to Benny to Crowley and finally at Dean. “Fuck you southerners and your goddamn accents--- always gets the hotter ones,” he muttered defensively as he threw himself against the armrest of the chair, crossing his legs.

“Well, now that we’re all here,” Cesar ended the dramatics concisely. “Maybe somebody should find our waitress?”

Dean looked at Benny confused. “We’re always here for a while, she doesn’t bother us until we’re actually ready to order. Tend to annoy her otherwise.”

Crowley volunteered as he needed to head to the men’s room anyhow. Five minutes later he arrived with an obviously surly waitress.

“Well look what the cat dragged in,” Meg’s smokey voice broke through Balthazar's latest story. She centered herself between Cesar and Crowley’s seat and cocked her hip, tongue firmly in cheek as she waited for Dean to take her bait.

“Heya, Meg,” Dean sighed. The inevitable caught up with him after all, they just had to run into someone he knew.

“Oh, this has got to be good, now, pray tell, how do you two know each other?” Crowley probed.

“Oh me and this schmuck? We go way back.” Meg smiled without teeth.

“Is that so?” Benny tested the waters.

“Not like that,” Dean grumbled. “Meg, here, took my little brother Sammy out for a few spins, back in the day. Didn’t you, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, well, what can I say? It was high school.” Meg let her indifference coat her entire being until curiosity sparked to life in her eyes. “So what are you doing with this crowd, or did they bring you in just to add a new level of torture to my Sunday shifts?”

“Well---.” Dean swallowed, looked at Benny for clarification and got mild amusement instead. “I think you’re stuck with me now.”

“Joy,” Meg bristled before taking their orders, knowing most of the table’s usuals before they even opened their mouths.

News

Benny rushed into the customer entrance of the shop, the wet October air had kept the service doors closed for the past week. He leaned against the counter, decorated in local business cards and charity fliers, anxiously waiting for someone to talk to. His chest was so tight he worried he’d pass out from excitement. He just needed to see him was all, once he saw Dean it would be easier.

Lee sauntered in from the service bay, they both had drawn the short straw it seemed.

“Hey, mind getting Dean for me? It’s important,” Benny asked, unable to keep the burning smile from his face.

Lee eyed him curiously but nodded and headed back the way he came. He didn’t shout, not really. “Dean-o, your boyfriend’s looking for ya.”

Dean unfurled himself from the engine he had been tinkering with all morning and glared at Lee.

“Husband, whatever, seems urgent,” Lee acquiesced. Dean nodded and wiped his hands off on the closest rag. Dean pulled his wedding band out from his undershirt out of habit more than anything. He couldn’t wear it on his hands at work, but he didn’t want to lose it so Benny made him a braided leather necklace once they got back from their honeymoon.

Dean ignored formality and walked straight into the waiting room. Once he saw the look on Benny’s face he knew what was happening.

“It’s go time?” He asked, shock and exhilaration sparking his instinct to move.

“It’s go time, cher. Lisa called me on the way to the hospital. Sam’s driving her from the office. Her water broke about 9:30,” Benny explained, the nervousness slipping into his cadence.

“Alright, I’m gonna clean up, you want me to drive?” Dean asked, gauging the unsteadiness in his usually stalwart husband.

“That’s probably best, yeah,” Benny agreed.

Dean leaned in and kissed him firmly, resting his forehead against Benny’s temple before pulling away.“Hey, we got this, alright? That kid is gonna be so spoiled having you for a daddy, you know that?”

“Look who’s talking, gonna have you wrapped around their finger before they can even crawl,” Benny teased back, inhaling with contentment.

Dean headed back to warn his coworkers that he had a baby on the way and to clean up enough to be allowed into a hospital. Jo followed Dean out into the lobby. Quickly, she hugged Benny before demanding regular updates to the group chat.

“Alright, get out of here, we’ve got you covered for the rest of the week. Let me know and I will put in paternity leave as soon as everyone’s home, okay?” Jo got all professional about things as Dean left.

“Oh, right, shit. Well, I guess I’ll let you know when you can come over and---,” Dean started before Benny pulled him by his elbow.

“We should be goin’” Benny urged. Dean looked at Jo one last time and nodded.

This was it.

Dean held Benny’s hand the whole way to the hospital, their grip tightening every so often, grounding them both. Because Lisa was a friend and the surrogacy was looser than most circumstances, both Benny and Dean were allowed in the delivery room. They were the best cheerleaders a birth mom could have ever asked for. Seven hours later, one chubby baby girl entered the world screaming to high heaven and splitting her fathers’ hearts open for an entirely new level of love and devotion.

Mary Andrea Lafitte-Winchester, or Drea for short, was a happy and healthy little girl. And an overprotective big sister to her twin brothers, Samuel Joel and Robert Fergus, who came along four years later.

Sunset

They’re old men now. Dean is five years retired, while Benny works the register for their sons on the weekends. Both of their hands aren’t what they used to be. But they keep busy. Drea is bringing the kids round tomorrow, it’s the start of summer break and Dean’s been dying to teach her kids to fish.

Dean went grey after he turned fifty, but it hasn’t changed since, in color at least. Benny’s beard is as white as Santa Claus and he hides what little hair he has left under a cap. They’re both a little rounder, a little lower to the ground, but they got that way together and neither of them notice it on one another anyhow.

Every year they visit Jesse and Cesar in Arizona for New Year's. Though they fly more than make the drive these days.

They still take turns cooking the meals and the movie nights from their early days resurfaced into movie afternoons when their kids moved out. Dean can’t hear for shit anymore and, naturally, Benny makes fun of him for it. But Dean’ll put in his hearing aids if company is over.

It’s early evening in the beginning of June and the bugs are orchestrating quite the soundtrack to their time on the porch. Dean pours his whiskey. Benny’s already sipping his sweet tea, his medications don’t let him drink much anymore. Jo’ll come by on Sunday, along with SJ and his wife and Robbie. Sam and Jess usually make it to every other dinner or so.

“Hey there, handsome. Mind if I join you?” Dean teases, once a flirt always a flirt.

“Not at all, cher. It’s a helluva view,” Benny glances at his husband, watches Dean take in the peaches and pinks kissing the slopes of the fields. They sit like that for an hour, until the dark is too thick to see through. Groaning and creaking they stand in turn. Dean keeps his hand on the small of Benny’s back as they head inside for the night, steadying them both.

They moved their bedroom to the ground floor after Dean’s heart attack, a lot less worry about making it upstairs that way. After being married forty years, Dean still makes jokes about it being Benny’s place. But it’s always been his home. He kisses Benny goodnight, makes it a little saucy because he can. He’s the first to close his eyes.

In the morning Benny makes waffles and tofu bacon. Dean pretends he can’t taste the difference, fooling no one. They make out while the sink fills for the dishes, too few to run the machine. Benny gets handsy first and Dean tries to squirm into the upperhand. They’re interrupted by a car pulling in the drive.

“Busted,” Benny whispers.

“You’re the one who wanted kids,” Dean grumbles against Benny’s neck, an old, unfounded retort.

“Yeah, but the grandkids---,” Benny starts.

“Were made to be spoiled,” Dean finishes and kisses Benny once more. Drea’s yelling at her kids to slow down before her dads even make it outside to greet them. Her eyes, blue as her daddy’s are tired. They don’t envy her the school aged years. Dean bends down as baby Deanna, who’s nearly four, comes crashing into his arms. He pulls her up and holds her tight, reminds him of her mama and he can’t help but get a little weepy over the passing years.

“It’s so good to see you, baby girl.” Benny pulls his daughter into a hug before helping with their bags. The older kids don’t come inside until it’s time to eat, climbing through the barn and splashing in the creek until they’re soaked. But Deanna sticks with her Grandpa on a simple stroll, while Pappy and Mama catch up.

Dean still has the jacket he bought from Benny, though the pants are long gone. He’ll leave it to Robbie when the time comes, when his son finds himself a stud that’s worth settling down for. If that’s what he chooses.

For now, Dean lets his granddaughter pick up every rock and stick she finds and examines it to the nth degree. He explains what he can about each one. She’s very curious. He even lets her wipe her chubby little hands on his pants’ leg when she needs to. They get back to the house just in time to start dinner, but before they go inside Dean takes a mental picture of his husband on the porch, their daughter beside him and his granddaughter running past him.

It is a helluva view after all.

Tell me what you think?

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Tagging: @flamencodiva @dolphincliffs @dontshootmespence @fookinghelljensensthighs @fangirlxwritesx67 @dawnie1988 @mrswhozeewhatsis @cosicas-cuquis @foxyjwls007 @tumbler-tidbits @wingedcatninja @defenderrosetyler @ericaprice2008 @crashdevlin @mylovelydame21 @cajunquandary @itmighthavebeenintentional @thoughtslikeaminefield @there-must-be-a-lock @tatted-trina6 @lyarr24

#supernatural #supernatural au #spn fanfic #spn au #dean/benny #dean winchester x benny lafitte #bi!dean #aga: epilogue #A Gentlemen's Agreement #childbirth #meeting the friends #found family #aging #mortality #love of a lifetime #grandpa and pappy #health issues #Joel is for Jo and Ellen

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let-the-dream-begin · 4 years

Text

A Place to Belong Chapter 30: Crushed Violet

Chapter 29

Read on AO3

This chapter contains a funeral service for an infant. If you want to skip just that part, you can skip to "A month passed quietly," because there is some important Jenny/Claire character building at the end. But the end does still discuss the loss of Caitlin and also Faith, so if you'd like to skip altogether, that is completely fine. Please don't feel like you have to read any of it if it's too much. I love you all, take care of yourselves<3

The service was almost unbearable.

Kitty was bewildered; she kept asking when baby Caitlin would come back so she could hold her like she’d held Janet and Michael when they were born. If Brianna had any confusion, she didn’t share it aloud

Jamie and Maggie knew.

Claire couldn’t be sure at first, but seeing the way the two of them held hands through the entire service, both of their sets of little knuckles white, made her absolutely certain. Oh, and the tears. Maggie was weeping, quietly enough that Claire could tell she was the only one who’d noticed, but weeping all the same. She was too young, much too young to have her heart broken like that. Claire had known for years that Maggie was sensitive. She was so quiet and reserved, especially in comparison to her siblings and her cousin. Things always touched her so deeply. Dead flowers in Claire’s garden still made her cry to this day.

And Claire could not forget how in awe she had been when Brianna had been placed in her arms.

“I love her, Auntie.”

Oh, and she did. Even at three years old Maggie’s heart was fit to burst with love. She’d behaved very similarly when she saw Michael and Janet for the first time, clasping her hands together and crying: “Oh, how darling! Oh very sweet!”

Claire and Jenny had laughed their heads off at that. She’d certainly gotten both of those phrases from her English Auntie.

She’d held them carefully, fussed over them both as she had Brianna.

As she would have Caitlin.

She’d been too young to hold Kitty when she was born, but the older they grew the more she fussed over her as she had all three of the infants in her life that she could remember. She hardly ever played with Kitty and Brianna, rather, she sat and watched, tutting and mother-henning them like Claire imagined Jenny had done to Jamie at that age. But it was not because she was bossy, or because she liked to hold power over them. It was because she loved them so fiercely.

As fiercely as she’d have loved Caitlin.

Jenny hadn’t wanted the children to see her cold and lifeless. It would have upset them far too much, and Claire couldn’t say she’d disagreed. But watching Maggie shuddering in the Lallybroch graveyard, she couldn’t help but feel as if they’d robbed that poor child of something that she’d needed.

For the life of her, Claire could not remember any other part of the burial besides those horrible tears on Maggie’s dear face, and the gentle reminder of Brianna’s hand in hers. Perhaps she didn’t take her eyes off of Maggie because she couldn’t bear to look at Jenny. A little girl, however sad she may be, could be comforted, could be rocked, could be soothed. In fact, Claire knew exactly what she could do to make Maggie smile again, even laugh. But Jenny…

There was nothing she could do to bring her out of that black despair.

The grief etched into every one of her features -- of Ian’s features -- was too real, too familiar to her. She couldn’t bear to look up and see her own old, still hardly-healed scars of grief in her sister’s face. It would have broken her.

So instead, she kept her eyes trained on Maggie, on that poor, broken-hearted little girl, on her big brother, how he held her hand, patted her head, hugged her around the shoulders, and on Brianna’s hand, occasionally rubbing gentle, reassuring circles with her thumb into her palm.

After what seemed like an eternity, it was time to trickle dirt on top of poor little Caitlin. Claire finally allowed herself a glimpse at Jenny and Ian as they poured dirt into the grave, and her stomach lurched. If she hadn’t looked away after that split second, she was sure she would have vomited on the spot. Claire had not been there when Mother Hildegard had buried Faith. It was something that she still felt guilt over to this day. Her mother hadn’t been there to guide her into the next world, to tuck her in with a handful of dirt.

But now, seeing Jenny and Ian do just that, she was blasphemously grateful she hadn’t been able to see her buried. She would have been feral. She would have thrown herself into that hole with her and demanded they throw the dirt upon them both. They’d have had to sedate her. She was not strong enough to bear it.

It was an absolute marvel to her that Jenny was still standing.

When it came time for Claire and Brianna to scoop dirt into the grave, Claire steadied her hand around Brianna’s on the handle of the little shovel.

Goodbye, my little Goddaughter. Tell your cousin that I love her.

Your uncle will take care of you.

——

Claire sat in one of the armchairs in the parlor, Brianna sitting in her lap. Jenny and Ian were sitting in silence on the sofa, Ian’s arms wrapped protectively around Jenny. Maggie and wee Jamie were nestled together in the other armchair, their tiny bodies fitting snugly right beside one another. The twins were napping, Kitty was flitting about, trailed closely by Fergus, keeping an eye on her. Dear boy.

Claire had watched Jenny carefully for the entire wake. She knew it was silly, what with Ian sitting right beside her the whole time, but she couldn’t help but take note of everything she ate, how much of it she ate, how much whisky she had. Last night, long after supper had ended for the rest of the household, Claire had returned to the Laird's room with two bowls of broth. It had not been all that long ago when Jenny was constantly pestering her to eat, urging her to keep herself alive despite the fervent wish to waste away.

And, by God, Claire would return that favor.

She’d been thankful beyond all measure that poor wee Caitlin was already gone from the room by the time she’d gotten there. She couldn’t bear having to be the one to say it:

“It’s time, Jenny.”

Too familiar.

Kitty tugged on her mother’s sleeve, and Jenny absently caressed the girl’s head, not hearing her when she said: “May I be excused now, Mam?”

Claire was very abruptly brought back to a time and a place she hadn’t thought about in a very long time.

Her own small voice, precisely Kitty’s age, tugging on a black skirt in her own living room, surrounded by adults that she hardly knew.

“May I be excused, Grannie?”

Kitty was tired of not understanding, of being met with nothing but sadness. She just wanted to escape back to her dolls, to her nonsense, make-believe faery world in her bedroom.

And, though the memory was older, etched with cobwebs at the very edges of Claire’s mind, it was a feeling that was, once again, quite familiar.

“Aye, mo chridhe,” Ian answered for her. “Go play now.”

Kitty grinned and bounded over to Brianna, still in her mother’s lap, arms now draped around her neck.

“Come on, Banna.” She tugged on her little skirt. “Da says we can play now.”

Brianna untucked her head from underneath her mother’s chin, looking into her eyes. “May I, Mummy?”

“Go ahead, darling.”

Brianna slipped off of her lap, and Claire met Fergus’s eye from across the room, silently pleading: Make sure they don't trouble anyone. He nodded in understanding, conspicuously following the little troublemakers up the stairs.

The rest of the wake proceeded quietly, and within the hour most of the very few people that didn’t live in the house had trickled out. Mrs. Crook and Mrs. Donnelly started cleaning up, and Maggie was immediately on her feet, helping. Wee Jamie even helped, moved to action by Maggie’s example. They helped all they could before the servants grew tired of having to instruct them, and it wasn’t long before Maggie was tugging her brother by the hand to stand beside the sofa where Jenny and Ian still sat. Hesitating just a bit before doing so, Maggie gently kissed her mother’s cheek, then moved to do the same to Ian. Jamie copied Maggie, and Claire did not miss the single tear that trickled down Jenny’s cheek. Ian held Maggie’s face in his hands, pressing their foreheads together, whispering in Gaelic before kissing her forehead. He then did the same to Jamie, and then he sent them off upstairs.

Claire sat in silence, alone with Jenny and Ian for the first time since she’d brought them supper last night. She swallowed thickly, leaning forward in her chair slightly.

“Is there anything I can do?” Claire said, admonishing herself even as the words left her mouth. What could you possibly do that would be any actual help?

“It would appear not.”

Jenny’s voice genuinely startled Claire. She hadn’t spoken a word all day until then. Before Claire could process what she’d said or even begin to decipher its meaning, Ian chimed in.

“Thank ye, lass,” he said kindly, the sadness in his eyes palpable. “Ye can check on the bairns, if ye dinna mind. The twins.”

“Of course.” Claire immediately sprang up.

“If we need ye we’ll send fer ye,” Ian said.

Claire nodded, departing the room at once. As she ascended the stairs, her mind swam with questions over Jenny’s words, but she shook it off. She’s grieving. Leave it be.

——

A month passed quietly. The holidays were uneventful. Claire, Fergus, and Brianna had a quiet little Christmas morning in Claire’s bedroom in front of the fireplace. Claire had made a new dress for Brianna’s beloved doll, Miss Nettie, and Fergus had carved her a wooden snake exactly like Sawny (which had nearly caused Claire to burst into tears). Claire gave Fergus new arm warmers, since his old ones were tattered and quickly becoming too small. He was quite impressed that she’d knitted them herself; he was all too aware how painful a task knitting was for her. And for Claire, Fergus gave her a single glass jar. She’d recently shattered a jar of herbs and was short a jar, but not any longer. Christmas was a sweet, albeit quiet and brief moment for her little family, and Claire was grateful.

Hogmanay was almost as quiet and brief. It was the worst year of the drought so far, and perhaps the most painful December this family had yet to endure, so food was scarce and company was limited. The children had a nice time; they were none the wiser to its lack of grandeur, and they were each quite enamored with the wee arm warmers that Claire had made for them. She’d made a pair for Jenny and Ian as well, and Ian had apologized profusely on both of their behalf for having nothing to give her or her children. She’d waved them off, insisting that there was nothing she needed.

On January fourth, a month and a day since Caitlin was brought into their lives and taken away all at once, Jenny and Claire were bundled up with the goats, milking them. Claire had been surprised when, the day after Caitlin’s burial, Jenny was up with the birds, eating breakfast with the family and going about her chores. Her eyes were red, sunken in, rimmed with black, but she kept herself busy, useful. Sometimes she held her children close for far longer than she should have, sometimes she avoided them like the plague.

Claire supposed that that was somewhere they differed. When Claire suffered a loss, she wallowed, she wasted away. But Jenny needed to work until her mind went numb. Claire remembered very clearly the months right after they’d lost Jamie, how Claire had fallen dumb on most days while Jenny chattered away, one of them unable to find words, the other unable to stop her words. This time, however, was different.

Jenny had hardly spoken in the month and one day since Caitlin. She spoke in hushed whispers to Ian, she spoke lovingly to her children, to Brianna, but other than that, her lips remained sealed in a tight, hard line. When she did speak to Claire, it was brief, three or four word sentences. Claire knew she couldn’t compare Jamie’s loss to Caitlin’s loss, so she really couldn’t say that Jenny should have been handling them the same way. But something just didn’t seem right.

Claire was all too aware that anger was a normal reaction to grief. So she was never surprised when Jenny’s tone was clipped, when she seemed irritable. But it wasn’t exactly that. Jenny never snapped, never lashed out, never shed hot tears of rage. It was as if she was being cold.

She is being cold to me.

It felt ridiculous, selfish, even, to be thinking that way. What should Jenny care about Claire's feelings? Her child was dead and buried, and however she chose to get through the day was not for Claire to judge. But there was something so terribly unsettling about seeing Jenny smile at her children, and then watching it fade into that coldness when her eyes settled on Claire again.

Claire tried to tell herself that she was being paranoid. But there was one particular instance she could not deny. Claire was sitting in the parlor with Brianna on the floor by the fire, rocking her, singing to her, when Jenny had entered with a basket of mending. Claire had been so engrossed in Brianna’s little giggles that she hadn’t heard Jenny. What made Claire notice her presence was that she felt her.

She could feel eyes burning into the back of her head. When she finally turned to see her, Claire almost jumped clean out of her skin. Jenny had never looked so hateful.

And that was when Claire had put it together. When Brianna had entered the world without breath, Jenny had saved her. When Claire was bleeding to death and burning with fever, Jenny had revived her. Jenny had worked herself nearly to the bone to deliver Brianna, and to see Claire through it safely. She promised it, vowed it.

But Claire had done nothing to save Caitlin.

There was nothing she could have done. She was too small, too weak from her mother’s malnourishment. Perhaps if she’d been full term she’d have lived despite the lack of nutrients, but even still. Her lungs were not strong enough to draw breath for more than a few hours. And there was nothing in this century that Claire could do.

Logically, she knew that, and she was sure that deep down, Jenny knew that as well. But that didn’t change the fact that Caitlin was gone, and Claire hadn’t stopped it.

So now, they sat in silence with the goats, the only sounds the squelching of the milk into the buckets and Claire’s heart hammering in her own ears. She’d been planning exactly what to say, exactly how to say it, for weeks now, but nothing could prepare her for how it would feel to actually say it to her.

“Jenny,” she began, ashamed at herself already to hear how thin her voice was. “You do know that I love you, don't you?”

She paused, waiting for a verbal response.

“Aye, ’course,” she finally said, not looking up from her bucket.

“Because I do. I care about you so much. You are my sister, truly, and I love your children like they’re my own.”

Jenny nodded wordlessly.

“I want you to know that I…that I understand why you’re upset with me,” she said carefully. Jenny did not stop milking. “I don’t blame you for hating me, Jenny.” Claire was looking at her, silently pleading with her to stop, to just look at her damn it.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save her. I’m sorry I didn’t try. You can blame me; I want you to blame me. In all my knowledge, I was powerless to do something when it really mattered. And I understand why that angers you.”

Please, sister…look at me.

“My heart is broken for you, Jenny. If there was something I could do, anything, I’d have done it. I’m so, so sorry — ”

“Anything?” She finally stopped milking.

“What?” Claire blinked, shocked at hearing her speak.

“Ye’d have done anything?” She finally turned to look at her. So cold…

“Of course,” Claire said fervently. “If she could have been saved I would have done it, no matter the cost.”

“She couldna be saved?”

“No…she couldn’t. Her lungs were too weak, she was too small — ”

“Could she be saved in your time?”

Claire’s brow furrowed, bewildered for a moment.

Then it hit her like a ton of bricks.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, Jenny…

She swallowed thickly. “I…I don’t know.”

“Ye said Brianna’s birth could ha’ been painless in yer time,” she said. “That it would take no effort at all to save yer lives.”

“Jenny…”

“Ye said that Brianna’s seizures could be helped in yer time,” she went on. “Ye said to me, plain as day, after that first seizure, ye said that if her life were in danger ye’d take her through the stones wi’out a doubt.”

“Oh, Jenny…”

“What of my wee Caitlin?” Her face was reddening, her eyes swimming with unshed tears. “When her life was in danger?”

“Jenny, she wouldn't have survived the journey…”

“What of my other bairns? If something happened to them that would be painless in yer time?”

“I don’t know how it works. I don’t even know if Brianna can do it…”

“But it’s a possibility fer ye, it always has been!” she snapped. “Ye told my brother ye’d do it, leave this suffering behind so yer bairn would be safe. I didna ken how…why he’d ask such a thing of ye, I didna fully understand when first ye told me…”

“Jenny, please — ”

“But now, I canna...fer the life of me, Claire, I canna understand what ye’ve done.”

Claire was helpless to stop the tears that rolled down her own cheeks.

“Ye had that power to save yer child, and ye turned it down.” She was near to shouting now. “I’d give anything, anything, my own life fer a chance like that if it meant my Caitlin would live, if it meant I could stop any of my other bairns from dying needlessly!”

“Jenny, I swear to you on my daughter’s life that if I’d have known the pregnancy was dangerous, I’d have taken you to the stones myself to see if you could travel through. I didn’t realize, I hadn’t even thought…”

“No. Ye hadna thought at all.” Jenny swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.

“I’m sorry…Jenny, I’m sorry,” Claire pleaded, desperate. “What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? Please, Jenny…”

She stared silently at the dirt between her feet.

“Do you…” Claire’s stomach flipped at the thought, a thought that hadn’t surfaced in many, many years, a type of doubt that hadn’t crept into her consciousness since she couldn’t even say when.

“Do you want me to go back?” Her voice cracked slightly on that last word. “Do you want me to take Brianna to my own time?”

Jenny’s face changed in a way that Claire could not quite put her finger on.

“I’d finally keep my promise to Jamie. I could take her to doctors for her seizures. She’s…she’s young enough that she would…forget.” Claire swallowed hard against the lump that had formed in her throat. “I could very easily write off the memories as dreams, as games. She’d be none the wiser, and she’d be safe.”

Jenny still said nothing, but now she was crying silently.

“We can all travel to the stones, you, Ian, Fergus, the children. There’s a way to know when you arrive if you can travel. There’s a sound, a buzzing. We can see if you can all…come with me. We can try.”

Claire was shocked to see Jenny shaking her head.

“Jamie couldna hear it,” she said flatly. “Ye told me that when he tried delivering ye to yer first husband that he couldna hear it.”

“But we could try — ”

“I’m no’ a fool, Claire.” She kept her eyes on the ground. “I’m no faery, I ken that.”

“Neither am I.”

“Maybe no’ to yerself.” She finally picked her head up to look at her. She sighed, wiping her eyes again. “I dinna even ken what I’m accusing ye of. I dinna ken what I expect ye to do. I’m just…I’m…”

“Angry.” Claire nodded in understanding. “Hurt.”

Jenny nodded.

“I meant it. When I said I understand why you hate me.”

“I dinna hate ye, Claire.”

Claire blinked dumbly. “You don’t?”

“I dinna want ye to go, either,” she continued, sniffling. “I’d never forgive myself if ye both disappeared. No’ to mention it would break Kitty’s heart, and Maggie’s…”

“But…you said…”

“I ken,” she said quickly, shamefully. “I’m sorry, Claire…I’ve been hating ye to my very core this past month and I’ve no good reason fer it.”

“You do have good reason. You lost your child. And it’s heartbreaking.”

“Aye…but ye were there…ye held her through her baptism, ye stayed wi’ us until she was gone.” Her voice caught in her throat. “Ye’ve been nothing but good to me, sister, to my family, even to yer wee Goddaughter.”

“But I…I couldn’t save her.”

“No one could. Like no one could save yer wee Faith.”

She was right.

“Just…just tell me one thing, Claire, the truth of it.” Jenny steeled herself, forcing herself to look Claire in the eye. “Would she have lived, in yer time? Or would she have perished anyway? I have to know, Claire.”

Claire swallowed thickly.

“I truly don’t know.”

“Is it certain that she’d be saved?”

“No. Not certain.”

Jenny let out the breath she’d been holding.

“I think…I think Faith would have been lost no matter what century I was in. That’s something I’ve come to terms with. Things are better in my time, but still not perfect. For Caitlin…I don’t know. She may have been lost either way, like Faith, or she may have been saved. I just don’t know.”

Jenny nodded, exhaling shakily. “Thank you.”

Claire nodded as well. “It’s safer there…but not safe. If that makes sense,” Claire reasoned. She thought back three years, to the time before Brianna was born, when she’d thought about the horror and absurdity of Jewish children being murdered in the century that was supposed to be “safer”.

“I told myself that a lot before Brianna was born, to justify what I’d done. To justify denying her something safer.”

“Suppose I was telling myself that the twentieth century was free of any sorrow at all so I could justify my thinking that ye were a wicked, selfish bitch.” She made a face somewhere between a smirk and a grimace. Ashamed.

“But…” she continued, sighing. “It would appear I was wrong.”

“It’s alright, Jenny,” Claire said gently. “Truly, I wanted you to hate me. If it would help you move past the grief, I wanted you to hate me for it.”

Jenny shook her head, more tears welling up. “Oh, I tried hard enough…and it didna help.”

Without thinking, Claire threw her arms around Jenny, and for a split second was terrified that she’d throw her off of her, but Jenny simply melted into her arms, falling apart, sobbing. Claire held her tightly, kissed her head, rocked her.

“It’s alright, sister…get it out, now, it’s alright…

“You’ll be alright.

“We’ll be alright.”

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander au #outlander fanfiction #jenny murray #ian murray #claire fraser #jamie fraser #brianna fraser #brianna randall #fergus fraser

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scotsmanandsassenach · 4 years

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OUTLANDER FAN FICTION: Murtagh

Here is an enjoyably long list of stories featuring Outlander’s one and only Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser! If you have written or know of a Murtagh-centric story (or moment) that’s not on this list please DM or comment below - there‘s no such thing as too much fanfic to read! SANDS x

After Culloden by @phoenixflames12

Weakened by fever, Jamie struggles to come to terms with the loss of Claire and the child and the fact that despite his best efforts, he is still alive.

All It Takes by @lenny9987 for @imagineclaireandjamie

Prompt: Imagine the conversation in S4 between Jamie and Murtagh when he tells his godfather about his second marriage.

An Ardsmuir Man Found by @lenny9987 for @imagineclaireandjamie

Prompt: Would love to see Marsali and Fergus finding Murtagh and bring him and the baby home to Jamie and Claire. The old and the new x

An Extended Stay At River Run by cantletitgo

The moments immediately following the season 4 finale (if you haven’t watched it, there are spoilers in this work!)

Before Light by @westerhos

Murtagh comforts Jamie after Faith’s death.

Can’t Do it For Her by @lenny9987 for @imagineclaireandjamie

Prompt: Hiya! I was wondering if there could be any Murtagh POV from first book/season? Related to either Jamie’s, Claire’s or both’s actions or circumstances? Thanks!

Cross That Line by MooseDeEvita

While traveling from town to town to lure Jamie back to them, Murtagh and Claire turn to each other for physical comfort. After all, confessions of lost love go so well with an ocean view and a sky full of stars. A bit of a deleted scene in episode 14 “The Search” after they hug in the cave by the sea.

Every Breath by thatsoccercoach

“It was there with every breath.”

Explaining Geneva by @renee-writer

A missing scene from Blood of my Blood where Jamie explains what happened with Geneva to Murtagh.

Faith’s Story by Judybrandtner

Murtagh tells Faith the story of the night she was born.

For Love by @redstarfiction

Imagining a conversation between Murtagh and Jamie before the wedding when Murtagh realises his God-Son is in love with the Sassenach.

Guardian Scotsman by @writtenthroughtime

Prompt: What about a story about Claire as a child or a teenager and somehow gets raised by Murtagh?

Hold On by @abreathofsnowandwaffles

“Frank and Jamie are two very different men, but I can tell ye, they both loved ye. Jamie loved ye so much- he sent yer mam back to him, to see ye safe. He was willing to give up his life so ye stood a chance.”

Hope in Change by @lenny9987 for @imagineclaireandjamie

Prompt: Imagine that the first significant person Bree meets in the colonies is Murtagh. It is through Bree that Murtagh finds out that Claire and Jamie are also in the colonies. What if it was Murtagh rather than Lizzie who witnessed Roger being a bit rough with Bree through the window that day?

In This Together by Awilding

During their search to find Jamie, an untimely encounter compels Claire and Murtagh to return to the caves to seek refuge. Their pursuit interrupted, Claire and Murtagh’s companionship is put to the test as they must rely on each other to make it through several days of considerable challenges. Set within the 14th episode of Season 1, “The Search”.

Just the Same by @bonnie-wee-swordsman for @imagineclaireandjamie

A short Murtagh POV from 1x07 during the scene in the stables with Jamie.

Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door by @abreathofsnowandwaffles

Murtagh finds his way up to Fraser’s Ridge and is greeted by a family of *three* Frasers.

Laying Just Vengeance by @gotham-ruaidh for @imagineclaireandjamie

Imagine Murtagh’s thoughts as he saves Jamie at Culloden

Murtagh and Rebecca’ Fraser by @renee-writer

Murtagh and Rebecca’s courtship and marriage from the Marine universe. A sweet and fluff end to the story.

Murtagh on the Ridge AU by @lenny9987 for @imagineclaireandjamie

If Murtagh survived Culloden and wound up on the Ridge with Jamie and Claire and company.

Now You’re The Outlander by orphan_account

Reader travels back in time from 2016 to 1744 and is found by Claire, Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus. The Reader and Murtagh develop a relationship but it doesn’t start off very well…

Only Hope by @magnoliasinbloom

‘The dank prison cell rustled and heaved slightly with the coughs and snores and groans of its inmates. Jamie tugged the rough blanket tighter around his shoulders, turning to face the heat of the peat fire.’

Other Grandfather Tales by AbbyDebeaupre for @otheroutlandertales

OOT explores the fairy tales and Scottish stories for children Jamie Fraser may have used for Grandfather Tales.

Peace by @bonnie-wee-swordsman

A very, very short moment from Murtagh’s Death at Culloden.

Playing After Bedtime by thatsoccercoach

Faith gets up after bedtime to play with Murtagh.

Reborn by @xlisaleinx

“Ellen?“ he whispered. Her name sounded strange in his ears; he hadn’t uttered it out loud for many a decade, and yet his tongue still remembered the way to form the syllables, calling her picture to him until he could see her as clear as day, as if she was standing right in front of him.

Sir Prize by thatsoccercoach

Murtagh tells a story.

Sit Still by @lenny9987

Brianna wants to paint Murtagh’s portrait but it proves a more difficult task than she anticipated. Part of my Living It Up at Lallybroch AU series.

The Astronaut and the Lepidopterist by thatsoccercoach

Faith has a school project requiring her to find out what her family members wanted to be when they grew up.

The Gorilla Dance by Judybrandtner

Faith and Brianna Fraser have a new obsession and they want to share it with Murtagh.

The Horizon by @lenny9987

Gaps In Canon: The morning of the battle of Culloden finds Murtagh watching the horizon and waiting for Jamie to return from Craigh na Dun.

The Knife by @whiskynottea for @otheroutlandertales

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser is asked to craft a knife and finds love in the new world.

The River Runs Again by @whiskynottea for @otheroutlandertales

After so many years with his life chained to another man’s fate, Murtagh was free again.

The Son He’d Never Have by @akb723

Anon asked: “I wonder what Murtagh was thinking when he was watching Jamie and Claire the first time saw each other in their wedding finery outside the church and during the vow?”

The Storyteller by @thewhitelady

A collection of shorts, taking place during Jamie’s youth.

The Truth of You by Devildream69

When two people who’ve learnt the hard way what life could do to a person, find each other again- the inevitable happens. The truth of them becomes the only thing that matters.

To Sway a Heart by @lenny9987 for @imagineclaireandjamie

Can you imagine: Jamie’s reaction straight after Claire teases him about kissing Laoghaire, maybe brooding on it by himself or talking about it in a roundabout way with Murtagh? Maybe him deciding to do something about it?

Two Red Hens by @written-rebellion

An open letter from Murtagh to his dearly departed… (aka the au where everything is okay and nothing went wrong ever)

White Roses of Scotland by behzaintfunny

December, 1754. Ardsmuir prison. James Fraser is constantly surrounded by hundreds of people, yet more alone than ever. There appears to only be a single light in the everlasting darkness, however faint it may be.

Whither Thou Goest by fardareismai for @imagineclaireandjamie

I was wondering I always thought it was sad that Murtagh never got to meet Brianna so maybe you could do a story about Murtagh being alive when Bree came to Fraser’s Ridge

#murtagh #murtagh fitzgibbons fraser #Outlander #fan fiction #fanfic #olffrec

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stickyzombielight · 3 years

Text

Behind me

Peering and characters: OGP/Harry Potter, Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Albus Dumbledore, Lucius Malfoy Size: 30 pages, 7 parts Genres: Everyday life Romance Fantasy Fantasy Warnings: Violence OZHP Murders Spoilers... Other tags: Wizards / Sorceresses Fictional creatures Love/Hate Description: Don't walk behind me — maybe I won't lead you. Don't go ahead of me — maybe I won't follow you. Walk side by side, and we'll be one.

© Indian Wisdom Author's notes: So, I don't know how to write fan fiction at all. But! On fikbuka ended works that are dedicated to Harry/OZHP,and I thought that I should write something like this myself,because I hate the canon.

1.1 The beginning of the path

August 31, 1991.

The rain is always the same, it doesn't change, but we look at it differently. Autumn rain brings sadness and reflection, winter rain brings slush and swell, spring rain brings joy and thunder, inspiring reverence, summer rain often brings coolness and pulls you out of a hot day into a completely different space.

The young sorceress loved rain at any time of the year. He creates for her an incredible atmosphere of lightness and alienation, which is so often needed by every person.

How relaxing it is to watch the drops rolling down the window, people who have fallen under the "natural" shower, or just sit on the windowsill, plunging into their fairy-tale world, in which there is no evil, but harmony and good reigns.

- Maddie, honey… Come down quickly, " a melodious female voice called from the first floor of the house.

Just as the girl was about to answer, a loud thunder suddenly thundered, causing her to squeak in surprise and jump to the side.

"I'm coming, Mom!" Madeline shouted, and after another glance at the window, she hurried out of the room.

When she went downstairs, she saw a rather interesting picture: her mother was trying to insert candles with the inscription "Congratulations!" into the cake, and her father was licking the cream around the edges and smearing it on his wife's nose.

***

Fergus and Fridesvida Mortimer are the best parents in the world, and they are also talented wizards. They met while still students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, despite the fact that they studied at different faculties. Father-Slytherin, and mother-Ravenclaw. According to my mother, my father always bullied her, but not because he didn't like her, but on the contrary, in this way he wanted to attract attention. Dad's parents-Richard Mortimer and Adeline-Fryderika Mortimer-never liked their daughter-in-law, and when they had a daughter, and the father decided to leave the family estate, they stopped having any relations with him.

***

Pausing at the doorway, Maddie giggled softly, drawing her parents ' attention.

"My dear! You took so long to get down. We've already thought of sending Crocus after you! Mom chirped, clapping her hands.

Fridesvida Mortimer is the most beautiful woman in the world. Despite her age, she looks like a young girl who has just begun to blossom. Her light brown, soft and silky hair was the envy of any woman, and her eyes were ... blue… With small flecks of emerald, they drive anyone nearby crazy.

Fergus Mortimer — a man with a stately figure, regular features and aristocratic appearance. His jet-black hair was always beautifully coiffed, his small moustache added charm to his face, and his green eyes, which stood out vividly against the background of his figure, aroused admiration and a certain envy. He was always the best-looking boy at school, and after that he remains a favorite for gossip among the ladies.

Madeline Mortimer is a mix of her parents. Genetics decided to play with her, and therefore the different eye color-blue and green is the highlight of the younger member of the family. Her shoulder-length black curly hair, upturned nose, and plump cheeks made her truly beautiful, incredible, and sweet.

- Today is a beautiful weather, I was looking at it ... - I answered and went closer to the table. On it were all sorts of goodies: cupcakes, rolls, fruit and my favorite sweets, and most importantly-a chocolate cake, with various swirls and zigzags, leaves and twigs.

— I still don't see how you can enjoy this nasty weather." Who would have thought that you like rain and dampness! My mother shouted, and put her hand on her forehead with an exaggerated sigh.

"Well, ma-am..." the curly — haired one drawled. — We've already discussed this. Before I could continue, there was another thunderclap, and I dropped the candy from my mouth in surprise.

Rain was rain, and loud noises always frightened little Mortimer. Sometimes, even after the pencil falls, it takes her a minute to recover, what can I say about the thunder.

"Oh-oh-oh... little Maddie is afraid of thunder," Dad drawled, and laughed out loud.

— I'm not afraid of anything!" It was just unexpected! Madeline shouted, wrinkling her nose and puffing out her cheeks as she sat down at the table.

"Of course, of course, you little coward —" my father squeaked in my voice, and threw a marshmallow in my daughter's direction.

- Dad! Mom! Tell him! - unable to stand it, the youngest of the family threw this very marshmallow at him and, raising her chin, grinned, - It serves you right!

"All right, stop messing around," Mom threatened with a finger and glared at Dad. Fergus raised two hands and continued to laugh.

Madeline is really happy. Their family has always been friendly. Of course, there are quarrels, but the conflict quickly passes after the pope pretends to grab his heart and pretend to be ill. She'd always wondered why he worked for the Ministry of Magic instead of some theater, a profession that suited him better.

"Baby..." my mother purred, and slowly walked over to my father, putting her hand on his shoulder. - Tomorrow you will enter a new stage of your life… And my father and I would like to have a little celebration, because you are already so big. Mom wiped away an imaginary tear and smiled. - Hogwarts is a great place where great people have studied and are studying, and I hope you will become one of them… We raised you right.

***

Maddie turned eleven in May. She was very much looking forward to this day, because, like all other children, the letter from Hogwarts must be delivered on time. For a very long time, the girl sat near the front door and looked through the mail hole. And so, at exactly 12: 00, the coveted envelope flew into the Mortimer house, and to a joyful squeak, Madeline ran to her parents ' room. On the same day, the whole family went to Diagon Alley to buy things for the next school year. Of course, she had already walked the streets of Diagon Alley, and each time she did not want to leave there. These old bookstores, the famous Ollivander wand shop, the Gringotts Bank, and the robed wizards all fueled the fire of the desire to go to the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

And she was also worried about the question: "What faculty will they determine?". Slytherin ... Gryffindor ... Hufflepuff ... Ravenclaw ... it's so hard to choose one thing, because each department is good in its own way. After numerous attempts to weigh all the pros and cons, the young sorceress could not come to a single decision. Even talking to her father didn't help her make such a difficult and responsible decision.

"Honey, I understand that this is a difficult choice that can really change your future life. The entire Mortimer family studied and graduated from Slytherin, and I'd like you to be there, too. But we are different, and if you don't want to be in this department, the Sorting Hat will take your wish into account.»

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After this conversation, it became even harder, but curly was sure that tomorrow everything would be fine, and she would make the right choice.

"Maddie?" Where are you hovering? "Honey, I think she's gone to Hogwarts ahead of time," my father snapped in front of me.…

- What? Madeline woke up. - Dad! I didn't go anywhere, I was just thinking. I muttered back and hurriedly started eating my birthday cake.

***

After a while, when the cake was finished and the plates were cleared away, Madeline went up to her room and began to look carefully at her room. It was medium in size: yellow wallpaper with a simple pattern made the room visually larger, to the right of the door was a small desk, on which were scattered notebooks and some other accessories. A large black bookcase that didn't fit into the room at all, a gray little sofa that the girl had chosen herself and kept with it even after moving in, and a small bed that was so soft that Maddie often couldn't get up.

The girl went to the desk where the wand was lying.

"The Magic Wand… The real... my ... " - thought the girl. She still couldn't believe that in just a few hours she would be going to the school of her dreams. Maddie made a promise that she would learn best and please her parents. She really wanted to be a Great Sorceress.

After twirling her wand and looking at it from all sides, her gaze darted to Katie, the owl that had been bought for her in Diagon Alley. She was so small, with a brownish-white coloring and big golden eyes. Madeline had always had a special connection with animals, even though she had never had a pet before Katie.

Smiling at the owl, the girl placed her wand on the table and began to prepare for bed.

"Honey?" "What's that?" came a voice from the other side of the door, and the next second my mother's head popped out."May I?" — what is it? " she asked, to which she received a nod from her daughter. She crept into the room, and Maddie smiled. She didn't have any makeup on now, she looked so homely, but that didn't stop her from being beautiful. Sitting carefully on the edge of the bed, Frideswida leaned over and kissed her daughter on the forehead, still smiling. In her heart, she was happy for her, because Medeline reminded her so much of her childhood, when she also opened her cherished letter with a sinking heart and waited for her departure for school.

- My dad and I are so proud of you... know that no matter what choice you make on the distribution, we love you and will always support you! Mom whispered.

— I know… It's just that I'm scared — " the sorceress replied, and felt tears begin to gather in the corner of her eyes. She was really scared of the distribution. She couldn't stop thinking about it.

- Honey… Don't worry... " her mother hugged her daughter, and the girl felt a soothing warmth. Pulling away, she placed her hands on Madeline's cheeks and looked into her eyes. - Listen to your heart… You've always been a responsible and serious girl, so I understand you. Trust your sixth sense and you won't make a mistake — " she said, and with another hug, she quietly left the room, saying good night.

"Thank you," Maddie whispered, and a few minutes later she was lost in the realm of Morpheus, looking forward to tomorrow.

#harry potter fanfics

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desperationandgin · 4 years

Text

5x04 OR: How I had so many thoughts about Jamie and Claire that I ceased to exist for an entire weekend!!!!

first of all, before I forget: I started reading Cait’s first book club pick and when I’m like...REALLY reading I tend to shy away from social media because I’ll fall into holes and then I DON’T read. So there’s that, not that anyone was worried or asked, but!

I also wanted to compose my thoughts on ‘The Company We Keep’ because it was a lot as far as J/C content goes and it ALMOST feels like overload because I feel like it’s the most we’ve gotten in so long??? So before I start gushing or WHATEVER, what I didn’t like remains the same - militia/regulators/etc. To be fair to the show, it’s the most boring part to me in the book as well, save for when there’s action involving Jamie and Claire directly. And to be even fairer, as I was watching seasons 1 and 2 I was always like ‘lol boring’ but now I go back and don’t mind it at all. I’m wondering if that’s how I’ll feel this time next year when it’s re-watch time.

The only thing that made me ???? was the weird ending but WHATEVER okay let’s just get into what we all care about the most!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I JUST DIED AGAIN????

So, I guess let’s start with Jamie not being able to stop watching Claire with wee Bonnie. Here’s what was weird: that he mentioned Bree and not Faith. I promise I won’t be one of those ‘in the books...’ people but IN THE BOOKS:

“I saw ye with the wean, Sassenach, riding. Ye’ve a great tenderness about ye always—but when I saw ye so, wi’ the bairn tumbling about beneath your cloak, it—I remembered, how it was, how ye looked, when ye carried Faith.”

I won’t lie, I really wanted that line or an approximation thereof, so there’s a tiny niggling of...I wouldn’t even call it being bummed because I LOVED WHAT THEY DID, but just a little like welp, I guess that’s what fanfic is for!

ANYWAY.

Jamie Fraser being soft for his wife holding babies really turns me into a pile of goo that cannot function for days, so jot that down.

This is also how I like my Frasers - together and stronger for it. Not loving that they’re separating and the preview for next week has me like ‘hmm’ BUT just a couple more episodes and we’re in that back half that Cait and Sam mentioned SO many times 👀👀👀

OBLIGATORY FOREHEAD AND RING KISSES MENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(is it just me or did Jamie have more scruff this episode??? y/y don’t argue with me I want it to be scruffier for my own fic purposes lkdfdsg lmao)

🚨🚨🚨 CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ALERT 🚨🚨🚨

Claire Elizabeth Fraser, I am so proud of you. I feel like even a season ago, the mention of real medical advice being total bullshit would have Claire up in arms, being stubborn, pressing her point and arguing probably until Jamie has to come in and be like ‘lol sorry for my wife she’s English.’ BUT INSTEAD she quietly read the room and just noped out and I’m so proud of her!!!! She went straight to Jamie WHAT A RELIEF LOL.

Also...they made too big a deal of Fergus using THAT piece of paper, so this thing with the article was a red herring. You should not relax. You should not think that’s the end of it. Do not forget this even though they want to lull you into a false sense of security. It was too easy.

(I forgot to mention Claire and Jamie not appreciating Fergus’ jokes lmao. I know it’s been stressful but their faces were PRICELESS.)

Now I am not so gracefully going to segue to drunk Claire. Drunk Claire dancing! Drunk Claire being entertained by her dancing husband! Drunk Clarie stumbling in the woods! Drunk Claire ready to find a secluded spot to ride Jamie (probably)! And then Jamie, seemingly stone-cold sober is like ‘so what if we keep this baby?’

AND CLAIRE’S FACE IS WHAT LITERALLY SENT ME BEYOND AND KILLED ME. CAIT’S FACE??? HER EYES??? THEY WERE SO BIG AND THERE WAS SO MUCH LOVE AND I COULD FEEL HOW MUCH SHE WISHED SHE COULD JUST ABSORB JAMIE INTO HER ENTIRE BEING AND NEVER BE WITHOUT HIM AND RAISE 9405346 BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM HONESTLY CRYINNNNNNNNN AGAIN 😭😭😭😭

Okay

Okay, I’m calm now. I can do this. Only a few more thoughts.

Mom!Claire in full effect with Alicia was beautiful. She can’t help it, she’ll mother any young soul that needs it and that’s beautiful 😢 I love her so much lmao I’m sorry I can’t stop gushing about Claire, it is what it is.

Man of the hour Jamie Fraser, willing to go back to the Ridge and raise an infant even though he has plenty of grandbairns now and he hardly gets time alone with his wife as it is - let’s just. my heart hurts??? I feel like I have a stomach ache from how pure this is, how completely earnest he is. My sweet boy would do anything for his wife and I’m just. I’m a mess. I’m a wreck about it. This love is so BEYOND. As much as I thought a sexy scene was coming, this was that soul-connecting, pure love moment I needed even more. Forehead bumps, soft kisses, sharing their hearts with one another - it’s been a long time since I’ve felt so warm and heart-eyed after an episode featuring them.

And then there was the rest of the episode, and it was fine, and I’m sure later when I’m not up in my feels I’ll appreciate it all more. OH, but the Bree stuff deserves more than a gloss over - the Bree AND Marsali stuff. Hold on, let me add a paragraph about them:

I loved Sophie in this episode, the scene where she thought Bonnet had Jem was tense and gut-wrenching, and I said out loud ‘I really wish Jamie were there!!!’ (A thing I did gloss over last week was how badly I wished Bree and Jamie had talked. Why didn’t they???) And then there was Marsali, and Lauren Lyle was pitch-perfect. Marsali’s facial expressions, her confession, her actual point - she was so compelling. I would LOVE more of Bree and Marsali together, but I am THRILLED we’ll be having more Marsali and Claire, too. And Bonnet was definitely out in those woods, right? Ugh. I NEED JAMIE TO BE HOME TOO NOT JUST CLAIRE, PLEASE.

And there we go. That’s it. I’m composed. NOW I GOTTA GO WATCH IT AGAIN!

#outlander #jamie x claire #jamie fraser #claire fraser #the company we keep #spoilers

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nellie-elizabeth · 4 years

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Outlander: Monsters and Heroes (5x09)

This episode was chalk-full of so many adorable character moments!

Cons:

The main thing that got short shrift here was the killing of the buffalo. I don't care if the details are changed - I don't really remember the exact way it went down in the book anyway. What mostly annoyed me was that I didn't get a sense of what a big deal it really was, for them to snag a buffalo kill. Other things are going on - Jamie is on the verge of death, Marsali is having her baby... but I remember in the book, it was a huge deal that they managed to kill a buffalo. It could feed so many people. I wish that moment hadn't felt so out of the blue. It was disconnected from the rest of the story in a way that felt very... episodic? And sometimes that's how the story is, but it might have been better to either keep this part out, or shift it to another moment so we could give it the full narrative weight it deserves.

I understand tightening the pacing in order to create drama, but I was a little annoyed at Brianna running in at the very last possible second with her syringe, preventing Claire from amputating Jamie's leg. I never got the sense from reading the same part in the book that it was such a stark either/or situation here. Basically, if I recall correctly, Claire essentially opens up Jamie to the bone and pours penicillin mixture deep into the tissue, and then also injects it, all with the understanding that if it fails, they might still have to amputate. Here, it was presented like Brianna had come up with a miracle fix on the spot, and I didn't like the unnecessary heightened drama of that.

Pros:

Starting with the buffalo incident, while I questioned its place in the overall pacing of the episode, I did like the way the women all played a part, with Lizzie alerting them to the buffalo's arrival, Brianna creating a distraction to lure it away from the baby, and then Claire coming in with the kill. Jamie, grievously injured, hears the disturbance, but all he can do is pull himself weakly out the door in time to see his wife and his daughter be utter bad-asses. It's a great moment, and I wish it had been given more room to breathe in the episode.

In a big way, this episode is about Jamie's relationship to his various sons. His only biological son, William, is of course absent entirely and not even mentioned. But the episode does feature Fergus, Ian, and Roger, each with their own complex relationship to the patriarch. Roger gets the lion's share of the time, as is only right. The two of them fall into misadventure while on a hunting trip, as Jamie gets bitten by a snake. Roger cuts him, sucks the venom from the wound, and waits with him as it becomes clear that Jamie is burning up from infection. He creates a litter, and drags him a great distance, until Fergus and Ian come and find them and bring them home.

I like how not very much was really said between Roger and Jamie, and yet so much was resolved. At one point, feverish, Jamie does say that he has blamed Roger somewhat for hesitating before coming back to Brianna, but that he's glad he's there with him now. That's... about it, as far as emotional honesty about their complex relationship goes. So much is unspoken, in Jamie entrusting the secret of his plan to kill Bonnet, and in Roger saying he needs Jamie to live in order to teach him how to fight. In a later moment, Roger talks about how much the maggots are going to tickle, and Jamie says that Roger Mac is always a comfort to him. We can see from Brianna and Claire's amused and pleased expressions that they've noticed a growing warmth between the two men. There's a lot of subtlety here, as it's not like Roger and Jamie were openly hostile or cruel to each other before this. Things were... fine. Maybe slightly awkward. And now there's a new intimacy there, the fact that they've shared in danger, that Jamie had to trust Roger at his most vulnerable. Roger's relationship with Jamie is the thing I find most rewarding about his character, and I like the way it was handled here.

Then there's Ian and Fergus. The two of them have a bond that began with their time in Edinburgh with Jamie, and it was nice to see a bit of that returned here. As Jamie contemplates his injury, it becomes clear that his only chance to live might be if his leg is amputated. He makes Claire promise to let him die rather than let him live as an amputee. Ian... has some thoughts about that. He points out that his father Ian Sr., and Fergus, are both living as amputees and have happy lives. Jamie argues against it, and Ian says he's ashamed of Jamie. Later, Ian tries to stop Fergus from visiting Jamie because he worries Fergus will be upset by Jamie's attitude of preferring death over losing a limb.

Fergus, the darling little lamb, has a very different perspective on things, telling Ian about what he'd said to Jamie about being a "man of leisure" when he had first lost his hand. He was teasing, but there's a deep truth to the fact that Fergus depended on Jamie to take care of him, and that Jamie never betrayed that sacred duty. And here, Fergus says that he and Marsali try to focus on the gifts they do have, and not what they don't. He has a father who he loves, and he wants to be there for him in his time of need. That's... so very, very lovely, and I love Fergus a lot.

And I love Marsali Fraser more than words can say. First off, there's the moment at the beginning where she talks about how grateful she is to have Claire around in her advanced pregnancy. Not as a physician but... as a mother. Thinking about where these two started, and how far they've come, makes me so emotional I can hardly stand it. I love that she has taken a place in the story as Claire's apprentice. It's not from the books, but it gives her more of a presence in the story at this point, which is a great thing in my opinion. And then there's the hilarious family moment, where Fergus is playing with little Germaine and Joan, when Marsali goes suddenly into labor. Fergus is going to rush off to get Claire, but Marsali says no, it's too late, Fergus has to stay. He predictably blanches at that for a moment, but steps up and helps in the delivery of their third child, little baby Félicité. They're such a precious family. I really am curious to see how close their story remains to what happens in the books.

And we must talk about Jamie Fraser almost dying. Sam Heughan does a great job with a larger-than-life character. I think there are so many things about Jamie that he does a great job of capturing. But from reading the books, there's this quiet dignity to him, this intensity where you wouldn't dare to cross him, and not because of fear, but just because of his... presence. I don't know how to describe it exactly. I've never thought Heughan had quite encapsulated this commanding aspect of Jamie's character quite right, until this episode. The moment when he's lying, covered in sweat and white as a sheet, and he tells Roger he wants to lie in his own bed... I got chills. There was such a quiet strength, such a powerful intensity to his delivery of that line. It was present, too, in the moment where he asked Claire to give her word that she wouldn't take his leg.

Then on the flip side, you have his vulnerability, the fear in his voice when he's talking to Roger, asking him if he knows the last rights. Jamie isn't the type to overreact, so if he thinks he's dying, he has good reason. He asks to be brought to his own bed, and he asks for Claire to touch him, knowing the end is near, and knowing that his wife is the only thing that can prevent him from slipping away. Both actors performed masterfully in this scene. Jamie truly did seem to be on the verge of death, and Claire went beyond logic, beyond medicine, in her desperation to tether him to life.

So there you have it - it's crazy to think of how much of the season has already passed, given how much actually has to happen for the story to progress. While I had some pacing issues, and wish that a few things had been given more room to breathe, I was over-all very impressed with this installment!

8/10

#review #outlander #outlander review

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123dragonage · 4 years

Text

Angelica Cousland.

Full Name:

Angelica Cousland

Nickname/Alias:

Ange, Angel, Elica, Cousland, Lady, My lady, My lady Cousland.

Meaning:

Variant spelling of Anglo-Saxon unisex Aglæca, meaning both "demon, monster, fiend," and "hero, warrior."

Title:

Cousland, My lady, My lady Cousland, Lady. Dìonadair fir is boireannaich - Defender of men and woman.

Pet Name:

sònraich - Ange. Aingeal - Angel. Dìonadair - Defender.

Gender:

Female.

Gender Role:

More Male than Female.

Class:

Warrior - Big Sword.

Orientation:

Straight.

Real Age:

20.

Age Appearance:

18.

Birthday:

May 22.

Birthplace:

Highever Castle.

Zodiac Sign:

Gemini.

Love Interest:

Alistair Theirin.

Immediate Family:

Father:

Bryce Cousland.

Mother:

Eleanor Mac Eanraig.

Brother:

Fergus Cousland

Sister in law:

Oriana.

Nephew:

Oren Cousland

Ethnicity:

Alamarri and a Fereldan.

Facial Type:

Heart.

Eye Colour:

Baby blue, with a forest green ring around it.

Hair Colour:

Black.

Hairstyle:

Angelica has gained her father's ruly side of her hair, while it isn't there now because of age he previously had very curly hair. Though not black, she gained his style of hair with her thick curly waves framing her face. She had it up in a tight bun with a few curls falling in front of her face, but casually it is left down because she is comfortable with it on cool days.

Makeup:

Since her look has a strong dark edge to it. Angelica viewed herself as a tomboy, not a girly woman who enjoyed pink. Red has always been something she enjoyed, usually, her eyeshadow is dark underlines with some dark grey and light sliver blended in. On good occasion, her lips were painted red, bright red or darkened red depending on the festivities. If it was normal however, she painted them like her skin and made sure it was a fairly faint color of red.

Appearance:

Body Type:

Fit - Strong built, but still curvy.

Build:

Her strong build fits the heavy swords so she has some muscles to her stomach and arms, her legs too.

Distinguishing Features:

Her hair and eyes.

Posture:

Stiff, lady-like.

Scent:

Lavender and different types of fruit.

Heroes:

Alistair, in childhood. (Find out.).

Pets/Familiars:

Hawke - Gin.

Wardrobe examples:

F-o-r-m-a-l. O-u-t-f-i-t-s. B-a-l-l-r-o-o-m. O-u-t-f-i-t-s. F-i-g-h-t-i-n-g. O-u-t-f-i-t-s. C-a-s-u-a-l O-u-t-f-i-t-s. D-a-n-c-i-n-g. O-u-t-f-i-t-s. N-i-g-h-t w-e-a-r.

Equipment/Weapons:

Cousland sword.

Third class sword.

Second class sword.

First class sword.

----------------------

Cousland Shield.

Accessories:

-Anklet - from

Rivain

woman. -Hair pin - Red mist

-Oren's handmade

rose bracelet.

-Mother's wedding ring.

-Stashed

scrunchy.

-Mother's handmade circlet.

-Mother's crystal comb.

-Another crystal, never worn.

-Rose

collection.

-Heirloom brooch.

-Hidden circlet from her traveling days.

-The personal ring she always wore.

-Set of earrings usually hidden with her hair. On one side, the right.

-another pair of dangling earrings. The left side.

-Locket with the picture of the family in it.

Element:

Wind or earth.

(Undecided.)

Biggest Failure:

Leaving her family to tour the world before she settled down to be married. When she was young her father found her to be too free among them, but she couldn't bring herself to deny the enjoyment of life. Leaving them a note she left at the age of sixteen and came back when she was twenty-one before their deaths came around.

Secrets:

Has a strong dislike for bugs, she came off as a strong woman with her choice of class. Obviously, this was something she tried to keep to herself.

Hobbies/Interests:

-Flamenco Dancing. -Belly Dancing. -Roman Havasi. -Russian Romani Dance. -A little singing. -Playing the lute. -Jewel collecting. -Making handmade jewellery and accessories like her nephew did. -Poetry reading. -Basic cooking.

Skills/Talents:

-Hand to hand chores from childhood. -Cooking, making anything basic delicous. -Giving out advise for those that need it. -Tending to children and animals. -Giving out speeches. -Acting casual and then back to her formal self. -Dancing and singing. -Playing the lute and flute. -Hidden her real feelings about things. -Acting. -Jewellery collecting. -Poetry making.

Likes:

-Music, -Dancing, -Being free, -Remembering the good times she had with her family and not the bad. -Large weapons, -Singing a little, -Poetry, -Reading, -Writing poetry, -Jewels. -Hand making jewellery, -Cooking, -Meeting people, -Having a smile on during tough times. -Camping out. -Making fun of nobles. -Fencing/duelling between nobles. -Hard work.

Dislikes:

-Anyone not willing to have some fun, or party, so very serious people are not well liked by her. -Lazy people. -Seeing how many nobles are just that in title and not noble at all. Angelica believed more commoners are nobles. -Anyone hating music, period. If you hate it she'll give out a lecture and then question how you can hate it. -Ballroom dancing, at times. -Someone making fun of her dances. -Her father being put down from his death bed or her mother. -Howe - more like despises. -Burnt food. -Being locked in a place with walls or anything like a wall around her. -Jewels being crushed to be sold. -Bad poetry. -Her acting not working around people.

Pet Peeves:

-Laziness. -Being around people too serious. -Horrible poetry. -Being forced to talk about things she plans to keep hidden.

-Children being taught to fight at a very young age.

-Parents yelling at there children.

-Children abuse.

-Animal abuse.

-Girly girls complaining too much.

Personality:

Angelica has always been adaptable, easygoing, and flexible by nature. She is always willing to try new things at least once in life. While she might go along with any plans there is always small doubts in her head that she will voice just in case, by then she is always prepared for change whether it is beneficial for everyone or not. Due to her carefree nature she knows how to fit herself in any group and situation. This heir is considered very sociable and she learned to enjoy parties. In the past staying home was very boring for her, Rather she would like to be out and about learning new things. Besides always have interesting things to say and can easily strike up conversations with strangers. Angelica is known as the popular girl of the group and can be a soft touch when talking to people. Learning to laugh was the best thing in the world, with a sharp wit and the possess of an extremely dry and sarcastic sense of humour; the usual jokes and quick-witted response may fly right over the heads of some. The individuals who can actually keep up with her train of thought and intelligence often find it hilarious. Being a charmer as her mind works very fast and draws information from eclectic resources. This gives her many opportunities to deliver a quick-witted slap and ironical responses. The one thing Angelica is proud of is her funny gigs, these are often the camps entertainment or leading toward it. The group will end up depressed during there thoughtful state and stressed state of mind. If that isn't all she is considered enthusiastic and full of life and always crave for accomplishing new and interesting things. However,

Angelica's enthusiasm is infectious at times. She is

always a little ahead of others, her mind is always working fast and she shares her thoughts with the people around her at the time. As a cousland she highly smart and intelligent. Not everything is horrible, at least there is always a chance of her saying interesting things. Angelica is shockingly a person who will have a book in your hand or involved in an activity which gives you information and updates her knowledge.

She can instantaneously see the 360-degree picture of any situation before making decisions for the next move. Mostly she wins in arguments and debates.

She considers herself the most versatile person. capable of handling multiple things at a time and excel in each. Plus multi-tasking quality helps her indulge in many things and balance between them all. After a while people learn her interest vary due to keenness and curiosity of getting knowledge and learning new things.

However, she gets bored easily. Angelica has proven that you don't have to be a rogue, to be a master of manipulating things in order to make others follow your shoes.

Angelica is often anxious and nervous during certain major events of life like moving or changing careers and marriage and unable to make the right decision. She doesn't take life seriously and act very childish at times. However, this is mostly a face. She also tends to get overly anxious about any important event of her life. Her energies are imbalanced and she keeps her stress and emotions inside of herself which makes her feel anxious.

Symbol:

Cousland Crest.

Vice:

Jealousy.

Virtue:

Hope.

Major Events.

Age 0-2 (Infancy):

The Cousland family were equally happy with there son, Fergus. However every parent wants a girl and boy in there life. On the other hand her brother also wanted to have a little sister he could protect himself. Boys, thinking that ever girl in there life is going to need someone to protect 'them'. Hardly, On the season of the blooming roses a young girl was born when both Bryce and Eleanor tried to relax on vacation in Redcliffe, it was the one place they could trust anyone in during there moments of depression. A tiny baby, was born at midnight with the loudest cry they had ever heard. Everyone just knew she was going to be a spoiled little girl when she grew into a woman - Some might say that the father was a little scared of what might come of it. Ange; Also known as Angelica was very loud, cried constantly for there attention and when she didn't get her way she cried. At times her brother would be confused over her, the emotional stress the child gave them became hard fast. However, no one could deny that her smile wasn't something they wouldn't give to miss if they didn't cheer baby Angelica up, she grew well. Stayed by her mothers side or her brother and played with Fergus and the kings son at the time.

Ages 3-9 (Childhood):

When she came to the age of around three her curiosity got the best of her a lot. Mostly in the sword fighting and gems, her mother would look at form any merchant offering his wares. Her eyes would sparkle and her mouth would be making 'Ohhh!' sounds without hiding it from her mother like any other girl would do she became rather into her mother's handmade jewels and watched her days on end. It was possible she enjoyed pretty things, or maybe she just wondered what she was doing with them at the time - Either way she learned something that wouldn't leave her. At the age of four, she followed her father around the house and grow more attached. He did everything with her when he could. As a child, she cried whenever he had to leave her at home, and sat on his lap whenever he read to her. Then the age of five made her start her dancing and singing, randomly picking dances during the parties or fair and singing along with tunes when her mother would sing or something else. When trouble with the king brought his son around she spent time watching them fight battles, asking questions to her father from six to nine of age, so much that she promised to be just like her mother and father. The parents were both worried and touched.

Ages 10-16 (Teens):

During the age of ten, Angelica became so interested in the battles that she begged her father to teach her some basics or at least train her to get stronger to handle things. Bryce said no, repeatedly, and her mother tried to soothe her tears and annoyance over this. The issue was that she was a lady, but her mother was the battle maiden herself. Is it so bad she wanted to learn to do something she was into? Safe to say, the silent treatment and refusing to spend time with him was the key to her success when she turned eleven he gave into her hard chores for two years and Angelica was more than happy to do that. So, for a few years, she spent time with nan and did basic cooking, preparation and did any stocking for her and nan was rather evil with that cane so whenever she slacked it was fixed. Not badly or harsh in any sense, but still. Then she helped her mother with her tea parties, decorating, maid work and finally she did basic training with her brother and father with her small body that was limited. Still, getting used to it was hard for those two years. So, at the age of fourteen, she grew up enough to do her lessons of being noble and began learning fencing for her dueling lessons. She was quick and listened intensely, light swords were simple to use, however, her father noted on her lack of enthusiasm and took her to his study one day. The issue was everything she did make her zoom out. The fast dueling and mocking other nobles, she could enjoy that and all. However, she had little interest on taking it full time - That was when her father got some idea of what she could do, the next day she was taken to the training area in the courtyard when the men were fighting each other. The two spent time watching them until Angelica asked him more about the big sword; there was also sword and shield, but that seemed boring to herself as well and she preferred the most challenging one there. Against his better judgement, he taught her harder things to build up the muscle she needed to weigh or move efficiently while holding such a sword. Each day, Bryce witnessed her sweating on the field and grinning when they pushed her down to after she won a fight. She continued this until she mastered the sword at the age of sixteen.

Ages 16- 21 (Adulthood):

Sixteen of age and she formed into a good warrior, with a few extra problems along with it. Usually at this time girls are rather rebellious and she was no different from them she guessed, although. She did think it was her forming out her own path so she could grow the way she wanted. Her father refused to see her as a woman and it was driving her insane, no matter what reason he had for it. Enough was enough, right? When she had her sixteenth birthday she came to her mother and told her the trouble she was having with her father. Eleanor might seem strict, but she went through the same thing with his protective nature and jealousy, even feared her little girl would gain it due to her looks going to his family at the time. While her mother was on his side.... Or tried to be to keep the peace. Angelica knew she could get him to see her way, for the moment at least. It was the afternoon she decided to gather the family for a announcement with her mother encouraging her to speak up. Her eyes went to Fergus, he grinned and nodded his head - Along with his family who grew to stick to her during there stay with them. Right. It was just Bryce Cousland, her father. No big deal, right? That night was one of the emotional nights she had ever had with her family, Oren, her nephew cried for her to stay and her father fumed at her for thinking of leaving. However, in her eyes they didn't need her when they had Fergus and if anything happened it would be because she was caught off guard. Her brother knew she was good at fighting and so did her father. Eventually, she got fed up and told him enough is enough, claiming she was grown into a teenager at least and should take her own time to grow, not have him hover. The room grew silent and everyone looked worried, glancing between Angelica and Bryce who stared at her with wide eyes, and finally clenched teeth and his shocked expression faded. It was close enough to saying she hated him. Though it could have been a over reaction on his part, Angelica never looked back on the day and got ready to leave. He never came to see her off with her mother, but Eleanor claimed its hard to see his little girl go.

Trivia:

-Her father and herself grew distant when she left.She never got the chance to say she was sorry, or even try and talk to him before finding them dead on the floor. -She has a known love for jewels and handmade things.Maybe it was just in memory of her nephew.

-Learned to smile no matter the cost. Angelica is also known to act.Even though things seem dire, she isn't going to show it unless someone brings it up.

-The Cousland worked around hard work when she was a little girl. Her father thought of her as his darling girl, which made it rather hard to join in with the hard work. However, being his favourite also made it wonderful considering her 'Puppy Dog' eyes worked wonders on him. She worked through normal chores with her Nan and was watched over rather well with her siblings. -Angelica is good with light weight swords, but she found them too easy for her and unlike her mother she followed the path of a broad sword instead. She might be a little girl, but smashing insolent... Things appealed to her mother than anything. However, there was just something about going on a duel and humiliating a noble, considering they have more ignorance than nobility in them. -During her younger years she spent much time with her brother and the king, pulling pranks on everyone. Till this day, she couldn't give up the fun and found it as a useful cure for worries and anything else on there mind. -Camping has always been a favourite, which is why she seemed so comfortable and knowledgeable during there adventures. -Angelica is in fact girly, just a bit with her jewels collection. -In her spare time or when her mind has too many things going on, she settles for writing poetry. -Rivain was a place of dance and music, party, she found it enjoyable to go there when she was a younger girl. It learned her to always smile to make the difficulty ease off a little, the dancing was so rich and new she learned it until she had perfection of it. Her father disapproved of the place due to there non-serious way of living, which ended there relationship since she left anyway. -Nan and her mother dragged her to cook when she was just a little girl. During that time she learned the basics of cooking, but fell into her fighting and other chores so she never tried cooking for everyone. Some things just stick to you. -The flute was more known with the city elves at home, she learned that from them and found herself playing it when she can't sleep. The lute on the other hand, was taught to her by a woman in Rivain. -She adores birds; her Hawke was given to her by the same Rivain woman. Gin is very protective and tends to attack others nearby for fun. On the other hand it likes Morrigan more than Alistair.

Theme song(s):

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takemeawaytocamelot · 7 years

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A Wild Night in Vegas -- Part 18.1

As promised in my teaser, here’s the newest chapter of Vegas! @outlandishchridhe and I are really really excited about where this story is going and we can’t wait to share it with you. There is a lot going on in this chapter, so it turned into another monster chapter and it’s broken up into 3 parts. The next chunks will come out on the next few Tuesdays, which will hopefully give us enough time to get 19 written and edited.

Catch up on chapter 17 HERE or the whole series HERE

Claire sat down with a hard thump, still looking at the picture of her license on her phone. Jamie knelt down in front of her, taking in her vacant expression.

“Are ye alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just… I passed. It doesn’t feel real.”

“But ye did it. I’m so proud of ye, mo chridhe.”

Her eyes drifted up and met his.

“I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you.”

“I didna do much. It was all your brilliance. Because this is what ye were meant for.”

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to her forehead, as she breathed out a laugh.

She pulled her head down to his, kissing him.

“Well,” he said as they maneuvered into their chairs for lunch. “Now that yer a real, licensed nurse, perhaps ye can gi’ me a physical sometime soon?”

Jamie waggled his eyebrows at her, giving her his version of a wink and sending her into a fit of giggles.

“Maybe sometime soon,” she said, still laughing. She pulled him close again, licking the tiny bit of mustard left on his lips before kissing him soundly. She pulled back, mischief sparkling in her eyes. “But it’ll cost you… by the hour.”

###

Claire had Fergus laid out on a blanket on the floor, playing with him and giggling.

“Who’s a handsome lad? You are!”

Jamie watched her for a moment before he broke the spell.

“Sassenach, would ye do me a favor?”

“Sure. What do you need?”

“Weel… I’m no’ sure we can do what I need just yet,” he said with a smirk while she rolled her eyes. “But since it’s a big day for ye, I thought ye should get a nice dessert for us to have tonight.”

“Oh! Sure, I can run down to the store for a moment.”

Fergus kicked his tiny legs.

“No, no’ just to the store. Ye should pick up a cake from that bakery ye like. This is a celebration, aye?”

“Are you sure? That’s a little further than the market.”

“Ye deserve the best, mo graidh. Dinna fash.”

She stood and took Fergus with her.

“Ah, could ye leave the lad here?”

“I… Well I was just going to take him with me. It would be good for him to get out, too.”

Jamie shrugged.

“Aye, it would. But… I think we need some manly father and son bonding time, aye?”

“Manly bonding? What exactly does that mean?”

“Och Sassenach! I canna be tellin’ ye that! It goes against the code! We mustn’t tell the womenfolk.”

Laughing, she handed the baby over and shook her head.

“Fine. I’ll leave my Fraser men here alone for a little while.”

He reached out and pulled her back for a moment, stealing a quick kiss before she grabbed her purse and keys. She faltered a little as she got to the door, looking back with a little panic on her face. But Jamie just smiled and raised Fergus’s wee hand to wave at her, saying, “It will be alright, mo nighean donn. We’ll be here when ye get back.” Nodding at his statement, she blew a kiss at Jamie and Fergus before turning back around to open the door. Once the door was closed and she was out of earshot, Jamie looked down at his son.

“Alright, lad. There’s a lot to ken about women and I think you’re a wee bit young to tell too much to. But… it’s important to celebrate them. Especially when they accomplish something as impressive as your mam has. So you’re gonna help me make her a nice dinner, aye?”

Fergus just gurgled in reply, which Jamie took as an agreement. Grabbing the swing, he brought it into the kitchen and settled Fergus into it before getting to work in the kitchen. He was sure to explain what he was doing as he went, so his son knew what was going on.

When Claire came back, Jamie was taking the stuffed noodles out of the oven.

“Sorry that took so long she said,” dropping her purse by the door. “They were bloody busy and-”

She stopped, staring at the table. A tall candle sat in the center of the table, waiting to be lit. Fergus was dressed in clean clothes, quietly flailing his little arms. Jamie set the dish down on a trivet before taking the cake from Claire.

“Jamie… what is all this?”

He put the cake down on the counter and pulled out a chair for her.

“Weel, see Fergus wanted to do something nice for his mam, ken? So he thought we should make ye a nice dinner and surprise ye wi’ it. The stuffed noodles were his idea.”

“Oh? And he told you this?”

“Aye. Ye can say a lot wi’ your eyes. He didna need to speak a word.”

Wiping at the tears leaking down her face, she hugged Jamie hard.

“This is wonderful. Thank you both.”

“I also thought, if ye wanted, we could have a wee bit o’ the whisky Henry gave us.”

Her smile faded and she glanced at Fergus who was currently blowing drool bubbles.

“Jamie, I’m still breast feeding. I can’t feed Fergus if I’ve had whisky.”

“Ye still have that pump, aye?”

“Well… I could feed him now and pump after the whisky…”

She looked worriedly at their son.

“I… I suppose I could…” she repeated, still feeling a bit uncertain.

“Just a wee bit. But if ye dinna want any, we can save it for later.”

Her gaze moved to the bottle on the table and she licked her lips.

“I’ll go feed him right now. Pour me a wee dram, would you darling?”

“Of course, my lady.”

While she was busy with the bairn, Jamie lit the candle and poured them both a dash of the whisky. It wouldn’t be fair to Claire if he had a full drink while she did not.

She came back out to the table, wiping Fergus’ face before setting him back in the swing. Jamie handed her the glass and took up his own.

“Might I make a toast?”

“Sure,” she said.

“To a woman of vast intelligence, who kent what she wanted and didna let anything stop her. To the woman who blessed me with a braw lad and gives me more joy every morning when I wake beside her. To the one woman who means the world to me and grows more beautiful by the day. To my wife, Claire Fraser, licensed nurse.”

Claire clinked her glass with his and took a sip. Her eyes rolled back and she let them close before she swallowed.

“Oh… Henry knows good whisky.”

“Aye, he does.”

“This means so much to me, Jamie. Thank you.”

Pulling her chair out for her, he got her settled before taking his own seat. He served them both, fully content with his life.

###

After a hectic week of packing, Claire, Jamie, and Fergus finally moved into their new apartment.

“Jamie? Where’s the box with Fergus’ clothes?”

The ginger head popped around a corner.

“In the nursery,” he said with a grunt.

Jamie and Murtagh finished carrying in the couch, setting it down in the new living room. The one bedroom apartment they’d had before had become far too small. Henry had found a new place for them, cutting them a fantastic deal on the rent.

The three bedroom apartment was in a decent neighborhood and it was in a newer building. Fergus would have his own room now, leaving them with an extra room to use as they needed.

“Was that the last o’ it?” Murtagh asked.

Claire carried Fergus down to his nursery and dug through the box to put him in fresh clothes. Murtagh had offered to help move them once Henry found the apartment. She hadn’t been thrilled, letting him paw through their things, but it was free labor.

“Aye,” Jamie answered, sitting down on the couch he’d just carried up.

“No,” Claire said, taking Fergus and walking out to sit beside Jamie. “There’s still the last box of kitchen things that needs to come up. I think it’s the heavy one or I’d get it.”

Murtagh swore quietly in Gaelic.

“That bloody box… I’ll go and bring it up then.”

When the door closed, Jamie turned to her. She hastily cleared the sour expression from her face and gave her husband a serene smile.

“Claire…”

“Yes, darling?”

Jamie sighed and shook his head slowly.

“Murtagh volunteered to help us. Ye couldna carry that bloody couch up here.”

“No, I couldn’t. And I appreciate him helping us move.”

“What would ye say to us takin’ him to dinner, then? Or ordering something in and having him over?”

She fought back her urge to grimace.

“Perhaps once we’re settled and have everything put away.”

Jamie nodded.

“Thank ye, mo nighean donn.”

He leaned in and stole a kiss.

“You’ll owe me for this, James Fraser.”

“Aye. I suppose ye can put it on my tab then, Sassenach.”

###

Two weeks after they’d moved into their new apartment, Jamie prepared for his first day at work. He walked frantically around in circles, trying to remember where things had been put away.

“What are you looking for, love?” Claire asked, bouncing Fergus.

“My bloody keys!”

“They’re hanging up beside the door.”

He turned and found them, clutching them in white knuckles.

“Fergus, my darling, do you think your da might be nervous about his new job?”

“Aye!” Jamie said. “O’course I’m nervous! Henry got me this job and I dinna want to mess it up.”

Claire bounced her way over to where Jamie stood beside the door.

“Come here, love. Give your da a kiss before he goes off to work.”

Jamie took Fergus into his arms and relaxed.

“Take good care of yer mam, lad. I’ll be home for dinner,” he said, giving Fergus a kiss on his his head.

“You’ll be great, Jamie. I know you. This job is perfect for you. And you won’t be home at three in the morning.”

She took Fergus back and smiled up at her husband. Holding the baby carefully, she gave him a sweet kiss which ended far too soon.

“I love ye, mo chridhe.”

“I love you too. Now go, or you’ll be late on your first day.”

“I’ll call ye later.”

Taking Fergus’ tiny hand, Claire waved at Jamie as he rushed out the door. After it closed, the apartment felt big and quiet. Fergus gazed up at her, his expression curious.

“I guess it’s just you and me, lad,” she said.

The day passed slowly for Claire. It was strange to be in the apartment without Jamie. Some part of it didn’t feel quite like home yet. Their bedroom didn’t even smell like them yet, which made it feel more like a hotel room than a home. But that would change.

When Fergus went down for his nap, Claire pulled out her phone and snapped a quick photo to send Jamie. She wasn’t sure when, or if, he’d be able to look at it, but he’d have something to smile about.

After eating a sandwich for lunch, Claire rinsed her plate off and set it up to dry. Her phone rang and she jumped to answer it before it disturbed the blissfully quiet baby.

“Hello?”

“Sassenach!”

Everything inside her relaxed at the sound of his voice. She was proud of him, but she’d gotten used to having around and she missed him.

“Hey! How’s everything going? Did you get the photo I sent you earlier?”

“Aye! I did get it! I made it the background on my phone so I can see the bairn while I’m no’ wi’ him. How is he?”

“He’s quiet at the moment. We’ve had a good day though. But how is your job? Is everyone treating you alright?”

It was quiet for a moment and she thought he’d hung up.

“Aye,” he said, his mouth obviously full of his lunch. “Everyone’s been verra good. This is a great job. I’ll be home in a few hours and I dinna have any new bruises!”

Claire couldn’t help but laugh.

“That’s good, Jamie. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank ye, a nighean. Are ye sure you’re alright at home?”

“Yes, we’re just fine. I’ll have something nice ready for dinner when you get home. To celebrate your first day.”

“That’s verra sweet of ye, Sassenach.”

The line fell quiet again and Claire suspected he was eating his lunch.

“Would it be silly for me to say I miss ye, Sassenach?”

Her chest warmed at his words, taking comfort from them.

“No, it wouldn’t be silly. We miss you too.” Jamie could hear the tinge of sad longing in her tone as she said it, though she’d been trying to hide it.

“Good. Because I do. I miss ye both terribly. I’m verra glad to have regular hours.”

“We’re glad too.”

Fergus started to fuss.

“I’m afraid I need to change your son’s nappy again.”

“Gi’ him a kiss for me, aye?”

“Of course. Have a good rest of your day, Jamie. I love you.”

“I love ye too, Claire. I’ll call ye before I head home.”

Between feeding and changing Fergus, Claire somehow got dinner made. She’d just finished setting the table when Jamie came home.

“Sassenach!”

“You’re right on time!” she cried, rushing over to him.

Jamie hung his keys up and gathered her in his arms.

“Whatever ye made smells wonderful. But Christ it’s good to hold ye.”

“I feel exactly the same way,” she replied, gripping him tightly to her and taking a deep breath. He smelled so good and she could feel the tension in her body release a bit. Jamie felt it too, not realizing that he had been tense all day as well. He took a deep breath in her curls.

“How’s the bairn?” he asked after a moment, swaying with her.

Reluctantly she let him go so he could see his son. The apartment felt more like home now that Jamie was there. Everything else would find its place in time.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #a wild night in vegas au #jamie and claire #also featuring: baby fergus #also featuring: murtagh #takemeawaytocamelot #outlandishchridhe #ish died with all the cute baby things #i have the comments to prove it

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clairebeauchampfan · 5 years

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Tripe. Bollocks. Absolute tosh. Deliberate distortions? Anyway, how would they know? Many ES claimed they only watched the first three episodes, then gave up because there wasn’t enough sex..(I mean, intimacy). did these people watch the whole series? Were they paying attention to what was actually going on?

gaelic-fullmoon-lady

Only at the start…😩 Season 4 she’s soap-opera-equipment

accardi1921

Yeah,where did this character go she's talking about? Not badass in S4 & doesn't always have to be but S4 Claire was Just so unhappy looking.

mylessanchez

Session 4 she’s an after thought. She had nothing in season 4. She entertained his admirers and rubbed his shoulders. Had to have irked Cait to no end

Etcetera etcetera (and ‘liked’ by people who should know better) . What a load of absolute cobblers. So here we go, Claire apparently had NOTHING to do in Season 4. Perhaps they’ve forgotten. Most likely they just blindly followed the reviews of people who were absolutley determined to be negative about the Season, about Outlander and about Caitriona Balfe, as they have been since 1st January 2018. I wonder why?

Episode 1 Claire rescues Bonnett from hanging. Badass Claire Claire sets off with her husband into a new land where they have only one relative, aunt Jocasta Claire loses her wedding ring; has presence of mind to swallow one. Badass Claire.

Episode 2 Claire encourages Jamie to reject Aunt Jocasta’s inheritance; a life of ease and luxury, because she can’t own slaves. She faces down the lynch mob; patches up Rufus, then has the courage to give him a poison to spare him from a lynching, thus breaking her hypocratic oath - first, do no harm. Badass Claire much.

Episode 3 Claire sets of with her husband into the wilderness. She can ride a horse, confront ghosts, load and fire an eighteenth century rifle. Claire is badass Claire

Episode 4 Dr Claire fixes up Myers and , husband wounded after confrontation with the man bear: makes friends with wise woman from potentially hostile indigenous people, the Cherokee. Does Claire run screaming back to civilisation? No, Claire is badass Claire.

Episode 5. Dr Claire brings baby into world. No epidurals, no midwife....Dr Claire is badass doctor. Dr Claire stops Mueller from starting war with cherokees by interposing herself between them. Badass Claire. ‘Vulture’ recap: “Claire gathers her gun, Rollo, and some decent beef jerky, and hunkers down in the cabin. She’s terrified, but in a very badass way. Mueller finally arrives, but not to kill Claire — he wants to make sure she’s okay. He also wants to give her a gift. In a horrifying reveal, Claire opens the package to find Adawehi’s scalp. I’m sorry, but the fact that Claire hasn’t had some type of breakdown yet after suffering through an unreal amount of atrocities just seems ridiculous at this point. But she soldiers on. She throws Mueller out, gives Adawehi a proper (as proper as she can) send off, and still, the carnage continues”

Episode 6 Dr Claire saves Lord Johyn from the measles, survives having her husband’s would-be gay lover and Jamie’s by-blow son drop in on them, exchanges some brutal truths with Lord John. Badass Claire

Episode 7 Yeah, okay, Claire wasn’t in THIS ONE frigging episode. Oh My God! Her badass daughter is instead.

Episode 8. Dr Claire works with her husband to save Murtagh from arrest, performs operation on local corrupt official . As Vulture says:

“There is chaos! There is commotion! Claire says he needs surgery immediately or he will die! Even in the midst of this, men are like, “But you have a vagina, how can you wield a scalpel!?” Honestly, Claire should just let Fanning suffer, but she’s a professional, so she orders everyone INTO THE LOBBY to get set up for emergency surgery. Meanwhile, she gets the low-down from Jamie, who needs her to distract Tryon as he runs off to warn Murtagh of the trap; Tryon can’t know Jamie’s gone.

Jamie uses George and Martha Washington as a sort of Colonial Lyft to get to Fergus and Marsali’s (they had a boy, BTW), and has Fergus find Murtagh while Jamie tries to slip back into the theater unnoticed. Don’t worry guys, it all works out! Although, it’s a little unsettling that Tryon knows exactly who Murtagh is. Keep an eye on our guy, Jamie!

And sure, saving Murtagh is exciting and all, but the most exhilarating part of the entire excursion to the theater is Claire, back in her element, crushing some impromptu surgery. Before you know it, she’s three knuckles deep in that dude’s abdomen and not even breaking a sweat. Governor Tryon is impressed, Fanning’s dummy doctors are impressed, we’re all impressed. You also must remember that while Claire is successfully performing surgery under less-than-desirable circumstances, she is also successfully saving her husband’s ass by distracting Tryon. She manages both tense tasks with a cool composure. Never forget that Claire’s the true hero of this show. If only the entire episode had just been Claire, Jamie, and George Washington”

Episode 9. The reunion. Claire is bowle4 over by her badass daughter travliing back through time to warn her mom about the fire. Claire , badass Claire, says nonchalently: we’ll just go have a holiday every year on that day.

Vulture recap again:

“Brianna is pregnant and Claire figures it out. After a hilarious fight about why Brianna didn’t pack condoms for her trip to the 1700s (moms are moms no matter the century), Bree confesses that it might not be Roger’s baby, and the truth (without naming Bonnet) comes spilling out. This is definitely Sam Heughan’s episode, but can we give it up for how incredible Caitriona Balfe is in this scene as Claire processes a whole slew of emotions at once? “

Episode 10 No much badassery, to be sure . Here’s Vulutre again to remind us:

“As important as that Jamie-Bree conversation is, and as nice as their shared moment commenting on how at peace Claire seems in the wilderness is, the parent-child moments in this episode that moved me the most belonged to Claire and Bree. The ladies talking about what they missed back in their time — cheeseburgers, Led Zeppelin, and toilets that flush, to name a few things — was a rare lighter scene on Outlander, and brought me so much joy! Claire compassionately and tactfully discussing abortion as an option for Bree was a great reminder of both how Claire is a woman ahead of her time literally and figuratively and of the strength of this mother-daughter relationship. It’s all pretty great.

and Badass Claire takes the side of her daughter against the man she loves, like a real mom! And rides into the wilderness to find and rescue roger from that seriously badass tribe, the Mohawk, just a 700 mile ride away in upper NY state. Badass?

Episode 11 Vulture again; my memory’s not what it was

Regardless of their scant airtime (in this episode) , Jamie and Claire get the best scene of the episode — maybe the best of the season.Things between Claire and Jamie are still very icy since separating from Bree, and no amount of ignoring it to focus on Claire’s fabulous headband will change that. Even Ian is begging Mom and Dad to make up. Finally, Claire gets to a point where she just can’t watch Jamie in so much pain over what he’s done to Brianna.She (Claire) he goes to him in his tent one night and explains that she’s not mad at him — she’s mad at the world. She explains that after Frank died, she and Brianna shared secrets and they belonged to them — so she’s sorry she didn’t tell Jamie about Bonnet as soon as she found out, and she blames herself for this entire mess. She explains that their marriage is different now because they’re parents. Listen, you guys, two people talking about the difficulties of balancing being a parent with being in a marriage is typically a snoozefest, but Balfe and Heughan are just so freaking good together (what’s new, I know) and imbue such vulnerability and honesty in this moment (I’m still sobbing over Jamie admitting that he’s worried both Bree and Claire think Frank was the better man), that I’ll be thinking about this scene for days. Sure, after Claire assures Jamie that Bree didn’t mean what she said and knows that Jamie for sure didn’t mean what he said and they both say “I’m sorry” and they both wipe away tears from their gorgeous faces, they have sex in that tent

Episode 12 OMG this episode didn’t feature Claire. Shock, horror

Episode 13 Badass Claire and her husband try to rescue Roger from the Mohawks. it all goes wrong. There’s a fight. Badass Claire is wearing the stone from the future! How badass do you have to be as a woman to go, outnumbered, under armed, into the wilderness, to rescue your daughter’s husband from a people whose track record is um.er...(how can one put this in non-judgemental terms?)..to use extreme methods when putting people to death.

So there you have it: ‘not badass’ in Season 4? In Season 4 as an afterthought? Soap opera equipment ? She had ‘nothing’ in Season 4? I’ve gone on about how Cait-Haters have misused pictures of Claire holding her arms (which she does in EVERY season) as proof she is unhappy. Well, lots of unhappy things happen in Season 4, to Claire, to her friends, to her daughter. It would have been odd if she’s looked happy the whole time, wouldn’t it. I know I’d have been terrified, most of the time, in her position. Here’s some pix of Claire looking sad in Season 4.

#Badass Dr. Claire Beauchamp

#samcait samxcait samandcait outlander season4

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teenybeanielinguine · 5 years

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Outlander Season 5 - A Girl Can Dream

It’s been a little over two weeks since the Season 4 finale... and DAMN, the withdrawal is hitting me hard. I’ve rewatched all my favorite scenes, re-read all my favorite passages, and scoured Tumblr for every piece of fanfiction available. But nothing seems capable of filling the Outlander-shaped void in my heart.

Since I clearly have nothing better to do (not true; there are A LOT of other things I should be doing), I’ve decided to grace you all with my unsolicited thoughts (no need to thank me). Season 5 has no announced release date, but I’m not known for my patience, so I’m hopping on the crazy train a little early. Destination: The Fiery Cross. (Spoilers ahead.)

About The Fiery Cross

I’ve read quite a few posts that label Drums of Autumn as the pivotal point in the series. I respectfully disagree.

DoA felt like the next step in a gradual evolution. It’s true that Bree and Roger gained their independence from the J/C plotline in DoA, but DG had been prepping us for this divergence for quite a while. Claire was our only narrator in Outlander, and while she remains the only 1st person POV, other characters have been quietly adding their voices to hers. Roger joined her in Dragonfly in Amber, followed by Jamie and John Grey in Voyager, and we finally get Brianna in Drums of Autumn (that’s RIGHT: in the main books, we hear Roger’s POV before we ever hear Jamie’s). Because of these constantly expanding POVs, DoA just felt like a natural progression, rather than a huge departure from the status quo.

The Fiery Cross, on the other hand, feels like a turning point. Not only is it the first book to not get a newly added POV, but the story starts to get a little... unpredictable.

All of the books have a fair amount of twistiness and unpredictability, but our characters have pretty clear goals in each installation so far: get back to the stones, save Jamie from Black Jack, prevent the Rising, prevent Culloden, make Brianna believe the truth, find Jamie after 20 years, rescue Young Ian, establish the Ridge, warn Jamie and Claire about the fire, rescue Roger... I know I’m generalizing here, but you get the point. Our heroes all have clearly defined end goals, and they’re putting all their energy into achieving them, despite the twists and turns that DG throws their way. The characters may not always succeed, but you, the reader, always know where the story is headed.

By the start of The Fiery Cross, the goals are a little broader, more nebulous. There may be unrest in North Carolina, the American Revolution may be looming in the distance, but basically the Fraser family just wants to live in peace on the Ridge. That’s it. No daring rescues, no dramatic reunions; they just want some peace and quiet. Of course, they aren’t going to get it, because this is Outlander-verse, where Murphy’s Law is on steroids.

So the Frasers play it by ear, taking on every new challenge as it comes. There is no clear path forward, they just have to react as best they can to the events around them. In consequence, the reader gets a series of smaller meandering stories, with the distinct feeling that something bigger is happening in the background. I personally love this, because I have no clue what’s going to happen next, so when something big happens, it takes me completely by surprise. And you get to see the characters just exist in day-to-day life, which is the best. Some of the characters still have personal goals (spoiler alert: Stephen Bonnet definitely did NOT die in that explosion), but the pursuit of those goals isn’t driving the story nearly as much as in past installments.

This is all to say that, while Season 5 is going to have to hit some major plot points, there is (in my opinion) a fair amount of breathing room for interpretation, and lots of fun to be had. I’m fascinated to see the show tackle this new challenge.

My Wish List for Season 5

When I say “wish list”, I don’t mean to imply a series of demands. I have no creative control over the adaptation, and I’m not listing these wishes in the vain hope that someone on the production team will notice. This is just for fun, and I will be perfectly content if none of these make it into the show. Also, not all of these are pulled from the book; some of them are just things I would love to see.

So here are my top ten wishes, in no particular order:

Roger the Fangirl. In the midst of all the Roger-hate this past season, the OL fandom has forgotten one crucial fact: Roger is the ultimate J/C shipper. This romantic idiot is the whole reason that Claire went back in time to find Jamie! You’d think Jamie’s fists would have beaten the ship right out of Roger, but if last season proves anything, it’s that Roger doesn’t give up easily. He’s gonna keep shipping like his life depends on it, and there are some really cute moments in TFC where he fangirls over how adorable Jamie and Claire are together (also, Jamie is going to become his new idol). I suppose it would be unrealistic to hope that he and Murtagh form a fan club next season...?

Brothers and Sisters. Am I the only one who wanted to scream when Brianna and Fergus were right next to each other in the Wilmington jail and they didn’t acknowledge each other? By the end of S4, we don’t even know whether Fergus and Marsali know about Bree’s existence (I mean, Fergus helped capture Bonnet, but he and Marsali didn’t say a word about Bree), and that frustrates me to no end. The books skipped over the getting-to-know-you stuff too, which is crazy considering that they are siblings (adopted or not)! I would kill for a scene where Jamie and Claire are struggling to explain why they have a fully-grown daughter, as well as some bonding time between siblings. Bree and Marsali are definitely going to get along, cause badass women stick together.

The Snake Bite. The snake bite incident (aftermath included) is one of my favorite sequences in TFC. It brings Roger and Jamie closer together, it shows the courage of the Fraser women in a crisis, and it rallies the entire Ridge community in their worry for Jamie. I suppose it’s sadistic of me, but I loved watching everyone freak out when they thought Jamie was going to die or lose a leg. And then the 20th century women come to the rescue! An entire episode dedicated to that whole plotline would be amazing.

Grannie and Grand-da. Claire and Jamie are not only adorable as grandparents, they’re relatable AF. They might love their new grandson to pieces, but that’s not going to stop them from being honest about the realities of childcare. Jamie in particular is hilarious; he builds an entire house at top speed to get away from the screeching baby (and his newly reunited parents), and then he compares Bree unflatteringly to the white sow (not to her face, of course; see Chapter 30 for a good laugh). I’d love to see that side of Jamie and Claire next season.

Wolf’s Brother. We might have said a tearful goodbye to Young Ian in the S4 finale, but we haven’t seen the last of him. My guess is that he’s going to make a dramatic reappearance in the S5 finale, but I really hope we see him before then. Showing Young Ian’s time among the Mohawk would give Outlander a chance to showcase the amazing First Nations actors that appeared in S4 (Braeden Clarke, anyone?) as well as explore how Ian slowly blends his Highland upbringing with Mohawk customs.

Claire the Science Nerd. So far all of Claire’s medical expertise has been utilized in life-or-death situations, but establishing a medical practice on the Ridge gives her the opportunity to geek out over plants and experiment in reproducing 20th century medicine in the 18th century. Over the course of TFC, she gives genetics lessons, performs two tonsillectomies, and produces penicillin (among other things). This passion for her craft is one of the reasons I love Claire so much. And her nerd moments aren’t always serious: one of my favorite scenes in the book features Claire and her microscope giving Jamie a hilarious lesson in reproductive biology.

Fraser’s Ridge. We didn’t get to see much of the Ridge community in S4, although Jamie did allude to the farmers who contributed the grain to make whisky. The community is comprised of a growing array of Scottish immigrants, and the drama they bring to Claire and Jamie’s lives wavers between amusing and disastrous. I don’t think the show will have time to explore the entire cast of characters, but I’m hoping to see Thomas Christie and his children introduced, at least. I’ve always found Tom Christie a strangely compelling character; his children, on the other hand, are nothing more than a necessary evil. I also really hope we meet the twins, Josiah and Keziah Beardsley (Lizzie’s story is about to get really interesting).

The MacKenzie Bloodline. Despite all the time-traveling she’s been doing, Claire has yet to meet any of her ancestors (that we know of... DG might be holding out on us). Roger, on the other hand, is not going to be so lucky (if you’ve read all eight books, you’ll know that Roger runs into his ancestors A LOT). By the end of S4, I’m not sure Jamie is aware that his daughter is married to Geillis Duncan and Dougal MacKenzie’s descendant, but I wanna be there when he and Murtagh find out (a perfect opportunity for some good dialogue and tension). And while Roger may be able to explain his ancestry to Jamie and Murtagh (both of whom are fully aware of the existence of time travel), he’s not going to be able to give the same explanation to Jocasta. In the beginning of TFC, there’s a really great conversation between Jocasta and Roger where Jocasta is kinda fishing around for clues about Roger’s family. Roger, of course, can’t tell her that he’s actually her great-great-grandnephew (give or take a few ‘great’s). My hope is that the show includes some version of this conversation and continues to play around with Roger’s MacKenzie heritage (and all its implications).

Future Talk. With three time-travelers in the family, there’s bound to be some discussion of the future. Especially with the tension mounting in North Carolina and Murtagh aligning himself with the Regulators. I am yearning for some deep discussion between Jamie, Murtagh, and the travelers about the events to come. I have a hunch that either Claire or Bree has already informed Murtagh about the American Revolution, based on a comment he made to Jocasta about a “different ending”, but I want to see it actually played out on screen. The interplay between the characters who know the future and those who don’t is fascinating to me, and I want more of it.

Jamie the Protector. Jamie’s protective instincts have had some disastrous consequences this past season, but he is going to redeem himself next season. Early on in TFC, Jamie claims Roger as the “son of his house”, and he proceeds to stand by that claim throughout the book, especially in the aftermath of Roger’s wrongful hanging at the hands of Governor Tryon. This time, Jamie’s protective feelings aren’t going to result in a beating, though it’s a close call. I love this shift, from Jamie beating Roger to Jamie protecting/avenging Roger; it’s a very satisfying development.

Bonus: Geese. Brianna and Roger may have a child together, but they have never lived together as a married couple. They also don’t have very much experience being in a serious relationship (S4 showed us that they really don’t know how to argue properly). However, they have both grown up quite a bit since their hand fasting, and you get to see them learning how to coexist in Chapter 33 of TFC. It’s a great scene, where Roger’s just come back with the militia, and he and Bree have a meaningless fight because she hasn’t had it easy since the militia left. But they resolve their argument peacefully as Bree vents her frustrations to Roger and gives him a drawing of some geese as a Christmas present. A really wonderful everyday moment.

There are, of course, more things I’d like to see, but these are my favorites. I thought I’d list them out now, since this is going to be a LONG Droughtlander, and I am sure to get obsessed with something else eventually (the new A Discovery of Witches show looks promising). Also, I’m going to temporarily forget about Season 5 if Bees comes out first.

What are your wishes for Season 5? If you choose to respond, please be kind and respectful.

#a few wishes #so bored #outlander #outlander season 5 #the fiery cross

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lonely-bored-writer · 5 years

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Can’t Get Rid Of Me

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: If there is one thing Gabriel is good at, it's annoying people to the point they want to bash their head into a wall. A Cosmic Entity isn't any different to him.

It was a now or never moment, another family quarrel he could have ran away from once again. Loki's words remained with him though, he always ran and he couldn't do it again. He couldn't let him be right, so when his eyes landed on Micheal he knew what he was going to do, he was ready to defeat Micheal, or die trying. That thought did nothing to stop the sheer amount of fear and regret that torn through him when the blade pierced through his vessel.

The archangel didn't know what to expect when his eyes opened again, but it wasn't this. He hadn't been expecting to wake up in complete darkness, to feel the strong energy from the being before him. The being that matched him exactly.

"Another angel that couldn't stay asleep." Gabriel bit back a laugh, a smirk sliding across his face at the odd accent the Entity had. "I've survived one of you angels before, but you aren't leaving."

"Aw, but from what I heard you get cranky when you don't sleep." Gabriel quipped back, pulling a baby voice, his smirk growing at the look of annoyance that filled the Entity's features.

"I've handled an annoying angel before." Entity drawled, glaring at the other. "You won't be any different."

"Oh that? My baby bro ain't got shit on me." Gabriel grinned, slipping his hand into his jacket pocket. The Entity's eyebrows furrowed as he met the Angel's eyes.

"And why would the be?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at the smug look the angel was sporting.

"Because, I'm..." Gabriel paused, dramatically pulling out a pair of sunglasses and sliding them over his eyes. Earning an annoyed glare from the cosmic entity. "The Meme Lord." The statement was punctuated with a kazoo being places between his lips, a tune haphazardly following. Entity's eyes slide closed with a deep breath, hands clenching by his side before his posture relaxed.

"You aren't going to get out of this one." Entity drawled out, the tense in his shoulders relaxing while the archangel continued to play a crude rendition of All star by Smash Mouth. In response to the Entity's statement, Gabriel increased the volume of his playing pulling a growl from the other being. "You'll get tired, you can't keep this up forever.

Thirty-seven minutes. That was how long Gabriel had spent playing his kazoo before it was torn from his lips and thrown into the abyss. Which left him and Entity sitting across from each other on the dark floor, having a... little debate.

"You have to sleep." Entity grounded out, Gabriel felt satisfied at seeing the other's hands gripping the jacket.

"Why?" Gabriel countered, his posture much more relaxed, a lazy grin resting across his lips.

"Because you have to."

"But, why?"

"Because I said so!"

"Why?" A growl left the Cosmic Entity at yet another why, while Gabriel's grin only widened.

"Because you're a nuisance." Entity growled out, his hands tightening until the knuckles turned white. Gabriel could practically hear the other's teeth grinding against each other. If there was one thing the archangel enjoyed, it was getting a rise out of anyone.

"Yea, but why?"

"Because I need sleep and I can't sleep if you don't!" Entity's voice was harder, angrier, felt as if his bones shook at the sound, as much as he probably should have been worried, he only felt satisfaction. His mind wondering on just how much longer the Entity could deal with this.

"Okay..." Gabriel paused his grin dropping as he took in a deep breath. He watched as the other being seemed to relax ever so slightly, causing the archangel to smirk. Releasing his breathe he continued. "But, why?"

A small pause between the two, Gabriel smirking at the Entity while the other gave him a look. If looks could kill, Gabriel would have vaporized into nothing... If he were still alive that is. Before Gabriel could repeat what he said to irk the cosmic being more, an inhuman should left the Entity. A screeching that could very much rival that of an Angel's real voice to mortals.

"Fine! You win, I'll send you back!" Entity growled angrily, reaching a hand out towards Gabriel who dodged the touch.

"That would be all good and dandy but..." Gabriel shrugged, meeting the other's furious eyes. "I'll need you to send back about fifty or so angels as well."

"No." Entity snapped back. "It's you or nothing."

"Then I guess we should get to know each other." Gabriel leaned back, smirking at the other. "My name's Gabriel, I like long walks on the beach, intense po-"

"I'll send you back anyways." Entity cut him off, a challenging look entered Gabriel's eyes.

"And I'll just keep sending myself back here." Gabriel bit back, a look of realization passed through the other's eyes. "Whose to say I won't be awake every time."

"You'll sleep." Entity promised, eyes glaring daggers into the relaxed trickster. Gabriel simply smiled, pulling yet another kazoo from his pocket and began playing. Entity growled angrily while Gabriel chose to playing Whatcha say by Jason Durelo instead.

Entity made it a whole twenty three minutes before Gabriel found his Kazoo flying from his lips once more. Gabriel held his smirking knowing that the Entity's patience was slowly but surely dwindling away. "I didn't finish!" Gabriel whined.

"I. Don't. Care." Entity snapped, teeth grinding, accent heavy. His reaction only fueled the archangel to go on.

"Oh, well then." Gabriel paused before meeting the other's eyes. "We should get to know each other!"

"How about you go to sleep?" Entity tried, knowing already that his suggestion never worked.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I made a college douche dance with an alien?" Gabriel asked, grinning at the groan he got in response. "Well, I was trying decided what the hell to do with him right? And it was right in my face! I set up the whole probing, and then had the dude forced to slow dance with the alien in a dress under the disco! Oh, let me tell you about the Spider incident." Gabriel laughed, jumping into the story while Entity groaned.

"You have to get tired eventually." Entity forced out, his words not hindering Gabriel's animated story-telling. The Cosmic being pressed the palm of his hands into his eyes with a groan. "I'll be fine, We'll be fine. He'll sleep." He mumbled, wincing his Gabriel's voice shot up in volume at the climax of the story.

"Oh man, that was fun... What to talk about next, hm... Budapest? Alligator in the sewers? Werewolf? Dancing Zebra?" Gabriel listed, mind rolling through the different ideas running through his mind before his eyes landed on the hunched over form of the Entity. A brilliant idea jumped into mind. "Oooh, here's a reenactment of every single porn fantasy I have had about the youngest Winchester. I'm very kinky so just hold on."

Entity groaned, pressing his palms harder into his eyes as the fantasy started rolling off of the Trickster's tongue. The insistent buzzing paired with the very loud and lewd wanton moans the archangel was adding to his growing migraine and aching body. "Is sleep too much to ask?"

"Now that that's over, go. To. Sleep." Entity grounded out once Gabriel's very detailed stories were over. The Cosmic being wasn't use to having to be awake for so long that it was being to take quite the toll on him. When no response came but a grin from the angel, Entity spatted out. "Just sleep!"

"Just Sleep!" Gabriel mimicked, over exaggerating an accent. Entity grounded his teeth, pressing a knuckle against his temple and took a deep breath.

"Will you just go to sleep."

"Will you just go to sleep." Gabriel countered in the obnoxious accent. Not that Entity would admit it, but he'd take the graphic pornography over this mockery.

"Are you going to keep this up?"

"Are you going to keep this up?" Entity's blood boiled, his patience thinning the longer he went without sleep. On the other hand, Gabriel was grinning, unaffected by anything that had transpired and very much enjoying himself.

"OH MY- YOU ARE RIDICULOUS!" Entity all but shouted at the angel, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

"OH MY- YOU ARE RIDICULOUS!" Gabriel all but shouted back, mimicking the movements of the Entity pulling yet another growl from the other being.

"You're just like a child!" Entity grumbled, dropping his head into his hands with a huff.

"You're just like a child!" Gabriel copied, exaggerating his own huff, grinding on the Entity's nerves.

"So that was the first time I was with a man." Gabriel concluded, pressing a fingering to his chin. "It also the first time I had to tell a lover."

"I don't care." Entity grumbled into his hands as Gabriel continued as if he hadn't head the cosmic being speak.

"Y'know I never really considered myself to be a fighter. More of a lover." Gabriel shrugged, glancing over at the hunched over form. "Did you know, I once fucked a-"

"OKAY YOU WIN!" Entity cut him off, straightening himself up. "You can have all the fucking angels you want, just not another sex story!" Gabriel grinned meeting his eyes, before nodding.

"Fifty angels, oh and make sure you through Balthazar into the mix... Oh and Rachel, and Jophiel. Man he knew how to party." Gabriel nodded with a grin, Entity sighed, pinching the bridge of his noise.

"Okay, deal. " Entity nodded, waving a hand through the air. Gabriel felt it, it was a strong surge of energy before it settled. "Their all back in heaven or Earth. You're turn-"

"Wait." Gabriel paused, pushing Entity's hand away from his face. "I'm gonna need Fergus as well."

"The deal was angels." Entity grounded out, annoyance and anger clear throughout him.

"Yea, but I owe it to a hot redhead." Gabriel shrugged. "Not like you'll miss em."

"Fine." Entity grounded out, before quickly pressing his palm against Gabriel's forehead. A strong sense of falling filled the archangel's senses before all went black.

The moment Gabriel opened his eyes, he felt it. He felt Heaven becoming stronger, stabler. He grinned in triumph as he pulled himself off the ground, eyes roaming the field he appeared in before landing on the other vessels slowly getting up. He knew these ten, maybe fifteen, angels weren't all of them, but they were enough to get the word out. Pulling himself up on a tree stump, he turned to the confused angels.

"Alright Listen up!" Gabriel called over, gaining the attention of the small mass. "I just spent dad knows how long annoying a Cosmic Entity older than God himself for you all to come back. Heaven was falling, shit hit the fan. All that I need you all to do is only take orders from Castiel or I."

"Gabriel?" A voice called out from the crowd, one the archangel wasn't sure which angel it belonged to. "Why would we listen to you? You ran, and left Heaven."

"Because he is still Gabriel, an archangel. One of our father's first sons." Gabriel smiled at the voice, his eyes landing on none other then his old pal, Jophiel. "Gabriel has never steered us wrong, never lied to us, so who are we to disbelieve him."

"Jophiel." Gabriel greeted with a grin before turning to everyone. "As much as I could careless what happened to all the hairless apes, I'd like it if our home didn't crumble."

"This is absurd!"

"He saved all our lives!" Another angel called out. "We owe him the benefit of the doubt." A small grumble filtered through the crowd, Gabriel worried for a moment that this plan was a bust. That was before all the angels kneel before him, the thumbs up from Jophiel was enough to get the archangel back into motion.

"Now I have some unfinished business, in the meantime I need you to find the other angels I've brought back with me." Gabriel ordered, an odd feeling at being in control filtered through him. He was definitely leaving this to Castiel once things settled. "Those not look, should go to Heaven. Make sure all is going smoothly."

"I don't know Cas." Sam sighed out as the duo entered the bunker, eyes scanning for any of the new occupants but finding none in the immediate area. "Micheal is free to do whatever he wants. Jack is bed-ridden and injured. We won't have long before Micheal makes a move to cleanse the earth." One look at Castiel confirmed he thought the same as Sam.

"Oh but we do, Samsquatch." Gabriel grinned at the shocked and confused looks he received from the duo.

"Gabriel?! How, I saw you die..." Sam trailed eyes trained on the archangel.

"I took a pointer from Cassie here, I annoyed a Cosmic Entity until he did what I wanted." Gabriel shrugged, leaning his chin on the palm of his hand. "I got us a few angels to help keep Heaven running, and might have thrown in a gift for the witch."

"Crowley." Castiel spoke, glancing over at Sam who still seemed to be taking it in.

"I also told all of em to take orders from you." Gabriel pointed a finger to the angel. "So, what'd I miss?"

"A lot." Sam sighed, falling into a seat near Gabriel, glancing over in time to see Castiel fly off, most likely to heaven. "Lucifer's dead, Micheal took over Dean. Jack's healing from the whole thing."

"Don't tell me Dean was stupid enough to make a deal with Micheal?" Gabriel sighed, meeting Sam's slightly confused look. "Micheal and Luci are pretty much one in the same. Both are double-crossing, back stabbing great big bag of dicks. Not surprised Micheal didn't let Deano go."

"What do we do?" Sam asked, Gabriel took in the lost and defeated look the Winchester had.

"If there's one thing I know, it's how to handle unwanted guests." Gabriel mused, looking over to the taller Winchester. The archangel stood, before addressing Sam. "I recommended you call the hot redhead, and find where ever Crowley fell to. I've got a few things I need to gather for this." Just like that Sam was left alone, eyes trained on the blank spot the archangel once stood.

Even with all the times plans backfired, Sam couldn't help the bubble of hope rise in him. He's team was completed, they had a whole army of angels in Heaven helping fuel it, and they have Gabriel. With a soft sigh, Sam made his way further into the bunker. Making his way to the others. The chatter quited down at the sight of Sam, all eyes focused on him.

"We have an idea." Sam spoke, seeing hope flicker throughout all the members. "Gabriel is back, he's brought angels... He's brought Crowley." Sam's eyes landed on Rowena, he felt himself smile at the look of relief and happiness that filled the witch's eyes. "We will win, Micheal won't take this world too."

#Supernatural #SPN #SPNprompt #spn prompt #spn gabriel #spn the empty #oneshot #season13 #spnseason13 #fanfiction #fanfic #spn fanfic #Gabriel is the best #The empty just wants to sleep #I wrote this a while back enjoy #enjoy #SPNoneshot #takes place right after season 13 finale

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