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the-red-thread-that-strangles · 2 months

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I was wondering what Akai is up to in the sweater weather AU, so here you go

Akai Shuichi is a thrillseeker at heart, but even he has his limits.

So when his mother, conveniently pocket-sized but still as sharp as ever, threatens him with a gun and lays into him, not for faking his death, but, of all things, for not mentioning his partner to her, he privately questions her priorities but decides to tell her the truth. He certainly likes to live dangerously, but he wouldn't be alive today if he didn't know how to pick his battles.

While she seems initially confused, the conversation about Akemi quickly veers off-track when his mother asks him to repeat her family name. Miyano, as in, her sister's daughter Miyano Akemi. Shuichi didn't even know he had an aunt. Not that it matters much, since he knows Akemi's parents died years ago. Eventually his mother leaves him alone, both of them too caught up in their heads to continue the conversation.

Shuichi's not really sure what to feel about all of that. So he doesn't.

He's not always been good at managing his emotions, but it's pretty close. When his father taught him how to hunt, and the misery of seeing proud game succumb to his shots had almost swallowed him alive, something cracked under the pressure. And whatever that was, despite Shuichi's best efforts, it has never quite healed alright. It left him with a slight gap between his thoughts and feelings, giving him that bit of extra distance necessary to keep going instead of breaking down. He'd come to understand, then, with a clarity born from numbness, death as an integral part of life. It comes for all living things, sometimes too early, and there really is no way to escape it. There's no use in fighting. Better get used to it.

The FBI counsellor called it repression, many years later, and while it was not even close to immediate grounds for disqualification from the program, she tried to give Shuichi reading materials on mindfulness and self-reflection. He hasn't touched them; the ability has been too helpful so far. He would've shattered several times over without it; when his father disappeared and his world threatened to break apart; when he decided to leave his family, including an unborn sister, behind for the ghost of a chance to find his father; and most often since he went undercover for the FBI. There's no fooling himself, compartmentalization and repression are probably the only reasons he can talk about the years and years of dirty work, including everything from blackmail to torture and murder, without losing his sanity. People call him cold-blooded and emotionally unavailable, and mean it as an insult. Shuichi can't bring himself to care. Life is complicated enough without emotions thrown into the mix. He needs to control some factors and keep them simple. Himself, he can control - mostly. So he does.

And he's good at it, but some days, it's too much.

Dealing with Akemi's untimely demise has always been difficult. He made a mistake when he got attached to his target. He can't even claim that he didn't know better, at the time, because he did, he just chose to ignore his better judgement. Couldn't help it, really. She was so easy to get along with, gentle yet tough as nails in a way that gave him, too, the strength needed to make a name for himself as a hitman. Those first couple of months before he learned not to sleep too much, when he came back from his missions feeling stained in blood that never even touched him, when he maintained his cover throughout the day and threatened to break apart by night, she was there to steady him. And she allowed him to be gentle with her, to hold her and love her and promise her the world. He needed desperately to not just be a monster, and she managed to see the man in him.

Now he's left to wonder if the easy familiarity he settled into with Akemi was a result of their relation. Such a pointless question.

With the help of a few glasses of Maker's Mark, a pack of cigarettes, and a probably unhealthy amount of emotional distancing, he manages to lay the matter to rest, for now. Until the organisation is dealt with, he can't afford to let his emotions get in the way, so he buries them as deep as he can, and applies logic to the problem.

Ultimately, he reasons, rhythmically assembling and disassembling his IWI Jericho to give his hands something to do, it doesn't really change things. What matters is that he loved her and she died for it. Whatever he learned after can't tarnish that memory. It's a simple fact that he needs to keep going to avenge her; aside from that, all he can do right now is remember her, and honour her last request. That's the active parameter he can affect: he will see to it that Miyano Shiho is protected, or die trying.

Shuichi considers telling the girl they're cousins, and eventually, he will - if she doesn't figure it out before that, keen as she is. But for now, she still doesn't trust him, has too much to worry about, and honestly, for a supposedly dead man he has enough tetchy family connections already. Maybe, when all of this is over, he can tell Masumi - she's a bit too careless to be told now, and he hopes his mother shares this assessment. But his little sister is great at breaking the ice, and he's sure she would love to hear she has more family. It might do Shiho well, too, knowing she isn't as alone as she might think. Their family is odd enough that she'll fit right in.

He's not sure he'd wish it upon her, though. Dealing with his darling mother always involves a headache of some kind. He is reminded once again why he didn't join the MI6, and why he tries to keep contact with her to a minimum. Still, somewhere deep down and buried, he's glad she seems to be well enough to feel like going out and threatening him. It's almost cute, even if she's deadly.

Despite his best efforts not to let it affect him, emotional exhaustion sticks to him through the next couple of days, uneventful as they are. Sleeping would probably help, but he keeps himself awake with coffee where he can, only napping a couple hours a day. Shuichi's life is one of constant vigilance, of surveillance and planning and striking at precisely the right time. And it suits him just fine, patience is in his nature. But while he's not on a mission, it sometimes leaves him just a little bit bored. The Kudo library is extensive, but there's only so many mystery novels he can read before his mind starts to wander. Trying not to think of Akemi's death is like trying not to think about pink elephants once he has been reminded of them. The comparison is uncharitable, and he knows she wouldn't appreciate his brooding, but it's not like he has much else to occupy himself with. Yes, there are the preparations for a joint operation against the organization coming up in a little over a month, and there's a class Okiya Subaru has to attend Tuesday evenings, but it's not like they require his full attention. He still tries to give it to them.

II.

Shuichi's not sure whether it's a blessing or a curse that he's meeting with Furuya Rei a couple of days after the ill-fated encounter with his mother.

Their relationship is tumultuous at best, and murderous at worst, complicated in the way all interactions containing Furuya tend to be, as the man is dictated by exactly the kind of emotions Shuichi tries to avoid. Granted, it is a rather one-sided disagreement; as with most things, Shuichi has no strong feelings about Furuya. He respects the other agent's abilities, particularly the fact he is still undercover, and teasing him is surprisingly fun. That's about it. Shuichi's keenly aware of Furuya's flaws, but as long as they don't bother their operations, he's not going to do anything about them.

In fact, in the last weeks - months really, at this point - he's been enjoying going along with Furuya's whims, meeting him to exchange the sweaters he seems to be so obsessed with. When he's not trying to hound him, Furuya can be somewhat decent company, chattering away about the mundane things that irritate him. Until he realizes he's been too pleasant, at which point he gets a little volatile to make sure Shuichi understands they're not actually friends. It's nothing Shuichi can't handle, and to be completely honest, he appreciates a little less boredom in his life.

Today, though, doom and gloom and failure still on his mind, he's not really up for playing games with the PSB agent. They know each other better than anyone else alive, aside from maybe Morofushi. Furuya will understand.

So he prepares a bag, shoves the sweater Furuya requested in, double-checking it's the right one because he really doesn't need another lecture right now, and waits for the agent to break into the Kudo mansion so he can hand it over and be done with it. Considering he's an ally now, Shuichi would offer him a key, but he's got the distinct impression Furuya would somehow misconstruct it as an insult to his abilities.

Exactly five minutes ahead of schedule, there's the click of the first-story balcony door, and Shuichi pads down from the sniper nest in the attic to meet his guest. Wordlessly, he holds out the bag to Furuya in the hallway. "Not even a good evening? Lacking in manners as usual, Akai Shuichi." Shuichi shrugs, can't be bothered. Shakes the bag. "Here's what you came for." Furuya's eyes narrow, scan across his form, then his brows furrow. An expression Shuichi hasn't seen on him before crosses his face, and before he has time to interpret it, it's gone, replaced by a smirk. "Hey, Akai." He stretches, dangling his own bag overhead. "That takedown you performed on the serial killer two weeks ago. Teach it to me." Shuichi stares back, unimpressed. "Maybe next time, I'm not-" Two quick steps, and Furuya's in his space, eyes blazing blue, looking up at him so impossibly bright. "That wasn't a question, Akai." He grins, eyes shining. "Or you're not getting your sweater back."

Shuichi almost lets out a laugh. That's gotta be up there somewhere in the top five stupidest threats he's ever been issued. Which is really saying something, considering he spent his teenage years in a high school in the US, and then some more years with FBI trainees in Quantico. What is it with Furuya and his sweater fixation? Akai doesn't care, he can have them all if it gets him out of his hair.

Unfortunately, Shuichi's best death glare doesn't seem to have the desired effect. Determination is either Furuya's best or worst quality, depending on how much trouble his current agenda involves, and for the sake of Shuichi's time, it's probably quicker to go along with him than to try and forcibly relocate him, even if he's certain he could. With a quiet sigh he makes for the basement gym.

Where his temper shines through in conversations, Furuya's presence in a fight is that of a wildfire, contained in a person. When he fights, he burns, sucking the oxygen and attention out of his surroundings, doesn't allow for distractions or he'll singe and bite and sting whatever is in his path. He takes to Akai's instructions easily, and soon enough they're no longer practicing but engaged in a sparring match. Furuya doesn't leave him time to consider anything else, at all, and damnit, that fervour of his is contagious. The battlejoy kicks in, hard, and Shuichi finds himself mirroring the PSB agent's mad grin as they wrestle for dominance, toss each other into the mat, twist and turn and struggle on the fine line between play and serious fighting.

Once they're staying down on the mats, the battle is over quickly; one moment he has Rei in a full-body pin, sure of his surrender; only for the man to twist his legs, shift their positions, and straddle Shuichi, bending down to choke him. He's stunning like this, flushed and panting for breath, his scorching gaze focused intently on Shuichi and Shuichi alone, looking for an opportunity to make him yield. An effigy of life itself.

Shuichi can't help it; his heart soars, his blood sings, his body shivers. Rei is a pinpoint focus of light, and then everything goes dark.

Sweater weather AU masterpost

#akai might know his limits and pick his battles accordingly. this does not help whatsoever when rei picks the fights for them.#rei is contemplating heavily ever trying to help Akai again. here he is being nice and Akai faints on him.#rei: you're supposed to tap out BEFORE you loose conciousness ffs (not that he would surrender either)#akai thinking: don't get distracted or he'll eat you alive. also akai: gets distracted #recreational choking is not where I thought this would go but here we are #yes I know I'm an advocate for Akai being a better fighter than Rei #but he's going through things it's fine #also I do believe he has an eye and appreciation for brilliance #sweater weather AU #iris writes things #long post #damn it I always forget to tag a thing #akam #there we go #if I knew what I was doing I probably should've left it at Akai moping. but I couldn't let him stay that down :/

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spaceratprodigy · 8 months

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OCs (+ SHIPS) AS TARTOT PAIRS

Thank you for the tag @bialanwake and @darkfire1177 💖💫

[ Quiz Here ]

📚⭐ Faith and Max ⭐📚

Knight of Pentacles + The Magician

"if there's something you want, you will GET IT. nothing escapes your fingertips. after all, you're the power couple. your pairing sparks pure cosmic energy. you're fiercely driven to your goals - whether that be status, fortune, or power. you're also fiercely protective of one another. with the knight's earthy energy, you both prefer to purposefully make your way towards your ambitions, rather than playing cards too early or acting too loosely. meanwhile, the magician's half makes gives you a little fire. if they get too close, onlookers and threats to your relationship may get burned."

open tag to anyone who wants to jump in!

#what do we think fellas is that accurate #also sorry miss iris you have more boytoys than you know what to do with so you're getting benched this time around #faith and max

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coldflasher · 5 months

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the flash should have ended with barry quitting his job at ccpd to become a stay-at-home husband and that's on that

#the fun part is it genuinely could have ended like that. i have no idea. still haven't watched it #NOBODY TELL ME BTW #THAT IS NOT ME ASKING FOR SPOILERS. I'LL GET TO IT #but honestly it's the only thing that makes sense. i have genuine reasons for this #namely: how the fuck is iris. an incredible but ordinary non-speedster woman. meant to look after a baby speedster #ordinary babies are already making it their life's mission to die. eating shit they shouldn't. rolling over and suffocating.#idk i don't know about kids but i know babies are breakable and will roll off tables and god knows what else #now imagine you have a toddler and she can literally move at hundreds of miles per hour #how the fuck was iris meant to cope?#i still maintain that when they did the 'she put a power dampener in nora' plot it should have been like. not a control thing #but also yeah. literally a control thing because HOW THE FUCK ELSE WAS SHE MEANT TO LOOK AFTER HER BABY #if barry is gone and she's a single mother. assuming no other speedsters are around to help her. what the fuck else was she meant to do?#of course she had to suppress her powers because how can you stop your toddler running into traffic if she can run 1000 times faster than u #how do you keep her in her crib at night if she can phase through the bars?#in that sense. yeah it's fucked up. but you can understand it. you can empathize. what other options did she have?#so yeah stay-at-home dad barry is the only thing that makes sense for genuine safety reasons #he is quite literally the only one who can keep up with the kids #they dropped the ball on nora is all i'm saying. again. fic that lives in my head where original nora's death actually means something #and we get a new nora who is ACTUALLY a different person. as she would be considering her whole upbringing was different #and she has to somehow live up to the memory of a version of her that was erased from time #part of barry and iris can't accept that that specific version of their daughter is gone and it's not her #THE ANGST POTENTIALLLL #in my head she doesn't even go by nora because she's like. THAT'S NOT ME. SHE DIED. WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT WHO I AM AND LOVE ME FOR ME #she goes by dawn bc yeah im still kinda sad they didnt use that name #fictional characters give ur kid an original name instead of always naming them after dead ppl challenge #my fics #my meta

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annasvinyl · 11 months

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I wish she was mine. Me too. I love her. So why won't they let me adopt her? Because you went to prison for a year for nearly killing a man. And the adoption people have a very dim view of that. Look at what your family did to you. No one stopped them being parents. We love her. That's all that matters. Is it?

#rain dogs #rain dogs bbc #rain dogs hbo #daisy may cooper #jack farthing #*cue selby's self-destructive mode activation*#🥃🚬🫣#for all their Messy dynamic costello trusts him implicitly to take care of her daughter #she tells him a few times that whatever happens between them she'll never cut selby out of iris' life??? like??? god.#costello knows selby's a violent reckless man who can be so spiteful and cruel #yet she completely believes in his love for iris???#if there's another series it will be facinating to see selby attempt to be more responsible and respectable fkfkf calmer and nicer lol #but still selby #more like what we saw in ep8 post-mental health ward stay #just that whatever selby gets himself into costello still trusts he'll keep iris safe and sound...... yeah many many feelings #he can be so soft and warm with iris then when he wants to Act Up he says such horrible things to costello but never to iris #it's also a feat that they never act truly unhinged in front of iris #smh many thoughts head full 🥴

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twilightarcade · 9 months

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Braceletz

#wordstag #took this picture in the bathroom. Ignore that.#also ignore how they're tied way too tight. Iris' was really messed up and idk what happened on evies I just didn't fix it #that green off grey is a warm color. For the purposes of this exercise #evies is a bit big iris' is a bit small. Nothing to really do about it. Iris' is also borderline falling apart #quite frankly I think I need to talk to someone who like. Isn't related to me. Unfortunately literally everyone is busy #euuuuuuuuuugh I'm reading a book #I picked it up because I needed a book #it's ok #I'm like... middle or so.#waiting for this Eddie guy to get accused of murdering Jacob because that seems to be like. This whole buildup #I've literally been waiting since the beginning of the book. They established it like right off the bat.#obviously we know he probably didn't but. Eh #there's some unrequited gay love I was NOT expecting whatsoever #literally why I picked up this book. I was told they were 4 friends so I expected 4 friends.#apparently 2 of the 4 are having sex in the background (Eddie and Jacob)#and every other chapter is abt their relationship in the past #which is. Fine. I'm fine w relationships n stuff just I didn't expect it yk #OH JESFYDY FUKC I JUST REREAD THE BLURB APPARENTULY IT WAS RIGJT THERE LMAO #I JUST??? SKIPPED OVER IT???? ITS RIGHT THERE THEYRE CLEARLY GOIGG TO BE A FOCUS #ESPECIALLY WITH HOW THEY INTRODICED THEM FIRSCY CHAPTER ???? HELLO??????????????? DID YOU READ THAT??????#anyways I don't support that guy any more (me) pretend he never said anything.

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danothan · 9 months

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knight terrors is fucking killing it lately

#drops tmrw apparently! this is all going too fast for me agh #i hope the artists aren’t getting crunched bc these panels are incredible #creature barry creature barry creature barry #his whole fear abt losing his humanity to the speedforce… how his first thought is hal on the topic of humanity…#how he loses himself to it anyway for the ppl who ground him TO his humanity #the fact that his mom showed up… it’s all abt his family it’s always abt his family. iris and wally need him so ofc he loses himself #and the fact that it’s hal he thinks abt to ground him. this is the second time hal has helped barry in this nightmare #love is the opposite of a choice??? that’s also some insane coding #both gay and neurodivergent #i am not going to be ready for their crossover in the GL run #how are they going to talk after this??#and it’s just so barry to overrationalize everything seeing as that was his way of coping with grief and trauma growing up #he doesn’t know what else to do #and barry arguing on behalf of someone TO that someone is such a classic barry argument style. god this is so satisfying to see altogether #this series is sm better than i could’ve ever imagined #it’s like we’re being reward for all that analysis we do #like we’re not making this shit up after all! what a dream come true #the irony lol #knight terrors #the flash #barry allen #halbarry #dc #panels #danbles

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iristhedeadflower · 9 months

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i need what shes taking

#iris violetta s3: priscila’s revenge #powerful shit i just know #whatever shes smuggling from priscilas beauty case i need a hit #also unrelated. do we think priscila listens to fight song every morning as she puts her makeup on #update it’s been a while since i looked at this post and. what the fuck was i on #marotti #ludmila ferro #3x26 #violetta

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cheemken · 6 months

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The Unova kids play pranks on each other this is true 100%

I bet the best one they’ve ever done was Hilda and Hilbert sneaking into Iris and Draydens house in the middle of the night,

Feeding Iris and Draydens Pokémon to keep them quiet ofc,

And just the two of them cooking all their food before putting them back into their containers

I imagine Iris makes a thread on Chatotter (twitter) about all the food she finds, all of them being captioned with something similar to

Champion Irissss

@theherooffate

“Who the fuck toasted all my bread??” (7:34am) *photo of soggy ass toast in plastic wrapper*

“ALL THE INSTANT COFFEE IS ALREADY MADE” (7:45am) *photo of coffee grounds container filled with liquid coffee*

“NOT EVEN THE EGGS ARE SAFE!” (7:53am) *photo of hard boiled eggs in egg container*

“WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK PRECOOKED THE PASTA???” (8:01am) *photo of cooked spaghetti shoved back into cardboard box*

“WHY HAVE ALL THE VEGETABLES BEEN SEASONED AND STIR FRIED?? They taste good ngl” (8:17am) *photo of stir fried vegetables*

“EVEN THE FUCKING RICE HAS BEEN COOKED. CANT HAVE SHIT IN UNOVA” (8:24am)

“I’m going to fucking MiniorBucks for breakfast” (8:30am)

I just know her thread went viral in mere minutes, Hilda responded to her last post in the thread with

TheBetterTwinHilda

@theheroofideals

“Shouldn’t have trusted us with a key, also your Druddigon absolutely loved the treats we gave her” (9:37am) *photo of her and Hilbert holding a house key*

NOT EVEN THE EGGS ARE SAFE HCKDNCKSNS THEY TASTE GOOD NGL CJDMND GIRLIE'S GOING THROUGH IT LMFAOOOOO THE FUCKING RICE😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣

I just know for a goddamn fact the twins and their white ass won't clean the fucking rice that well, or at all. Like Iris takes a bite of the rice with the stir fry and she's there gripping her spoon tight, "motherfuckers didnt even cook it right. This region is a fucking nightmare man FUCK"

She sees Hilda's tweet

Champion Irissss

@theherooffate

I GAVE YOU DIPSHITS THE KEYS FOR EMERGENCIES

TheBetterTwinHilda

@theheroofideals

We ran out of snacks, so it was an emergency🥰

Iris checks her cupboards only to see all her chips and cookies gone, went back to chatter all

Champion Irissss

@theherooffate

CANT HAVE SHIT IN THIS REGION MAN FUCK IM MOVING TO KALOS *a pic of her empty cupboard with a note from the twins saying "haha eat shit <3"*

#So ofc the night after she got Cheren's help surprisingly to prank the twins #bc Cheren knows all too well what it feels like being the twins' main target back then lmfaooo homeboy is so tired #its time for some payback too lmfaoooo #but also cheren's pranks are so elaborate iris just cannot™#cheren: so this is how we're gonna prank them *proceeds to infodump*#iris: cant we just do smth easy like replacing their pokeballs with fake ones?#cheren: no <3 #theyd still do that tho to indulge iris hahahah #love the fucking whiplash from torture to this tho HAHAHAHA #on brand🤣🤣#unova kids #pokemon hcs #an ask and an answer #jerseyk112

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teabookgremlin · 9 months

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do we think that anyone will be able to cover my friday shift next week or will i have to pull another join the rewatch while working place your bets now

#so far i’ve sent two messages to the work group chat asking for cover and no one’s responded to either so that’s really great #like can someone at least say no i can’t take that so that i know they saw it #ugh i might end up just calling out sick next friday bc i’ll also be a mess bc iris goes to her new raiser on thursday #so like #i will feel incredibly shitty and would rather just chill all day #like lay in bed watch tv join rewatch go to my moms for dinner #that is what friday needs to be for me #but we are understaffed at work so #i don’t know that i’ll get that #just UGH #ok done bitching for now will likely bitch again if no one has picked up my shift in a few days xoxo

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i-am-become-a-name · 2 years

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Initially I was quite eh to my introduction to Iris Wildthyme and Panda, but then she fcking referenced the EDAs in a big finish audio and I was absolutely shook.

#i listened to it after the quantum possibility engine (loved it. tried not to cry over alex/henry and the comment on winning a war without #a single shot) but yeah muse of fire wasn't quite my cup of tea. I've also only ever run into Iris in Blue Angel and we all know what That #is Like.#iris wildthyme #audios

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 1 year

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AAH promo time :)))

O P E NEXT EPISODE'S THE TARLOS KISS

AHHHHHHH :DDDD

AWWWWW 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ THEMMMMMM 🥰🥰🥰

y'all they love each other so much :'DDDDD

Iris

That better not be a problem xd

Why does it sound like a problem lol

Girl I trust you

Be careful with that trust XD

OPE thereee it is with those guys

Dang o.o all this in one episode???

I'm seeing like explosives and- well probably just more explosives honestly xD, and-

HOLY

DANG O.O

THAT BUS ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

Okay Owen good thing you got away from those guys like. Literally immediately ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

I mean I knew they were bad but now we're full on seeing it even if just for a second xdd

Anyhoo

Ahhh dang he's asking all of them for help 👀👀

Presumably lol unless they're doing a fake out with the audio but I think he is lol

At the very least he's warning them

HMM interesting 🤔🤔🤔. . .

All of that I mean

OPE there's the papers 👀👀 not that we knew already but I just mean newspapers are on it, for something xD

Wow, crazy

OKAY xdd dang

Next week's gonna be wild lol

So yeah! That isss the last of my last thoughts lol. I'm scared xD. Now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY'RE BAAAACK THEY'RE FINALLY BAAACK MY BABEYS :'DDDDDDD

All of them :DDDD <3333

I love them so much 😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰

Anyway, lol!

I loved this episode so much!! The rescues were cool, we got TARLOS :DD AAAH, lol, none of the storylines I was scared of dragged on too long (or, you know, the beginning of them anyway), and we got to see our wonderful 126 (and co) again :DDD. It was amazing :)). Now, onto some individual parts!

See not everyone has a plot each episode unlike tgd most of the time so this is easier but also harder lik

Marjan, Paul, Mateo, Nancy - I LOVE YOU GUYS 🥰🥰🥰🥰 SO MUCH :DDDDD!!! You are my babeys and my children and I love you <3. 'Nough said <3.

XD Just kidding lol. They were all hilarious as always - Nancy catching Tommy in her flirting, lol, that was amazing xD - and had some great scenes/bits of scenes together :)). The very beginning and the Sharknado bit are great examples just off the top of my head lol! And of course, they were great at their jobs :D 🥰🥰❤️.

Also, the three amigos being disgusted in the background after that fairground kiss and Nancy being disgusted in the foreground? Amazing, lol.

Now! Tommy :)). And this new guy! IIII already forgot his name lol. But AAAAHH!!! Meet cute much :DD?? Tommy was of course amazing and an icon this episode, and her and that new guy were so cute :D. Plus her panic and dread at the end was hilarious XD. I like him WAY better than Julius (why did I even bring that up so now I have to think about it augh 😭😭😭), so there's that right off the bat lol xD. He's already got that on his side - that he's NOT JULIUS XDD. Anyway, lol, it's gonna be hilarious, I think, and interesting to see where this goes 👀. Poor Tommy at the end there though, girl is s u f f e r i n g xDD.

Owen and Judd! Owen. Owennnn xD. MY GUY. How did nothing tip you off lol

See this is why you're the token straight xDD Judd was suspicious right away

Well I mean you're more token cishet white man but yk <3 XDD

Anyway lol, I think I will actually enjoy this storyline! Not that I necessarily thought I wouldn't, but I'm sure it will be angsty xD, plus I'm not always the biggest fan of Owen-centric things (though I'm not as much of a hater as some other people). Nonetheless, it looks like it'll an interesting and dramatic time, so I'm here for it :DD. Also Judd just laughing along for the ride lol xDD. Icon. But, though I say that, he was there for Owen the whole time as well :). That talk after the bar with the two of them was really sweet <33 🥰. They're besties, your honor :DD. Oh, and of course they also slayed at their jobs today :))).

And yeah, like I said lol: don't worry Owen - I'm sure you'll have plenty of dragons to slay soon xD.

Grace! Icon, amazing, love you girl 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️. Sometimes I just love seeing Grace's little "hold up" moments and confused faces at some of the 9-1-1 calls lol XDD. Anyway, she also was amazing at her job this episode, as always :DDD 🥰🥰🥰. Can't wait to see more of her :).

And now. The moment you've all been waiting for.

CARLOS

AND

:DDDDDDDD!!!

Okay y'all it's Tarlos time 🥰🥰🥰

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay I'm good lol

:)))))

(no I'm not xdd)

Anyway! I love love love love LOVED them this episode 🥰🥰🥰🥰. They had so many great scenes 😭😭😭. I am a liiiittle but disappointed we didn't get a kiss, but eh, whatever :D. We got so much besides that lol, and I'm fine with that xD. Even if some of it was angst xdd. I mean, it's still a better start than last season LOL XDD.

that was pain xdd

Anyway lol xD. Oh, and of course I'll also be talking about Iris here in this section, but I'm not really considering her as getting her own, since she's not like one of the mains yk lol, I'll just be talking about her here xD. So, continuing on, y'all they are so adorable 😭😭😭. And even though it killed me, I love me some angst, so I'm doing great lol. I mean, it wasn't THAT bad so I probably would've just been like, gravely injured (nah I'd be dead lol) if I didn't love angst, but still XD.

Anyway y'all I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY PLAYED US LIKE THAT!!! We all (well so many people anyway) said that that was too obvious, and that Iris wouldn't come back, and then that she probably wasn't the secret/it wasn't about her but she helped lead them to it or something (I considered that anyway and I know some other people did), and they PROVED. US. WRONG. XDDD. I did consider several times that maybe they would do that, it would be just obvious and crazy enough to be likely, but I didn't want it to be this so I didn't think about it much xDD.

And I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved the scenes in this episode, and I'm sure I'll continue to love this plot, I just wish it was something a little more fancy. And also that Carlos hadn't been married before lol. But, it was for kind of okayyy reasons, and good reasons to keep it - although Carlos, no offense, not to hurt you lol, but if had checked in sooner you would've known she didn't need the insurance anymore sooner xdd. But! Hey, it's in the past lol. Anyway, not my first choice for a secret, but I think it's really interesting and it'll be a fun (if not very literally) plotline :D.

And also just- AAAHHHHH THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰. Y'all I literally can't handle this 🥰🥰 :'DDD. It's t h e m 😍😍🥰. All the wedding planning stuff and what not - aGH, it's so cute :'DDD 😭😭🥰. I'm so excited and I love them so much :))).

I am still scared for this storyline though lol xD.

But nah, I know it'll all work out fine lol. And I know I said nah but it actually doesn't stop me from being scared XDD.

Oh and lastly WE GET THE KISS NEXT EPISODEEEEE AAAHHHHHH and also AHHHH THAT HOLDING SCENE 😭😭😭😭. Like where TK was holding Carlos's face (or like neck or smth idk I was busy freaking out xD) :'))). If I remember correctly it was also that "I love you" scene from the promo? I don't know, like I said I was busy freaking out lol, but I'm pretty sure it was :'DDDD 🥰🥰🥰. Amazing, I love them so much, I am not at all ready and also so ready for this season :DDD. Let's do this :'))).

Overall, I really loved this episode! I thought the rescues/calls were cool and interesting, I loved seeing everybody again, and the disaster was super cool and unique :DD. I'm so happy to have my babeys back 🥰🥰. All the group scenes were hilarious, the plots were interesting and set up more cool stuff for the future, and the tarlos content was top notch :'DD xD. I think Owen's will be the main drama, obviously, but I'm looking forward to seeing where Tommy's goes. And I'm super excited for TK and Carlos's :D. I think this episode was an amazing start to what's sure to be an awesome season!!

So yeah! Such a great episode, I'm so glad we're back. I'm interested to see where this all goes! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 1: The New Hotness

It was amazing! I'm really excited for the next episode, and the season as a whole. I'll be back next week for my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 2: New Hot Mess

See you then!

#9-1-1 lone star #911 lone star #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #911 lone star season 4 #911 lone star s4 #911 lone star season 4 premiere #911 lone star s4 premiere #911 lone star 4x01 #911 lone star s4e1 #I bet that next title's about tk lol #I just looking it up to put it there and I remembered seeing it (I kinda avoid the titles and summaries though - summaries more) and then #I connected it to the quote from carlos we've seen that we know based on outfts is going to be next episod XD #but hey I wonder about what 👀👀#maybe he'll be sad about iris or carlos having been married befoe #not necessarily jealous but yk #eh idk anyway lol #I'm excited for it :))#also I remember thinking when I saw the titles that I liked how they matched and I still do xD #I think it's fun lol :))#oh also NANTEO 'BABE' AHHHH #SOUND THE ALARMS IT'S HAPPENED :DDDD #amazing :)))) 🥰🥰 I love them #I'm talking about nancy calling mateo babe btw lol #see we even got nanteo content 🥰🥰#perfect episode /lh lol #tarlos #aaaanyhoo AAAAHHHHHHHHHH #I loved this so much and I am so happy to have them back :)))) 🥰🥰#and I am so so excited for the rest of the season :DDDD!!#byeee you guys ❤️❤️😚 I love y'all :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!

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truethes · 1 year

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like most things in your childhood, your first birthday is a grand affair.

your mother had insisted as such, the moment she had intertwined the red and gold of the christmas tree with balloons and sparklers. the seconds it had taken your father to push any festively decorated packages behind one giant, out of place box. a blossoming barbara twig is pressed wholeheartedly against your tiny arm and the window for christkind is only opened once they have managed to wrap an extra layer of warmth around the cold that will no doubt keep you up screaming.

they pay no attention to the twinkling lights outside. only sigh fondly at the way krantz finds himself rolling his eyes the moment they choose to play their very own orchestra for your happy birthday.

they only wish to make this special for mien engel, as your mother whispers against the wisps of your first locks: a special kind of thank you to the one who chose to stay back on earth.

───

a few years later, they have you hosting your first party.

you find it makes you uncomfortable, because everything about it feels faked by the children that attend it. you try your best to understand them, to ask them the sort of things that they find fun, but their gaze refuses to meet your own, too busy staring back at the retreating figures of their parents in turn. even if this affair is supposed to be about celebrating you, all of them are only here to obtain the possibility of gaining a companionship with two entirely different beings all together, as if they are no doubt lead by the stars in their eyes over their hearts.

one even goes so far as to skip the hello and ask the question on everyone’s minds: which does the young child prefer, the piano or the violin?

even krantz is not quick enough to stop you from storming out.

your father is the one who finds you first, asking you to explain just what has happened to have you in such a state because: “a héros is not strong enough if he cannot rely on those he trusts ... now, what can i do to help?” it’s the type of talk you’ve heard well, one that never fails to open you up against doubts such as these.

( just as you always would, in the end. the floodgates of your mouth already opening up at the reminder of being strong with/for something else. it does not matter if you cannot save anyone today, as long as your father gets to save someone else )

“i don’t wish to have company if they didn’t want to be here.” you conclude. it’s the first negative thing you say all day. your father raises a brow, gives you a nod and seemingly goes up to disappear.

the house is empty half an hour later, the same three candidates sat on a table for 50 with merely a birthday cake and an elaborately wrapped box sat so calmly behind it. krantz places the party hat on your head as your mother coos her apologies in turns.

( you are five .... turning to six ... already ready to be seven before the clock strikes twelve once again )

───

“---- so what exactly are you planning for your thirteenth?”

the opening sequence to symphony number 40 falls flat before you’ve even begun. your fingers resting so haphazardly against the keyboard that you’re unsure if they should stay there, or if they should go like you wish to despite being prompted with the most simple of questions.

your friend only smiles and nods before raising a brow to prompt your answer once more.

“i don’t know.” you slip your fingers away from the ivory you’re so used to slipping away with, all the more focused on finding an actual answer. “my parents have a concert to attend to, so they won’t be able to make it.”

it’s the first time you’ve announced such a reality, but it fails to make you feel less hurt by it regardless. the orchestra your parents run have concerts that span months in advance, and the one they’ll attend to on december twenty-third is non-negotiable, and despite their insistence that they can definitely fly back to you on time, you know better than to deal with the jet lag between singapore and austria ( you’ve tried it once yourself, perhaps a little too foolishly: there is nothing worse than the tired that comes from an unwelcoming flight, no matter how many hours of sleep you may try to hide despite it )

but a talk like that had ended with a bad taste in your mothers mouth, her words far too forlorn in turn, as though it’s your fault they had to end up almost fifteen hours away from you.

it makes your expression shift far darker than you’d like to admit.

“maybe you could go and visit them?” he suggests pleasantly.

your ring finger slips itself across the keys, a frustrated crescendo. “... you don’t think i’ve tried?”

“maybe they know you like your home more.” he comments, “they want you to put your happiness first.”

that manages to leave your throat dry. you slam the lid of the piano down so quickly ( he only seems to chuckle in response ) and grumble between hissing teeth, “it’s never been about the place, it’s about being beside those i love.”

those you love like the man who sits beside you, accompanied by white walls and a simple piano you no doubt believe is disastrously out of tune. it does not matter the walls you rest around, the concert hall you perform in, a dream is a dream and every one you’ve held is tied to a worldwide ideology that leaves you a free spirit above all. those you love like your parents, whom you want to see smile instead of sigh down on the phone to you.

the silence sticks a little while longer and for a moment you worry you’ve managed to hurt him, too. but he perks right back up before you can even question it. he rests a hand on your shoulder and in reprise: “you’re allowed to be selfish, licht.”

you turn away silently. “an angel would never dare.”

the expression you miss doesn’t shatter, doesn’t allow you to see the guilt that manages to seep in, and you’re both mad that you explained and were not understood and irritated that you no doubt never would.

───

he dies only 10 months later, and his words echo in your head.

it’s a shame, perhaps, that selfishness is never what you’ve wanted that day to be about.

maybe that’s why you bury the rest of your teenage birthdays into concert celebrations / maybe that’s why every celebration comes for everyone else but you.

───

krantz voices his complaints about ... such circumstances on the eve you turn sixteen, sealing a deal with vienna’s own bösendorfer hall.

“have you considered watching someone else instead?”

you shuffle the papers in your hands a little more sternly ( stille nacht is what rests haphazardly on top; nothing more festive than a song that originated from this town in the first place ). your gaze flickering back over to him, and the nervous assistant who hides behind his suit like a child. “their tickets would be sold out by now.”

“not to their stars, they don’t. many young artists would be honoured to have you at their christmas celebrations, especially given your reputation ...”

and with that does he open the consequences that immaculate your existence, the only diffuser and infuser of your dreams.

“there’s no way i would simply take someone else’s seat for my reputation, because ... ”

the assistant behind krantz has the audacity to role their eyes, there’s a twitch in your eye in responce.

“i am an angel.“

and the twenty fourth of december has always been about angels giving to everyone else, just simply for one night alone.

you slam the papers back down, fold your arms in a way that makes your decision final. as if there will be nothing to change your mind.

krantz doesn’t miss such a gesture. you’d be shocked if he did. ever since your parents had placed your tiny body within his arms, krantz had dedicated his whole life to (protecting) understanding you. every unique mannerism, changing temperament, deliberately deciphered like a deliberate ploy to get you to understand him.

he quietly gestures for his support to go, taking a step even closer. “and even angels celebrate, try their best to take a break-”

you turn away, your expression souring. you know krantz is looking out for you like he always does, but you still ...

“the world needs salvation, krantz. who will be there to give it if i let myself go?” you say, and you’re aware that it’s the wrong thing to say and that you sound like a querulous child but you refuse to explain it in any other way.

“others.” krantz argues back, and your fist clenches against the sleeve of your jumper in tow. “and even if we don’t watch any of them, there are always markets we could go visit, decorations we can find for your parents, do some last minute shopping together.”

“backing out of a promise would make me no better than a demon,” you argue.

“and so would forcing your manager to sign something he doesn’t agree with. i will spend the day treating you, instead.”

you turn towards him open mouthed.

there are many times where krantz has reminded you he is the adult. pulling you out of scraps like a cat with his hand around your collar for one, always choosing to put your health and well-being over any declaration of grandeur second of all. and now, thirdly, towards events like your birthday.

you feel embarrassed at the reminder that he can simply do that. ( that he would choose to do that for you, despite it all. )

krantz takes the final few steps closer towards you, reaching to grasp tentatively at the forms you have already signed to chuck them away and you force yourself to bite back any spewed insults because despite the fact that everything was already planned like before and you have never been one so susceptible to change you can recognise that a decade is long but not quite long enough and you admit,

“thanks, then.”

krantz lack of expression breaks into a sunshine of a smile, hands stretched outwide for a hug. there’s a thankfulness behind his eyes that you’re not quite sure you’ve seen in a while, a swab of paper tucked in his pocket in a not so oblivious way.

“but i want a cake.” you demand. “and for it to be us two, just for this year.”

( because there’s something nicer about that reality, something closer to home than any fine tune could make. and if you can make him smile, that is another step closer towards your goal: krantz happiness means your family is happy, a wish you’ve wanted to bring for far too long, again and again and again---- )

“phillipe is not someone i want around for much longer, much alone christmas.” krantz teases as he wraps his arms around you, patting your head like a dog behaving much better. “this birthday will be all about you, you understand?”

and, well, there’s no point arguing against something as strong as that now. is there?

───

krantz introduces you to an actress in the month you are set to turn eighteen.

he labels her as the leading actress of the only movie this year you’ve shown any interest in. someone so deep into her role that she wishes to understand how to play piano from an expert in the making. with the way she smiles so hopefully behind him, it’s hard not to believe it. but when his (drunken) figure walks away, she relaxes so grandiosely you lean away in the realisation that it’s all simply fake.

“i don’t actually need lessons to play my next role.” she says without hesitation. she sounds a little bored at the possibility of even thinking about it, you note.

you don’t have a good feeling about this. “then consider this conversation over.”

“wait, stay a second!” her hand grips at your sleeve, and despite you tugging your hand back do you remain rooted by the fear of knowing she could be in danger, that someone could be ogling or chasing her and if he has to he’ll play the role of someones apparent interest to keep them safe---

“i’m asking you for a massive favour, something special i wished to do for my boyfriend.” she continues, rather casually. “but i have to be careful, since my bodyguard will no doubt get jealous if he finds out about it.”

you click your tongue. what a dumbass reason.

“is he a demon?” you say, and you have no clue just who in this situation you are referring to when she only laughs in turn.

“that’s something you’ll have to find out yourself,” iris placates, mouth behind a hand as if to hide the smile that seems to have made it’s way upon her features. ( even if you can still hear it in her voice. )

this boyfriend of hers is a quote-en-quote “mozart obsessive”, already having been through salzberg more times than he can count, reciting his letters like declarations of love. it’s clear to see that she is at a loss for it, so much so that she’s spent all this energy in finding an authentic austrian pianist to make their next christmas even grander.

“you’re performing in boston on the 28th, aren’t you?” she questions, once all explanations are out of the way. “... it was supposed to be on the 24th or something, or so the orchestra were suggesting.”

now that has your brow raising. neither of you are close enough to disclose something as personal as a birthday, but there’s no surprise that the industry finds itself gossiping all the same. licht todoroki does not cancel concerts, not even when sick with nerves or downtrodden with the flu ( a disaster in the making, naturally ).

just what exactly makes this christmas so important to you.

when there’s no answer, she bashfully continues. “i’d like to take you out to meet him personally afterwards.” you recognise this, at least: her dreams / her accomplishment. their shared dream. “and then, if all goes well ... i hope that one day, the infamous mr todoroki will perform in our house, personally, for us.”

it lingers, then, something you’ve never truly known but will come accustomed to very, very soon. above the upturn of her lips, her eyes sparkle with a gold so liquidised you startle in the next sip you take: greed. iris is as full of greed as she was once with passion, impassioned as in full of love, full of love as in ... ravenous.

she’d eat an angel like you whole if she could.

“maybe. i’ll think about it.” you placate, and you think, think, think──

later, when you are what you imagine to be tipsy and full of good food in your stomach do you hand her your only set of tickets. a single set of four, based on a family rather than a couple on a nervous rendezvous.

“do whatever you want with the others,” you inform her. “i hope to see them filled.”

( maybe, just maybe, that should have been the sign that things were about to change.

for better / for worse. )

───

it’s the 28th december and you almost manage to tick off everything you said you’d do. the 24th marked your 18th birthday, in which you managed to spend the time between krantz’ bounds of adventure and the silent grasp of your parents coddling. there was a performance in america this afternoon, hailed as one of the greatest feats you have accomplished in your steadily growing career. there’s even an invitation, and acceptation, between two young celebrities that you find yourself one half of, even showing up first as if to prove a point.

you’re not a changed man, not really, but something about this feels expected. feels like it’s the right thing to do.

you end up in a conversation with her boyfriend for what seems to be like hours first, and it turns out he’s just as fascinated as she is warned. your hands are prodded, fingers imitated in turn, but you manage to keep your composure, to stop the inevitability of them falling straight into this mans face.

the waiter runs in the moment your fingers flex. rushes to a kneeling position between your table, his words are timid, pained even: iris is now dead.

lost in a freak accident, of all things.

it’s - it’s like watching a movie in some traumatic, damning way, the man who had only smiled mere moments ago shifts into a picture of grief you’re undoubtedly unsure of how to take away, and even though there is no way to comfort him ----- to hold his hand would ignite the discomfort beneath his skin, to offer reassurance no good from one so practically a stranger ----- there’s still that apology, that guilt that thins within the silence that is grows between you.

when he buries his tearful eyes into his cupped hands, you take it as your cue to leave, a responsibility so evident it claws up your ribcage with the intention of over-spilling across your chest. but there is no amount of divination you can bring here, not how you had been expected to help, so you swallow it and instead offer a pat on his shoulder before you have to pull yourself away. he asks you to take his number, and you almost bite back how such thing would be inappropriate for strangers to do, but then you see the devastation in his eyes and remember that’s not the sort of angel you can be anymore, and you take it without a hesitation.

you leave without saving it, but he still offers you one small smile when you turn away, and as you walk away, the warmth of such a gesture despite the misfortune of the situation warms your body against the chilling bite of the winters storm.

krantz stands outside without a car when you see him once more, and promptly advises all of next week is cancelled on the misplacement of grief, and with a deep breath do you find yourself thanking him, requesting some time off before you go back to the next plane, and ask for the opportunity to be able to walk everywhere else you might have to travel for the time being.

he doesn’t question it, perhaps knows it’s better not to.

even when you come hand in hand with a hedgehog merely days later, even when you demand that you have to make him a chain to signify such a bond.

( after all, nobody could expect the events of this birthday to make everything else so different. )

#❛ ♡ › licht : 𝗶𝗰.#long post /#drabble tag /#OH ILL WRITE A SHORT DRABBLE---- 3k words later i am CRYING #this took such an angsty turn but like i am very pleased about it #theres so many headcanons ive thrown in which i will probs overthink havent been explained like #hes only had one party which was a sham bc people only came for his parents and his dad basically disowned everyone there bc of it.#lich.t spent the majority of his teenage years performing concerts on his birthday so his parents never felt guilty they had to perform one #too #and tht he just liked giving to everyone else over him. krantz always took him out for nice food / events during the day its just fact #he hasn't contacted iris' ex boyfriend. not because of any guilt or anything but rather because i just don't think he'd know what to do or #really say??? he did spend the majority of the evening uncomfy bc of the bloke so i do not blame him #if i was to write one more it would have been based on the future where lawl.ess and lich.t would have gone to italy to spend the holidays #with nic.colo and il.dio but that one would have been 1k in itself bc i would have been very indulgent in the lawl.icht but also wanted to #include a lich.t and il.dio scene to parallel the lawl.ess nic.colo one we get in canon #i also want to say writing iris was really fun but also made me emotional bc like ... she was a star who just realised she could do little #to get a lot. and honestly? shes not as bad as a person #the lawl.ess mention between her and lich.t was very cute tho 10/10 would write again #thats ur future husband lich.t have some respect--- jk #where was lawl.ess in that scene? probably out there hanging out with other people. i like to imagine when she was with her manager and bc #it was so near the end #he probably was watching over her less and just talking to someone else #if they met it wasn't in a way they'd recognise each other. just passing really #death /#birthday /#ask to tag /#im not sure what other tags are there sorry its 4pm and im screaming FGHDSJHD #ANYWAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY LICHT I JUST (KISSES HIS FOREHEAD)

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