#also this looks like a really cute sticker maybe i'll print it

[shirozora-draws]

I am so late but I am finally done with the first round of merch that I am satisfied with. I am satisfied and we are rolling forward with this set. Now to send off all of my final sample orders so that I know these are absolutely working and are worth posting to a shop site as pre-orders.

Clan of Three lanyards. I recognize that I could easily turn these into washi tapes if I wanted to. We'll see.

Grogu Baby Crimes. Sticker & acrylic shaker charm. Completely revamped after carrying around the old version as an acrylic shaker charm and deciding it was too unwieldy and, more importantly, not cute enough. This will be a sticker option and an acrylic shaker charm option.

Keldabe kiss - Interstellar version. Matte & holographic sticker.

Keldabe kiss - Tatooine version. Matte & holographic sticker.

Live Cheen Reaction. Sticker. For all the fans of Cheen Yofree, the unluckiest third-wheeling Rodian OC.

Need A Hero. Sticker & acrylic charm. The only thing I'm putting forward with Din's face for now. I wanted something cute.

Clan of Two. Sticker. A straightforward general sticker.

The Battle Couple. Sticker (for now). This was actually designed to be an embroidered patch, but I'm not really there yet. The sticker shape is odd so I might present this as a kiss cut sticker.

Luke on Ossus - no scars. Sticker. For people who don't want scars?

Luke on Ossus - scars. Sticker. I just wanted to doodle a thirst trap, thassit.

The Storm. Sticker (for now). I wanted to make more merch for my fics and might use this template for the other fics in the Dangerous Dreams series.

The Clan of Three. Sticker. This motherfucker held me up for MONTHS. I didn't like the previous full-body version especially after getting several sample stickers so I started over... and then got stuck. For months. But here we are. The final piece of the puzzle.

Limited - Tron. Sticker & acrylic charm. I wanted to make a little Tron merch. The acrylic charm will be double-sided with Tron on one side and Rinzler on the other. Thank god this guy is more or less symmetrical.

Limited - Rinzler. Sticker & acrylic charm. For people who like Rinzler. This will be double-sided with Rinzler on one side and Tron on the other side.

I'm sending off a final round of sample sticker and charm orders so that I can get a feel for the revamped and new designs, and once I'm happy I'll get the pop-up shop up and running.

Round 2, I'm looking at small prints, possibly the embroidered patch, and maybe a Tron|Rinzler standee. Also a sticker for The Suns maybe, possibly also The Stars. What if I did a WarGreymon|BlackWarGreymon charm?????

And now.... we write.

#shirozora draws #shirozora's pop-up shop #dinluke #skydalorian #clan of three #clan of two #tron #tron legacy #rinzler #din djarin #luke skywalker #grogu #the mandalorian #star wars #it really took over 2 weeks to finally get myself together and power through the final sticker design #RL and burnout were running me fucking ragged but finally we're here #and finally I can get back to revising the next chapter of The Stars #have an early May deadline to meet lol fuck me

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i know i JUST did this with the pony au but.. been thimking of.. saiki k spidersonas.. head in hands..

let me give u my ideas😋

this is just a brainstorm dont judge if its cringe

chiyo- love bite

pink+orange suit

HEAVY on the mask eyeliner

suit has a cute lil skirt, both cuz its just cute and fun and cuz she was insecure about the way the skintight suit looked

"i stained my mask with lipstick.. why did i do that..." (continues doing it)

eventually she just makes a mask that doesnt cover her mouth and realizes she shouldve just done that in the first place cuz one of her powers is her sharp ass venomous teeth😭(venom only deadly if she bites for a REALLY long time)

also for some reason i think one of her powers would be like an ABSOLUTELY EAR SPLITTING SHRIEK.. not bad enough to make people go deaf, but it seriously disorientates them and makes their ears ring

shun- jet black widow

blue+black (+red accents? maybe yellow to go with his whole thunder thing)

bat wings on his suit.. can he fly?? prob not.. sure can glide though!!

aren- the demon killer ??? (just his gang alias, idk what else to name him)

purple+black (+red accents?) ((matching with shun?🤔)

i feel like his only power would be super strength (but like.. SUPER super strength.. bros crazy strong already so...) and he would have to manually create a suit that gives him more spider-like capabilities.. why did he need to become a spider-person instead of just being a regular superhero?? um cuz its cool and his friends were doing it obviously..

kokomi- heart slinger

blue+white

her suit also has a cute lil skirt, mostly cuz she didnt want annoying guys to be weird about the skintight suit

y'all know miss heed from villainous??? she prob has powers like that but yk.. less evil

i also imagine one of her powers being that shes somewhat indestructible.. like thats exaggerative ofc but it probably takes a LOT for her to bruise or bleed and she can take a lot of pain.. it just feels right to me, fitting for her perfect girl thing..

mikoto- tiger spider

BRIGHT pink+animal print

COVERED in what looks like stickers but is actually just cute little images embroidered on the suit

can obv still see the future like in canon.. cant decide if she has other powers naturally too

i kind of imagine her just updating kusuo on the sidelines or something but that might make her seem like too much of a sidekick and i dont like that so maybe she stays with him and does her predictions right there

maybe shes like aren and just has the one power but has special suit technology.. kusuo prob helps her, which i'll talk about in a second

ALTERNATIVELY she could be like peni parker and have a robo suit (covered in stickers and very decorated..) where she can safely do her predictions while controlling the suit.. she could use both interchangeably or either one idk

BIG social media following.. posts EVERYTHING.. pisses kusuo tf off

kusuo- cyborg spider man / psi bug

the media calls him the first name because its a running bit and hes PISSED about it

was thinking he'd just be plain spiderman but there has to be at least some sort of theme to go with his limiters sticking tf out the mask

despite already being the most powerful, his suit is the most technologically advanced.. hes just seriously really extra, bro prob made big spider legs sticking out the suit even though he can fly and defy gravity already.. he doesnt need them.. but it sure does look cool..

helps the others make advancements in their suits too

he'd prob have different limiters in this au too, like ones that limit in different amounts so he can fight efficiently

fyi he did NOT want to be a spider person cuz ew spiders but after a power reveal to his friends and them all having some weird accident or something and getting these superpowers snd THIS was the gimmick they went with.. he didnt have much of a choice

anywayyyyyyy most of them prob have secret identities and dont wanna be public (for various reasons) but miko would definitely just tell everyone who she is.. kusuo would constantly be having to protect her from stalkers and the like when shes just trying to live her life

kokomi prob tried to be secret at first just to prevent having MORE stalkers and general crazy people surrounding her every day life, but she would def be the first person to be exposed by the public because.. well, the media would be OBSESSED with her but also, shes just really obvious and doesnt realize shes not being subtle at all.. prob has all her long blue hair out of her suit and everything.. eventually she prob decided against having a mask at all (or just having one around her eyes) cuz being pretty and perfect adds to her whole thing

kusuo is pissed at both of them cuz he seriously cant handle hanging out with them in public now.. like if it was bad before, its terrible now

alsooo i was thinking about whether or not all his friends knew each others secret identities from the start or not and i started considering like if they didnt at first, yumehara would have a crush on kaido or the jet black widow and i was thinking theyd team up or something and she'd be like ugh i cant crush on this guy, i have kaido !!! and then i realized, this is just miraculous, i was making yumekai miraculous 😭😭

is kusuke a supervillain? ehhhh, probably nottt, he'd prob be similar to how he is in canon.. jealous and obsessive over his brother but doesnt really care about anything or anyone else enough to really be evil, he prob creates crazy supervillain esque tech that could rival the heroes easily but only uses it in private against kusuo cuz he wants to prove he can beat him.. kusuo comes back from his brothers place absolutely BATTERED and bloody and the others are like "?!?!? did u battle someone and not tell us???" and hes like nah i was just hanging out with my brother

just a thought!! i didnt do everyone but with some of the others, i wasnt sure whether i would want them to be spider people in this au or not, like maybe theyd have some other role ?? would not be opposed to it though if anyone else has ideas for it or if i think of something..

#please someone give more thought to this like their backstories and stuff my brain is too full of cheese #or other characters #i really wanna focus on yumehara here cuz she was the reason i started thinking about this but ik most people will care less about hers #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #kusuo saiki #saiki kusuo #chiyo yumehara #kokomi teruhashi #aren kuboyasu #shun kaido #mikoto aiura #yumekai #potentially #saiki k spiderman au #meows post

[maleyanderecafe]

You don't need to publish this! I just wanted to share ideas for merch that you could sell for this blog that I'd personally be interested in - first of all, I think... pins, stickers, keychains, prints and shirts would be the best sellers for this type of particular blog - if you were able to get an artist to draw out original yanderes for each main merch type? Or the most popular, well known male yanderes (IF that's legal)...! I just don't know the laws regarding selling original artwork of already existing characters, haha, sorry!

Cheers, mate, I wish you luck regardless! It sounds like a wonderful idea, in my opinion... if you're able to do so in any way, that is! Perhaps you could get started with just a few, at first, to test the waters! Even if my advice isn't the best or uhhh........ y'know, At All useful lolololol - I hope it goes well <:!!!!

Whoa, those are some good ideas. I've been trying to do research on what I should do (I'm watching so many youtube videos on it), but here are my thoughts on it.

I was thinking about something like Pins, stickers, and maybe charms (I always wanted to make charms) before I move on to other things like prints and shirts. This is just because I don't wanna make too many things and have them not sell because that would suck with me having like 50ish unsold items or something. Maybe I'll start out with like 25, I'm not sure yet.

As for the art, I actually was going to draw it myself (since I am also an artist, but uh I guess you have to gauge yourself how good I am at it, haha) but the idea of collaborating with others yandere artists is pretty good. I'm not sure how I'd go about designing an OC for each one (when it comes to OCs I uh, draw very basically in terms of character designs, since I like practical outfits more generally). I was just going to fall back on my mascot Beta for that one but unfortunately, I'm not the best at drawing like a... sexy style? (Like I can draw in a more anime style, but I've been defaulting to more of my cartoony/ cute style... I guess) .

Popular yanderes would be cool! I think generally for artists you can technically sell anything as long as it's in your art style, but obviously, there can also be copyright laws in place for some things. I think the general rule of thumb is that you don't steal or interfere with money from the source (like for instance you can draw things from TV or games because they get their revenue from merchandise and selling games but probably not like someone else's OC unless they're okay with it)

What I'm thinking now is to just make a couple of sticker designs and maybe pins with my OC on them and maybe not make too many copies of it. Just to test the waters. I don't really know what to do in terms of what the design should look like yet (okay, well I do have some ideas, I just don't know how good they are).

Anyways, that will probably be after my vacation, so I will do my best!

#asks #im just worried ill have too many in stock and boy would that be bad haha #based on searches for yanderes they all have like either a menhara or very pink aesthetic plus they're all for girls #i was thinking of like a black heavy aesthetic #but im not sure #i only know like two artists that sell male yandere based things on tumblr so... #maybe ill ask them plus my friend who sells this stuff for a living #I could also use redbubble not sure

[yumgrapejuice]

OK WAIT y'all i didn't tell you about some of the highlights of my artist alley time

first of all. yea there were Quite a Few dsmp enjoyers and so my stuff did rather well, so i'm very glad about that haha, it was so endearing when you could See some of their faces light up when they saw my table....<33

but there were a few different types of buyers. there was the Shy one. you could see they wanted to get stuff but sometimes it took them circling back a few times to actually buy anything. very cute tbh. there was this one girl who was with a friend, though, and the friend wasn't a dsmp fan but they knew about it because their friend really liked it, so the moment they got to my table she went "omg it's dsmp!! the thing u like!! what do you wanna get?? i'm paying" and the girl was so bashful and hesitant but with her friend's encouragement she ended up getting quite a lot 😭❤️ the friend herself got a print because "i don't watch but damn this looks good" i love them

then there was the Casual buyer. they came, saw what they liked, got it, moved on. my favorite example was this goth dude who, completely wordlessly, got out his wallet, pointed at a fox fundy sticker, we exchanged the goods, and moved on. pleasure doing business with you sir

there was also the Clueless buyer. they didn't look like they knew it was dsmp stuff but they just found some of my designs cute. bless them

and my favorite one, the Confident one. oh fellas...... listen, whenever a guy or a group of guys walked by, i always got a bit nervous because, yk, it's not uncommon for them to be Rude. however!! there were some who were absolutely lovely, which always got me super excited. my absolute favorite example - this one guy in an ace attorney cosplay, my age, very fuckin cute, strode up to my table, eyes sparkling, and said "give me everything you have with dream" and FELLAS when i say love at first sight..... we talked some too, he expressed how he'd been searching for a table like this and he'd been getting a bit down cause he couldn't find much and how cool my stuff was, and i swear when i say i was swirling my hair and kicking my feet... yes this is why i'm HERE, and also i love you forreal....... such an absolute sweetheart.....

ok but there was another person who wasn't a fan or bought anything but absolutely made my day. they came up, said "i've been seeing these really cool cosplays but i have no idea what this fandom is about, so could you maybe tell me about it?" and i just went "😳🤩🥰😍GIRL.... I GOT YOU"

so i proceeded to spend the next 15 mins trying my best to explain what the fuck the dsmp is and what it's about lollll, a sure way to get me all hyper. and the girl was listening soooo enthusiastically, too, like!!!! she was clueless yet so interested!! at some point there were more people gathered around but idk if they just wanted to listen or thought it was stupid but i didn't care, i was laser-focused on my recap lmao. there was this another girl who kinda interrupted me and went "why do you sound so excited?" which uhh lol? but before i could respond, the one i was talking to turned to her and said "because it's exciting! it sounds so crazy!" like....i love you....wtf.......

it ended w her saying she'll try to look into it so no more spoilers and i just shoved my card to her, like "follow me talk to me you'd need a guide" anyways fingers crossed she reaches out ahaha

there was actually another table that had dsmp stuff, i just didn't go to any other tables myself cause i was feeling quite ill, but the artist later came to me and got whatever i had with hermitcraft, which, admittedly, wasn't,, a lot, so i'll have to work on that haha, but she was sooo sweet and her bad cosplay was so good....very lovely gal

anyways irl dsmp fans ily keep it up

#if only i wasn't so nauseous the entire day i would have enjoyed it more but alas #i'm still thinking about that dream guy btw #he did get my card too so idk...maybe...perhaps...

[venusinsilk]

Things I wanna do in 2024 or just in any time frame it doesn't matter

Sell my stuff online and ship countrywide

Have my website up and running and looking very legit and not sketchy or crappy, with shopify and a blog and videos and recipes and cute art and a contact page. Good enough for customers to buy from and want to engage with

Film a fucking recipe video

Get the things I need for filming like tripods and lights

Learn video editing and get fast

Post more, consume less

Sell locally to vendors like coffee shops.

Get my cottage license so I don't get fined

Play another show and play bass well

Hire a good photographer to take portraits and food pics

Maybe get a nice camera to take my own food pics? I want to learn about lenses and exposure and framing and stuff

Read more recipes and try executing them. Blog about it

Read more in general

Write more in general

Talk more in general but also listen and don't interrupt so much

Paint more. I have 2 commissions as of Jan 2024 and I haven't started either of then yet!!! Neither of them are paid though lmao

Follow up with others and reach out, start conversations and ask people what they're up to. Especially the creatives I love

Draw more. I need cute meme inspired cat pics for Bakery Burnout and I want to print my own stickers at home.

Stop spending money. Redirect the shopping compulsion with creativity.

Go to Ireland

Go to Lightning in a Bottle

Not run out of money lol

Really good sex

Eat at more restaurants and expand my pallette

Reconnect with old colleagues from the industry without acting like a goofy drunk

Throw more good parties. Had an excellent one right at the top of the new year on the second weekend of January. Met new people in my home who gave us compliments and said "it's rare to find good house parties like this these days" and the genuine connection I felt was intense. Could have been the molly. However people legitimately had so much fun and hosting is something i discovered I love to do in my late 20s and I want to refine it. I want to practice the art of creating a beautiful environment for people to connect and have fun within, especially with regard to food, art and music.

Generate more income outside of my full time job. Invest more of my income and get better at making my accounts grow. So tired of being poor dude I'm over it. I'll play the evil capitalist game because I'm stuck inside it

Admire and honor my body. Give my body the time and effort it takes to keep me healthy and feeling good about myself. Take photos of myself. Paint myself and give myself permission to feel beautiful. Humility will only get me so far and I've been humble long enough I think.

Follow through with projects I start. Complete some things.

#self

[sadmages]

Simple little instrument swap! Altho Raph’s not very good at it but that’s okay cause Ivy still thinks she’s cute

#MechsFemslashWeek #the mechanisms #raphaella la cognizi #ivy alexandria #raphivy #thank u alientoastt!!! #my art #this is really simple but i really wanted to draw these 2 cause i think they're cute :(((((((((!!!!! #so this might be it til the end of the week???? maybe?? #stars could be :) a real tearjerker :) huh nastya? #also this looks like a really cute sticker maybe i'll print it #for myself fjghsfjg

[sar3nka]

I hope to not be annoying but I’m really interested in getting into the Japanese alternative fashion movements like they had in fruits (I have a friend who’s super into Lolita)but I’m not really sure where to start. Do you know anything of such things? Ty and sorry if this is out of nowhere

It's not annoying at all! Dw <3

First you'd have to specify which one of the movements appeals the most to you. There are more tame ones (mori kei for example), and ones that will make you look like fabulous eyesore.

For starters [I'll oversimplify here a bit probably], here's some I'm familiar with

• decora - fuckton of stickers, hair accessories, glitter, colors, funky textures & silhouettes. I'd compare it to scene in the west, although less edgy, and detached from music. Can be considered a playful, even childish in overall aesthetic.

• menhera (sickly cute) - hospital aesthetic (needles, pills, bandages etc), very dark undertones expressed in a very sweet, pastel way. There's also a character, Menhera-chan. The comics abt her are on tumblr!

• lolita - modesty over all, depending on type diffrent prints will be used, some types are more simple, some are complicated, full of frills and bows. General rule is that the dress/skirt silhouette should either be a cupcake or A letter (petticoats and hoop skirts are used to achieve this)

• gyaru - despite looking very male-gazey at first sight, it's a rebellion against beauty standards in Japan. Gals (aka women into gyaru fashion) are tan, have either platinum or dark blonde hair (sometimes with colorful extensions)(also brown hair are quite popular but not as much as blonde). The hairstyles are massive, as well as their nails. Clothes are very y2k - animal print, pink, white, black are the most popular colors. There's also a specific type of makeup they do.

• vkei - it's not easy to define, it refers to both music and fashion, and neither have strict rules (none at all tbh just be edgy, that's why I love it lol). The best way to get an idea of what it is is check out vkei bands and the MVs (to see the clothes the bandmen are wearing). Start with The GazettE, Dir En Grey, Malice Mizer. Oh and to see the more modern examples maybe also Mejibray and Kizu. Also check out clothing brand called sex pot revenge (funky name ik)

When it comes to how to start collecting and wearing the clothes. Um honey uh. It is difficult. I'd discourage buying from amazon or ali (unless it's just accessories), ESP WITH LOLITA DON'T EVER DO IT. I personally thrift, then DIY stuff. I've discovered that closet child (a website, can be easily found via google), aside from good deals on lolita pieces has sick vkei stuff as well. Etsy is also a good place to start, but I think it's better to thrift and DIY since it's cheaper, and if you find out it's not your style, you'll be wasting less money. Essentials often associated with jfashion are leg warmers (color n material depends on your style), cute bags (lolita bags or thirft/DIY ones are a good starter option I think), but it's not a rule really. Try to dive into the movements I listed, and find what's the prettiest, most fun for you, and just go with it. Don't be afraid to ask for help too, I've noticed people are more than happy to list cool brands and websites!

Oh and also, I've ordered a sort of a lucky pack from Glitzy Wonderland recently. Reviews said it's a great starting point to collecting lolita clothes, and when it arrives I'll definitely post what I got and whether it's as good as reviews say.

[pbandjesse]

I did my best to not feel guilty today. Like I said. It was hard. But I had a good day. I washed my hair tonight and my feet hurt but lm in a good mood. I feel happy.

Still no word about the clips from the news. Disappointing. But when the musuem is open on Tuesday I'll ask. I mostly just want to show my parents.

I slept okay. I woke up when James left for work because they kissed me on the cheek. But I slept until my alarm went off at 830. I would lay in bed with Sweetp for an hour. But I would get up and make the bed. I got washed and dressed and felt cute.

I did feel a little restless though. I didn't want to clean. I did pick things up but I just felt like I was wandering around the apartment. So I decided to change my timeline and do my target run in the morning.

There was the new neighbor moving in across the hall!! I didn't realize someone was and Mr Will introduced us. I don't remember his name. It's maybe Tristan or Crispen. But watch me be wildly off.

But he was nice! I talked to him outside for a while. He has big line cook energy but I'm not sure what he does. I hope he becomes a friend.

Mr Will teased me about my stickers on my car and that I never let it "warm up". But soon I was off.

I drove out to Glen Burnie and went to Target and was very successful. I was just there for a low plastic bin. I wanted to put it in the trunk of the car for all our emergency stuff. And it worked so well. Fits perfectly but still has room for our camp chair. And I was really excited.

I sorted our the car in the parking lot. Made the trunk much more organized. And then went to get lunch.

I got five guys. Ate in the shade of a tree. And then went to my next stop.

I went to the Petco and this one was interesting because it had all it's old decorations. But they had the filter I wanted, a larger one, for the crawfish tank. And so I got that and a moss ball. I hope it helps keep the tank clear.

I went next door to the sporting goods store to look at the camping gear and the life jackets. But I didn't want to buy those without James. I just wanted to get an idea of price. Which is varied between $30 and $90. I trust James to be able to decide on the sizes we need. With their lifeguard training.

My tummy started to hurt though. And I wanted to go home. It was a nice drive. And I was very glad to be back here.

I put in the new filter. Cleaned just a little. Opened the back door. Enjoyed the breeze.

I laid in my hammock for a while. It has been out away for a little while so it was nice to have it out again.

I got up at 2 and played around with outfits for camping in a few weeks. I haven't even brought down my summer storage. But I will know for sure closer to the date because of weather. This is mostly a positive outlook packing list.

I am super excited to use my new duffle. It's tall and has pockets, including one that is mesh and snaps in that I'm excited about. It s wildly big inside and it's going to be so good for travel. Honeymoon travel maybe??

James would promise to bring home sushi. And so I laid down while I waited. I played Pokemon for a little but I mostly just rested and got myself mentally prepared for work.

James got back and we are together and then it was time for me to go to the museum.

And it was a really good night. I got a tip! And had a great time with the print shop. Had a lot of people with excellent questions. And I had a lot of fun.

I did also find some pieces of moveable type that were. Questionable. And so for the first time I took an artifact off the floor. And put it in a ziplock bag. And we will ask what to do with them on Tuesday.

But I had a great night. Chatted with Angie about travel. And told a story about searching for eggs when I was in school.

But then I got to go home. Which was perfect. It was just about to storm.

I got back here and my tummy still hurt. But James would make me a sandwich and that helped. We laid in the hammock together. And eventually I went to take a shower.

I washed my hair and am feeling good. Just really sleep.

Tomorrow is Easter. And we are going to go work on organizing James's family's garage. And we're going to eat bagels. But I think it will just be a soft day. And I hope it is kind to you all.

Happy every holiday to anyone reading this. Love you all. Goodnight

[md3artjournal]

4:30 AM 2/11/2022

My Faebruary day 9 chibi Claude hasn't gotten a single Like, meanwhile, everyone has been posting 3Hopes version Claude since the 2/9/2022 Nintendo Direct trailer for 3Hopes, and getting a zillion Likes. They're all beautiful and I already know that I can't draw well, especially humans. But there are some fanart that is the most simple, clearly done quickly, and yet it's so expressive and emotive and inherently beautiful...all the things that I can't do in my drawings of humans/characters. If I came across my fanart, I wouldn't Like it either.

I guess I feel kind of down, being reminded of all that. ;_;

I mean, Even that chibi Claude I drew, at the time I drew it, *I* liked it. For me, compared to my previous drawings and relative to my current illustration skills, it was acceptable. Relative to my current skill, it was emotive, cute, and happy. But I can't see any of that now, after seeing everyone else's glorious Claude fanart. And the worst part is that everyone else threw together their gloriously emotive, detailed, objectively beautiful artwork in a day! We were all trying to draw as soon as we saw that 3Hopes trailer premier, after all. Everyone else is "scribbling" together all this beautiful art all at once, without barely putting time into it...

All my confidence that I had been building up for the past few months to finally shift from polymer clay sculptures to illustrations for artist alley and maybe even opening an online shop, is just falling between my fingers. I was finally going to outsource stickers, and maybe even get the guts to order acrylic charms of my work, and I was choosing which drawings of mine to actually turn into prints for the first time...And I just have no more confidence about it anymore. It's just gone. o_o

I can't complete with everyone else in artist alley. That's why I did polymer clay sculptures! And yeah, I was good at it, but also, the amount of time, effort, and physical pain I had to put into production, just to barely make an adequate amount of stock for each artist alley event, was just something I could barely keep up. Meanwhile, anytime illustrators need to stock up for artist alley, they just send their old files to a printer and get 20 copies of each art printed. While I'm over here like a chump, giving myself back and neck pain, working 8+ hours for a single piece that I'll have to underprice because no one is used to hand-made prices, and then the stock I spent all my time rushing to finish will turn out to not be what sells at that convention. x_x; I had to start sharpening up my drawing skills and turn to selling stickers, prints, and acrylic charms, like everyone else. But everyone else is good at drawing, and I'm NOT! I can't compete with them! What am I even doing, trying to draw? Thinking I could make stickers of _my_ drawings and people would want to buy them?

I mean, yeah, someone said my Jojo6 F.F. fanart was cute, the other day, why do people always like the stuff that I don't really care about? I liked Jojo ok, but what I really want to draw is Claude von Riegan. Why can't I draw the stuff I like well??? I spent all January sketching flowers, and even I can say that my flower sketches are objectively pretty. But I want to be drawing my favorite characters and fanart! Not flowers! ;o;! ;~;!!!

Ugh. If I recount my struggle to learn to draw humans better, I'll just be retreading old circles.

Tonight, I thought I'd sleep like a normal person, but it looks like I'm pulling an all-nighter, because I kept drawing and drawing, thinking that if I just kept going, maybe I could get better, and finally make a Claude drawing that even I could like. ....It did not end well. Everything feels so futile and hopeless. Which I should be used to by now, generally speaking.

I don't know. If I was just drawing for myself, I could be proud of myself for how far I've come. For years I yeared to draw cute and chibi characters, and I finally can now. I'd still feel ashamed at my low skill compared to other fanartists, but at least the comparisons wouldn't be public. Compared to all other fanartists...I just don't know how I can show my face in artist alley. o___o; But I can't give up trying to make a living as an artist; I have too many psychological problems to go back to any other kind of work. My only solution is to get better. But it feels like that's never going to happen, not to the point where I can compete in artist alley, and like my stuff myself.

Aaaaaaauuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhh!

In the end, it's still Faebruary, and I still had to draw a fairy for the day. So I went back to drawing one of my previous favorite characters, that I was more comfortable drawing. I didn't end up with an extraordinary fairy, but it's acceptable. I daresay, even cute. I just wish I could just as easily draw my current favorite characters, like Claude, at least as cute chibi and elicite a cute response (from myself).

They say not to look at other people's art to avoid comparisons and beating yourself up. But I like everyone else's art! They're drawing my favorite character so well! ;o;

Uuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh...

I just needed to get that all out. Please ignore my idiocy. I WILL be too intimidated by any kind of social interaction or emotional connection, to reply to any comments.

#venting #please ignore my idiocy #artist self doubt

[frogsandfries]

I'm angry-depressed.

I'm proud of myself for recognizing that, even if I have no idea what to do with that information.

Look at this cute thing I traced from @birduyen Steven Universe sticker sets:

It's the Rutile Twins! Pre-shrink.

I was thinking that it'd be cool to just make a whole sheet of butterfly wings--it'd be cooler to print it and maybe color it in. Un-colored butterfly wings would make a cool DIY craft. Or whole sheets of butterfly wings as a printable. When I was thinking about sheets of butterfly wings, I also thought about the sheets of eggs I made when I was staying in Oregon. I want to buy specifically printable shrink paper now. But I'm going to wait. I'm going to work through the sheets I have (and stubbornly try to print anyway). It'll be fun?

Plus, I'll have no trouble coming up with fifty sheets worth of stuff for pins, charms, earrings, water bottle decorations; I can probably dream up about a dozen more purposes they could be put to.

I don't know how they'll shrink down, but I got about sixteen objects out of this sheet--I like my pins a little smaller, about an inch or so, but assuming the drawings only shrink to about twenty percent, they still won't be huge. Even if I only got six items per sheet--I can't imagine working any bigger than that-- that's still about three hundred items. If I do earrings, since currently, I'm limited to studs at work, I can certainly get at least sixteen pairs of earrings per sheet. It really depends on how everything shrinks down.

It's really tempting to just bust out a couple sheets of just one kind of thing--avocados and avocado friends, strawberries--man, I could go nuts on a sheet of strawberries, chocolate covered, with drizzles, rainbow strawberries--I was thinking about doing all kinds of chocolate bars, dark, milk, white, with nuts, sprinkles, with words stamped in; wrappers pulled off, bites taken out. Candy hearts with all kinds of sayings, normal ones, but also bitchy sayings. I already have/had a sheet of popsicles, but I could always make a new one, one that's just the lines for coloring.

I re-downloaded the coloring app for the mandalas and there are soooooooo many really pretty ones that would make awesome earrings or hair pieces.

I was also thinking about making little charms, almost more like beads, of M&Ms and chocolate chips and jelly beans, and maybe little fruit slices, to make like a jingly piece, maybe for my coat pocket, since I don't wear bracelets, but it could also be a bracelet. Something like that, with sooo many little parts, I would definitely want to print colored. I think the most painful part of it is that I'm trying to do it from my bed, and the light source is giving me trouble. I wonder if my friend's paper slicer has a cutting surface. Maybe I should just buy a more modest cutting mat.

I wonder if I could use a spray fixative if the printer ink doesn't set?

Anyway, what did I say? I've already had like a dozen ideas for entire sheets of shrink paper.

Pokemon. If that's all I did, I could probably almost do all of them.

Now I just need the time. Normally the problem with side-quests like this is that I produce ideas faster than I can put them into practice, and eventually lose interest in the method, or move on to something more pressing. I should continue to produce lineworks at least, for my core project. That really is the project I want to take into my thesis and I don't want those really apparent style development gaps that have always caused me to ditch whatever progress I made a few months or years ago and start over. I'm not starting this over. Nope nope nope. So I might as well stay consistent.

[frogsandfries]

I'm tired of coming off as a dyke

And I'm not sure if I should be apologetic about using that word. I don't mean it derogatorily against anyone, I just mean to express that sometimes my wardrobe comes off as confusing to people and I giving refuse to buy my fourth coat in five years ((critical detail, I LIVED IN THE DESERT FOR ONE YEAR)). Like, it's not like my coats wear out that quickly. It is solely, exclusively that my dad is magically less responsible than I am.

Point being, I bought some shrink sheets. I'm not entirely sure if I can put them in the printer, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to try. I don't own colored drawing media and I'm not interested in doing so, plus, I've already started drawing my templates on my tablet, but I'd also love to turn this sticker sheet I found online into a bunch of pins. I don't remember who made it.

I guess I could easily just print the outlines and buy..... like, markers or something? I work at a lumber yard; it wouldn't be that hard to bring home sand paper, but at this point, it would be turning into too much effort. I just want to print a few sheets of cute things and bada-bing, bada-boom, pins!

But of course, then again, I did buy the giant pack of shrink sheets, sooooooo..........I mean, I have a history of genuinely meaning to commit to projects that I enjoy, and then just moving on...... At the same time, a) I've been meaning to make some pins, b) I intend to make multiples on a theme, such as puppy and kitten ice cream cones, and perhaps even in various color palettes. So I've already got some pin backs, and sure, I intended them for polyclay pins, but these are definitely easier to reproduce, whether or not I can print them, and they're easier to protect.

Toward the end of my night, I kind of got sloppy and starting piling layers of scribbles of the usual doodle friends, turning off layers and continuing to add and turn off layers, so at some point, I'll have to deal with that.

I would kind of like to do something similar to what Baylee Jay did in her shrink plastic video, maybe make a full-sheet piece, whether or not I cut it into a puzzle, maybe I could make the pieces into a bracelet or something; just to get an idea of how far the plastic shrinks. I was referencing the "stickers" that I printed earlier this summer (and then ended up not wanting to cut them all out using scissors but not having money for a new X-acto handle or a cutting mat), and if the plastic shrinks like I'm expecting, I think I would be happy with the size they would be. I think it will take some trial and error to get my pins the right size, and that's assuming I can even use the printer to print on the shrink paper.

If not...............I really don't know............

Edit: I did some more research because of course I did. It doesn't look like it can be printed on under any circumstances, but of course, I'm always like, step aside fools! Let a real fool show you how it's done!! And then sheepishly give in to defeat about 97% of the time.

So maybe I'll just.......... idk, buy some colored pencils, just some regular ole Crayola, and print my many, many sheets of eventual doodle friends. I dunno, I feel a little misled, but I also did not do my due diligence. Maybe some coloring action could be fun. I could still trace those sticker designs that I want.

Most likely not being able to print on it just turned this from a project into a Project!™ But I can still totally have fun with this.