#also this tagging function is really fun

[tsuru-tan]

⛩️ INTRODUCTION ⛩️

Hiya, I’m Tsuru, your friendly neighbourhood artist, singer, & constantly sleepy crane VTuber~

As well as sharing art here, I also stream and post covers on my YouTube, so please check it out!

Hope we can all get along~

��Twitter: https://twitter.com/tsurutan_ch

✨Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tsuru_tan/

✨YouTube:

#vtuber #youtaite #digital art #new artist #vocalist #utaite #envtuber #vocaloid #i don’t know how to use tumblr help #also this tagging function is really fun

[satsuha]

u know im back on my bullshit

#octopath traveler ii #octopath traveler 2 #satsuhart #temehika #hikari ku #temenos mistral #i thought long and hard about whether temenos is a catboy or a dogboy (hound) #and in the end i decided on arctic fox. #i have.... thoughts but theyre all spoilery thoughts like no literally no one can talk about why they like them without mentioning spoilers #ive been seeing it happen on twt for like the past 2 weeks #but anyway (spoiler) (spoiler) just trust me dude. theyre a good ship #it has nothing to do with the fact that ive liked mage warrior ships for the past 5 years. shut up #also i bought csp v2 and the shading assist... she popped off a little w that one ngl #but im still very angry about csp's terrible autosave function #like fun fact that first pic? i dont have it in .clip format anymore LOL #it also deleted the little pic i made about my ship taste but i didnt know and i deleted that tweet bc i was embarrassed #i mean it isnt a big loss i can remake it anytime but like. shaking fist at csp autosave function #tags are really quite dangerous im not even sure if theres a limit? ill stop here tho gn... i am working on a temehika fic 👍 #octo2

[larkspurglove]

Maybe if I cope hard enough song 21 or 22 is Man of the House-

#epic the musical #odysseus #queue’d #there’s a 50% chance it’s bc it sounds Hamilton-y but I love Man of the House #it’s such a bop #ik it’s scrapped but like IF I COPE- #anyway my reasoning as to why it could be song 21 or 22 is bc epic the musical as a standalone adaptation #is REALLY missing some Odysseus backstory content #bc if you went into the musical without knowing anything about the odyssey or Greek mythology here’s what you’d know #1. he’s been at war for 10 years and really misses his family #2. he really really loves and misses his wife #3. he’s the king of Ithaca #4. when he was younger Athena saw him kill a boar and was like ‘yo this kid’s cool I’m gonna mentor him’ #< also I’m not even sure if point 4 is accurate to the actual Greek myths but regardless #outside of Warrior of the Mind there’s not a lot of Odysseus backstory #like you can function on these points alone but I think it would be fun to get more ody backstory #also imagine act 2 opening with Man of the House #it’s a hopeful pick-me-up from Monster and the Underworld Saga in general #and not to mention illustrates what’s at stake plus starts to introduce the ‘we’ve been on this voyage for a bit too long man’ element #plus it would introduce the ‘where is he’ motif and the ‘time is ticking it’s running out time to be the man of the house’ motif earlier #and I could write a whole ‘nother wall of tags about how those motifs would affect the story in this scenario #I mean Jay’s probably gonna introduce those motifs somewhere else outside of The Challenge and Odysseus/King so yeah #Man of the House you’re not a cut song to me <3 #epic the thunder saga #lark rambles

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more #I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s #the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything #that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da #lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how #get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to #and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not #be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much #of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so. #literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in #bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it #into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it #but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted #any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself #not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha #usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day #because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere #I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s #just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway #this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this #bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school #vent tw #yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely #disability #chronically ill #i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho #i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to #anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse #I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours #I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework

[pyrriax]

HI TUMBLR late footnote posting before i go to bed (i took a nap today........ ate up most of my time)

not a lot to talk about with footnotes today since i was Busy and my brain wasnt working pfndkmlfd i blame seven hours of modded oneblock

#haunted ecosystem #haunted bookshelf #i might make a tag for these footnote posts? i think its a fun way to document what ive written about without sharing All of it #also yes thats a random crack au that i've have in the back of my head for a bit what about it #i dont think its canon in the slightest its just a funny little thing in my head for writing random bs #honestly i might start trying to work on more wtds stuff. this is kind of a perfect excuse #also! i think how i might work this is that if i work on a larger project during the day then i'll just do the daily prompt #since its a good exercise and an excuse to keep some kind of writing streak going #i actually asked one of my partners for a prompt since i was struggling to find an interesting one #ended up with 'last man standing' for spoke... very fitting tbh #i might write a more canon take for that. the concept i wrote down was much more set in an au than anything since i was also thinking #about asomatous zam at the same time so i kind of just incorparated both of them into it with it being paracosm-era #OH did i ever mention that i have a general title plan for the other parts of that kind of. world #its very set in stone that if i do write more it'll be two more parts #metamorphosis (5 part) and paracosm (1 part with multiple scenes. functionally 3 part maybe?) #asomatous goes in the middle of that. i need to kind of plan all of them out better and see how it wants to flow #metamorphosis was started as a concept because i had a few bad things happen bingo prompts i wanted to be used for asomatous #but didnt end up using. so metamorphosis is my excuse for that. paracosm is just a Concept thats been really plaguing me basically since i #originally wrote asomatous... i should probably come up with a temporary series title. i think something about shattering skies? #its a reoccurring theme and symbol throughout all of them....... i just think its neat #ANYWAYS goodnight to you especially if you actually read through all my tags :)

[icewindandboringhorror]

misc. daily life photos again .. for the every once in a while that I collect enough over a few months to actually make a photo set out of them lol

#Not sure how to caption every photo because you can unfortunately no longer caption photos so that text appears #under them when you view them. you can only add photo descriptions (which is more about literally describing #the image for people who can't see it or etc.). I wish they had the ability to have both captions and descriptions as both are useful for #different functions but it seems they took captions away entirely so. I guess I'll have to just number every picture and then talk about th #em in the tags or soemthing?? SO.. starting from top left to right -- #image 1: blackberries BUT also if you look close.. there's a tiny little bug on them lol #image 2: little water droplets on the back of a leaf that looked cool.. love anything with tiny water orbs #image 3&4: a spiky fuzzy sort of caterpillar outside on a yardwork glove.. small friend #image 5: THIS is such a bad slogan!!! what a lie!!! I personally would LOVE to have a sandwich party! in fact I would rather attend a #sandwich party than a pizza party because it would be fun to sample a wide variety of sandwich platters with all different meats and chee #& breads & ingredients & etc. !! now I just wish I could go to a cool sandwich sampling party w a full buffet of various mini sandwiches : #image 6: a chicken sandwich I made myself at home. with swiss cheese >:3 #image 7&8 : HHRGH it's a CAT and also bubble tea!!! AND is pastel teal! but alas.. it was like $20 and I didnt want to pay that but now #looking back on the photos slightly regret it lol. I think it's more because it's a brand name since the cat is some popular cat like hello #kitty or something. I didn't really notice that until later lol. I was just thinking 'OMG A CAT!'. I love all cats. brand or no brand lol #image 9: my single once a year trip to the drink place that has really nice garlic noodles. this time with beef? which was good too. And #the typical drink order of pina colada smoothie (i think it's coconut pineapple and strawberry?). plain matcha bubble tea (favorite and all #I ever get from anywhere). and a strawberry smoothie thing. I also usually get a coffee bubble tea but the place is like 50% of the time ou #of coffee for some reason so. hggh.. Which I know is like everyday food for some people but. I get food from places SO rarely that it's al #ays an event to take a picture about lol. Just cooking at home 99% of the time makes those trips for fancy food more special I guess #Id rather save the money/dont have much in the 1st place .& also am still a freak who hates using apps/dislikes shit like ubereats or etc. #I would literall NEVER get food delivered to my house under any circumstance unless I was dying alone inside on hospital bed rest with no #support system and no transportation and having food delivered to me was my last possible option. otherwise. if I want something so bad #I can just leave the house to physically pick it up myself without involving a middle man to the process and paying more. .. ANYWAY ghjgjh #image 10: BOY in BOX.. playing a new boardgame and he sits inside! rip to my big beautiful son. I miss him. #UpWords is a fun game though. It's similar to scrabble except you can stack the letters? interesting #Okay. that's all the pictures! Also for the record I do think it's a good thing to have image descriptions! I wasn't complaining in the sen #e that I wish they would get rid of them and bring captions back. more just I would like to have both preferrably. I liked being able to #caption things on the occasional post like this where the layout is better suited towards it. #photo diary

[tyrannuspitch]

i think. i should read more comics.

#space viking tag #i'm just not particularly interesting in the reincarnation plotline and that's what everyone always recommends so idk where to start #idk. i mean. maybe i shouldn't. i haven't really vibed with any non-mcu stuff i've encountered so far #including aoa which is often regarded as like. the peak of marvel loki. it was good! but it wasn't rlly for me. #i have a soft spot for toa bc it's whimsical and charming and prequelesque but i also have so many complaints #idk. hmmm. #i should probably look for some thor-centric stuff but i also dk if that will do aaanything i'm interested in #bc i *like* him in context with loki and i like going teehee he's not so heroic after all he's actually extremely LIKE LOKI #and i get a strong impression that his appeal in comics is much more straightforward like... they're playing it all straight #he just Is A Hero and the complexity is that he USED to be a bully. while i prefer BOTH of those things to be much much greyer #idk....... #at least when i'm engaging w/ stuff even if it is frustrating it keeps me thinking abt thor which i always on some level enjoy <3 #i've felt so unfocused and untethered since like. november :-: i need my obsession back!! #it's even fun just to like. see their little faces. #comics thor is not rlly my boy but he's the root of my boy so w/e i see him on some like marvel postcard or whatever in a shop #i still get to go teehee it's my little guy :) #but i'm not a merch person at all interestingly enough. if i buy an object i WILL forget it exists within a week #maybe not if it had a practical function? #but i feel like over time that would fade into visual noise too like oh these are just my. oven gloves or whatever. #anyway what was i talking about

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

I am opening my mouth like a baby bird for the barebones offline version of the rpgsolo stuff .. excited to see :3

i hope you enjoy it when it goes up, anon!! my main issue so far is trying to figure out how tf to format the percentage tables over text on a tumblr post. i could just post screenshots of it, because as it is it formats terribly onto here, but it's critical for it to be screen-reader accessible. i might go ahead and put it in a pastebin to link along with the screenshots; i'd like to get it down in multiple formats and mirrors in case something happens to one version, i Do Not Trust hosting sites these days, but i think that's probably a good start.

#asks #anonymous #whosebaby talks #whosebaby makes things #whosebaby does gamedev #ttrpg tag #i absolutely want to get it down in as cohesive; easily-parsed; and minimally susceptible to link rot a format as possible #i believe strongly in crediting and directing people back to the sources you're making use of #but the idea of 'this game is now unplayable bc the page with critical infrastructure to its function disappeared' makes me itchy as hell #BUT yes first and foremost i want to make sure it's accessible to people at *all* even if it might be a bit of an extra hassle #cannot overstate how much the work of indie devs setting out to fill a niche and make it easier for people to experience the joy of ttrpgs #in the way that actually works and is fun and accessible for them; while also making me realize that Wait *I* Can Do This TOO :O #has been a joy and inspiration to me both on principle and because it's let me enjoy tabletop myself when i couldn't otherwise #and being able to contribute back the same way is just !!!!!!!!! and i hope the results bring people the same #ANYWAY. happy chrysler to anyone who celebrates i have great big feelings about tabletop dev #and this was really nice to get thank you anon

[bronanlynch]

obsessed w the choice to have reinhard & hilda hook up for the first time in the context of. reinhard is having a breakdown over his guilt at the death of his boy best friend like. very heterosexual of him, I'm sure

#also like. it is so funny to me that people ship this as like. them being In Love and fluffy etc etc like. the vibes are extremely Not That #they fuck bc he's having a breakdown. she leaves before he wakes up and looks terrified when he comes to see her #he gave her a military position and wanted to make her prime minister and every time she correctly disagrees with him he hates her for it #she's the closest thing he has to a friend but he can't forgive her for not being kircheis so he marries her instead #he brings flowers bc it's what mittermeyer did bc he's following a script bc he doesn't know how to do any of this #(this being. heterosexuality. having any kind of normal relationships with people. functioning in society) #she canonically doesn't feel like she understands how to be a woman #oh my god are they the 'he's gay she's a lesbian their marriage will change your perception of love' couple #wait no also. his reason for proposing. jesus christ his entire concept of gender & relationships is So shaped by what happened to annerose #he feels obligated to marry her now but also. as if marrying her isn't just another way of trapping her into that kind of role #like she's can't be ur official military advisor or ur prime minister. she has to be Your Wife. and i cannot see her being happy w that #like it would get her what she wants (advancement for her family) but oh my god at what cost #sorry these tags are just. my running commentary of the ep now anyway losing it at reinhard saying “can kircheis forgive me for marrying” #ok i was gonna make fun of him being like “he never got to marry before he died :/” like. i really don't think that was a priority for him #but i do also think given the opportunity he would've married annerose. mediated desire and all that #dreaming.txt #e watches logh

[bokatan]

Excessively Detailed Asks: 6, 8, 22, and 28 for Mercy and Reed

[ prompt ] @fuzzydreamin

6: Eating habits and sample daily menu

my beloved garbage boy. When left to his own devices, Reed’s terrible about remembering to do things like eat(as one does- a fun common side effect of stimulants like mentats is just not feeling hungry ever, so it's very easy to forget about eating). When he’s alone he usually just eats some of whatever he has for Margot, so his usual ‘meals’ end up just being some sort of cooked or dried meat, maybe a fruit or vegetable of some kind if he can locate one, & probably some granola or whatever snack he has that's getting crushed at the bottom of his bag.

Mercy's food habits are pretty dependent on her current lifestyle- she keeps it very simple and lowkey if she's actively traveling(and it varies if she's traveling in populated areas or if she's in the middle of nowhere), but she's a lot more likely to actually spend time preparing food when she's staying in one location for a while. She pretty much always starts her days with some sort of tea though, regardless of what lifestyle she's living.

8: Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

Reed loves mulled/spiced wines so much. He doesn't really feel bad for indulging in it or anything, but he's very set on that only being a winter drink for whatever reason. He also loves coffee, and also doesn't really have any negative feelings about it aside from the fact that it's so expensive and those caps could be going to something better.

Mercy loves fancier clothes & formalwear(I'd say prewar, but it doesn't specifically have to be that old- just prewar styles). She doesn't really feel bad for buying it or anything, but she does typically feel like she can't wear it on a daily basis because it's going to get wrecked so fast with her lifestyle. She sometimes compromises by getting higher end gear made instead- she loves well made leather products, hats, clothes, etc and that's kind of a happy medium between functional thing she can actually use and things that look really good and match her style.

22: Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Reed's either going to get bored enough to start tearing the paper up, or he's going to give it to Margot to tear up. The pencil's already in his bag, don't worry about it.

Mercy will probably get bored enough to start trying to work out whatever problem she's recently run into with her research. She's definitely taking the paper with her, but it's not like it'd be very legible anyways- she has terrible handwriting.

28: Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Reed: #1 best friend is probably a solid tie between Mercy & Delta, and #1 worst enemy is Quinlan- Teagan, Rhys, & Carrington are all tied for a very close 2nd place there.

Mercy: Would probably say Reed's her best friend, but he's also on thin ice. I don't think she currently has any one living person she'd consider to be her worst enemy, but in general it's on sight if she comes across anyone with an Enclave affiliation & she's pretty openly hostile towards the BOS in general.

#ask games #thank you!💖 #mercy tag #reed tag #these are fun #i'm sorry but reed is. really not good at being a functional adult. idk how he's still alive honestly #just out here living off crushed up pocket granola. his dog 100% eats better than he does #reed does like making food for companions though- like not gonna say he's great at cooking but he's not *bad* yknow? #maybe a little plain and bland but he's capable of making food that's not raw or a hockey puck #mercy's pretty decent at cooking but is also just not gonna spend the time doing that when she's living her best drifter life #i feel like she'd like baking? she seems like the type that would stress bake ngl

[what-are-even-humans]

So the biggest exam of my semester is in 59 hours and I'm too tired to do any kind of work. Please send help. This is fine.

#sorry for spamming on here but im too tired to care #chronic illness is so funn yall #ive gotten through 66% of my preparations/the curriculum so this is shaping up to be my worst semester result wise ever #which is fine. i mean it is what it is but i had a full on week long break down a year and a half ago for getting a c so this might be fun #gotta love gifted kid syndrome #what do you mean i cant just get straight As now that im only able to do like 25-30 hours work a week and also had major surgery #this semester 😲 #i mean itll be fine. unless i have spectacularly bad luck i wont be drawn both in orthopaedic and kbp #and barring that i really probably wont fail or anything #i might even get lucky and get drawn in like SCa and oncology or pain conditions in which case i might even get an a but like... #im probably realistically speaking at like a D. which is fine. its fine. really. #ill just have to get comfortable with the idea and also maybe if im not too sick work some on kbp #orthopaedics can suck my dick honestly. except fractures. fractures can stay theyre alright. #fucking knee and shoulder pathology in orthopaedics however is the fucking worst and i hate the existence of both shoulders and knees wirh #a burning passion atm #he said having been unable to study for like two days and needing a 5 hour lie down after attending a 3 hour seminar earlier in the week #surely that has nothing to do with my current condition #or predicament rather #anyways yeah i love rambling in the tags when im too tired to function properly #not space

[crossbackpoke-check]

what are ur thoughts on the winners room trope?

ooooo okay surface level analysis: i like winner’s room fics :)

etwas tieferes: i think it’s cool that it’s (afaik) unique to hockey fandom and i enjoy the way it integrates a lot of unspoken rules in hockey with desire/makes them a physical/tangible reality… also the narrative potentials/world-building it opens up can be fun because there’s not really a set of rules for the “winner’s room” trope. are there in-universe rules? who gets chosen? who’s exempt? who gets to pick? where’s it going down? is it the entire room or one guy? what if your (ex)boyfriend is on another team? does somebody need to be taught a lesson or do you need to remind someone who got traded you still love them? also, most important, winner’s room gives you the chance to put two random-ass guys you saw interact for 0.002 seconds and went “hmmm. interesting” about into a Situation and i love that

#yeah buddy!! i love answering questions!!! unironically i have so many opinions!!!! #refraining from putting this in the main text but had to go: yeah who doesn’t love a good g*ngb*ng #it also doesn’t just have to be a bunch of dudes fucking though per always: i think winner’s room fics can bring up interesting dialogues #about the idea of bodily autonomy and self-sacrifice or sacrifice in sports #every fic can utilize a trope their own way so you might have lighter versions or heavier versions and #tw: sa #dub-con/CNC elements which. given the truth of SA and abuse in hockey it’s valuable to have tools to explore and i feel like i need to #address that when i talk about this? obvi dead dove do not eat for some fics re:winner’s room but i think a lot of them do talk about #control and power to some extent if you were to do a deep literary analysis. which we don’t need to. sometimes it’s enough to read a fic one #time because you liked the main pairing and didn’t know SHIT about the flyers and then come back to it years later and absolutely lose your #goddamn mind about the fact that actually you DID know about travis konecny before you thought you did and at one point there were all these #guys that you now know and love who were just like. random fuckers in the sides of the fic. i tend to do that a lot bc i will read for #nearly everything (if i love u. i will read your works even if i don’t know anything about the fandom and also i am always willing to jump #on new ships) so also tangentially i think winner’s room fics are a lot of fun because you can see a lot of different interactions between a #lot of guys like not only is it this guy and this guy but also this guy and that guy and these two interacting around the sacrifice etc etc #tangled web many layers und so weiter. not sure if any of that makes sense but also i’m gonna tag for mentions of sa/wjc/hockey canada stuff #i don’t even really know if winner’s room functions as well even in other sports bc of the Team Identity in hockey & cultural context #liv in the replies #winner’s room can be layered with SO many other kinks and tropes and aus and also just like. i like it & that’s probably all i needed to say #also obvi re: rules for trope there aren’t ever any there’s just some popular variations and we can kinda see some of those forming #but i’m not even sure if winner’s room has its own tag on the archive? i’d have to check i know i have a few saved in my bookmarks at least #OH also if you made it this far. wasn’t sure if this was like a ‘do u got recs’ or a ‘what’s your moral stance’ or ‘hey is this something ur #into’ so. good faith good vibes y’all and if this wasn’t what u meant please elaborate the question i do love answering things #ty for the ask!!!! #for the record i do watch hockey like the leonardo dicaprio pointing meme finding milliseconds of interaction to go HAHA GAY NARRATIVE about

[toothmarqed]

fallen prey to saying stupid shit on the internet without thinking and coming off as incredibly rude and insensitive. i feel sick to my stomach. never commenting on anything else ever again. deserve to be squashed under someone’s shoe and ground into powder. in all seriousness this has shocked me so much that i am quitting every platform but tumblr for however long it takes for me to get some sense knocked into my dumb fucking skull

#actually considering deleting the clock app rn #what i said was so so bad and it could’ve been avoided if i’d fucking READ WHAT I WROTE and thought abt it FOR ONE GODDAMN MINUTE #i genuinely feel like i’m going to throw up being seen (fairly. justifiably) as mean is like the worst thing #and i don’t deserve to be wining abt this bc i’m the one who hurt someone but good god #PLEASE make sure that when you say something online you would SAY IT TO THEIR FACE #ive gotten to used to this brusque rude dark humor on the internet that i don’t relaizw using that humor INDISCRIMINATELY WITH STRANGERS is #Not okay #they made a video on it but the video got taken down so i deleted the comment. which might have been more selfish. i don’t know what’s best #-to do in that situation? i’m going to change my fucking username and pfp atp and go off the app entirely because i’m so fucking adhd ames #**ashamed don’t know why is autocorrected to that #ok just deleted the app ‘and all of its data’ so idk if that means my videos (edits) too but atp whatever #maybe it’s impulsive but at least this way i will not know what’s going on ! and never hurt anyone again hopefully. i really hope he saw my #-comments before his response was deleted because i want them to know it was not intentional and i am truly so so sorry #i don’t know how i’m going to function for the rest of the day. i’m going to think about this when i go to sleep for the rest of my life #i feel sick #i’m evil #and being evil isn’t fun silly times it literally makes me want to throw up from how bad i am #too much ranting in the tags and i deserve to be fucking shot in the mouth #but i need somewhere to put this that no one will see this but that is also public so that someone might see and know how sorry i am #feel like fucking bojack horseman #unironically how am i supposed to go on living. how can i live knowing i’m so bad. if i don’t kill myself im being selfish because i’m mak- #-omg everyone deal with my presence and live with a bad person. #i think i’m going too social media entirely except for tumblr maybe bc i can’t or don’t rly talk to anyone on here #i need someone to like give me a good meaning but not in a cathartic way in a way that it genuinely hurts so bad and makes me feel the full #suffering i deserve

[frascospecimen]

I feel bad because I’m struggling to draw so hard but I NEED to get these thoughts out so. continuing from this tag

#inklings would be butterflies I think because the original tags was about caterpillars #and also because I think it would work really well for Callie and Marie’s hair. becaue their bows could look like butterfly wings #And to match this maybe octolings could be moths. idk lol #OTHER DESIGNS THAT ARE REALLY CLEAR TO ME: #Annie is a tarantula now because I think it would work well with her hair lol. and because I think it would be cute #idk if moe will be like. a bug that spiders usually eat like a fly but now they’re friends. or like one of those frogs that spiders #sometimes keep as pets. two options #Paruko is also a spider though but the fish in her hair is definitely now a dead bug. SAD #sheldon roly poly maybe.. OR HERCULES BEETLE!? #i like the concept of beetle sheldon a lot actually. Cute #spyke is a mosquito probably idk how it would work with his hair but you know. scary and pointy but not actually terrible #I think it would be fun if Pearl was specifically a monarch butterfly to fit her princess theme.. #callie would def be one of those butterflies that have like. the batshit long thin tails coming off of their bottom wings to match her hair #bisk daddy long legs.. #Can you imagine capn cuttlefish butterfly beard. lol.. #Iso padre could be a big roly poly. #Salmonids are ants now. mass numbers kind of weird hard workers scary in big numbers. #could have fun stuff like bosses based off of specific types of ants #trapjaw ant boss honeypot ant boss that functions like steelhead #you know #Imagine Frye commanding giant earthworms. Beautiful world #ok no more ideas autism event over #if anyone wants to draw these I can’t.. I am struggling so bad with drawing right now but I want these to be real #Maybe I could have just made a post instead of tags but um. Oh well too late I don’t feel like moving it

[caricature-of-a-witch]

✨

#Ash's ramblings #you ever just take a look at yourself and it's like #it kinda looks like 85% of my problems lead back to my complete lack of a sense of self worth #and you go well maybe you really could use some therapy. but also it's 4.30pm on a thursday #and it's the end of term and you really have to finish that presentation and study for that exam and complete these 3 essays #and start on the other essays and hope the writing test tomorrow will go well and what about the speaking exam on Monday #that is online but the presentation is on site and there's only half an hour between and that's not enough time to get to uni actually #and. all the other things that take priority #and also therapy is kinda expensive and you already don't have hobbies bc you can't afford any classes and without classes you won't stick #to anything so can you afford therapy. and if you can wouldn't it be more fun to do sth else instead #but you kinda can't anyway but. maybe. Idk. but therapy also costs time and you don't have that either #and also you're not that bad off anyway so wouldn't it kinda be overkill. kinda embarrassing to go. you're functioning and all #havent considered drastic measures in quite a while. and what if you really ARE just stupid so your sense of self worth is in fact accurate #and therapy can't actually make you like. smart or talented or whatever so. wouldn't it just be a waste of time. #and then you look back at your laptop and realise you should be studying instead of mildly spiralling on tumblr so you get back to that #and try to focus #ily all feel free to ignore me I'm just stressed #Tag ramblings #suicide mention #Like. Very mild and not directly and all but idk just in case?? Idk what counts as triggering for whom so #it's like. idly thinking about why I practically never invite ppl to my flat. oh it's bc I'm embarrassed of the way I live and #scared it won't be good enough for others #why am I so immediately forgiving and willing to acceot things that hurt me. oh it's bc if I don't ppl won't have a reason to stick around #why do I get so quietly intensely jealous when ppl do cool things and have good things happen to them. oh it's bc it makes me think #that they'll realise how very much I don't fit into that cool life they're living and I can't keep up and I'm boring and the opposite of #anything they want in their life #I do realise this is. like. a problem. #it does not make me a better friend or partner or whatever if I'm constantly occupied with negative feelings about myself that #are no one else's problems and I shouldn't make it so. so I do not but it's still there and I can't make it go away #and I'm sure it's obvious sometimes that there's SOMETHING and that's. you know. Idk where I'm going with this.

[haeroniel-doliet]

God that mood where you both need to do stuff and want to do stuff but both needs are vague and have too many options so you just. Do nothing you want or need to do and realize all the time you had is disappearing. A good time!!!

#haeroniel talks #forget the tag oh well #but for real. had 4 days off work and a ton of real life stuff i both have to get done and have been meaning to get done for a long time #ive pretty much only played video games and called my friends. genuinely not time wasted and i love when i get to do that #and like rn i would love to play more games and spend time with my friends like if one offers you know i never say no #but its also already getting dark and i have to go back to work tomorrow and ive not done everything i promised to have done yknow? #time doesnt feel real and i dont wanna get up even if the anxiety slowly builds to hopefully productive panic #but in the mean time im like ugghh i wanna stop laying around just playing sudoku and watching lame youtube. i wanna play something #(unclear what it is i actually wanna play too many options i kinda wanna play all of them and none huehheh) #im also very sad i havent drawn in ages and any attempt just feels shit. like maybe if i read enough fanfic thatll respark the love. #id love to post something before christmas to get me excited to draw again over the break but who the hell knows if i'll manage #and yeah still have the annoying job related/driving school related/therapy applying/other life admin that really really should be done #im just being grouchy and stuck and need to vent hi tumblr love you all kiss kiss i wish i could function better #i think maybe perhaps. ill concede that driving school and therapy arent priority (important but ive wasted ages on them already) #i think i can do work related things bc theyre sort of fun. i can use my parents help to whack through the life admin and then #maybe i can let myself spend the rest of the evening guilt free either calling my friends and/or playing or if im going totally w drawin