#am i stupid ? probably a lot

[senselessalchemist]

Bow problems (+ other nonsense)

#saroart #dead cells #the beheaded #the collector #they just wanted a nice bow #the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows #i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk #okay a lot is an exaggeration. still #need some guys being buds content sometimes #weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre #i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably #esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore #but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't #unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so “”missed me“” and couldnt deliver my specialty meds #why must i get my meds through ups #because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company #ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment #tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month

[allgremlinart]

wait are you guys actually genuine when you say you wish there had been a 4th season of atla... like haha yeah more content, same !! but like. not actually because that would fucking suck ...

#a 4th season would be such a stupid addition it would leave the show so... lopsided. like #its already a perfect heroes journey trilogy... also the way yall hate the comics indiscriminately doesnt make me think #that anyone would have been happy with a hypothetical 4th season either. and that makes sense !! cus a lot of the post-canon stuff is #most fun when left vague/up to interpretation!! but I think I am A) rambling and B) preaching to the choir probably... #atla

[m00ngbin]

TFS TUESDAY! BUT ACTUALLY TUESDAY THIS TIME!

#last chapter was a lot #IN A GOOD WAY #a lot in a good way #it kills me how if they would just TALK TO EACH OTHER this whole thing could have been completely avoided #but thats not how people work. especially not kids and also toichiro is gonna do everything in his stupid power to keep them from being #friends again #i know im cutting it close its almost wednesday #BUT THE KEY WORD IS ALMOST #ITS NOT WEDNESDAY YET #where i am its not #SO CLOSE but not quite #fun fact that alien stuffed animal is something i won from a claw machine second try and when i got it i kid you not i fell to my knees #because i was so shocked #i shouldnt have touched the floor though it was probably gross #i just noticed tome's hair in that picture is longer on one side than the other and its going to bug me forever #typing all of this is keeping me from reading it so i'm going to shut up for a minute and get to the new chapter

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

I really need to stay humble lol

Me: I DON'T get the Dream x reader crowd I mean you do you, I'm obsessed with him but in a I Want To Study Him way. I don't get it. I mean he's such an emotional disaster, big divorced dad energy. Like what's attractive about a walking red flag -

Also me, a known dumbass, sees them:

Me omg hiiiiii <3333 #steponme2k24

#desire #the sandman #they could probably eat my heart and i'd thank them #I mean I don't think a lot of the dream x reader ppl objectify him in character #at least according to those who have looked #but that's another thing and also their business like I have no real beef with them unless they do incorrect tag spam. Live your bliss #Morpheus thirst girlies?? I can't act like I'm any better than y'all and I salute you. I get it even if I don't get it #we're all in this dumpster together #I am gay and stupid when it comes to hot fictional ppl okay #my biggest beef with y'all is being jealous because there's more than there used to be don't get me wrong #but there is CRIMINALLY little content for the Desire simps okay. So much less than there should be it feels wrong

[starflungwaddledee]

been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?

so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!

#this is *only* for starstruck and is not general requests! i'm just trying to figure out how i feel about this 😳 #obviously no guarantees that i will be confident enough to draw any of these or that i'll enjoy them all but i just... am considering it? #idk idk idk is this stupid.... #hope i won't regret this or won't get genuinely weirdass things. #just to be transparent this is sfw exclusively tho implied flirting is a-okay. please don't be weird....? i'm trusting folks to be nice!! #i would also happily take little prompts if you have thoughts about how it would work or whichever! like if you're a character Understander #if you have an idea how it would Work or what it might Be Like that would also help me to get a concept on how i feel about it!! #also i would.. consider ocs (only from their creator) if you... wanna??? character+artist *must* be an adult. starstruck is in her early 30 #also with ocs preferably from folks who i've at least interacted with before and like.. not just bc u want art ;;; #like... do u geniunely think they could have a cute dynamic? i'm just wondering if she could be Cute w someone. AUUghhGHHHH #again no promises and also for now i need this all done on the assumption it's just for fun!! just funsies. i'm just... thinking i guess! #want to try and figure out what it might be like if she WAS involved in a little ship/romo space...? as a treat? auughghhggghGHGLLG #also fair warning i may just get super embarrassed/nervous about this all and delete!! but i'm.. yknow. trying! #also i figure you can kind of tell my faves and who i hardly know much about. might not have lots of feelings about most side chars! #delete later #probably #wheeeeeEEEEeeahahahah okay;;; just post it. just post it starflung. just do it. hit the button hit the button hit the b

[rg11]

whats your fav aspect(s) of jadekat?

anon im sorry but i had like 40+ notes prepaired for my thoughts on jadekat but i lost all of them proof-reading it and this is all i got

they are the ultimate yuri to me

#jadekat #rgtxt #there was also tags that were like #karkat did not get the outcome he wanted with jade #he punished himself (slapping himself isnt that bad but i digress) #for well finding pity in such a “stupid” human #and it was obvious to him she hated him #(before the apology) #he wanted to troll her but got red feelings for her and did not like it #like i feel like if youre nice to jade she would be nice to you but with how karkat was being an ass he just got into more shit lol #like another thing is that they bicker a lot #like in the old couple way but also like... #a highschool couple shipped together by their school but they do not like eachother that much #like that probably isnt a real trope but its a trope in my head #but its like 3am sorry anon my thoughts are jumbled and i dont remember much right now soz #but in the sense of bickering it was more like opposite trolling #mainly with the passwords #but karkat was just trolling himself with that hugeass paragraph with just... i dont want to think about it hes just fucking weird #i am referring to page 3972 #i think the whole “you turned it into this overdramatic thing” is a good way to dumb down their relationship #most of her actions are just poking fun but then he will make a whole entire soap opera #she would do a puppet show he would do shakespear #and thats funny as shit

[docresa]

Today I had the best time volunteering for a teaching project (which is led by our chief vascular surgeon).

That is, apart from the fact that we ran into some of our abdominal surgery attendings, who gave me a massive (verbal) side-eye for technically hanging out with the vascular surgeons in my free time. (Some of them don’t really see eye to eye, both medically and personally).

And I’m soooo sick of it, can’t I just try to figure out what I eventually want to do with my career without having to navigate a social and political minefield?

#yes I am technically an abdominal surgery resident #but since we are a general surgery department we do both thoracics and vascular as well #and both have been pursuing me to switch to their respective subspecialties #it’s putting a lot of stress on me tbh #because there are a lot of expectations #and I’m a stupid little people pleaser and I don’t want to disappoint anyone #and also I get excited by so many things #I get excited by pancreatic surgery as much as aortic surgery #though I’m at a point in my training where I do neither #which is ok btw #but how am I going to figure this out? #especially if everything I dip a toe in one department the other two get offended #and also there are some co-residents who would be very happy to have less competition in their respective fields #so there‘ll always be comments there as well #if anyone has any advice #please let me know #this is stressing me out #(and yes I do realize that this a very first world problem) #it’s still stressing me out though #and there is sooo much to finding a good mentor #I probably overthink this wayyyy to much #but yeah #After two weeks of actual vacation #(like actually being on another continent doing something completely unrelated) #my brain took the first best thing to cling to #sigh #resa rambles #residency #medblr #surgery

[rosemarytrash]

rave catboy hal for @mazin-go !!

tumblr will probably eat this to shit. anyway. still version below

#homestuck #hal strider #lil hal #jake english #IGNORE the typo i am stupid #forgot to post this earlier oops #art #comm stuff #look i made a gif #oh i should probably tag that too #flashing lights #but like barely #its just his helmet #i had a lot of fun w this anyway dfldfjkkl

[reineyday]

thinking about how steve was homophobic and misogynistic in s1 but they gave him a chance to be faced with a demogorgon when people needed help and he stepped up. everyone lauds him for that, and he's become a fan favourite. yet when billy, finally in his right mind after being possessed the whole season, gets the opportunity and chooses to do the same--stepping up to take a killing blow for el--people dont offer him the same grace? why. :(

the biggest (reasonable) argument is always 'billy dying was not a redemption' and it's not, you're right. steve stepping in to whack a demogorgon with jonathan's nail bat wasnt a redemption either; his redemption came with him apologizing to them both, and then working to show nancy that he's a better person as they deal with the fallout of s1, and being gracious about jonathan's presence in nancy's life. he got the chance to show he's changed and managed to redeem himself because he lived, and billy unfortunately didnt. but you cant deny that his final moments proved that the potential for him to change is there, and that makes a difference.

#rei rambles #billy hargrove #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things meta #kinda? i guess. #also: steve's homophobia and misogyny is a LOT less complicated than billy's racism #u can point to steve's bigotry as a sign of the times and his rich boy upbringing #billy's racism is mired in toxic family dynamics and probably a survival mindset #yes it's not EASY for steve to unlearn shit but that is certainly not as difficult as unlearning coping mechanisms #that probably served as methods of survival for billy as he grew up under his father's fists #unlearning toxic shit is already difficult when it's stuff society made you learn completely by accident through osmosis #which is what i assume is how steve picked up his homophobia and misogyny #imagine trying to unlearn stuff your dad probably beat you up for if you said you didnt believe it or thought was stupid #jeez #i am still absolutely convinced billy was added as a character bc they werent planning on making steve a good guy #so when they decided to do that last minute they had to refill the role #and then they added eddie bc billy became too controversial so they gave ed the metalhead stuff #and gave the racism and mean popular boy stuff to jason #and nixed all the sexualizing #which is another thing altogether. like why was billy the only character in this entire show that was so overtly sexualized?????? wild. #so weird. #i digress

[piplupod]

sorry i need to vaguepost real quick (its not about anyone here) bc i am sdgjkl so nauseous from this fucking up my nervous system on another account but GODDD i wish ppl wouldn't assume that if ur criticising a spiritual practice u must not know what ur talking about :'''))))

also the fact that ppl seem to think "well, it's a spiritual/religious/etc practice, so that means it is above criticism :)" drives me up a fucking wall,, with the huge rise of new age spiritual practices and belief systems, that is such a garbage way of thinking

so much of new age spirituality is based in racism and/or encouraging maladaptive thinking patterns and behaviours that can easily push a person into psychosis and/or white supremacy and im just...... head in my hands.

i know what the fuck im talking about bc i was deep in that world for years lmfao and it can be extremely scary in there. i still dip my toes in every now and then bc spirituality and religion and the bit where they intersect is fascinating and oftentimes very beautiful, but I have to be so careful to not fall in too deep or I'll end up in a very fucking bad place yet again lmfao. i just wish ppl wouldn't assume that "oh u said xyz spiritual thing is bad, so you must just not know what you're talking about" BRO TRUST ME. I KNOW FAR MORE THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON, AND I ALSO HAVE A VERY OPEN MIND. if i am criticising smth it is with good fucking reason !!!

#and im so careful because like. no not everyone who does xyz thing is stupid or in danger or whatever #but i think the Vague Concepts being so public is dangerous when the Actual Info is not as public. #because it encourages a lot of young people (teens and adults) who are desperate to escape their reality to feed into these things #and they do not do the proper research !!! they also do not know HOW to do the proper research oftentimes!! #so its just encouraging ppl to get into shit that encourages bigotry and poor mental health !!! #theres so much more i could say but i've already said too much probably fdsjkl im just. genuinely shaking #i hate this nervous system i hate this body i am so tired of things making me turn into a nauseous chihuahua #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[hamartia-grander]

Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south

#Cw gun mention I guess #I was feeling super nauseous so I went into the kitchen to get ritz crackers #And we're at my grandma's rn for Christmas and she has windows in the kitchen that look out at the road/other houses #And NO curtains or blinds because she's old #And anyway I turned a small light on so I could see the crackers and I hear a fucking man outside shout “WHO'S OUT THERE” #In the heaviest southern accent. Mind you every fucking person in this area has a gun bc there's lots of trees with squirreld they shoot #And logically now that I am calming down I know it was just a bad coincidence and he was probably yelling at smthn in his yard #But jesus fucking christ I felt such immediate intense fear my head went cold #Ran to my baby brother's room bc I was certain someone was gonna come kill us #Then the rationality took over and I just told my mom about it. But now I'm sitting outside his room eating crackers bc I'm fucking paranoid #It is almost 4am and I haven't slept a wink I cannot do this rn #But literally the last time I went for a walk around here my dad told me not to go alone and also not to say anything stupid #And also stay far away from houses bc I could get myself shot #Literally what the fuck is this. #“Afearican” except I'm still very much in the US #Not to mention almost every fucking house has a blue lives matter flag and some have isr*el flags now too like #I fuuuuucking hate it here

[joethehoeee]

I found something-

And it's just 😭-

It's-

Oh my god I laughed so hard at this that I had tears in my eyes the first time I saw it-

I mean why does he stand like this in his troll form? And why did they made his wings AND his cape? And why does the cape has a different color than the-

It's so ugly... I want it.

(But it isn’t availavle right now... or ever)

#toa strickler #walter strickler #stricklander #strickler #trollhunters #waltolomew stricklander #toa trollhunters #I really want that- #who even made this? i mean i know but like WHO DID THIS? #who thought this was a good idea #buut I actually had this in my drafts since my first post- #anyways I actually just post it bc I wanted to say that I FINALLY got the concept art book for trollhunters #I will post a lot when it's finally here- #it wasn't available a loooooong time (like this figure wich will probably never be-) but I have it now- #But I am serious. If anyone in this god damn world is willing to give me that ugly figure then I will spend much money- #Maybe that's stupid but my hyperfixation will be happy #I am so weird and I know that- #but honestly who isn’t?

[arsonist-chicken]

What if I just developed social skills to be able to actually make new friends in person and then used those skills to get a new phone number and pack my bags and run away to a place where no one knows me and all my past mistakes and fuckups and started over there without going into social isolation

#i needed to hand my expose in in february and got an email about it this weekend and agreed to hand it in on tuesday #it is now sunday evening and i just got another email about it but thinking about opening it makes me want to throw up #she's so nice and i don't want to see her scolding me for AGAIN not sticking to a deadline #what if she tells me that was the final deadline and i won't receive a grade for that class and so i won't be allowed to write my thesis #until next january? I wanted to graduate this autumn. it's april and i haven't even started on my thesis and i have like three bullet point #for the expose; and idek if I'll be able skillwise and mental health wise/adhd wise to actually write the stupid thesis #like what if i can't do it and then i've spent the last one and a half years on a degree i won't get in the end and then i won't be able to #apply to a lot of the jobs i thought actually looked good #@god give me some social butterfly skills and I'll give or throw most of my stuff i don't absolutely need away so i can just.. #go somewhere new. start over. and not become even more socially isolated than i already am. #does anyone know what a panic attack feels like because i'm having suspicions that i might have finally gotten them this year #but didn't recognise them as such because it could be worse #so anyway. god grant me some social friend making skills #if you can't do that at least throw in some adhd and depression treatment. i am sick of this. #and by this i mean the way i've been living my life at least since i left high school; probably even while still in high school #vent posts #mine #i love my online friends so much but i can't meet them outside to sit in the sun or chat about anything at all or go have coffee together #or or or you get me

[daydadahlias]

not to sound mentally ill at 1:30 am on a Sunday night but. when I find leftovers that past!me put in the fridge bc she meal prepped for the week, or when I find sticky notes with reminders on them to brush my teeth or shower that I wrote for myself knowing I might be awake until 1 am again and forget, or when I see that a past version of me has already done an assignment last week so I don’t have to do it tonight,, I just want to say thanks to her for taking care of me.

#it’s probably just bc I haven’t slept a lot this last week bc of all the stuff I’ve had to do #but :( #I’m like oddly emotional over past!jess like we’re not the same person #bc like :( idk :( past me bought chocolate bars a couple weeks ago knowing current me would want them #I stocked up on food so I wouldn’t be hungry #I wrote reminders so that even when I got swamped with work I wouldn’t forget to eat or bathe or take care of myself #and I know that seems stupid to notice and like it should just be Inherent for a person lol #but !! freshman me didn’t do this !! freshman/sophomore me was all outta whack #and so :( idk #I’m usually so sleep deprived and chaotic that I forget I’ve even done things for myself until I see them #and sometimes I am consciously like ‘future Jess will really appreciate this’ #like last night !! I did an assignment that’s not even due until the 29TH!!!!!!! #bc I had the motivation and I knew future Jess would be happy #and when it comes to the 29TH and I don’t have to worry about it I WILL be so happy!!!!!!! #I love people :( #I love what we do for ourselves #I love me #so yeah :) #that’s my bit for the night ok byeee

[mylittleredgirl]

Last year I left my lawn till late because some wildlife orgs had advised that leaving it a bit later into spring is good for all the insect life. Of course, my neighbour assumed I was horribly sick and unable to move for making such a grievous grassy error that he went did it for me. Apparently it was an eyesore! I wasn't sure if i should be touched at the freely given neighbourly help or just offended at the slight upon my poor maligned grass patch. Neat lawn people just freak me out. He does his in the middle of rainstorms and I get horrible visions of those cartoon characters who electrocute themselves and you can see all their bones.

oh man!!! i know that feeling!!! a bunch of my lot was ripped up one year trying to find a broken water line, and so instead of grassing it over i bought a mix of wildflower seeds to try and grow a meadow along one side of my property that i thought would be a very pretty surprise for everyone in late summer. i live in a small town in a rural area with no HOAs or anything, but there are a lot of retired men on my street and Lawn Care is a major hobby. there is GREAT long-standing debate over The Right Mower Height for the best looking grass... and so on.

and they kept mowing my meadow down!!!

it was with such good intentions -- and i felt soooooo guilty for not mowing the REST of my lawn that was actually grass -- that i didn't know how to ask them to stop until the damage was done. and now they're always commenting on how that area is "just weeds" YEAH I KNOW MAN!! those aggressive bare-earth pioneer plants are gonna take over if you don't let my flowers grow long enough to seed!! no going back now!!

at one point i told some neighbors that i felt really bad for being the neighborhood embarrassment and they were like what? no you're not? and anyway i win because one of my neighbors is a huge huge dick, and it pays dividends to be as sweet as possible and act very grateful even when my neighbors overstep.

my current issue is the neighbor who always gives me the worst home care advice and really thinks he's helping me by cutting up rotten wood and stacking it on my woodpile while i'm at work, where i then have to burn through it to get to anything else, but he doesn't really take in social cues and he lost his wife and desperately needs to be of service to someone At All Times, so the truth is that sometimes the thing i contribute to the community is to be the neighbor who graciously accepts help even when it's not helpful.

#chatter post #anonymous friend #i am convinced that ride mowers are a form of meditation that's acceptable for men #bad for the environment but probably good for their mental health #people around here have a lot of property to mow so it really is hours and hours #my lot is only a quarter acre so i should just mow it instead of spending stupid amounts of money paying someone else #to tear around and cause all kinds of damage and mow over some actual garden beds with their speed mowing. ugh. #but i bought a lawn mower and never used it so i think that theory has been fully tested

[itspileofgoodthings]

Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——

#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her #like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’ #she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel #she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love #and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy #so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless #like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now #because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it #just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11 #and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want #so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different #but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy #and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change #like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground #and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does #and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts #wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way #and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her #because she WILL find a way to win #but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL #it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is #because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say #ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her #and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy #of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants #and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands #like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time #and she feels every blow! #whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just #this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!