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flieslikeamoron · 4 months

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WIP Wednesday

I've posted a couple snippets of this before, but I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with it. So this is the first two chapters of my Steddie Schitt's Creek AU. I'll start posting it on AO3 once I'm far enough into it, but if you want a preview...

This is about 5K words. Rated T so far for kissing and slightly impure thoughts.

Steve Harrington is in hell. Granted, he's not wanted for tax crimes, insider trading, money laundering and whatever else his parents were getting up to. So it's not like he needs to flee arrest like they did. But is he really better off?

They put away a nice little offshore nest egg, fled the country for the Maldives as soon as they realized the heat was about to come down, and never said a word to him about what was coming. No heads up. No maybe you should come on vacation with us. No here’s an account we set up for you in the Caymans. Nothing.

And that's what Steve has left to his name. Nothing. Just a handful of clothes. And a ludicrously small amount cash. It's the kind of money he used to drop on lunch, or drinks at the club. Nothing. The cars are gone, and the New York apartment, and the house in the Hollywood Hills, and the beach house, and the other beach house, and the European beach house, the jet, so much of his wardrobe it makes him want to cry... The only thing left, the only thing that wasn't in his fugitive parents' name, the only thing he actually owns is a Family Video store in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.

Of all the pointless things. Why couldn't his parents have given him a sweet little boat or a cute little ski cabin or something the day he was born? Why did it have to be a useless video store?

He knows why. At the time they'd only owned about fifteen or twenty video stores. The start of a regional chain that grew into a national monster that grew into a media conglomerate. At the time it had been a way to welcome their new son into the family business. A new store. A new kid. Both born on the same day. It was symbolism, not a real gift. He's never seen the store. He doubts they have either. He completely forgot he even owned it until the lawyers sat him down and laid out the complete devastation of his life.

He doesn’t know who’s been running it, but someone has because it’s still open. Somehow. The Family Video part of his parents’ empire went under years ago, thousands of stores shut down all over the country. Just this one lonely shop left shambling along like some kind of zombie. An obsolete relic of a bygone era. He might as well own a Model T factory.

But it’s all he’s got. So now. Instead of whatever resort his parents fucked off to, instead of a fun little yacht or a Swiss chalet, he’s heading for Hawkins, Indiana. On a bus. A Bus! Where he has been trapped for over twelve hours with the absolute dregs of humanity and the pervasive smell of literal shit wafting from the disgusting excuse for a toilet.

He emerges. finally, with four suitcases, the last precious remnants of everything he holds dear, into the absolute worst place in the world.

The bus station seems to be right on the edge of what the sign across the street proclaims “Historic Downtown Hawkins.” There’s a row of quaint brick store fronts. Faded awnings over old-fashioned window displays. There's a restaurant called Mabel's. There's a Laundr-o-matic. There's an honest to God "General Store" like something out of a black and white movie. Like Steve's time warped into the actual past. Do these people even have cell phones? Has he discovered a land cut off from modern society like some explorer uncovering a hidden tribe in the Amazon? That would explain why they still have a video store.

His head is pounding. Everything is so fucking quaint. Someone says hi to him, giving Steve a cheerful wave as he passes. A disturbingly casual friendliness that puts Steve on edge. He waves back anyway, pasting on a big, fake smile. This is a nightmare, but he’s been in bad spots before. He just needs to sell the store and get the hell out of here.

But first things first, he needs a place to stay.

He pulls out his phone. Does this place even have Uber?

The car pulls up surprisingly quickly. A big boat of an Oldsmobile that’s seen better days. Not exactly Uber Black, but beggars can’t be choosers. Steve wheels his bags to the trunk. The driver doesn't seem like he's going to help, which is not going to do his star rating any favors. There's no porter so Steve pops the trunk himself. Only about two of the bags will fit. He puts the other two in the backseat, and climbs into the passengers seat.

The driver is a shaggy haired guy about Steve’s age. He just sit there. Staring at Steve, wide-eyed. "Hawkins Motel?" Steve says, annoyed. It's all in the app, isn't it? The guy opens his mouth, and closes it again. Is there something wrong with him? Does he not speak English? His haircut looks like he did it himself without a mirror. Steve mentally docks another star. "Anytime today," Steve snaps. He could maybe stand to be a bit more polite, but he smells of bus, and this has been the worst day of the worst week of his entire life.

The guy shrugs, still looking a bit surprised that driving an Uber means having another person in your car. "The motel you said?"

So he does speak English.

"That's right."

At least it’s a short drive. The motel’s toward the outskirts of the town, not that it seems like they get a lot of tourist traffic around here. As his driver pulls up to the check in office, Steve hesitates. The place looks- It’s a long row of dilapidated rooms with blue painted doors. Haphazardly tilted air conditioning units in the windows. A couple windows with cardboard taped in where the glass should be. An overflowing dumpster. It looks like it has been, or will be, the scene of a murder.

“Are you okay?”

“Be honest. Do you know of any murders that have happened here?”

The guy thinks about it for a second, rather than just rattling off a no. Which Steve appreciates. “Not that I know of,” he says. “But there’s a B&B back in town if this isn’t your speed.” He gives Steve a small smile. “Byers’ House. Really nice place.”

Steve can’t afford really nice. He mentally adds a star back to the guy’s rating for his honesty. “No, it’s- It’ll be fine. Could you just wait one second while I check in though? I need to get to Family Video after I drop off the bags.”

“I’m kind of in the middle of-”

“Five minutes, I swear. And you’re going back that way anyway, right? I’ll pay cash.”

The guy gives him a long look. “You can’t just-” the guy says, losing steam halfway through. Steve smiles as the guy caves with a muttered, “Fine.” It’s the Harrington charm. Works every time.

Family Video is on the other end of “Historic Downtown Hawkins” from the bus station. It seems to be getting into a less historic area, surrounded by a strip mall on one side. The video store has that classic brick look though. A mural on the side of the building with a mashup of movie characters from Elle Woods to Darth Vader. It could easily be removed, wouldn’t affect the sale price. There are large windows on either side of the door, the classic coming attractions posters surrounded by lights. But as Steve climbs the stairs he notices the posters are made by hand. Some of them look like well done art by someone who knows what they’re doing, some of them look like the scribblings of a five year old.

How quaint.

He grimaces, pushing the door open. Cringing at the cheerful tinkle of a bell. "Welcome to Family Video." The girl at the counter looks up from her magazine, bored. "Can I help you find something?"

"The manager?" Steve says.

"That's me." She straightens up. "Is there a problem?"

"I'm Steve." Steve tries out a smile as he makes his way over to the counter. He has a great one. But she seems unmoved, not smiling back. "Harrington." He points in the vague direction of the Family Video logo on the wall. "As in, the family in Family Video."

She cocks her head. "I think my family is the family in this Family Video. We've only been running the place for 28 years." She adds, "Buckley." She points to the nametag on her suspenders that says Robin. She's wearing suspenders. Somehow they kind of work for her.

"I'm sure my family appreciates all your family has done to keep the store up and running."

"Last one in the country."

Steve gives smiling one more go. She looks at him stone faced. So much for the famous Harrington charm. Steve supposes what he's about to say isn't going to give her a lot to smile about. "I guess this is awkward," Steve says. "But the fact is I own this building, and the franchise license."

"The hell you do." She crosses her arms over her chest, lifting her chin.

"I do though," Steve says. "I don't know what deal my parents worked out with your parents. Obviously, we've been- I've been- Hands off. So that's thirty years of profits you haven't had to share and rent you haven't had to pay. I won't be seeking to recoup that, by the way."

She snorts. "Go ahead and try. There aren't any profits to share. We barely keep the lights on."

"Maybe this is an opportunity then," he says. "To turn this-" He makes a motion, encompassing the worn counter she's standing behind, the overflowing shelves of Blu-rays and DVDs, the scuffed floors. The general aura of decline in this shrine to an outdated form of media. "Into something profitable."

"What exactly are you talking about?"

"Well, the building has value. If the business doesn’t."

"The business has value," she argues. "It's just not in profits."

Steve cocks his head. "I don't follow."

"It has value to the town. We host movie nights in the town square all summer. We have groups that meet here to talk about film or books or writing." She motions at a couple squashy chairs in the corner with another mural on the wall. It’s the Gremlins doing a dance from Singing in the Rain. "We have an annual film festival. It’s happening next month. There are-"

"That's great," Steve interrupts. "But I need actual money. Not feel good small town vibes." He has to get out of this hellhole. And if that means selling this building out from under this stranger he doesn't give a shit about, he'll do it. That's business. That's how the world works.

“And I need you to go be delusional somewhere else.” She frowns at him. “You don’t own this place.”

“Really?” he says. “Because I have a copy of the deed in my bag back at the hotel and another on file with my lawyer. How about you?”

“I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.” She manages to sound confident despite the fact that Steve knows for a fact she doesn’t have the goods.

“I’m happy to come back tomorrow with my extremely legal paperwork that will hold up in any court of law,” he says. “And you bring… Whatever you can dig up to help your case. If that doesn’t settle it, you can spend the profits you don’t have on a lawyer.”

“Great,” she says, voice flat. “Is there anything else I can help you with.” The amount of rage coming off her would be intimidating if he wasn’t completely sure he owns this place. And if she wasn’t wearing suspenders.

Steve heads to the diner down the street from the video store for dinner. He feels sort of shitty. Maybe he should have made his lawyer do this part, but he can’t really afford the retainer. So fuck it, fine. He’ll be the bad guy. It's not like it's his fault Robin’s parents put all their eggs in the basket of a store they didn't even own. What is Steve supposed to do about it? He needs the money. He owns the place. It's not on him to preserve some weird non-profit video store, just so kids can hang out there and talk about movies or whatever she was going on about.

"Anything I can get you?" a pretty blond asks. Steve grabs the menu, gives it a scan. The last few weeks have been one indignity after another. Steve didn’t really think he had any farther to sink, anything left to lose. But looking at that menu a lead weight sinks to the bottom of his gut, his throat suddenly going tight. He wants his salad with truffle vinagrette, he wants wagyu beef not meatloaf, he wants hiramasa not tilapia. He doesn’t want chicken fried anything ever.

"How about you bring me your favorite thing on the menu." He tries his smile out on the waitress just to make sure it's not broken. It’s probably not his best effort, considering how desperately he wants to cry about toro tartare. But she smiles back, charmed. He takes a second to notice how well she fills out her apron. Chrissy, her name tag says.

"Anything?" she says. "You don't have any food allergies, or-"

"Surprise me, Chrissy." She blushes at the sound of her name in his mouth.

“It’s so weird that you’re like… Here.” She shakes her head, wrinkling her nose. Very cute. “I’ve never met anyone famous before.”

“I know what you’re going to say,” Steve teases. “I’m more handsome than the pictures.”

She laughs. “Are you here for a while?” He can’t tell if it’s a come on or just curiosity.

“I have some business to wrap up,” Steve says. “But I’ll be here for a week or two.” Not more than that, surely. How long can it take to sell a stupid building?

"I'm really sorry about what happened. With your family and everything." She leans in, like she thinks he might be embarrassed for anyone to overhear her talking about something that was all over the news, all over twitter, all over tiktok, all over everything. The charges being made public. The feds turning Steve’s New York apartment inside out. Steve getting escorted out into a sea of flashing cameras. Every microsecond of his misfortune documented.

"Thanks," he says, clipped. The last thing he needs is pity from some girl who probably peaked by captaining her high school cheerleading squad, some waitress who's probably never left her home town. Steve's fucking broke, but he's still better than this town. Better than these people. He doesn't need her pity.

She senses the shift in his mood, the smile no longer directed at her. And straightens up. "Anything to drink?"

Steve fishes his phone out of his handbag when she's gone. He knows he shouldn't, but he checks his Instagram. He has friends all over the world. Had friends all over the world. And now look, he can watch them having fun without him in real time. Watch them not thinking about him. Not missing him. It's all right there in the palm of his hand.

There’s Kassandra sun bathing in Ibiza. And there’s Oliver clubbing in Toyko. And there’s Stavros. His boyfriend of a record breaking three months. Kissing some guy on the private plane he was supposed to be using to fly Steve out of here. And there’s Stavros kissing that same guy on his yacht with a breathtaking Mediterranean sunset behind them. Steve zooms in on a carpaccio with a jealousy so intense he feels sick to his stomach. Fuck Stavros, honestly. But he would kill for that carpaccio.

"Here you go," Chrissy chirps. She puts down a plate. "It's not actually on the menu, but it's my favorite. It’s like avocado toast, but it’s hash browns instead of toast. The kitchen makes it for me special." She puts down a second smaller plate with a few huge onion rings. “Mabel’s famous for her onion rings. Or- It’s the sauce, really.” She adds a milkshake. “You can use the shake for dipping too.”

Steve looks at the food. It’s all so… Fried. He looks at her face, the tentative smile there. He feels a flush of something uncomfortable. Feels sort of small, air knocked out of him by the way she bounced off his coldness and came back with a little piece of herself and a smile. Something hooks into his chest, and tugs.

“Thank you.” It sounds- Pathetically sincere. “It looks delicious.” That’s a lie, but he’s fucking doing his best.

Her smile grows to a bright, wide thing. Her pretty face lit up. She tilts her head, taking a breath. "Listen. I know you probably have- It's probably not what you're used to," she says. "But if you want to meet some people, there's a party out by the lake tonight." She shrugs. "I know it's hard to be new in town." She smiles again. So cute. "At least you could get a couple beers out of it."

"Will you be there?"

She blushes and nods. Pretty. Tempting. A nice distraction. Maybe even something he could put on his Insta.

“I’ll see you there.”

The party is exactly what Chrissy said it would be. Big bonfire. A couple kegs. A bunch of locals getting drunk, getting loud, hooking up. Steve looks around for Chrissy, pushing his way through the crowd. He doesn’t see her, and being around these yokels is bad for his morale. He grabs a beer and does another pass through the crowd, looking for anyone who’d make a good picture. He doesn’t need to advertise that he’s at a shitty party, but making out with someone hot might give Stavros second thoughts about taking that generic twink to Mykonos when he could have had Steve.

Steve looks past the rowdy center of the party to a guy standing a bit away from the fire. Long hair. Leather jacket. Shit-kicker boots. Steve can see a tantalizing bit of ink on his hand as he lights a cigarette. A bit more ink peeking out of the worn neckline of his tshirt. He looks like the kind of guy that'll sell you drugs or steal your wallet.

Perfect.

The camera is already open on Steve’s phone as he steps in close to the guy. Steve takes a fist full of his shirt in hand to keep him from stepping back as Steve plants one on him. The phone clicks and Steve' glances over at, about to take one more.

The guy cups Steve's chin. Warm fingers insistent, turning Steve away from the phone. Turning the hurried, awkward mash of their lips together into something that catches. Steve opens up, unthinking, for the heat of his mouth. The hand tight on his waist urges him closer, into the brush of leather, the heat of a body up against his. There's a lazy confidence to the way the guy slips him a little tongue. Steve leans into it, into him.

And the guy pulls back.

It takes Steve a second to let go of the grip he has on the guy's shirt. To remember why he came over here. His phone. Right. He never did get that second pic. He licks his lower lip. His eyes still on the guy. On his mouth. When Steve looks up enough to catch the guy's eye, the cocky quirk of his eyebrow, he can feel his face going hot.

Jesus.

Why is this guy even getting to him? He flirted his way out a Saudi prince's compound. He made it through two countries without a passport. He got into KissKiss without a lock of human hair. He does not get flustered. Especially not by small town guys with hair like they've been in a bunker since the 80s, and rough fingers and that infuriatingly amused look on their face.

"Um," Steve says. The guy's smile gets wider. Fuck.

“I have to-” Steve makes a vague motion, and starts walking in any random direction that’s away from how hard his heart is pounding, from how obvious it must be that he wants. From how easy it was to get under his skin. He tries not to picture that taunting grin being directed at his back while the guy watches him basically make a run for it.

Steve hitches a ride back to the motel, dreading taking an actual look inside his room. The bags are where he carelessly tossed him. The floors are worn linoleum. The air conditioner rattles like a plane propeller. The tile in the bathroom is chipped and discolored. He lines up his bags neatly in the closet. No point in unpacking. He won’t be staying long.

There are cigarette burns on the blanket, but the sheets seem clean at least. He slides gingerly into bed and pulls out his phone. He looks at the picture he took. It’s not great. A bit blurry. There’s the awkward stretch of his arm holding the camera. But if he cropped it- He zooms in on the guy’s face, trying to get a better look than he did at the party. It’s really only half his face. Steve can’t see that glint in his eyes, that curve of the grin that sticks so sharply in Steve’s craw. The soft focus blurry moment of his mouth against Steve’s still sends a thick pulse of arousal through Steve’s gut. The memory of the guy’s fingers against his chin, the demanding heat of his mouth.

He deletes the photo from his phone without posting it. It wasn’t Instaworthy.

CHAPTER TWO

Steve wakes up feeling worse than he did the time he accidentally roofied himself. A shower helps a little. The water temperature could charitably be called lukewarm. But Steve stands too long in the tepid spray, drawing in deep breaths, filling his lungs with the smell of his shampoo. One of a kind, made just for him. Because he’s the kind of person people want selling their brand. Because he’s the kind of person who has what other people want. He’s the kind of person other people want to be like.

Or he was.

No, he still is. No one will touch him right now, but that’s temporary. The next scandal will come along. People will forget about the bullshit, and remember that he’s Steve Harrington.

He fortifies himself with a look in the mirror. He hasn’t changed. He’s still got a face made to sell collagen spray and a body made for thirst traps. He takes a little extra time with his hair. He takes a little extra time choosing his outfit, running his hands through the couture in his suitcases, the thick wool and crisp linen, bumpy tweed, featherlight jersey. He pulls out a couple favorites. The gray pleated skirt. Thom Browne, of course. He hesitates between the matching sports coat and the red LV bomber. He always feels like hot shit in the bomber, but he should probably go for the look that says I’ll see you in court. His fingers trail over the soft leather of the bomber as he puts it back in his suitcase.

He snaps a couple pics when he’s done. There’s no way he’d post something with this hotel room as a background, but look at his hair. Perfect. His outfit. Impeccable. And there’s that Harrington smile.

There only seems to be one Uber driver in this town, but at least the guy was- Well, no, he wasn’t friendly. But he did help Steve carry his bags to the motel room. He knows the town too. Maybe Steve can pump him for the dirt on Robin and the store.

It’s a van than pulls up to the motel parking lot though, not the Oldsmobile from yesterday. Steve peers in the window, just in case he’s about to get kidnapped.

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters under his breath when a very familiar pair of brown eyes meet his. Long hair and tattoos. Leather jacket just like last night. Steve would almost rather walk. But he is dressed to threaten legal action. Probably best not to show up sweaty.

Steve opens the sliding door to the back. It’s full of an alarming amount of crap. Tools, and random metal parts of something. A car? Steve doesn’t know. Wood, a small plastic lawn chair, a lawnmower, an amp for some reason-

The guy pats the passenger’s seat. “Up here, big boy.”

Steve climbs in as smoothly as he can. Just because he humiliated himself last night doesn’t mean he has to do it again.

“I’m Eddie,” the guys says. “And you’re… Steve?” He reads off the phone in his hand. “I didn’t catch your name before.”

Steve could maybe pretend he doesn’t remember. Do the whole “I’m sorry have we met?” It can be devastating if you drop it on the right person. But he’s pretty sure all he’ll get if he tries it on this guy, Eddie, is a knowing smirk.

Fuck it. “Came on a little strong,” Steve says. “Sorry, I guess.”

Eddie pulls out of the parking lot. “No apology needed. You’re not that bad a kisser.”

Steve knows exactly what Eddie’s doing, but he can’t just not set the record straight. “I’m a good kisser.” Eddie shrugs, still with that teasing grin on his face. His eyes on his rearview. “I escaped from the Yakuza because of how good a kisser I am.”

Eddie shoots him a skeptical look. “If you say so.”

“I’m serious. I have literally been given a car because of how good a kisser I am. A really nice car.”

Eddie laughs. “I mean, if you want to prove it we could try again. See if I’m inspired to buy you breakfast.” He chucks Steve under the chin, condescending. Steve wants to eviscerate him. He also kind of wants to take him up on it, a surge of heat spearing through his gut. What is it about this fucking guy? He bats Eddie’s hand away.

“Excuse you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are we asking for permission before we grab each other now?”

“That was a one time grabbing,” Steve says. “Temporary insanity. So how about we both agree to keep our hands to ourselves from here on out.”

“Your loss.” Eddie flashes his teeth. He’s such an asshole. It’s really unfortunate how bad Steve wants to touch his dick.

There’s a closed sign on the door of the video store, and no lights on. It’s well past nine. This is no way to run a business. Steve knocks on the door, but the lights stay off.

He waits five minutes, ten, before giving up and heading down the street toward the diner. He’ll kill some time having breakfast, then try again. Chrissy’s at the counter in her perky little ponytail. He smiles when she gives him a blushy wiggle of her fingers, and takes a seat at the counter.

“Did you have a good time at the party?” she asks.

“Would have been better if you were there.” She giggles, handing him a menu. “I looked for you.”

“I had to close up.” She bites her lip, scrunches her nose. “I got there late.” She leans in across the counter and lowers her voice like she’s telling secrets. “I looked for you too.”

Steve wouldn’t mind the distraction. A no strings fling with someone like her. Someone who’d be sweet on his tongue. Soft in his arms. Not like Eddie. Eddie’s too-

Eddie pops up from behind the counter with a screwdriver in his mouth. Fucking hell. Is the guy a living jumpscare? Why is he everywhere Steve goes?

He has his hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail, and his jacket off. Tight Metallica tee that shows off the tattoos on his arms. Full sleeves of stark black ink that Steve doesn’t have time to pick apart before he’s making himself look down at the menu. He’s thinking about breakfast and not about rough fingers on his skin, a warm mouth wrapped around his- Nope. He’s not thinking about that.

“Flirt on your own time, Chris.” Steve looks up at the warmth in Eddie’s tone. It’s teasing, but without the edge he takes when he’s poking at Steve.

Chrissy rolls her eyes at him and smacks him on the shoulder. “Shut up, jerk. I’m not paying you to hassle me.”

“Where’s that replacement motor?” Eddie asks. She looks around, and snatches it up off the counter. He takes it, and holds on, her hand caught in his as he raises an eyebrow and says, “Be good.” They both look at Steve. He hopes they don’t think they’re being subtle.

Steve watches as they look back at each other, a whole conversation in the way Chrissy wrinkles her nose and Eddie gives his head a shake. They’re definitely fucking. So much for that distraction.

The store’s still closed when Steve gets back from the diner. This has to be deliberate. Is Robin avoiding him? Hoping he’ll go away? Joke’s on her. It’s not like he has anywhere else to go.

A bunch of kids are sitting on the steps of the store, arguing with each other about Minecraft or whatever kids like.

“Anyone know why they aren’t open?” Steve asks.

One of the kids, curly haired with a trucker hat shrugs. “We were wondering the same thing.”

“Maybe she’s sick,” a red headed girl offers.

“She seemed fine yesterday,” Steve says.

“Usually you’re not sick right up until you are, so-” The red head looks at Steve with a level of withering disdain only middle schoolers are capable of.

“What are you guys even doing here?” Steve says. “Don’t you have netflix?”

“Of course we have netflix,” a lanky, dark haired scarecrow of a boy says. He runs a close second on the withering disdain meter to Red Head.

A chorus of voices overlap each other.

“Robin has lots of stuff that’s not on netflix.”

“And she lets us play DND at the store.

“We’re making a movie.”

“What kind of movie?” Steve instantly regrets asking.

Five voices start clamoring. Steve gets about three words of it. One of the words is “Demogorgon,” which he’s pretty sure is not actually a word. A smaller boy with stick straight brown hair in a truly unfortunate bowl cut holds up several weird drawings that don’t help make anything clearer.

“Did you do the window?” Steve asks the kid, ignoring the rest of the useless non-information being yelled at him. He points at the poster for Ghostbusters. It’s one of the better ones.

“Yeah,” the kid says. “I’m Will.” He points at a signature in the corner of the poster. Steve’s having a hard time not looking at his haircut. He’s pretty sure it would qualify as child abuse.

Trucker Hat grabs the stack of pictures from Will’s hand and starts laying them out on the sidewalk. The other kids start yelling again, rearranging the order and calling each other stupid, uninspired, derivative…

“We still don’t even have a hero!”

“And who’s going to play Daisy?”

“Plus the third act and-”

“But the costume has to-”

“Guys,” a good looking, dark-skinned boy says, swinging a bat in front of him. “Come on. I can play the hero.”

“You’re not a hero, Lucas. You’re a shrimp,” Trucker Hat says.

“We already decided none of us would be the hero,” Scarecrow says.

“What about him?” Red Head asks.

Steve looks up from the pictures he’d been trying to puzzle through. It’s like a very confusing comic book with no words. “What?”

“Are you like, athletic?” Will says.

“He is pretty tall,” Scarecrow admits reluctantly.

“He’s obviously not busy.”

“Can you swing a bat?” Lucas asks.

Steve isn’t sure he likes where this is going, but- “Can I swing a bat.” Steve snorts. “I played polo against Prince William. And I won.”

“They don’t use a bat in polo,” Trucker Hat points out.

“Gimme the fucking-” Steve snatches the bat out of Lucas’ hand. He puts his handbag down and spins the bat around his wrist once to get a feel for it. Then swings at the closest thing to him. Which happens to be a mailbox. With a gnome sitting on top of it.

The gnome goes flying, and keeps flying.

“Holy shit,” Lucas says. The kids watch wide-eyed as the thing sails all the way down the block and across the street. Knocking through a window with the loud smash of glass shattering.

Oops.

But still. “I told you,” Steve says, flipping the bat up and catching it one handed.

“Jesus Christ.” Trucker Hat sounds a little bit impressed, and a little bit freaked out.

“That’s the police station,” Will says, sounding more freaked out than impressed.

A few cops burst of the building.

“Run for it,” Red Head says, taking off on her skateboard with a gaggle of bicycles in hot pursuit.

By the time the cops make it down the street Steve’s the only one there. Bat in hand.

“Fucking kids.”

#my working title is #hide your diamonds hide your exes #wip wednesday #my fic #my fic: schitt's creek au #steddie fic #steddie au

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brasideios · 10 months

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A Small Update

So my previously Amazon published books are now up on the new side-blog (@jpdoingwords) - if you feel like reading something other than my fanfic, you can now do that without putting money in a billionaires pocket.

The Good Spartan is also up (via Google docs) though I realised after the fact that I need to go through it to remove the html coding I put in for AO3. Oops! (I admit I posted this first l because I wanted to give it a cover 😆 small pleasures!)

Next I’m starting towards posting the fanfics/drabble that aren’t/isn't on AO3 (again, via Google Docs) because I’m far too nervous about the whole ‘feeding fics to AI to get endings’ thing to put them anywhere else.

There’s a lot - far more than I remembered - so it’ll take quite a while, but it feels cathartic to do it somehow? They’re a mixed bag of fandoms, themes and ships/characters, but hopefully someone will get pleasure out of them.

So busy busy this week. What I wouldn’t give to have a secretary to delegate to - if only I’d been granted my wish of being ‘a rich laby’ (b and d were hard for a 6 y’old, but she knew what was up in this world. No dreams of being a ballerina or astronaut for her. Just cash 😆).

Have a good week everyone 🤍

#behold the field in which i cultivate my vibes #jpdoingwords

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frozaru · 1 year

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Review: Soundcore VR P10

Greetings everyone! Here I'll be giving my honest thoughts on what I'd consider quite unique earbuds - the VR P10 from Soundcore. They're catered for gaming and have verified functionality with VR headsets such as Oculus Quest 2. Peak your interest? These can be found priced at £99/$99 via Soundcore's official website + Amazon directly, or in-person stores if you live in USA. Let's get started!

📦Unboxing Experience:

Pretty clean packaging imo with it's appealing design in addition to convinience. They also come with a decent amount of silicone ear tips which will suit many ears big or small (medium worked for me). Simply looked and felt premium all around, which gives me a great first impression. Good job so far!

🔎Appearence [next to Soundcore Life A2]/Comfort:

Though I'm not a fan of this "Airpod stem" trend, these make an exception for me with nice silver details, signature logo finish + 3 customisable lighting modes (breathing, lights on and battery saving/lights off respectively). Those lights can indicate helpful stuff such as solid purple for on/fully charged, blue for pairing or flashing red when very low. Case looks great with a shape akin of stones...can I say it's included dongle is pretty neat too? Okay ty! Moving on, ear tips themselves also felt comfortable enough with only fatigue after some hours which was usually when both buds were low anyway. Speaking of...

🔋Battery/Connectivity:

You'll be glad knowing that these earbuds have USB-C featured both on case for charging and a connector on the dongle. Also expect about 5/6 hours on buds (in 'battery saving mode') with an average 24 hours of battery life after giving them a full juice up. This is enough to get through 4 or more gaming sessions in my experience! In terms of speed, 10 minutes shall grant approx 1 hour of battery life for those clutch on-the-go moments.

Facts regarding this dongle btw...it's incredibly versatile featuring multi-platform support for PC, PlayStation, mobile and even Switch with lag-free playback. What's more, it allows Bluetooth audio from phone + received audio SIMULTANEOUSLY with Game and Talk (something I haven't come across before in other true wireless earbuds)! They can also be further compatible for Switch in docked mode or older devices with a USB to USB-C adapter (here's my recommendation). I've found the feature pretty useful for communicating on Discord or taking a phone call without much compromise.

🎵Sound Quality/App Features

From my experience of "default" aka Soundcore's signature (no super hearing or Bassup), it seemed clear with bass which gladly dosen't drown out the mids and highs. Highs may sound weaker but that's kind of justified as these are geared for subtle audio like footsteps or gunfire rather than instruments like violins and pianos. BUT as we get into Souncore's feature rich app, there's so many settings to tweak and fit your personal taste!

You've got a plethora of equaliser options + the ability to create custom ones as standard with their app. Acoustic (my fav as it brings everything up a notch), Electronic, Pop, you name it. Mentioned earlier is bassup which allows bringing in more for a stronger punch which bassheads may enjoy and super hearing that will make subtle noises more audible, perfect for a competitive edge.

Speaking of tastes, let's talk colours with 5 options being light purple, red, pink, blue or Violet. Heads up that lighting will effect battery life to varying degrees. Have multiple dongles? Great news as which ones in use can be selected directly from app! Very useful if you're someone who has a busy life (on the flip side though, Soundcore hasn't made things clear rn regarding where more can be purchased).

💭Are these worth the purchase? If you're looking for something with striking design, good sound for gaming in a small package and flexibility with software and hardware, absolutely Imo! Although I would personally like to maybe see slightly improved battery if Soundcore ever comes back to this concept in future. That's it for this review, tysm for getting here! Oh, and if you'd like to help me create better content or maybe obtain better equipment by donations, I've recently created a Ko-fi! It's completely optional but if you do, I'll be really grateful. Take care and live a good life!

🎴My Carrd

#review #technology #soundcore #honest thoughts #gaming #earbuds #6.3 #2023

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blog4trendsetters · 2 years

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TOP 7 BEST SCI FI TV SERIES TO WATCH ON AMAZON PRIME

1) SALVATION

SALVATION IS A SUSPENSE THRILLER THAT CENTERS ON LIAM COLE, AN MIT GRAD STUDENT, AND DARIUS TANZ, A TECH SUPERSTAR, WHO BRING PENTAGON OFFICIAL GRACE BARROWS A STAGGERING DISCOVERY - THAT AN ASTEROID IS JUST SIX MONTHS AWAY FROM COLLIDING WITH EARTH.

2) TALES FROM THE LOOP

THE TOWNSPEOPLE WHO LIVE ABOVE "THE LOOP," A MACHINE BUILT TO UNLOCK AND EXPLORE THE MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE, EXPERIENCE THINGS PREVIOUSLY CONSIGNED TO THE REALM OF SCIENCE FICTION.

3) THE 100

THE SACRIFICES AND HEARTBREAKING CHOICES OF THE 100 HAVE CHANGED EVERYONE FOREVER, BUT AS THEY SET OUT TO STAKE THEIR PLACE IN THIS DANGEROUS AND BEAUTIFUL NEW WORLD, THEY CONTINUE TO FACE PHYSICAL PERIL AND MORAL DILEMMAS AS THEY REFORGE SOCIETY. THE CHALLENGES MOUNT EVEN FURTHER IN SEASON THREE AS THEY NOT ONLY DETERMINE WHAT KIND OF LIVES THEY WILL BUILD, BUT WHAT IT WILL ULTIMATELY COST THEM.

4)EUREKA

EUREKA KICKS OFF ITS 4TH SEASON WITH THE INTRODUCTION OF NEW SERIES REGULAR JAMES CALLIS (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA) AS "DR. GRANT," A FORMER RESIDENT OF THE TOWN WHOSE UNEXPECTED RETURN IS CAUSE FOR SERIOUS ALARM AND, CONSIDERING HIS ROMANTIC INTEREST IN ALLISON BLAKE (SALLI RICHARDSON-WHITFIELD), SIGNIFICANT FRICTION WITH SHERIFF JACK CARTER (COLIN FERGUSON). NEW AND RETURNING FANS WON'T WANT TO MISS THE BIG CHANGES IN STORE FOR EVERYONE IN THE SMALL TOWN OF EUREKA AFTER A CATACLYSMIC SHIFT TURNS THEIR LIVES UPSIDE DOWN.

5) HUMANS

WHAT MAKES US HUMAN? CAN A SYNTHETIC CREATION EVER THINK AND FEEL THE WAY WE DO? AND IF SO, WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT? JOE HAWKINS MAKES THE DECISION TO INVEST IN THE LATEST MUST-HAVE GADGET FOR ANY BUSY FAMILY -A SYNTH.

6) THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE

IN A DYSTOPIAN AMERICA DOMINATED BY NAZI GERMANY AND IMPERIAL JAPAN, A YOUNG WOMAN DISCOVERS A MYSTERIOUS FILM THAT MAY HOLD THE KEY TO TOPPLING THE TOTALITARIAN REGIMES.

7) THE EXPANSE

IN THE 24TH CENTURY, A GROUP OF HUMANS UNTANGLE A VAST PLOT WHICH THREATENS THE SOLAR SYSTEM'S FRAGILE STATE OF DETENTE.

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ear-worthy · 2 years

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Intelligence Squared U.S. Wins Adweek’s Best Podcast Event In 2022

Bona fide debates are so rare today that they are often recognized when done and done exceedingly well. That’s why Adweek’s 2022 Podcast of the Year Awards, “Best Podcast Event” was awarded to nonprofit media organization Intelligence Squared U.S.’s recent episode debating the question “Is Cancel Culture Toxic?”

Adweek wrote, “Reaching more than 200,000 unique listeners, the live event brought together widely respected thinkers who didn’t simply pander to partisan allegiances, but endeavored to share their point of view in hopes of arriving at a clearer understanding of the phenomenon.”

The “Is Cancel Culture Toxic?” episode featured Russian Chess Grandmaster Garry Kasparov and Freethink co-founder Kmele Foster arguing Yes against Washington Post columnist Karen Attiah and Wellesley professor Erich Hatala Matthes arguing No. It is available to listen to at the Intelligence Squared website (which also features video of the taping) and on all podcast apps.

The award follows another milestone for Intelligence Squared U.S.: After years of airing as a periodic special on public radio, the show can now be heard weekly on public radio stations across the country (including WNYC every Saturday). Find more info on the new weekly radio show and a list of upcoming episodes here.

Episodes will come out every Friday in podcast apps and air soon after every week on a range of public radio stations across the country, with more being announced regularly.

The programming schedule for the next two months is as follows:

August 5: Should We Eat More Processed Foods?

August 12: Should We Indict Trump?

August 19: Is Cancel Culture Toxic?

August 26: Should We Do Away With the SAT?

September 2: Will AI Do More Harm than Good?

September 9: Activism in Healthcare

September 16: Can We Separate Art from the Artist?

September 23: Is Amazon Good for Small Business?

September 30: Will Dollar Dominance Last?

To mark the launch of the new weekly show for public radio, Intelligence Squared U.S. will take the stage live on August 31st at PRPD Public Radio Content Conference in New Orleans to debate a timely question: “Is public radio still relevant in a digital world?”

“In our increasingly divided world, Americans deserve a contempt-free zone for hearing both sides of the issues,” said Clea Conner, CEO of Intelligence Squared U.S. “We are thrilled to offer our program on a weekly basis to help expose public radio listeners to a range of ideas on some of the most important questions of our time.”

The program was made possible in part by a generous grant from the Laura and Gary Lauder Family Venture Philanthropy Fund, contributing up to $1.25 million over four years to initiate the Debate for Understanding program.

“The ability to consider and learn from each other’s perspectives is crucial for our democracy to function,” said Laura Lauder. “We are thrilled to support Intelligence Squared U.S.’s new program, Debate for Understanding, to enable all Americans to explore the most pressing issues of our time through debates conducted with civility and respect.”

#podcast #music #psychology #debate

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allthingsdarkanddirty · 9 days

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COVER REVEAL ALERT!

Comment below and let us know what you think of Barrett!

Preorder your copy below!

Barrett is the 4th book in the Broken Falls series by Laramie Briscoe

Available everywhere on July 26th!

Amazon ➜ https://amzn.to/4bwh21v

Laramie’s Website ➜ https://bit.ly/4bBeCOr

Kobo ➜ https://bit.ly/3yh5pMV

BN ➜ https://bit.ly/4bgSIjW

Apple ➜ https://apple.co/4dDg4lm

Google ➜ https://bit.ly/3yljsBi

Book Blurb:

Barrett Grant is wild AF with hips he knows how to use, and he’s also eleven years younger than me…

Gabby

Get Baked is the culmination of every dream I had as a twenty-something. A dream my ex-husband stomped like a bug beneath the tip of his expensive Italian leather shoe. When I left with nothing more than my dignity and a vintage stand mixer I found at a thrift store, all I wanted was to be happy. Promised myself I wouldn’t settle until that happened.

Years later, it’s finally happening in the small town of Broken Falls, WV. My dreams are coming true, my happiness is so close I can reach out and touch it.

But my secrets? They won’t stay buried forever. Especially where Barrett Grant is concerned.

Barrett

I messed up big time with Gabby, the hot, older, owner of Get Baked. I had no business swiping right if I wasn’t going to take our relationship and her feelings seriously. When I reacted badly to a waitress who questioned if she was my mother, I should’ve let it go.

But I didn’t, and now I can’t. Not when I miss the f*ck out of her, and lost a year off my life the night Get Baked was broken into. This time, I promise myself, I’ll give us the shot we should’ve gotten the first time.

If only she gives me a second chance.

Tropes Included

· small town

· blue collar

· second chance

· reverse age gap

· golden retriever hero

Barrett is book three in The Broken Falls Series: a series of interconnected standalones following a group of friends who have become family in small-town West Virginia, and the women who bring them to their knees. You do not have to read them in order, but each book builds upon the relationships of the last.

#BAPpr #LaramieBriscoe #preorder #smalltownromance #bluecollarromance #secondchanceromance #reverseagegap #goldenretrieverhero #contempromance

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anitacampbell-blog · 20 days

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Amazon, Progressive Offering Small Business Grant Funds

Amazon and Progressive Insurance have launched new funding rounds to support small businesses with up to $50,000 to help with their growth.

Read more: https://smallbiztrends.com/amazon-progressive-offering-small-business-grant-funds/

#Small Business Grants

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smallbiztrends · 1 month

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Amazon Unveils New Grants Program in Conjunction with Small Business Month

Amazon Business just announced its 2024 Small Business Grants program with up to $250,000 available.

Read more: https://smallbiztrends.com/amazon-2024-small-business-grants/

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riyajackky123 · 3 months

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Navigating the Diversity of AWS Users: Understanding the Target Demographics

In the dynamic realm of technology, businesses perpetually search for avant-garde solutions to propel their operations into the future. Amazon Web Services (AWS) has carved its niche as a frontrunner in cloud computing, offering a diverse toolkit and resource pool. The pivotal query remains: Who reaps the rewards of AWS? Let's dissect the expansive user base that can tap into the extensive offerings of AWS from The Best AWS Course in Bangalore.

1. Visionaries and Small Business Owners

Breaking Down Entry Barriers

For startups and small enterprises, AWS emerges as a transformative catalyst by eradicating the need for substantial initial investments in infrastructure. Its pay-as-you-go model empowers these entities to upscale resources in tandem with their growth trajectory, allowing them to focus on innovation rather than being bogged down by infrastructure complexities.

2. Corporate Giants and Extensive Organizations

Unleashing Corporate Potential

Enterprises grappling with colossal datasets and intricate computing requirements find AWS to be a steadfast ally. AWS's scalability and adaptability seamlessly align with the demands of large-scale operations, presenting a secure platform for diverse needs such as data storage, analytics, and machine learning.

3. Developers and IT Professionals

Empowering the Tech Ecosystem

AWS provides developers and IT professionals with an extensive suite of tools, services, and infrastructure. Through services like AWS Lambda, EC2, and S3, developers can channel their efforts into coding while AWS handles the underlying infrastructure intricacies, streamlining the development process.

If you want to learn more about AWS , I highly recommend the AWS online training because they offer certifications and job placement opportunities. You can find these services both online and offline.

4. Government and Public Sector Entities

Ensuring Security and Compliance

In the public sector, where security and compliance are non-negotiable, AWS stands out as a reliable collaborator. Offering an array of compliant services, AWS aids government agencies and public sector organizations in securely managing and storing sensitive data.

5. Educational and Research Institutions

Fostering Innovation in Academia

AWS extends support to educational institutions, providing a robust platform for research, application development, and cloud computing education. Initiatives like AWS Educate grant students and educators access to cloud resources, fostering a collaborative environment for learning and innovation.

6. Nonprofits and Humanitarian Organizations

Impactful Cloud Engagement

Nonprofit organizations leverage AWS to streamline their operations, reduce costs, and amplify their impact. Whether responding to disasters, fundraising, or conducting data analysis, AWS equips nonprofits with the tools needed to advance their mission.

Conclusion

In summation, AWS accommodates a vast and varied user base, transcending the boundaries of industries. Whether you're a startup on the brink of disruption, an enterprise navigating scalability, or a developer striving for efficiency, AWS stands as an indispensable player in your digital journey. As technology advances, AWS remains a pioneer in innovation, empowering diverse users to unlock their full potential in the digital age.

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digitamizer · 4 months

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E-commerce Marketplaces: The Impact on Small E-commerce Businesses

What is the impact of E-commerce Marketplaces on small e-commerce businesses?

In the ever-evolving panorama of e-commerce, the role of E-commerce Marketplaces cannot be overstated. These digital structures have not best changed how customers save however have additionally had a profound effect on small e-commerce businesses. This article delves into the multifaceted effect of marketplaces on small e-commerce firms, inspecting the benefits, challenges, and techniques vital for thriving on this aggressive atmosphere.

Introduction – E-commerce Marketplaces

The e-commerce industry has experienced a tremendous evolution when you consider its inception in the overdue twentieth century. It has transitioned from rudimentary online shops to a complex and interconnected ecosystem in which E-commerce Marketplaces play a critical role. These marketplaces, exemplified via enterprise giants like Amazon, eBay, and Alibaba, have revolutionized the way clients find out and buy products. This transformation has drastically affected small e-commerce groups, redefining their possibilities and demanding situations.

The Rise of E-commerce Marketplaces

E-commerce Marketplaces have become synonymous with e-commerce, providing purchasers with a comprehensive and handy buying enjoy. Among those, Amazon sticks out as an iconic example of a marketplace’s transformative strength. Originating as a web book shop in 1994, Amazon has grown right into a global e-commerce juggernaut that offers a mind-blowing array of merchandise, from books to electronics to groceries.

The appeal of marketplaces for consumers is clear they provide a one-prevent destination for absolutely any product, often followed by means of speedy shipping alternatives and reliable customer support. This unheard-of comfort has led many customers to prefer E-commerce Marketplaces over traditional brick-and-mortar stores and individual e-commerce websites.

Advantages of Selling on E-commerce Marketplaces for Small Businesses

For small e-commerce businesses, promoting on E-commerce Marketplacesnline marketplaces gives several compelling advantages

Instant Access to a Vast Customer Base

Marketplaces boast millions of lively users, granting small agencies on-the-spot exposure to a massive and diverse client base that could be hard to reach independently.

Credibility and Trust

Associating with famous E-Commerce marketplaces imparts credibility and belief to small corporations. Customers are extra inclined to make purchases through mounted structures.

Infrastructure and Resources

E-Commerce marketplaces regularly provide a collection of equipment and sources for organizations, which include price processing, order achievement, or even advertising and marketing offerings. These sources can appreciably lessen the operational burdens for small corporations.

Global Reach

Small companies can tap into global markets with relative ease, as marketplaces handle complexities like worldwide transport and charge processing.

Data and Analytics

E-Commerce marketplaces provide treasured statistics and analytics insights that could assist small organizations in refining their advertising marketing and product techniques. This statistics-pushed method can decorate choice-making and lead to a successful outcome.

Challenges Faced by Using Small E-commerce Businesses on E-Commerce Marketplaces

Despite the benefits, promoting on online marketplaces affords its personal set of challenges for small organizations

Increased Competition

The sheer extent of sellers on marketplaces can cause extreme opposition. Small businesses often find it tough to face out amid this crowded market.

Fee Structures

Marketplaces generally charge fees for listing merchandise and take a percentage of each sale. These prices can consume into earnings margins, necessitating cautious financial planning.

Limited Brand Control

Small organizations may additionally have constrained management over their emblem’s presentation on marketplaces, as they must adhere to the platform’s pointers and format. This could make it tough to distinguish and set up a unique logo identification.

Dependency

Relying completely on a marketplace for income may be unstable, as modifications in marketplace rules, algorithms, or prices can extensively affect a commercial enterprise’s visibility and profitability. Businesses might also emerge as susceptible to the decisions and whims of the market operator.

Customer Relationship Ownership

Marketplaces often keep manipulating purchaser records, proscribing small agencies’ potential to build direct relationships with their clients. This makes it hard to interact in customized advertising and remarketing efforts.

Strategies for Small E-commerce Businesses to Thrive on E-Commerce Marketplaces

Despite the demanding situations posed by way of online marketplaces, many small e-commerce businesses have thrived on those platforms. Here are a few techniques for accomplishing success

Differentiation

Find modern approaches to distinguish your products from the competition. This ought to involve presenting specific capabilities, bundling objects, or presenting remarkable customer service. Stand out by way of supplying fees that competitors cannot mirror without difficulty.

Optimize Product Listings

Invest time and effort in growing compelling product listings. High-exceptional pictures, designated descriptions, and persuasive replicas can enhance visibility and conversion rates.

Pricing Strategies

Carefully manipulate your pricing strategy to stay aggressive whilst preserving wholesome profit margins. Monitor competitors and adapt pricing as important.

Diversify Sales Channels

Do not rely entirely on one marketplace. Consider promoting on multiple platforms to unfold hazards and attain distinct purchaser segments. Each marketplace may additionally have its target market and advantages.

Build Your Brand

While you are in the marketplace, do not forget your brand identity. Create a strong internet site and establish a presence on social media platforms to build logo loyalty and cognizance.

Customer Service Excellence

Offer top-notch customer service to build wonderful evaluations and preserve robust popularity. Excellent customer service can be a big competitive benefit.

Leverage Data

Use data analytics to recognize purchaser conduct, monitor sales trends, and make knowledgeable selections about inventory, pricing, and advertising techniques. Data-driven insights can pressure commercial enterprises to increase.

Marketing Efforts

Invest in marketing both on and stale the marketplace platform to force visitors and income. Utilize advertising and marketing alternatives offered by way of the market and explore different advertising channels like social media and electronic mail advertising.

Explore Fulfillment Services

Consider the use of marketplace success services or partnering with logistics companies to streamline order success and make sure of green transport and shipping processes.

Conclusion

Online marketplaces have undeniably reshaped the e-commerce landscape. For small e-commerce groups, they represent a potent opportunity to reach an international target audience and leverage the infrastructure and customer base of set-up systems. However, the market environment isn’t without its demanding situations, along with extended opposition, charge systems, restricted logo manipulation, dependency, and consumer relationship possession.

The route to achievement for small organizations on marketplaces requires a strategic technique that encompasses differentiation, optimization, and a sturdy consciousness of customer support. By carefully navigating those demanding situations and opportunities, small e-commerce agencies cannot most effectively live to tell the tale however thrive within the age of online marketplaces. While marketplaces have altered the dynamics of the e-commerce enterprise, they have additionally created new avenues for increase and success for corporations of all sizes inclined to evolve and innovate.

Digital Marketing Services , SEO and E-Commerce Solutions in Delhi, India

Author – Farhanul Haque

This article is written by the Founder of Digitamizer who has been working in the e-Commerce Sector Since 2006 and is also a certified Digital Marketing Professional from IIT, Delhi, India.

#marketplace #onlinemarketplace #onlineshopping #e commerce

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drowningworms · 4 months

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I actually went to Gobblers Knob in Punxsutawney and was close enough to see the no shadow for myself before the drunk guys in top hats told us what they saw.

I experienced the whole frigid, boring, tedious, painful, boring, long, standing room only for 6 hours of physical hell, low rent, cheapass, tacky, corny, tawdry, obnoxious, fucking dry event for you.

It involved security pat downs for liquor on every man woman and child to keep out liquor. Weed was illegal by community consent thanks to Reagan. It was 10 degrees and dark in the dead of a Pennsylvania Winter. And there was absolutely no entertainment for hours till it got daylight. Then this local DJ comes on to entertain the out of towners. He's horrible.

Remember that we are the cash cow for this little group of local good old boys and their buddies. And for the entire town. And they treat us like shit. Just penned us up and hit us for cash money at every turn. This was 1998, so that wasn't unusual everyone outside major businesses required cash. I'm dead sure they have those little credit card scanners everywhere now. They milked us for everything they could think of.

And it was so fucking cold. You don't understand cold until you know standing huddled still in the dark cold. Most people never really experience cold. Insulation is really fucking good now. I overpaid so much when goose down jackets got sorta affordable. They were like miracles to me. I would have given anything for such a miraculous jacket then. I had to make do with layers of insulated flannels and long underwear. I did have true winter underwear from my Boy Scout days so I was a good bit less cold than my buddies who didn't know how to layer.

Most people only experience shoveling snow cold. Maybe skiing cold. A few hunting cold. (Real damn cold) And a mighty few who have lived in it for days just sitting around camping in tents with nice sleeping bags and a big fire to warm us. In teens or subzero temps. I have. You have to dig deep and layer well. And just accept being cold every single minute of your life outside of your sleeping bag.

So we were doing hunter cold. This was Western Pennsylvania. Everyone knew how to do hunter cold. My buddies were all suburban kids. I told them how to dress. A few listened.

That night we started at like 3am and drove 2 hours of dark Pennsylvania highway. Just darkness, trees, and sky. I can't remember if the stars were out. Something about those Appalachian Forest highways just are monotonous in a weird way. They are absolutely gorgeous. But they're so covered in deciduous trees on gentle mountains that everything looks the same like on Rt 80. That road is a hard one for truckers.

The constant flow of just changing contours covered in a static of waving green leaves for 1-2 hour intervals between truck stop interchanges and small towns that depend on that one Burger King to employ half the deserted depressed Dollar General ridden steel mill town.

And Sheetz. Sheetz was always a good choice. Every 2 hours along the entire highway. They set up shop in some small town, employ 30 people to make hot food to order and run a gas station for a pretty decent wage with benefits. Sheetz is one of the most decent employers out there. Predatory but decent and relatively generous about it all. It was a blessing and a lifeline to outside income for their little towns to keep new money coming into the local shopping mall or mechanic and their families. True trickle down economics works if the rich people spend their wealth in poor areas in poor businesses. I always tried to shop local when spending grant money even if Amazon or Firestone was cheaper/convenienter.

Convenienter is now a word. Take it as my gift to the world.

Anyway this monotonous optic flow of green static was bad as a passenger. You could only look outside for so long before you began having conversations with anyone about anything while shuffling the 10cds of shitty one hit wonders that were pretty bad. And I hated them all outside AC/DC.

As a driver it was hell. You NEEDED those Sheetz pitstops.

The monotony of the static flow outside was so monotonous yet you had to pay attention to these two little yellow lines surrounded by green static that moved with it all and you had to pay attention to in order to navigate the road. It was hell on the psyche. A loop of Appalachian road trip would break any insurgent.

Anyway we drove 2+ hours of this in snow. Thankfully it was in the dark. Always schedule Appalachian road trips for night. (Except in the Appalachian Autumn. Oh. My. God. My heaven is filled with autumn leaves.)

The darkness concealed the green static.

2+ hours of my best friends in the world talking shit to AC/DC and Ace of Base or whatever was the thing.

Those road trips are always fun. I strongly suggest. Even if you have to brave the Appalachian Static.

Anyway we arrive at Punxsutawney. It is in the middle of nowhere. Just another isolated abandoned steel town. They have a bit of a real downtown that most of these towns utterly lack. Often it's a gas station and a Dollar General and a bunch of run down houses with a school 40 minutes away it shares with the other rundown towns.

But Punxsutawney has a nice little town of happy people because of Phil and our fascination with this thing.

So of course there is not parking for 30,000 people. In a town of 5,000. So they rope off some field frozen solid and park us all charging Disney parking fees.

They subcontract school buses to haul people from the parking lot to the main event. The bus drivers are the first line of defense against alcohol and drugs.

Security is the second. Compete with pat downs and local cops along with PA Troopers with drug dogs and quotas to meet. No spoiling the fun with chemical enhancement!

Then you walk for fucking ever. Slowly. Going to the Knob.

It is deadly cold. And it begins to dawn on you what you are in for in this grassy pen with nothing but a porta potty or two for entertainment.

Look at all that fun!

This was before phones people. My friends and I were super studious and none of us owned any kind of video game. No handheld games. Maybe you thought to bring a newspaper or book. I think I brought a book. I'm sure at least one of them brought engineering notes to study. Most just talk and bitch about the cold.

Cold in the dark is different from cold in the light. It is so much deeper without the solar radiation slightly warming your surface and your spirits.

Then the dawn brings light and a little warmth and hope.

Then the dawn brings the DJ.

Small town DJs are interesting critters. They are small town famous and often they are unique personalities that can be really entertaining. At least between songs and commercials. Some of them are pretty amazing like Nipsey, Jen, and Earl in Harrisburg/Hershey/Lancaster/Lebanon area back when it was even more podunk backwater.

It was 1998 and this guy showed up.

So this small town guy is used to entertaining local venues with his shtick that everyone knows and loves with his slightly out of date look and inside local jokes.

Today he has 2 hours of just him on a stage in front of 30,000 pissed off college students who were expecting a lot more entertainment and maybe some food or drinks and tired & grumpy rural folk hoping to get in a little fun and excitement before going to work. At least half the crowd had found a way to sneak in a flask or something. So people were unruly.

And we just watch the poor guy spend 2 hours fighting for his life up there feeling bad for him trying to entertain us while hosting his fun little morning show for his listeners who are probably loving it all.

He got heckled. Badly. This was 25 years ago and we weren't very nice.

After 2 hours of this entertainment. The main event started.

My heroes arrived on the scene.

They have been partying all night long. In a nice warm place with warm food, comfy chairs/couches, running water, and a ton of alcohol. They are all drunk as skunks. The all come up on stage, wave and whip up the crowd, pull out their buddy, give him some scritches and lift him up to the crowd like he's the new Lion King, and then examine his shadow, make their proclamation, smile and wave, go back to their party, and count their money.

This is the highlight of the entire event. The peak of excitement. The best it got for the whole day.

Then they shoved the DJ back on stage, the national media and anyone with connections left, and the rest of us were kept penned up for another hour or 2 till it was our turn to take a school bus back to our frozen car, a 2+ hour drive through winter highways, and afternoon classes.

It was so much fun.

#Most situations are what you make of them #We could have spent the time angry cold and bored #But instead we bullshitted about and discussed the important things 22 year old men talk about #and checked out all the hotties #Hey I wasn't married then #It was fun to remember all of this stuff #Funny how boring our fun can be #But you need community to make boring shit fun

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prettyhighforawhiteguyblog · 4 months

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I actually went to Gobblers Knob in Punxsutawney and was close enough to see the no shadow for myself before the drunk guys in top hats told us what they saw.

So we were doing hunter cold. This was Western Pennsylvania. Everyone knew how to do hunter cold. My buddies were all suburban kids. I told them how to dress. A few listened.

Convenienter is now a word. Take it as my gift to the world.

As a driver it was hell. You NEEDED those Sheetz pitstops.

The darkness concealed the green static.

2+ hours of my best friends in the world talking shit to AC/DC and Ace of Base or whatever was the thing.

Those road trips are always fun. I strongly suggest. Even if you have to brave the Appalachian Static.

But Punxsutawney has a nice little town of happy people because of Phil and our fascination with this thing.

So of course there is not parking for 30,000 people. In a town of 5,000. So they rope off some field frozen solid and park us all charging Disney parking fees.

They subcontract school buses to haul people from the parking lot to the main event. The bus drivers are the first line of defense against alcohol and drugs.

Security is the second. Compete with pat downs and local cops along with PA Troopers with drug dogs and quotas to meet. No spoiling the fun with chemical enhancement!

Then you walk for fucking ever. Slowly. Going to the Knob.

It is deadly cold. And it begins to dawn on you what you are in for in this grassy pen with nothing but a porta potty or two for entertainment.

Look at all that fun!

Cold in the dark is different from cold in the light. It is so much deeper without the solar radiation slightly warming your surface and your spirits.

Then the dawn brings light and a little warmth and hope.

Then the dawn brings the DJ.

It was 1998 and this guy showed up.

So this small town guy is used to entertaining local venues with his shtick that everyone knows and loves with his slightly out of date look and inside local jokes.

He got heckled. Badly. This was 25 years ago and we weren't very nice.

After 2 hours of this entertainment. The main event started.

My heroes arrived on the scene.

This is the highlight of the entire event. The peak of excitement. The best it got for the whole day.

It was so much fun.

#ph4wg original #ph4wg #“Frankly I had enjoyed the war”#It's all about who you are there with and what you make of the situation #We could have spent the entire time angry #Instead we told stories and jokes and checked out the hotties #now that i have my spook's attention...#because I wrote the word “insurgent”#You must be the new one #They reassigned the other after I started radicalizing them.#Good luck #Peace and love to you #You should get a different job instead of fucking up people for trying to save America from fascism and White supremacy

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