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mindctrlaltdel · 3 years

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Random Reviews: Mulholland Drive

This movie is BASIC INSTINCT, written and directed by Salvador Dali.

***

Recently, I watched MULHOLLAND DRIVE for the first time for my friend Shawn Eastridge's podcast, MISSING FRAMES (www.thenerdparty.com/missingframes/episode-103-mulholland-drive).

As I watched this odd, funny, disturbing, interesting flick, I took the following notes. Is it, as some critics say, the BEST FILM OF THE 21ST CENTURY? Here's an inside look at my viewing experience as I mulled over MULHOLLAND DRIVE...

[PRESS PLAY]

I love how the first five minutes is basically a bad late 90's Gap commercial, all swing dancing, no point...

The Mulholland Drive sign is calling to us. The street, Mulholland Drive, is Bali Hai for perverts.

Justin Theroux gets top billing over Naomi Watts??

I gotta admit, I saw one of the movie's original posters and thought "Naomi Watts AND the lady from the first MEN IN BLACK is in this? It's the triumphant return of Linda Fiorentino." When I DIDN'T see her name in the opening credits, I was disappointed. She's NO Linda Fiorentino... for this role, she's even better. AND she's a countess (seriously, look it up). Oh, and Robert Forster shows up for 10 minutes.

Not-Linda Fiorentino has some hustle in her for someone who just survived a horrible head on collision.

I like how the street signs kind of tell us where we are and what kind of world we're in. It's like a surreal, dramatic version of that Californians SNL sketch.

You mean to tell me that the red-headed older woman didn't see not-Linda Fiorentino under her kitchen table? UnbeLIEVable.

Holy crap, the wide-eyed guy in Winky's - he plays Jimmy Barrett, the comedian in MAD MEN... and MAD MEN is an interesting connection here, because everyone talks in this measured, paced deliberate way throughout that series, kind of similar to how the characters usually speak in the David Lynch productions I've seen... When I started watching MAD MEN, I thought the actors were purposely directed to speak that way, so everything to seem more "real" as opposed to that fast-talking, old-Hollywood style that you'd expect to see from outspoken, big idea-types. I imagined that Matt Weiner wanted people to seem - at least to modern audiences - the way people actually were - particularly, the inhabitants of the intelligent and cerebral world of ad men, working behind the scenes, on the fringes of show business. But then Jimmy Barrett, an old-timey comedian ALSO spoke that way. And it just didn't seem authentic to me. Anyway, back to THIS movie...

OH and that dingy woman behind the dumpster! She's like if Captain Howdy moved out West and got all LA on us. Is that Cloris Leachman covered in mud? And the music... for some reason, there's nothing scarier than the sound of an HVAC vent on full blast. (According to this article, www.vulture.com/2014/10/mulholland-drives-evil-hobo-breaks-her-silencio.html,the actress who played Evil Hobo #1 said of her audition process: "I don’t mean to brag, but David Lynch said he was looking for the most incredible face he could find. I actually met him at a Twin Peaks party, and he was like, 'Look at that face!'")

I love the X-Files-style synth strings that play over Naomi Watts (Betty) and gram-gram (Irene) as they walk through the hotel, I mean the airport... Aw, these two old people love Betty. What a different life she's living than that countess who's not Linda Fiorentino who's squatting in that redhead's apartment that Betty's about to move into.

Even then, Naomi had a good American accent. (Although I learned she's technically British but split her time between England and Australia), those Australians are great at spitting out neutral American sounds. But once I learned that Betty is supposed to be Canadian, I was very disappointed. It's not THAT authentic. Where are her "Aboots"? And she didn't put maple syrup on anything in this whole movie.

Oh my God, are Irene and her husband, riding in this towncar, ALSO going to get held up, like not-Linda Fiorentino at the beginning of the movie? Oh okay, they're not. We just followed them for no reason other than to see that they look happier than an old couple in a Cialis commercial. I guess meeting Betty really improved their sex life or something.

Coco - of course she's a fading hollywood starlet... AHHH, Coco is played by Ann Miller - good for her. She's basically that kooky old landlady from SEINFELD, the one who worked with the Three Stooges that Kramer met when he went to LA. Look at all these connections!

"Prize-fighting kangaroo who shits all over the courtyard" - do you think Naomi Watts is going to come out and say, "as an Australian, I was actually offended by this line, but I was scared into silence by that power-hungry monster, David Lynch."

The countess - who now goes by "Rita" - does kind of look like Rita Hayworth. I like the connections to old Hollywood and to noirs and how it's all wrapped together. Rita Hayworth is also a redhead, like Betty's aunt. She's of Spanish descent as well... and the actress playing Rita in this movie is of Mexican descent... Connections, connections.

I love that this casting session is basically run by a deep state shadow organization with a weird waiter in a red blazer... This is how Disney cast WandaVision.

HAHAHAH "That is one of the finest espressos in the world sir!" - this is DEFINITELY how Disney casts their movies. And Justin Theroux is the only man with integrity in this room! Does anyone have any class in this town!? They don't even validate his parking.

This is my favorite movie about making movies since BOWFINGER. And I may not be lying. And somehow less weird than THE ARTIST.

Is everyone gonna start killing each other over Ed's famous black book? This is oddly funny.

"Something bit me bad!" This incredibly long fight scene between the blond guy and secretary... it reminds me of the Uma Thurman/Daryl Hannah trailer fight in KILL BILL VOL. 2 but with less snakes.

These closeups of lingering looks on Rita's cash-filled purse are great... She's pulling wads of cash out of that purse one at a time, like Leslie Nielsen pulling eggs out of that blond lady in AIRPLANE!

I want to know what direction David Lynch gave that braless woman who's following the blond assassin around. It's like she's doing an acting exercise... like you know, when you're told to fill the space... "walk around the room, and clear your head. And now you're walking really fast. And now you're slow. NOW, imagine what it would be like to walk with your nose as the furthest point in front of you. Lead with your nose..." And David Lynch did that and told the braless woman to lead with her chest.

Justin Theroux is basically Robert Downey Jr.'s character from BOWFINGER, except NOW, he's the protagonist.

Betty is loving Rita's amnesia a bit too much. If this were my life, Rita would be the most interesting thing to happen to me too. Hell, if I was from Ontario, getting off at LAX would rock my world.

When Justin Theroux enters his glass-walled home to find his wife with another man, well... Justin Theroux may never star in something like HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN, but I can definitely picture him in YUPPIE WITH A GOLF CLUB.

That slinky theme song playing in Justin Theroux's/Laraine's house is a song that I actually listen to in my tiki, lounge playlist - to give you a hint of my music tastes. What I listen to for fun, Billy Ray Cyrus puts on to drown out his love-making.

By the way, BILLY RAY CYRUS!!! WHAT? Is this how Miley was conceived??? I think yes.

Pink paint in a jewelry box! This is much better than the usual throwing-all-his-belongings-out-a-second-story-apartment-window-scene that happens in every other movie.

I wouldn't be THAT excited if I learned MY name was Diane Selwin. BUT the sexxxual tension with the waitress Diane at the diner is palpable!

So, not-Linda Fiorentino has amnesia. How does she know that answering machine is NOT her voice!?

Justin Theroux/Adam Kesher's wife is very aggressive with the large man who's so dedicated to finding Adam Kesher that he keeps calling Adam's name in vain like the secretary in my doctor's office.

I watched this movie in pieces, the first half late at night. The second half the next morning. In between, while sleeping, I had a dream where Betty and Rita were looking over a map and any time one of their hands brushed over another, their hands would turn gold. As if this was a stylistic choice made by the filmmaker directing my dream to show that there's some kind of deeper relationship between these two women. So I've started dreaming in Lynch.

I like how this film is so utterly connected to not only Lynch's subconscious, but the audience's as well. Lynch is TAPPED IN. I don't always love when a film goes all in with a surreal style, because sometimes that's just a cover for something lacking in the storytelling department. But I do feel there's more to it here, in MULHOLLAND DRIVE.

The hooded woman, Louise... I feel like I've run into her on the streets of New York. A Louise will ALWAYS find a way to give you a portent of doom that ruins your day. Friggin’ Louise.

This movie is so moody, you really have to be in the mood to watch it.

There's something magical and prophetic about the cowboy, like he's the seer that the old general sees on the eve of battle... Also, I love how the lead female role in Justin Theroux's movie is his sword of destiny. There's a glitz and gleam and nostalgia to Old Hollywood that naturally gives this movie, set in "modern" Hollywood," a total fantasy vibe.

Hahaha that "You're still here?" scene rehearsal between Betty and Rita is an excellent transition.

James Karen - the real estate guy from POLTERGEIST - is handling casting! "He moved the headshots but he didn't cast the bodies!!"

The casting direction: "Don't play it for real until it gets real." It's interesting how the characters, who work in the "business," seem to control their reality. Betty seems unsure of where the scene is going, then she gets into it. And it really speaks to her conversion from a bright-eyed new arrival to someone who surrenders to the darker impulses of the city.

HEAVY BREATHING.

Ugh friggin' Bob...

I love how Lynnie, the casting director, pulls the rug out from under that scene. There's always a jaded casting person who totally wrecks any good feelings about every audition. It's a thing.

David Lynch uses nostalgia and a latent love for Hollywood to draw the characters (and us) into his world and then subverts our expectations. A lot.

Why is the screen test just a lip-synching contest? ...I think it feeds into the nostalgia element for the movie at large but it seems like a waste of studio resources here. Early-aughties Hollywood spending, amirite?

Rita's reaction to finding the body is played very much like the reaction a character would have in an older film... The horror! The fear! The silent gaping terror while possessed with the inability to scream. I was watching the original KING KONG before this (which is may be a sign from the universe that I had to watch this Naomi Watts vehicle, as she starred in the remake), and specifically remember the scene where the director Carl Denham is coaching Ann Darrow/Fay Wray on how to act in a horror film - "now look up, and you see it, you see it in all its horror. And your jaw drops and you try to scream but you're so frozen in terror that you can't!" - I imagine that's what Lynch is doing to not-Linda Fiorentino off-camera as they filmed this scene.

Uh-oh, Rita is single-white femal'ing Betty now... She doesn't have a personality of her own, so she's going to take Betty's.... And now we're just getting NUDE with each other. This erotic thriller immediately turned from skintillating to Skinemax.

"I'm in love with you" - is Betty just saying that to convince herself? It feels more lusty than real. Betty's so bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Rita is gonna chew her up and spit her out!

I like the shot when they're sleeping together and, as they rest, their faces overlap thanks to the perspective of the framing. How much of the same person are they becoming? Where does one personality start and the other end?

The weird 2am theater. How'd Rita and Betty find this place? I love how this pop-up slam-poetry reading in this opera house is as terrifying to Rita and Betty as finding the dead body.

So Betty starts convulsing in her seat and then the poet disappears in a kind of old-style, cinematic I'm disappearing effect. I dig it.

Wait... is this a mysterious, magical show that just appears in LA, like Hamunaptra, the City of the Dead, that town in THE MUMMY that only shows up at sunrise on the third day or something like that? Or is this just a poorly attended Spanish-language talent show that could only afford to book this theater at 2am on a Thursday?

I love that Betty and Rita are tearing up over Rebekah Del Rio's performance (Rebekah Del Rio is a real person, by the way). Then, Rebekah faints as her voice keeps singing - is NOTHING real? Has Betty totally given into this weird world to the point that she doesn't really know what's authentic and what's fake anymore OR was Betty fake before she got to LA so it was easy for her to get acclimated.

This movie is like THE MATRIX, from the perspective of characters who only took the blue pill and didn't look back.

OOOH, Betty has the box and Rita has the key! But the box is empty except maybe its the Gom Jabbar pain-box from DUNE. Is David Lynch using MULHOLLAND DRIVE as an excuse to make good on his promise to produce a good version of DUNE.

WAIT A SECOND, the cowboy knows the dead girl? Does this even matter?

Now, wait ANOTHER second. Is Betty performing or DREAMING when she's Diane or is something else going one??

What's the BLUE KEY doing there?

"Two Detectives"??? Is she talking about Betty and Rita OR Robert Forster and the pudgy guy? OR someone else entirely - the two guy's from Winky's???

The movie became more interesting the moment the perspective shifted to "Diane" and "Camilla." When that happened, Naomi Watts really amped up her performance... reaching a level of intensity we hadn't seen since Betty's audition... it does take 2 hours to reach that point.... But then, when Betty and Rita are topless on the couch, I couldn't tell who they were supposed to be until Rita/Camilla called her "Diane."

Wait, now Rita's acting?? OH, so Rita was an actress? And Diane wasn't? Or Betty looks exactly like Diane?

The weird shifts in focus. The sad masturbating. This is the most depressing soft-core ever made!

Did Betty get killed and have amnesia too?

They take a shortcut to Eddie's house which looks EXACTLY like where Rita/Camilla was taken at the beginning of the movie by the hitmen in the towncar before that wild accident with those teenagers made her life weirder... OR less weird. You be the judge.

IS this a flashback or the future. Eddie and Camilla are having an affair?

MY MOTHER? COCO - what's real and what isn't????

The jitterbug competition.... Diane/Naomi wanted the lead so bad, Camilla got the part but in Mulholland Drive, Naomi is the star.

Then, Camilla is kissing that other blond actress who Betty watched screen test...

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is just David Lynch telling us that LA is a place for lust and jealousy and no matter what, purity gets ruined.

WHAT, the blond waitress is BETTY? And Diane hires the blond guy, who's officially labeled as a hitman.

Diane is also from Canada...

Are Diane and Betty just different versions of the same people in nearby parallel universes? I certainly HOPE so. This is too much insanity for ONE universe to handle.

The blue key will be found where the blond guy told Diane. Okay, that makes sense. But if this were to mirror real life, the key was in her hand the WHOLE time!

OH, and hobo-Cloris Leachman comes back... AND she's holding the blue box/Gom Jabbar... WHY the hell did those two old people wander out of that paper bag??? Do they represent longstanding guilt? Seems like it. Because they've just crept into Diane's apartment.

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is almost silly to the point of pretentiousness at points - at least with the last word to be uttered on screen - "silencio." That said, it does evoke the HAMLET line: "And the rest is silence," so THAT's poetic.

Sadly, Robert Forster was barely in this movie...

Oh, and Lee Grant played Louise - the old-Hollywood connections keep coming!

I can't believe this movie was intended to be a pilot?

***

Now, some final notes:

On the swapping of characters and relationships in the last 30 minutes -- my first thought was that Betty/Diane and Rita/Camilla look similar and/or they're connected by a parallel universe, and the diner is like the central hub between worlds, and hobo-Cloris Leachman is the gatekeeper between the two worlds... I buy the "dream world" explanation that some critics espouse, that's something I considered myself as I watched. But I'm not sure I believed Betty is Diane's dream version of herself. Also, I think David Lynch has a feeling about how everything fits together, yet I don't know if he's even settled on an explanation for everything. He just trusted his subconscious and he's so confident in his latent abilities, that we trust him to show us everything we need to see and take us everywhere we need to go.

I enjoy how it's a surrealist answer to SUNSET BOULEVARD. I hope in 2050, someone makes "The 405" really tying all these movies and Los Angeles roads together.

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is weird but good. Still, I don't know if, to me, it's more weird than good. It's also funny. But is it funny because it's weird or because it's actually, genuinely funny? Are these questions David Lynch actually wants me to ask or does he make it weird on impulse to cover for the fact that the film is simply just weird and based entirely on impulse? MULHOLLAND DRIVE is almost like a parody of a film noir, made by an inter-dimensional alien life-form who studied a bunch of movies from the 40's through the 90's but doesn't have a full grasp on human behavior, and DESPITE THAT, it's more of an emotional experience than a logical one. It's somewhere in between. It's self-indulgent in a way but also very giving. It's a paradox wrapped in an oxymoron wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a coffee-stained napkin covered in cigarette ash locked in a small, blue box.

***

Summing it up: I don't think there's a world where this movie would get a perfect score from me. Because ultimately, for all it's interesting and exciting moments, it's more of a passion project for David Lynch than a piece of entertainment for the audience, no matter how entertaining it may be. To me, it's a vision board more than it is a complete film. And yet, it IS a complete EXPERIENCE. And there's nothing wrong with that.

All of that said, I know David Lynch doesn't really like to give viewers a clear cut, traditional narrative. So, I had a feeling the mystery was just that, a mystery. Or even moreso, the FEELING of a mystery. It's not about where we're going, it's about the journey to the destination. And while the general atmosphere is moody and evocative and often powerful, MULHOLLAND DRIVE plays more like a 2.5 hour piece of music than a cohesive narrative. Maybe that's the best thing about it.

In the distant future, when our way of speaking has become as archaic as the words of Shakespeare are to us, it's the feeling and emotions and images of movies like MULHOLLAND DRIVE that will still have a timeless impact on the future audiences who view them.

#Random Reviews #movie review #review #Mulholland Drive #David Lynch #Missing Frames #Twin Peaks #Naomi Watts #Laura Harring #Ann Miller #Justin Theroux #Dune #existential #surreal

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elizadoolittlethings · 5 years

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MG - The Man Behind The Genius

(via Get Ready to Love Mark Gatiss)

“Can we just sit here and watch this Spider-Man cartoon?” Mark Gatiss smiles slyly but it’s not clear if he’s completely kidding. We’re sitting on a couch in The Museum of the Moving Image in Queens, New York where a small retro-TV is playing an appropriately retro episode of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. “I love cartoons,” Gatiss tells me. “Did you ever see the old Star Trek cartoon? It’s brilliant. It’s basically like season four.”

The guy sitting next to me might look like Mycroft Holmes, but he barely sounds like him at all. This guy is softer, more childlike, more down to talk about whatever, so long as those things are James Bond, Sherlock Holmes, Doctor Who, superheroes, Star Trek… In short, if you meet Mark Gatiss, you want to be best friends with him instantly.

For the uninitiated: Mark Gatiss is the co-creator (with Steven Moffat) of Sherlock. He’s also an actor IN Sherlock as Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock’s snippy, brilliant older brother. He’s written for Doctor Who numerous times, including last season’s “Robots of Sherwood,” as well as the classic Dickens 2005 episode “The Unquiet Dead.” He’s got a recurring role on Game of Thrones as Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank, but has roots in the famous British comedy The League of Gentlemen. In short: he’s done some things that are beyond impressive.

Our chat is talking place two hours ahead of The Museum of the Moving Image’s special screening of the Doctor Who episode “Sleep No More,” which is the one Mark wrote for this season. And yes, I can call him Mark, because he told me to. Glancing over at my open-notebook, full of my chicken-scratch questions, he spies the word “Gatiss,” at the top of the page complete with a frantic double underline. “Don’t say ‘Moffat’ or ‘Gatiss,’” he coos. “Say ‘Mark.’”

To say Mark Gatiss is disarming would be an understatement similar to saying Sherlock Holmes is smart. It’s not that Mark is disarming, it’s like you and he have been exchanging dog-eared paperbacks for years and this conversation about the animated Star Trek from the 70s is old hat. After we talk about how great the writing is on that cartoon Trek, I ask him if he’d ever want to write for Star Trek.

“The new series?!!“I love Star Trek, so yeah, I wouldn’t say no. Simon Pegg’s writing the new one [Star Trek Beyond]. So yeah. You never know!”

Is there anything else—any other established universe—Mark Gatiss would like to write for other than Star Trek?

“Nooo…No. I want to do something new. But it’s so hard to get it off the ground. I’ve said this many times, and it’s absolutely true. That there is a reason why people revisit brands that are so familiar; it’s because they’re so familiar! And it’s getting harder and harder to try and convince people to take a punt at something new. So, that is absolutely vital. Otherwise, there’s no blood in it—and I say this knowing that I’m associated with two of the biggest reboots in history—and people will always revisit Sherlock Holmes. And I think that now that Doctor Who has really returned after its absence, Doctor Who is imperishable. It will probably stop again one day and then come back again, because that’s what it does. Like anything. But, I would love to do something that people look back on fondly, because it was a brand new thing. But it’s terribly difficult—A. to think of it! B. To get it off the ground. What is the new thing! Sherlock Holmes himself said there is nothing new under the sun!”

What if Steven Moffat left Doctor Who? Would Mark still write for Doctor Who?

“Of course I’d still write for Doctor Who! If they’d have me! It’s a continuing honor and thrill! I would say that unlike Russell [Davies] saying ‘that’s me, done,’ I think that if Steven were to leave, he’d still come back after a few years and do another one. Because he loves it. I mean, Russell loves it too! But, I think Russell saw it as his take on it and that was it. Which is a very grown-up way of moving on. But I can’t resist the urge.”

When you’re hanging with Mark Gatiss, who wants to be a grown up anyway?

Would Mark want to be the showrunner of Doctor Who if Steven Moffat left?

“The truth is I know how incredibly demanding it is. And one of things that makes it very difficult to see is the sort of casual attacks Steven has had to put up with over the past few years. It’s incredibly hard work and they care so much. It’s a 24 hour job. And when people say ‘why can’t you make more episodes!?’ I mean, the episode we’re watching tonight: I was sent the final effect shot the day before I left for New York. That episode is just complete and it’s on this Saturday. There are so many things to consider. But to answer your question, I know how hugely demanding [showrunning] is, but also how hugely rewarding it would be. It’s a huge, life-changing decision. I’m an actor and a writer. I couldn’t act if I did it. Because I wouldn’t have time. The only thing I could act in would possibly be Doctor Who. WAIT A MINUTE! I’ll DO IT!”

At this, Mark begins giggling like a madman, throwing his head back and repeating “I’ll do it! This will effect my whole life? HA HA HA HA! I’LL DO IT!!”

The comedian, the sketch-comedy writer version of Mark Gatiss has emerged! Fittingly, we switch our conversation to the importance of humor in his writing. How and why is he just so damn funny? Is Doctor Who and Sherlock nothing without humor?

“Humor is fundamental. I couldn’t agree with you more. There’s a fundamental misunderstanding of why we love these shows. Essentially from slightly humorless people who thinks it needs to be po-faced all the time. The man who created the Daleks—Terry Nation—was Tony Hancok’s writer. He was a very, very funny man who could also write great science fiction. That’s what Russell is. That’s what Steven is. What I am. Lots of people. Humor is bound-up in the DNA of [Doctor Who]. ‘Robots of Sherwood,’ for instance, is a straightforward romp. But, you should no more criticize a show for being too funny—what’s wrong with too funny, anyway? You hear that a lot. Someone says ‘it’s too funny.’ WHAT? Too funny? Would your prefer it was moderately funny? I’d go for much too funny any day. That doesn’t mean you’re messing with the format, that you’re spoiling it. And if you look back at the history of the show, that’s what it’s always been at its best. It doesn’t get much grimmer than “Genesis of the Daleks.” But of course there’s humor. Of course there is. It might be pitch black, but it’s there. And sometimes the level is pitched one way and sometimes the other. But to me, it’s absolutely quintessential to Doctor Who, it’s a fun show.”

Though I would have loved to talk to Mark for hours only about Sherlock Holmes and his favorite stories and which movies are his personally, secret preferences, I decide that since we’re already best friends, we’ve had that conversation in some alternate world. Instead, I’m interested in continuity. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle flippantly didn’t care about continuity. Does Mark Gatiss care about continuity?

“Because we live in such an overly-examined age, in which everything is easily consumed and spat-out, everything has taken on a ludicrous level of importance. If Conan Doyle hadn’t had his famously lax attitude toward continuity, we wouldn’t be able to have the fun we have. From speculating on the strange fact that Professor Moriarty and his brother have the same Christian name, that Watson’s war-wound moves about, that Mary calls John “James”! I’m sure people did write to [Doyle] and complain, because there were always fans! But the thing is, it’s fine. My attitude is this: get it right if you can because if you’re perversely getting it wrong, it looks careless. But. Absolutely frankly: if someone came up with an idea for Doctor Who that flatly contradicted something that happened in 1967, fuck it. Of course fuck it! Someone once said to me ‘six months ago is ancient history,’ in terms of television. That’s true, because you’re talking about the general audience and not the fan audience. AND if you flatly contradicted something that happened in 1967, the fans would find a way of explaining it. I remember—in talking about Star Trek—someone telling me that reason William Shatner has so much eye shadow on in “Journey to Babel”—more than ever—is because Star Fleet officers are allowed to wear a certain amount of make-up during formal ceremonies! WHAT?!! I mean you don’t have to explain it! The Master was a snake at one point!”

Looking smooth, and talking smooth are something Mark Gatiss knows how to do, and that’s partially because he’s a big Bond fan. Could secret government mastermind Mycroft exist in the Bond universe?

“He does exist in the Bond universe! We made an explicit reference. In ‘His Last Vow,’ I say ‘As my esteemed colleague is fond of pointing out, what the country needs sometimes is a blunt instrument. Which is M! From the books! And of course I’d love to write a Bond film. It’s the one that’s eluded me. Me and Steven we both wanted to do Bond. I did From Russian With Love on radio!”

As our time comes creeping up on us, and the Spider-Man cartoon winds down, I ask Mark if there’s a world for a gay Bond? What about a straight Sherlock? The last one gets a guttural laugh from him, and we launch into the territory of diversity among established characters and fandoms.

“The point is to me, none of these things should be done because anyone feels pressure to tick a box. A show like Doctor Who has brilliantly celebrated gay people, incidentally, which to me is proper progress. But I think personally, there should absolutely be a female Doctor, a black Doctor, an Asian Doctor, but it’s because someone comes along who is absolutely indisputably the person for the job. With James Bond, it’s a literary antecedent. If you were for reasons of box-ticking made James Bond gay, that’s not James Bond. By all means have a gay spy! I’ve written about one myself! [Mark’s Lucifer Box novels] If you want to do a gay British Spy, adapt my books! That’s my advice. Do a franchise based on my books!”

Will Mark Gatiss fulfill his dreams of creating the next “new” thing that we will all love and obsess over? What is the future for our beloved Doctor Who/Sherlock writer? In addition to a film, more Doctor Who and the three new Sherlocks, that is. What is Mark’s secret project he hasn’t talked about yet?

At this he narrows his eyes, pats my leg and says with a Mycroft twinkle and almost a sneer:

“Can’t talk about it.”

Mark’s Doctor Who episode “Sleep No More” airs this Saturday.

#MG #mark gatiss #interview #all things MG

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meetmeatthecoda · 5 years

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Thank you so much for tagging me, @starcrier!! 😄 I’m sorry this took so long, friend, but here we go!! 😊 Enjoy or whatever 😂

Favorite snack? Right now, I’m obsessed with Annie’s organic cheddar bunnies. Those little buggers are tasty!!

Favorite place to go on vacation? The beach!! For sure. The boardwalk and the ocean waves can solve just about anything.

What’s a song that makes you dance immediately? Right now, It’s Strange by Louis The Child feat. K.Flay. I kept hearing it in that stupid car commercial and now it’s my jam. Whoops.

Tea or Coffee? And what kind? Coffee!! Preferably with indecent amounts of chocolate and whipped cream. My coffees are more like desserts honestly.

Do you play an instrument? LOL yeah, that’s kinda what I do. Flute & piccolo 😊

What’s your favorite type of personality? On other people? Hmmm, well, I’m like immediately drawn to people who go out of their way to make awkward people (me) feel at ease. Like just genuinely easy-going, kind, understanding people. Just chill. Yeah, those are good people, they help me relax and be more like myself.

Favorite Comedian? I don’t watch a whole lot of comedy but John Mulaney, for sure, I’m kinda in love with him. Also, Kathleen Madigan is great. And Kate McKinnon is just so cutely quirky, she’s adorable.

Gummy candy or chocolate? Chocolate, 1000%. But I also love me a bag of gummy bears.

What did you ‘want to be when you grew up’ as a kid? Ah, I had 3 very specific visions for myself: horse trainer, oceanographer, and author. Preferably all at once. I was a kid of many interests. Still am. Even though they have narrowed slightly in focus to all things music related. (It’d still be cool to be an author tho, no lie.)

What’s your favorite physical feature about yourself? LOL meh, I’m not super enamored with myself. I’m pretty tall, so that’s cool. My arms and fingers are kinda long from playing the flute, but I also have huge hands so idk. Probably also from playing flute. Sometimes I think my eyes are pretty.

When was the last time you watched a show or movie on a TV? I’m currently watching The Late Late Show with James Corden. I’m all about late night TV.

Unpopular Opinion? I don’t like Beyonce. Please don’t hate me.

Are you scared of bugs? Hell, yeah. Hate ‘em. Hate killin’ ‘em, hate lookin’ at ‘em, hate anything to do with ‘em. Just no. Please go be gross somewhere else.

Cats or dogs? Kitty cats. They’re beautiful. Especially mine ❤️

Are you allergic to any foods? No, luckily!

Does the description of your star sign match your personality? I… don’t pay attention to that stuff honestly.

Favorite type of accent? Aw, man, I just love accents in general. Other than American ones, of course, those are boring to me, too familiar LOL (I think I just like dissecting the differences in rhythms and cadences, how people pronounce different words. I guess that’s my music geek coming out.) In particular, I’m super attracted to British and Scottish accents. Like, yes.

Name the first song that comes into your head! The Waving Through A Window cover by Pentatonix. I’m obsessed. (P.S. @starcrier, my mom used to call the Jar of Hearts song Jar of Farts instead 👍)

Who is the sexiest famous person to you? Uhhh, James Spader. He’s sexy at any age. Also, Zachary Quinto comes to mind. He’s freaking beautiful. And Ryan Gosling. I have to conform somehow.

Cake or pie? I’m generally pro-cake. But my mom’s pies are the bomb.

When was the last time you read an entire book? Ooooh, probably last summer, unfortunately. I’m usually stuck reading music textbooks right now, which isn’t awful, but… it’s tiresome. I believe it was Portrait of a Lady btw. But I also read a lot of fanfiction. Easier to get through quickly and just awesome in general ofc.

Favorite junk food? I mean… pizza.

Do you like your height? Yeah, I mentioned that somewhere above. I used to think I was super tall cause I was a big kid, ahead of the growth curve or whatever, but now I think I’m kinda average. About 5’7’’ I think? I’d like to be taller but… it’s okay LOL

Apples or oranges? Mmmm, apples. But oranges are yummy too.

Do you like salad? Yes!! It’s certainly grown on me as I’ve gotten older, especially with yummy fresh veggies, cheese, and croutons. And dressing. Don’t skimp on the dressing.

What person inspires you the most? My family and my music professors. And that’s definitely more than one person. Sorry.

What is a song that has made you cry? Oof. On the Nature of Daylight by Max Richter. It’s most hard-hitting in the movie Arrival but it still packs a punch on its own ❤️

Thank you for this, my friend!! 😃 I’m sorry I’m so supremely uninteresting!! 😂 I’m gonna tag @ihaveyoulizzington, @james-baeder, @strawberry-pills, @codewordpumpkin, and @theythinkimabitch!! 😀 And anyone else who wants to, of course!! 😊 Much love guys!! ❤️

#Coda in real life #mine #ask #tag game #starcrier #ihaveyoulizzington #james-baeder #strawberry-pills #codewordpumpkin #theythinkimabitch #thank you for tagging me star!!#:D #this was fun and i hope everyone else thinks so too!!#:)#much love y'all!!#<3

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breakingmllc · 3 years

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I Know Heaven Is A Beautiful Place Because They Have My Husky Wings T Shirt

And is hereand I clothingand present also present very well before the emails that she is on practicaland wonderful people you entertain United Nations I do indeed yes I have trained back to my previous statement I do recall it comes to continental title to send you a I Know Heaven Is A Beautiful Place Because They Have My Husky Wings T Shirt call the conversation again I do yes verified other can read it back to me please now actually give them okay Tuesday January the rarest rock she had a different perspective than the restand I think that we found a sadand thinking that we perhaps would wanted to see me for anywhere so we all get a grant which was like aand wonder what we know I cannot purpose for lying aboutand it is strange that that’s less than like it is a little once again nominated that putting Ferdinandand boss lady in their ruling of the bus a particular with the bus baby is a genius exploration of the evils of late capitalism as told through a baby in a coma Verizon how monies dreaming all that it’s a really trippy psychedelic blades like Smith has been seen since what you areas are the outand writing right here at work her job to rewatch minivan forced us to watchand and in light of that they clearly do you look at meand a lot of people think even stronger one human being so which is really funny great foundand had Legoand Batmanand that’s literally the reason lightingand the word Lego man then there like now it’s dumb that he did not shameand are literally just look at the time because those are two of the better animated movies exiting the government was but they are my favorite Batman movies really think I 2012and the screeners for dark night right I was shocked because I looked backand forth read the entire synopsis they managed to write up a whole synopsis without once mentioning the word nowhere to be found on the beach I think I’lland the cover was Bruce Wayne climbing like the wall is no those of a no it’s just Christian mailand in the rain heard like down from like the bar idea that it was just like the colostomy bag Academy voter anymore the impression that there really is then again looking at Wolverine on the Lorraine in combating now should wonder woman need help from for me personally I the superhero film how you compare superhero film to the drama what account if you can’t be beautiful to selectionand even. AND THEN YOU THOUGHT EPSTEIN WAS BAD HERE’S A LIST OF THE PEDOPHILE POLITICIANS OF LATE AND THAT’S JUST BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEXT WE HAVE HAD JUDGE CAVANAUGH RULES AGAINST GEORGE SOROS CONNECTING CONNECTED TO OPEN SOCIETY PREVENTING FOREIGN FUNDING WHEN NO POLICIES IN PLACE OPPOSING PROSTITUTION AND SEX TRAFFICKING THIS IS REALLY CRITICAL THAT HE STOOD UP AND THIS IS FOR THE FIRST AMENDMENT AND THE DEFTLY HERE IN AMERICA SO IN THE AND JANA JENSEN SAYS JEFFREY EPSTEIN IS AN AMATEUR AND WHEN IT COMES TO CHILDREN AND IN THE PARTIES THAT ACTUALLY GO ON THERE IN HOLLYWOOD SO SHE REVEALS MORE MORE ABOUT HUNTING THEY ACTUALLY CALL IT HUNTING GAMES TO GO ON WITH CHILDREN AT THESE PARTIES SEE SECTIONS WE FOUND THEM OBVIOUSLY THE BIGGEST IT IS FOR. You know interaction ever had because you couldn’t speak at all thank you everybody else took offense to everyone who came as something they would take a look at say anything back so they would just say everything is going to say my face would just tell also’s argument was that your Film I get out there that think they are right baseball garden I did bring you it is betterand has been so interested is a friend of my body get out there the antibody is in a hospital make their case advantage of them in any way you possibly can move on to our first story here todayand is according to the high reporter scares me that actually deadline high reporter broke a story about a lot of yesterday deadline is not about the new villainand wonder woman to is none other than Sheena played by Kristen Wade apparently paycheckand has had her eye on wake for a while now to play this roleand it looks to be confirmed so that she is going to be going up against wonder woman in the sequel to this massive wonder woman they came out last year the new movie comes on November 1 2000 19th J Washington in any way on the panel knows a little something about Sheena is get a VU what does this mean for wonder woman to you no more you know what for first was one of one woman’s biggest adversaries which is cool use granted they didn’t do in the first movie you burned her out from World War Iand had going forward for two Christian week is interesting casting choice as we been seeing a lot lately with comedic actorsand actresses black I said this on twitter if we can get great Elizabeth Banks is repulsing granted the movie the powerand the heart of the story the cake they did on Rita was nice the way she looked at the different look the vision of a Christian week plan is now will she be as serious or comedic is the question you know now also the story of cheetah is a British archaeologist who goes in Africa they had an opportunity to make this potentially a black British woman there’s a lot of things you do great don’t have to change the cultureand the nationality of the character but you done about bunch of things Christian week is a good choice I believe black will have to see you know when you quit yesterday about the rhetoric also compares it was an interesting one at a very early going on to policy your readerand are in the phase where you will reader processing the I actually like our industry in a limitedand I know the old school reader pulseand everybody was hoping to see in Greenwich have to change things sometimes so using the way they get Elizabeth with this one the Krispy Kreme things a little too much I limit like the look is what I was talking about we can expect her to look as bad as she didand who is a Christian we can look like an incredibly soft terrifyingand look like everything that nightmares are because I know that person that scale afterand I had decided not to go sleep that night like this character sheet in general it is likely because of the complaint getting a lot of Power Rangersand about Elizabeth is reader repulsive she was doing her job if your job was to be in the 90s show Power Rangers seem to fit in with the time when the new movie was trying to do so how’s the character like cheetah who from the fanart for whatever is you are looking to come up with seems a little more outlandish than what we got in wonder woman the first movie I was I get a job with the town because this is the first outlandish character to get that’s a human who transformsand something else with justice league you halfstep more that’s in our worldly creature is in itself with complementingand get everything that’s naturally in Atlanta so we understand that this is gonna be something new to see the DCU you know that to be the interest of our behind again we dealt with psychological sale a question when dating Ghostbustersand other films but this has to be something different will have a comedic element potentially Casio serious will see Harry immediately relocatedand seeing like comedians turn into the deep illness rolesand I rooted for everyone in the marketing point of vampire only those crazy if I were to do a rather like the movie didn’t work as well rises to be in one hour photo resigning like this could work out I think it did think Connex can test it to a darker side of their personality getting Kristen Wade is going to be able to do you I have made during especially the just need your initial impression is lie regarding the morning moreand more I read the other where twins are rolling over she’s going to be a good work can know that she is a good idea if Peterson is really talking on the show where it’s like you feel about one wayand in the next week you feel the same exact way did you get this newsand then have an initial reactionand has that changed all sense you heard about this yesterday plates at the words were not including the reference got into because I first heard the confidenceand Christian way to be able to take her time fender from the community of economic theory generally by tradition works much better than tomato doctors trying to go however my question really affect the talent of what wonder woman he was going to be because if they are bringing Christian right are they planning to make it more the sort of lighthearted comedic type of film compared to the first one where there very negligible humor so much of the few moments of levity but it’s not going the route of life like they do in the NICU movie maxed out when they are trying to may be asking rather than actually having Kristen be super hard core cannot write most of the last few got from wonder woman were were very genuine think the reason for that is because she was allegedly try to find her way in the man’s world so to speak because she went out of her boss Dennis Garethand her interactions the chemistry Chris finds where we got most of the yacht if you will get a movie like Ghostbusters obviously that’s more spoof the then I think you get to see if you wanted so here’s the big question you are left to get over to the panel as a fan person wayand that they can be won over to her performance the one I wanted is under just a little bit of pressure yet again because the first time a woman came outand had to rescue us from this dark gray toneand it succeededand then you have justice leagueand now very divisive movie again so whatever man does with my CAN have a more serious darker tone seems once again is directing it what do we need wonder woman to have in order to make Kristen Wade fit into this balance because as we saw with justice league trying to shift the entire town of DC name from Zach Siders darker version to Joss Wheaton’s line or humorous version the China ship Nike seven Apple man James one says dark black James wants a what you expect I think it’s the balance you’re gonna have a humorist element with one woman like you said in the first you have those humorous moments when you tap into that a little more Diana plays around that we seem that she jokes moreand now she’s more accurate to the world again if this present day is his will to but it doesn’t matter I think I will have a lot more humorand Patty Jenkins also ceased exercising more than anything else so that’s what I would single phase it is Kathy Parsley I can send out the rest of the DCU yelled at everyone with your director changes with your your hiringsand firings of executives with your cash comingand going like the movie I want to make I guess Kristen Wade is a cheetah going to do it I can do I want right now how skinny my confidenceand she sort of envisioned Christian right brain itselfand the one she essentially is writing the role for Christianand the only present quite depressing right was Christianand I think that will be sort of tailored to Christian relaxing make this work a lot more holisticallyand cohesively been made in micro barring a comedic actress integral where really wasn’t for you

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sveasauvageon · 4 years

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Yours is not to wonder why, yours is to do or die! || GW

☾♔; March 21, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: idk ☾♔; comedian otd: JOHN FU.CKING OLIVER* ☾♔; GW NPC Audition II ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/XSTtMc ☾♔; mod(s): @themadmonarchist @maybones et moi

*oh yeah, he's gonna be comedian of the day all fu.cking week long. As of this moment, his book (Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Presents A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo) is number ONE on Amazon's bestseller's list, outselling not just the Pence's Marlon Bundo book, but James Comey's upcoming tell-all or whatever book about the crazy sh.it at the Trump white house and his firing, and the audiobook version of the Last Week Tonight book is number FOUR, the kindle edition is number FIVE, and all three are ahead on the list than the Pence's book (which is number 7). Guys, I don't have much faith in humanity, we as a species suck (case in point, Trump won the US presidency and so many other problems), but sometimes, like this moment, I love us!

Title: said by Blair Waldorf (my role model in life tbh)

Me: *petty af* Also Me: *passive aggressive af* Thus Me: *manifests pettiness in my oc's*

Preamble Ramble: FINALLY! I've finished one of my auditions! Next up, hopefully Svea, but probs Nika, I'm on a Russia kick, my Swedes will have to wait.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Vladimir Vladimirovich Sokolov, (17)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Изучаю тебя нежно-нежно ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Убиваю тебя ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Назови меня эгоистом! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀-⠀Эгоист by Дима Билан ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(Dima Bilan, aka my one true love) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀https://goo.gl/VkQMN3

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ THE BASICS

Nickname: Volodya, Vova (but only people with special permission can call him either, call him "Vlad" and he'll end you) Gender: cis-male Date of Birth: May 7 Place of Birth: Moscow, Russia Nationality: Russian-British Ethnicity: eastern Slavic (he's also of anglo-saxon and Karachay descent) Accent: Russian Blood Status: muggle-born

Profession: Student

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Jon Kortajarena

Hair: dark brown, positively luscious and better than yours could ever hope to be.

Eyes: green

Height: 1.88m

Weight: idk

Body: tol, fit, and ridiculously handsome.

Any Scars/ Marks?: - a long horizontal scar near his right 4th rib. Looks to be from a knife wound or some other blade type weapon, but refuses to explain where it came from (was he stabbed? Sword fight? You don't know! I don't know. Mostly because my answer will be lame compared to the "cool" way he refuses to explain it)

Any Tattoos/ Piercings?: a crowned double-headed eagle on his left shoulder blade and an ouroboros, but as a dragon instead of a snake on the inside of his right arm, near the wrist, around half the length of his forearm (there's a picture of it in his moodboard).

Quirks/ Mannerisms: - uses terms of endearment sarcastically for everyone, such as "darling" or "dear" - identifies the nearest 6 exits every time he enters a room - makes weirdly, somewhat threat-like jokes like "don't move to England if you're a professional traitor, people tend be hanged, thrown out of windows or are poisoned" and "those who serve us with poison will eventually swallow it and poison themselves."

Style: expensive (of course). It's quite preppy, and classy, when not in uniform he prefers well-tailored suits, waistcoats, blazers, has a collection of designer watches. Kind of modern Victorian (well, my view of victorians is endless suits and prefect ettiquette, plus many moral values that contrast my liberal views, but their style was, eh meh. Like, their male style was pretty cool, but I'm not really into around 98% of their female style).

Additional Information: n/a

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PERSONALITY:

Head cannon: Vova is a rather intimidating person, in the terrifying sort of way. He carries an air of malice and death everywhere he goes, when he does act "warm and fuzzy", it's always jarring and seen as completely out of character, and possibly the sign of an illness. He is generally seen as the restrained, the quiet kid in the back with a perpetual "plotting your murder" expression on his otherwise handsome face. However, he is also seen as a rather extravagant, and somewhat suspicious person, he always seems to have access to illegal things (in both wizarding and muggle worlds), and seen as impervious to consequence, as regardless of what he does (or is suspected to have done), never gets in trouble.

Personality (+ 5, - 5): Ruthless and shrewd, if you're not careful, he'll screw up your life. He's incredibly manipulative and self-centered, a true stereotypical Slytherin through and through (well, minus the pureblood thing. He's a muggleborn). Definitely overdramatic and decadent af. He is alluring, very much in the evil way, he's attractive, but he does nothing to hide how dark he (seemingly) is. Like, I guess you could say "bad boy attractive", but he's borderline murderous, and possibly a psychopath, so calling him a "bad boy" is not really all that accurate. He's a very proud and arrogant individual (especially about Russia), and quite malevolent, and vicious. He's patient and holds grudges for a long time, and never forgets a slight. He will legit back at you for something said years ago, he doesn't forget that stuff. He's both a great friend and not, he absolutely provides for his friends, buying them things, etc, but cross him in the slightest, he'll ruin you. And on that note, he also doesn't really have "friends", because if you're depending on him for his wealth, you're not really friends, and he's aware of that, he looks at such people more as "minions" than buddies. They're job is to agree with him and do as he commands, otherwise, what's their point. For people who hang out with him whom he doesn't support financially, it's more like tolerable existences, he's a difficult person to like anyway. However, he is capable of befriending people, usually under the guise of "I hate people, but you, you're cool", luring them into a false sense of security and making them feel special at the same time. However, having said that, he is not a pure psychopath, so he does have feelings. He genuinely cares about his family, animals in general, himself, and select few friends whom he does actually care about, but struggles with expressing that to them, since differentiating with people he pretends to befriend and actually considers friends is difficult since "I hate people, except you" is something he says to both types. It'd probably only come out in a life and death situation, since he'd put himself in harms way for people he genuinely gives a sh.it about, and wouldn't bother for the minions.

Any mental health issues: He's probably something between a sociopath and psychopath, like, he does have actual emotions, as limited as they are, so he's not a true socio/psychopath. The argument is made (and a theory that I personally prescribe to, as a shi.tty psychology/sociology student, so don't put any weight or authority behind my opinion) that a psychopath is simply a more extreme and refined sociopath, so under that logic, Vova is basically a less extreme sociopath. (also, also, I have a problem with socio/psychopaths, I make too many of them, and they turn out to be my favourites. This is really worrying guys.) Anyway, under DSM IV (or possibly DSM III, I forgot which one changed the classification), he'd have what was called "an AXIS II Personality disorder", they've gotten rid of that classification now, but it basically listed narcissism, anti-social, sociopathic, and psychopathic personality disorders.

Favorite Quotes/ Sayings that your character would use: - "the fact that you need that explained is just so fu.cking sad." (literally said to anyone who doesn't understand any concept, whether it's something as simple as 2+2=4 or complicated as "imaginary time" -- don't ask, it's one of Stephen Hawking's theories and I don't understand it, I know my son would make fun of me.) - "what a fool" - "don't be attempt to be a comedian fool, you'll only embarrass yourself." - "darling, you have no idea what's possible." - "want to see what true power really looks like?" - "urg, don't be such a pleb/plebeian." - "of course I love Beyoncé, I'm a human being who lives on this planet." - "when better to have truffles and tiramisu than at 3am in Milan on a Thursday?" - "that jacket looks fine." - "dear, when will you learn? I know everything." - "Mudblood? Is that supposed to hurt my feelings? I don't have any of those, so what else are you going to do?"

Additional Information: - never on time. He's always late. You will literally start crying before he shows up he takes so long. - Loves crushing people's dreams (basically his hobby) - has an uncanny ability to suck the joy out of anything (his ex has said "unfortunately, he is a vampire", but in a muggle jokey way and basically the dracula stereotypical view muggles have of dracula, as in dark and not fun, and not an actual vampire) - Chess (muggle and wizard -- a proper, "normal" person hobby) - Has a bit of a smoking habit - has an endless list of blackmail material on people (a lot of which is infuriatingly revealed by GW at various times), and also has a tendency of taping people doing various things which he uses as part of his blackmail library. Seems to have cameras' everywhere and claims to "know everything" about everyone.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ BIOGRAPHY

Relation to your OC: classmates, housemates (possibly more, formerly, I'm still developing him)

♣️ Family Background

Vova comes from a largely muggle family, however, he is not the first wizard born into their family in recent history, so it wasn't completely a left-field shock when he started displaying magic. The first wizard in their family in the last few centuries (approximately) was Vova's uncle; Ilya Dmitriyevich Shostokov, who attended Koldovstoretz. Vova was the second in recent history, and his younger sister made third. Whilst virtually unknown in the magical world (with the exception of Ilya Shostokov, who has a rather dark reputation in the wizarding world), the Sokolov's are very prominent in the muggle world, particularly in Russia. Vova's grandfather is an Oligarch, who in Russia are effectively businessmen who run the country, the only curtail on their power and influence being the Russian President, and even then, the Russian administration is extremely corrupt, in the last presidential election, the incumbent president was able to literally choose his opponents (not a joke, btw. Putin actually did that in the recent Russian election). Anyway, the Sokolov's have a monopoly over the media industry in Russia, most of which run state-friendly stories, and shut down anything that could potentially insult the presidency. Their family, specifically the current patriarch, is also often accused (mainly in rival papers, magazines, shows, etc) of not only being corrupt, but having involvement with the Zima Bratva. As whole, they maintain an unfavourable public image (as most oligarchs do in the eyes of the Russian public), but are close with the Kremlin, so they remain influential with the government.

Family Members: - Vladimir Yakovlevich Sokolov // Marc Lavoine // Father // 47 // Politician // alive - Catherine Elizabeth Sokolova née Olivier // Emilia Fox // Mother // 46 // Socialite/House-wife // alive - Yevgeniya "Zhenya" Vladimirovna Sokolova // Antonina Vasylchenko // younger sister // 16 // student at Hogwarts // alive - Yakov Lʲvovich Sokolov // Charles Dance // paternal grandfather // 71 // Oligarch/suspected Bratva leader // alive - Ilya Dmitriyevich Shostokov // Nikolaj Coster-Waldau // paternal uncle, once(ish) removed // 43 // dark wizard // alive

♣️ Family Affiliation: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Slytherin House, Russian Government (the muggle one, as a fam they support United Russia, because Vlad Sr is a member. Personally? Who knows whom Vova supports), other Kremlin-close Russian Oligarchs

♣️ Socio-economic status: rich as fu.ck. The exact number and position is actually quite shadowy though. They are amongst the wealthiest muggle families in Russia (Vova's grandfather is an Oligarch), but the retainment (definitely not a word) of their wealth also depends on how friendly they remain with the Kremlin, additionally, their family (mainly Vova's gramps) has been accused of having Bratva ties, and money from that alleged connection is definitely not counted on tax forms.

Quick facts: + Born May 7 in a Moscow Hospital, first son of Vladimir Sokolov, an emerging Russian politician (who eventually made it into the Federation Council). After his sister was born just about a year later, their mother, British-born Catherine Sokolova née Olivier, obtained dual British citizenship for them via "lex sanguinis" (which is a british citizenship law, giving to people who are born abroad is one of their parents is a British citizen by birth. I could've left this out, but I googled this sh.it and I like rambling).

+ Whilst close with his family, Vova was a solitary child, he liked to read and spend time on his own in a corner, or stay at their various Dacha's without anyone else. He never seemed to require any oversight as he never did anything bad (or least, he was never caught). However, he is closest to his grandfather, and would enjoy sitting in on board meetings, just silently observing from a corner. Some of his grandfather's employees (or Minions as Lev calls them, where Vova also got the habit from) found his silent starring creepy and unsettling.

+ Being a muggleborn, he is well-versed with the muggle world and has interacted with them from birth, his parents and grandfather all being muggles, and attended muggle private schools as a child before his letters came. Whilst they employ muggle servants (because they're muggles), his uncle (the first wizard he ever met) employs a house-elf (yes, he pays the house-elf, they might be part of an oppressive government and basically an organized crime family, but they don't do slaves).

+ Vova first discovered magically abilities on his own, when on a trip in Australia with his mother, he discovered a large snake in their hotel room one morning whilst she was still sleeping, being around 3 and not fully comprehending the danger, he just walked up to it and started talking with it. It later slythered (see what I did there) away of it's own accord when Catherine walked in and freaked out about a massive crazy Australian snake (because you guys have scary animals) coiled near her son. As he aged, he noticed he could do other things, such as making things float or disappear.

+ Vova first publically displayed magically abilities (as well as control over them) aged 7, when a board member of one his grandfather's companies was throwing a hissy fit about a child sitting in, and his tie suddenly tightened and started choking him. The man survived, at that instance, died suspiciously at a later date. Anyway, he survived that instance when Lev ordered the meeting to be over and broke Vova's angry glare at the dude. The two immediately then went home, and Lev called Ilya to arrive in "his" way (apparition) and had Ilya introduce Vova to magic and talk about whatever, Lev didn't know the specifics.

+ When his sister discovered powers (shattering all the windows in their Dacha in Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky via screaming, she was told she couldn't keep a Siberian Tiger as a pet), he gave her the "magic talk", and they caused quite a bit of trouble for annoying students at their school, as well as a nearby "plebeian" school (who disliked the children of oligarchs, for very obvious reasons, Oligarchs rule Russia, and they kind of suck). Anyway, they would mess with their things, frame them for crimes that children their age literally could not commit. What 8 year old has cocaine their locker and why does another 8 year old know what it is?

+ He received a letter from both Koldovstoretz and Hogwarts aged 11 (because he's a dual-y), chose Hogwarts since no one in his family had ever gone there before (like, there's only one person in recent history whose ever been magical anyway, but still), also might have had something to do with the Zima bratva's recent (at that time) expansion into the British criminal landscape, who knows?

+ Although he denies any connection, Vova runs effectively a youth branch of his uncle's business, which itself is a branch of the Zima Bratva. Ilya is basically a magical fixer for the Zima Bratva, who, for a very hefty price, uses dark magic to assist/fix the problems of the muggles and magical alike. Vova does basically exactly the same, but for the students at Hogwarts, and for a different price. Instead of money, he collects information and favours to be repaid immediately at any time he demands. He also maintains an iron fisted rule over his "organization", whether they be customers or minions, snitches don't get stitches, snitches get buried 50 feet beneath the ground.

Additional Information: - he is a parselmouth, a trait inherited from a distant magical ancestor (like from back in the Kevian Rus days of his familial ancestry), his sister also inherited the trait, though their uncle did not.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Is your character a student of Hogwarts?: yeppers If so, which house and year: Slytherin, Seventh Year If not, which house did they belong to while they were at Hogwarts?: n/a

Best Class(s) at Hogwarts: defense against the dark arts

Worst Class(s) at Hogwarts: none

Any Pets?: an ooc, cute af owl (tawny, spotted, he doesn't know. Okay, I don't know, but as a consequence, neither does Vova), it's smol and got big round eyes, it's name is Harold and yes, it is his best friend, and yes, he did get it at diagon alley at his sister's instance, and accidentally got attached to it. He does like animals though, the Solokov Dacha in the outskirts of Yakutsk has effectively become a cross between an animal hospital and habitat for, welp, animals. Vova spends most of his holidays there (often alone, not including servants, as it's cold AF. Yakutsk is the second coldest major city in the world, after Norilsk, but it's winter's are colder than Norilsk's), he's ability to visit has increased since he learned how to apparate. He's also really interested, invested, and active in wildlife conservation, and often goes tagging Siberian tigers and polar bears etc with various animal protection organizations in Russia (the muggle ones).

Reputation at Hogwarts: Volodya has a largely dark reputation, he's more infamous than famous. He's known for messing with people, and not in a fun way, and he's generally seen as some kind of criminal. His uncle is well known is the magical world as a "Jack of all trades of villainy", and Vova definitely fits that villain mold too. He probably wouldn't be too close to the elites, they're sort of glittering in their ivory towers, and his tower is dark and gloomy, and lacks joy because he finds it annoying. Although, he and E probs might've gotten along in her pureblood bully gang days, or actually would've been antagonistic, he's basically as evil as them, but he's a mudblood, so meh, maybe rival bullies? Idk, I'll leave that for plotting. Anyway, he's not got a "bad boy" rep so much as a "omg, he's literally the worst person alive, why are you trying to be his friend, does he have a incriminating evidence on you?" type rep.

Additional Information: n/a

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ INDIVIDUAL MAGIC

Wand: yew Wand Core: veela hair (acquired by his uncle through unknown means, there was a report of a veela going missing right around the time Uncle Ilya got that hair so...) Wand Length: 13½" Wand Flexibility: inflexible

Patronus: Eurasian brown bear

Boggart: appears as the corpses of his family, killed via poison/nerve agent. His fear being a government revolution and his family getting caught up in that or his family losing the Kremlin's favour. The result would be the same in both scenarios tbh.

Amortentia: citrus, gun powder, and mint

Affinity to any particular magic? - I dunno if you'd call it an affinity, but he is waaaay too into the unforgivable curses and it's waaaaaay too easy for him to perform them. - dark magic/dark arts (you guys know exactly why he has an affinity for it XP)

Additional Information: - whilst he loves magic, he also has a deep fascination with muggle weapons (particularly the ones developed by his country), and has been experimenting with magically evolving them, particularly poisons and nerve agents.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ USER INFORMATION

Username: @drownedinmoonlight Activity Level (Scale 1-10): 8

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ OPTIONAL Playlist: Moodboard: https://goo.gl/R7DVjp Social Media (instagram, facebook, snapchat, twitter, etc): Storyboard: https://goo.gl/h6DJfB Aesthetic Collection: Wardrobe/Style Collection: Plotting Set: Story:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

When you have completed the audition, please tag the mods: @drownedinmoonlight @themadmonarchist and @maybones and use the hashtag #GWnpc

#polyvore #audition #template #vova sokolov #mine #gw

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demitgibbs · 6 years

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Q&A: Pam Ann Flys in for a Special NYE Performance

International celebrity airhostess, Pam Ann (look below to find out how the name came about), has evolved since first jetting out of her hometown of Melbourne over 20 years ago. Pam – the alter-ego of Australian comedian-writer-producer Caroline Reid – has developed a cult following, both here in the States and overseas, with her masterful portrayal of an International Flight Attendant. Pam Ann is returning to Sunshine Cathedral in Fort Lauderdale on December 31 at 8 p.m. with a special New Year’s Eve show, NYE—Flight 2018. For those of you who have never seen a Pam Ann performance, get ready for turbulence caused by all the hysterical laughter. It was, once again, a pleasure to sit down with both Pam and Caroline for this exclusive Hotspots interview.

What has happened in the last years since we last spoke?

I have been traveling the world with Pam Ann from Miami, London, Stockholm, Paris, Mykonos, and New York. It’s my first year living in Miami and I must say it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made. I feel less stressed and I’ve been enjoying the beach and meeting so many fabulous people in between my trips away. I love living in a vacation destination.

How did you create Pam Ann?

She was born out of a bottle of Absolut vodka. I had a James Bond themed birthday party back in 1996 (Sean Connery Bond). He only flew Pan American, so I went dressed to my birthday as a Pan Am 1960’s air hostess. Over the course of the evening everyone was getting more and more drunk and started calling me Pan Am. The drunker my friends got, the more it sounded like Pam Ann. Try it say Pan Am ten times in a row BOOM PAM ANN is born. Plus, my love of everything 60’s design and airlines created what Pam Ann is today. Seriously I never thought I’d end up in comedy, I actually wanted to be a department store window dresser… before Pam Ann I actually used to sell mannequins at Mei & Picchi in Fitzroy Melbourne.

WATCH:

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Did you ever expect this level of success and how did it change your life?

I never try to have expectations period. I’ve always lived my life and career organically and followed my heart and passion. Success is a weird word; it’s all in the mind what you perceive. I just try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t think about success. I feel like I haven’t even started yet and still have a long journey ahead. Pam Ann has gifted me the opportunity to live a carefree life and travel the world doing what I love, I couldn’t be more grateful to her. I’ve met so many incredible friends along the way. I’m a High School dropout so for me Pam Ann has been my university in life. I am now the Wikipedia on airlines, flight attendants, cultures and global travel. My US green card to me is one of my greatest achievements, it’s my college degree … Pam Ann got me into the USA.

You have worked with so many superstars, who are your favorites and why?

Elton John and David Furnish are my favorite superstars and people in the world. Not only do they support and encourage new talent, they have raised so much awareness and money for HIV and AIDS; they are my heroes. I love them both so, so much… and damn, they know how to throw a great party.

Is there one gig that was your favorite and if so why?

One of my favorite shows was in Paris at the beautiful Alhambra theatre. I love Parisians and I love performing in Paris. My bar is set high to achieve and do the best I can for the Parisians. Comedy is like a drug—you’re always chasing the perfect show. So this one particulate night in Paris I’d performed what I thought was an ok show in my mind. I went off stage and said to my tour manager Esther (who’s been with me for over 12 years and knows me so well) damn that wasn’t good enough. I went to my dressing room took off my wig and threw off my Chanel pumps. Esther then came running into my dressing room saying they won’t leave… I said who? She said the audience. They are stamping their feet and demanding you come out for an encore. I was in shock, and I went out barefoot, wig in hand completely confused…they all stood on their feet and shouted BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO! I cried and thanked them as they hugged me with their hearts. I’ll never forget it, it was my Edith Piaf moment. I love and adore the French so much and even though I can’t speak French, they feel it from my soul. That’s why I love what I do, for these precious magical golden rare moments.

Now that you live in the states, do you miss Australia and how often do you get back down under?

I love Australia, my family and my best friends live there. I’ve had friends in Oz for over 30yrs who are all part of my DNA. Pam Ann was born in Melbourne through the encouragement of so many darling friends of mine, without them Pam Ann might never have been. I miss everyone so much I wish we could pull Australia over and join it to Miami. IMAGINE Miami with kangaroos! I try and go back two times a year of course flying the Qantas, the flying kangaroo.

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How do you keep your material fresh for the audience and for yourself as an artist?

I never do the same show…ever! I tailor my shows to what country I’m in and talk about their national airline and what is currently happening in their world that we all can relate to. I improvise the first hour or so of my show and I work on the fly so to speak. I don’t write I just tell my stories though my real life experiences and observations (I have an incredible Wikipedia library in my head). I have brought back much more audience participation to my shows once again, which I love. I stopped doing it for a while…long story all I’ll say it involved glitter and a homophobic couple. But rest assured I’m back in full swing so watch out Pam Ann Frequent Flyers.

Describe Pam Ann is three words?

Honest, funny and ‘plane’ filthy.

What should the South Florida Audiences expect from the New Year’s Eve Show?

I will be talking a lot about the year we just had and I will be sharing stories from all of my travels. I have some fabulous new videos spoofing the ‘Great British Bake Off’ and there will be lots of audience interaction.

Do you have a warning for the virgins of your show?

Turn your f*cking phones off!

What does the future hold for Pam Ann and for Caroline?

I’m looking forward to touring Australia with Pam Ann in the New Year and visiting my family. I have created a brand new stand up show as myself so I will be performing this new show RAWR on London’s West End in 2018 which is an exciting new chapter for me. I look forward to lots of new projects in 2018 and also lying on the beach more.

Tickets are now on sale for NYE—Flight 2018 at pamann.ticketleap.com. General Admission, Premium Seating, and VIP tickets (including a meet and greet) available. $35-$100.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/12/14/qa-pam-ann-flys-in-for-a-special-nye-performance/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/168538993280

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obspogon · 7 years

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Tldr; I listen to way too many podcasts. Skip to the very bottom of this long-ass post to see my top recommendations. Titles are links (this subreddit's css, doesn't make that obvious)I have loved podcasts for about 10 years, but for the last 3, due to my job, I have become a 40+ hour a week, power-listener. In that time my lists and recommendations have been very well-received on this sub, and since I'm leaving that job next month, I decided it was time to come up with a master list of my top recommendations across all categories.First of all: These are just my opinions. If your favorite show didn't make this list, don't get mad at me, just go ahead and shout it out in the comments. I put a lot of thought into the ranking, but if you ask me next week I'll probably have changed my mind on a lot of it.I have no qualifications to review podcasts except for the fact that I listen to way too many of them. Actually, the real reason I wanted to make this list was because I think the lists I've seen written by qualified reviewers are usually really bad, imo. I always feel like the reviewer has listened to like 60 podcasts, and is listing their top 50. I have no idea how many podcasts I've listened to but it's got to be in the thousands, and there are soooo many great shows out there, so I thought it's my duty to share.100 shows is actually only a subset of the shows I like. At first this list grew to over 200 and I was still thinking of more. So I decided to cut it at my favorite 100 and I added three criteria to help cull it down:It must be active: Some day I'll make a list of my favorite dead podcasts, but none are on this list.It must have at least 10 episodes: I think 10 episodes in is a decent trial period. If I've listened to less than that I don't feel comfortable recommending it. Also there's a trend right now of shows putting out one 8-10 episode season, and then just never renewing to a second season. So, if it has more than 10 episodes, I feel like it has staying power.It must be interesting for general audiences: Podcasts tend to be topical. That makes it a little tough to recommend them if I don't know you, because you might not be into the topic of the show. So I have only included shows that I think you don't need too much specific knowledge to enjoy (either because the topic is general, or because it's fun even for the non-initiated.)I'm sure at some point I screwed up on those rules, but they were the guidelines I was working from.Honorable Mentions: First here are some smaller podcasts that didn't quite make it into my top 100 but I still think you should check out:This is why you're single, Doughboys, Do By Friday, Hopefully We Don't Break-Up, Roundtable of Gentlemen, Mental Illness Happy Hour, Sleepycast, James O'Brien's Mystery Hour, Nocturne Podcast, Quirks and Quarks, Put Your Hands Together, Book Shambles, Sex & Other Human Activities, Singing Bones, A Taste of the Past, We Fact Up, The Bridge, Step By Stapp, Return Home, Movie Sign with the Mads, Save it for the Show, The F Plus, Next Picture Show, Be Here For a While, Code Breaker, GoosebudsOk, with no further ado . . .The List: In reverse order100. I Tell My Husband the News, A news-reporter reads current headlines to her husband, who is a comedian. Not exactly cutting edge satire, but I love this show for the hosts' chemistry. They are super in love and incredibly cute together. They just make me happy. And their banter is usually legitimately funny.99. You Must Remember This, True stories from old hollywood narrated over lush, old-fashioned movie music. The stories are great and give you a window into the crazy world of movies in the black and white era.98. 8-Bit Book Club, Three funny nerds read through old novelizations of video games. The books are ridiculous and the hosts make fun of them mercilessly. Great host chemistry. Tons of fun.97. Lore, Solo podcast exploring the stories and legends all around us. A tightly written and moodily produced show focused on the tall tales woven into our history.96. Longform, Long conversations with writers of non-fiction. Good host and really interesting conversations. A bit slow compared to most of my other podcasts, but satisfying.95. Superego, Very strange, slightly off-putting, free-association improv comedy. When it's bad it's just weird, when it's good it's magical.94. Our Fake History, Single host show exploring misconceptions and pseudo-history. Like a Hardcore History for things that didn't actually happen. Host is great and topics are usually very interesting.93. I Was There Too, Interviews with non-famous people who in some way worked on iconic scenes in famous movies. Fascinating if, like me, you have a love for pop-culture arcana.92. Shut Up and Sit Down, Four British comedians talk about and occasionally play board games. Lot of fun, and a lot of goofballery. I don't play a lot of boardgames, but I've bought several because these guys made them sound fun.91. I Saw That Years Ago, Two witty guys talk about movies they don't quite remember. The concept doesn't actually do much, this show is all about the chemistry between the hosts which is fantastic.90. Duncan Trussel Family Hour, Comedian Duncan Trussel invites guests on for long rambling conversations. Stands out for Duncan's odd choice of guests and the unique, weird nature of the conversations he engages them in.89. The Adventure Zone, Goofy brothers play Dungeons & Dragons. Took me several tries to get into this show (beginning's a little rough and I don't play D&D.) But I kept giving it chances because of some strong recommendations, and it does blossom into some really unique storytelling.88. Planet Money, Very NPR show about money and our world and the interplay between economics and our daily life. Fun and listenable in spite of the dreary subject matter. Has some really great education about dollars and cents that we really should all be listening to.87. Giant Bombcast, The crew of a gaming magazine get together and shoot the shit about games, life and everything in a long and rambling discussion.86. Burnt Toast, Conversations and researched features on food, food culture, and it's relationship to daily life. Lovingly produced and charmingly performed. An absoulte delight.85. Fireside Mystery Theatre, Storytelling and variety show done in front of a live audience. The stories are usually a lot of fun, and the theatre atmosphere adds a fun unique quality to it.84. Opening Arguments, A lawyer and a comedian chat about the law. Sort of like Star Talk, but for legal questions. The hosts perfectly hit the balance of informative and engaging. Law affects all our daily lives and it's something that most people know bupkis about, and I love that this show does a great job of making it accessible.83. Comedy Bang! Bang!, One of the old staples of podcasting. Loose format comedy show usually involving interviews followed by some light improv. Still a great show after all these years.82. The Black Tapes, Ghost stories, but in the form of a "non-fiction" journalistic podcast. Really well-told with a dark and brooding tone. A weaker second season has dropped it in my esteem but still great.81. Never Not Funny, Comedian plus celbrity guest ramble on about nothing in particular. Jimmy Pardo is a great host and has a wonderfully cutting sense of humor. One of the longest running big podcasts. Very rarely not funny.80. Leicester Square Theatre Podcast, Comedian Richard Herring does one-on-one interviews with comedians in which he asks them stupid and ridiculous questions. Throws out the formal interview format and just has fun. Having a big live audience elevates it.79. Rocket, A few tech journalists run a show about general geek topics, with an emphasis on tech. Perfect balance of smart informational chat and good host chemistry.78. We're Alive, Audiodrama about a Zombie infestation. Very good writing and acting and probably the best-produced serial scripted story podcast. Great use of tension throughout.77. Greg Proops Film Club, I've always loved Greg Proops' wacky smart-guy comedy, but his main podcast doesn't work for me as well as this one, where the theme of chatting about movies and geekery keeps him more on task. And through all the joking, he has a lot more interesting stuff to say than most of the serious movie podcasts.76. Harmontown, Comedy writer Dan Harmon plus friends talk nonsense and generally have fun. Mostly funny with occasional seriousness. Harmon is a great lovable asshole and the podcast format is perfect for him. Does fun and interesting things with the basic talk-show format.75. Smash Cut, Storytelling via dialogue collage. Wonderfully unique show that ranges from gripping to tragic to avant-guard. May be too weird for some, but hits a sweetspot for me.74. Desert Island Discs, Celebrities are interviewed with the same question: If you were stuck on a desert island, what five albums would you want to have with you. Mostly a conversation about music, but it expands into a bigger conversation about the guest's life and influences.73. No Such Thing As a Fish, The writers of a British trivia show go into depth on the obscure knowledge they've been researching and ramble on about arcane knowledge. Smart people chatting casually about smart things. Usually very interesting to listen to.72. Blank Check, Movie discussion pod that perfectly hits the balance between smart discussion and levity. The premise is talking about director's who get license to do whatever they want (the titular blank check), but it's really a pretty freewheeling conversation. Phenomenal chemistry between the hosts.71. The Future of Everything, Wall Street Journal's interesting impecabbly researched radio-style features on technologies and ideas that are pushing our world into an uncertain future.70. The Memory Palace, Bite sized stories from 18th - 20th century history, told with interest and pathos. Focusing on the human story behind the story of our recent past.69. The Orbiting Human Circus of the Air, Silly absurdist storytelling about a radio show that records in the Eiffel Tower. This show is not for everyone, but if it hooks you it is delightful and charming and always a joy to listen to.68. Imaginary Worlds, Serious discussions exploring the quirky little details of the worlds of popular fantasy and sci-fi franchises. Done as a host monologue, interspersed with interviews of experts and fans. I love the way he parses out interesting aspects of those worlds and tries to envision how they would really work.67. Hello From the Magic Tavern, Improv comedy set in a fantasy world with a diverse cast of funny improvisers playing far-out fantastical characters. Solidly funny and always fun to disappear into their goofy mythical world.66. The Joe Rogan Experience, Interview show with all types of guests. One of the most succesful podcasts in the world. It's a bit love-it-or-hate-it, and while I mostly love it, it can get on my nerves at times. Very hard for me to rank this one for that reason. But I must say Joe Rogan is a great interviewer and everyone should give it a try for themselves and find out which side they fall on.65. In Our Time, Big, heavy intellectual discussions of very serious topics in history, art and culture. This one might be a bit too smart for me, tbh, but I try and when I can hook into a topic it's immensely satisfying.64. Hello Internet, Two internet smart guys chat casually about smart and obscure subjects. There's actually not that much to this show, but the hosts are great and they have a very unique chemistry.63. The Infinite Monkey Cage, British-style panel show where a couple comedians and a couple scientists get together an tackle a difficult science topic and try to find answer. Unlike a lot of science shows, they don't shy away from talking actual science, but the chemistry of the hosts keeps the show always entertaining.62. Wolf 359, Narrative sci-fi podcast. Intriguing space travel story with a quirky sense of humor and good sound design to create a solid sense of atmosphere. Starts simple and blossoms into an awesome story.61. The Thrilling Adventure Hour, Comedians do a parody of an old-fashioned radio play in front of a live audience. So much fun. Best moments are when it breaks down. Was dead for a long time but there have been recent occasional releases so I'm considering it alive and putting it on this list.60. Doug Loves Movies, Comedian Doug Benson has several celebrity guests on each episode to talk movies and play games. The quintessential podcast for me. Slightly too lose and quirky to ever have worked as a radio show. Usually funny and always fun.59. a16z, Science and Tech podcast with interviews of actual scientists doing cutting edge work. Can be a bit dry, but I love how in depth it is, and that it doesn't dumb it down to a grade school level like a lot of similar shows.58. The Football Ramble, Four dudes with amazing chemistry talking bullshit and football (soccer) and just generally mocking each other and having a blast while doing it. I listen to a lot of sports podcasts but few are so good (and general-audience friendly enough) that I would recommend them to all podcast listeners. But this one is just tons of fun.57. Theory of Everything, Loose think-pieceish conversations about life and technology and the connections between things. Really interesting and well thought-out.56. The Truth, Short non-serial audio dramas. Stories range from serious to silly, often strange and off-kilter. Very well produced and performed, but the best part is the writing, which is awesomely creative and interesting.55. Reply All, One of many thinkpiece shows on this list. This one sets itself apart by focusing on internet-related stories. There's a whimsical nature to the hosts which gives the show a unique sort of charm.54. Spontaneanation, Paul F Tompkins has an interview with a famous person and then leads a long-form improv scene. Usually very funny simply because Tompkins is so funny.53. Candidate Confessionals, Interviews with losing candidates (or people who worked on losing campaigns) done as sort-of autobiographies telling the story of how a campaign fails. Fascinating deconstruction of politics from a new angle. Refreshingly honest at times.52. Mouth Time!, Absurdist show that parodies the vapid beauty mag culture but taken to the extreme. Part way between absurdism, improv comedy, and an actual pop cultuer podcast.51. The Black List Table Read, Audio performances of industry movie scripts that haven't gotten made. The concept is fabulous and the actors do a great job. Unique storytelling podcast with wonderful production. Some of the scripts are really great. Held back a bit by the fact that movie scripts aren't always written to be read out loud.50. 2 Dope Queens, Two sassy ladies host a comedy podcast with guests that chat with them or do their stand-up acts. Love the energy of the hosts. Generally great when the guests are good.49. Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, Two divinity professors use their techniques of scholarly bibilcal analysis on the Harry Potter books. Silly concept but they take it completely seriously. The result is part deep textual dive into the Potter-verse, and part reflection/conversation on life in general. Wonderfully introspective. Somehow both heavy and light at the same time.48. Monday Morning Podcast, Weekly show of the ramblings of comedian Bill Burr. Zero production or planning, just unfiltered Bill, who delivers the entire show in his trademark angry monologue. Usually funny, but that's not the reason it made this list: What makes this show stand out for me is its personal and honest nature. If you can get past Burr's abrassiveness, definitely worth a listen.47. The Adam Buxton Podcast, Comedian interviews celebrities. It's hard to stand out in this crowded genre, but this show does due to the host's magnetism and energy, and the quirkiness of the show's production, with little songs throughout (including the ads), and lots of silly digressions. And at it's heart, Adam is an excelent interviewer who gets a lot out of his guest.46. Anxious Machine, Introspective think-pieces about the human mind and how it works in human society. Usually done through interview intersperced with host commentary. The stories sit in a sweetspot between the personal and the general in a unique way.45. The Flop House, Three guys watch a bad movie and talk about it. The real joy, though, is in the constant flights of fancy when they say something dumb or misspeak that cascade into jokes that they follow to their logical conclusion. At its best it’s a top 10 podcast, but I feel like its lost some of its fastball lately, so its fallen on my list.44. Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast, I think Gottfried is one of the funniest guys in show business. This is his interview show, where he talks mostly to comedians, mostly about comedy. If you can handle his voice, it's a really wonderful show.43. Laser Time, Friends shooting the shit is probably the most common podcast genre, and one that I listen to a lot of, but not a lot of those made this list because while they may be listenable, they are rarely notable. Laser Time is a major exception in that the chemisty of the hosts and the odd specificity of the pop culture arcana they talk about makes the show consistently fun and fascinating.42. How did this get Made?, Three comedians and a guest review bad films. This show might be lost among the sea of decent/good comedy podcasts if not for the work of Jason Mantzoukas, who is imo the funniest man in podcasting.41. This Feels Terrible, Comedienne interviews other comedians about dating and love and relationships. Host has a lovely easy style that is good for getting people talking about really personal stuff. Has great chemistry with most guests.40. Beef and Dairy Network Podcast, Comedy podcast pretending (with a completely straight face) to be an actual beef and dairy specialty pod. The result is very high-quality absurdist comedy.39. Here's The Thing, Alec Baldwin interviews celebrities. The tone is very NPR but Baldwin keeps it a bit tighter than your average radio show. TBH, most of the time when a famous person decides they want a podcast the show ends up sucking hard, but Baldwin is a charming and natural host and consitently gets great guests. I know some people hate this show but I find it consistently great.38. My Favorite Murder, Two entertaining women talk through and dissect the details of a real-life grisly murder and generally try and figure out whodunit. Keep it pretty light considering how serious the subject matter is but it works because of how fun and interesting the hosts are. (Though it is guilty of my biggest podcast pet-peeve: Taking forever to start the show.)37. The Bugle, News and Politics satire with an absurdist twist. Three years ago this was a top-5 podcast for me and then they went on a long hiatus and lost John Oliver. Still great and slowly working its way back up the ranks.36. Guys We Fucked, Filthy comedy show that's secretly a positive look at serious issues relating to sexuality. The hosts have a good time and keep it light. Their chemistry makes the show great.35. Common Sense, Very heady current events discussion from an outside-the-box perspective. The host is a provocateur who tries to challenge your preconceptions about government and society. I don't always agree with him but he always opens my eyes at the gaps in my own thinking.34. Revisionist History, Malcolm Gladwell's odd little examinations of historical events from a new perspective are fantastic. The first season was very well-thought out, although still finding it's voice. I was very glad that it returned in time to have enough episodes to make itself elligible for this list.33. Love + Radio, Interesting people tell their stories in extended, tightly edited interviews. The people are usually non-famous people who have done remarkable things in their lives. Good production and good stories.32. 99% Invisible, Little think pieces about design and it's role in our everyday life. Impecably researched and always interesting, with a wonderfully charming delivery from its host.31. The Hilarious World of Depression, Comedian interviews comedians about depression and how it shapes their lives. Genius concept that perfectly hits the sweetspot of using humor to enlighten dark subjects. Fairly new and still finding its feet, but already one of my favorite shows.30. Radiolab, Reporters explore fascinating and mysterious stories usually in the realm of science and nature and wind their way to answers in a series of tightly cut together interviews. Really tightly produced (sometimes too much so) and very well researched, this show is one of the most iconic podcasts in the medium.29. Death, Sex & Money, Very personal stories about the big decisions in everyday people's lives, done in interviews in a journalistic style. Very heavy sometimes, but really great. Really digs into the real stuff in people's lives.28. You Made it Weird, Very long in-depth celebrity interviews with comedian Pete Holmes as host. A mirror-universe version of WTF, with a young-happy host rather than an angry older one. This doesn't have the same bite as WTF, but it replaces it with a wonderful sense of joy. Both hosts have mastered the art of the long interview.27. Reveal, Serious journalism, but with a slightly more of a conversational tone and more production to make it a more entertaining version of a news show. Nevertheless, the subject matter is heavy, and often deadly serious.26. Overdue, A couple funny dudes talk through great classic novels while riffing and making jokes. Spot-on chemistry and a perfect combination of high-brow art and low-brow comedy.25. Relic Radio, I love that podcasts are bringing back the audiodrama, an artform basically dead for forty years. But few of the new ones can match the originals, back when there was a big industry of daily and weekly shows and hundreds of professional actors and writers churning them out. Relic Radio lovingly curates from over 30 years of successful but forgotten shows to present them to a modern audience. The stories, while old-fashioned, are amazing, well-performed and fully produced with original music.24. Savage Lovecast, Call-in advice show about love, sex and life. Whet sets it apart is the kind and charismatic host, who has a gift for cutting to the heart of complex questions. Advice shows are a bit overdone, but he manages to elevate the format with his frankness and his ability to connect the problems we have in our loves, to larger questions we have about our selves.23. Crimetown, In depth audio documentary on organized crime in a big city (season 1 was on Providence.) Really well told story that feels tight and informative, while staying entertaining, mostly because the stories themselves are so engaging.22. Modern Love, Essays and stories about love in the modern world, read by famous actors. The pieces themselves are incredible, both joyful and heart-wrending. They often interview the author after, which sometimes makes me wish they would just have the author read it (due to the personal nature of the stories.)21. Wooden Overcoats, Scripted comedic audiodrama about competing funeral homes on a small British island. Very witty. Wonderfully funny and charming. Has probably the best character voice acting in scripted podcasts.20. Invisibilia, This podcast describes itself somewhat grandly as exploring the invisible things that shape everyday life. What it is, is a damn good radio-style interview think-piece show, with an emphasis on the patterns of human behavior. I love the light touch that the hosts give to the show. With a penchant for giving more questions than answers (in a good way).19. The Best Show with Tom Scharpling, Cult show that started in radio over a decade ago and slowly got weirder as it went. It's an ironic impersonation of a radio call-in show. This is definitely not for everyone; many of you will hate this show. But if you like it you will likely end up loving it. The host is a mad genius of twisting the radio format without ever totally breaking it. Best known for insulting and abusing his call-in listeners.18. WTF, An angry old comedian interviews famous people in great depth. Marc Maron's gift is in getting people speaking from the heart, and in breaching personal subjects that don't usually get talked about in interviews. WTF is often funny, usually fascinating and occasionally heartbreaking.17. Alice Isn't Dead, Weird, creepy, wonderfully produced and performed fictional story about a woman on a journey to find someone she lost. Uniquely moody and moving. Poetic to the point that it might be considered self-indulgent, so it might not be for everyone. But if you dive in, it's an incredible journey.16. The Moth, Personal stories told by a wide set of writers in front of a live audience. Usually funny and often touching in a smart-NewYorker-piece sort of way. Curated from a larger set of stories, and it shows: The stories are more consistently good than most of these types of shows.15. The Church of What's Happening Now, Comedian Joey Coco Diaz plus guest (usually comedians) trade life-stories. Diaz is really funny, as are most of his guests, but what stands out is Diaz's unique comedic voice and how he can talk about the really heavy stuff in his life in a funny way. And he is just overflowing with stories. He has had a crazy life.14. Strangers, Tough, beautiful personal stories examined in interviews with leather-voiced Lea Thau (I mean that in a good way: love her voice, it's like a smoked Nina Simone). It's like little audio documentaries about everyday people who have been through extraordinary personal turmoil. Beautiful stories, beautifully told.13. The Mortified Podcast, Grown-ups read their childhood journals to a live audience along with embarassing stories and memories about being kids. On one level it's really funny to hear their skewed childhood perceptions but also there's something amazingly cathartic about sharing in the embarassment. At least for me, being able to laugh at it makes me feel better about my own messed up childhood, and realize that all the stuff I was trying to hide, is the exact same stuff that everyone else was feeling as well.12. Snap Judgment, Great true-stories told by the people who lived through them, over some sick beats and tight riffs, all pulled together by my favorite host in podcasting.11. Here Be Monsters, Wonderful stories about suffering and hate and love and all the crazy things that are going on in the human soul. Told mostly through solo interviews with lightly intersperced music and production. The show is very heavy, but very listenable and very real.10. The Film Reroll, Rotating crew of actors and comedians pick a famous movie and improvise a new version of it with license that anything can happen. Hilarity ensues. The new movies are sublime and ridiculous and often better than the original. They use a dice system to run their stories like a game so they can't decide in advance what will happen. Brilliant concept, perfectly executed. Probably the most pure fun in podcasting.9. This American Life, Pastiche of stories about the American experience, told in a jounalistic style through interviews. Sometimes sad, sometimes joyful, always interesting. Many smarter things have been said about this show than I can say. Many of the podcasts on this list are in response to or immitation of This American Life, but the original continues to be one of the best examples of the format.8. Risk!, Similar to the Moth, people come on to tell their personal stories. I go back and forth between the two of them as to which I like more. Where the Moth has stories that are more cleverly written, this show feels more real and visceral. The storytellers are less likely to be writers, so we get less polished stories. But this show ultimately gets the nod for me with going to dark places of profound personal drama. Varies greatly in tone from episode to episode, but has been consistently great for a long time now.7. My Dad Wrote a Porno, A host and his two friends go chapter-by-chapter through his dad's erotic novel, constantly disecting and laughing about the bizarre and terrible writing. This might honestly be the funniest show in podcasting right now. And while it's mostly light-hearted humor, there's something very compelling about the bizarre view into a man's relationship with his father that comes out from the show's premise.6. Beautiful/Anonymous, Long phone conversations with anonymous callers who tell personal stories about their lives. The host is a comedian, but he doesn't try to be funny most of the time, keeping a balance between respecting the story and injecting levity when needed. Brilliantly simple yet unique concept and executed perfectly.5. Welcome to Nightvale, Bizarre, absurdist poeetry, delivered hypnotically in the form of a local radio bulletin, mixed with wonderful music for ambience and as breaks in the main show. Welcome to Nightvale is honestly pretty hard to describe. It's funny and dark and compelling and weird all at once. It's completely unique, and it's definitely not for everyone, but if it's for you, it's can be transformative.4. Song Exploder, Musicians break down the making of their songs, pulling out and explaining individual tracks and showing you how the song works piece by piece and ultimately how they work. Lovely and unique podcast for music lovers and noobies alike.3. PRI's the World, You could argue this is the best show in podcasting and it's basically a news show, but not your typical cable news fare. Reporters go around the globe and go in depth with local topics and how they affect the world and what they mean to all of us. These are all human stories, with all the pathos and weight of great fiction, but done in interview with real people. Heavy show but very listenable in spite of the seriousness.2. Criminal, Stories at the extremes of the human experience, told through interviews in a semi-journalistic style. Perfect blend of story-telling and introspection. Captures these wonderfully twisted stories with a matter-of-fact style that succeeds in putting you in the shoes of the people in the stories, and make you reconsider your preconceptions about the topic. Love the pacing and music on this show as well. Perfectly produced.1. Hardcore History, Powerful stories from the past, told passionately and intelligently. Dan Carlin has a gift for the dramatic, keeping the narrative human and personal while still showing you the great sweep of history. At its heart it's just great epic storytelling, you could easily forget that it's technically learning. But then he'll make some point that makes you realize these were real people with real feelings, and these stories created the world as we live in it. This show awakened in me a totally new understanding of our world. In spite of how many podcasts I listen to, it was pretty easy to choose which one I feel is the best. Warning: very long episodes.EDIT: Formatting via /r/podcasts

#IFTTT #reddit

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sveasauvageon · 4 years

Photo

I can't go when you look this freaking beautiful || GW

☾♔; March 14, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: idk ☾♔; comedian otd: idk ☾♔; GW: Side Character Audition ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/XSTtMc ☾♔; mod(s): @themadmonarchist @maybones et moi

FINALLY DONE WITH THIS

Me every time Russia sends a "love, love, peace, peace" type song to Eurovision: *rolls on the floor laughing my arse off and literally dying from the irony*

GW SIDE CHARACTER TEMPLATE

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Viggo Asbjörn Rasmus Sauvageon, (21)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Un jour je suis prédateur ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Un jour je suis la proie ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Un jour j'ai chaud au cœur ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Un jour j'ai tellement froid ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀-⠀Au Coeur de moi - Amir

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ THE BASICS

Nickname: Vig, V/Vi, Vígi, storebror (Svea and Lili) Gender: cis-male Date of Birth: December 24 Place of Birth: Lake Mälaren (it's in Enköping, and next to the Sauvageon estate. He was born in an underwater cave) Nationality: Swedish Ethnicity: caucasian (swedish/frankish descent), also half-fish person. Accent: Swedish Blood Status: half-blood/half-breed, he's half-merperson (hey, theoretically, it's possible in the wizarding world, plus, see; Shape of Water, The. 😛)

Profession: Curse-Breaker for Rökstenen Wizarding Bank (the Swedish counterpart to Gringotts)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Mooms-mooms, I mean Måns Zelmerlöw

Hair: short, black, sometimes dark brown, soft

Eyes: brown, turn into a deep sea-green when he's angry or feeling like a huge surge of love (as in the emotion, don't be gross, also, not limited to romantic love, basically any love that would qualify for "save the world" level up's in anime characters)

Height: 1.74 m/5'7"-ish (he's so short, I mean, I can't really judge being a measly 5'2", but still)

Weight: idk

Body: slim, fit, super hot swede, wannabe James Bond tbh (did he dreaming of being bond as a child? Maybe.)

Any Scars/ Marks?: not scars exactly, but he has sort of scale-like cravings. Like groves in a stone wall, except on his skin and in the shape of scales. He has a large section on the right side of his rib cage, left shoulder blade going down in a slight diagonal angle to the right back of his hips (decreasing in amount as it moves down his back), left angle, and left wrist.

Any Tattoos/ Piercings?: n/a

Quirks/ Mannerisms: - not really a mannerism of his, but always ends up as a thing for Svea to lean on, since they're basically the same height, and in heels, she's taller than him.

Style: as "erratic" as his cousin's, but generally well-tailored, and figure-flattering. Likes wearing shirts that are a bit too tight (ala Marvel superhero tight), but generally walks around either in suits and ties, or a superhero shirt (as in the fit and not a graphic tee) and jeans. Favours Dolce & Gabbana, Ralph Lauren, Burberry, and Guess (because he's a fu.cking nerd).

Additional Information:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PERSONALITY:

Head cannon: Super dorky, super cute. Like Svea, he's super Swedish (ie liberal socialist), but he's a lot nicer and pleasant (well, she's not, not nice, but she's also not nice, ya feel?, less elitist is the phrase I'm looking for). Literally sunshine, he's pleasant and joyful and a lot of fun, somewhat reckless, quite a mess, very loveable. Tiny bit of a wh.o.re (manwhøre, yes, but why do men get a different word that doesn't really have a negative connotation), he's never single. He's always dating someone or "causally" seeing someone. The longest he's been single (since joining the dating game) is a week.

Personality (+ 5, - 5): dork, nerd, smarter than he looks/acts, playful, thrives in stressful situations, prefers to have leadership "thrust" upon rather than actively seek it out, sweet, thoughtful, bad at flirting (seriously, it's embarrassing), lazy magic user (like that stupid scene in fantastic beasts when Tina's sister used magic instead of just sliding her hands into the fu.cking robe herself, that's mooms-mooms. I mean Vig), more vain than he cares to admit (spends a surprising amount of time on his hair every morning), act first-think later type of idiot (will jump into a dark tomb for the # adventure without even checking for curses first), adventurous, reckless, silly, quick on his feet, adaptable, resourceful, loyal, protective (though, usually it's him getting protected, he's more of a sweet summer child with a somewhat hidden armour of steel, valyrian steel)

Any mental health issues: - bursts into eurovision songs spontaneously, usually with Svea. Like, it's technically not an illness, but at this point, I'm pretty sure I've got it.

Favorite Quotes/ Sayings that your character would use: - "I am Thor, God of Hammers." (Probs Syn: You are Vígi, god of the losers) - "I miss when I had two feet of authority over you." (To Svea, also Syn tbh, pretty she and Svea are the same height) - "you wanna be my Waterloo?" (Vig, attempting to flirt. Tbh, Svea would say the same thing. They have a Eurovision problem) - "a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor" (someone off in the background: you're half-fish, and a curse-breaker)

Additional Information: - I was originally thinking of "Au coeur de moi" as his theme song, but it's so definitely "I can't go on" by Robin Bengtsson

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ BIOGRAPHY

Relation to your OC: paternal cousin, like once removed? No, twice removed. he's the son of her grandfather's sister's son.

♣️ Family Background

:: House of Sauvageon ::

The Sauvageon's are a very family old wizarding family, they were originally French, and later immigrated to Sweden in the late 1700's. Unlike most ancient wizarding families (particularly the British ones), they have never shied away from breeding with muggles and muggleborns, often gaining the label of "blood traitor" from the British families, but they're Swedish, and blood density is irrelevant there. There are as liberal and socialist as their country. Despite being loathed by the blood purist-type families, they are still approached very few generations for marital matches, as they are exceedingly wealthy and when the aforementioned house runs out of options.

One could say he's from a branch family, they're no longer the main family, technically, but are still closely related and also still have the same name. So it's more like a developing branch family. His grandmother (Frida) was Svea's grandfather's (Ludvig's) younger sister, so I think that makes them cousin's twice removed? Or is it three times? I don't know, this sht always confuses me (in my defense, I do have around 6000 cousins, and I don't know how I'm related to any of them. Not even joking about that tbh).

Sauvageon aesthetics (with a tiny bit about both Vig and Svea's maternal families, still editing it though): https://goo.gl/u4nRiU

--only father-side relations listed here-- ▪️ Father: Acke Bengt Adrian Sauvageon | Alex Jennings | 56 | former socialite (kind of missing, lives underwater)

▪️ Grandmother: Eira Katja Karita Sauvageon | n/a | deceased former politician (in the muggle world, rose to mayor of Enköping)

▪️ Grandfather: Danil Benjamin Sauvageon née Vengerbojrn | n/a | deceased (muggle businessman - ran KronLund, which specialized in developing luxury estates, hosting events, and owns far too many wineries. He changed his surname upon marrying Eira, half-Icelandic)

▪️ Uncle (father's brother): Edvard Ragnvald Fritjof Sauvageon | n/a | missing, disappeared whilst exploring Geiranger Fjord in Norway

▪️ Cousin (closer than Svea and Lili, biologically): Frej Egil Fredrik Sauvageon Bernadotte, Duke of Västergötland | Matthew Goode | 36 | businessman/royal consort (took up control of KronLund after Danil's death, later married the crown princess of Sweden and added her house's name to his. All children of the marriage shall take the name of the royal house)

▪️ Cousin-in-law: Crown Princess Kristina Ulrika Viktoria Margareta of the House of Bernadotte, Duchess of Västergötland | Vanessa Kirby | 32 | heir apparent to the Swedish Throne

Main Sauvageon family/extended family: ▪️ Great-uncle: Ludvig Sauvageon | Patrick Stewart ▪️ Great-aunt-in-law: Linnéa Sauvageon | Judi Dench ▪️ Uncle: Petter Sauvageon | Colin Firth ▪️ Aunt-in-law: Iliana Drubetskaya | Lena Headey ▪️ Cousin: Svea Sauvageon | Cara Delevingne ▪️ Cousin: Lena Sauvageon | Dafne Keen ▪️ Aunt: Brigitta Sauvageon | Gillian Anderon ▪️ Uncle: Kåre Sauvageon | James D'Arcy

:: Maternal "family" :: A merwoman calling herself "Freyja", whilst he's visited his mother and her "family" many times, he's still not quite clear about which merpeople in the Lake he's related to, and which not, nor even how he was born (*cough* conceived but ew *cough*). They basically just sing and sht when he's underwater, and then he goes up, kind of in a haze and with a mild euphoric feeling, like he's been drugged.

Although he doesn't know much about his mer-family, according to Swedish mermaid legends, they're known for helping lost sailors and are generally considered a friendly peoples. They largely help deal with the lake's grindylow population.

♣️ Family Affiliation: Swedish Ministry of Magic, Durmstrang Institute of Magic (not a happy association, but it's their homeschool, and most Sauvageon's have attended it, including Vig himself), House of Bernadotte, House of Châteaudun (and their successive houses), and the Riddarhuset (The House of Nobility in Sweden -- don't really have any power or special tax exemptions anymore, basically protection of historical titles and coat of arms), Rökstenen (that's more his personal affiliation though, since banks are seperate entites run by goblins who employ some humans)

♣️ Socio-economic status: meh. He technically has a lot of money via family, and earns quite a sum from Rökstenen, but he's one of those rich people who are oblivious to how much things cost (making him slightly disaffected, though, in his defense, he was rasied in palace, basically)

Quick facts: Vig was born underwater in Lake Mälaren to Acke Sauvageon and a merperson who calls herself "Freyja", they're still not sure if it's her real name. He was born with mostly the physical features of a regular human, so he was taken above water to be raised by the Sauvageon's, his father, however, remained underwater (originally he sustained himself via gilly weed and the bubble head charm, but eventually became an animagus and lives as a blue tang because Dory). Closest in age to Svea out of her generation of Savaugeon's, they essentially grew up as siblings, and even attended muggle school together for a time before it was time for him to go to Durmstrang. To say he did not like it there would be an understatement, he nearly flunked out of his dark arts classes out of pure protest, but later actually tried since the information would come in handy when he decided he wanted to be curse breaker. In his 6th year, he attempted to petition the school to change their rules and let muggle-borns in, but lacked support from his fellow students and was ultimately unsuccessful.

Additional Information: n/a

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ HOGWARTS INFORMATION Hogwarts Stats: N/A

Whilst a (half-)wizard, Vig did not attend Hogwarts, but instead went to the Scandi homeschool; Durmstrang. Like the other Sauvageon's who attended Durmstrang (as well as Swedes in general, because JKR didn't even fu.cking google Sweden before making it the Scandi school, it's a socialist country, and unlike Denmark and Norway, isn't allergic to migrants!), anyway, like the other Sauvageon's and Swedes, he did not like the school, especially it's attitude towards muggles and muggle-borns (his own grandfather being a muggle). Despite his hatred of the school, he did well, earning the equivalents of Outstandings and Excellents in his exams. Svea jokes that he would've been an "uncool Hufflepuff" (probs would've been in Ravenclaw though, he's smarter than he looks. And acts).

Any Pets?: does Lili count? Not really, she'd reducto his as.s if he said to her face.

Reputation at Hogwarts: doesn't really have one, he only shows up to the events that open to non-students/family, and would really only interact with friends of Svea and/or the Lothbroks. I guess his rep would be "hot dude that sometimes shows up". Also, just to be clear, he literally has nothing to do with the Hogwarts social hierarchy (just in case anyone got confused).

Additional Information:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ INDIVIDUAL MAGIC

Wand: Rosewood Wand Core: Unicorn hair Wand Length: 10½" Wand Flexibility: Swishy Patronus: Arctic Fox Boggart: drowning (appears as his almost-corpse, like pale and wet, but like seizing and struggling to breath) Amortentia: burning wood (like the scent that arises from a bonfire), cinnamon, sea salt Affinity to any particular magic?: not exactly, but he's naturally drawn towards water related spells and sea type plants. It's not super special, they were just the easiest for him to learn and work with when he was still in school, having completed his education, he's perfectly skilled with other stuff now too. Additional Information: - great singer both above and underwater, underwater it becomes more ethereal, known to occasionally leave listeners with an ecstatic, somewhat loopy feeling, like marijuana does to muggles - he's incapable of performing any of the unforgiveable curses.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ USER INFORMATION

Username: @drownedinmoonlight Activity Level (Scale 1-10): 8

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ OPTIONAL Playlist: Moodboard: Social Media (instagram, facebook, snapchat, twitter, etc) : Storyboard: Aesthetic Collection: Wardrobe/Style Collection: Plotting Set: Story:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

When you have completed the audition, please tag the mods: @.drownedinmoonlight @.themadmonarchist and @.maybones and use the hashtag #GWnpc

Also, don't forget to add it to the group. Happy character creation!

#polyvore #audition #mine #gw #viggo sauvageon #template

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