#and also now i'm emo again bc i just realized he got outed as an omega to his school at the end when he was trying to hide it

[lokislytherin]

random lookism q for you! which 2 characters (ideally those who barely have any interaction) would you want to see interact more? :)

hello jann i have so many combos how am i supposed to pick. ur so determined to make me write essays huh /j you know what im just gonna make this jay & various lookism characters that i wanna see him interact with bc he's been missing for so long this is my copium that he's been here all along

jay & mira

they are the housewives waiting for their husbands to come back from the war dynamic, but in jay's case he joined the war as a medic who can also fight on the frontlines bc he missed daniel. i like to think during the period of time their boys were gone, jay and mira became closer bc they were both lonely. think about it - daniel is undoubtedly jay's best friend and literally jay's only friend, while zack and mira have such a long history and the requited pining they have is so intense.

just imagine having to suffer through school alone... hence mira struck up a conversation (even tho she had no idea how to understand jay), and now they're kind of friends. maybe they're lonely bc they miss their boos but they're lonely together now, which makes things a lot better. mira still doesn't quite understand jay, but she Gets the pining, so that's a start. she doesn't know whether to root for emo introvert jay to get with daniel or social butterfly zoe, so for now she's just hoping they'll end up in a polyamorous relationship bc she doesn't want her friends to end up with broken hearts. according to zack (who finds the time to text her whenever he can bc he misses her a lot and his current canon break is bc they're hanging out like the lovebirds they are), daniel has also been picking up boyfriends left and right so the daniel ship might actually have more people than she originally thought, actually.

also they bond over fashion, because mira thinks jay needs to expand his closet. all jay has is designer suits (and the occasional biker jacket) and mira is the god of thrifting and cute fits! if you want the j high fashion boys in cute Normal People (read: proletariat) fits mira is your go-to

2. jay & zoe

once again, housewives waiting for their husband to come back from the war dynamic, but they've got the same dynamic. they are the co-captains of the daniel fan club and they constantly fight for first place. zoe is losing (because she's been away from canon even longer than jay) and she hates it (it's okay. she's realizing daniel is a very good friend, who is coincidentally very hot, but that's he's not exactly boyfriend material for her, for some reason. he's so bestie-coded).

zoe has 0 idea what jay's thinking 50% of the time, the other 50% of the time jay just goes :( so she just Knows he's thinking of daniel and missing him bc yeah. she does that too. it's just more obvious with jay because he doesn't show his eyes and that reduces his expression ability by a lot bc he's the most expressive with daniel, and when daniel's not there he's just _ . not even -_- he's just _ because he doesn't show his eyes so zoe can't even begin guessing what he's thinking. mira only gets him bc she's got the Nice Person Telepathy (it's called years of dealing with tsuntsun zack = pro body language reader)

i'm not gonna lie about jay he's very competitive towards her bc in his eyes zoe has a bigger chance than crystal? mainly bc crystal is so mean to daniel homegirl has 'Men DNI' in her eyes she exudes that energy while jay is hong jay homosexual gay and he's like yo. daniel please look over. hot boy in the area.

jay has never thought of out-sexy-ing zoe tho. zoe's assets are her medium is premium booba (she's only b cup but south korean average cup size is like a small a) and all jay has is his flat chest. even lookism tumblr barely believed in his booba until 2% of almost 300 people suddenly went actually it exists

3. jay & ryuhei

blond 🤝 motorbike 🤝 bathrobe + bath lovers (ryuhei is The Biggest onsen lover and you can fight me on this + jay is canonical bath haver) 🤝 in love with a dark haired person who will probably never look at them the way they want them to.

i hc they actually met once while being on their bikes, but both of them had their helmets on (bc safety first! daniel/mitsuki would be sad/annoyed if they died riding their bikes which is not ideal). ryuhei nodded over like 'yo nice ducati dugati bro' and jay nodded back like 'thanks bro' and it was a moment of Mutual Understanding bc of Biker Language

also i just really wanna know how they would interact in canon? my hc of them meeting was off-screen bc i'm sure both of them have more to do with their lives but what if they fought each other. weapon user to weapon user. kali arnis user jay vs ryuhei with his chain bat. two blond boys trying to bonk each other to death until they realize they're both simps actually. and then they bond via trash talk (ryuhei) and getting triggered every time ryuhei mentions romance (jay) and then bonk each other some more bc NO WAY THIS WEIRDO IS NOT MY KINNIE

4. jay & samuel seo

sanest person in the verse fights complete utter nutjob, but both of them believe that they are the sane person and the other guy is the nutjob. samuel seo's like WHO'S THIS BLOND FREAK WHY IS HE CHASING ME WITH A BB GUN and jay's like GET BACK HERE SO I CAN SHOOT YOUR GIANT TITS RIGHT OFF AS PAYBACK FOR BULLYING DANIEL. GET YOUR ASS HERE OR I'LL RIP YOUR BOTOX TITS OFF AND FEED IT TO MIRO AND EDEN BC 1) GOOD SNACK FOR THEM 2) MY PUPS ONLY DESERVE PREMIUM STEAK

tbf jay's not saying anything he's just exuding Murderous Energy (think jay in ch435) so ofc samuel's confused. this blond twink doesn't speak he's just chasing samuel with a bb gun

5. jay & gun

GUNJAY PARALLELS. THAT'S IT THAT'S THE TWEET

i've got more about the GunJay Parallels in another post which i am honestly too lazy to link bc u've probably alr seen it but i just wanna see the two daniel simps fight each other yk. i know jay's gonna get his ass beat to hell and back but i believe in Protective Hong Jaeyeol and Possessive Hong Jaeyeol rights like this perv is the guy daniel's been training with?? this is the bastard who basically tortured daniel bc daniel wanted to learn how to fight and be stronger??? oh boy the minute jay finds out about what gun did to daniel he'll sic the law on gun. or poison him

bc i believe in dumbhead!gun and STEM kid!jay supremacy.

jay, copying the anime he watched with daniel: お前はもう... 死んでいる！

gun, who received 0 intel about jay and wondering who tf this Blond Bastard™ is: 뭐?! この바보は누구

daniel, who only knows bits and pieces of jp bc he's an avid anime watcher: gun wtf is wrong with u.

daniel: also omg jay hi <3

jay, immediately: /////// <3

(that's him blushing btw)

i also want more interactions with jay and vasco and jay and zack and jay and johan and-

i could go on forever

thank you for the ask jann! wow this is. long

#rinanswersthings #lookism #i am NOT including jay and logan im sick of them #every time jay meets logan he gets his ass beat #next time jay meets logan it better be bc daniel wiped the floor with logan's fat ass #also don't ask me why i'm almost critically incapable of calling samuel samuel instead of samuel seo #it's like hudson ahn being That Ansan Bastard (in zack's voice) #jay hong #mira kim #kuroda ryuhei #samuel seo #gun park #daniel park #zoe park

[nochi-quinn]

legend of vox machina watch party episodes 7-9: kareawkward

EPISODE 7

ohGOD my headset clicked on just as they started yelling

they all spontaneously forget how to introduce themselves

"I play Pike! and that's it"

PLEASE HOLD THE WATCH PARTY ISN'T WORKING BC IT THINKS I'M IN A DIFFERENT REGION

jasper the fluff bunny luck dragon!

dagon ;-;

dagon was a conure

matt and marisha are going to kill you both

Please Forgive Me Percy

"think good thoughts. don't make eye contact."

"I have WONDERFUL sketches" "you also have many strange skills."

"I don't want to"

grog strongjaw: kind of a crackhead

Legend of Vox Machina: Put Down Cursed Weapons

cursed weapons: not even once

"FUCK THAT ROCK"

hey kurama check it out I'm a blood fountain

(I have resisted making that joke three times now, I am only so strong)

"if you wanna flirt with someone, stop being mean to her friends"

right, taliesin, a friend

keto grog

"what a DING-DONG"

"I fought for that butthole"

YES they also made me think of Stray

"how often are you gonna see a bear and a jackalope team up?"

"did they complain a lot about it, is what I'm asking"

and then cheech marin happens

"we've all been there before" "allegedy!"

augh tal's mic picking up his drinking noises

two emo boys being emo

"no, I'm alone" "no, I AM"

Dragon Zoom

"dad went out for a gold hoard"

I need the "bleh" noise from naruto abridged put over grog there

"she did [the reverb] herself, just with her voice"

flashbacks to early c1 when laura had to leave early for an audition and sam was making fun of her for where it was

"isn't this fun, watching tv with my frien - oh shit I have a job"

oh, fearne is on sam's shirt

travis how does the lavalier jabbing you in the neck like that not bother you. it's bothering me second-hand

"these are things people have told me about tripping out"

no I hate this

I'm so glad they didn't do this sdlkfjsl

bury it in the new mexico desert

"maybe we'll use it in the future!" "no, no I don't think we will"

I stepped away but I had my headset on so I got to hear "daddy garmelie" and I don't like it

The Nipples Are Implied

Bondage Keyleth

"vax in the knot" is an entirely different part of the fandom

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT thought she was gonna say "hey taliesin speaking of penises"

I was gonna say, taliesin that's you, you're the nerd who went to japan

The Criticalrole

"that's so much worse than in my head, I wanna do it again"

"see….seven characters is a lot to draw"

animators: pls kill someone

the little drama play that just went on in the back row

mica is gonna bully them into singing again

he's definitely never heard that one before

EPISODE 8

look I know he's friends with like two thirds of the cast but also: why

this entire operation is a shambles

oh I stand corrected, that's NOT sam. iphone brandon auman (?) sounds very much like sam

did this man just use "exotic" to describe a human person

edit from the future: a NIGERIAN human person, x2 Please Leave

lmao owlbear is still copyrighted

the fonz!

I also deeply enjoyed the backlight

"she's got issues! you got issues!"

mica saying all the shit I said in my liveblog like eight hours ago

a minor crisis happened in my house but honestly fuck it, I have not been enjoying any of this

imagine: we could have had liam in this watch party

"the scream I scrumpt" s a m e

I appreciate those leaf wipe transitions so much more now

troy baker also did not realize how long it takes to get to the cast, it gets me every time

no no let him leave

"we! are! professionals!"

that! that! that thing I said! god thank you for validating me cast of legend of vox machina

(check my individual episode liveblogs, true believers!)

"how much bernie sanders do we want?"

"EVERYONE in the trickfoot family" he said pointedly into the camera

"thanks for making everything feel worse" truer words

I love all of those

Phantom String

taliesin just casually creating character and world lore mid-game it's fine

EPISODE 9

oh thank god he's gone

matt's not here to sing with the intro, everybody else has to

PALETTE cleanser

I saw chris in the credits, did NOT catch him here

I am upset with myself

grog is canonically a swiftie

"vox machina muppet babies" PRINT IT

oh THAT'S what that was, I thought I was just not remembering something from campaign 1

SHE

Cute Cat Babies

kittenari

"everyone was fantastic this season" as opposed to last season

grgreagrandfather

I'm crying againnnn

animators cried over goop monster, confirmed

cries in digital artist

if a dragon wore pants how would he wear them

"if your skin peels back when you hear it, it's taliesin"

Evil Falcor

"DOES JET FUEL MELT STEEL BEAMS"

does dragon acid melt metal hands

"horrible father" "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, LAURA"

"there were so many pigs!" "and now they're bacon"

I have appreciated all of the animation so much this season, the color and the light and the aaahhhh

I like pike's little turn on "wwwwhat do you mean"

someone confirm if the guy in the back is supposed to be pipsqueak from atla

"the saddest cannonball"

the toothpick barricades!!

oh shit that's right the last episodes are in like two days

"using blender" the overwatch porn program?

I have something bouncing around my head about how pike and wilhand let grog learn how to be silly but I haven't been able to words it

sketchy pike and groooog

sketchy grog's little hip jut

it's me I'm questions

"because it's cute" is a completely valid answer

I think I commented on matt's jaw dislocating in my original liveblog lmao

"is this gonna kill the animators??"

Grog For Scale

OH WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED THE BEAR TATTOO

…and what happened to the bear tattoo

I feel like sam needs a nap

like mood but also someone let this man sleep

oh no he broke arthur

mica's leaving. mica's just gonna walk out.

all the herdspeople wear collars to hide where the neck seam meets the body

"just say yes"

The Button Arc

wasn't that a veth thing

ashley trying desperately to keep up with sam

"I don't know what I just saw, it doesn't make much sense"

oh good lord

I've said this before but if I would love to hear Sam sing without being a goober

dflksdjfslk

laura breaks IMMEDIATELY

and made NO attempt to try to bring it back

"that's as close to top gun as life is ever gonna get"

"why am I getting southern. you guys have tainted me."

ooh, phil bourassa! there were ostensibly other names in there, I was just typing and didn't hear them.

#crititag #lovmtag #critical role #the legend of vox machina #liveblog #reaction post #spoilers #watch party

[etherealsign282]

I don't think I ever mentioned the more detailed story of how I was lovebombed and guilt tripped into my relationship with the Demon? Or if I did, I want to tell it again

Tldr version: she guilt tripped me into a polyam relationship with her and the guy she was dating for years

The longer version: she was already I think 4 or almost 5 years into a relationship with my now current fiance and she was basically bored of him because he had turned into a "robot" in order to cope with someone who used whatever she could to be abusive, including emotions . So when me and her started hanging out, we got close fast. I understood her better than most people because I was traumatized, emo, depressed, but also hilarious and enjoyed the same stuff she did and didn't have a tendency to express judgment over some things that deserved that judgment (being consistently bullied and abused for having an opinion will do that). I became the new energy supply for her attention and dramaticism.

So when she got into writing fanfic and I also supported her bc I also like writing in general, she started fantasizing about threesomes, orgies, etc. Somehow that, combined with opening up to me some more "vulnerable" parts of her and listening and listening to her melodrama about how she wanted to be rxped or abused as an excuse to be the way she was (I didn't know "the way she was" meant her being abusive and shitty and calling it her "villain arc" not being obsessed with emo, trauma shit), made her "realize" she was polyam and made a really dramatic show about how she would suppress herself and hide who she was (mixed with "jokes" about death) if it made me uncomfortable.

She also asked fiance if it was okay and he was like uhhh give me a bit to process. Then finally said it was fine because I think he was just grateful to get her distracted long enough for him to enjoy some of the day.

So under the trapping method of her uwu "I've been through so much and abandoned but I'm not saying that to make you date me I'm just saying", I agreed bc I didn't want her to go offing herself.

Well, you can piece together all the bullshit I went through after that from the other posts. There was a few times I mentioned it was weird that she only thought she was polyam because of the sex thing and she defended herself saying it wasn't "just" that. And I agree. See, I only mentioned the sex part because SHE had literally admitted that she used writing as a way to get her real feelings out, and associated said writing with her being polyam and her writing was literally a pile of sex garbage.

There was ABSOLUTELY no cute shit, no romance, nothing like that. (it's also the same writing where she had her character rxped and then later admitted she wanted to be rxped for trauma. And then conveniently changed her character's rxpist to OC's father bc she had an obsession with incest).

However I'm aware now that she liked me because I was a good replacement of an energy source, considering how much she had drained fiance. I listened to her self inserted problems and genuinely thought she was a victim to some sort of system (lol) so I hyped her up way too much compared to what she deserved, and again not having a real voice. But of course, she would never admit any of that, not even to herself. So as far as she's aware, despite the denial, she only wanted to date because she was sex driven and had unrealistic fantasies of polyam relationships (which is why she rxped me, used me or manipulated me for sex, whined and bitched about us not having threesomes like it was an actual relationship problem, etc).

Anyway, a while later we closed the triangle by me and fiance dating. Her hyped up attitude (bc threesomes lol) and me genuinely liking fiance made me a little pushy for answers about whether or not he was going to actually ask me out bc of course she would sprinkle in things here and there whenever I became insecure. And everything I did for his approval I already talked to fiance about and apologized for being pushy and he reassured me everything was okay (bc I have the self awareness to be remorseful instead of weaponize incompetence, unlike some people lol).

Well, after realizing how shitty she was and how miserable fiance was, I encouraged/helped him to leave. And no I wasn't doing it as a "homewrecker", I didn't do it to have him all to myself on purpose. I still stayed with the abuser because I didn't want her to go off herself while she was kicked out (before being broken up with) of the home that she was never grateful for bc "old guy has COPD so I can't smoke in the house and I'm not allowed to scream in the middle of the night at video games but someone can talk loud during the day when my leeching ass is trying to sleep after 24 hours"

And back into the home that "she thought she escaped from" which is a little dramatic for living with a lazy but otherwise supportive dad, that she supported in the divorce between him and her mom anyways, and literally used all the time so she could crash over at his place a few times a week on purpose when she did live with fiance. 🤷

Then she mentioned that she was a rxpist when she called me from the hospital and I lost pretty much all hope and we "mutually" broke up, bc im not dating fiance's rxpist? I can fool myself into thinking you can be "accidentally" abusive but I cannot fool myself into believing you can brag about being a rxpist and then turn around and have the absolute gall to demand exactly what you did wrong because you don't understand why you were broken up with. That ALONE was enough, let alone all the other shit we told you about several times.

But I again, stayed friends with her and just lightened up a bit on talking to her because I somehow, SOMEHOW had the hope that she was genuinely sorry and that EVERYTHING ELSE was still "not her intention", and that I could *drumroll* fix her. That was... not the case.

No but what I did find out from fiance is that she was talking behind my back the entire time, saying my mental health didn't matter compared to hers and that I basically was annoying to play games with (which I detected yet she also got mad at me when I decided to stop playing lol) and in general just a huge burden on her. How she hated me, didn't want to be with me, picked favorites and tried getting fiance to pick favorites, which at first he agreed so she wouldn't abuse him, but then turned to "I like you both equally" which PISSED her off lmao. And in general tried to manipulate the situation so that way fiance would start mistreating me too just to sabotage our relationship and treat me like shit (which didn't happen).

Man the like once or twice I got caught venting behind her back about her genuine behavior made her FLIP but she can make fun of my self harm and music choices and my art and just chalk it up to "jealousy".

I told her I had to go no contact like fiance bc you can fake not knowing that x thing is manipulative(esp when your emotional abuse is based on faking being genuinely mentally unstable and incapable of understanding morals), but you cant fake bragging about rxpe and you can't fake hiding that shit behind my back nonetheless. You can't play dumb with things you admit are bad or play dumb on things that you are aware is bad enough for you to need to hide it from me.

Then she asked for one more time for me to explain shit and do one more thing of emotional labor and send her the list of things she did (see tag ex abuser chronicles), I stopped talking to her and kept her on my fb bc I knew she would just talk shit again and play victim when I unadded her.

Unfortunately I didn't realize she would resort to passive aggressive postings, I blocked her, then she acted like I wanted her to suffer and was mad that she wasn't (no, I'm mad that you have to lie in order to be happy with yourself instead of learning to accept what you've done and be *truthfully* happy with who you are after you worked on yourself.

And 2 years later I'm still with fiance rolling up on our 3 year anniversary and we both have animosity toward her but he's more quiet about it and acceptant (he had 5 years to emotionally disconnect and accept the situation). Meanwhile I'm still angry about the audacity and somewhat angry at myself for fooling MYSELF into believing she was as stupid as she made herself seem (for that anyway. I don't believe she's a smart person altogether, but).

So yeah, red flag: being manipulated into a relationship to begin with when someone who was mono for 5 years starts ignoring her partner and then claims to be polyam after writing about threesomes

#ex abuser chronicles

[herotheshiro]

me reading ch 2 of omega porn (which is the title of a BL, i am not just reading general abo porn here): i fucking hate this SHIT !!

#i don't think they're gonna do a love triangle but UGH !!! #i feel bad bc w the alpha guy being like 'you should protect yourself' and 'i'll buy you a neck guard' and 'here are some meds' #you just feel that he's regretful when he comes to see the main at the end and the main had been w someone else #and the main feels bad but the alpha guy doesn't say anything bc they're not technically together so he can't #i saw on bakaupdates that it was still ongoing and i was like WHAT but this first story ends w the 4th ch so whew #thought i was gonna have to get dragged along for an entire 15 ch for these 2 #reading #anyway can the next 2 ch come out already lol #EDIT: ok so i thought i had posted abt this manga before but i apparently haven't #but i like how they depict the pheromones as flower illustrations rather than the typical like haze kind of thing #and also now i'm emo again bc i just realized he got outed as an omega to his school at the end when he was trying to hide it

[cross-d-a]

I want to know ALL about Wu Xie embarrassing time traveler!Li Cu!!! ✨✨ I'm also v intrigued by Nie Huisang death death death

(Also, Cross you have so many wips; I read in awe. And to think I thought I had a lot of star wars fix-it ideas! I only have anything at all written down for two of them!)

(this refers to the WIP tag game I completed a few days ago!)

Wu Xie being EMBARRASSING & Li Cu Time Travel: 

I’ve got a series of interconnected oneshots planned where Li Cu just- accidentally hops back in time to every drama/book and helps out the Iron Triangle. and it’s more like LI CU embarrassing WU XIE haha

I thought it’d be HILARIOUS if Li Cu got to see how Wu Xie (UR MY DAD BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE) is so YOUNG and STUPID and EMBARRASSING when he’s young!! Wu Xie making (ACTUALLY) innocent doe eyes at an emo Xiao Ge?? GROSS. Wu Xie accidentally (DELIBERATELY?) setting off multiple traps in a tomb?? Li Cu is 10000/10 going to RECORD THIS on his phone and bring it BACK to the future and make fun of Wu Xie FOREVER. Also!!! There are SO MANY SNAKES in Ultimate Note!! And?? Conveniently?? Li Cu has a lil’ snake buddy?? MAYBE HE COULD HELP??? 

I basically want Li Cu being the Actual Competent One and the baby Iron Triangle floundering. Mostly Wu Xie. I want Wu Xie floundering. I also want Wu Xie SO EMBARRASSED when Li Cu hops back to his own time. 

li cu: DAD UR AN IDIOT 

wu xie: i DONT WANT TO RELIVE IT PLS AND THANK 

li cu: nO!! U ARE GOING TO SUFFER!! UR SO STUPID u set off FIVE TRAPS

wu xie: i hate you 

li cu: no u don’t u just told me u loved and appreciated me for saving ur life like ten minutes ago. there were tears in your eyes. actually they were streaming down ur face. u might have been hugging my leg and sobbing

wu xie: tHAT WAS SIXTEEN YEARS AGO FOR ME OK i am an OLD MAN

Nie Huaisang death death death:

I think it’s hilarious that you picked out one of the resurrective immortality fics considering we were JUST talking about the old guard hahaha. This one I actually have a good chunk written so far, so here is a long snippet near the beginning. Context is that Nie Huaisang’s mother is VERY pregnant and she’s riding through the mountains to visit her family before she gives birth. WARNINGS for gore (kinda??) and child death and just- DEATH in general:

There are beasts in the mountains. Ravenous, born of fury and blood, more ragged spirit than flesh. Their claws are jagged and broken and their maws drip with sizzling saliva. They have roamed the mountains for years and years, and have only grown more enraged, voracious.

The Nie Clan have always harnessed the butchery of their past. Binding rage and ruin to themselves, channeling it through their hearts and into their swords until they are one and the same. Until it feeds upon their flesh and their spirit, gnawing on their bones, carving out a little space for itself between brittle ribs. Until, one bloody piece at a time, it consumes them whole.

The Nie Clan’s power is also the source of their doom, and these beasts who roam and know only hate hate hate are Nie-furen’s doom, as well.

They descend upon the Nie in the dead of night, a roiling mass of snapping teeth and furious howls. There is blood, screaming, desperate flashes of Dao magic and heavy blades. But there are too many and it is not enough.

But the mighty Phoenix of the West has always been filled with unmatched fury and she is full of new life and about to burst. She will not let her child die here today. Not before he can breathe sweet fresh air and keen that first high cry. Not before his father can cradle him in his arms and his older brother can plant a kiss on his forehead.

That rage within her swells. It devours her spirit and bleeds out her eyes as she screams screams screams- a raging beacon of power and brutality and every ancestor’s grief.

She slaughters everything in her path.

When she comes to, she is soaked in blood and there is pain in her belly and an ache behind her eyes and in every breath- but she is alive. She lies amidst the ruins of her people and the lingering darkness of vanquished spirits and Shan Xifeng—

She goes into labour.

It is long and hard, lasting through the night into the bloody dawn and beyond. She manages to crawl to the edge of their encampment but no further. She twists into a curl of agony and cries into the clouded sky.

Her son is born on the cusp of evening, just as the sun slides behind dark, ragged peaks. He is born soft and warm and silent.

Shan Xifeng cradles him in quaking hands. Cups his cheek to her breast. His tiny head is blood-streaked like his mother. Blood-streaked like her friends and family around her.

It is an irony that on one of the most important days of her life, she is surrounded by her loved ones and yet they are all dead.

“Little one,” she murmurs, and tilts his limp head. “Little one, please.”

But he is silent as the dead around her and that grief swells again in her breast. It gnaws on her ribs and scrabbles at her throat and she is shaking shaking shaking.

“No,” she spits. “No! He has done nothing wrong! Nothing! Does he not deserve his first breath? His first cry? Does he not deserve the family that awaits him?!”

She screams into the sky and tastes blood between her teeth. “Take me instead! I beg of you! Please let him live! I would give my life! Every single one of them, so that he may live!”

Her sword quakes along with that dark raging thing within her and she clutches her dead son close.

Then—

The faint, elegant curve of a fan in the corner of her eye. The shift of cloth, the echo of a breath. The glimmering of ethereal gold and silver, like someone has spun the stars and sun above into delicate thread.

Summoned, like a beast to blood.

“All of them?”

Shan Xifeng knows better than to face an unknowable thing and so she bows as low as her broken body will allow. She stares into the bloodied dirt and breathes in dust and rasps, “Yes.”

“Hm.” A flicker of a stretching smile, coy, with a hint of sharp teeth. She does not see the fathomless dark behind those stark white teeth, a gaping void of ravenous benevolence. It is hidden behind the flare of the fan. “Do you understand what you ask for?”

“I do,” she says without hesitation.

The grin widens, lips scarlet and dark against bone-white skin. “Then I shall grant your wish.”

A shift of cloth, then a cool hand cups Nie-furen’s cheek, guiding her up. Her eyes flicker open and she sees what no mortal has ever seen, and then that fan whispers against her cheek and blood-red lips press against hers and the last thing she feels is her golden core trembling spasming dying as life is pulled from her breath- all the lives she has ever lived, the one she lives now, and every life she could have ever lived.

Shan Xifeng falls into the bloodied dirt beneath, still clutching her dead son to her breast. And then there is no one left living in that small clearing.

Pale, bony fingers trace a delicate line through the blood that lingers upon her cheek. It is still wet and useful. Stained fingers press against scarlet lips and the life held between stark white teeth is breathed anew into that blood.

Carefully, bone-thin fingers trace a deliberate character upon the newborn child’s left cheek. The blood shines, brilliant and devastating, before fading back into a gruesome name across pale skin. Slowly, the child begins to twitch, brows wrinkling in displeasure, before a high keening wail escapes tiny lips as the child take its first breath.

“Your mother does not know what she’s doomed you to.”

A day later, travelers upon the road hear a faint keening noise not far from their wagon. When they find the clearing, they gag and retch. When they find the weak, whining child clutched in his dead mother’s arms, they shake their heads and then stare at the crest emblazoned upon the woman’s clothes.

Two days after that, the child is delivered to Nie-zongzhu’s disbelieving arms.

“No,” he says, violent spirit quaking deep within him. “No. It- it is not true.”

The traveler ducks his head and clasps his hands in a bow. “I’m sorry, Zongzhu. We were not able to take the bodies with us. You’ll have to send someone to check, but…it was the crest of your house. And…” he hesitates, then nods to his companion who stumbles up and offers a sword.

Not just any sword. A dao.

Shan Xifeng’s dao.

Feng.

“No,” Nie-zongzhu cries, falling to his knees.

“I-I’m so sorry,” the traveler stutters. “I am so, so sorry, Nie-zongzhu.”

Nie-zongzhu sobs, clutching his newborn child to his chest. “Little one,” he weeps. “Oh, little one. At least life is kind enough to have spared you.”

“Yong,” the traveler blurts.

Nie-zongzhu stares uncomprehendingly, tears running hot down his cheeks.

“It- it was written upon his cheek in- in blood. I- I think that is what his mother named him. She must have done it with her dying breath. She must have wanted you to know. He did not enter this world nameless.”

“Yong,” Nie-zongzhu echoes, trembling. “It- it is a good name, for my brave little boy.” He cups his son’s cheek and sobs. “Brave like- like his mother,” he murmurs, voice thin and quaking. “She named you well.”

And perhaps it is bravery that made Shan Xifeng give up the chance to ever be reborn. Perhaps it is bravery that saved her son’s life.

But it was all a mother’s wretched love, and Shan Xifeng did not write the character for brave upon her son’s cheek.

No, it was not Yong for bravery, but Yong for eternal.

And it is not his mother who wrote it.

Perhaps it is bravery that saved her son, but is the curse of eternity really a kindness?

No, no Shan Xifeng did not truly understand what she asked for.

But Nie Yong soon would.

The next section starts with:

The second time Nie Yong dies, he doesn’t even realize it.

He is four years old.

and the third section starts with:

The third time Nie Yong dies, his Adie kills him.

He is nine years old.

It’s basically an Angst Fest with a happy ending bc...I just need a happy ending Always. I just REALLY love resurrective immortality and I love making my favourite characters Suffer :)

I hope these were fun and satisfying to read!! 

♪(ﾟ▽^*)ﾉ⌒☆

(also omg NO it’s a CURSE!!! I WISH I could just finish SOMETHING!! ANYTHING!! OMG!!! I am so envious you’ve managed to restrain yourself to a few!! Also!! I am SUPER excited to find out more about your fix-its!!! :D)

#tag game #my fic #cross talks #wip tag game #ask game

[sofhtie]

please use this ask as an excuse to yell about your d and d game if you wish!! your art is gorgeous and has me intrigued

ijrhgkfjhs thank u!!!!!! i should be doing reading rn but i’ve managed to NOT spiral abt crop all afternoon so I'm letting myself go wild with this as a treat <3 i have so many thoughts so i'm sorry if this gets insanely long 

okay. SO. the pc who died is named franto! he was a paladin, and began the campaign as a knight who had renounced his title as crown prince to create his own knightly order dedicated to maintaining peace. the bad thing is, by renouncing his title, he put his sister, kala, in the position of suddenly becoming next in line for the throne. so. ://// however, just a few in-game days ago, he’d had a Realization(TM) and was planning to revoke his oaths and become crown prince once more. a bunch of the party went off to a peace council, and he stayed behind at the castle (with one other pc), where he got lured into a trap and died trying to save the other person there. his body was destroyed in an explosion/fire too, so there’s no way to revive him

some of the fun (absolutely heartbreaking) consequences of this:

the death of a boy who spent his life devoted to maintaining peace, not even fighting back during his own assassination, is going to be what starts a war after twenty years of peace

his sister, who had been so haunted by the fact that she was going to have to become the queen, had just started started getting excited about the fact that she once again had the freedom of Not Being Crown Princess

also she was the one who had to tell her parent’s of her brother’s death. :/

the two had just starting really connecting again and now they never can.... 

ALSO her and my character are like. A Thing and while my girl (camille) has never had much hope for it to be anything official because cami is an orphan and kala is a princess, her and kala had just had a conversation about how franto taking the throne meant there was at least a chance for them to be officially together but. that’s gone now 

the order devoted to peace could have died with him

it’s NOT going to bc my character, who is fully a cleric and does not know how to fight, and the captain of the guard/her basically-dad are going to join the order and continue it in his honor. I co0uld write a whole essay on this ALONE but i will not 

his father lost seven siblings to the past war and now has lost one of his children to a new war. who knows if the other child will survive this.

cami lost her best friend and the last thing she said to him was “I'll see you soon.” which. hm. 

she doesn’t know her parents or anything but the orphanage she grew up in is set up for orphans of the war specifically, so she knows that they died either in or as a result of the war. so war has taken her biological family from her, and now it’s taken one of the members of her found family and that’s! a lot!!

I haven't actually interacted with her in game at all so I don’t actually know how this dynamic is going to play out for real but,,,, the npc he died saving sure is the one I made when my dm asked for a npc our characters don’t have a good history with so. that’ll be Interesting

I'm sure there’s more but in the middle of writing this I got distracted by one of my either games so I got out of emo about crop mode and it’s probably best for my own productivity I stay that way for a bit so! this is it for now crop is a great game I hate how many emotions it gives me

wait real final point I just love franto a lot and miss him very much :(((((((

#this got SO long oops #crop #dnd hours #nicki talks #ALSO front's player and I are on the same wavelength abt stuff to an UPSETTING level like good for us but also I hate it #hdfjfdsj in case it wasn't clear! in the art the person in the window and the person kneeling is kala (his sister) #it's just. crop is SO MUCH it's really fucking good but also it's taken over my brain

[lunebinnie]

(1/11)Oh my gosh yesss I'm glad that you like long messages too because I talk way too much 😂 (And yeah about my friend and just hanging out w/ her more that's exactly what I was thinking 😂) It's actually kind of funny bc just yesterday I was hanging out at her house and her younger brother needed to go to Walmart and I was like 'I've been meaning to go to Walmart, I'll take you' and ofc since I have a bluetooth radio adapter the whole drive I had my Spotify going with some quality k-bops, lol

2)And as we were driving I noticed him kind of jamming and I was like 'Oh my god Mickey do you actually like this???' And he was Like 'yeah, these are some good bops 👍' I was shooketh. I had to go home before I had the chance to show him any music videos but he says he's open to watching some with me next time I see him. One way or another I'm going to turn someone in my social circle into a kpop fan you mark my words ☝ and then maybe we can team up and try to work on his sister some more 😂

3)I only started first getting into kpop last June so I'm still very new, but it's definitely super frustrating how so many ppl act like it's an inherently bad or cringey genre of music just bc it's kpop! The stigma is ridiculous! I also started out with BTS (lol) and since they're pretty popular in the US at least I was able to be like 'See, this isn't just a niche thing, lots of people know abt and like this group' but of course my dad still says 'Just cause it's popular doesn't make it good'

4)And I'm like? You're a band teacher, you of all people should understand that music doesn't have to be in your native language (or even have lyrics) in order for you to enjoy it, but go off I guess... It's the same with one of my college friends. They make fun of me for liking kpop but this is coming from some who still treats March 22nd (the day My Chemical Romance broke up) as a day of mourning. Like, no tea no shade no pink lemonade, MCR was a good band nothing wrong with liking them.

5)But like if you're 22 and you still haven't grown out of your emo phase do you really have room to pick on other people for their music taste?  🤷 Anyway that's the person who follows my main that I didn't want to know I had a kpop sb. I think I made it around July. Tbh it was pretty dead for most of 2018. But like I said I've started using it way more since I recently revealed that it exists, lol. Especially since that good good Astro cb 👏💗😩 But honestly Astro is such a blessing

6)Idk how I lived so long w/o them. When I first got into kpop I was planning on just sticking to BTS since the reaction to me being into kpop was so volatile. I was like 'I'm only into one group, ppl already are negative about me liking kpop so I'm just gonna stick to this and not become a full on multifandom fan' and then in Nov I accidentally let myself fall in love with Monsta X and that plan was foiled. And realizing I wasn't gonna be able to stick to just one anymore opened the floodgates

7)And I was like okay in that case, let's just start getting into *all groups* Lol. My story of getting into Astro was actually bc of my best friend's roommate (can you tell I have like one friend and my whole social circle kinda revolves around her? Lol) so this roommate when she heard me being sad about having no kpop friends was like 'oh hey, I'm kinda into kpop' and it turns out she didn't like very many groups and was one of the ppl who blah blah BTS is overrated, which ya know isn't ideal8)But I was just really desperate to have someone to talk about kpop with. And Astro was her favorite so I was like, okay I'll get into them so that I have something to talk about with her! So I started watching some videos and I fell in love with them pretty much instantly! And I was real excited bc #1 now I can talk about kpop with someone! And #2 this group is actually amazing? Bonus! ... And then they got in a big fight about their living conditions and the roommate ended up moving out RIP

9)So that didn't work out, lol (Your story about finding them during that internship sounds amazing though! Haha) But yeah, so this is my first cb too! And although I love them w/ my whole heart and would have loved to have them in my life even sooner what an amazing cb to be your first! The concept was wonderful, the album was excellent, the visuals were to *die* for. They worked so hard and I'm so proud of them and I'm so happy we got to see their work come to fruition and get them a win 🤧🤧

10)The dance practices though? You're so right omg 💗 Me and my Rocky bias *fully* understand 😂 All of them are such good dancers?? I never fail to be impressed. Of course you know who I always end up watching tho 👀 lol (̶i̶f̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶R̶o̶c̶k̶y̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶t̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶.̶.̶.̶)̶ ̶ I also love how at the end they always pause all dramatic for a minute and then start screaming 😂

11)It's like? Amazing talent *and* dorky personalities? What more could you ask for? Lol. In regard to your last question though Unfortunately I also won't be able to see them 😔 I live in the smack middle of the US and since they're only going to coasts all of the venues are way too far away to get to. Esp since it's the school year and I can't skip class to drive cross country for a concert much as I'd like to (Holy lord I talked over twice as much?? Why am I like this?) Talk again soon! -ASA

Okay SO I’m very sorry I haven’t had the time to answer everything until now bc I’ve been busy studying for midterms and also I was a lil trashy today since my uni closed bc of freezing rain so I slept in but I’m glad that FINALLY everything got sent like damn tumblr you really don’t want us making friends huh. 

Yessssss I love the feeling of seeing someone else also get into the same interests! I’ve been pretty lucky in the sense that I grew up around mostly other asian americans, so kpop was never something that was considered super “weird,” like some people were into it and some weren’t but even if you weren’t you still would’ve been familiar with the more popular groups from when you were younger. Even now, I have a bunch of friends also into kpop (one of them is even my roommate) so tbh I was definitely the one in my friend group late to the party aha. Even my university hosts kpop nights at our bar and I’m pretty sure we have a kpop dance team as well? So tbh if I met someone new there’s probably like a 50% chance they’re into kpop or at least listen casually. 

Tbh I used to be a little bit judgy too but moreso because of the obscene amount of money I’ve seen some of my friends spend (no joke one of my friends has spent probably like $500+ on Loona stuff in the past month and a half and another friend bought like 5 copies of the same album for herself like damn idk how do you have that much money).

I also really don’t like it when people bash other people’s music tastes, since I feel like it’s something so personal? Idk but for a long time I used to be really self conscious about sharing my music with other people and even now I feel like that sometimes. For me after getting into BTS I kind of expected to get really into other groups since I was in Korea anyway and I was already listening to a lot of other artists casually. For me it started with NU’EST (fell for them immediately at the same concert that I saw Astro at) and then after was Astro, and then I just started slowly getting into other groups after that (even though I haven’t totally been able to get into Got7′s music they’re SO funny and I just kinda fell for their personalities  you know). 

I honestly think that they did such a wonderful job with this comeback too! I like seeing their concept evolve and mature but they’re not straying too far from their original cute concept so I feel like it’s a nice middle ground that’s very unique to them, you feel? Also I feel like the visuals especially and the execution of the whole plant concept was just done so well?? Even my friend who’s not in kpop was like “k idk who they are but that was the prettiest music video I’ve ever seen”. What are your favourite eras and songs? For me I’d have to say either the Spring Up or Baby era BUT right now my favourite song is probably Again/Should’ve Held On though tbh my mood and my tastes change like every few weeks loool. 

I have no idea why I tend to be most attracted to the dances rather than vocals or rap (maybe has to do with the fact that it’s something I’ve always wished I could do but have always been bad at lmao). But Astro’s stood out to me for the exact same reason! I just thought it was so funny seeing them all break character at the end because you really get to see how hard their choreos are and you get a glimpse of their personalities like damn, how can you not stan these dummies?

That’s really unfortunate that you won’t get to see them either :/ They’re also coming to the closest city to me but it’s on a Tuesday, but I *hypothetically* looked up flight prices and tried to see if I could get away with just missing a day of classes if I flew back in the middle of the night since I have some friends who did the same thing and drove down to Buffalo but I seem to have underestimated the size of New York State LMAO. But apparently my university’s too far from the airport so it’s “not realistic” (and also I’m hella broke from travelling to Taiwan and Japan while I was in Korea but that’s a minor issue ig). I hope we do both get a chance to see them live though! Who knows, after the success of this comeback I’m expecting a lot more cbs and world tours out of them ;)

#asa #Anonymous

[clumsyclifford]

ah alright well i'm wishing you all the best luck and also like motivation to actually write the paper 🙈💕

okay so i listened to tonight tonight and it really does seem like the perfect style for a happy playlist it's so upbeat which is kinda weird for me to hear tbh😅

congrats on finishing the fic!! (it's very adorable btw) & i think that's probably the best possible plan for the midterm & fic event writing hope everything works out!!

oh that's amazing! i'm honestly so stoked that you continuously got 7 hours and i'm rooting for that streak to continue 😊 and i kinda force myself to go to sleep early to get more than 7 hours (i always try to get at least 8) bc otherwise i'll really just turn into a crying, mean person and nobody around me deserves to have to deal with that 😅

oh wow that's a long playlist 🙊 and damn i mean i listened to skinny skinny a lot too but not that much 😶

oh lastly i have a couple of questions:

since you mentioned it: opinion on pride by noah kahan? do you like it?

can you give me blink-182 recs? i only know like the essentials and i need more and i think they were in your top artists (unsure about it but anyway) thought i'd ask 🙈

so i always read your tags under pics (they are very entertaining) and on one pic of ashton and luke you questioned why ash was wearing a leather jacket over a hoodie. do you not do that? or am i just missing sth? i'm confusion.

how you doing my love? did you drink enough water? how is/was (depending on when you answer this) your day? -fiancee

omfg i think your academic vibes got to me without even me realizing because i was really productive on the midterm and a lot of my reading yesterday and my astronomy test today so ??? thank you fiancee you are my saving grace

fuck yeah!!!! glad u liked it (did you like it??? well i’m hoping you did anyway) also i have to say i really like having a happy playlist so thank you for encouraging its creation. and yeah thank you that’s what i’m gonna do

fair enough!! yeah i’ve gotten seven hours at least the last four days, i think (though i think i got eight the last two? so that’s nice) i’m really impressed with myself i did NOT think this would last although maybe i’m speaking too soon it’s not even been a week after all so i guess we’ll see

omfg the formatting power you have now....alright well let’s go then

SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOO GOOD MMMMMM I LOVE ITTTTT god noah kahan has never done a bad song IN HIS LIFE has he. NEVER not ONCE and this is no exception pride is so good what do you think

oh !!! WELL. okay. so i’m DEF not the best person to ask about this, because my blink knowledge is limited and extremely biased in favor of (1) the classics/essentials and (2) their newest album nine lmao. that said i can give you some of my personal favorites based on that information but i think @tigerteeff could give you more comprehensive recs if you’re interested in that. anyway ill put em at the bottom

NO?????? WHO WEARS A LEATHER JACKET OVER A HOODIE???? hoodie is to keep you warm, leather jacket is to make you look cool. but hoodie completely cancels out the cool vibes of the leather jacket so why tf would you wear both i just don’t understand

i’m doing rather well actually !!! i’ve been suspiciously responsible about getting my work done........waiting for it all to come crashing down but i’m gonna ride this high as long as it’ll take me lmao and yes i am drinking lots of water <3 how about you? how are you? drinking water?

anyway my personal blink recs in no particular order (please no blink fans come after me i KNOW okay i know. i’m not qualified for this i just like these songs okay): boxing day -  heaven (!!) - on some emo shit - after midnight - home is such a lonely place - she’s out of her mind (!!) - feeling this (!!) - black rain - pin the grenade - roller coaster (!!) - i really wish i hated you (!!) - hungover you - darkside

i hope that’s not too many?? also yes i know most of those are from nine that’s what i SAID would happen i am working slowly through the rest of blink’s discography so ask me again in like. a year KHFJDGMLDSFGJ and i will have better answers for you

#all the blink fans are going to come castrate me now sorry guys #now if you wanted more thomas rhett recs.........no that's a joke that's a joke please don't ask for that #HKJFDGKLSFMGJ i am working slowly through his music as well but #he's only got four albums #which is less than half of blink AND that's not even counting blink's eps and such #boxing day is off a blink EP look at me go #i save EPs for days when im too busy to take an hour for listening #it's sexy #i'm having so much fun #i like having this as a Goal bc it gives me a chance for like #built in relaxation #no matter what. every day i have to take 20-60 minutes #and just...chill and listen to new music #and it's really really nice for me tbh to get that for myself #so yeah #omfg spotify is listeningggg #i shuffled my liked songs and WHAT PLAYED but heart's all gone #oh which was on the list and then i took it off #well it's a blink song #the thing is. is that ive listened to all of blink's self titled album #but i just dont REMEMBER it all #i have to give it a relisten i think #by the way i don't know exactly what you count as essentials #like do you know anthem?? #the rock show? first date? what's my age again? #like i don't really Know #what about always do you know always #that's an essential to me but idk if that's universal #man my blink experience is weird #okay anyway ive gone on too long

[franeridart]

Fanon Allen: angel. Wouldn't hurt a fly. Canon Allen: get out of my fucking way I'm gonna win this poker game and get all the money, strip everyone naked and leave them in the train with no clothes. No mercy. Innocent who?!

It’s amazing because people get distracted by his angel face and round big eyes and polite speech which is exactly what happens in canon too right before he shows his true colors always - actual Allen will talk shit about random women he’s just met, will hold Bak’s “secret” crush on Lena over his head and threaten him through it, will scare the living shit out of a small child the moment he realizes he’s a small child making him believe he’s been stabbed with a huge ass sword, has and will again yell at the most powerful bad on the whole planet while standing on his back??? - has stripped people naked for money and started stripping himself naked while talking about added prices for it, got in a shouting match with two enemies over who had it worse with their debts (related, had absolutely no qualms telling said enemies that his master was the devil incarnated while they were trying to make him defensive over him and I don’t blame him at all) also anything he’s ever done with Kanda ever, like, that’s a whole category on its own

I mean, Allen’s definitely super sweet and caring and protective of his ideals and the people he loves, but it’s part of his actual plot that somewhere inside him there’s still Red and that a mixture between Allen and Red is his true self and I’ll never stop being amused at how the fandom likes to forget about that tbh

Anon said:Different anon here; you said your creativity was influenced by how much material you get on the subject. Once these characters weeks end, would you be interested in getting some fics written for you? I like your art so it feels like a good way to thank you while also helping you get inspiration for more bokuro, I feel it’d be a win/win situation :) Good luck with all the work you have to do by the way!

I’m always a slut for words my friend !!! Tho I can’t promise whatever you write for me will make me want to draw, I could never and I will never say no to words about my otps haha

Anon said:do you mind other people copying certain aspects of your style? like not exactly the same but for example the way you kinda put the blush colour across the knees and elbows and such? bc i know some artists are kinda picky about that sort of thing

I don’t mind at all, go for it! Most of what I do with my style is a patchwork of things I liked in other people’s styles anyway, it would be really hypocritical of me if I told you I don’t want you to experiment with what you like too - let your creativity be free my friend!

And anyway as long as the hand drawing it is different and you don’t purposefully try to exactly copy something, even things taken from other people’s styles won’t look the same - that’s how art works, after all~

Anon said:hi!! so i was scrolling through your art the other day and it’s really cool to see how much you’ve changed *^^* i love your art so much and i think it’s really inspirational to see obvious improvement i guess? thanks ily good bye

OH MY GOD thank you so much!!!!!! *O* I’m!!!!! really glad you can see my stuff getting better???? AHHHHHH!!!!! what a good ask to get, I’m really happy right now hahaha

Anon said:Kirishima has a bad habit of chewing his pencils when he’s trying to focus and because he has those killer teeth his pencils get fricking destroyed and it stresses everyone out except him so his classmates give him a lot of pencils and he’s bamboozled as to why.

It’s good tho because Kiri doesn’t really realize he needs the pencils himself so he keeps on using his chewed-through ones and hoards the pencils he’s given by the others so when Bakugou’s temper ends up making his pencils explode or Kaminari’s stress fries his into uselessness or Mina inadvertently destroys hers with her acid he can just give them new ones and he feels really good about it

everyone else has no clue how to point out that that’s not why he was given the pencils to begin with because Kiri looks so happy about it too - one day Momo will just make a Crimson Riot pencil with an indestructible material and Kiri will love it so much and they’ll solve the problem once for all haha

Anon said:I seriously can’t get over your chibi style. It’s so cute!

AWWW THANK YOU!!!!! It’s super fun to draw too, so I’m happy you like it!!!!

Anon said:The way you are dodging angst is a true art tbh

Oh my god anon I got bad news for you seems like in the bakushima week I gave in to the soft-sads (note to self: never sketch out prompts when you’re feeling emo for other reasons)

Anon said:does bokuto peel the cheese stick or does he just eat it whole?

Anon as an Italian I have absolutely no clue what a cheese stick is. What is that. What are you feeding your kids anon. I’m concern.

#fran answers #me: dodges some asks she wanna draw for even though she knows she got no time for it #go me #anonymous

[dvddggs]

Okay I'm sitting in uni between classes bored out my mind so like can I get some high school Alex/Arron shenanigans or hc???

OMG GYES BucklE UP TEAM LETS DO THIS

OK so when Alexander first came to America he was really nervous about school because he was going to be that new kid with the strange accent and he still didn’t know some English words. He started a year after he got there because he was still sick and being treated in the hospital

On the first day of school (he would have been in third grade according to TTFOU), the teacher made him introduce himself and tell the class a bit about the culture

All he could think to say was “It’s much warmer there,” which made everyone laugh, but talking about it made him miss his mother so he stayed quiet all day

At the end of the day when Alexander was waiting for Papa Gwash to pick him up, Aaron came over and sat down on the curb beside him. 

They talked about Alexander’s home until George got there and after that they were inseparable 

HIGH SCHOOL: the first day made them both super nervous but they didn’t really talk about that

Alexander talked about all the cute girls he was going to get with now that he was A High School Guy and Aaron was just like ok buddy sure whatever u say

They were those kids who weren’t super popular, but everyone who knew them really liked them because they were hilARIOUS,,,like they just roasted each other but were super affectionate and loving and everyone could tell they were BFFLS YALL

When Alexander cheated on his girlfriend (I mentioned this earlier in TTFOU, can’t remember which chapter tho), Aaron stayed up all night with Alexander trying to work out how they could fix the problem (they came to the conclusion that they couldn’t) 

But Aaron was also like ????????????????? bc Alexander kissed a guy and neither of them knew he was super fuckin bi until that point 

so from then on Aaron pointed out cute guys AND cute girls that he noticed for Alexander 

In grade 11 they got super h*ckin drunk and maDE OUT and all their friends were like fUCK FINALLY????? bc they all thought these two dorkos were in love

They went back to Alexander’s house and made out a little more in his bed but then Aaron threw up from drinking too much and by the time he got back they were sober enough to realize what happened

they were sO GROSSED OUT AND DIDNT TALK ABOUT IT EVER AGAIN, it was just mutually FORGOTTEN (and if any of their friends ever brought it up they were ded)

On graduation day, George and Aaron’s parents sat beside each other in the audience. Aaron had a few older siblings so it was nothing new for the Burrs and they were fine

bUT PAPA GWASH WAS A BLUBBERING, SOBBING MESS BC HE WAS SO PROUD OF ALEXANDER AND HIS DISTINGUISHED HONOURS, HIGHEST OVERALL AVERAGE AWARD AND THE FAC T THAT H IS sON???? WAS GOign TO UNIVERSITY???? On  A SchoLARSHIP???????? WOW he was a mess

And also Alex was voted “Most Likely to Kill Someone by Talking their Ear Off and Having them Bleed Out Before He Stopped Talking Long Enough to Notice” (It was Aaron’s submission & the vote was unanimous)

Alex and Aaron watched the Burrs comforting GWash and they laughed about it behind the stage they’d be walking across soon. They were really excited but also a little sad because they knew they were going to different universities and for the first time in tE N YE.ARS they’d be apart???????

That summer was the best of their lives. they went to disney world and spent as much time together as they could

Aaron left for uni about a week before Alex

When he left, they both pretended not to notice the other one getting misty-eyed, but in the end they hugged rly tightly and turned into crying messes

ok i need to stop bc im getting reAL EMO OVER HERE thx tho this was fun :-))) 

#anon #answered #ttfou headcanons

[fluffi]

i think it was because god's menu was released around the same bp and svt made their comebacks. same thoughts tho on gm > bd and i was also glad that bd got the wins gm didn't. and same with the streaming mvs while studying : ] ahh, the easily distracted people we are. (reading cut and litol font bc poor ppl who see this on the dash TT)

i've heard chinese ballads (usually osts of films and from a chinese friend) and their songs really tend to tug on my heartstrings. i hope sm gives shotaro more stuff to do soon :[ with some of the units being active and sungchan being an mc on a weekly show, it makes me wonder what he's doing. do you think nct will form a new subunit?

no, i'm not lactose intolerant so it really took me by surprise. it was a one-time thing. hopefully it doesn't happen again. i can't really say i'm a big fan of ice cream but it's good occasionally yk as a treat to yourself. and ahhh, i miss drinking smoothies. my favorite stall has been closed for nearly two years now, idk if they ever re-opened since our city mall burned down :[

i think it's an nct thing? it's why i never get tired of them bc they're always active in a way. you should've seen how things went down last year! march 127 album, april dream mini-album, may 127 repackage, june wayv album and the whole nct 2020 thing. it was a wild year. about the track, i listened to it once and forgot about it. might give it a few more listens but it might not grow on me at all. yes! wasn't a big fan of hot sauce at first too bc i thought the intro was weird (not jaemin's part, like the first thing that plays). and yes, that hook loops in my head 24/7. i even made it my instagram bio.

stray kids world domination indeed! and i agree that their performances were really impressive (specially the deadpool one, best one yet) but sometimes i would fancy ateez' more. i didn't watch kingdom too bc it stressed me out as a multi. always caught between being happy for one group and being sad for the others. and atz and tbz! you're still getting into nct and you're thinking of adding 19 more boys! judging from what i know your taste in music is, i think you'll like tbz's music better since there are a lot more soft songs there than in atz. but do give both discographies a listen in the future!

oh izone! i've only heard of them at music shows and dance choreo compilations bc of them being in sync. they're really satisfying to watch! i thought their title tracks were catchy as well! quite unfortunate that i never got into them really. but again, i dont think i can handle stanning temporary groups.

i'm starting to see a pattern in your biases :D i wouldn't be too surprised if you'll be drawn to jeno at some point in your dream venture. dream is soooo easy to love so if you really end up ulting them, i would understand why. and also, YES PLEASE WRITE FOR DREAM AND TAG ME IF YOU WILL. THANK YOU ><

thank you! :c don't get your hopes up tho, the masterlist must've been interesting to browse but are the fics truly worth it? XD i think not. since you already know koe, i'm reccing users @/rouiyan, @/nsheetee and @/loonacitys. i don't have that much fluff in my ficrecs blog. i think, i've heard of lvdsc before (maybe even read a fic or two) but i can't find their blog now. be careful in privating your works, you might end up losing them forever if you don't keep track of their links...(?) that's what happened to the works that i privated :/ take me with you if you move blogs ;n;

seungmin frequently left updates abt what he was doing, left good nights and good mornings, the occasional i miss you. he called fans 'baby' once. not sure if it was a mistranslation, or really just a one-time endearment. other than that, nothing beyond the usual. seung vlives always make me cry ;n; he always look so adorable and precious. also the gif, the fic was more on fake head-butting really but yes you could say it was also a fake nose boop bc it sounds cuter. i'll make sure to tag you on future seung content on the dash. (time to officially claim him as your ult, yes. dont make him secret anymore :3)

sorry it took me a while. tumblr went batshit. the ' werkl;' stopped working midway and i got busy with school yesterday. also haechan birth today and i'm so emo abt it. it's literally just a boy turning 21.

little font and cut saga lets go!!

(just kidding, i cant do little font typing for long periods of time, makes my eyes go beserk haha.)

true true, im afraid for txt on music shows now because theyre going against some big names (literally bts like whatj jsdf what was hybe thinking). yeah, streaming mvs while studying aka watching mvs on loop lmao. i still want to stream skzs final kingdom performance on instinct but i remember that theyve already won!! hehe

ah chinese ballads always make me emo, i like to scream out lyrics to the songs at the top of my lungs and sit there on the verge of tears. its a cultural thing maybe *sobs*. ooh, what show is sungchan mc-ing in? ill check it out. i thought sm would make nct japan for sungtaro (i heard sungchan speaks japanese) so it was a shocker when they made...nct hollywood lmao. given the current circumstances we're probably not going to get a new subunit anytime soon :( hopefully taro will have stuff to showcase during that period of time.

burned down?? oh my, what happened to your mall? that sounds terrifying. i remember when the front of my school caught on fire and we were all ushered out but we thought it was a drill and didnt find out till years later lmao.

oh true, since theyre such a big pack too. constant comebacks and promotions haha, nctzens never catch a break with 23 members. i listened to the new track again (ive forgotten the name already) but i cant- i cant do it. its just not my style hhh. i rewatched the mv for the godly visuals though. i dont know if youre talking about that 'bibididibibidiododo' part by that female morphed voice at the beginning of the song, because i wasnt a fan of that too. it grew on me though.

same, actually! im not an atiny and dont stan any other group in the show besides skz but i watched each groups performance and ranked them haha. at times ateez would rank over skz, it was wild. also yeah, my other multi friend was freaking out about kingdom and ended up abandoning the show because she was so scared of the fanwars and having to deal with her 'conflicting feelings'. about the stanning thing, in my defense, i have a list of groups i want to stan and ive recently added tbz and atz. the list is long, i have a long way to go! also yeah, i dont prefer ateez's songs and i have a bunch of tbz title tracks in my playlist but if i approach their discography like i did with nct then i think i would like at least five songs.

izone are my queens. theres a reason why theyre the only girl group who made it to my ult list haha! super talented and filled with variety and visuals, a perfectly concocted group (literally, sobs in pd48 scandal). ah, temporary groups. yeah i cried about their disbandment for like 3 days straight, it was bad.

a pATTERN?? INTERESTING. DO ELABORATE. jeno, oh my gosh hes like bang chan. an intimidating-looking bear whos actually filled with love and softness on the inside. im currently having a jaemin run though, his make a wish fancam is doing some wacky things. also yeah, dream is really easy to love. i fell for them so hard, theyre all talented and cute and adorable and the team ambiance is so nice. really rising up my stan list now. i mightt write for dream! ill have to see, hehe.

personally i think the fics are going to be worth it. i can feel it in my boOOnes. ooh, recommendations! fun :D ill check them (and yours) out after i finish this 30k jisung fic. ive been trying to finish it since yesterday but i keep getting sidetracked. also, i made a mistake. its luvdsc with a 'u', maybe thats why you couldnt find it? ahh. thank you for the privating tip though! will keep in mind. and of course ill take you with me if/when i move blogs. we're friends now! <3

SEUNGMIN CALLED STAYS 'BABY'???!!@)(@#*()! I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE ASKDFJDF. im exciting for the fake nose boop drabble!! i love soft couple moments hehe. also yeah maybe its time to make him my ult...hes going to have to compete against jake my beloved ope.

dont worry about being 'late' or anything! we all have our own stuff to do. also yeah tumblr is weird asf sometimes. if you havent realized i typically answer longer asks around the same time everyday, when i get to sit in front of my computer and pull out my clickity-clackity keyboard. super relaxing.

AND YES HYUCKIE DAY!!! HES SO ADORABLE HONESTLY. im in love with all seven members of dream, my fic rec blog is currently filled with fics for them haha.

#「 asks 」 #moots — [♡] ; #toffee — [♡] ; #neo-shitty

[survivorazores]

Ep. 9 - "I'm an online Survivor player not a fortune teller dammit" - Francie

After eight tribals full of crackedness, wild strategy and of course puns, the Espirito and Salao tribes merged.

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163925460048/announcements

Omg I made merge I am so happy!!!! Reunited with my fellow INFP's! The only downside is that those 2 are definitely closer to each other than me :(. But I am still happy to have made it this far

I've achieved my goal of making merge at minimum so I'm happy for now. Now to not be the next one out lol

I MADE IT PAST MERGE I ALREAY SURPASSED MY EXPECATIONS

I'm so happy

MERGE!!!!! I ACTUALLY MADE MERGE!!!! I'm so happy to be reunited with Bryce!!! Amanda G and I have tea to spill and I can't wait to hear his tonight when we call. Also, the Gal Pals want to call and talk too. I have some stuff to clear up before Amanda Lynn gets called out by Gwen. I need to figure things out before things get out to everyone. I'm a little nervous. 

Also, about Espirito's tribal, I almost shit myself when Bryce's name was read out. That shit was scary. BUT OMG MERGE BONDING!!!! SO WHOLESOME!!!! I'm so happy :-) This was a goal, now my next one is to win an individual immunity for myself. Let's hope I can do that. Also, I'm super excited about getting that merge idol clue. I can't wait to figure out what it is!!! AHHHHH!!!

My showmance Ashley Sarah is gone and I'm SO SAD but I'm more sad that Francie and Amanda didn't tell me how they were voting, but I'm just so excited that for at least a little while no one knew we were best friends and we got to play together, she was ROBBED and should have been the first member of the jury but it was fun playing with her and i hope she wins the record for the most votes casted against her in the season hehe. Going forward I'm going to be loyal to Will and probably only Will, everyone else is a RAT and I can't wait to get rid of Gwen still for swiping RIGHT on me.  

It's merge time and the INFP's are reunited once more! I'm so happy to have us back together again. We might have to do some recruiting, though. We'll only have 3/12 votes if we go to tribal council like this. I really like Gwen, but we betrayed her by voting out Nayeli. I think we might try to get Ali and Francie on our side because Emily and I trust them, but we'll check with Bryce first. We need two more people, but we'll figure that out later. I'm also happier because now Emily's merge idol clue is able to be used for our advantage!!

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163928032843/reward-escape-room

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163928380688/merge-idol-hunt

We're all getting heckt.

Get hect.

I didn't know how much activity this challenge required (or just paying attention enough) otherwise I wouldn't have picked Gwen bc she's not on enough. Aksjdhskda. Hey, I'm an online Survivor player not a fortune teller dammit.

*Gabriel Reyes voice* D E A T H  C O M E S

Can I vote out whoever created this challenge lol 

The challenge ends, but the merge tribe is unaware of the challenge’s real nature

How was a five minute long challenge so emotionally painful?

Made the merge? Loving it! Won the first reward challenge? Also loving it! Finding the idol? Gonna do it and loving it!

Francie’s team: Francie,Emily,Ruthie,Mo,Michael and Gwen are sent to tribal

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163930618868/reward-results

I'M SO SCREWED THIS ROUND NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

What kind of bait and switch was that smh. Can I sue the hosts for emotional damage??

Emily is a rat.

Holy SHIT I found the idol???? I just spent so much time doing all of that and I actually found it I am so proud of myself oh my god this is beautiful this is amazing I feel blessed I feel incredible. This could easily be what carries me through these next few votes if anything starts to look fishy... and I'm loving it.

I'M SO MAD!!!! I wanted another idol and someone else got it :(. I do have my Espiriro idol, though, which is beneficial to my game. I'm really nervous about the next tribal council because my team won the competition, but that sent Emily to tribal council. I hope the can make amends with the majority and be able to survive.

So we merged and I'm so happy! But I also found out that apparently I was at a higher risk than I thought I was originally.  But this idol thing was so much fun. Even if I didn't find it I had so much fun doing it. I wonder who got the idol tho its so scary :s.

i made merge!!!!!! me and Amanda did it together!!!! its amazing content im so alive! We had a """""""""reward""""""""" challenge that had me and amanda on a team together and we won and it turned out to not be reward and were immune! but emily and francie are not but they seem to be on lock so it should be okay. Will has been a little shady and im like  75% sure he found the merge idol BECAUSE amanda and I went on a spree and finished the hunt and it was gone so :\\\ very disappointing but ive never won a game where ive had an advantage and i did win when i had no advantages so its all fine and dandy we still good! I want to stick with the gal pals alliance most, will has been giving me iffy vibes lately but i also want to stick with him for as long as i can. He isnt making final 4 though if I have anything to say about it!

Well, after a long night of idol hunting, we have realized that the idol, in fact, has already been found. Iconic? I love flopping. But my favorite part of this was being on call with the INFPs!!! I love them. I feel like the bad decisions made by the cracked INFPs sprung from Toph and Raffy... I'm hoping that Amanda G, Bryce, and I can make some smart moves and not flop? Unlikely, but it's fine. But on the dark side of things, I'm going to tribal tomorrow night. I'm so emo. I know I have to vote with Francie because of the Gal Pals. I don't want to vote her out anyways. I can either vote out Ruthie, Gwen, or Michael. I don't want to vote Mo out. I need time to think about my decisions. I'll probably write a lengthy confession tomorrow or record a video confession. I need time to decide and sort things out. I'm just going to enjoy the time I have with the INFPs for now :') I hope I don't go home this early, though it is jury. I don't want to be the first jury member. :0

Helen was pushed and Jodi was robbed. And EMILY IS MAKING IT INTO THE ACTUAL BB HOUSE SO KNOW THAT!

The idol I helped hunt for, spent 45 minutes one that jigsaw dog puzzle for, is gone. I stayed up til 1am and Abbey and Amanda stayed up til 2am ish based on the chat. This stinks worse than... something that stinks r e a l l y bad. (That was lame bc I'm Tired ok)

WHAT THE FUCK LIKEEEE HOW AM I VOTING OUT THIS TRIBAL!!?!??! no one is talking game to me. I'm sorta alienating myself by not talking to mo or ruthie but like they can try to me too like wtf. i wanna get ruthie out the most bc i backstabbed her at that challenge but that was obviously needed so i was safe.  but anyways like why isn't anyone trying!!! I'm gonna try to play harder soon to make a move bc this clearly is gonna be me if I'm left in the dark like this. idk how to make a target of someone i barely know.

yeah i sersiouly don't like amanda lynn whatsoever and its annoying me sooooo much like strictly in a game way that she has so much control it feels like. i liked her in the beginning but then i WOKE TF UP!!!! like francie stop being her doormat and also me n micahel are trying to get ruthie out to send some shots amanda's way! don't fuck with us amanda i swear to goD!!! and i can't wait to expose her ass with this alliance reward!!! atm thats who i think is running the game and I'm pretty sure I'm right

yup this is sketchy i can't when francie just said "it isn't separate tribes anymore" like yup me or michael aren't going home.  and it seems everyone on my tribe has flipped to the other tribe LIKE YOU ALL CANT DO THAT LOLOLOL ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO BE LEFT OUT. there has too be this big ass alliance and idk who it is !!!!! no one is giving anything up and idk where a crack is at all.

yup its evident from the captains pick list that me n micahel being picked last wasn't good at all!!!!!!!!!! soo I'm going to maybe to talk to micahel about getting mo n ruthie on our side or something idk

i think theres an alliance with francie amanda abbey emily n ruthie but once again just speculation

ok i might suck at this game but i definitely wanna go out with a  bang rn but honestly also i wouldn't mind voting for michael if thats what i have v to do to stay in

Honestly I've been trying to play nice with these people but I'm just exposing people now in chats because literallly me and Gwen are at the bottom of this tribe

Prepare for possible explosion in red tribal chat

Honestly me and Gwen are at the bottom of this tribal right now. We are spilling everyone's tea to each other Francie,Emily,mo,and other girl who I forget her name and I'm too lazy to look it up are all coming to us in individual chats and talking shit about one another like :/ y'all have some ugly personalities, but me and Gwen are desperate to stay

I don't understand how people are literally so blind by Emily's game. Emily and Amanda & myself gbut I don't wanna be that bit*h) have played the best games so far and I haven't been doing the best to hide my tracks I guess. People just do whatever Amanda says some reason, but Amanda does whatever I tell her to do so it's weird. Anyways Emily is a rat and lies to everyone saying she's (insert alliance here) strong, but she's not. She just flops over to wherever the power is. Which is a strategy and she's probably going to outlast me so werk I guess, but she has so many premade alliances in this game that she's not a newbie like she says she is

I'm just gonna submit my thoughts on these people here: Ali T: he's nice, but easily manipulated, I don't really have thoughts on him. Amanda G: I literally know nothing of this person, I haven't talked to them once but honestly she's gonna go far probably because I highly suspect she has a premade alliance. Amanda Lyn: I thought I wasn't gonna like her when I first started, but I've actually grown to like her but like girlll she does the most when it comes to the immunities. Emily, myself and her are playing the bet games I feel right now but tbh they've probably done a better job at hiding their tracks then I have, and put more effort than I do. Bryce/Will ( because they are literally the same person in this game playing the same game): honestly Bryce is my pick to be in the final 3 but I wouldn't be surprised if will was there too. They literally have done nothing in this game and are just floating their way to the end. They just flop to wherever the power is. Boring gameplay. Emily: honestly I would argue she's playing the best game right now, she has misted everyone into doing whatever she wants, but it's not like it's hard since literally only 3 people are actually Playing an actual game here. Everyone else is just playing scared and floating to wherever the power is. Literally she has two premade alliances in this game so it's just stupid. She won't win but she has the best resume right now. Francie: doormat and a waste of a casting Gwen: honestly she's so genuinely nice and the only person I enjoy talking to in this game, I want her to win but she won't because she's not set up to win. She'll be taken out next if I'm taken out this time. Mo: idk anything about this person but I just don't like them for some reason. They just seem extra. Ruthie: I have no real thoughts on her, I forget she exists and she's a final 2 with Amanda Lynn. Another waste of a casting Zabbey: I literally didn't even know this person was in the game until I was looking at the merged tribe list.

IM SO DONE, SOMONE FOUND THE IDOL EMILY JUST TOLD ME, also this tribal is gonna be explosive, Emily told me that shes voting off Gwen and Michael is going off at her, francie is playing a good game tho

I'm honestly too old for this game, this is gonna be my first and last one of these gmes, unless I get asked for all stars then hmu

So I'm one of the 6 going to tribal today and I'm a tad nervous. I'm happy that I have Francie, Ruthie and Emily with me but when there's half of the players going to tribal and then another half of us watching our decisions whilst still in the game. The consequences could be really bad.

This would be a great confessional to have recorded because I just have so much to say but I look absolutely horrendous so I'm not going to make you suffer through that.

So the gist of this round, I hate it. I'm going to tribal tonight and I knew for a fact I wanted to vote with Francie. Francie did not seem to want to vote with the original Salao tribe members even though they were more than willing to do so. I was unsure about how Francie was planning on voting which was why I didn't want to make plans with Gwen and Michael last night. Now, that has come to bite me in the ass because now that I ACTUALLY want to vote out Ruthie and vote with Gwen and Michael, MICHAEL WANTS TO TARGET ME! And honestly, the last thing I want to do is scramble right now! I don't know what to do! I feel like I can't message him because then he'll know I'm getting word from everyone that he's spreading things around that I'm dangerous and all this stuff. And like, smart of him for figuring it out. I don't think many other people have. But if I can just get Francie, Amanda Lynn, and Ali to get my name out of Michael's head, I think I'll be fine. Francie won't vote against me and I know that like 90%. Michael, Gwen, Ruthie, and Mo, however: wildcards! I haven't talked to Ruthie at all and Mo and I have talked no game. I have wanted to vote with Gwen and Michael from the moment they messaged us last night but I was unsure because of FRANCIE! I think I might be safe tonight, but I'm truly not sure. I think the pros and cons of voting out all of these different people are like all over the place, but I'll try to figure them out.

Voting out Michael pros: one less person targeting me. Voting out Michael cons: he could expose me in his last words, Ali is close to him and I get information from Ali, it would further confirm his theory about me being a mastermind. (HONESTLY, THIS BOY IS NEVER ACTIVE BUT NOW THAT HE IS HE DECIDES TO TARGET ME? NOT CUTE!) Voting out Ruthie pros: I prove to Michael that I'm loyal, I get out someone I have not spoken to at all. Voting out Ruthie cons: Voting with Michael could result in me getting voted out. I just got out of a call with Francie and we discussed a plan. I am going to get her to suggest to Michael that this tribal be a test of my loyalties. I told her to tell Michael that she thinks I'm going to vote with them. If the votes end up being 4-2, then I voted with them and I can be trusted. If the votes are 3-3, then they can vote me out in a revote. I'm hoping Michael agrees to this plan, votes out Ruthie, and I can prove a bit of my allegiance to him. Even though I have none. I just don't want him throwing my name around like this is some baseball game??? PLEASE leave me alone, dearest Michael! I am probably going to stress cry over this tribal. I don't want to leave. And then I won't be able to talk to Amanda G or Bryce and I DON'T WANT THAT! I'm like severely in danger because of this stupid twist (Just to clarify, it's not stupid, I'm just sad about how it's affecting me.).

Michael honestly was not on my radar at all before this round. But BOY he is now. I know I can't vote him out this round because that would probably put a bigger target on my back. And I know I can't call him out. I'm not messy like that. And that would ruin my allies' games too. But the moment I get the chance to vote him out, he's gone. My biggest fear is that Michael and Gwen sway Ruthie and Mo to their side and vote me out like that. That would suck for me. That would suck for Francie too. Especially because she's planning on voting for someone who was close-ish with.

Also, Michael claimed to Francie that I was in a pre-made alliance with Toph which is bullshit! If I had known how cracked that boy was BEFORE the game I would've voted him out first. How rude of Michael to assume I'm silly like that. I still love Toph, don't get me wrong. But :0

I'm trying to get more information from Ali. I think Michael will tell Ali his final plans for this tribal and Ali can then tell me. If Michael wants to vote with me, then good. If Michael decides to get Mo and Ruthie on his side and vote me out, then I will have to beg Amanda G for her idol. If she gives it to me and I play it, I'll claim that's what I won in the auction. That'll be my lame excuse. But it'll keep me a bit safer for another round? Who knows I DON'T KNOW! That's a bad plan. I won't do that. But I just DON'T WANT TO GO HOME!!!!

I'm just waiting for Amanda G to come online so I can talk to her about this whole situation. I'm very worried and her idol would very much come in handy right now? But I also don't think I'll have to use it if Ali and Francie can protect me enough. AHHHHH! I also feel shitty making Francie low key blindside Ruthie but like... Oopsie. I just wish I wasn't about to be chopped up and served for dinner right about now. Who wants to die? Emily does!

I have a strong feeling that a lot of people are going to be bitter or mad towards me once they read these confessions and realize what was going on... let's just hope nobody gets bitter while we're still playing though :) An idol and a fake idol? Loving this concept. Using the fake idol to turn everyone on overly paranoid people? Even better. And the best? Having people just give me information without me even having to ask for it. This game is fun.

Hopefully this works. It took forever to upload https://youtu.be/cfD5n6MlLkU Basically I'm voting Gwen and so are a few others. Girl tried to play us like a fiddle but she didn't tune us properly.

So much tea has been spilt and I'm SO overwhelmed! I think things are looking up possibly! Gwen messaged Mo and Ruthie and told them that she used her alliance reader on me and revealed that I am a part of five alliances. I believed this for a hot minute (Because we all know I'm in like ? a lot of alliances?), but then I realized that Gwen messaged me just a bit earlier saying that she used her alliance revealer on RUTHIE and that SHE was a part of five alliances! WOW! I think we caught Gwen and Michael! HMMMMMMM! Also, Gwen is wrong about the number of alliances. I'm probably in like ten alliances. Oopsie.

So now Francie, Ruthie, Mo, and I will be voting for Gwen at this tribal :-) Ruthie and I are comparing notes and OH MY GOD Gwen T R U  L Y dragged me through the mud. She and Michael are totally right about me orchestrating Nayeli's tribal. And they totally found me out. But I have ties with the right people, I suppose, and I think I have the votes to stay this round. AHHHH???????

I think my favorite part about this is that Gwen and Michael are, in fact, correct in their assuming I orchestrated stuff and that I have a good social game. And I recognize that this is going to probably make my target even bigger, but I need Michael or Gwen out. And soon. I don't think Gwen is going to end up going after Amanda Lynn until I'm gone. So I'm going to make sure Gwen leaves before I do? And Michael has been talking the most shit to Francie, Ali, and Amanda Lynn about me. Mo told me he thinks Michael will go next. And that sounds good to me.

I need to stay a bit under the radar for these coming tribals? I'm worried that the Nayeli tribal really put a huge target on my back. And I was prepared to live with the consequences but now I want to Die™ because Michael and Gwen have me between a rock and a hard place. I need to see what I can do.

Gwen and Michael are trying to get my girl out. Oh no, boo boo. You tried, and you're going to fail! Emily and I are making a plan to save Emily and to get Gwen out. I think it's best for our game to get Michael out because he's the one saying this shit, but as long as it's one of them I'm fine. Get heckedt, guys :).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T5rIKz4G4Gc

Okay so I forgot to send in a confessional this round so I'm using speech to text to make sure that I get in all my thoughts before the deadline. Hopefully autocorrect loves me today. Anyway we merged! I'm so excited to be back with Emily and Abby and Ali! So we did a reward challenge which wound up being not a reward Challenge and half the tribe is immune and I'm part of the half that is immune so woo! Unfortunately Francie and Emily are part of the tribe that has to go to tribal. Boo. I'm hoping that everything turns out okay and that both my girls make it out alive. I promise hosts I will make a more detailed confessional later tonight. It's just been a really short round and I have not had too much time. :-)

As tribal looms closer, I'm getting more and more nervous. I want to help Emily out and give her the idol, but it's the Espirito idol. I think she's going to be safe so I wouldn't give it to her this round. I would give it to her in a round where I knew she would go home, but she was never on Espirito. If I feel in danger and  don't want to use my idol, I'm giving my idol to Bryce because he's been on Espirito pre-swap and post-swap.

I can't wait for this idol maneuver. I have a real merge idol (1), a fake idol from the auction that I've re-labeled "merge idol" (2), and a fake idol that's a picture of a feather from google labeled "auction idol" (3). So the plan is to give someone the "merge idol" which is really just #2, get them to trust me with that and possibly watch them crash and burn if they try to use it, then later on have someone (probably Abbey) fake a betrayal of me by giving them #3 saying "Will trusted me with this, but use it to get him out" or something like that making them feel comfortable while actually just setting them up to be voted out a la Randy in Gabon. And of course, I'll save the real idol for myself when I need it most. But oh boy this is gonna be a good one if I can pull it off. And if y'all are reading this and I got voted out before I could do any of this, I'm just a big fool but hey at least I'm going for the gold here. And Amanda G's idol? We'll do something about that soon enough :)

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163965445583/tribal-council-9-pelatao

LAST WORDS: practically i had a lot of fun i really did end liking ali toward the end surprisingly! i love my main bitches nayeli & michael rip :**. anyways if these people know whats good for them they'll 1. start targeting strong social players and not like ... ppl with no social power in this game lol 2. start doing shit with the jury !!!! like i hope they do know that you cant just blindside everyone and not try to at least have ppl who like you on the jury.... 3. making the voting more interesting i think this season has been almost entirely unanimous (yes that 3-2-2 vote is included in that).  anyways back to me, my final words are watch out I'm totally returning for villains season or all stars! bye bye silly bitches :***

Gwen becomes the (in theory...) first member of the jury

#imthegreatergood #episodes